How Cold is It ?

An annotated thermometer

• 60
  • Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)
• 50
  • Miami residents turn on the heat
• 40
  • You can see your breath
  • Californians shiver uncontrollably
  • Minnesotans go swimming
• 35
  • Italian cars don't start
• 32
  • Water freezes
• 30
  • You plan your vacation to Australia
  • Minnesotans put on T-shirts
  • Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
  • British cars don't start
  • Your boogers freeze
• 25
  • Boston water freezes
  • Californians weep pitiably
  • Minnesotans eat ice cream
  • Canadians go swimming
• 20
  • You can hear your breath
  • Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
  • New York City water freezes
  • Miami residents plan vacation further South
• 15
  • French cars don't start
  • You plan a vacation in Mexico
  • Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
• 10
  • Too cold to ski
  • You need jumper cables to get the car going
• 5
  • You plan your vacation in Houston
  • American cars don't start
• 0
  • Alaskans put on T-shirts
  • Too cold to skate
• -10
  • German cars don't start
  • Eyes freeze shut when you blink
• -15
  • You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
  • Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
  • Miami residents cease to exist
• -20
  • Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
  • Politicians actually do something about the homeless
  • Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
  • Japanese cars don't start
• -25
  • Too cold to think
  • You need jumper cables to get the driver going
• -30
  • You plan a two week hot bath
  • The Mighty Monongahela freezes
  • Swedish cars don't start
• -40
  • Californians disappear
  • Minnesotans button top button
  • Canadians put on sweaters
  • Your car helps you plan your trip South
• -50
  • Congressional hot air freeze
  • Alaskans close the bathroom window
• -80
  • Hell freezes over

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