in the dark


So much to say in the dark.

There is something inherently truth-telling
about the dark,
a quality which pulls secret thoughts
to the edge of the lips
and asks you to share them.
When I try to sleep, insomnia real
and vivid keeps me awake,
my mind bursting with cares and
troubles;
my college is too expensive, my bank
will cancel my account, my parents
are fraudulent role models, I am an
inherently dysfunctional child, I will
never be normal, or happy, or out
of the U.S., I am not pretty, life
did not allow me enough chances…
It’s not altruistic, just thoughts of me,
occasionally of other people
in conjunction with me.
When faced with a new situation, or
the overwhelming sorrows of others,
that is a time I’m persuaded to
think of others besides myself.
But it’s easier to have a pity party
when you don’t have to look around
and see how tangibly lucky you are.
That’s how it is for me, anyway.
The dark finds my selfish laments
and egoistic jeremiads
spilled into the uppermost train of thought.
It’s very easy to fall into depression
when all your thinking is done at night.
Sweet as melancholia may be,
though, I think I’d rather be asleep.
The examined life, if it is to be worth living,
must be examined mainly in day and lamp-lit hours.


Issue 25:
intro
negative Space
metaphory
Philosophy Sucks
Quotes
in the dark
waking up
Feel the love. Or else.

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