the poetry of matt

THE POETRY OF MATT
(fiction)

homesick angel
nothing to state but the obvious
streetlight poet
I wish I wasn't like you (but I am)
I'm
playing house
stolen
taunting the devil
talking to u on msn
wounded heart
let her go
gigolo's ballad
fake person
disconnected
I don't know what to write
taking the chance
the precept
perfection
the things I do for you
a bunch of haikus I wrote one day before work
stranded

homesick angel

I don't know why, but I can't even fly
I seem out of place, it's like I'm from outer space
I'm another stranger, always living in danger
I don't want to roam, I just want to go home

It's happened again, I'm let down by friends
They're only there when the weather is fair
I'm stuck outside with nowhere to hide
And I'm all alone, dammit, I just want to go home!

nothing to state but the obvious

Why does everything I say have some kind of obscene meaning?
It seems no matter what I say, it always sounds demeaning
I only stand up for my feelings and for what I think is right
Why must every conversation turn into a fight?

Every word of mine, it seems I must explain to you
It's like I'm talking in a foreign tongue no matter what I do
We go around in circles, and you can't comprehend
Why I can't stand the silly things I know are just pretend

streetlight poet

writing songs in the night
by the soft street light
who knows where I'll be tomorrow?

I wish I weren't here
drowning in tears
there's money I wish I could borrow...

it's cold in the street
but my words are sweet
but still I have nothing gained

I sit outside
nowhere to abide
my heart is truly pained

I'm sad and I cry
as people walk by

I need someone there
but nobody cares

I just have the thief
who bringeth me grief

and I need someone there, I need someone there

I wish I wasn't like you (but I am)

I thought I wasn't the same
as your kind
I didn't want the shame
but it's mine
I hate all the things you do
oh, damn
I wish I wasn't like you
but I am

I'm

I'm the fox that steals your hens
I'm the killer that comes in the night
I'm the piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit
I'm the thing that just doesn't seem right

I'm the criminal that might be a god
I'm the ghost that whitens your hair
I'm the angel that haunts your dreams
I'm the thing that you wish wasn't there

playing house

you don't see things the way I do
when you're older you'll understand
from my point of view you're playing games
your love is just pretend
you break your heart because you give it away
at the promise of romance
and you disregard the ones who love you
whom you never gave a chance

stolen

so I guess now we're even
I was right from the start
I disappointed you
and you broke my heart
she's everyone's dream
every man's desire
there's no one like her
but money can buy her
she said that she loved me
and I thought it was true
now I see that she lied
'cause she's fallen for you

taunting the devil

(so) I smile on your misfortune
I laugh when you get raped
because everything you've brought upon yourself
you've not escaped

talking to u on msn

you sit there waiting when you call
I don't say anything at all
you talk to me and I just stare
through the eyes of a cat with hitler's hair

It's not you
I tell no lies
It's just talking I despise
It's your words
I want to see
Your intellect envelops me

your words appear upon the screen
it's like an effervescent dream
and even though you beg me to
I won't talk just listen to you

I crave to hear what's on your mind
refusing to respond in kind
your words are like my favourite drug
better than the warmest hug

wounded heart

wherever you go, whatever you do
there will always be someone to terrorize you
whatever you do to dull the pain
it fails to keep you from going insane
losing control as you try to attend
to a wounded heart that refuses to mend
and an agony that refuses to end

let her go

let her go
there's nothing I can do
we had love
but it wasn't meant to be true
someone else
has made her feel fear
cannot stand
refuse to shed a tear

let her go
was not supposed to last
it's her fear
it's him who holds her fast
it's his strength
she cannot resist
he feels good
she cuts her wrist

let her go
it doesn't work this way
can't look back
just have to walk away
it's their world
and I can't have a part
walk away
even though it breaks my heart

gigolo's ballad

captivate me with your eyes
and lead me by the hand
put me in your sacred spell
only instinct can understand
wrap yourself around me, girl
hold me close and tight
don't stop till you're satisfied
if you have to go all night
i'll kiss you, i'll embrace you
don't let me go to sleep
until you're finished and collapse
on me in a sweaty heap

fake person

What is this difference I feel?
What is it that makes me not seem real?
What makes my life so apart from theirs?
I feel the cold electronic stares

Why is it I seem exempt
From the kind of cold marauding contempt
That everyone seems to have to endure
And deal with things that aren't so pure?

Whatever it is that sets me apart
Whatever I'm hiding inside of my heart
Burns me up from the inside out
And consumes everything, it never goes out

Why can't the fire within be contagious?
I feel so alien, it's so outrageous
No one around me understands
So I cover my face with weeping hands

disconnected

smoking cigarettes rolled by hand
wishing that I could start a band
and also that she were in my bed
not crying or hurting but laughing instead
I suppose there's nothing that I can do
when she's being molested by you-know-who
one day I think that things will change
and then my feelings will have full range
but for now I sit here alone
I don't even have a phone
to call her and tell her I love her
and that I long to be her lover

I don't know what to write

I don't know what to write
Something musn't be right
(God I'm an ugly sight)
I don't know what to write

THE END

taking the chance

With her little knowing of who I am
I hung on her mailbox some strawberry jam
Hoping that it might turn out to be
Something that'd draw her attention to me
For we had been meeting a few times before
Up until now, I thought her a whore
But recently I've considered that she
Might be someone desiring me
And not someone who'd drop her pants
For anything that chanced to pass

So I think, this time, I'll give it a chance

Maybe she'll fall in love, we'll see
Perhaps her dad will beat the shit out of me
Maybe she already has a man
Perhaps she's fucking Peter Pan
Maybe she'll turn out to be soft-hearted
Or perhaps she thinks that I'm retarded
I suppose that time will only tell
Time is up. See you in hell.

the precept

what makes me so naive
so easy to deceive
that precept that everyone sees
the world the same as me

I can't comprehend
why I tried so hard to pretend
that everyone could relate
I just overcompensate

it's not easy to define
what views are yours and which are mine
I'm tired of playing the fool
I'm sick of being your tool

perfection

symmetry
is so hard to achieve
beauty
takes one to believe
I just don't have the time
I just don't have the skill
to make something to kill
someday I'll make something worthwhile
till then
I'll settle for mediocrity for awhile

art (art blew a fart)
art blew the goddamn place apart
but mine just does nothing
one cannot be rushing
yet I do

avril lavigne is seventeen
what more can you expect
why you gotta be so mean?
she still deserves respect

the things I do for you

never mind the pizza
I eat it all the time
and the watch I got for you
was going to be mine
the ring I'm buying for you
I could give away
to some other lucky girl
who'd be my fianceé
you say that I'm too nice
but I'm just living my days
the things I do for you
I'd be doing anyways

a bunch of haikus I wrote one day before work

working at the keg
pay's not great but hey, it's fun
cooking and all that

my girlfriend leighanne
she likes to play with my head
I just laugh at her

hamster republic
my life has never been the same
making crappy games

music is my life
and wonderful crescendos
paint the sky lovely

my wounded heart cries
the words like drops of blood fall
onto the paper

I don't have a song
there are no words in my heart
nothing on my lips

my pen is like an
ancient sword swinging at dragons
slaying the darkness

stranded

here I am, standing at that place
it's all too familiar now
that lonely, cold and empty space
I'm laughing but I don't know how
I've been here so many times
so many times before
I'm locked away by peoples' crimes
in a cell without a door
I'm trying to make things different
but I can't see the end
it seems I just keep coming back
to this same old shit again

LINKS Castle Paradox Hamster Republic Zantetsuken Livejournal Final Fantasy Compendium The Keg The Church of Satan Guitar.com Dictionary.com

no_shot@hotmail.com