THE OFFICIAL JOE T. PROFILE
Name: Joeseph Dean Tomozsuki (JDT)
Height: 5’10
Weight: 164
Age: 35
Educational History: Graduated at the top of his elementary class in 1975, Graduated from Elm Street Middle School in 1979, completed Freshman year in 1982, Dropped out of Nashua High School (Purple Panthers), Returned in 1992 and graduated under an adult course, successfully completed AA four times.
Athletic History: Backup catcher for Nashua Biddy League Yankees for six years, third string wideout for Nashua High School’s Freshman squad 1980-1982, Half back for League Champion Post 25 Cobras (Part of Nashua’s 30+ Flag Football League), Verbally assaulted ex-Patriot Coach Pete Carroll at a 1998 Patriots/Chargers game form 36 rows up (Still got booted), Gatorade Manager for the Nashua Pride July ’00-August ’00, Mooned Pete Carroll at a local United Way Charity Event.
Criminal Record: Taken into custody for breaking antennas off of Cadillac’s at Chuck’s Auto Body (1976, 2000), Taken into custody after exposing myself to classmate Janice LeBeaux (1979), Breaking windows at Sherm’s Tire Company on E Street (1980), Assaulting an off duty officer at a bar in Foxboro after a Patriots game (1983,1984, 1990, 1997) , Verbally assaulting Pete Carroll (1998, 1999) Failure to comply to child support payments (1997-2001), Urinating on a homeless man (1989), Spitting on a homeless man (1989), Breaking into Dunkin Donuts on French Hill, Hair We Are on Williams Ave., and NH State Liquor Store in Concord (1988, 1985, 1995), DWI, DUI, Drunk Driving, DWA (Asleep), jeez I’ve been arrested for that so many times I’VE lost count, suspend license through 2007.
Kids: Two, Hannah and Ashley. I love ‘em to death.
Marital Status: Single, but still yearnin’ for my ex-wife Maria.
Homes: Hillsoboro II Trailor Park (Litchfield), French Hill (Nashua), E and C Street (Nashua, current)
Favorites:
Movie: Rambo’s First Blood
Actor: Shaq
Actress: The lady who played Mrs. Doubtfire
Song: Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue
Band: Poison
TV Show: Monday Night Raw (RIP Nitro)
Wrestler: DDP and Mike Awesome
Board Game: Candy Land
Video Game: Madden ’94 for Super NES
Drink: Beer
Beer: Bud
Bar: Benny Brewington’s on Lance Street
Daughter: Hannah
Food: Rum Cake
Person: Brad Baxter
Color: Red, Blue, and Silver, and white too.
Football Team: PATRIOTS BABY!
Least Favorites:
Movie: Angels In The Outfield
Actor: Ivan Drago
Actress: Drago’s Wife
Song: Mmm Bop by Hanson
Band: Boyz II Men
TV Show: M*A*S*H
Wrestler: Triple H (Sidenote to HHH: You are an embarassment to Nashua!)
Board Game: Checkers
Video Game: WWF War Zone
Drink: Light Beer (F*** Amstel)
Beer: Amstel
Bar: De Maro’s on 44th Main SCREW YOU GUYS! Whaddaya think I go to bars NOT to get hammuhd.
Daughter: Ashley
Food: Oysters
Person: Either Pete Carroll or Barry (Maria’s new fag….er, man)
Color: Green
Football Team: Jets
Current Employment: Supervisor at Dennis/Boylton Chemical Testing Facility. I handle all sorts of dangerous shit.
Aspirations: Cause Bill Parcells to have a heart-attack. Marry Maria again.
