Team Rocket Meets South Park Disclaimer: I don't own Jessie, James or Meowth, or any character from South Park. I came up with the idea for this fic after a 2 hour South Park tv marathon, and an hour and a half Team Rocket websearch. This is what I think would happen when everybody's favorite cartoons collide. Team Rocket is walking down a long dirt road. Jessie: We're lost again!! James, can't you read a map right??? James: Sorr-y! Hey, I don't even *have* the map! Meowth does! Meowth: No I don't!! I tought Jessie had it... Jessie: Well, we'll just keep following this road. Hopefully, it will lead to rare Pokemon! The group of three kept on walking down the dusty road. It was almost night time, and they didn't want to sleep on the cold, hard ground again tonight. They reached a sign. 'South Park- 1/2 mile' James: South Park?? What's that?? Jessie: It's a town, idiot! Odd thought, it doesn't have a weird name like 'Pallet Town', 'Vermillion City' or 'Cerulian City'... Meowth: Just keep walkin'! I'm starving here! Jessie and James resumed their walk, Meowth following close behind. They started to walk by a few houses. Jessie: Good! Houses! There *must* be a hotel around here *somewhere*! Just then, an odd man walks by with a banjo. He starts singing... Man: I'm goin' down to South Park... Jessie, James and Meowth stare at him, wide-eyed, as he walked away. A school bus goes by, carrying four children. Two boys stick their heads out. They start singing, too. Boys: Friendly faces everywhere... Team Rocket stared as the bus went by. The banjo man struts by again. Man: I'm goin' down to South Park... Just before the bus was out of sight, a fat boy sticks his head out of the window. Boy: Ample paking day or night... The strange man goes by once again, struming on the banjo and singing. By then, the trio had strolled by what seemed like an elemenrty school. There was the fourth kid that was on the bus with the others! He started mumbling... Meowth: Oh my God!What a doydy kid!!! Jessie and James: What did he say?? Just as they were asking, a peice of crap wearing a Santa Claus hat flew over their heads and landed on a sign. It said 'South Park', just like the one they had seen earlier, just that this one was in better shape. Jessie: That's disgusting!!! James: That's disturbing!!! Meowth: Dat's... yuk! After Team Rocket had shaken the disgusting happenings out of their heads, they decided to keep walking along their merry way, looking for a Pokemon Center, Pokemon Gym, or anything else that had to do with Pokemon. *Fart* Kids: Hahahahaha! Our heros stopped dead in their tracks. Each had equally disgusted looks on their faces. They peeked over the corner of a nearby building, and there they saw the four boys they had seen earlier! James: Do you think we should go over there and ask them where we can find a hotel? I'm scared of this town... Jessie: Well... these are just boys... disturbed boys... erm... do you think they'd know?? Meowth: Come on, geys! We gotta ask 'em, or we'll be walkin' around dis demented town fer deys! With that, Meowth pushed Jessie and James forward. The four boys looked at them, wide-eyed. Kid #1: Hey Cartman, is this one of your mom's friends? She sure dresses like she should be. The kid was pointing to Jessie. Cartman: Damnit Stan, would you shut the hell up?!? His voice was disturbing and extremely annoying. Jessie looked at James. She nudged him. James: Umm... do you know where we can find a hotel around here? Kid: Mmmph mmmph ppph ph mm hh... Kids: Hahahahaha! James: What did he say?? Meowth, is he a Pokemon?? Translate! Meowth: Dis kid ain't a Pokemon!! He just can't talk because his hood is too tight! I can't understand a woyd he said!! Jessie: Then how come you could understand what he said the first time we saw him?? Meowth: Erm... The four boys were watching the whole thing. Stan: Dude, this is pretty f@#$%ed up right here. Jessie, James and Meowth stared in disbelief. Jessie: How old are you?? Stan: I'm eight. Jessie fell over. Kid: Dude, what's wrong with her? Cartman: I don't know. Dude, this is weak. Screw you guys, i'm going home. The fat boy waddled away. James: You, do you know where we could find a hotel? James was pointing to the boy with the cute green hat and orange jacket. The kid stared at him blankly. James turned to the kid with the tacky orange snowsuit. James: What's your name? Kid: Mph-y. James got this puzzled look on his face. James: Murphy? Stan: Dude, he said his name was Kenny. Kenny nodded. James turned back to the kid with the green hat. James: What's your name? Kid: Dude, I'm Kyle! Where are you guys from?? Where do you get your clothes? That weird-haired girl you're with dresses like Cartman's mom when she posed for... Jessie: What was that about my hair?! Jessie whipped out her paper fan. The kids ran away in fear. Jessie managed to smack Kenny in the back of the head with her fan. His head fell over, blood gushing out. The trade-mark rats came running, munching on Kenny. Stan: (pointing to Kenny, then Jessie) Oh my God! She killed Kenny! Kyle: You... bastard?? Jessie and James were engulphed in a scared hug, while Meowth was cowering behind them. Jessie and James: H...he's... dead!!! Stan: Yeah. Kyle: Come on, let's go watch Terrance and Phillip. Jessie: Aren't you going to do anything about it??? Meowth: Quiet! Dey could call da cops on us! You're a moyderer now! Kyle: Don't worry about it, dude! Hey, how come that cat can talk? Meowth came out from behind Jessie and James, who were still wrapped up in their hug. Meowth: I'm no cat! I'm Meowth! Stan: Looks like a cat to me. Kyle: Dude, a talking cat! Meowth: I'm not a cat!!! Stan: And he has a gangster accent!! Cartman comes waddling back. Cartman: Aren't you guys done dealing with these weirdos yet??? Jessie: Who are you calling weird?? You're the irregularly fat one!!! Cartman: (screaming) I'm not fat!! I'm big-boned!!! James: We aren't weird! We're Team Rocket! Jessie and James came forward, walking over Kenny's mangled carcas. Jessie: Prepare for trouble! James: And make it double! James took out his ever-famous rose. Jessie: To protect the world from devestation! James: To unite all peoples within our nation! Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love! James: To extend our reach to the stars above! Jessie: JESSIE! James: JAMES! Jessie: Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light! Jessie struck a really cool pose. James: Surrender now or prepare to fight! James struck his own adorable pose. Meowth: Meeeeeeowth! Dat's right! The three kids stared, unimpressed. Stan: Dude, what the hell was that? Kyle: Dude, I don't know, but that guy is a *total* weirdo *freak*! James got blue in the face. James: Why you rude, insulant little... Before James could finish, Jessie covered his mouth with her hand. Jessie: Would you tell us where to find a hotel, already??? Stan: Dude, her attitude is worse than Cartman's!!! Stan and Kyle laughed, while Eric Cartman fumed. Cartman: Damnit, would you shut the hell up, you son of a ... James: No!!! Don't say it!!! Cartman frowned. He went over to James and kicked him in the knee. Cartman: (screaming angrily) You will obey my authori-tye! James grabbed his knee, hopping around on one foot. Jessie looked over at James, then at Cartman, a puzzled look posing on her face. That's when she realized something. Jessie: You stupid kid!!!! Only *I* get to abuse him!!! Jessie ran up to Cartman and was about to give him a good hard whack with her fan. But the two boys screamed. Stan and Kyle: Cartman!! Don't let her get you! Look at what she did to Kenny! Cartman: Would you two just leave me alone!!! I'm not afraid of her!! Chee, if I had a woman like her, I'd kick her ass!!! Cartman looked over at Jessie. She looked like she was about to blow a fuse. Meowth: I'm warnin' ya, tubby, don't mess wit 'er!! Kyle: *I'M* warning *you*, dude, don't mess with Fat Ass! He might sit on you!! Cartman: Kyle! I'll blow your friggin' head off! You peice 'a' crap!!! Kyle: Woa, dude! He's going totally mental!!! Run for your lives!!! Team Rocket was not impressed. In fact, Jessie was so angry, she put her fan away and took her mallet out. Cartman turned to Jessie. Cartman: You, get your bitch ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie! Jessie's eyes widened. This was her chance! Jessie: Listen, you little freak, tell us where the hotel is, and I won't beat your butt into the ground!!! Cartman was obviously getting scared, since Jessie was now frantically whacking her mallet around, about to hit him. All of a sudden, a fat man with a red shirt and a chef hat walked on by. Chef: Hello there children! Chef looked over at Jessie. He raised his eyebrows. Chef: Lemme sing you a little song... *I'm gonna make love to ya woman...* Chef was whacked over the head by an angry James. Apparently, the jealousy became too much for him. Stan: Oh my God!!! He... killed... Chef!!! Kyle: You BASTARD!!! James: I didn't kill him!!! Jessie: What a disgusting, insulting man. Anyway, give us your Pokemon!!! We'll find another hotel in another town!!! Meowth: Yeah! An' hurry it up! Cartman: Dude, what the hell is a Pokemon?? Kyle: It's a tv show, dumb ass! Cartman turned to Jessie. Cartman: We don't have any stupid Pokemon!!! Nobody gives a rat's *ass*! Jessie: Quit fooling around!! Give us your Pokemon!! You've *got* to have *some* Pokemon around here *somewhere*!!! Cartman: Damn your black heart, Jessie! You ugly skank! Jessie now had smoke coming out of her ears. She'd had enough of this brat. She replaced her mallet with her murdering paper fan and gave Cartman a good hard whack on the head. Cartman fell to the ground, unconscious. Jessie smiled. Stan: Dude! Thanks for knocking Cartman out! His fat ass was really starting to annoy me... Hey, I think we might have a Pokemon for you! Stan went over to Kyle and whispered something into his ear. Kyle nodded and took off. He came back a minute later, Pokemon in hand. He handed it to Jessie. Team Rocket smiled. At last, success! James: Glad you came to your senses, kids! The trio walked off into the sunset with the Pokemon in their hands, laughing. Kyle and Stan were just standing there, laughing quietly. James: So, what kind of Pokemon did he give you? Jessie: I don't know... it kind of looks like a garbage can... Jessie handed it to Meowth. Meowth inspected the Pokemon, shrugged and handed it back to Jessie. Jessie looked at the Pokemon. Jessie: What kind of Pokemon are you??? Pokemon: Ike! No kick the baby! *~The End~* ~Mina~ You can e-mail me at inkiemouse@hotmail.com But be gentle! It's my first, real Team Rocket fic!