All my stuff has crank-handles,
Or runs on hamster power,
My wife's name is GoosePoop,
And she feeds me itching powder!
I live on my very own farm,
In a little town called Whores,
My dog's name is Polygon,
His wife is a horse!
This is the number on my license plate:
3 - 7 - 0 - 4 - 5 - 5 - 8
My car's name is Horehay Mobile,
It's built with flimsy steel!
I use toilet water for mouthwash,
And I have ants in my pajamas,
I use dirty HIV needles
On my dear friend Hairy Llama!
I have an affair or two a day,
With ugly little boys.
I get them high on vodka,
And I break all their toys!
I'll visit you whenever you want,
You know I won't be late!
So, if you don't really need me,
Just call my license plate!