life so rad


the weezer song "undone (the sweater song)" is currently playing over my headset. it speaks in that nice noncommittal way about everything that's going on. it was probably so popular because it puts its finger on a feeling shared by a lot of people, 'specially us youngins' without a lot of direction but with at least rudimentary social skills.

well let's see, what's going on lately... more of the same bullski. i have a friend who is realizing the extent of the lack of empathy people have for her. it's kind of mean that we didn't tell her before what a cow she was being, but there wasn't a desire to make waves. yeah, it's time to stop putting up with stuff--but we've got to start telling the truth too.

i read some of my poetry from issue 14 aloud at a coffeehouse open mike night on campus last week. it got a pretty good reaction, even though half the audience couldn't hear me (i'm so quiet). i didn't get much feedback because i left immediately after i read to make it to another event, but my spies overheard flattering commentary, so i'm satisfied, i guess.

the thing about family that gets me sometimes is the lack of support i've had in academic endeavors from certain people. i made it to college on my own, and with the help of a few angelic benefactors, have made it this far in my career on my own labor and merit. i have one lousy semester to go--one stupid semester--and the situation is getting sticky again, so i asked aid from the family at last. some are willing to go and give me what i need, but some belabour me for not taking the all-expense-paid educations i had awaiting me all over my home state as a result of governor's school. i'm sorry, but i think my current choice is definitely worth every penny; and i think an education elsewhere would have afforded me less understanding of the world. besides, this is probably the nicest place i will ever live, especially if i end up the typical writer hacking it in some big city or at home clattering the keyboard trying to earn a dollar. maybe i'm not the best investment, as i won't increase in value, but i will make sufficient returns. besides, i'm a part of the family, and if you don't help out your relatives, there isn't much chance you'll help out the rest of the world anyway. i try to practice altruism, my dearest value, and i would hope that other people, such as christians, would stick to the tenents of their religion. forgiveness is difficult for my family too; i notice a trend here that saddens me and gives me grief every time i think about people whose names are taboo, dead children, and my own ongoing battle against depression in the face of tuition.

gee whiz. sometimes i just want to be as brainless as those kids going to the party in the background of weezer's song.


Issue 29:
Intro
Quotes
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