Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife
to his success. - Jim Backus
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David
Bissonette
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
- Noel Coward, 1956
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep
the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to
let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
- Lisa Hoffman
She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her
before she finds one. - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting
Harpo's fiancee
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter
stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat
in Europe. - Jackie Mason
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate
to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that
is a good thing for any man. - Socrates
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. -
Lana Turner
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
- Mae West
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring,
and suffering.
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ...
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage,
the 'Y' becomes silent.
Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only
marry someone that you cannot live without.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with
me.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.