DIFFICULT TO SAY...
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY...
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate

DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE...!
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

Just in case you forgot.. I'm Shadie... This is me again.

Bad Biker Pick-up Lines
Pick-up lines you might want to avoid using at the local biker bar!
1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
6. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
13. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"
17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
20. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
21. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?
22. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.
23. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
24. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
25. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
26. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
27. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
28. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
29. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

DUMB CRIMINALS STORIES

Kentucky
Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the panel off the machine, however, they pulled the bumper off the truck. Scared, they left the scene of the crime. Their bumper, along with their license plate was still attached to the ATM.

Georgia
A man went into a drug store and announced his intentions to commit robbery. He pulled a Hefty-bag over his face to conceal his identity. He did not, however, cut eyeholes in the mask and was tackled by a brave customer.

Texas
A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serving a prison sentence. He gave the court a check--a forged check. He was sentenced to ten years.

South Carolina
An angry man walked into his local police station and threw a bag of cocaine on the counter. He told the desk sergeant that it was a substandard cut and demanded that dealer he bought it form be arrested.

San Antonio
Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic found eighteen packages of marijuana packed in the engine compartment of the car. The woman, who had taken her car in for an oil change said that she did not realize he would have to lift the hood to get the job done.

Pontiac, Michigan
Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in Johns's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell out. The judge required a five minute recess so that he could gain his composure.

HILLBILLY MEDICAL TERMS

Benign ................ What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria ............... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium ................. What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section ....... A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan ................ Searching for the cat.
Cauterize .......... Made eye contact with her.
Colic ............... A sheep dog.
Coma ............... A punctuation mark.
D&C ................ Where Washington is.
Dilate ............. To live longer than your kids do.
Enema ............. Not a friend.
Fester ............ Quicker than someone else.
Fibula ............ A small lie.
G.I.Series ......... World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail ........... What you hang your coat on.
Impotent ........... Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain .......... Getting hurt at work.
Morbid .............. A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates ............ Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff ....... A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node .................... I knew it.
Outpatient .............. A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear ................ A fatherhood test.
Pelvis ................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative ........... A letter carrier.
Recovery Room .... Place to do upholstery.
Secretion ....... Hiding something.
Tablet .......... A small table to change babies on.
Seizure .......... Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.
Terminal Illness .... Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor ............... More than one.
Urine ............... Opposite of mine.
Varicose ............ Near by.
Hospital ..... ....... The biggest building in town, other than Ed's feed warehouse.

Stupid Clerk I had just gotten my debit-card. I hadn't had a chance to sign it yet and I went into the store. The girl, seeing that it wasn't signed, gave me her pen and asked if I would sign the card. I did. So she proceeds with the purchase, hands me the receipt to sign and then takes the card holds it up next to the receipt and compares the signatures… Help Help Help A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"