10.SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking cigarettes while masturbating
could cause personal injury. Recommend taking a class to adequately
prepare for such a task.
9. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Don't take this fine print too seriously;
the feds make us print it.
8. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: 100% pure tax.
7. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: No matter how hard you try, you'll
never look as cool as Bogart.
6. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: This cigarette mascot has phallic
facial features.
5. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking during pregnancy can cause
your baby to look like Herve Villacheze.
4. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: If you actually wear the free clothing
you get from collecting multiple empty cigarette packs, you will
look like a moron.
3. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined
that cigarette smoking may cause women to look like cheap, sleazy
sluts.
2. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Keith Richards is a fluke.
1. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined that smoking can cause you to lead a pathetic existence sitting in a smelly designated smoking area at your job, freezing your cajones off in the middle of winter.