2. you never have a lunch that doesn’t include some kind of junk food.
3. you think you recognize yourself in a large picture of the entire ice-skating rink.
4. you decide to give your friend her own TV show on which she will ramble on about topics such as “family,” “camp,” and “movie theaters.”
5. you don’t get “Mr. Coffee.”
6. you swear your Social Studies teacher is really Professor Lockhart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. (Wow...we feel pretty damn bad for you... x.x)
7. the only thing you want out of life is a bag of Ranch Doritos.
8. you watch men’s diving in the Olympics, solely because of the fact that that hot Canadian silver-medallist, Alexandre Despatie, will be wearing a Speedo.
9. you get a ticket for speeding while wearing Hot Topic’s “Things Not to Say to a Policeman” t-shirt.
10. you want to splatter-paint your room.
11. you think that OCD is a TV show.
12. you are obsessed with your bff’s music playlist, but will not allow her to IM it to you.
13. you have a crush on your best friend’s ex, whom you only know through the Internet.
14. you put one giant never-ending inside joke on the Internet.
15. you write a 60-page-long essay for your English report...and then leave it in the printer the day it’s due.
16. you continuously pet your goth friend’s cat ears to the point where she’s ready to stab you with a rusty kitchen spork.
17. you give your sandwich a funeral after it fell on the floor from your friend hugging you in thanks for the sugar cookies.
18. you slam your hand against the sharp edge of the table in an attempt to kill a fruit fly...and the damned thing still gets away!
19. you zone out in the shower and start putting shampoo on your body, or the shower gel in your hair.
20. you draw comics of Marty the Magical Meatball.
21. you decide to write an epic poem about Sparta, the blue jay whose song destroyed the world in a poem for your English project.
22. you lick your shoe during your Science Research class.
23. you have a seriously major celebrity obsession.
24. you pour lemonade on your salad, and then proceed to sniff the plastic spork.
25. you hide lettuce in your room and call it your “secret stash.”
26. you say “letter 5” (or any other random number) or “number B” (or any other random letter).
27. you drink 10 cans of Sprite and eat 30 Jolly Ranchers in one hour or less...talk about a sugarhigh!
28. you have submitted at least 3 ideas to this Insane List website, or any of the lists on it.
29. you begin to dance and sing the Hokey Pokey during P.E.
30. you jump off your bed onto the dresser, grab a rope, and do the Tarzan phrase.
31. you believe there are no sushi restaurants in Japan.
32. you believe, and live by the fact, that a chicken is a big bag of fish guts swimming in the ocean.
33. you hate animals.
34. you jump up and down on the top of a volcano and think tomato juice is below you.
35. you paraglide into the mountains and picture a goat, meowing on the peak.
36. you watch Dragonball Z, and think that spitting on people will turn them to stone.
37. you name your deceased grandfather’s walking stick Jeff, and walk around with it, threatening to use it on everything.
38. you strap paper wings to your sister and tell her to fly off the roof.
39. you buy the Barbie van and spray paint it camouflage, then strap bottle rockets to it and watch them go off.
40. you wake up screaming, “AHHHHH!! I’M BLIND!!” then open your eyes and say, “Never mind.”
41. you set your cell phone to vibrate, stick it down your pants or shirt, and then tell your friend to call you.
42. you ride a tiny bicycle around hotels, through the halls, into people's rooms, and into the elevators, all while loudly humming the flying monkey song from the Wizard of Oz.
43. you tack a "z" onto anything and everything to make it plural.
44. you invent words and incorporate them into your vocabulary for the sole purpose of confusing people.
45. you declare "Sporx" at random intervals throughout the day.
46. you have a Nut of the Week, which you say, loudly, to people in the halls and nauseam.
47. you stand under a fan and spin around trying to see of you can track one of the blades as it spins.
48. you stand under a fan and spin around trying to race it.
49. you bite the end of white-out pens until they explode in your mouth.
50. there has been cause to call you the "Jelly Bean God," and a shrine has been erected in your honor.
51. you brush your teeth with baking soda and gargle with vinegar.
52. you can play percussion pieces on your head.
53. you have tried to eat 9 Big Macs in one sitting.
54. you try to toast butter.
55. you are more concerned with the airspeed velocity of unladed swallows than with anything else.
56. you have the ability to play the accordion with both hands tied behind your back.
57. you always greet people in Klingon.
58. you have taken a vacation to the southern hemisphere just to see if the toilet flushes the other way.
59. you attempt to get high off of fog.
60. you think the Boston Tea Party was in the White House.
61. you fear the evil muffins.
62. you have attempted to spell the letter H.
63. you sharpen pens in electric pencil sharpeners.
64. you have taken pictures of the interior of your nostrils.
65. you think a lightsaber is a toy.
66. you have put on your shoes and socks, in that order.
67. you want to invent edible duct tape.
68. you want to drive to Hawaii.
69. you have chewed the same piece of bubble gum for three years.
70. you believe your pocket has an infinite capacity.
71. you have not followed Miss Piggy's wise words of wisdom: "Never eat more than you can lift."
72. you have tried to ride a skateboard tied to the back of a sports car, which is speeding down a highway at 90 mph.
73. you have developed an unnatural fear of flying pianos and moose.
74. you have successfully milked a fresh watermelon.
75. you only buy things with pennies.
76. you have been able to train a legion of dogs to bark Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in perfect pitch.
77. you keep a chainsaw in your back pocket.
78. you have a strong belief that Mr. Rodgers is the hermit next door.
79. you own a “craptop” computer.
80. you reconfigure your computer with a brick.
81. you’ve had the need to shoot your mother with a tranquilizer gun...because she asked you to.
82. you believe that the Pu Pu platter at the Chinese restaurant is actually made of shit.
83. you have beheaded all of your sister's Barbie dolls and stripped them nude.
84. you have played "Pop Goes the Hamster" and other great microwave games, each with their own name.
85. you have been genetically altered so that you have three rectums.
86. you change your eye color every day because it’s fun.
87. you have conducted sing-along songs in Japanese, and more than one person participated.
88. you know all of the lyrics to every song in DDR.
89. you have injured yourself while playing DDR.
90. you actually bet on DDR contests.
91. you have seen Battle Royale, and now worship it.
92. you drink coffee with your pixie sticks that you bought at the vending machine.
93. you’ve eaten a lego.
94. you snort wintergreen Tic Tacs at church.
95. you dub your friends religious figures.
96. while eating dessert, more is on you than in your mouth.
97. you have tried to order a spoonful of every flavor at the ice cream parlor.
98. you have threatened to kill someone with a toothpick.
99. you have tried to ingest a marker...successfully.
100. you marry a stuffed animal named Clyde.
101. the Insane List becomes a way of life, a culture.
102. you have one or more symptoms on this list.
103. you have actually read this entire insane list.
104.you actually took us seriously!!!!