Invading the Fellowship

Part Four

 

"Soooooo…" Megan said, being the intelligent person she was.

"Hey. Where are Merry and Pippin?" Renee asked.

"Er…"

"PIPPIN! NOOOO!" Katie cried.

"HEY! Pippin's my hobbit, remember?" Renee protested.

"Yay!" Sami said happily. "Then Legolas is mine!"

"I can have an Elf and a hobbit."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"I can too."

"Can't."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

Meanwhile, Katie and Megan were teaching the rest of the Fellowship how to play five-card draw.

"All right," Katie said. "I bet my surfboard."

"Er…well…I call your bet, and I raise you to…two carrots," Merry said.

"NO, MERRY, NOT THE CARROTS!" Pippin pleaded.

"Hey! Pippin's back!" Sami noted.

"So…what were we arguing about again?" Renee asked.

Sami shrugged. "Dunno. Can't remember. Oh well. Hey!" she yelled to Aragorn. "Deal me in!"

The Fellowship continued to play poker for a few hours, everyone losing to Gandalf, who now had a surfboard, two carrots, strawberry-, peach-, and pear-scented soap, a copy of Voces Y Vistas, a Chapstick, a few pictures of Sean Biggerstaff, two packs of Juicy Fruit, Gimli's helmet, and a TI-83 Graphing Calculator.

"I quit!" Katie yelled, throwing down her cards. "Should have known better than to play with a wizard! You stacked the deck!"

"I what?" Gandalf asked, obviously lost.

"Rigged it," Megan explained. "Set it up so you always win."

"Oh. That's what you call it? I mean, did not!" Gandalf argued.

"Did too!" Katie shot back.

"Did not!"

"Here we go again," Merry said, rolling his eyes.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Oh, shut up, you yag!" Sami shrieked. Renee burst into giggles, but everyone else was staring at them with expressions of confusion on their faces. Apparently, only Sami and Renee were in on this joke.

"Ooookay," Boromir said. "All right. Yes."

"I can't believe I bet my calculator," grumbled Renee. "When we get back, my mom's gonna kill me."

"How about if we go back?" Sami suggested. "I like that better. See, if we go back, I have to buy a new Spanish book."

Megan laughed. "If we go back, I have to print out some more pics of Sean Biggerstaff."

Well, since everyone was sick of Gandalf rigging the poker deck, Renee and Sami taught everyone how to play Egyptian Rats. After a few rounds of that, with Renee kicking everyone's butts, Gandalf stood up.

"All right, everyone," he said, stretching. "Ready to move on?"

"Huh?" Katie asked. She was leaning back against Haldir.

"I said we'd rest until dusk, didn't I? Time to go," he replied.

"No thank you," Megan said politely. "I think we'll stay."

Lightning flashed, thunder sounded, and Gandalf seemed to double in size, standing up straight and looking very angry/evil.

"Okay, okay!" Renee said. "Coming…yeah, all right…we're ready."

"Scared of pointy hat?" Sami whispered in her ear. They both dissolved, yet again, into laughter.

"Hey, I get it!" Katie exclaimed suddenly.

"Get what?" Megan asked.

"Yag! It's 'gay' spelled backward!"

"Just a tiny bit slow on the uptake, eh, Katie?"

"No…" Katie grumbled, rather embarrassed. She looked up at the mountain, then grinned.

"I'm afraid to ask what she's planning," Sami muttered to Renee and Megan.

"STOP!" Legolas shrieked, shoving Katie off the path. Sami and Renee looked at each other. Sami grabbed the bat, Renee got the Sam, and they all disappeared behind a tree.

"Ack! Go away!" Katie shoved Legolas away form her.

"Shhh…" he cautioned, pointing to the road. In the middle of it stood the most horrifying creature ever known to walk. The horses of the group ran away. The most hideous, foul, ugly, look-of-death beast opened its mouth, yawned, and out came the most frightening noise anyone every heard.

"Pi-ka-chu!" it chirped.

"What the—?" Megan began, but Aragorn clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Shhh…wait 'til it passes…" he hissed. The Pikachu sniffed the air, then continued down the road. Once it passed, everyone got back onto the road.

"We could have killed it." Pippin folded his arms.

"It is an endangered species," Merry pointed out.

"But it scared away our horses!"

After some more hiking, griping, complaining, and screaming, the Fellowship finally made it onto the snowy mountain.

"Legolas, the snow's too deep!" Sami said, turning to him. "Since you're such a strong elf, could you carry me?"

"Sure." He picked her up.

"Oh great," Sam muttered, trying to run away. Renee caught up with him and took him behind another rock.

"There's too much snow!" Megan said, then she jumped onto Boromir's back. "Forward! Harch!"

"Fine…" Boromir said, trudging along up the mountain.

"AHHHH!" Frodo cried out as he tumbled down the mountain, crashing into everyone along the way. They all lay in a heap at the bottom again.

"OW!" Legolas sat up, shaking his head. "What's that?" he asked. He took of his pack, as it was moving.

"Hey, did you steal my flying cuckoo?" Katie grabbed Legolas's pack.

"No, Merry took the chicken." Megan pointed to Merry, who was flying around on a chicken.

"But they can't fly," Renee said.

"This one can, apparently," Sami replied.

Katie ripped open Legolas's bag, and out popped…

 

"Smeagol! Preciousssss…" Gollum blinked.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" everyone except Katie screamed. They all ran to hide behind a rock, except Haldir, who stood next to Katie.

"^_^ Aw, it's so cute!" Katie hugged Gollum. "Here," she said, handing him to Haldir. He put Gollum on his left shoulder, and picked up Katie and put her on his right shoulder. They began walking down the road. Everyone else slowly peeked out from behind the rock.

"Er…" Megan said. "Yeah. Whatever floats your boat, Katie."

The rest of the Fellowship edged further away from Katie, Haldir, and Gollum.

"Here." Renee took out a box of fishsticks and tossed one to Gollum.

"My preciousssssss…" Gollum hissed, caressing it.

Meanwhile, Legolas was busy prancing around on top of the snow.

"Stupid Elfy-git," Megan muttered under her breath. She grabbed Gandalf's staff, making the old guy fall on the ground, and poked it into the snow.

Suddenly, a big hole opened up, spitting out the Gryffindor Quidditch team, complete with broomsticks.

"Hey, Gandalf's staff creates plotholes," Sami commented. "Who knew?"

"OLIVER!" Renee exclaimed, trying to grab the Keeper. Unfortunately for her, Megan was already tightly latched onto him.

"Harry!" Sami cried, just because no one else had yet.

"Who?!?" Merry asked.

"Never mind," Sami said.

Renee and Megan were still arguing over Oliver.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"MINE! You have Legolas remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Renee retreated, hopping onto the Elf's back.

In the meantime, Sami knocked out one of the Weasleys and stole his broomstick. "Mwahahaha! I don't have to walk anymore!"

"Will you steal me a broomstick, Sam?" Frodo asked. "Don't worry, Mr. Frodo, I'll carry you up the mountain!"

At that point, Megan whispered a broomstick joke that involved Sam and Frodo, then burst into giggles as Katie, Sami, and Renee exclaimed, "Eeeeeeeeeew!"

"I want a broomstick," Merry told Pippin.

Megan snickered. "Broomstick…hehe…"

Katie took out the Rod of Seasons and bashed Megan over the head with it. Out of the blue, the snow melted and flowers appeared everywhere. Legolas tripped, no longer having two feet of snow to prance about on. Pippin and Merry "borrowed" another broomstick from the Quidditch players.

Katie blinked. "Huh. It's never done that before."

"Does that mean I can't use it to beat Sam anymore?" Sami asked.

"Well…I dunno. Any extra weapons against Sam are definitely useful…"

"Well, let's just see," Sami said, grabbing the Rod and giving Sam a whack on the head. The sun shone brighter and birds chirped. She hit him again, and autumn leaves scattered the ground. Everyone looked around, confused.

"Ah, what the hell," Sami said, taking one more swing. The snow was back. Everyone looked at her, somewhat afraid.

"Well," Renee spoke up, who was sprawled on the ground from when Legolas had tripped the first time, "that was something you don’t see everyday."

"Cool," Megan commented, mounting Katie Bell's broomstick and kicking off into the air. "Whee!"

"So," Gimli grunted, "can we go through the Mines of Moria now?

"Ooh! Let the Ringbearer decide!" Katie squealed. "Just had to say that."

"Er…" Frodo looked at the hobbits who were swapping vegetables, at the Elves who just stood there and looked pretty, at the Dwarf who was mouthing "Moria! Moria!" at the humans who stared at each other, at the high-schoolers who were flying around on the broomsticks, and at the Quidditch team who still looked extremely lost and had no idea why they were there. "Well…I suppose…the Mines…"

"HA!" Gimli exclaimed.

So Aragorn, Boromir, Gandalf, Gimli, Gollum, Haldir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Sami, Katie G., Megan, Renee, Katie B., Angelina, Alicia, Fred, George, Oliver, and Harry all traipsed down the mountain on their way to Moria.

"Er," Alicia cleared her throat. "Where exactly are we?"

"Leaving Caradhras," Aragorn explained. "Going to go through the Mines of Moria now."

"Oh…"

Renee, sensing they still had no idea, spoke up. "We're in The Lord of the Rings," she told them. "Um. It's a book. And…um…well…" she looked at the other girls for help.

"See," Sami began, having a go at it, "you're not exactly…" She trailed off.

"Real," Megan supplied. "See, well…you're all characters…from books in 'our world.'"

"Yeah," Katie added. "Well, sort of. You're here, and stuff, and you're people, but…where we're really from, you're just figments of imagination."

The rest of the Fellowship/Quidditch team stared blankly.

"Um…never mind."

"Imagine what it would be like to hear that though," Sami whispered. "Creepy. Oh well…"

The four girls turned and started walking again. Gimli rushed up to the front to lead the very extended Fellowship to Moria.