Robert's Essay on what scares him the most
Topic: Robert's Pennings
What Scares Me
Approx 512 words
By
Robert Bryce


I?m not scared of heights. Snakes, bugs, mice, are not a worry unless
of course, I find them in my pocket.

No, my greatest fear is of losing my children or my wife.

I don?t take this fear lightly. Instead, it?s a fear borne out of
experience. You see, I?m the sixth of seven children. And although I?m
only 44, I?ve already buried two of my brothers. I?ve also buried my
father. I won?t bore you with all the details, but I?ve seen more than
my share of dead people. Just a few months ago, a friend of mine whom
I?d known for 20 years dropped dead of a massive stroke.

It?s not that death itself scares me. I?ve written a lot about the
funeral business and understand pretty well the whole death process.
Now that I?m milddle aged, I?m getting accustomed to the idea that my
life is more than half over. I?m on the downhill pull. So I don?t worry
for myself, at least not much.

Instead, I worry that one of my children ? Mary, Michael, or Jacob ?
will die before their time, in an accident, or from some weird health
malady. I worry the same about my wife, Lorin.

I live in a nice house and have a nice car. I have some pretty cool
stuff- binoculars and computers and cameras and books and things. But
they are as nothing when compared to my family. It?s not that I simply
love Lorin and the kids. That love has instead become a physical thing.
Losing one of them would be like cutting out part of my heart, along
with a bit of lung and stomach and liver.

When we were in Tulsa a few weeks ago, we stopped by the cemetery on
our way back to Austin. I don?t go often, but I occasionally like to
stop there and visit the graves of my dad, and my brother Bill, who
died in 1984 in a drowning accident. Their graves are right next to
those of my Uncle Charles? family. In 1961, Charles ? who was my
father?s oldest brother ? lost his wife, Helen, and their two sons,
Steven and Paul, in an airplane accident.

My dad didn?t talk about Charles? family much. Charles later remarried
and had two more children. But when Dad did discuss it, he told how
after the airplane accident, Charles had gone crazy for a little while.

Understand that Charles ? who died a few years ago ? was one of my
favorite people. He was always the first to laugh among the aunts and
uncles. He was also the first to cry. His emotions were never buried. I
can only imagine that that characteristic was due to the tragedy ? that
losing his entire family at one time had fundamentally changed him.

I fear that were I to lose any of my children or my wife that I, too,
would ?go crazy? for a while. I only hope that if that happens, I can
recover. And maybe, just maybe, persevere like my favorite uncle did ?
and press on.

-30-

Sarah's Essay on what she's most afraid of.
Topic: Sarah's Labors
Bob the Tooth
By Sarah
I was a weird and messed up five year old, sort of like Woody Allen with his neuroses except without the glasses and a couple of teeth. I can say this with pride because I have not been five for quite some time. For some reason being five and going to school for the first time brought all the horrors of the world to the forefront of my mind. Scary things like astronauts, meteors and wrinkles were a very real part of my world. Though nothing worried me more than keeping my teeth clean.

Part of going to kindergarten, besides adding, subtracting and snack, was learning about good hygiene. So obediently my classmates and I learned about the food pyramid and about washing our hands before we ate and after we went to the bathroom. Needless to say we soon came to the subject of our teeth. Teeth were extremely important to kindergarteners. We were all beginning to lose our teeth. It was a mysterious process. One day a tooth would become loose, providing us with a relief from boredom and the ability to gross out our parents. Then it would fall out and miraculously during the night, our tooth would disappear, having been taking by a small invisible woman. She did something with your teeth, though there was a running controversy about exactly what, and left money in return. So we were all very excited to learn why exactly all these mysterious processes took place.

To help us learn about dental hygiene we watched a cutsie animated movie. The star was Bob the tooth, Bob was a very friendly tooth who showed us around the mouth. He introduced us to other types of teeth and talked about how you should always brush your teeth and eat healthy foods without too much sugar. Then Bob began to grow yellow and these little bug like things began attacking him. The deep solemn narrating voice told us that Bob had a cavity because no one had been taking care of him. After the movie I decided that I would never get a cavity and took my mint flavored floss home with a higher purpose in mind.

For a couple months after that I obsessed over sugar. I would go to the store with my mother and have her read the nutritional information off packages out loud before putting any thing in the cart. I abstained from all forms of sweets.

One of the unwritten laws of kindergarten was that everyone was invited to everyone else?s birthday party. So while making the rounds to all the birthday parties I refused all the Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cakes. I got weird looks from the kids and even weirder ones from the parents. ?It?s okay honey, your Mom won?t mind if you have a slice of cake, ?a worried mother would say. ?Oh no, it isn?t about my mother, ?I might answer, ?I?m protecting my teeth.?

I do not still have this fear of sugar; I have embraced my sweet tooth with a passion. I have to admit that I could take better care of my teeth. I brush once a day and floss only when guilt pushes me over the edge. A couple years ago I was told that I had a cavity that needed to be filled. Besides being extremely worried about having a drill put in my mouth, I thought that maybe I should go back to my sugar abstaining ways, but it was only a passing thought. I also thought about Bob the tooth, being attacked by an angry swarm of plaque, the solemn narrator, sounding like someone announcing Armageddon said, ?Bob has a cavity.?

Sarah's Movie Review of "Whale Rider"!
Topic: Sarah's Labors
Whale Rider
By Sarah

?There was no happiness when I was born,? states Pai, the main character in the movie Whale Rider, a beautiful film about the Maori people of New Zealand. The movie opens with the birth of twins to Pourourangi and his wife. Pourourangi is next in line to rule the Maori people, although he is indifferent to his role. All hope then for a new leader is pinned on the birth of his children. Sadly tragedy strikes when soon after the birth, Pourourangi?s wife and son die, leaving only Pourourangi and his infant daughter. Pourourangi, unable to cope with his grief, leaves New Zealand, but first he names his daughter Pai after Paikea the whale rider. Paikea is said to have lead the Maori to New Zealand on the backs of whales thousands of years ago.

We are then introduced to Pourourangi?s father and the chief, Koro Apirana. Koro is angered by his grandchild?s name, which he considers an insult, and the fact that she is a girl. Before the birth of his granddaughter, Koro had convinced himself that his grandchild would be a prophet, a whale rider like Paikea who would lead the Maori out of their steady decline. However her gender alone led Koro to believe that he would be the last tribal leader of his line.

As the movie moves forward, Pai is ten years old and is being raised by Koro and his wife. Koro has not accepted Pai as his heir but has grudgingly included her as part of the family. Pai is a sad, intelligent girl who is extremely interested in her culture. She desperately wants her grandfather to notice her. Pai is constantly doing things to gain Koro?s trust and love only to be admonished for messing things up. Koro?s refusal to pay her any attention is too much for Pai. On Pourourangi?s next visit Pai is decides to go back to Germany with him, though she returns without having ever left the island. When Pai comes back she finds Koro even more stiff and distant then before. In the short time that Pai was gone, Koro realizes that he is getting older, and renews his zeal to find an heir. Since Pourourangi is gone Koro decides to set up a school for the boys of the tribe; to teach them their ancient ways. Secretly Pai listens in on the lessons which consist of chants, legends and the handling of ancient weapons. Pai is caught multiple times but she keeps coming back no matter how angry Koro is. Regardless of what happens Pai is calm and defiant, convinced that this is what she is meant to do. She is determined to gain her grandfather?s respect and love.

Through Pai?s search for acceptance she becomes a role model to all; helping people of the tribe with their own problems. Pai?s enthusiasm and love for her ancient culture leads the people to embrace their Maori heritage which they had been putting aside for more twenty-first century values.

Whale Rider is an amazing movie because it is not just a story of Pai?s love for her grandfather but also the story of the needs and struggles of the entire tribe. Though Whale Rider leaves you feeling good it is not a cheesy, happy-go-lucky movie with the good guy living happily ever after. Despite the fact that the movie is part fantasy all the struggles are extremely real even when the movie dips into the imaginary.

Harper's take on the movie
Topic: Harper's Writing
Cheaper By The Dozen.
By Harper.
When I sat down to watch the movie Cheaper by the Dozen I was expecting something like the book Cheaper by the Dozen that I enjoyed reading a few years ago. I was prepared for the fact that it would be somewhat different, since it was clearly a modern version. I had even braced myself for the occasional, out of place, ditzy comments about the mall that I knew would be sprinkled in since Hillary Duff was involved. But I wasn?t prepared for what I saw.

The movie tells the story of Tom and Kate Baker and their twelve kids. The family moves from the country to the city so that Tom can take his dream job as a football coach for his old school. As the parents' attention is drawn away from their kids by their jobs, total chaos ensues at home. And chaos pretty much reigns for the rest of the film? an aspect of the movie that had me yearning for a quiet session of yoga in a soothing lavender tinted room or perhaps just a cold compress for my head.

The Baker?s hectic lifestyle wasn?t anything like the regimented Gilbreth family whose story is recounted in the book Cheaper by the Dozen. The children have completely different names, ages, genders, and personalities. The parents in the movie weren?t exactly the rotund, efficiency expert father and the industrial engineer mother that I expected from the book. In short: the movie and the book share nothing in common other than their titles and the number of children involved.

However, to be fair, I should let the movie stand on its own. After all, the film is clearly not a failed attempt at replicating the book but rather a whole new story. In its favor, the movie was entertaining for a lazy summer afternoon. The continual bedlam was comical at times. With twelve kids to work with, the scriptwriter had plenty of opportunities to create fantastical schemes and plots, many of which I enjoyed watching. But while it was amusing to watch their ridiculous antics unfold, it didn?t really pull me into the story. I wasn?t engrossed in the lives of the characters. It wasn?t one of those movies that keep floating around in your head all week. Why not? Well, here are a few of the reasons why it will never reach my favorite movies list.

My first issue with the movie is a small thing, but something that really grates on my nerves. Sprinkled throughout the movie were ?Disney moments?. You can be positive that you have correctly identified a Disney moment if it feels like it would be appropriate for Barney to walk onto the set at any moment and burst forth with his ?happy family? theme song. One such moment occurs when the Bakers found their lost child, Mark, at the train station. They all gathered around him in a circle and the camera panned around giving almost every family member a five second slot to say their own catchy phrase. Everyone expressed essentially identical sentiments; while little Mark was gone they had realized that they could never live without him. And it isn?t that I disagree with the morals of the movie. After all who can argue with love, loyalty and strong family bonds? But when presented in an overly sappy manner (twelve times over) the power of the moral is definitely lessened.

Another problem I had with the movie was its constant frantic pace. Maybe this is just a realistic impression of what a family with twelve kids would be like day to day. But, I think they purposely accentuated it. Just when I was getting involved in the story, the movie would suddenly shift to action-packed scenes with toast flying, frogs hopping, and dishes shattering. All accompanied by the latest hit pop song at high volume. But highlighting frantic action and pop music comes at a cost: namely character development. Many of the characters were shells of common stereotypes with little depth to their personalities.

My biggest issue with the movie was predictability. The surprise twists that captivate your imagination in other movies were missing in this one. There was never a suspense-filled moment in which I was on the edge of my seat nervous about what was coming. No, on the contrary, after they set the scene at the start of the movie the outline of the plot laid itself out as clearly as the lime green spots on Barney?s back. And like these spots, the movie is bright, loud, and bold with no reserves or subtleties hidden for later discovery.

Now, I don?t mean to discourage anyone from ever watching this movie. If you looking for something silly, lighthearted and comedic, Cheaper by the Dozen could be a good choice for you. Just don?t ask me to come with you? I will be busy meditating in my lavender tinted room.