"Why Do Fools Fall in Love…?"
This is a story written by both me and my little sister, which we came up with while having dinner.
-Authors: Michelle Min-Yin and Melissa Wai-Yin (Pika) Chu
Rating: This fic is not yet rated.
Disclaimer: NEITHER of us created Pokemon, as it is VERY plain and easy to see!! WHO in their right mind would think we DID?!? I'm not even getting paid for this! oh yeah, Hotwheels are copyright of...um...Hotwheels. I mean Tyco.^^;;
Feedback: WHY OH WHY do I keep forgetting this in my eagerness to write?!?! PLEASE!! Help save Michi's memory! Kasumikewl@hotmail.com
Guide for Reading:
*everything action*
(thought)
"spoken"
[side note…or message box that pops up]
::whisper::
Chapter 1: The Meeting
*Giovanni is seated at the head of a long table in a fancy Italian restaurant. He waits patiently, looking at his watch.*
Giovanni: "Where ARE they?? I will be most upset if they are late…"
*He looks around to see if anybody is watching. Seeing no one in the private room, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out…
…his favorite Hotwheels car.*
Giovanni: "Vrooom! Vrrrrroooom!"
*He takes the car and runs it along the side of the dinner table. He lets it go and runs to the other end to catch it.*
Giovanni: "YES! Ten-point-Oh!!"
*He looks around. Again, there is no sign of anybody. He does it again.*
Giovanni: "VRROOOOM!!!"
*All of a sudden, the door opens.*
Rocket: "Hi, Boss! We're her--"
*Giovanni hurriedly covers his car with his body.*
Giovanni: *yelling:* "WHAT?? DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO KNOCK??!?"
Rocket: "Ummm…no sir…"
Giovanni: "WELL, YOU SHOULD KNOW TO DO IT!! *ahem* What did you see?"
Rocket: *hurriedly and nervously:* "Ummm, nothing sir! I did not see you playing with your cars again, sir!"
Giovanni: "Good." *thinks for a while* "Wait a minute… You're fired!"
Rocket: "But sir…I brought you a pokédoll!! It's a…Persian!"
*The unfortunate Rocket member quickly takes out a stuffed Persian pokédoll. Giovanni snatches it from him and looks at it. He looks over it, and considers it carefully.
He then takes out a black briefcase, which, upon opening, reveals a large collection of Hotwheels cars, various toys, and many cute pokédolls. He places it next to a Meowth, then closes the briefcase, carefully locking it.*
Giovanni: "Very well. You're hired back. But if you dare tell a soul…"
Rocket: "Yes sir! I mean, no sir! I mean, thank you, sir! I mean…"
Giovanni: "Yes, yes, I get the point. Call the rest of them in."
Rocket: "Yes sir! Right away, sir!"
*The Rocket bows and exits, but not before bowing many times. Giovanni sighs and puts the small toy back into his pocket.
Just then, the door opens, and many groups of Team Rocket members file in. They all are either chatting or arguing, then they take a seat at the large dining table.
Their pokémon sit at a smaller "kids" table.*
*Jessie, James, and Meowth enter along with the rest. They take a seat. Meowth sits himself at the "kids" table, tying on a napkin around his neck. Also at the "kids" table is Persian, wearing a "Meow Mix" bib.*
Meowth: "Grr…stupid Poisian…"
*Meowth glares at the Persian, which glares back.*
Meowth: "Hmph!" *He readjusts his bib.* "At least I can talk!"
*A waiter comes by, and sets down large plates of pokéfood. In front of Meowth and Persian is a silver platter filled with expensive cream.*
*Meowth glares at Persian. Persian glares back. Meowth then takes advantage of the situation and steals some of Persian's cream.*
*Jessie is seated next to James. Giovanni sees them and smiles.*
Giovanni: "Ah, so nice of you two to join us. I am also awaiting one more Team."
Scratchy voice: "Come on, Cassidy! The meeting's in here!"
Giovanni: "And by the sound of it, here they come now…"
*Butch and Cassidy walk in and look around. They go right to their boss, bowing in greeting.*
Giovanni: "Welcome, the both of you. Please, take a seat."
*Giovanni motions towards Jessie and James.*
Giovanni: "Ah, and I'd like to introduce you two to Jessie and James." *message box:* [Giovanni is a tad forgetful…-_-"]
All four of them growling: "We've met."
Butch: (ooh! They have punch!)
*Raticate takes a seat at the "kiddie" table where Meowth and Persian are threatening each other by clawing at the air towards the other's direction. A plate full of hot, steaming Poképellets with CHEESE!(tm) is placed in front of Raticate. Raticate eats greedily before many Rattatta enter.*
*Other Rocket members enter and take a seat. They order their food. Most eat ravenously. Working for Team Rocket makes you quite famished^^.*
Everyone except for Giovanni:(This is a nice change from canned food.)
*James eats and eats and eats, non-stop. Next to him is a kiddie-cup full of Coke.*
*Jessie sips from a wineglass full of fruit punch, eating a large pasta buffet.*
*Butch gulps down glasses of punch.*
Butch: (YAY!! I got my punch!! ^^v!)
*Cassidy looks at him strangely.*
Cassidy: (Now there's a guy who likes his punch.)
*No one notices Giovanni eating mainly from a Kid's Meal aside from his other sophisticated dishes. And no one notices the spaghetti sauce smeared all around his mouth. He quickly wipes it away, pretending to cough.*
*After everyone finishes, Giovanni stands up.*
Giovanni: "Now, everyone knows why I called you all here this evening, am I not correct?"
*Everyone nods, for their mouths are still full of dessert.*
*James is getting a brain freeze from his ice cream. Jessie looks at him and sweatdrops.*
Jessie: (This explains a lot…)
*Butch drinks punch with his cake.*
Giovanni: "Now, if everyone is done, to discuss the first matter on our list…Raises."
*Everyone perks up.*
Giovanni: "I will begin, in no particular order at all [not very organized, is he? Well, besides his toys…] to read off the teams that will be receiving salary raises and the reason I have decided to do so." *ahem*
*clears his throat*
*He reads a bunch of unknown people we don't care about anyway off the list and their salary raises*
[blah blah blah…]
Giovanni: (My, this is boring)
Butch and Cassidy: (we're gonna get a raise! Hopefully…)
Butch: (mm! This is good punch!)
James: (Do dee do dee do…when is this gonna be over?)
Jessie: (I think I should have ordered the cheesecake…)
*A Rocket member falls face-forward in his Jell-o because he is too bored.* [SPLAT!]
Giovanni: (Oh good, I'm almost done)
Giovanni: "…And Jessie and James, for the destruction of my gym. I have received a tidy little sum of ¥2,000,000,000 [2 trillion yen, or approximately $2 million American] from the insurance company. For this favor they have done me, they shall receive ¥25,000 raise." [25 thousand yen, or approximately $250 American]
*Jessie and James perk up at the mention of the money.*
Jessie: "WHOO HOO! YEAH! WE HIT THE JACKPOT!"
James: "WHOO! ALL ABOARD THE GRAVY TRAIN!!"
Both: "WE DID IT!!"
*Everybody else sweatdrops because, in reality, that's not that big a raise…* [but considering how much they got before…]
Butch: (oooh, I think I may have had a tad too much punch…)
Giovanni: *ahem* "Well, moving on, now it's time for the easiest part of my job *smiles*…the pay cuts."
*Giovanni grins evilly. Everybody else groans while Jessie and James are still celebrating.*
Giovanni: *chuckling to self* (Heh heh heh… the cuts are used to pay the raises, so I get ALL the money!)
*laughs out loud* "BWA HA HA HA HA!!"
*Everybody looks at Giovanni, quite scared. Giovanni realizes he is laughing out loud and self-consciously clears his throat.*
Giovanni: (Hmmm…what would I do with even MORE money..? I know! I'll buy myself some new toys!) [. . . ^_^;;;;]
Giovanni: "Well now, here are the cuts…"
*Giovanni reads off some more people we don't care much about…*
*He chuckles at his own ingenuity at saving so much money at the expenses of others.*
[IOU: One Conscience. -Yours Truly, God.]
*Some more people fall into their jell-o, pie, or cake…* [SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!]
*Some do it from boredom, others from devastation at how much their already-meager salary was cut…* [WHAT?? YOU CUT 5 YEN FROM MY SALARY? NOOOO!!!]
Jessie and James: (HA! WE'RE RICH!! WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LOSING MONEY!!)
J&J: (Nah nah nah nah nah!! *akanbe** -;^)
*akanbe- this is a face made by pulling down your lower eyelid. Sometimes, the sticking out of a tongue is involved.
Butch & Cassidy: (HEY!! How come those screw-ups got a raise and we didn't??)
Butch: (Man, now I KNOW I had too much punch…)
*Meanwhile, at the "kiddie" table…*
*Meowth flings some catfood while Persian isn't paying attention…*
*Persian perks up, and looks around angrily, growling a warning at Meowth.*
*Meowth looks away and whistles innocently.*
Meowth: *in a mock-concerned voice* "Poisian! Why ya got food all ova yaself! Howeva in da woild didja do dat??"
Persian: "Grrrrrr…."
Meowth: *snickering to self* (Ha ha! Take dat Poisian! *akanbe* ^;-)
*Back to "grown-ups" table…*
Giovanni: (Whew! Finally done!) *He looks at the clock…* (When is this thing over?!?)
Butch: (Why oh why did I have so much punch??)
*Butch looks at a decorative waterfall-type fountain in the corner of the room. He bites his lip nervously. Sweat starts to run down his face.*
*Many are in tears now…some from joy [Jessie and James: still celebrating] some from their devastating pay cuts [My precious, precious 5 yen!!] some from boredom [Rocket member: "Someone just shoot me now, please!!"] and some from waking up and finding their faces in food.*
Giovanni: *in monotone* "Now…for…the final…thing…for this meeting." *He exhales deeply* (YAY!! This meeting's going to be over soon!)
*There are shouts of joy all around.*
Giovanni: "I'd like you to meet someone who wants to buy one of you for an amount."
*All members get worried and start to look at each other, wondering who will be sold.*
*Some member's faces are in Jell-O again…*[SPLAT!]
*Jessie and James are still rejoicing, except now they are in their chairs.*
Butch: (I…need to go…to the…BATHROOM!!!)
Cassidy: *looking at Butch* (Why is he wiggling like that? Did he eat too much cake?)
Giovanni: "And here's our client…"
* * * * * * *
And Now, for a word from our sponsors!
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Now, back to our show!
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 2: Jessiebelle, that's right!!!
Giovanni: "…Jessiebelle!"
*Jessiebelle steps out, and at the same time, James screams, Jessie faints, TR members jump, and Butch tears out of the room, screaming...*
Butch: *running out of the room* "I HAD TOO MUCH PUNCH!!"
*Butch collides with several waiters on his way out. He grabs one by the collar and shakes him.*
Butch: "QUICK!! WHICH WAY TO THE BATHROOM???"
*The scared waiter quickly points behind him. Butch drops the waiter and runs off.*
Waiter: O.o??
Jessiebelle: "Why, what a rude introduction! I sure feel welcome now…" *She eyes James and throws her arms around him* "James, I've come back for you! I told you you'll never escape me!!! *She then proceeds to push Jessie off her seat and sit there.* *SHOVE!*
Jessie: (Hmph! That hussy! I'll show her!) *She pushes the person next to Jessiebelle out of their seat and sits there* *SHOVE!*
*The person pushes off the person next to Jessie, and it continues all the way around the table[SHOVE! SHOVE! SHOVE! SHOVE! SHOVE! SHOVE!], until it reaches the person next to Giovanni.*
*The person tries to push Giovanni out of his seat.* [SHOV--]
Giovanni: "What the- You're fired!"
*The member suddenly realizes, [!_!] then walks away with head hanging down.[;_;]*
Giovanni: "Well, *ahem* back to business now…"*He looks around and sees that the entire seating has been rearranged. He shrugs and thinks,* (Oh well…) *He motions towards Jessiebelle.* "This here is a prospective client of ours. And she's willing to pay ANY price for James."
Jessiebelle: "Why of course, anything for mah dahling Jamesy!"
*Jessiebelle wraps her arms around James, who struggles to get away. He is rather unsuccessful.*
Jessie: (OOOhhhh, that hussy!!) *Jessie's eyebrow begins to twitch and veins pop out all over her forehead, also with a couple small beads of sweat.*
James: (What did I ever do to deserve this???)
Jessiebelle: "Just name yah price, sir!"
*She then turns her attentions towards James.*
"Why, James mah sweet, you STILL don't eat yah spaghetti properly!"
*She takes out a napkin and wipes his face for him. James squirms to no avail.*
Giovanni: (Name my price? Better start higher than I want…) "4 billion yen."
Jessiebelle: "What? Mere pocket change? Done!"
James: "NONONONONONO DON'T DO IT!!"
Jessie: "You can't sell off people!"
Giovanni: "Of course I can. It's in your contract. Read the fine print."
*He takes out their contracts and a magnifying glass. He places the magnifying glass over the border, which appears to be made up of many, many little dots. He then takes out ANOTHER magnifying glass, and places it over the first one. The letters are now readable.*
Fine print: '…the employer is also granted the permission to sell, bet, donate, trade, sell the soul, or any other measures for profit, to get out of debt, or just for fun of the signer of this contract. This contract is legal and binding. There are no loopholes. I repeat, there are no loopholes…'
Giovanni: "ALWAYS read the fine print…*booming evil laugh* BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!"
[IOU one conscience -Yours Truly, God]
James: "HOW COULD ANYONE read THAT?!? Not even Superman! Well, maybe Superman…"
Giovanni: "ANYONE could read it if they had two Magnifiers2000(tm)!!
Now, back to the matter at hand…Jessiebelle, I can't sell James for just some pocket change…
…40 billion yen."
Jessiebelle: "What a trifling amount! Sold!"
Giovanni: "Well, now…James is a VERY VALUABLE member of our Team…
…400 billion yen."
Jessiebelle: "Easily done! Mah father owns 15 diamond mines, and three empires. Mah mother owns oil companies."
Giovanni: (O.O!!! $_$!!! ¥_¥!!! Cha-ching!!! All this money JUST for James *scoff* who just takes up space most of the time…)
*ahem*
"Now Jessiebelle, James…*sigh* is like a son to me!"
*James looks at Giovanni in shock.*
Giovanni: "Yes, yes, it's true! He's like the son I never knew." *emotional sniffle* "And what kind of father would I be…
…if I sold him to you at such a trifling amount??"
James: "I WANT TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF FATHER WOULD SELL HIS SON!!"
Giovanni: "Quiet, 'Son'… *ahem* And you see, Jessiebelle, I would miss him TERRIBLY, so…
…700 billion yen."
Jessiebelle: "Done! Oh James, we'll have so many many years of married bliss together!"
Giovanni: "Wha-…? You want to marry HIM? Oh well, I don't care WHAT you plan to do with him…"*He gives her a strange look.*
"But Jessiebelle, his Teammates will miss him EVER so much!! Especially Jessie and Meowth."
*Meowth can be seen running around in the background, being chased by Persian.*
Giovanni: "Now, I could NEVER EVER forgive myself if I were to break their little hearts."
*Jessie and James laugh out loud, trying to cover their mouths and stifle their laughter. If Butch had been there, he would have spit punch out of his mouth laughing. But, he wasn't…*
*Giovanni glares at them to quiet them. They attempt to stop laughing, but they are laughing so hard tears are coming out of the corners of their eyes.*
Giovanni: *ahem*
*glare*
"Well, as I was saying, since they will be so emotionally traumatized by the leaving of their best best friend…
…3 trillion yen."
Jessiebelle: "No amount's too large, for once I marry James, our two empires will combine! And he'll be heir to his parents' trillions of yen*!!"
*trillions of yen- millions in American dollars
Giovanni: "Wh-wh-wh-wha-?!?!" (James is RICH?!?! $_$!!! O.O!! ¥_¥!!! CHA-CHING!!)
"No! I changed my mind! You can't have him! James is NOT for sale!!"
*Jessie and James simultaneously breathe a sigh of relief.*
James: "WHOO-HOO!!!"
*Jessiebelle pouts and puckers her forehead.*
Jessiebelle: "Well, then you leave me no choice…
…I WANT TO JOIN TEAM ROCKET!!"
Rockets: O.O!!!!
Giovanni: O.O!!!!!
Jessie: O.O!!!!!!!!!!
James: !!!!!!!!!O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
*James screams and faints and falls face forward in his dessert.* [!!SPLAT!!!]
*Butch comes back, with a big happy, relieved grin. He takes his seat.*
Butch: "So, what did I miss?"
* * * * * * * * *
The previous chapter was brought to you by:
Magnifier2000! Always keep one around the house! Bring it to business meetings! Keep two to read the fine print on your company's legal documents!! This way, you won't get sold to your unwanted and ridiculously rich fiancees! Oh yes, and your soul won't get sold, either! BUY YOURS TODAY!! * fine print*
*this fine print can only be viewed by Magnifiers2000. Batteries not included. Magnifiers may cause brain, eye, or other organ damage. Magnifier2000 is not Y2k compliant. To be used for no other uses than the intended use.*
and by:
PUNCH!!!! It's what's with dinner!!! And breakfast...and lunch!! YES!!! PUNCH FOR LUNCH!!!! Have a cup...and have some fun!!!! ^_~ DRINK PUNCH!!!!! It's GOOD for you!!
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter3: Three's Company, too….
*Everyone is staying at a hotel for the night, since Giovanni is paying…*
Rockets: (YES!! A NICE SOFT BED FOR ONCE!!)
*Jessiebelle has chosen her team…Jessie and James, of course. Giovanni has agreed that they can be a trio.*
Giovanni: (They'll be forced to change their motto now…YES!! THANK GOD!!!)
*Now, they face one small problem…they have 3 people and a Meowth…
…and only two beds in the room.*
*Jessiebelle has one of James's arms, Jessie has his other arm. They tug him back and forth with each word.*
Jessiebelle: "Since we're gonna be married, James might as well share the bed with me!" *YANK!*
Jessie: (Oh no you don't, you hussy! I know what you have planned in that mind of yours!)
"Oh no, Jessiebelle…you want to be able to wear a WHITE wedding dress, don't you?" *YANK!*
Jessiebelle: "Oh but Jessie dear, we all know I'M supposed to be his one and only!" *YANK!*
Jessie: "Well, we both know a woman of YOUR high standards would want a bed all to herself!" *YANK!*
Jessiebelle: "But Jessie dear…we both know a woman like you NEEDS a bed all ta herself!" *YANK!*
Jessie: "Oh Jessiebelle, we all know that you shouldn't be sharing a bed in YOUR condition…why, you deserve the very best!" *YANK!*
*James is getting rather dizzy from this tug of war…* [@_@]
James: "STOP!! THE BOTH OF YOU!!" [>.<!!!!]
*Both stop and look at him.* [O.o?]
James: "DON'T I GET ANY SAY IN THIS??"
Both: "NO!!!!"
*They go back to pulling James back and forth.*
Meowth: "Ehhh…humans….I'll neva understand dem…" [-_-"]
*In the end, Meowth is sleeping in an armchair….
…..Jessiebelle is in a bed all alone….
… Jessie is also in a bed all alone…
…and James is by himself on the floor.*
James: "At least they have a carpet…."
~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~
*The next day, Ash and the group are walking along, when suddenly…*
Voice: "Prepare for Trouble!"
Ash: "That Voice!"
Misty: "Oh no, not THEM again..."
The overwhelmingly too-cute Togepi: "Togee! Togee!"
Other voice: "And make it double!
Southern-accented voice: "Make it triple, ya mean, James mah sweet!"
*Ash, Brock, and Misty look up with confusion…* [O.o? o.O?]
All Three: "Huh…?"
Brock: ?_?
Misty: O.o?
Ash: O.O?
Pikachu: (o !_! o)
Togepi: *happily clapping hands* "Breeee!!! Togeee! Togee!! Pliiiii!! Togepli!!"
Jessie: "To protect the world from devastation!"
James: "To unite all peoples within our nation!"
Jessiebelle: "To make all pokémon a proper sensation!"
*Jessie and James sweatdrop… -_- ;;;; *
Jessie: *ahem* "To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
James: "To extend our reach to the stars above!"
Jessiebelle: "To make the world refine as a Dove!" *Jessiebelle then latches onto James's arm.*
Jessie: (Grrr! Who does she think she is???) "Uh…Jessie!" *Jessie struggles to push Jessiebelle off James's arm.*
James: "James! Whoah! WHOA!" *Poor, unfortunate James is caught in the middle of a cat fight.*
Jessiebelle: "Jessie…belle!" *Jessiebelle is trying to push Jessie away, and Jessie is clawing at Jessiebelle*
Jessie: "Team…Rocket…blast…off…at…the speed…of light!"
James: "Surrender…now…or…OW!!!!!…prepare…prepare to…to…FIGHT!!!"
Jessiebelle: "Jessiebelle! That's right!" *shoves Jessie*
Meowth: "Hey…dat's my line! Give it back! Take dat and dat!" *Meowth slashes Jessiebelle's face, leaving glowing red marks*
Jessiebelle: "What? How dare you, you mangy fleabag! I'll show you!" *Jessiebelle grabs Meowth and he is caught in the fight.*
James: "Stop it! Stop! You're making the balloon tilt!" *The balloon tips over and they fall to the ground as one giant cloud of dust.* […BAM! POW! CLOBBER! YANK!] [@_@…..@#$%&*%@$#%$*%$#$@&%$$@**!!!!!!!!!!!]
*Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu sweatdrop*
*Togepi claps and laughs.*
Togepi: "Breeee! Toge-toge breeeeee!"
*The giant cloud of dust starts to move toward them*
*They back away, but get caught in the fight*
"Whoa-"
"Yah-"
"Nyo-"
"Pi-"
"Pli-"
*And the fight continues…*
Misty: "Take that!"
Brock: "Ow…I hit my head…OUCH! Who did that?"
Ash: "Sorry, that was me…YOWCH! GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY HAIR!!! OWIE OWIE OWIES!"
Jessiebelle: "Why, take that you fiend! Vileplume, Go!"
James: "Ow! Who pinched my behind???" [Who looks guilty? ^_~ heh heh heh ^_~] "Weezing, Victreebel, GO!"
Pikachu: "PI-KA-"
Ash: "PIKACHU!! NO!!"
Pikachu: "CHUUUUUUU!!!!!!"
*Everybody gets electrocuted…
They all drop to the ground, black and burnt.O_O*
Ash:*moaning* "Pikachuu…"
[Blink blink]
*And they resume fighting*
Jessiebelle: "Why, you fiend! I'll show you!"
Ash: "GYAH! MY EAR! OH YEAH?????!!!!! TAKE THAT AND THAT!!!!"
Misty: "What did you do that for??? HI-YAH!"
Jessie: "I'll show you, you….rodent! Go, Arbok, Lickitung!"
James: "OW! OWCH! OUCH! Take my Rocket Punch, you little brat!"
Butch: "Did somebody say punch????"
*Butch appears with Cassidy in a cloud of smoke*
Cassidy: "To infect the world with devastation!"
Butch: "Umm….I really don't think we should be here…."
*Butch and Cassidy get engulfed in the cloud of dust*
Butch and Cassidy: "OH NO!!!!!!!"
*They are all fighting now, and Pikachu is zapping them repeatedly. Togepi, however, escaped somehow and is clapping loudly*
Togepi: "Breeeee!!! Toge-toge Breeeee!!!!!! Bliiiii!!!!!"
*the cloud of dust steadily moves and moves until they are at the edge of a cliff*
[Where'd the cliff come from?]
*they roll off, and everyone is wide-eyed*
Everyone: O_O!!!!!! *meep!* A
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*GASP!*
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*GASP!*
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*THUD*
*At the bottom of the ravine, there is a large mess. Upon closer inspection, it is, in reality, a bundle of pokémon, Rockets, and brats.
And upon every single face of what used-to-be-conscious, there are large bumps, bruises, and swirly eyes. @_@*
*That is, every single face except that of one certain yellow egg pokémon.*
Togepi: "Bliiiiii!!!!!!"
*This little pokémon claps and laughs loudly as it watches from above.*
*Soon, as they regain consciousness, do they concern themselves about each other's well being?
Actually what is heard is:*
Ash: "Urf-I feel sick."
James: *groan*
Jessie: "My…my face…."
Jessiebelle: "This….position…..isn't proper…."
Brock: "I….landed on my…head….ugh…"
Misty: "Where's TOGEPI??????"
Pikachu: "Pi….CHYAAAAAAA!!"
Lickitung: "Licki…tung!"
Arbok: "Char….bok…..aaa!"
Victreebel: "Bel….*SHOOMP!!!* *Victreebel engulfs James's head*
James: "Bad…pokémon! Ugh!"
Butch: "I'm glad I didn't drink any punch…"
Cassidy: "I'm glad we didn't eat…but I still don't feel so well…"
Weezing: "Weeeee……"
Jessie: "That was worse than a rollercoaster…"
Everyone: "Uh…"
*Then, they suffer a relapse and collapse once more.*
*And to make everyone feel worse, James in particular, Togepi falls off the cliff and onto James's head*
James: "Ouch!" *He whimpers.*
Misty: "Togepi!"
~*~*~* ~*~ *~*~*~
"Why Do Fools Fall in Love...?" was brought to you by:
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* *~*~*~*~* *
Chapter 4: The Psycho Nurse Joy
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>[Author's Note: The Psycho Nurse Joy is created by me (Kasumikewl, aka Michelle Pika-Chu) if you would like to borrow her, please ask first, and I will happily say YES!! Feel free to worship her, though....at The Most Unholy Church of the Psycho Nurse Joy!!!]
~ *~ *~
*Everyone is at the Pokémon Center, being attended to.*
*Brock talks to Nurse Joy, but seems to have lost the power of speech*
Brock: "H-h-h-hi….I-I-I-I- I- uh….I-I- I-…I uh…I uh…I- I I'm I'm…"
*Nurse Joy ignores him*
Butch: "AAAHHH!! Not THAT!!! Anything but THAT!!!"
Cassidy: "It's just a little shot, Butch."
Butch: "LITTLE?!? You call THAT thing LITTLE?!?"
Nurse Joy: "Would you rather I use the baby-size shot?"
Butch: "YES!!"
*Nurse Joy pulls out a HUGE needle the size of a mallet.*
Butch: *Takes one look at it and….* "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" *faints dead away*
Nurse Joy: "Perfect! Now I don't need to inject the tranquilizers!"
*She puts away a tranquilizer gun.*
Cassidy: "Ummm...er….wh-what d-do I h-have to get?"
Nurse Joy: "Oh, nothing too serious… just a Band-Aid or two…"
Cassidy: *sighs with relief*
[Brock has gotten out "hi" and "I'm" so far! Let's see if he made it as far as his name!]
Brock: "I-I uh I'm uh…I'm uh….I'm uhhhh….I forget….I mean….I'm uh….I-I-I'm uh…I'm…"
[Almost there, but not quite. *sigh* so close, yet so far away…]
Nurse Joy: *still ignoring Brock* "Oh yes, you also need to have your wounds cleaned….
…with THIS!!"
*She proudly presents a giant bottle labeled 'POISON! HIGHLY TOXIC BURNING ACID!' complete with a skull and crossbones. *
Cassidy: "AAAAAHHHHH!!!! *faints dead away*
Nurse Joy: "Well, that's two down!"
*She smiles happily*
*Everyone else *SWEATDROPS**
*Except for Brock, that is…*
Brock: "B-b-Brock…m-m-m-m-m-…"
[Let's change him to fast forward mode!]
Brock:"HimynameisBrockandI'matyourservicebecauseyour'reverybeautifulandIthinkyouaresobeautifulandIthinkI'minlovewithyouand…"
[Whoa! Too fast!! @.@]
*Yet Nurse Joy continues to ignore the poor lovesick puppy.*
Nurse Joy: "Now, it's your turn, young man!"
Ash: "Ummm…aren't you supposed to be a Pokémon nurse, not a human one….?"
Nurse Joy: "Hmmm…the thought had never occurred to me before…"
*She puts down the needle she was holding.*
*Ash sighs with relief.*
Brock: [back to normal now…that is, normal for Brock around a pretty girl] "She's so beautiful it doesn't matter!"
Nurse Joy: "HEY! WHAT'S THAT?!?" *points behind the group*
Everyone: "HUH?!? WHAT?? WHERE??"
*Nurse Joy injects the huge needle into Ash's arm.*
Ash: *girly and high pitched* AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! [Everyone covers their ears] *He faints dead away*
James: "And I thought *I* sounded like a girl…."
*Nurse Joy looks at the crumpled body of Ash on the floor. She nudges him with her foot.*
Nurse Joy: "My diagnosis is…he's out cold!! YES!! Another score for me!!"
*Everybody starts to back out of the door…except for Brock.*
Brock: "She's beautiful…"
Everybody: "ARE YOU KIDDING?!? She's PSYCHO!!! SHE'S CRAZY! SHE'S INSANE!!"
Brock: "…beautiful…"
Pikachu: "Pika pika pika! CHU!!!!" *Pikachu zaps Brock, trying to get him out of the trance*
Nurse Joy: "OOOH! A Pikachu!! Are YOU hurt??"
Pikachu: "Pi!" *runs and hides behind Ash*
*Of course, since Ash has fainted, he can't protect him.*
Pikachu: "Pikapi!"
*Nurse Joy turns to Brock*
Nurse Joy: "Well, young man…"
Brock: "I-I-I'd GLADLY date you!"
*Nurse Joy blinks twice.*
Nurse Joy: "What's that on your arm???"
Brock: "Where??" *He looks at his arm*
Nurse Joy: "Why, right THERE!" *injects the needle*
Brock: "SHE actually touched *ME*!!!" *faints dead away*
Nurse Joy: "Maybe I should diagnose his head…"
"Oh well, that's another one down! Four to go!"
Everybody left: "AAAHHHHHHH!!!" *They try to run away*
Jessiebelle: "Listen, you!! I demand a real doctor right now!!"
Nurse Joy: "But of course. I understand completely! There's one right there!!" *points behind Jessiebelle*
Jessiebelle: "What?"
*Jessiebelle turns around*
*Nurse Joy injects needle into Jessiebelle's arm*
Jessiebelle: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
*All glass in the center shatters and cracks*
*Jessiebelle falls face flat on the floor, arms twitching*
Nurse Joy: "Oh dear. Now I'll have to order all the glass replaced… again."
*The remaining three try to sneak away, dragging the bodies of Brock, Butch, Cassidy, and Ash.*
Nurse Joy: "Where are you going?!?"
*They all freeze and stop.*
James: "Ummm…nowhere?"
Nurse Joy: "There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a little surgery for you…"
Misty: "I'm fine! See? Never felt better in my entire life!"
Nurse Joy: "Just a little surgery…"
*Nurse Joy pulls out a giant CHAINSAW and revs it up.*
Everyone: "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
*Nurse Joy takes chainsaw and uses it to open a can.*
*Everybody sighs with relief.*
Nurse Joy: "I could NEVER get these cans open!"
Misty: "Ummm…have you ever tried a can-opener…?"
Nurse Joy: "Why I've never thought of that!"
Jessie: "Ummm…what's inside that can, anyway…?"
Nurse Joy: "Oh, nothing big. Just… highlyvolatileburningsulfuricacid."
Everybody: "AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
James: "Does she have a license??"
Nurse Joy: "Why, of course I do! A license to kill…umm, I mean, cure! Yeah, cure!!"
James: "AAAAHHHH!!!" *He leaps into Jessie's arms."
Jessie: "I think we'll just be…um….going now!!!"
*Everyone left runs out of the door, Nurse Joy close on their heels.*
James: "Wow…I didn't think….she….could run…that fast…in that nurse's uniform!!"
Jessie: "Just shut up and RUN!!"
Meowth: "You forgot Meowth again!!!" *He runs after them*
Misty: "AH!" *she trips and falls, on top of Pikachu*
Nurse Joy: "I got you now!! Beddy-bye time!!" *She injects her and Pikachu with a needle.*
Pikachu: "Piiiiiiiiiiii…" *He falls asleep*
Misty: "How…come…I…feeel…so…sleeepyyy…make a break for it, Toge-" *THUD!*
*Misty collapses upon the floor…and begins snoring loudly.*
Togepi: "Toge Toge Togepi!"
*Togepi laughs and claps loudly.*
James: "It's every Rocket for himself!!"
*Jessie raises her arm to smack James, but concentrates on running as fast as she can instead.*
Meowth: "Help! I can't run wit dese big feet!"
*Togepi trips him and he falls.*
Meowth: "Wlaaahh!"
Nurse Joy: "Aww, would the kitty like to take a cat nap?"
*She injects him with the needle.*
Meowth: "WAAAHH!! I HATE SHOTS I HATE SH-" *SNOOOOORE*
*Snores loudly and is forming bubbles with where his nose would be….that is, if he had one…*
James: "She's almost catching up to us!"
Jessie: "Quick! Into this room!"
*They run into the boiler room and slam the door behind them.*
Jessie: "It's so…dark…"
[Hmmm…Jessie and James, alone, in a dark room….]
James: "HELP! HELP! I'm afraid of the dark!"
*Jessie claps her gloved hand onto his mouth.*
Jessie: *whispering* ::QUIET! Do you want to get caught??::
James: ::mrmph…::
*They hear Joy's footsteps outside, and freeze.*
*Scary, echoey footsteps effect.*
Nurse Joy: "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"
*The footsteps get closer…*
Nurse Joy: "I just want to make you feel all better!"
*…and closer…*
Nurse Joy: "You can run, but you can't hiiiiiide…"
*…and closer still...*
*Jessie and James's heartbeats get louder and louder with every approaching footstep.*
Both: (Can she hear us???)
James: ::I can't take it anymore…::
Jessie: ::Quiet, James…::
*They both have bandannas wrapped around their heads and knotted under their noses.*
James: ::Jessie…?::
Jessie: ::Yes…?::
James: ::I need to tell you something…::
Jessie: ::What is it…?::
James: ::But…but…I can't tell you!::
Jessie: ::James, you can tell me anything…:: *She smiles encouragingly.*
James: ::Well, normally, I'd never say this, but now…now…::
Jessie: ::Yes, what is it…?::
James: *looking away and blushing* ::I think I…I think I….Jessie, I…::
Jessie: *encouragingly* ::Go on…::
James: ::I-I-I think I may…::
Jessie: ::Tell me, James…::
James: ::I Think I may have had too much punch …::
Jessie: (>.<!!!!) "THAT'S WHAT you have to TELL ME?!?"
*She suddenly realized she screamed it, and claps her hand over her mouth.*
*The approaching footsteps are still getting louder, and much faster now…*
*The door slowly swings open, creaking upon its hinges, and it's...
~*~*~*~*~
Time for a commercial break! Don't touch that mouse!
Are you psychotic? Did you like running around with scissors and/or giant needles when you were a child? Do you have a giant malpractice suit? Is your handwriting LEGIBLE??
If so, then, come on down to the Most Unholy Church of the Psycho Nurse Joy!! Our congregation is steadily growing!! Here, at our services, you will worship our great Megamisama, the Psycho Goddess herself!! Come and be enlightened in the Paths of Insanity. May the Chanseys with Chainsaws (tm of Sforzie) bless you and um....help you cut, er... paths....yes, that's it.... in the wilderness of Sanity.
And now back to our show.
~*~*~*~*~
it's...
…JIGGLYPUFF!!*
Jessie and James: !!!!!O.O!!!!!!!!!!
Jigglypuff: "Jigglypuff puff! PUFF!"
*They both try to grab the round pink balloon pokémon and shut it up…
…but fail miserably.*
Jessie: *hissing* ::COME BACK HERE, YOU!::
James: "I got it!"
*James lunges for it, but Jigglypuff jumps up and he misses…
…colliding into Jessie.*
Both: "WHOOOOAAAHHH!!!"
*They slip on the newly waxed floor [Who would wax a boiler room floor? O.o] and fall, off the catwalk…
…into a giant vat of plaster.*
Both: "AAAAAAAHHHHH!!"
*SPLASH!!!!*
~*~*~*~*~*~
*Jessie and James are in hospitals beds, still covered with plaster.*
Jessie: "Well, at least it's over…"
James: "For now…"
Jessie: "YEAH! A little plaster can't stop Team Rocket!"
James: *shakily* "But A LOT of plaster CAN!!…"
Jessie: "We need a plan…"
James: "Yes…I quite agree…"*collapses*
Jigglypuff: "Jiggly puff puff!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~NEXT CHAPTER: Plan A, Plan B, Plan J, Plan Z… ~ COMING SOON TO A COMPUTER NEAR YOU!!~
Chapter 5: Plan A, Plan B, Plan J, Plan Z...
~~~*~~*~*~*~~*~~~
*Nurse Joy walks from bed to bed, tending to its occupant.*
Psycho Joy: "Come on everyone! It's Laundry Day!"
*All in unison*: "Laundry Day??"
Psycho Joy: "Oh yes! You need to change your unmentionables, don't you?"
*Ash blushes as the familiar phrase rears its embarassing head.*
Brock: "I'd gladly strip for you!"
*Everyone sweatdrops*
Misty: "Bu-but..."
Ash: "I don't have any other clothes! I only have two outfits!"
Misty: "Exactly!"
Psycho Joy: "Tsk, tsk, tsk..." *thinks hard*
*A lightbulb goes off over her head.*[DING!]
Psycho Joy: "I KNOW! If you don't wish to remove your clothes, then I'll simply put YOU in the washing machine!! .^_^.!"
Everyone screams: "AAAAAAAHHH!!NONONONO!!"
*Nurse Joy has Pikachu under one arm, grabbing Ash with the other.*
Ash: "PUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWN!!"
Psycho Joy: "If you insist!"
*In one smooth movement, she nonchalantly tosses Ash and Pika across the room. Ash hits the wall and Pika bounces off him [OOF!] and onto the pile of laundry.*
Ash *whilst sliding down the wall*: "OOoooowwwww..."
Psycho Joy: "So, what's it gonna be? The clothes in the washing machine or you?"
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Brock: "Now THAT is disgusting, Ash!"
Ash:"What? I had *no choice*!!"
*Ash is revealed to be sitting on the couch, naked....well, other than his pika underwear...* [WAHOO! Graphic nudity! Wait... This is Ash...aww, darnit]
Music plays: Shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake!
Misty: "Where is that music coming from?"
Music: Shake your booty!
Brock: *singing along* Shake your booty!
Psycho Joy: "Oh! I must've left the radio on when I went to wash the clothes! ... Let me change the station."
Music: Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah!
Ash: That music just makes me want to get up and DANCE!
*All shudder at once.*
*In their own little corner...*
Jessie: "Alright, we need a plan. We've decided that. Let's analyze our situation."
James: "Well... Jessiebelle wanted to buy me, but she joined our team instead, because the Boss wanted both her money and mine, once he found out about it. We were on our first mission when a fight broke out, and Butch and Cassidy appeared, making it worse, so we all landed at the bottom of a cliff. From there, we went to this Pokécenter where we were assaulted by a Nurse Joy who was different from the rest by the fact that she was psychotic. She hunted us down, and we were safe until Jigglypuff found us and we fell into a vat of plaster. That brings us up to the present, with several dilemmas to solve."
Jessie: "Great recapping for the audience. Now what are we supposed to do?"
James: "Well..."
Jessie: "What's the main thing, first?"
http://angelfire.com/md/MousseShampoo/index.html