It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years
of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same
neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route
he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly
congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific
fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful
woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently
led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led
him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with
the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a
giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles,
and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she
poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he
noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom
edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he
said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband
that today would be your last day, and that we should do something
special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck
him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."