Invading the Fellowship

Part Twenty-Five

 

“Four miles to Orthanc,” Sami looked back at the green sign.

“Yay! Four more miles till I get my Ivan back!” Katie squealed.

“-.- Ivan this, Ivan that.” Link pouted.

“XD ‘Scuse me for bein’ worried.” Katie tackled him, both falling over the backseat.

“O.o;; That was interested.” Orli sweatdropped.

“Apple pies high up…sky ho!” Aragorn and Gimli were in the front of the large van, singing some stupid song.

“…I’m bored.” Legolas looked at Sami.

“…So?” Sami moved over a bit toward the window.

“^_________^ Can I do your nails?” He whipped out a manicure kit.

“XD Sure, why not?” Sami held out her hands. “I want cherry red.”

“K.”

“I spy with my little eye something…ugly!” Ewan announced.

Oliver looked around. “Gimli!” He grinned.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” They started laughing, then fell off the seat.

“OW! x.x” Ewan rubbed his head.

“^○^ Hi! Wanna play cards?” Katie sat playing Hearts with Link.

“Sure.” Oliver dealt the deck.

“…You shouldn’t make that move.” Ewan eyed Link.

“If I did, you would counter it with that card, of which I could hit you big time with.” Link smirked.

“>/ Never play cards with Jedis.” Katie pulled out her GBA and started playing Golden Sun.

“…Yeah, okay love. Byebye.” Orli hung up the plothole. “We’re meeting them at the Holiday Inn.”

 

***

 

“Okay, now that we’re here, we have work to do,” Treebeard said.

“What…work?” Merry asked.

“We Ents have a little score to settle with that wizard Saruman,” he spat the name.

“oOoOo, can we help?” Renee asked.

“Sure. I already have the Ent army here. They’ve been putting out the trenches with water from the river. We’re going to flood the place. So be ready!”

“’Lisse…” Pippin said.

“Okay, you two short ones,” he pointed at Merry and Pippin, “stay here at the gate. I’m expecting people. Tell them I’ll be by the tower.”

“Uh, okay,” Merry said.

“Where’s the food?” Pippin blinked.

“Should be some in that guard house over there.” Ivan pointed.

“Right, now the rest of you roam around. Kill any orc you see. We’ll round you up later.”

“Haha! ‘Lisse!” Renee yelled, grabbing her sword and running off.

“Renee-sama! Wait, this will be good training!” Haldir yelled at her retreating back.

“Ugh…” she grunted from a distance.

“Okay, let’s go Dew.” Ivan and Dew started forward.

“Leaf! I need Leaf!” Treebeard yelled.

“Yeah?” Leaf asked, appearing beside him.

“I need my phone.”

“Right, here you are.”

“Thanks man, take a twenty.”

“^_^ Thanks!” Leaf flounced off.

Treebeard punched in some numbers, and a voice came on the other end of the line.

“Yessir?”

“Go to the tower. Get Saruman out. Ready, forward!” he bellowed through the phone.

“Is this what Middle-Earth has come to?” Merry asked.

Pippin just shrugged.

 

***

 

“Dude, look!” #3 pointed.

“oOoOoOoOo! A candy shop! Let’s go!” Dennis ran for the store.

#6 grabbed the back of his robe. “Uh-uh!” He scolded Dennis, shaking his finger.

“T.T But why?” Dennis whined.

“Too many calories!” #7 told him, as if it were obvious. “Besides, you need to work off the ones you already have.”

“Wha?” Dennis asked, pinching his stomach.

“Not even for a bit?” #1 questioned innocently.

“Not if you don’t want to lost your six-pack,” #5 said.

“O.O Lose my six-pack?!” #1 shrieked. “No!”

“Then no candy.”

#1 sighed. “Fine…”

 

***

 

“Hey babe?” Frodo asked.

Megan didn’t hear him, being too busy ogling Peter again.

“Um…I think the short driver person wants you.” Peter pointed.

“♥.♥ …Yeah…”

“Right.” He looked at Sam. “HEY! DON’T EAT MY PHYSICS BOOK!”

Sam looked up stupidly, half a page hanging out of his mouth. “Wha?” Peter grabbed the book away from the hobbit, muttering under his breath.

“Babe…”

Megan sighed, still gazing at Peter.

“BABE!”

“What?” Megan snapped.

“I don’t know. This might just be a hunch, but I think we’re close to Mordor.” He pointed out the window.

A great orc army came out of a gate. Leading them was none other than Larry.

“Oh, great, hide! I don’t want them to see us!” Megan said.

“Okay.” Frodo pulled over into the woods, and they watched the orcs pass.

“Hold up one minute.” Larry halted the army.

“Uh-oh…think he sees us?” Megan whispered.

“There’s no way. Maybe he’s connected to the Ring!” Frodo said.

“Frodo, no!” Megan grabbed Frodo’s arm. He was trying to put the Ring on. “Peter! Wrap him up with your web-shooter!”

Peter shot some webs at Frodo, successfully binding his arms together.

“oOo, Ringses!” Gollum hissed.

“Gollum…” Megan warned.

“Sorries.”

“NO! Give me the Ring!” Frodo screeched.

Finally, after some more web-shooting, Frodo was safely subdued in the front seat.

“Never mind,” Larry said to the orcs. “Must have been something I ate. Move out.”

Megan wiped her brow. “Frodo, we need to talk…”

 

***

 

“oOoOoOoOoOoOo…” Everyone stared in awe at the city of Orthanc.

“Are we in the right city?” Katie asked, devouring her daily bag of Chex Mix. “This looks like a big city.”

“Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!” A sheep walked down the street with a pink poodle.

“…Was that a sheep?” Legolas blinked twice. Link grabbed his hair and yanked. Legolas let out a yelp.

“No, that’s a chicken.” Ewan shook his head. “And I thought Elves were smart.”

“Here we are!” Aragorn parked the van at the Holiday Inn.

“Yay!” Sami hopped out of the van. Dashing inside, she ran right into Joey Wheeler, making them both fall down.

“Careful, girlie. Might hurt yourself!” Joey helped Sami up.

“Joey!” Katie squealed, tackling the Yu-Gi-Oh! kid.  Link grabbed the Sam-Bat™ and dragged Gimli off behind a car.

“Yeah, hi. Listen, those guys you were supposed to meet are busy fighting someplace and won’t show up for awhile.”

“>/ Grrr…” Katie growled, kicking Some Hotel Worker. “I WANT IVAN!”

“Ow!” Some Hotel Worker started crying and ran off.

“So we’re just delayed a little while longer. Calm down, love,” Orli assured her.

“…Go away.” Katie kicked Orli over to Sami.

“Hm…guess we’re stuck in the city for awhile.”

“Let’s go to the hotel pool!” Sami suggested.

“We have business to attend to.” Aragorn stood up. “Gimli, Legolas, come.”

“But I wanna go shopping!” Legolas whined.

“Fine. Then stupid boys, you will join me.”

“Wha?” Ewan looked up from mixing Legolas’s hair crap together.

“The rest of you…do something. We shall return shortly.” Aragorn floated off towards a castle, the others behind him.

“Now what?” Sami looked at Orli.

“Let’s go shopping!” Legolas pranced about, then clung to Joey. “^○^ And you can buy me stuff!”

“X.X Um…no.” Joey shoved Legolas off him, and ran behind Sami.

“…I don’t even want to know.” Link sighed, shaking his head. “Can’t we just ditch him somewhere? He’s pointless!”

“T.T Saaaaamiiiiii…” Legolas whimpered.

“Sorry Link. He’s staying.”