Another Shot of Sunshine (Pam)
Here I am, alone again. Well, not -completely- alone. I've got my old buddy Scotch here. We've been through a lot, that's for sure. And it's always there for me, which is more than I can say for anyone else in this whole damn world. Yeah, I got problems. Who the hell doesn't? Just because my problems are different than theirs, they think I’m a worse person. Hey, look, I'm the devil because I drink sometimes, but you're a saint for sleeping with every man you see because in your narrow mind that's an alright thing to do. What a bunch of crap. I don't hurt people when I drink. I don't yell at them, well not anymore so than I would when I'm sober. But you're screwing with their minds and their hearts. That's something even -I- wouldn't do. Yet everyone here still thinks you're little miss perfect. It makes me sick.
First, you bang your ex while you're dating another boy, so you dump the poor guy. Then for some reason, he shows interest in me. For the first time in a long time, I actually didn't feel worthless. I actually had a few good days. Then you both go behind my back and hook up again. But that's still not enough, is it?? I start seeing Lynx, and immediately you shoot back over to him like some needy puppy dog. Make up your damn mind! Are you so selfish you can't let anyone else in this house have a relationship? Or do you just want to make sure you have plenty of back-ups for when you get bored with whichever guy you're sleeping with? Here's a headline for you: people ain't toys. Grow the hell up.
I think we are both similar in one way: we both hate ourselves. The difference between us is, I just hurt myself, while you go out and hurt all those around you. But…why don't they care? Why does everyone still love you and hate me? Tell me why, damn it! I'm not a joke, and this isn't a game! I'm not just "the drunk". I'm a real person. A horrible person, but a real one nonetheless. I'm not just... an object to be used or derided to make yourselves feel better temporarily. Bah. I hate you all. You deserve each other. I don't need a one of you. Not a one! All I need is my friend here. My only friend. Then I'll be alright, for tonight at least...
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