Is it true that two people having sex constitute a marriage in God's eyes?
Let's look at how the ancient people in the Bible really did get married: It's true that taking a woman into a man's tent was the final act that consummated a marriage in the eyes of society, BUT let's not ignore what came before that act.
Abraham asked his trusted servant Eliezer to travel to his (Abraham's) relatives and look for a bride for his son Isaac. So he loaded camels with many costly items & gifts & left on his journey. He prayed that the Lord would show him which girl, and soon after he arrived, he met Rebecca. The Lord worked out the details & Eliezer was able to pay the bride-price and arrange the covenant of marriage for his master, Isaac. Rebecca was willing to go & marry Isaac, sight unseen. You can read the whole story in Genesis 24. The covenant was worked out & the brideprice was paid before Isaac took Rebecca into his tent.
The Hebrew word for Bridegroom is "Hatan" - which has to do with making a covenant. It is also the word for son-in-law. The Hebrew word for Bride is "Kallah," which means completion or perfection. She is what the Bridegroom needs in order for them to be a complete ONE. You cannot be a Bridegroom without making a covenant.
You cannot be a Bride without the idea of completion --two becoming One in the eyes of God & of society. Without a Covenant, there is no Marriage.
The Covenant is made after the Bridegroom selects the Bride (not vice versa) and pays the Bride-price (something of value). Today this token of value is a gold ring, but it has its origins in the paying of the bride-price. Before the Bible was written, marriage was considered a matter of bringing a woman into the home and having intercourse with her. No ceremony, no witnesses, etc. But the Jews were instructed that a woman was worth something. Her status was raised by the Lord to be something special; something far above the pagan custom. Witnesses were required and price had to be paid and a contract (ketubah) had to be signed. (Sometimes the bride was very young when this contract was made.) The bride price became the woman's dowry and was to be kept by and for her in the event of the death of her husband; she would not be left destitute.
From that time on, the couple is engaged & considered to be married, even though the marriage was not yet consummated. It is up to the Bridegroom to return to his father's house and build an apartment for his bride. It is up to the Father to set the wedding date. When the bride is mature enough for marriage & the apartment is ready, the Bridegroom returns to take his bride home with him. While the bride is sequestered away with her bridegroom, there is a wedding party of the relatives, at the Father's house, which usually lasts for 7 days, then on the 7th day, the entire wedding procession goes into the village and a wedding supper is laid out for the entire village. Everyone knows the couple is married.
It is not a secret event. It is based on a covenant before God and witnesses and the entire village is considered to be part of this compact. They are part of the extended family and are expected to share in the responsibility of building this new marriage. This is true marriage in the eyes of God. This is the way He set it up. Anything else is just paganism & fornication in the eyes of God. Sex outside of marriage is not love. It is using others to satisfy your own lust.
The whole idea of being purchased & belonging to someone is foreign to our modern thinking. However, it is a beautiful picture of Messiah and the believers. "You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." I Cor. 6:19b & 20
"...you were not redeemed with corruptible things like silver or gold; but with the precious blood of Messiah, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot." I Peter 1:18,19
Marriage is a picture of the relationship between Messiah Y'shua (Jesus Christ) and us. We believers are called His Bride, and He is the Bridegroom. He entered into a marriage contract with us. He paid the Brideprice. He paid our debt & bought us from the kingdom of darkness that we might be His pure, spotless Bride.
He gave all He had - His life. The high price He paid shows how valuable we are to Him & how much He loves us. The Father was pleased with His righteous sacrifice and raised him back to life. Y'shua (Jesus) told us that He has gone to His Father's house to prepare a place for us and will return for us. When he comes back, He will call us out of our earthly home and take us back to His Heavenly home, where we will honeymoon with the Lord for 7 years (1 week). While the Messiah and His Bride are hidden away in the Bridal chamber, the rest of the world will be in Tribulation. (see other teachings on The Tribulation) Isaiah 26:20-21 "Come my people, enter your chambers, & shut your doors behind you; Hide yourself as it were, for a little moment, until the indignation is passed. For behold, the Lord comes out of His place to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity."
At the end of that time, we will be with the Lord when He will return to earth in triumph over His enemies, and the wedding Supper will then take place on earth. His Kingdom will be set up at that time in Jerusalem & we shall reign with Him over the entire earth for 1000 years.
If we surrender to the fact that we do not belong to ourselves, because the Messiah has purchased us as a bride, then we can enter into the abundant life that He has promised to us. We give ourselves freely to Him and He gives Himself freely to us. It is remarkable to think that we can enter into an intimate relationship with the King of the Universe; a relationship as intimate as marriage, but that is what He promised.
When Y'shua (Jesus) died on the tree, He said, "It is finished!" John 19:30
(Quote)"The word that he spoke as His final thought is from the Hebrew root Ka'lal which means to complete, make perfect or finish. It is the same root of the word for bride: kallah. Could Y'shua's last words on the cross have had bridal overtones? Was His Bride His last thought as He paid the brideprice for her? We were on His heart, why not on His lips?"*
"Marriage (Nesuin) comes from the Hebrew verb "nasah" which means to lift up, to bear or to carry. The very foundation of marriage is uplifting one another, edifying and helping to bear one another's burdens. Marriage as created by God is a beautiful thing. It's your choice; to engage in True Marriage or sink back in the swamp of paganism with man-made ideas about "shacking up", which isn't marriage at all. Choose God's way - it is the path to fulfillment and true happiness.
Lura Maiman, Congregation Yeruel, Israel
*Quote from Pg. 8, The Ancient Jewish Wedding ...and the Return of Messiah for His Bride by Jamie Lash published by Jewish Jewels P.O. Box 450550, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33345