"And be on they guard against the good and the just! They would fain crucify those who devise their own virtue -- they hate the lonesome ones."
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"Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter."
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"There are no facts, only interpretations."
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"The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude."
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Dante: "A hyena that wrote poetry in tombs."
Friedrich Nietzsche
"Once, when I was a child, on a distant school excursion, when I had got separated from the others--although I may have dreamt it--I found myself, under the sultry sun of midday, in a drowsy little town, so drowsy that when a man who had been dozing on a bench beneath a bright white-washed wall at last got up to help me find my way, his blue shadow on the wall did not immediately follow him."
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"Is there in the so-called order of so-called things of which your so-called world consists of even one thing that might be considered an assurance that you will keep a promise?"
Vladimir Nabokov, Invitation To A Beheading
"Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them."
Richard Strauss
The Gospel According to Brian:
"Blowing always helps."
in references to NES cartridges
"If you ever give your balls to anyone, give them to me."
looking at my broken mouse and asking for pieces
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of things that may escape those who dream by night."
Edgar Allen Poe
"If thers too things i can't not stand is peopel hoo use doble negitevs and can't spel."
Anonymous
"Hi, my name is Jason. Mrs. Jewels is the nicest and the best teacher ever. Mrs. Gorf was the meanest teacher ever. But now she's dead."
from webpage about Sacher's Sideways Stories from Wayside School
"The government... doesn't allow people... to abuse their children... horribly."
Weatherman
"A human body was perhaps perfunctorily consulted in the making of this statue."
Eve's test paper criticism of early Greek art
"Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey."
The Beatles
'Nia: Hey Seth, where's Jonathan?
Seth: I don't know.
Eve: Heh. 'Am I my roommate's keeper?'
'Nia: I am my roommate's keeper!
Eve: 'Do not feed the Lauren!'
(laughter)
Jeremy: Yeah, Lauren, AKA BEAST!
"Hello, Babies! Welcome to earth! It's round and wet and cold. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. There's only one rule I can think of .... Babies, godammit, you've got to be kind!"
Kurt Vonnegut
"$100 placed @ 7% interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000 - by which time it will be worth nothing."
Lazarus Long
"A free man is by necessity insecure; a thinking man by necessity uncertain."
Eric Fromm
"Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though."
Douglas Adams
A lass was a wee bit confused:
Her emails were never perused,
Or if so, no replies
Came to light up her eyes:
Her inbox was content-refused.
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I'm amused that I'm always so sour.
And sometimes folks ask why I'm dour.
There's an increase, you see,
In my misanthropy,
And it jumps up a notch every hour.
Eve's plan file limericks
I like tape.
Tape is great.
Tape helps me
Procrastinate.
Eve's plan file couplet
Richard: "i have seen enough gay french pornos to spot a french algerian in ANY country, and this guy is definitely it."
www.blairmag.com
"CURSES FALL UPON THEE, O MALIGNANT UNYIELDING COMPUTER CENTER!
Thou hast torn me away from a rocking Cowboy Mouth concert so that I may sit and absorb silence with mine own ears instead of screaming until I am hoarse and going deaf at yea an early age. O Fortuna, thou hast dealt me an ugly hand, and I always have been of the opinion that a peculiar and unpleasant odor hangs about thee."
Eve's lamentation
"oh, interestingly, mike also told me i reminded him of gertrude stein yesterday b/c i have cool friends. apparently gertrude was down with all the cool people of her time: picasso, hemmingway, etc... eve, you can be picasso if you like. hmm. the rest of you can be hemmingway cos i can't remember who else she was friends with."
m'shelle
"Haven't you heard of plan files? It's this whole subculture here at Rhodes you're missing out on. There are all these people who are best friends [online] who've never met [in person]."
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"See-ment."
(As opposed to 'cement'.)
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"Argh! Y'all've got me sayin' room [normal pronunciation] instead of ruh'm! Ruh'm ruh'm ruh'm ruh'm ruh'm!!!"
Brad, imported from New Orleans
[Reviewing a book:] "After rereading, I am apprehensive lest I have not sufficiently underlined the book's virtues. It contains some very civilized expressions: for example, a certain argument in the nineteenth chapter in which one feels a presentiment that one of the antagonists is a friend of Al-Mu'tasim when he will not refute the sophisms of his opponent 'so as not to be right in a triumphal fashion.'"
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"There is no intellectual exercise which is not ultimately useless."
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"Don Quixote," Menard once told me, "was above all an agreeable book; now it is an occasion for patriotic toasts, grammatical arrogance and obscene deluxe editions. Glory is an incomprehension, and perhaps the worst."
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"He reasons that the rancor of a man so minutely vile is worthy of special eulogy."
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"In the beginning, the faint trace of a smile or a word...."
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"To my mind the previous idea [of an all-powerful being] is not very stimulating. I will not say the same of this one: of the conjecture that the Almighty is also in search of Someone...."
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"From my weaknesses I drew strength that never left me."
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"May heaven exist, though my place be in hell."
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"Then I reflected that all things happen, happen to one, precisely now. Century follows century, and things happen only in the present. There are countless men in the air, on land and at sea, and all that really happens happens to me."
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"That history should have imitated history was already sufficiently marvelous; that history should imitate literature is inconceivable...."
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"My dreams are like your vigils."
-
"This delay [a stay of execution]... was due to a desire on the part of the authorities to act slowly and impersonally, in the manner of plants or vegetables."
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"He did not work for posterity, nor even for God, of whose literary preferences he possessed scant knowledge."
Jorge Luis Borges, Ficciones
"Screw the rumor mill, we gonna be a thang, baby, a thang, and there ain't nuthin that's gonna keep us from bein happy."
Eve
Jeannette: so, how does one turn brain off?
Eve: there's a switch, you can't reach it without a plumber's friend, duct tape, a voodoo doll, a pair of knickers, and a prairie dog, and even then only if you're dead....
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Jeannette: (makes self-depreciating comments)
Eve: i point at the screen and laugh in your general direction. people giving me strange looks >:) i am their master, they cannot touch me, i am above their petty laws of silence and good taste after 11pm.
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Jeannette: silly human weaknesses.
Eve: yeah, can't live with em, can't escape em without expensive AI implants.
"I am Superman, and I know what's happening
I am Superman, and I can do anything."
REM
My friend, my friend,
I am very very sick.
Even I do not know where this sickness is coming from...
Sergei Esenin
"When fascism comes to this country, it won't be wearing jackboots; it'll be wearing sneakers with lights in them, and it'll have a smiley face and a Michael Jordan t-shirt."
George Carlin
"Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts."
Percy Shelley
"You can present the material, but you can't make me care."
Calvin and Hobbes
"He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise."
Oscar Wilde
"Even if there is no God, recognizing that we have the choice to be happy can empower a person and make them existentially responsible. Free will is a pragmatic provision for happiness in a world that, ruled by gods or not, owes us nothing."
Eve's best bit o philosopical writing since a Boethius/Machiavelli paper
"De tierra soy y con palabras canto."
Pablo Neruda
"I would love to be in a relationship but first I just want some sex."
Aisha
"It's days like these that make you want to kick around some leaves."
'Nia
"How wrong Emily Dickinson was. Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers turned out to be my nephew. We must take him to a specialist in Zurich."
Woody Allen
"The world was made before the English language, and seemingly upon a different design."
Robert Louis Stevenson
"Friendship for the sake of usefulness seems to arise mostly between men with contrary needs... and we might bring in under this the lover and his beloved... And it is in view of this that lovers sometimes appear ridiculous when they demand to be loved as they themselves love; if indeed they are just as lovable,
perhaps their claim is reasonable, but if they are not such at all, it is ridiculous."
Aristotle
"There are things in a man's life it's best to forget. There are dark places which should be left dark."
"The Garden of Allah"
"Your understandings may be rough,
and your pretensions vanity,
But underneath there's firmer stuff
your egotism is vast enough
To comprehend humanity."
Piet Hein
"Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take you down to the zoo and feed you to the yak."
"Breakfast at Tiffany's"
"Well, I figure it could hurt real bad for 5 days and then be gone... or it could hurt every time I step on it...."
Jonathan's boy-logic for cutting something off his foot
"Choice of attention -- to pay attention to this and ignore that -- is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences, whatever
they may be."
W.H. Audex, A Certain World
"Yesterday I loved, today I suffer, tomorrow I die; but still I think fondly, today and tomorrow, of yesterday."
G.E. Lessing
"Men are not liars all, for some are dead."
Bartle Quinker
YANKEE, n.
In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMNYANK.)
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HUMANITY, n.
The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.
Ambrose Bierce
"Mongo only pawn in game of life."
"Blazing Saddles"
"It is impossible for men to know each other well until 'they have consumed together much salt.'"
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"For men are good in one way, bad in many."
Aristotle
"I realized that night that the hall light, which seemed so bright when you turned it on, is nothing compared to the dawn, which is nothing when compared to the light that seeps from you while you're sleeping."
Ani Difranco
The Addams Family: on Girl Scout cookies
"Are they made from real Girl Scouts?"
Addams Family Values: re the nanny's puppet
(puppet) "I am Satan. I will clean my room - in exchange for your immortal soul."
"Wednesday Addams"
Tall Chick: I've never been out with a boy before!
Long Duck Dong: Me either!
"Sixteen Candles"
"She's singing the 'I need to be SPAID' song!"
Eve on Poe the in-heat cat
"There are two kinds of people: Those who consider the rubber band an office supply and those who consider it a weapon."
Liz Royster's plan file
CK'S Quotes:
On Tupac: "He went to bed naked?"
"Yesterday, Kalman was a hermaphrodite."
'Nia
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"You sound just like a Macintosh computer."
Brad to Eve
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Susan: "I think the professors just figured out I was faking for the last 2 1/2 years."
Brad: "Oh, you mean on papers!...."
"Like applying the laws of thermodynamics to society."
Trout
"All feminism, all the time!"
Jennifer S.
"I'd like to congratulate paradigm for being the coolest word I've heard yet today."
Sleepy Eve in philosophy of science class
I am trying to console one of my guy friends whose little teenage heart has been broken. ARRRGHH. Girls are too manipulative and play too many games, even if they're trying to be straightforward. And guys don't care, and if they do it's usually about the wrong person OR you can't tell. Oh well. My friend has threatened to ask out the new gay kid in his town, and I'm on the verge of telling him to go for it. This system of boy/girl interaction provides neither the satisfaction it promises nor the happiness we crave. But what else can we do?
Eve's anti-relationship plan file
"I am talented, but even I can't impregnate you over the net."
Kith-kanen
Mystery Guy: "From the moment that you say hello, until the moment that you say goodbye everything between a guy and a girl is nothing but a game."
Moni: "But what if he truly seems sincere?"
Mystery Guy: "Those are the ones with the best game, and you will get got."
I used to be able to write beautiful poems and prose when i needed to feel good or just needed to express myself. These days, I feel trapped. I can't express my thoughts anymore. I don't know why, and I want to apologize for not being what I used to, whether it be innocent or crazy or expressive. I have no answers and it bothers me. It bothers you. Somehow we have to be able to figure out if we like the past or the present, the quiet or the expressive, what you want and what I want. This is the only way that anything can come out of life and our relationship. Forgive me for not being able express myself anymore. Thank you.
Tracy Pearson's plan file
Kalman: "Of all dog breeds I hate Dachshunds the most. Every time you show them the slightest affection, they roll over, expose their bellies, and pee everywhere."
Musician: "Yeah. (reflective pause) I had a wife like that."