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Chapter 51 She was haunted by the kiss of a Jedi. Even worse were the words echoing through her mind. His words. Even when Cha-Lee and Xenritha had all but turned their backs on her, Katrina did not care so much what was thought of her. For some horrible reason, she was eaten up with worry over what he thought and felt. Katrina gave up on her sewing. She couldn’t give it enough attention to do it justice and didn’t especially care. With a sigh, she leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. Depression filled her as his words strolled through her mind yet again. “I do not think I could ever love one of Palpatine’s bastards.” Her hurt and anger showed again as she shoved the fabric away. She wanted to growl and scream and throw a full-fledged tantrum. She had allowed him his space after that and gave a restrained farewell, not bothering to watch him go. Jedi Master James Chalmers hadn’t even cared. She smiled as she thought the name, the new persona. He had gone back to Tatooine intending to leave hiding and have a life again. Katrina was devastated that she was so hurt that his plans so blatantly did not include her. But why should they? Why should he? He could change his name, way of thinking, and entire life, but he was still Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader. He had held her as a newborn and witnessed her lowest moments in childhood. He had showed her rare kindnesses but never love or true affection. She would always be a little girl to him and always one of Palpatine’s offspring. Something was wrong with her-it had to be. She shouldn’t feel so torn and rejected. She had known him as Vader and watched him as Anakin. She had seen every second of his time at Endor many times. She had watched him cling to his mother and vent his rage on unsuspecting Sandpeople. She had envied his love for a beautiful senator and the confusion of the light and dark pulling on him. She had come to know him as well as anyone could and that only made her feel worse. “I do not think I could ever love one of Palpatine’s bastards.” Katrina sighed helplessly, sending a silent prayer to deaf ears. “One day you may change your mind. Even if you don’t, not loving us does not mean we cannot love you.” |
