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~ BUGWEY's Daily Thoughts And Fuzzy Memories: Part II ~
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From: Raijin52
| Posted: 2/14/2006 5:56:09 AM | Message Detail
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>_>
<_<
\(^^)/ |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 2/15/2006 2:54:10 PM | Message Detail
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Those shifty eyes don't fool me! I know what you're after! You're after my special spices! Year after year, all you meddling kids always try to take what isn't rightfully yours! Exclamation point!
Don't give me that look of innocence! I know the score! Seventy times a day I get asked by those punks on the sidewalk to give them some spices. Little do they know that I spy on them each and every day; and when they least expect it, BAM! A fully cooked steak slapped right in their face! That'll teach em...
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BUGWEY! |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 2/16/2006 11:03:54 PM | Message Detail
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I often wonder why people bother watching the news. If I want news, I'll make my own!
Thought I was going to say something funny, didn't you? Well, no beans, Jared! Your shifty eyes are no match for my supreme wit, my excellent cunningnessesness, my perfect modestynessess...! Shifty eyes today! Mass genocide tomorrow! That's what you're trying to tell me, aren't you? You damn shifty eyed person, you!
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BUGWEY! |
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From: LCC
| Posted: 2/28/2006 3:32:12 PM | Message Detail
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Start posting more postilations, you lazy oaf! Don't make me bring out the umbrellas again!
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From: Groovilicious
| Posted: 3/1/2006 4:18:43 PM | Message Detail
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Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. Hell, here I come.
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Please play again? More like PLEASE PAY AGAIN!-ravenwarrior, on soda bottle cap games
Beware of Piranha. }«{{{°> }«{{{°> }«{{{°> |
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From: Groovilicious
| Posted: 3/1/2006 4:31:20 PM | Message Detail
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Some people say that video games don't have any effect on the way people behave in real life. Nonsense, I say! I can't count how many times I've seen people turn into blue balls and race around town, or watch as people get four times as large after eating a mushroom. Then the people in white suits come after me, but I just use Fire2 against them.
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Please play again? More like PLEASE PAY AGAIN!-ravenwarrior, on soda bottle cap games
Beware of Piranha. }«{{{°> }«{{{°> }«{{{°> |
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From: LCC
| Posted: 3/1/2006 4:35:34 PM | Message Detail
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And you just forgot your BUGWEY suit!
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From: Groovilicious
| Posted: 3/1/2006 4:42:34 PM | Message Detail
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Maybe the BUGWEY suit forgot about ME! Did you ever think of THAT?!!
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Please play again? More like PLEASE PAY AGAIN!-ravenwarrior, on soda bottle cap games
Beware of Piranha. }«{{{°> }«{{{°> }«{{{°> |
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From: LCC
| Posted: 3/1/2006 4:48:27 PM | Message Detail
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No.
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 3/6/2006 7:36:07 PM | Message Detail
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On every Thursday, I find myself wondering. So, I ask myself,
"Self, what's the right angle of the quadratic formula divided from the Logarithm?"
And he replies, "HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING ME?"
Silly self... jerk doesn't realize there are ways around restraining orders.
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Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
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From: LCC
| Posted: 3/14/2006 8:19:49 PM | Message Detail
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I once tried to get a restraining order to keep Mickey Mouse away from me. That crazy mouse has waved to me one too many times...
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 3/24/2006 5:15:57 PM | Message Detail
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The....... seventh........ hour............. has.............. come...
kjfgjhgdkhgfghluyriytejbckytrotrewreqcjssokiugwksi8g,mastydjuytmfdjBUGWEY
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BUGWEY! |
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From: LCC
| Posted: 4/13/2006 7:26:50 PM | Message Detail
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Is that so? Sounds like something a parakeet would say.
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 5/5/2006 3:38:55 AM | Message Detail
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What I did over spring break
An essay report presentation
By
BUGWEY!
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BUGWEY stood on the precipice of a rocky cliff. Over the edge, sharp crags jutted out from the sand. The sweltering sun beat down on him as he gazed toward the distant horizon. He extended his arms as if to encompass the whole of this everlasting wasteland. After countless journeys and perils, his adventures had finally led him to a world of sand. Beyond this vast desert lay a lush, unexplored realm. The land of dreams.
A sudden gust of blazing wind rushed over him, the shawls of his nomadic garb billowed forth as the culmination of his experiences clustered to this single nexus. BUGWEY knew no one had ever crossed this desert and lived to tell the tale. Taking this into account, he got back in his BMW and drove on.
Back on the road, BUGWEY turned the air conditioner on full blast. He rocked his head back and forth like a bobble head, grinning stupidly in appreciation of the luxuries of his "legitimately-purchased" automobile. This had several effects. First, the massive amounts of water in his head made him dizzy. To remedy this, he wildly swerved back and forth on the road, hoping to warn passing motorists. This was actually made worse by the fact that he had his eyes closed. His Driver's Ed teacher (as a joke) taught him this was a good defensive driving technique. Unfortunately, BUGWEY is unable to perceive sarcasm. "10 O'clock and 2 O'clock!!!!" he yelled, just before careening off a nearby cliff.
Down he plunged, into the deep recesses of the decaying earth, nearly four feet below. With cat-like reflexes, he thrust open the door and leapt like a freak from the already stationary vehicle. He tumbled across the dry terrain and shielded his head from the imminent explosion.
He had no idea how long he lay there. That car would explode any minute now. Occasionally, he would toy with the idea of getting up and maybe throwing a grenade or two at it, but decided against it. BUGWEY knew all too well the nature of his foe. Explosions were masters of deceit. The moment he raised his head, he knew that thing would blow up good right in his face. He smirked at his own brilliance.
Attention Deficit Disorder is by far the most serious (and existent) disease ever, in all of history. Ever. However, it would sometimes work in BUGWEY's favor. After several minutes, he rose to his feet, attempting to recall what he was just doing.. failure!! But one thing was clear, he was stranded in the middle of nowhere. If he was to survive, he would need to act quickly. Surveying his surroundings, he noticed a pretty rock several yards away. Even almost as exciting, this rock sat at the base of a vast monolith. An ancient, looming, derelict castle. BUGWEY stood in awe at the exquisite craftwork. Such a marvel must have been centuries old! He pondered what it must have looked like at its glorious conception, compared to the splendor which now stood before him. It must have been a magnificence beyond comparison. Who knew what wonders lay within even now? Truly, this was the most amazing rock BUGWEY had ever seen!
Oh, and the castle. That one, too.
BUGWEY stepped toward the stern tower. With each footfall, he felt his heart flutter and he rubbed his hands together greedily, in anticipation of the delicious treats inside. The poor, poor fool. On that day, that one fateful day when BUGWEY passed into the shadows, he would learn what prize fate would bestow upon the wicked souls of those who live their lives immersed in greed....
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BUGWEY! |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 5/5/2006 3:39:02 AM | Message Detail
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Several hours later, BUGWEY sat in an extravagant hall filled with fabulous treasure. "Greed pays well," he noted, atop his crystal throne.
BUGWEY took to exploring the depths of the castle. Although, "looting" is probably a more appropriate term for his activities therein. At one turn, his wanderings led him down a beautiful, candle-lit hall. He snatched exquisite, priceless paintings from the walls and gracelessly tossed them into a large sack he was dragging behind him, brimming with other stolen goodies.
Suddenly, the floorboards began to shake. However, BUGWEY was no dummy. He was an avid hunter and knew exactly what to do in a situation such as this: he would play dead and hope for the bad stuff to go away. After all, that floor was more afraid of him than he was of it. In a stroke of luck, BUGWEY was correct! The floor did indeed go away.
When he came to, BUGWEY could hear the steady drip-drip of water. The air chilled him to the bone and he had the distinct impression he was in a cave or maybe a multiplex. He groggily stood up. "Owwies.. where am I?"
"Where am I?"
BUGWEY grinned. "Cool, an echo! Ahem, I'm here! Where are you?"
"I'm here, where are you?"
"Hehe.. I asked you first; where are you?"
"None of your business."
"Hehe, I.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" BUGWEY ran several steps, tripped over his own feet, twisted his ankle, and lost the big game somehow. It was the worst disgrace of his life. And on top of it all, he was about to be brutally murdered by some disembodied voice. A voice that obviously wanted to kill him.
And then it hit him. The most deviously clever plan ever conceived by man. Mustering his courage, he called out, "Hey, do you know Fred?"
"Fred who?" asked the voice.
"Fred of Snakes!" BUGWEY then covered his ears, because big laughs were coming.
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BUGWEY! |
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From: Latronis
| Posted: 5/14/2006 2:42:47 AM | Message Detail
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Have you ever just stared at a mirror with your face an inch from the glass and think that the person looking back isn't really you at all? I have. It gets to the stage where i just know he's going to reach through, grab me by my collar and headbutt me. That's when i pullover and get out of the car.
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Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 5/18/2006 1:14:42 AM | Message Detail
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I used to know a guy named Rake. Yeah, good ol' Rake used to spend most of his time in my backyard, leaning against the toolshed. Then one day in Autumn, I awoke to find all of the leaves that had fallen the previous day were gone from my yard. And there was Rake, lying in the middle of my yard looking quite satisfied. I rushed back into my house and locked all the doors. Late one night the next week, it was really windy out and I thought I heard something metal scratching against my toolshed. That's when I called the cops.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. BUGWEY
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...12/6/2004 - No one logs in anymore |
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 5/22/2006 10:10:49 PM | Message Detail
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My brother and I went around Hobby Lobby with a plastic banana, pretending it was a cellphone. Why? Cause we've watched Pistachio Pudding and listened to Raffi.
The convos we had went something like this:
Me: "Is it snowing in Chicago?"
Him: "No."
Me: "WHY NOT?"
Him "It's Spring"
Me: "But what about the hemispheres?"
Him: "Pollution"
Me: "Oh right."
Some of the major reactions we got:
A small girl laughed when we went past
We walked by people at the Check-out lane, more on them later
Various people wondering "IS HE TALKING TO BANANA?"
And one preppy girl, when my brother said "YOU'RE FIRED", gave us a look of "OMG HE IS TALKING TO A BANANA IM GONNA KILL MYSELF!!11!" A look that would make Limecat pleased.
When we were done, we got rid of the banana by promptly throwing it back (and got a glimpse of a guy jumping out of the way). We went to the checkout lane. The people there saw us and moved up the lane. Then another lane opened, so the people went over there... and we did what any other normal BUGWEY would do; we followed them.
So, we got into a discussion about how the "Real Ultimate Power" batteries were actually ninjas in disguise about to flip out and kill everybody. And everyone started breathing heavily and got all sweaty. They were definitely hitting on us.
And when we left, we promptly killed a few innocent bystanders.
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Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ BUGWEY? |
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From: joeyman9
| Posted: 6/8/2006 1:01:37 PM | Message Detail
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I <3 Bugwey
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Well, you can easily meet a girl in art class. A hot girl, now there you'd have to roll a d20 to figure out the odds. - Ruzinus |
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 6/9/2006 7:39:15 PM | Message Detail |
I went to my high school reunion the other day. It didn't matter that I never passed 7th grade (apparently skipping class the rest of your life will NOT get you a diploma), I was just there for the food.
So I did what any other self respecting mass-murderer would do; I gave the speech!
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the astounding school that you've all been to before. There's bombs on all the supports so you only have one more chance to remember it.
Anyways, this school has the finest history of all the states! Your website is very thorough! And oh, the memories, they're so fresh. It's just like I made them up yesterday. And Joel! Remember that one time we went to the Museum and "stole all the valuable items"?
*everyone wonders why I pointed at a potato*
Oh stop being modest, Joel!
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BUGWEY?
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From: LCC | Posted: 6/19/2006 12:16:00 PM | Message Detail |
For those of you who care:
http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs9/genmessage.php?board=933745&topic=28748644
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 6/23/2006 2:10:37 PM | Message Detail |
Today I remember the learned about an area of land. There wasn't actually any land present, for it was full of water. One could argue that there actually was land underneath the water, but they're obviously wrong and are communists. Yes, i'm talking about where the fish lives.
One might wonder why there is only one fish there or how it came to be in an area of no-land that has water that flows nowhere and is encompassed by multiple Jupiters and a very small Neptune. Nobody knows. Stop asking me! I'm getting tired of all the mails and facsimiles and emails and telegramiphones and sasquatch air bombings. Not to mention Einsteinium. I'm not even sure what i'm talking about anymore.
I'm going to where the fish lives.
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BUGWEY!
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 7/6/2006 12:14:51 AM | Message Detail |
Since SOMEBODY decided to let a CERTAIN TOPIC purge, I shall repost the said WORDS.
Now, what we have here in our modern day society are such simple and plain envelopes. Oh sure, you're probably thinking "But what's wrong with plain envelopes? They're practical and inexpensive! Surely we don't need anything fancier do we, BUGWEY?" Then I come back with an answer such as this: "Young child, there comes a time in every man's life where they have to go beyond the shackles of simple envelopes." Yet you still probably aren't convinced.
There are many benefits to using fancier envelopes. First of all, the person you are sending it to would most likely open up the colorful envelope first. Unless, of course, your resumé is inside the fancy envelope, and your resumé is actually a piece of construction paper with macaroni glued to it; but who really wants to work for someone who doesn't enjoy colorful things, sniffing glue, and eating raw macaroni along with construction paper? I know I certainly don't!
The best part of using designer envelopes would be sending letter to homeless people and showing them how bad they really have it by giving them a taste of the sublime nature of the scrumtralescent envelopage of which you have bestowed upon him. He'll probably be blinded and jump off of a cliff after seeing how beautiful it is.
The best aesthetic part of designer envelopes would be the various fabrics an materials they would come in. You could make them out of yarn, magnets, laser beams, cat food, paper, cat food, Metallica CD's, anything at all! Some would even come with environmental settings so that the letter is at a comfortable temperature, pressure, and humidity. You wouldn't want your letter to die in there! Also, you would have the option of having the automatic envelope opening system and voice recognition and finger print system, so that the letter wouldn't fall into the wrong hands. An electronic stamp system would be put into place so that you wouldn't have to waste precious resources on stamps!
Ah yes, designer envelopes would be such a grand thing, indeed! Tell me friends and chums, what are your opinions on envelopes?
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BUGWEY!
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 7/15/2006 11:26:51 AM | Message Detail |
The BUGWEY guide to Arctic Life
The first thing you must do before even thinking about moving to the sunny beaches of the Arctic is to dress up in the appropriate Arctic attire. You can usually find parkas, umbrellas, tuxedos, and hash at your local street dealer. Look one up in the yellow pages if you're not sure on the general location.
The next thing you must do is research the types of food eaten in Arctician homes. Their main diet consists of pizza, turkish food, salt water, ice, burritos, and Arctic Circle candy.
Not only will the cultural shock put you out of commission, the hazards opf the Arctic will too. You will always have to watch out for invading Italians trying to steal Arctic Circle candy, and you will also need to be careful of time travelling canoes that take you back to ancient Scotland.
You have just taken your first step into the world of the Arctic Circle!
-PLEASE INSERT TAPE #2 TO CONTINUE-
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BUGWEY!
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 7/24/2006 12:21:44 AM | Message Detail |
Insert it, or I'll insert your face off!
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BUGWEY!
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 7/25/2006 10:01:27 PM | Message Detail |
Have it your way, you silly oranges. I'll just post something ELSE!
One day, Bob came over to my house and asked if I had any mayonnaise. I said yes, and went and got a jar of it. Just as I reached out to hand it to him, this duck flew by and grabbed the jar as it passed. Even worse, it was laughing at us poor saps the whole time. I'll never forget that laugh. It was so....evil. It sounded something like: "Quahahahahahahahack". Anyway, Bob and I started running after it, but we were no match for it's incredible speed. It got away easily. I was in shock. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. My precious jar of mayonnaise was...was....gone. If it weren't for Bob punching me in the face to wake me up, we probably wouldn't have ever gone after that duck. But, thankfully, he did. And so, my new mission in life was found: I had to find and punish that damned duck.
The first thing we did was go into our houses and load up on supplies. We then got into Bob's hippy-van and hit the road. The first two months were hard, mostly because Bob insisted on playing Yanni at full blast the entire time, but it got better once I finally destroyed the tape player while he was sleeping. I blamed it on the duck, and that's when he got serious. Up till then, he'd just been helping a friend in need. But now... Now it was personal.
We canvased the area we'd seen the duck fly off to with pictures, but we got false lead after false lead. Some people just can't seem to tell one duck from another. After several incidents, including a few encounters with this man,
http://img84.imageshack.us/my.php?image=itsatrap8mp.jpg
and one that ended in a restraining order,
http://img216.imageshack.us/my.php?image=theking25ye.jpg (that's Bob in the picture)
we were starting to get discouraged. We'd almost given up hope of ever finding it, when we saw a commercial. A commercial for a company named Afflack. The duck was wearing a disguise, but we could tell it was him. So we decided to head for Hollywood, and find the people who'd made that commercial. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
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BUGWEY!
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 7/25/2006 10:03:31 PM | Message Detail |
I bought some plane tickets the next day, and after convincing Bob, who's been afraid of flying ever since the incident with the pillowcase and the stewardess's blouse, to get on the plane (I had to hold his pet rock, Ronnie, hostage), we were on our way to Hollywood. Halfway through the flight, Bob was pretty drunk from all the whiskey he smuggled on board, when he woke me up and said he'd seen a flock of geese outside, and one of them flipped him off. I told him to shut up and go to sleep, and went back to sleep myself. A little while later, a tap on the window woke me up, so I told Bob to knock it off, and tried to get back to sleep again. The tapping continued, so I finally got fed up and turned to yell at him, but found that he wasn't there, and the tapping had ceased. I later found out he'd gone to the bathroom while I was sleeping, and hadn't gotten back yet. But where was this tapping coming from? I stared at the window for a minute, but it didn't start again, so I shrugged my shoulders, turned over, and was just about to doze off when I heard it again. I turned back to look at the window as quickly as I could, and there, in the corner of my eye, I saw it as it slipped away again: a scruffy looking goose, with eyes blazing red, flying alongside the plane.
I kept watching, and just as I thought that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, I saw it again, struggling to keep up with the plane. It finally reached the window, raised it's wing, and then, I saw what it was doing: it had a pair of brass feathers attached to it's wing, and it was using them to bang on the window. It brought it's wing down once more with a swift crack, and, to my horror, I saw a hairline crack forming on the window. I thought of calling a stewardess, but then I remembered that episode of The Twilight Zone that I'm ripping this off from, and what happened to that guy. No, I couldn't count on the crew for help. I needed someone crazy enough to believe me, but sane enough to help. That's when Bob came back.
TO BE CONTINUED...?
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BUGWEY!
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 7/27/2006 10:29:15 PM | Message Detail |
So I went to the mall today, trying on rings. I found one really awesome one that fit my finger perfectly. Now before you start making fun of me (making fun of BUGWEY!? PURE MADNESS!), I'll say that I was trying on rings for a higher purpose than to look pretty. While looking pretty is nice and all, it's priceless to see the look on a person's face after they got beat up by a guy with a diamond ring on. It's also priceless to see the large scar that the ring left on him a couple weeks later. Now whenever people ask him about how he got that horrifying scar on his cheek, he'll have to tell them all about the guy with a girly ring on.
I completely made that stuff up, by the way. I just want to see more guys trying on rings in malls and getting everyone to point and laugh at them for not following the standards of masculinity that society has placed on all of us. Tee hee.
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BUGWEY!
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From: SwordMaster12 | Posted: 8/3/2006 8:37:50 AM | Message Detail |
This is a truly great topic because of BUGWEY's stories. And this topic will only become better if BUGWEY tells more stories.
When you are running, time seems to slow down. You may have just ran for almost a minute but it will feel like a couple of hours.
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http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs9/gentopic.php?board=574706- my board
http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs9/gentopic.php?board=572696- Home of The Hallax Empire
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 8/16/2006 11:07:22 PM | Message Detail |
Dear Diary: Today I threw 3 cats into my neighbours living room. This freaked him out because he is allergic to cats and they all came in at once. I feel bad about what I did, so next time I will only throw one cat at a time.
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BUGWEY!
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From: Xim | Posted: 8/18/2006 12:36:53 AM | Message Detail |
Oh, Justin.
*plays Grandia*
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 9/5/2006 4:43:09 PM | Message Detail |
You can't just PLAY videogames. You have to live them.
I'm still trying to figure out why the lines aren't disappearing on this 12 km high tetris block board i've been making...
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BUGWEY!
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From: BUGWEY | Posted: 9/8/2006 10:19:44 PM | Message Detail |
I used to have a cat named Molly when I was little. One day, she started sneezing and had big horrible splotches all over her body. My parents told me she was getting very old and sick and that she would have to be put to sleep. I was really young, so it's understandable that they would tell me that, to try to comfort me. But I knew the horrible truth.
That's right, Molly was being targeted for assassination. Apparently, she had offended all the wrong kind of people while visiting the market quarter of the crime-infested nation of Klockraftenstein. My parents took her away in a small cage with teary eyes that day.
I can only assume Molly is still in hiding.
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BUGWEY!
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