First, I would like to say Chris that that is a very intelligent and valid question. Well you see, when a Smurf is choked, it always turns the same color. Before I tell you the answer to your query, I would like to tell you that you can easily find the answer to this yourself if you are doubtful of my broad knowledge. To find the answer, you could choke Murphy and there you go. However, because I know you are too lazy to do that, I will tell you that when a Smurf is choked, they don't turn a color. Instead, their heads explode almost immediately after they become short of air. I would not advise you to try this though because let me tell you, it is extremely messy. When I tried it I was covered in Smurf brains for weeks and that was not fun. If you do try this, the best remedy for Smurf brains is a shower….maybe I should have tried that.

    -Dickey

PS. Choking a Smurf is a federal offense….but it's damn funny.

    First of all Chris, calm down and take a couple deep breaths.  Ok, now we are ready to begin.  Ok your question, or should I say series of questions, are quite extensive and I don’t really feel like thinking at the moment.  Therefore, I will answer as if I know the question.  I personally believe that nomadic groups and such are more beneficial to lifestyle.  And, although it may not be as glamorous and advanced as some would like it, it eliminates virtually all depression and conformity.  Sure, there will still be a leader and somewhat of a legal system, but it will be more of a personal, solitary society.  I think that if life is simplified, everything else is simplified with it.  True, conformity can never be eliminated but I think it will be reduced this way.  However, there is one problem with this type of lifestyle; greed.  There will always be greedy, power-hungry people that will want to conform others to their opinion.  They will stop at nothing for total control.  It is these types of people that ruined every possible society in some way, and will continue to do so.

 -The Dickster

 Well Jay, Dewey is ignorant because of his extreme lack of intelligence.  You see, it all started when he was purposely dropped on his head as a child by his parents.  They were hoping that if he was bad enough they wouldn’t have to take care of him and boy did that backfire.  Also, others would accidentally drop him when they were asked to hold him as a child.  When they first looked at him and saw how incredibly hideous he was, they would run away in fear.  So you see Jay, it is not Dewey’s fault he’s ignorant.  Give him some pity, everyone else does.

 -The Dickster

Yes Erin I will marry you

-The Dickster

 I write a lot of my lyrics just based on what I notice about people around me.  It’s a lot about everyone’s ignorance to their flaws.  Although it may seem like I think I’m perfect (which I know I am not) but sometimes its frustrating how much people differ from myself.  But I like this method because it’s something everyone can relate to.  Also, the lyrics are a lot about how I have changed from maybe a year or two ago (which is a lot) or how maybe I want to change.  In that way, some of the lyrics are a lot about my imperfections as well.  When we write songs, I usually make a bunch of lyrics and Joe comes up with a guitar part.  From there I usually try to match my lyrics with his song.  Although this is kind of a secluded and primitive way to write, it works (well sorta).

  -The Dickster

You see Dan, there is a perfect explanation for your query.  It all began in 1971.  It was the year of free love and a message of peace was being spread throughout the land.  However, Vietnam brought widespread opposition.  Particularly, a group called the Black Panthers became angered because the "white man" was sending black men to die on the front.  Therefore, they began to revolt against everything the "white man" did.  Up until that point, you would drive in driveways and park in parkways.  However, the Black Panthers believed that only the "white man" would follow that law.  From that point on, the Black Panthers would drive in parkways and park in driveways.  However, when the Panthers would stop in the middle of the street they would always get in accidents.  In the same way, when they tried driving in their parkways, they would always drive into their houses.  So they decided to change the names.  The place where you park will be called a driveway and the place you drive will be called a parkway.  This way they were not obeying the "white man" and they didn't get in accidents.  Even though everyone laughed at them, eventually everyone decided to accept this crazy belief as they did not want a racist war to break out.  Even though it was stupid, the "white man" did not want to upset the minorities.

-The Dickster

Ally I regret to inform you that im already married to erin...therefore i cannot legally marry you. Now i could cheat on erin but not only would that be ruthless and cold hearted but it would be too easy. If you really want to we could move to Utah where we would become Mormins and I could be allowed to hold more than one wife. However, i must warn you...Utah is pretty boring

-The Dickster