All right, all right! I know everybody's been yelling at me to write the

next chapter of "Why Do Fools Fall in Love...?" But I've got a looong way to

go.... so, in the meantime, I started a new fic!! This'll tide ya over for a

while...although this means I have TWO fics to work on.... -_-;;;

Well, enjoy!

"Jesse James, Priwate Eye: The Case of the Missing Partner"

by Michelle M. (Pika) Chu

Date: March 2, 2000

Disclaimer: (to the tune of "Camptown Ladies")

This is my Disclaimer Song, doo-dah, doo-dah

I don't own Pokémon, oh a doo-dah day!

Created not by me,

But by Tajiri!

Nintendo, I did nothing wrong, oh ah doo-dah day!!

Disclaimer Songs © Kasumikewl (a.k.a. Michi)

~*~*~*~*~*~

It's a treacherous city out there. Don't be fooled by the calm appearance,

for danger lurks around every corner. How do I know? Because Danger's my

middle name. Legally so. Also, it's my job.

My name is James Danger Rocket. And I'm a Private Eye . At least, that's

what it says on my door. Actually, it looks like it says "Priwate Eye"

because the day I was painting it, I had a very bad cold. That's why I ran

out of room and didn't have the space to paint "and". So it reads, "Jesse

James, Priwate Eye".

Jesse's my partner. We've been together about some ten-odd years, close to

twenty. She's a mighty fine dame, she is. And, we're almost always together.

That's why I felt so odd this morning when I woke up... and she was GONE.

Gone! As in kaput, disappeared, making like a tree, see ya later alligator.

No ransom note, no memo saying she went shopping, no breakfast remains on

the table, nada.

I woke up Meowth quickly. He's our associate, you see. He sleeps in the den.

It took a little while, but 5 minutes and five scratches later, he was up

and ready to go.

"Now what is it ya hadta wake me for?" He demanded of me.

"MEOWTH!! Jesse's GONE!!!" I informed him, tryin' to keep my cool.

"Whaddya mean, "gone"?"

"SHE'S GONE!!! *GONE* "gone"!!! OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!?!?" You'd

have to dig preeettty deep beneath my calm exterior to see how worried I

actually was. I always managed to keep cool in a situation like this.

Imagine my surprise when Meowth scratched me, as Jesse would do. Well, she

wouldn't scratch, but... "Getta holda yaself!!" He commanded.

I held my wounded cheek in pain. I guess I wasn't as good at hiding my

emotions as I thought. But then again, he was Meowth and he always saw right

through me. I just bravely my lip and nodded. *sniff sniff*

"Now, tell Meowth what happened."

"Well, I woke up this morning, and I rolled over...and Jesse just wasn't

there! Oh, Meowth, what are we gonna do?!?" I explained.

"What's dis "we" business? You're da hero, ain'tchya?"

"Well, yes...but..."

"And, areya a private inspector or what?"

"...yes..." He got me there.

"And, how long haveya been doin' dis here job?"

"Close to 2 years..."

"Well, do ya tink Jesse would appreciate ya sittin' around here, crying like

a goily man?!"

"No..."

"SO stop whinin' and DO sometin' about it!"

"Right!!" I was determined. Then my face fell. "How am I going to do that?"

Meowth didn't look too happy with me. "How many cases have ya been on?"

I tried to count in my head. "Er.... a lot..."

"Well, what do ya tink DIS is, ya dolt?!"

A lightbulb went off over my head. Then Meowth got up and turned it off.

"Hmph. Somethin's always wrong with our electricity."

But I had gotten an idea. "That's it!!" I exclaimed. "This is a case!"

"Duh." Was all Meowth had to offer.

I ignored him. "I'll be my own client! I shall call this, 'The Case of the

Missing Partner!' "

Meowth facefaulted. For whatever reason, I had no idea. "Let's just get dis

over wit."

"Alright, let's go!"

"Wait, I neva said I was goin'. What's in it for Meowth?"

I thought hard. Money, I didn't have too much of. He sure liked Cotton

Candy, though. THAT was when I realized it. "You know the Sweet Inn...?"

His ears perked up. "What about it?"

"I know you've got the hots for a certain kitten that works there. And I can

get ya in. All you have to do is..."

Meowth's eyes almost engulfed his entire face. "It's a DEAL!!"

I knew what we had to do. To track down Jesse, I needed the help of an old

friend. Unfortunately, that old friend was in the custody of an old enemy

who thought I was an old flame that she still carried a torch for, just like

the old days. Wait a minute, what am I saying? Well, anyway, so we went to

my old estate where my old man lived.

"I'm not so sure I want to do this..." I admitted.

"Come on! We need Growly so he can track down Jesse's scent!"

"Oh, alright." I was sneaking around on my own estate... well, my parents'

estate. I didn't want to run into them, not now.

"DAHLING!!" I heard an all too familiar voice, followed by a high-pitched

sadistic giggle that made my blood run cold.

"Hello...Jessebelle." I tried to control my shuddering.

"Oh, James mah sweet, I KNEW you would come back ta me!" She grabbed me in a

rib-crushing bear hug.

Jessebelle was the one broad I could NOT stand. She was my fiancée, still,

and my parents wanted me to marry her for her money.

As of now, I was gasping for air. "Let....go....of.....ME!"

"Uh uh uh" she taunted. "Ah'm not gonna let you get away THAT easily!"

"I...just... want...to...get....Growly!"

"Oh no! Don't say that wretched creature's name in front of me, eva!!"

Things were not looking good. In the blink of an eye, she had me tied up and

chained. Apparently, it appeared that she had somehow interpreted "I just

want my dog" as a request to play out a Cassidy-type dominatrix bondage

fantasy.

She had dragged me to her.... *shudder* Dungeon of Delight. "Meowth!!

MEOWTH!!" I hollered. I looked around. He was gone. That darn cat!! I cursed

under my breath. He abandoned me.

"No one can help you now, precious." It was the same tone that seemed as if

she said, "No one can hear you scream." Her voice echoed off the walls.

"These walls are the thickest and strongest there are. NO ONE can hear you

scream."

The sadistic glint in her eye told me that she was far from being qualified

as sane. I wasn't used to...this type of situation. I knew I shouldn't have

listened to Meowth.

Despite Jessebelle's warnings, I screamed my lungs out. "HELP!!! MEOWTH!!!

ANYBODY!!! HELP!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Come on, Dahling... it won't hurt...much." She grinned evilly, playing with

her whip. Still, I'd rather have her playing with that than....other things.

Where was Meowth?!? Where the heck had he gone off to?!? began started

running down my face... she had started inching closer to me...

All of a sudden,

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!KABOOM!!!!!!!

There was a blinding explosion near the Dungeon's entrance. The place filled

with smoke and fumes.

Meowth came rushing in and freed me. Tears of joy streamed down my face.

"MEOWTH!!" I cried.

"Shut up and run!" He commanded. "While Jessebelle's still blinded!"

"*cough cough* James, mah sweet, where ARE you?!? James!!"

I took Meowth's advice and run like the wind. Never, never again, will I go

back there.

Meowth told me that he had gone off to find Growly when he saw that I had

been captured by Jessebelle. Unfortunately, his search proved fruitless, but

Thank God that he had flash powder, and that he knew where I'd be.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked, dusting myself off and checking for

bruises or whip marks. At least we were safe back in the treacherous city.

"Don't look at me! You're da private eye!"

"Well, normally Jesse would ask a client about their enemies...and then

interrogate them." Then it hit me. It was a shoe. It hurt, quite a bit, too.

The city WAS treacherous. I mean, you couldn't walk down the street without

getting hit by something or taking blows to the head. However, head trauma

seemed to give me ideas.

"Of COURSE!!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't I think of it before?!"

Meowth looked at me quizzically, absolutely DYING to hear of my brilliance,

no doubt. Actually, he looked smug. He was probably hiding his curiosity and

awe on the inside. He tended to do that quite a bit.

"Let's pay Butch and Cassidy a visit."

"What can I do ya for?" Cassidy asked, crossing her legs. She and Butch were

Jesse's and my long-time rivals. They were also in the inspecting business,

but their methods were much *ahem* "different" then ours.

Cassidy batted her lashes at me. I suppose the dame was trying to flirt with

me. Who could blame her? I was MUCH more suave and debonair than Butch,

anyhow. Of course, I didn't take the bait. With any other gal, I'd be

flattered. But I knew for a fact that this dame had a list of "personal

clients". And I don't mean those that she took cases for, either.

"Look, Toots, I just want straight facts."

"I see... about what?"

"Where were you the night of...um, last night?"

She fixed her lipstick. "That depends....why do you want to know?"

"Just tell me."

"Well, THAT'S no fun...There are other ways of getting me to talk, ya know."

She said, winking. This dame was just about as slutty as they come. She

leaned over, giving people half across the world a good view of her

cleavage.

"Miss Cassidy, all I want is information, NOTHING more."

She pouted. "Butch never minds when I want to play "Good Cop, Bad Cop"."

"Then let me tell you a few things, Toots. Number One: I'm not Butch, and

thank Heavens I'm not. Number Two: I would really be better off not knowing

what sick little games and things you like to do in your spare time." I gave

a little mental shudder at the thought. " Number Three: I'm not a cop, I'm a

Private Eye, and determined to be an extremely good one. And I'd prefer not

to come in contact with any coppers. Number Four: I JUST WANT YOU TO TELL ME

WHERE YOU WERE!"

"Fine. Last night, I was at the Sweet Inn." She primped her hair a bit. Her

hair style was nothing compared to Jesse's. Those things at the end always

bothered me.

"Is that the truth?"

"Of course it is! Are you suggesting that *I* would lie?! Plus, what's with

the Spanish Inquisition?"

I ignored her question. "When was the last time you saw Jesse?"

"Jesse? Last night."

"Where?"

"At the Sweet Inn." She gave a little grin, knowing full well what that

implied. I think... What did it imply? Well, since she herself was there,

that wasn't much. "I saw her with my own eyes at the Sweet Inn."

I guess I had to take her word for it. I had gotten my info and had NOT let

her know that I knew that Jesse was missing!! I deserved a medal!! "Thanks

for ya time. Now I can find Jesse for sure!"

"Wait...Jesse's missing?!?"

D'OH!!! >.<!! "Yes, since this morning..."

"How interesting..."

DOUBLE D'OH!!! "Well, I er....gottagobye!" I quickly left before I told

Cassidy any more.

"It didn't go good, did it?" Meowth asked.

"No...." I sighed.

"Well, at least I beat up deir giant rat!"

I suppose he was trying to cheer me up. It didn't work.

"Where do we go from here?"

"The Sweet Inn."

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