"The Satellite of 'Dite,

the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"

By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom

Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!

Smut: Uh~ debated

Violence: Hm~ debated

"Episode Seven: Sailor Meowth,

Jessica Reads Yet Another SM/Pokemon Xover"

Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. Mike and the 'Bots would go under Disclaimer number one along with Pearl-tachi. This 'fic belongs to NyaseoftheRocketGang (right?)

Quick Notes I: I believe Nyase...Gang wrote an extra episode to Crystal Dawn Phoenix's 'fic "Sailor Comet", which I wanna riff a chapter of one day, especially the one with the word crepe in it 'coz I know how to pronounce it correctly and it's fun to say that way. (Pretend you're coughing up a hairball while saying the "r". Crrrrrrrrepe!) So if Phoenix is reading this by any chance, can I use that chapter?

A Big Thanks: Thank you NyaseoftheRocketGang. The story, which I read only half of, is quite interesting, all though the format IS confusing, but hey, it may not be your fault. Who am I to judge? Lowly ol' Jaimielée Rocket. But thanks for the 'fic! I needed the break from CTR! Besides, I used all four of her fanfics, so . . . Just waiting for Rocket Princess IV . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey! Throw it over here!" Jessica called, throwing her arms above her head and flinging them around. She, Mike and the 'Bots were playing a game of basketball. They had the net, but nowhere to hang it, so they had Gypsy hold onto it in her mouth while she stood on a couple of boxes to make it high up. It was humans against robots, and you'd think the humans would have the advantage, but Crow knew more about basketball than either of them did, and Servo possessed the ability to hover, so you can probably guess that that came in handy. Mike was trapped by the hexfield, holding the ball and twisting this way and that without having his feet lift off the ground, trying to get a clear shot of the basket. Jessica, of course was wide open, but like in gym class, no one would pass her the ball. She sighed and put down her hands, believing Mike wouldn't even consider passing to her. She turned and saw the red light begin to flash. "Pearl's calling!" she shouted, tapping the button.

"Jessica! Heads up!" Mike yelled, throwing the ball over the 'Bots' heads.

The ball whacked into the side of her head and she fell over and onto the floor.

Castle Forrester:

Pearl and Observer stood close to the communications screen, like they usually do when they call, and Pearl grinned evilly. "Smooth one, Jess-dork."

SoL:

Jessica, dazed, is being helped up by Mike, who is apologizing thoroughly. She grabbed the growing lump on the side of her head and she muttered, "That's a stupid name insult, PeaRoll."

CF:

Observer and the mad scientist both scoffed. "That's the best you can do?"

SoL:

"I was just hit in the head with a basketball! I like pie."

"I think you knocked something loose, Mike," Crow pointed out. In light of this, Mike continued apologizing.

CF:

"Anyway," Pearl waved it aside, "Mister Tapert sent me another fanfic to give to you guys! But first, I have an experiment I want to perform. See, we developed a food that is appealing to the taste, but it makes a person hallucinate that they are facing their worst fears. While everyone is panicking, we can move in and take over the world!" She began to cackle. She suddenly stopped cackling and held out her hand. "Bobo? Are you finished making them?"

The advanced ape walked over, holding onto a pan of cookies in the shape of Pikachus. "Here you go, Lawgiver."

"Give it to Brain Guy." Bobo handed it over to Observer who immediately sent it up to the Satellite of Love using his brain powers. "Now, try some. Mike, you remain the control. Don't eat any."

SoL:

Mike reached out for one, saying, "But they're in the shape of Pikachus! I can't resist!"

Jessica, growling, smacked his hand away. "Pikachu! Must kill!" She ate all but two cookies in the dozen that was sent up to them.

Mike picked up the other two, but he held them out for Crow and Servo to eat, for their arms had stopped working again for some reason.

CF:

All three people leaned closer to the screen in anticipation. "Well?" Pearl asked eagerly.

SoL:

Mike and Servo are still on screen, but Jessica and Crow have mysteriously disappeared. "Well," Servo mused, smacking his "lips". "The cookies tasted good, to that I must say excellent cooking, Bobo. Uhm, well, frankly, I don't feel scared at all."

"Well, do you have a fear?" Mike asked.

"Nope, I'm fearless."

"Then that's the problem! You're not afraid of anything, so the cookies won't affect you."

"Oh, darn," he said in disappointment. "I was hoping I would be. It sounded fun. Hey, where are Crow and Jessica?"

Suddenly, Jessica came running in. She latched onto Mike's arm, screaming, her eyes wide in terror. "What's the matter?" he asked, trying to remove her.

"I-I," she whispered, "I have HORSES chasing after me!"

"Horses?" he repeated, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, and they're using giant NEEDLES as weapons! And hands keep POPPING out of nowhere!!!!"

Just then, Crow so then decided to pop out of nowhere. She shrieked, grasped her heart, and collapsed to the floor in a shuddering heap. Mike shrugged and Servo tsk-ed as he shook his head sadly. They looked at Crow, who didn't look all that terrified. "Well Crow, what are you seeing?" the man inquired.

"Well, for a second I thought I saw a giant eggplant come at me, but then I realized it was just all my imagination and it went away. So then I took a trip to the bathroom and . . . I'm back." He glanced down at the floor. "What's the matter with her?"

Mike reached down and picked her up off the ground once more. She sat in his grip, twitching and muttering about horses, needles and hands. Compassionately, Mike said, "Look what you've done to her, Pearl! Reverse it!"

CF:

"Brain Guy," Pearl ordered, "take down a note."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, producing forth a notebook and pen.

"Cookies don't work on robots, but when taken in large quantities, girls freak out real easily." She nodded that she was finished and called off to the side. "Hey! Bobo! Made the reversal cookies yet?"

Bobo returned, carrying a new pan full of James shaped cookies. "Yes, Lawgiver! Here you go."

"Brain Guy," she simply said, nodding her head at the cookies.

"Oh, yes, of course." With a pop, the pan disappeared. Then he held up a disk saying, "And here comes your fanfic. This one is called 'Sailor Meowth' by NyaseoftheRocketGang. It's about a male cat discovering that he is a female Sailor Warrior of Truth and Justice and Love and all that trash." With another stare and a pop, the disk was gone.

SoL:

"C'mon, Jessica," Servo urged as Mike stuffed cookies into her mouth. "There you go, these will make all the horses and needles and popping hands go away." The lights began to go off. "Aww, crap, we got fanfic sign!" With the usual pandemonium, everyone ran off to their respective entrances, Mike carrying Jessica like a package as he went.

~*~*~*~*~*~

(all enter, Jessica is walking on her own now. Servo sits in the fourth seat, she in the third, Mike in the second and Crow in the first.)

JESSICA: (while wiping mouth) Gee, thanks for force-feeding those cookies to me, Mike.

MIKE: No problem.

JESSICA: I just wish I had milk now.

SERVO: (deep voice) Got milk?

JESSICA: No I don't, that's why I was wishing I had some.

SERVO: (deep voice) Oh.

CROW: So, another Pokémon/Sailor Moon crossover.

JESSICA: Gee, can't I catch a break?

> Sailor Meowth

CROW: (in documentary narrator voice) Sailors often took Meowths onto their ships to catch the infestation of Rattatas and Raticates.

> you know, after seeing pokemon, and seeing sailor moon, a question often brings itself

> about for no apearent reason.

JESSICA: (author) Like: "What the hell were the Japanese thinking?"

> what if Jessie or Misty where a member of the sailor scouts?

MIKE: Where are the members of the Sailor Scouts? I don't know, you had them last!

> well, i've read several fics that answer that question.

JESSICA: (sobs) So have I!!!

SERVO: (comforts her)

> some are even quite good. but, there is another, more frighting question none dare to think

> of that comes to mind. what if meowth was a sailor scout?

CROW: Actually, a frightening question I would rather not think about is, "What if JAMES was a Sailor Scout?"

> well, this fic answers that question. so, without further ado, i present, Sailor Meowth?!

>>>> Luna

JESSICA: Looks like an avalanche covered a few sentences there.

>sat across the temple with artimiedius

SERVO: Artimiedius? Wasn't he one of the apes from Planet of the Apes?

> while Jessie, James,and Meowth have their daily argument. Artimedias has fallen asleep,

> but luna can't help but think that she's seen the "talking" cat before.

MIKE: Perhaps in the last part of the fanfic?

> suddenly, it hits her.

ALL: -Whap!-

> luna:"Why, he look just like the princess from *kilrah!"(if you know where this name is

> from, yet alone why it might be choosen, then you apparently have been reading to much

> or playing too many video games)

JESSICA: Kilrah? Kilrah. Doesn't ring a bell. I guess I have more of a life than I thought.

> artimedius wakes up, but isn't fully alert yet. artimedius:"huh? what?" luna jumps up and

> turns to him. Luna:"artimedius, i do belive that cat over there is the princess of kilrah!"

CROW: Great, now that's gonna be bugging me! Kilrah? Kilrah! What is that from?

> artimedius is now fully alert at hearing this news. artimedius:"what?! are you sure?"

> luna:"Without a doubt. look there."

JESSICA: Man, the disease is really killing NyaseoftheRocketGang! If only I had that recipe!

> she points her paw towards meowth. luna:"see how he walks on his hind legs? that was

> something only the princess of kilrah managed to do.

MIKE: (Luna) Of course she broke a few bones while doing so.

SERVO: Garfield can walk on his hind legs, is HE a Princess of Kilrah?

> not only that, he is the only one of his kind who can speak, a trait that is characteristic of

> all felins from kilrah." artimedius sighs. artimedius;"kilrah. how i miss it." luna:"no time for

> self pity now,

CROW: If not now, then when?

> we may have just found us another ally." luna runs up to jessie, who is still arguing with

> her other team mates. she rubs jessie's leg to get her attention. Jessie:"I don't care

> if........

JESSICA: (Jessie) . . . it kills you! You are going to drink this bottle marked henbane!

> huh?" She looks down to see luna. "blast her. always when i'm about to give james and

> meowth a good thrashing."

MIKE: (Luna) If she doesn't let me out soon I'm gonna relieve myself on her boots.

> Jessie:"We'll finish this later. I've just rememberd something i have to do." before james or

> meowth can even reply

SERVO: He can reply? Well, it's always nice to see that someone can voice an opinion.

> she stomps off following luna. when she's certain she's far enough so that James and

> meowth can't hear her, she stops and starts to complain to luna. Jessie:"What is it this

> time?" luna shakes here head and sighs. luna:"when are you ever going to learn how to be

> patient?" Jessie snarls back at her. Jessie:"As soon as i have the time! now what is it you

> want? I've got things to do!" Luna:"First of all, I want you to calm down and get some

> manners." Jessie mearly gives her a dirty look,

CROW: (Luna) Hold on a second, lemme get some soap and water, you have a dirty look on your face.

> but says nothing. Luna:"That's better. And second, go get your friend Meowth."

> Jessie:"My friend?!" Luna:"never mind what the relationship is, just go get him!"

JESSICA: That sort of puts a bad image in your mind, now don't it.

> Jessie mumbles incoherantly to herself, but goes to get meowth. luna sighs.

> Luna:"sometimes i wish that she wasn't serena's only hope for escape."

MIKE: What the? Did I miss something?

JESSICA: I think this may be a little parody that goes along with a little fanfic where Jessie turns into Sailor Comet and Misty into Sailor Nereid. "Sailor Comet" it is called. Done by Crystal Dawn Phoenix, I believe.

MIKE: Ohhhh . . . huh?

> artimeidus runs up to luna. Artimeidius:"Well?" luna looks at him. luna:"She's going to get

> him now. I think it might be a good idea if you went and got misty.

SERVO: She wants him to get *misty*? Okay then.

CROW: Who IS this "Artimeidius" person?

SERVO: I think it's "Artemis".

CROW: Oh.

> Sailor Nereid might like to know of her new team mate." Artimedius nods his head in

> agreement, then leaves to get misty. shortly, artmeidius returns with misty following and

> jessie arrives dragging a complaining Meowth. Meowth:"What's so important that it can't

> wait untill after my cat-nap?" Jessie mumbles to herself. Jessie:"I'd like to know that

> myself." Meowth:"What?" Jessie looks over her shoulder and yells at the complaining cat.

> Jessie:"I said quite your whining." Jessie turns back around to find Misty there along with

> that white cat artimius.

MIKE: That darn white cat!

> Jessie gives Misty a dirty look,

JESSICA: (Luna) Damn, hold on again, you got ANOTHER dirty look on your face.

> then yells at her. Jessie:"Just what do you think you're

> doing here?" Meowth mangaes to break free of Jessie's grasp, then notices Misty.

SERVO: (Meowth) I'm in love!

> Meowth:"What?! It's that girl that hangs out with that pikachu! It must not be far! Maybe

> we can still catch it!" Jessie glares at meowth. Misty:"Can't you ever think about anything

> else?"

MIKE: (Meowth) Not if our lives depend on it, which they do, so no!

> Luna and Artimidus sigh as Misty, Jessie, and Meowth break out into one of the

> largest arguments they have ever seen. Artimidus:

CROW: That's his sixth name change in this whole fanfic. I've been keeping count.

> "And I thought ray and selrena

JESSICA: NBC's new show, "Ray and Selrena", a complete and total rip off on "Will and Grace" and that one ABC show, uh, "Dharma and Greg".

> where bad enough."

SERVO: "Where bad enough" is? Isn't that a song?

> Luna:"compare to these three, they're the best of friends." The argument continues until

> luna decides to end it. she yells out as loud as she can. Luna:"That's quite enough!" They

> all stop and stare at the cat, surprised.

MIKE: Then they go on a murderous rampage! She dare yell at them? Kick her ass!

CROW: Woah, Mike, a sudden burst of anger from you!

MIKE: Sorry, the endless format, it's hypnotizing me or something!

> Meowth is the first to respond. Meowth:"Did...did that cat just talk?" Jessie, still thinking

> she has to keep luna's speaking a secret, tries to persuade meowth other wise. Jessie:"Of

> course not you......"

JESSICA: (Jessie as a government worker) No, it was just swamp gas. Just a crashing weather balloon.

> But luna cuts her off

SERVO: And blood spurts all over the place.

> before she can even finish her sentanc. Luna:"yes, i did." She glares at Jessie, Misty, and

> Meowth. Luna:"And if you three would stop arguing long enough, i do have something

> important to say." Meowth stares at the cat, jaw dropped,

MIKE: Why should that be so shocking to him? I mean, HE can talk and it isn't usual for Meowths to talk.

> Anotherwhile jessie mearly turns away, clearly annoyed. Misty breaks the silence.

> Misty:"What is it that you have to tell us luna?" Luna:"yes, well, we've found another

> sailor scout." Misty jumps, clearly excited.

CROW: (Misty) Another girl to do gratuitous panty shots with and act giddy with!? Hooray!

JESSICA: If that makes Misty excited, then she need to get a LITTLE semblance of life.

> Misty:"Wow! That's great! Right Jessie?" Jessie crossers her arms and snaps back at her.

> Jessie:"Oh great. Just what i need. Another no fashion loser hanging around me."

> Luna:"Well, at least this scout is another person you already know." Jessie:"Who?" luna

> points to meowht with her paw. Meowth is still staring at luna, mouth still open. Misty

> stares in shock. Jessie:"Meowth?! You can't be serious." Luna simply nods. Jessie:"Tell

> me you're not serious!"

SERVO: (Jessie) Tell me you were hitting the catnip again!

> Luna shakes her head no. Jessie:"Oh great, just great. We've really sunk to a new low if

> he's a scout."

MIKE: No, a new low is if BROCK becomes a Scout.

JESSICA: Or Ash! (all shudder at such a thought)

> Misty recovers from the shock, then proceds to get more info as to her new "team mate".

> Misty:"So what planet was he king of?" Artimidus:"actually, he was the princess."

> Misty:"WHat?!" Luna:"That's right. he was the queen of kilrah.

CROW: I thought "Artimidus" said he was a "princess".

> The homeworld for all us talking cats. He's of the royal family. Hince his uniqe abilities."

> Misty:"Who would have thought." Artimidus:"Shouldn't we tell him?" He points to

SERVO: With all that pointing, Luna and Artemis had better watch where they stick their paws.

> meowth, who everyone turns to look at. Meowth is still in his state of shock, not noticing

> anything. Misty waves her hand in front of him, gets no response, then shrugs.

MIKE: (Misty) Hey, cool, watch this guys! (makes punching sounds) He's not waking up!

> Jessie:"Here, this'll wake him up." She gives him a swift kick that sends him flying across

> the temple floor.

JESSICA: Hm, I still have to report this abuse to the Humane Society.

> Jessie:"Get up you lazy furball!" After hitting a wall face first, he finally comes to his

> senses.

CROW: Then swiftly loses them since he was KICKED INTO A WALL!

> Meowth:"Eh? WHat?" Luna and artimidus sigh. Luna:"Looks like i'm going to have to do

> the lunar mind meld."

SERVO: Ooo, that doesn't sound good.

MIKE: It's only designed to help him remember.

CROW: What, you actually WATCH Sailor Moon? All the way through?

MIKE: (blushing) No.

CROW: (sings) Mike watches Sailor Moon! Mike watches Sailor Moon!

MIKE: Oh yeah? What about the collection of Shampoo dolls that you hide under your bed?

CROW: (coldly) You said you would never bring that up.

MIKE: Then silence.

CROW: . . .

> She walks over to meowth, and stares at him, a bright beam of light shining from the

> cresent moon on her forhead towards meowth's head.

SERVO: (Luna) Oh dear, I had it set on Brain *Melt*, not Brain *Meld*.

> Meowth:"Hey, what's going on?"

JESSICA: (Meowth) Is it supposed to hurt this much?

> Luna:"I'm showing you your past. Now sit still and watch." In the mind of Meowth, he's

> surounded by a large ball room with many humans dressed elegantly in formal atire.

MIKE: Are we in an Anni Lennix video?

> A man in the back blows a bugle. Man with bugle:"And now presenting, her royal

> highness from kilrah, princess Meowth." Meowth enters the room, but is dressed in a

> flashy gold dress and is wearing make up.

CROW: Augh, I'm gonna close my eyes . . . I can't. Mike, close them for me?

MIKE: Sure. (holds hand over eyes) I'll tell you when Meowth in drag passes.

> Meowth sees this and stares in horror. Meowth:"What? That's me! But, in a dress?!" He

> sees himself walk up to queen Serenaty and bows before her. In his normal voice, the

> princess Meowth greets her.

SERVO: Does that mean, even though he is supposed to be a girl, he still talks in a male, Jersey accent?

> Princess Meowth:"Your majesty." The queen nods, and princess Meowth goes about her

> business.

JESSICA: In the middle of the ballroom? Yuck!

MIKE: Well, if Serenity failed to set up a litter box, then she deserved it.

> Abruptly, the vision ends as fast as it started.

MIKE: Okay, Crow. He's outta drag. (removes hand)

CROW: Thank you!

> Luna:"Now do you understand?" Meowth stares into space, then glares at Luna angrily.

> Meowth:"What sort of cheap charade was that?" Luna sighs. Luna:"It's no charade, it's

> what you looked like all those years ago before the moon kingdom was destroyed."

> Meowth:"But acording to that, I was a girl! Do I look female to you?!" Luna:"Well, now

> that you mention it...." Meowth:"SHut up! Who asked you anyway?" Artimidious:

CROW: Look! His SEVENTH name change!

> "THat's not important. What's important now, is that you're also a sailor scout and can

> help in the battle against the negaverse." Meowth:"Huh? Negaverse? What's that?" Misty

> decides to answer this one.

JESSICA: She decided to try to sound smart for once.

> Misty:"It's a place with a bunch of mad, evil people who are trying to take over our

> world."

CROW: Is the Negaverse ruled by a certain woman named Pearl?

JESSICA: Close, Beryl.

SERVO: It's just a undercover name. It's Pearl.

MIKE: I always felt Beryl seemed familiar.

> Meowth:"So? WHat's so wrong with that?" Jessie, seeing this obviously leading nowhere

> fast, comes up with an idea to convince Meowth to join their cause. Jessie:"So, if they

> take over the world, that would ruin all of OUR hopes of taking over the world for

> ourselves." Meowth looks at the floor as he ponders this. Meowth:"I never thought of it

> like that." Jessie:"Not only that, because you're a sailor scout, that also means that you're

> the ruler of an entire planet." Meowth looks up with excitment at this. Meowth:"I am?"

> Luna, catching on to this plan, adds her own comments to it. LUna:"That's right. Which

> also means you're rich beyond you're wildest dreams." Meowth:"I'm rich too?!"

SERVO: I wanna be a Sailor Scout, too, Mike! Can I?

MIKE: Sorry, I think you have to be born with that power.

SERVO: Oh . . .

MIKE: I tell you what, though, if I see an extra Starseed laying around, I'll be sure to give it to you.

SERVO: Thanks, Mike!

> Luna nods her head. Meowth jumps up and shouts at the top of his lungs. Meowth:"YES!

> I'm Top Cat again!" He quickly regains his composure. Meowth:"Wait'll the boss hears

> about this. I bet he puts me in charge of his organization!" He runs off to comunicate with

> him, but Jessie stops him. Meowth:"Outta tha way! I've got to tell the boss and show that

> stupid persian up once and for all!" Jessie sighs. Jessie:"Uh....you see......there's a problem

> with all of this." Meowth:"What'ya mean a problem?" LUna:"You can't tell anyone about

> it." Meowth:"Anyone? Not even tha boss?"

JESSICA: Rob-- Imean, Giovanni might not like it.

> Misty:"Espicially not the boss." Meowth sighs. Meowth:"All this wealth and power, and I

> don't even get to have fun with it!"

CROW: Tell me about it. Once I ordered a whole cargo of guns, but Mike said "Noooo".

MIKE: We'll play with them later, okay?

>>> Meanwhile, in the negaverse.........

>> Queen beral:

SERVO: Queen Pearl-- Imean, BERYL . . .

> "Prince Darian, Malchite, come her immediatly!" Malchite appears before her shortly

> followed by Darian. Milchite:"Yea my queen?" Darian:"You summonde me?" Queen

> Beral:"Yes. I wish to discuss the matter of these new sailor scouts." Malchite quickly goes

> on the defensive.

JESSICA: (Malachite) Get offa my back, why don'tchya!

> Malchite:"My queen, I can assure you, I have the matter well in hand. I have formulated a

> plan to capture these scouts and the Imperium

MIKE: Wow! After all those other spelling mistakes, can I believe that NyaseoftheRocketGang spelled "Imperium" right?

CROW: Of course, that's a very easy word to spell.

> Silver Crystal that can not fail." Queen Beral looks at him. Queen Beral:"It had better not.

> BUt, to be sure this time, I'm sending Prince Darian

SERVO: So this takes place during the time when Darien was brainwashed.

JESSICA: Yep.

MIKE: Such a dumbass, that Darien.

OTHERS: Mike!

MIKE: (shakes head) Woah, my head hurts.

> to over see this matter as well." Malchite:"But my queen......" Queen beral:"Silence! My

> word is law, and what I say goes.

CROW: (Beryl as Dr. Evil) When I get angry, Miss Metallia becomes upset, and when Miss Metallia becomes upset . . . People DIE!

> No arguments. Just see to it that your plan does not fail this time." Malchite bows.

> Malchit:"At once my queen." He dissapears. Queen Baral

JESSICA: Hey, the form of monetary unit on Arianus! No, wait, that's BARL not Baral.

> looks at Darian. QUeen Beral: "I want you to make sure that these new scouts are taken

> care of. Malchite promises succes, but he has been lacking it for some time now. Make

> sure he does not fail." Darian bows. Darian:"Of course my queen." WIth that, he

> dissapears as well.

>>> Back in Tokyo,

SERVO: Another avalanche has claimed the lives of two more sentences.

> Jessie, Misty, Luna, Artimeidious,

CROW: There's number eight.

> and Meowth have gone to Café au Lait, their favorite place to hang out now, to continue

> the conversation. Sforzie walks over to their table to delever the drinks they ordered, the

> chansey(still carrying it's chainsaw) besider, passing out napkins to everyone there.

SERVO: Bam! ANOTHER crossover! Isn't Sforzie from ANOTHER Team Rocket fanfic.

JESSICA: I think she is, but I've never read it myself.

MIKE: And aren't Team Rocket sites guarded by Chansies with Chainsaws?

JESSICA: This is as weird as one of my 'fics.

> She finishes placing their drinks before them, then gives them one of her now famous

> smiles.

MIKE: It's just as famous as Austin Powers, all for the same reason, too.

> Sforzie:"There we go. Is there anything else I can get for you?" Misty:"No thank you.

> We're fine for now." Sforzie nods her head then walks off to wait on the next table. Misty

> takes a sip of her drink, still weary of that chainsaw carrying chansey.

SERVO: It kept on jabbing and cutting her with it.

> Meowth:"So, what's this negaverse thing again?"

CROW: (Jessie) Meowth, we've gone over this twenty times, get it through your head, dammit!

> Jessie sighed and started to answer his question for the millionth time that day.

CROW: That's what I said, only that was nicer.

> Jessie:"For the last time Meowth. It's an evil group that's trying to take over the world or > something.

MIKE: Just like Pearl, like we said!!!!

JESSICA: (concerned) Are you okay?

MIKE: Head REALLY hurts.

>>> Meanwhile, inside the café.............

SERVO: Yet another avalanche took the lives of two more sentences.

>> Haunter:"Are you sure that that's a memeber of Team Rocket? I mean, just look at who

> she's with." Kilra holds up a sheet of paper with a picture of Jessie on it, along with some > information on her.

CROW: Hold it, hold it. ANOTHER fanfic character cameo?

JESSICA: I've never heard of them!

MIKE: That probably means that they are!

ALL: Argh!!!!!

> Kilra:"It has to be. Just look at this picture. Who else has hair like that?"

SERVO: I'm sure SOMEONE out there has hair like that other than Jessie. Why don't you insert THEM into this fanfic as well!

> Haunter sighs. Haunter:"Alright. I'll go make sure. But, if you're wrong again, you're

> going to be cleaning the restrooms again."

MIKE: That reminds me, toilet duty, Jessica.

JESSICA: (turns blue in the face) No!!!

SERVO: My toilet's clogged.

CROW: So's mine.

MIKE: If mine is, it was their fault.

JESSICA: Sigh~

> Kilra:"Don't worry. It's her this time." Haunter shakes his head then heads over to the

> table that Jessie and co. are sitting at, black cape looking ever so elegant behind him.

SERVO: C-cape? Must be a man named Haunter.

>>> Back at the table........

CROW: ANOTHER avalanche has claimed the lives of two more sentences.

JESSICA: Imagine what important plot points we could be missing.

>> Meowth is about to ask yet another question, but Haunter interupts him before he can.

> Haunter:"Greetings. You know, the weather looks good for rocket flying." Misty, luna,

> and artimeidious stare at him dummfounded. Misty:"Huh? What are you talking about?"

> What they don't know is that Haunter has just given the code frase to find out if a fellow

> Team Rocket member is sitting at this table..

MIKE: (narrator) They also don't know that we have replaced their usual coffee with Foldgers Crystals . . .

> Meowth looks at him suspiciously while Jessie says the return frase

SERVO: I like seeing all these new ways to spell words.

> to show she's a rocket. Jessie:"Yes, it does. Blasting them off until it's night."

CROW: How could they NOT know it's a Team Rocket secret phrase?

> Haunter breaths a sigh of relief then pulls up a chair and sits next to her.

JESSICA: (Haunter) S'up, man?

> Haunter:"Finally. After 5 others, I've found you, no thanks to Kilra."

MIKE: (Meowth) Kilrah? The planet that I come from?

SERVO: No, that's Kilrah with an "h" this is Kilra without one.

MIKE: Oh, pardon me.

> Misty looks to Jessie, then Meowth, and back again to Jessie.

CROW: Intense looking action!!!!

> Misty:"What's going on?!" Haunter looks at her, then Jessie.

JESSICA: More intense looking action!!!!

> Haunter:"Is she......." Jessie shakes her head. Jessie:"No. Is there someplace we can speak

> in private?" Haunter:"Yes, follow me." MIsty sticks her nose in the air annoyed that she's

> being left out. MIsty:"Hrmp....I don't care anyways." Haunter just gives her a quick look,

> then rises and leads Jessie and Meowth back through the café. He passes Crystal Dawn

SERVO: SI author!!!! In a fanfic not written by the author, even though it is using her fanfic idea, but then there are OTHER author characters in here and-- I'm gonna puke.

JESSICA: There's nothing wrong with SI authors.

JAIMIELÉE: I am the Queen of SI fanfics!!!!!

MIKE: Who in the world was that?

JESSICA: The author that I'm based after.

CROW & SERVO: Ah! Evil!

JESSICA: Am not!

> and Kilra on his way to the back room. Haunter:"Crystal, watch the floor for me. Kilra,

> you great people." Kilra:"What?! Why me? Why can't I watch the floor?!

SERVO: (Kilra) You know how much I like to stare at tile!

> I'm assistant manager after all!" Haunter:"Just do it!" He continues to lead Jessie and

> Meowth to a room in the back. Kilra:"It's not fair. I'm assistant manager." Crystal Dawn

> shrugs. Crystal Dawn:"Thems the breaks. Now get greeting. There's a customer waiting."

MIKE: (Kilra) I'll "breaks" your legs, you little, self-serving . . .

>>> In the back room.............

CROW: (Jessie) You know what, people really need to start taking care of those avalanches.

>> Haunter closes the door and locks it while Jessie and Meowth sit at a table. Jessie watches

> him closely. Jessie:"What is it you want? I'm a very busy person." Haunter sits down,

> draping his cape behind the chair. Haunter:"I have important new concerning your recent

> assignment." Meowth:"What assignment? We're on vacation!"

SERVO: (Haunter) Your math assignment. Giovanni gave you the wrong assignment.

> Haunter glares at him, then returns his gaze to Jessie. Haunter:"Word has gotten out

> somehow that Team Rocket plans on swiping all the pokemon at the tournament...." He

> looks suspiciously at Meowth. Jessie follows suit. Meowth looks back at them with

> surprise. Meowth:"Don't look at me! I haven't said a thing!" Haunter:"Regardless of

> whoever it was that leaked the information, the fact is that some got out. Due to this, the

> tournament has been moved up by a week in order to try to keep Team Rocket out."

JESSICA: Well, that seems pointless and dumb.

> Jessie:"Then that means...." Meowth:"We've only got one week left for vacation?!"

> Haunter nods his head. Haunter:"Correct." Jessie makes a fist in anger. Jessie:"Oh, just

> wait until I find out who's been blabling their big mouth. They'll pay for ruining my

> vacation!"

CROW: (Jessie) And blowing my chances to score with James! I mean- oops . . .

> Haunter shrugs.

JESSICA: You know, if the No-Life Sailors show up, I'm gonna sue a certain someone's butt.

CROW: You will?

JESSICA: Nah, I'll just sit back and laugh more than likely. Seeing me in a fanfic like this.

MIKE: Wait , you change into a Sailor Senshi?

JESSICA: Not here. In the No-Life Sailors fanfic.

SERVO: But it's still you.

JESSICA: No, it's another form of Jaimielée.

CROW: But I thought it was you?

JESSICA: It is me, just that I'm Jaimielée and the other Jessica. Jaimielée is both of us. Then Jaimielée has another character named Jaimielée, but she's not based after her. In fact, Jaimielée used to be Joxina A but then took on Jaimielée's name when she made her up.

MIKE: O_o, okay, never mind.

> Haunter:"Don't worry about it. That's being looked into even as we speak. Besides, you've

> still got a week left." With that, he rises and unlocks the door, motioning for Jessie and

> Meowth to leave. They do so, leaving Haunter alone in the room.

CROW: (Jessie) Who was that caped moron anyway?

> He shuts and locks the door, then hits a button underneath the table where he was sitting.

SERVO: (Haunter) Ah-ah-ah-ah, v-vibrat-ting-g ch-chair-r~ R-relax-xing-g~

> The wall opposite him slides aside revealing a large viewscreen. He then pulls out a

> remote, points it to the screen, and presses a button, instantly bringing it to life. On the

> screen sits a dark imposing man petting a persian.

JESSICA: Boo!

> Gionivia:"Well?"

MIKE: "Gionvia"? Heh, it's his girl-self.

CROW: While searching for an elusive Pokémon, Giovanni accidentally falls into the "Spring of Drowned Girl".

> Haunter bows before him, then stands rigid before his boss. Haunter:"I have delieverd the

> message. They were most displeased. I seriously doubt it was one of those two."

> Gionivia:"What about the third memeber?" Haunter:"I..um....he wasn't here." Gionivia

> rises in rage. Gionivia:"What do you mean he wasn't with them? Where is he then?"

SERVO: (Giovanni) Well, _I_ say he is, therefore he IS there! I AM the God!

> Haunter:"I don't know sir. All I know is that there was no Male with them when I went to

> deleiver the message." Gionivia sits back down. Gionivia:"What do you mean by that?"

> Haunter:"A young girl was sitting with them, but she was not a member of Team Rocket." > Gionivia:"Hmmmm..........Interesting. Jessie hasn't been known to get along well with

> other females.

CROW: Thank goodness, too.

MIKE: I dunno, would James be counted as one?

JESSICA: James is an "it", like Zarbon.

> Keep an eye on them. Both of them." Haunter:"I shall assign someone from my team

> immidiatly." Gionvia:"Good. Gionvia out."

SERVO: (Giovanni) Sorry, that was my sister, Gionvia, she wanted to play Barbies again.

> The screen goes blank. Suddenly, the door is unlocked and opened. Haunter quickly hits

> another button on his remote, causing the wall to slide back into place. He turns around to

> see Kilra. Kilra:"Well? How did it go?" Haunter breaths a sigh of relief.

CROW: My heart was pounding as well. I thought it was a café worker!

> Haunter:"As well as can be expected." Kilra:"That's good to hear." He shuts the door.

> Kilra:"Any new orders?" Haunter:"Just to watch Jessie and her new found female

> companion. Other than that, no." Kilra smiles. Kilra:"Oh. I'd like to voulanteer. I'll gladly

> sacrafice my postion as assistant manager to this op to watch them." Haunter glares at

> him.

MIKE: Wait, Kilra is a HE? I thought it was a SHE.

JESSICA: Shsh, you're only going to make your head hurt more.

MIKE: Details! Details!

> Haunter:"I think not. Crystal Dawn's Jigglypuff should be suffeciant enough."

ALL: Awwww . . .

> Kilra slumps in dissapointment. Kilra:"Very well."

CROW: (Kilra) Geez, first I wasn't allowed to stare at tile and now I can't watch the two girls!

> Haunter opens the door and walks out, followed shortly by Kilra. He then turns around

> abrubtly to Kilra. Haunter:"By the way, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to

> greet the customers?" Kilra:Um............" Haunter sighs. Haunter:"Nevermind. We've got

> to prepare the café for another inspection." Kilra:"Another one? BUt, we just past one the

> other day." Haunter:"I know. But, appearenlty we've not past them all."

SERVO: Past what? To inspect a room you have to go into the past? I'm so confused.

JESSICA: I think I'll have to go to these fanfics and read them. Maybe THEN I might comprehend.

>>> Back at the table......................

MIKE: Two more sentences have just been trapped under another avalanche.

>> Misty sits alone with Luna and Artimidious, sipping on here drink.

CROW: (Misty) No one likes me but cats . . .

> Luna:"What's taking her so long?" Misty:"She probably stoped to put some more hair

> spray in her hair."

SERVO: Jessie is probably the main cause for the hole in the Ozone layer.

> Jessie and Meowth can now be seen walking back to the table. Misty:"See? There she is."

> Jessie sits back down, followed by Meowth. Misty:"So, what was that all about?"

> Jessie:"None of your business you little twerp. It's top secret." Meowth:"Yea, so don't

> even bother trying to find out." Misty growls back at them. Misty:"Oh yea? Well, I didn't

> really want to know anyways. Probably just some stupid meeting on hole diging."

JESSICA: Hey, hole digging is a very good hobby! I like it very much!

> Jessie stands instantly, ready to smack Misty upside the head. Jessie:"Why you little....."

> Luna:"Will you two knock it off? People are staring!" Jessie and Misty look around.

> Indeed, everyone is looking directly at them. Including a woman in black suit with what

> looks like a police badge on her left pocket. Jessie takes one look at the badge, then stops.

> Jessie:"We'll finsih this later. Come on Meowth, we're leaving." She turns to leave,

> followed by Meowth, but is stoped by the lady. Lady:"Excuss me, but would you be

> willing to answer some brief questions about this café? It's for an inspection."

SERVO: (Jessie) I would love to but, uh, this isn't my café.

> Jessie:"Um..............sure....I guess." The lady hands Jessie a sheet of paper and a crystal

> like pen. The pen starts to glow.

CROW: Preeeety colors~

> Lady:"So, you're the one." Jessie:"Huh?" Lady:"Enough with this, hand over the silver

> imperium crystal!" Jessie:"What?!" Lady:"You don't get it do you?" She starts to laugh.

> Lady:"Perhaps this will convince you. Doppleganger split!"

JESSICA: Ewww . . .

MIKE: Oh no, let's pray no one will be *doppled*.

ALL: (shudder)

> The lady starts to spin in place. Jessie:"What's going on?" Everyone is now staring at the

> spinning lady. Soon, she splits into two,

JESSICA: Ewww . . .

> and there are now two spinning figures.

SERVO: That's what "split into two" usually means.

> When the first one stops, it looks just like sailor comet, save for black hair, and a darker

> uniform. The second soon stops. It looks exactly like sailor Nerid, save for the black hair

> and darker uniform as well.

CROW: Sure. Hey, Mike, can I save for black hair and a darker costume?

MIKE: If you can promise not to squander your money on food and comics.

CROW: Sounds too hard, never mind.

> The crowd of people in the café now make a made dash for the door, seing as this is not a

> normal thing.

JESSICA: Are you kidding? See it happen in Idaho all the time.

> Jessie:"Wha....what?" Luna yells out to here. Luna:"It's a monster from the negaverse!

SERVO: (exaggerated shock) No!

> Quick, transform!" Jessie:"Huh? Oh, right." She grabs her wand thingy from her pocket.

MIKE: Henshin pen! Henshin pen! Henshin pen!!!!!

OTHERS: Woah!

CROW: Geez, Otaku, calm down.

MIKE: (fumes silently)

SERVO: (to Jessica) He's acting weird, isn't he?

JESSICA: (nods) Uh-huh.

> Jessie:"Comet power!" Misty did likewise. Misty:"Nerid power!" sparks and ribbons fly

> from the wands across the two. When the show is done,

CROW: Wait! What happend to the music! What a rip off! I want my money back.

> there stand sailor comet and sailor Nerid. Meowth just stares at them. Luna:"Meowth,

> here!" She does a flip in the air, and a similar wand appears.

SERVO: Then Luna fell on her neck and broke it. The end.

> She grabs it, and tosses it to Meowth. Luna:"Take this and yell out Kilrah Power!"

> Meowth takes the wand and stares at it dumbfounded. Meowth:"Huh?" Luna:"Just do it!"

> Meowth shrugs. Meowth:"Um..... ok." He holds the wand up. Meowth:"Kilrah power!"

JESSICA: What Meowth doesn't know is that that phrase with that henshin pen will actually kill him.

> Sparks and ribbons fly out from the wand covering Meowth. When they disapear, Meowth

> stands there as sailor Kilrah, wearing a green dress. Meowth:"What?! I'm a girl?

> AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I'm a girl! I'm wearing a dress! AAaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!"

ALL: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! IT'S DISTURBING!!!!!

> Sailor comet and Sailor Nerid stare at her, and laugh. Sailor comet:"hahahahahaha!

> Meowth in a dress! This is rich!" Sailor Nerid:"Meowth, I never knew you could look so

> cute!"

ALL: (make various sick-to-their-stomaches sounds)

> Sailor Kilrah regains her composure and glares at the two other scouts. Sailor

> Kilrah:"Stop laughing at me!" The sailor look alikes clear their throats and speak as one.

> Salior look aliks:"Arhem. Could we get on with this?"

MIKE: (evil scouts) It's too complicated for us just to attack you while you are preoccupied.

OTHERS: Plot hole!

> The three scouts look at eachother, then them. Sailor comet:"oh, yea. um....sure. just wait > a sec."

SERVO: (evil scouts) No! (makes various blowing up sounds)

> She prepares for her motto. Sailor comet:"Now, prepare for trouble!" Luna and Artemis

> both ran for what little cover they could find.

CROW: (Luna and Artemis) Run from the evil motto! Run-- Oh...my...god...

OTHERS: What?

CROW: NyaseoftheRocketGang spelled Artemis' name right!

ALL: (cheer and congratulate)

> "And make it double!", Nereid followed. "To protect our world from the Negaverse!",

> Comet continued, trying to look more formidable.

JESSICA: Which is hard to do in sailor fuku.

> "To place their evil under our curse!", Nereid said, glass crunching under her boots. "To

> defend the values of all us girls!",

MIKE: Sure, leave us boys in the dust. Let the Negaverse kill US.

> Comet continued. From her hiding place, Luna rolled her eyes.

SERVO: And they fell out of her head and under Comet's boot.

> "To protect the people in our world!", Nereid shouted. "Sailor Comet!" "Sailor Nereid!"

> "Get ready for defeat....", Comet said, pointing directly at the monster. "And a lot of pain,

> too!", Nereid continued, bringing a fist up to her chin.

CROW: (Nereid) Now why did I just punch myself?

> "In the name of our world, we will punish you!", they shouted in unison. Sailor Kilrah

> jumps in front of them. Sailor Kilrah:"Meow....." Sailor comet hits her over the head.

> Sailor Kilrah:"Ow! I mean...er......Kilrah, that's right!" The two sailor look alikes look at

> each other, then do exactly as the orginals did, save for Kilrah's part. Sailor Comet:"huh?"

JESSICA: (Comet) Does our speech look THAT ridiculous?

> Suddenly, malchite and prince darian appear above each of the look alikes. Malchite

> chuckles. Malchite:"Sailor comet, sailor Nereid, meet your dopplegangers, Wicked comet,

> and despicalble Nerid.

MIKE: I don't like that word, "wicked". Sounds perverted.

SERVO: Wicked Lady!

MIKE: I prefer Black Lady.

CROW: But *Wicked* sounds so cool!

JESSICA: Don't make me hurt you.

CROW: Ooooo.

JESSICA: Stop that!

> Identical to you in every way, save for some minor differences.

CROW: How about saving for minor differences? Can I afford that?

MIKE: No, then you'll have to stop buying food, comics, video tapes and cut off your cable.

CROW: Darn the luck! Darn!

> Not to mention the fact they work for me." Prince Darian:"You might as well hand over

> the Silver Imperium Crystal. You cannont defeat yourselves." Sailor Nerid:"We don't have

> any stupid crystal! When will you get that through your thick skulls?" Sailor

> Comet:"Besides, she looks nothing like me. I'm far more gorgeous." Wicked comet:"Ha!

> You wish! Everyone knows that I look the best!" Sailor Comet:"You wish! Nothing can

> beat the original's beuty!"

SERVO: Let this be a lesson to those who say "Yes!" to cloning.

> Malchite:"Enough! Just give us the crystal and we'll be on our way and you can go back to

> your self-centered life agian."

JESSICA: Hey! It's fun!

> Sailor Comet:"For the last time, We don't have any crystals!" Prince Darian:"Very well

> then. Doppleganger,

CROW: Dopple them into an old baboon! Whoah, bad movie flashback whenever that word is mentioned.

> attack. Take the crystal from their rotting corpse." The evil clones bow and speak as one.

> Dopple ganger:"As you wish." Malchite and Prince Darian dissaper.

MIKE: They both have weak stomachs, they can't stand the sight of blood and dust.

> Sailor Comet:"Enough of this." She brings her hands together. Sailor comet:"Comet..."A

> glow surrounds her. Sailor comet:"Ekans......"She brings her hands closer to her. Sailor

> comet:"Bind!" She throws her hands out, sending a snakelike image of light flying towards

> wicked comet.

ALL: Ahhhh!

SERVO: Watch where you aim those! They almost hit US!

> Wicked comet does the same exact thing, sending a darker snake towards hers. They meet

> and then dissapear in a flash of light. Sailor comet:"Huh? That should have worked."

> Sailor Neried:"Here, let me try something." She clasp her hands togheter. Sailor

> Neried:"Neried.." A glow surrounds her. Sailor Nerid:"Staru..."

JESSICA: Ahem, "Staryu" . . .

> She rases her hands above her head. Sailor Neried:"Tackle!" She points her hands toward

> Dispicable Neried. But, DN does the same, and the two attacks cancel eachother out.

> Sailor Nerid:"This isn't working."

MIKE: So why don't you try fifteen more times!!!!!

CROW: Hey! I was gonna freak out at that!

MIKE: Bite me!

CROW: Mike!

SERVO: What, is it that time of the month?

JESSICA: Servo!

SERVO: Well, he's having major mood swings!

MIKE: (grabs his head) Oh, my poor head.

> Shooting star:"Their attacks and weaknesses are identical to your own."

CROW: (overcoming his offense) Poof!

JESSICA: Where'd he come from?

SERVO: Who *is* he? Another character cameo?

JESSICA: No, he's Sailor Comet's Tuxedo Mask.

SERVO: Who is it? James?

JESSICA: (exaggerated) We don't "know"!

> They turn to see shooting star

MIKE: (rubbing head) Make a wish!

CROW: I wish this would end right now.

> sitting at a table nearby.

CROW: Damn.

> SC:"Shooting star!" She goes googly eyed. SN:"Oh brother." SK:"James?!" SS:"Attack

> your opposite, that is the only way to succed."

JESSICA: (Comet) That's what we were trying to do, but it wasn't working! Duh!

SERVO: (Shooting Star) Oh, well, then. You're on your own! Bye!

> SK:"James! What on earth are you doing here?" SC turns and yells at SK. SC:"That is

> NOT James! That is Shooting star! A far better man than James will ever be!" She turns

> back to SS,

MIKE: Wasn't the S.S. the secret service for Hitler?

> but he is gone. SC:"SS, come back!" WC:"Enough with the chatter!" DN:"Let's finish

> this!" WC and DN prepare to attack. SN:"You heard SS, we have to attack our opposite!

> YOu attack DN, and I'll hit WC!" SC:"right!" They launch their attacks, hitting WC and

> DN before either has time to say the third line for their own attacks. They both fall to one

> knee. WC:"Not bad....." DN:"But......can you...." WC and DN:

SERVO: AHHHHH!!! Too many initials!!

> "Withstand our combined attack?" The two dopplegangers merge into one, creating a

> single being. SC:"Ewwwwww! Fashion disaster!"

CROW: Well, I could imagine combining Misty with Jessie would look awful, but details please?

> The being now speaks in a new voice.

JESSICA: Still done by Rachel Lillis, so it doesn't sound much different from Misty and Jessie.

> Being:"I am doppleganger, duplicator of all attacks! None can defeat me!" Doppleganger

> points both it's hands at SC and SN, sending a strange light that looks like a cross between > an ekans and a staru.

ALL: Ewwww . . .

> SN and SC:"Huh?" Luna:"Look out!" But it's too late. They both take the full force of the

> attack and are sent flying to the ground. Doppleganger just laughs. SK who has remaned

> quite now speaks up. SK:"SC! SN!" He runs towards SC and nudges her with her paws.

MIKE: (Kilrah) Even with Magical Girl powers you still stink at everything you do!

> SK:"Sc, get up!" But she doesn't move. SC and SN have been knocked unconcious.

> SK:"Now what do I do?" Suddenly, SS drops from appearantly nowhere to land

SERVO: . . . on top of his head.

> beside SC. SS:"It's up to you now SK. You must take on doppleganger." SK:"Me? But, I

> don't know....." SS:"Just do it. You'll know when you try." SK looks at SC, then back to

> SS.

CROW: (Kilrah) You suck, too!

JESSICA: I say, from now on, there shall be no more Tuxedo Mask-like characters in anime or manga. They really do nothing.

MIKE: The Tuxedo Mask in the comic actually DOES something, though.

JESSICA: Oh yeah, that lame (mocking) "Tuxedo the Smoker . . . Bomb!" attack.

MIKE: Sigh, you're right . . .

JESSICA: I'm ALWAYS right.

> SK:"Alright. I'll try." She runs up towards doppleganger. Doppleganger stops it's laughing

> then stares at SK. Doppleganger:"Oh? And who's this one?" SK:"I'm sailor Kilrah! And

> I'm going to make you pay for hurting my friends!"

SERVO: (Kilrah) Hmm, let's see, Jessie who beats on me a lot, and Misty, our enemy . . . you must pay me fifty cents.

CROW: (Doppleganger) I'll give you twenty-five.

SERVO: (Kilrah) Sold!

> Doppleganger starts laughing again. Doppleganger:"Hohohoho!

MIKE: Great, now she's imitating Santa Clause.

> This is rich! This little cat in a dress thinks it can defeat me? Hahahahahaha!" Sk's face

> turns red. SK:Grrrrrrrrr........" She goes to fury swipe it, but then a thought crosses her

> mind. What if she tried what SC and SN did? It was certainly worth a shot. SHe her arms

> in front of her.. SK:"Kilrah...." a glow surrounds her.

JESSICA: And all three of them thought it would be safe to play in that nuclear reactor.

> SK:"Fury....." She lays her arms across one another. SK:"Swipes!" She moves her paws

> swiftly away from her. A series of thin lights fly out towards the monster.

> Doppleganger:"Huh?" Suddenly, the light hits it, and several slash marks are made all over

> it. The monster cries out in pain, falls to the ground, then turns to dust, leaving the crystal

> it had on top of it's remains. SC awakens to find herself being held in SS's arms. SC:"Oh

> SS!"

CROW: (Comet) I'm not Jewish! Don't take me away! I'm truly Japanese! Ally! Ally!

> SN get's up as well. SN:"What happend?" She looks around. SN:"Where's the monster?"

> SK:"I....I....I did it." SS helps SC to her feet. SS:"I knew you could." SC just stares at SS.

> SUddenly, the crystal rises into the air, spins around, then disapears. Malchits's voice can

> be heard. Malchite:"YOu're only delaying the inevitable. That crystal will be mine. I shall

> be back." SK yells out now feeling overly confident in herself. SK:"Oh yea? You go

> ahead! I'll just beat you like I did the other!" SC and SN stare at SK. SK looks back at

> them. SK:"What?" SN and SC just shake their heads. SC turns back to give SS a kiss, but

> he has disappeared. SC:

MIKE: Okay, that's it, I can't take anymore.

SERVO: Mike?

MIKE: My head hurts and it's driving me nuts! All the abbreviations and the format and the name changes and-- my head hurts!

(Mike stands and starts to leave)

JESSICA: But, Mike? Isn't all the oxygen sucked out of the ship while we're in the theater?

MIKE: (waving hand) I'll be fine.

CROW: Take some aspirin.

JESSICA: Make it TYENOL!

(Mike leaves)

SERVO: Poor guy. All these years here have made his brain soft.

CROW: Yeah . . . Maybe we should make a new one and replace it.

SERVO: Yeah!

JESSICA: You can't do that with human brains.

SERVO: Lobotomy then?

CROW: Jessica?

JESSICA: Perhaps.

> "Hey, where'd he go? Blast it!

SERVO: Who, Mike? He just stepped out of the theater for a bit.

> One of these days I'm going to have to glue his feet to the floor."

CROW: Why would you wanna do that to Mike?

> SN:"I still say he looks like James."

JESSICA: Oh, see, they're talking about Shooting Star.

> SK:"What are you talking about? That is James! WHo else could it be?" SC:"IT IS NOT

> JAMES!" Sk and SN sweatdrop. SN:"Umm......ok...sure......" SK:"Um..yea....it's not...."

> SC sighs. SC:"Let's just get out of here." Luna and Artimeidius

CROW: Well, spelling the name right was bliss up until now.

> run up to the scouts. Luna:"Great job SK!" Artimiedious:"Yea, congratulations on your

> first day as a scout!" Suddenly,

SERVO: NyaseoftheRocketGang uses "Suddenly," a lot.

JESSICA: And I forgot to do the, "As if in a flash!" riff. Oh . . .

CROW: We'll do it from now on.

JESSICA: Okay.

ALL: As if in a flash!

> Haunter walks in followed by Kilra. Haunter look around. Haunter:"You again? I should

> have known. What a mess." Kilra:"Say, have you seen Sailor Jupitor yet?"

> Haunter:"Nevermind that. Have you seen a lady in black with a badge? She was suposed

> to be inspecting the place." SN:"Um.....

SERVO: (Nereid) Well, she turned into a youma and Sailor Kilrah killed her, so, uh . . . sorry?

> No to both questions." SC:"But, we'll tell them for you if we see them. Bye!" With that, all

> three scouts rush out of the now messy café along with the two cats.

JESSICA: Typical superhero. They destroy things and they never stay around to exchange insurance information.

> Kilra:"Say, was that a meowth in a dress with them?" Haunter:"Nevermind that. We've got

> to get this mess cleaned up. I supose we passed that inspection too." Kilra:"Yea, it seems

> that everytime there's an inspection, the sailor scouts show up, and we pass." Haunter

> thinks about this. Haunter:

CROW: (Haunter) Never mind about that.

> "Yes............" HE then turns to Kilra. Haunter:"But, also the place is left in a mess when

> they leave. Oh well. Just hurry up and clean this up." Kilra:"Me?!" Haunter:

CROW: (Haunter) Never mind about that.

> "Yes you. And if you do a good job,

SERVO: (Haunter) I may give you a cookie.

> I may tell someone else to tell the boss that we temporarily lost those too." Kilra:"Since

> you put it that way...." He starts to straiten out tables and chiars while Haunter heads back

> into the building.

>>> Back at the Cherry Hill Temple...........

JESSICA: ANOTHER avalanche! They need to to evacuate all sentences from the vicinity.

> Luna sat under a tree, watching as Jessie yelled at James and Meowth for not helping out

> with the chores again. Luna sighed as she thought to herself. Trying to get Jessie to get

> along and not complain with others is like trying to Serina to do her homework and out of

> the arcade.

CROW: (Serena) Aww, why do I need an education? I'm gonna rule the world one day, for God's sake. I can HIRE people to read and write for me!

>> THE END.

SERVO: The end, or is it? Is it always the end, or the beginning of an end for someone else. Or the end of the beginning. Or the end of the end, or a story that can, and will, continue until we end.

JESSICA: Continue to do that, Servo, and I will throw you up into the curtains and leave you there.

CROW: Hey, do that to me! Sounds like fun!

JESSICA: C'mon, let's go. We hafta give the review to Pearl then I have to go unclog the toilets.

(Jessica and Crow stands and start to leave)

SERVO: Jessica! Aren't you gonna pick me up?

JESSICA: Figure a way over the vent gate yourself, philosophy boy.

(Jessica and Crow exeunt, laughing)

SERVO: Oh, man.

(Servo hovers over to the last seat, and with a grunt and a small leap, he DOES make it over the gate, but only because his hoverskirt knocked on the edge and flipped him over.)

(Servo exeunt, sobbing)

~*~*~*~*~*~

(Warning: This end segment is long, funny and quite weird ^_^)

They all gave their reviews, but they did find it kind of odd when they mentioned that Beryl reminded them of Pearl, and then the mad scientist began to laugh nervously. Then Observer came in holding a large ball of black Energy saying, "I got all the victims' drained Energy like you asked, Pearl."

In response, she shoved him away and shouted, "Not now!" Then she turned off the communications link saying that she had some chores to do.

So, Jessica left with the plunger to the toilets, unclogging Crow's first, which was clogged with a little toy boat that he obviously tried to flush just for the fun of watching it sink. Below that she found a Leonardo DiCaprio doll, which she found disturbing. Servo's was second, and he had a Barbie doll stuck in the pipe. Jessica didn't want to even think about what it was doing there. Then she went to Mike's room, and since he would more than likely be in there trying to get over his headache, she knocked politely before entering. But no one answered. She pounded on the door, and still no response, so she opened the door and walked in.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Servo and Crow were silently standing in the bridge, contemplating robot thoughts, when they were rudely interrupted by a panicked Jessica, rushing in and flinging a plunger about wildly. "I can't find Mike!" she screamed. "I looked in his room and anywhere else he might be, and he wasn't there! It's like he disappeared or something!"

The robots glanced at her, then glanced at each other, giving thoughtful hums. "Not here?" Crow repeated.

"Like he disappeared?" Servo added.

They all turned to look at the the communications screen. "Pearl?"

Castle Forrester:

They all saw an odd thing when the screen came on. By the inter-dimensional computer that Rob had sent the mad scientist and her henchmen, was a coffin-like, crystal container. Behind it was Bobo and Observer, writing down observations, of course. To Jessica and the 'Bots' shock, inside the container was the missing Mike Nelson! He was laying in it with black Energy "bzzting" around him.

Satellite of Love:

Jessica and the 'Bots, compassion etched into their faces, (well, Jessica's, at least), leaned forward, and the girl shouted, "Pearl! What are you doing to Mike?!"

"Yeah!" Servo and Crow yelled defiantly.

CF:

Pearl, dressed strangely similar to Queen Beryl, came into view, and she said, "Nothing! We aren't doing a thing to Mike."

SoL:

"Nothing?!" Jessica exclaimed with gasps from the robots. "I've watched too many Sailor Moon episodes to know that you are brainwashing him!"

CF:

Cackling, Pearl nodded. "Ah, you guys proved too smart for me! And I shall get that sceptre! General Brain Guy, is he prepared?"

The Observer and Bobo, dressed like Beryl's generals, both saluted and the omnipotent albino said, "Yes, my Queen, he is ready!"

Bobo added on, hopping from excitement, "He doesn't remember a thing, Lawgiver!" Observer jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow. "I mean, my Queen!"

"Good, send him back up, Brain Guy."

With a small "pop", Mike was gone from the crystal container.

SoL:

There was another pop and Servo, Crow and Jessica glanced over at Mike, who had appeared beside them. Then they all began to laugh. He was dressed in a mask and in the armor of Prince Endymion. "Pearl! What did you do to poor Mike?" Crow asked between laughs.

CF:

"He is no longer the Tuxie-Mike that you once knew!" she replied.

SoL:

Resuming a serious face, Jessica shouted in frustration, "He never WAS Tuxie-Mike to begin with!"

"Excuse me," Mike, or should I say, Prince Michael, interrupted her and the 'Bots who were both snickering. "But I need that sceptre with the Silver Imperium Crystal!"

The 'Bots looked over at Jessica. "Do you know what he's talking about?" Servo asked.

"Not a blinkin' thing," she answered. "Uhm," she held up the plunger. "Do you mean this?"

"Yes!" he held out a fist, trying to threaten her. "Give me the sceptre or else! Don't make me hurt you!"

Giving Prince Michael an odd look, she wove the plunger. "This isn't a sceptre! This is a plunger! I was unclogging the toilets like you told me to. Remember?"

"Give it to me!" He pushed the 'Bots out of the way and advanced on Jessica, who backed away.

"No!" she clutched the plunger close to her chest. "This is my plunger!"

Michael was halted in his steps as Servo and Crow stepped in front of him, blocking Jessica. They laughed a little, and Servo asked, "Mike--"

"Prince Michael," he corrected.

"Er, Prince Michael, what the hell is up with that mask?"

"It makes you look like an idiot," Crow stated, barely able to contain his mirth.

"It hides my perfection," he responded, nudging it with a finger.

"What perfection?" they both inquired, bursting out into a new fit of giggling.

Growling, Michael shoved them out of his way once more and stood in front of Jessica, who was backed up against a wall, the plunger behind her back. "Give me that sceptre!"

"No! It's a plunger and I need it to unclog YOUR toilet, Mike, I mean, Michael!"

"Well," he became calmer and he folded his cape in front of him, "since you won't hand me the sceptre willingly, it looks like I will have to seduce you."

The brunette's jaw dropped to the floor. "WHAT!?"

"Seduce you." He flipped out the cape and refolded it again in front of his body. "Aren't I handsome and debonair?"

"No! You're Mike!" Panicking, fearing he would try to kiss her or something, she pushed him off to the side and ran over to the 'Bots who had finally quit laughing.

"What do we do?" Crow asked her.

"You've seen Sailor Moon more than we have!" Servo whispered, as Michael was picking himself up off the ground from where Jessica had shoved him.

"I guess I can use those resources. Uhm, I can do like in the manga."

"Which was?"

"Well, I take the Imperium Crystal Sword and stab Mike with it, then stab myself. Then the Crystal should protect us and keep us alive."

Servo and Crow glanced at each other. "We can't do THAT!" they hollered.

"Well," she sighed and searched through her clouded memory. "I remember some stuff from this one episode. I don't know if it happened in this order, but--"

"Just do it! But make sure you don't kill yourself or Mike while you're at it!"

"Okay! Just a sec."

She ran off the bridge just as Mike reached the 'Bots. He looked around and asked them, "Where'd Princess Jessica go?"

"Dunno," they both replied.

Then she came back, dressed in Serenity-hime's gown, but she didn't have the crescent moon on her forehead and she was still wearing her glasses. She held onto the plunger still and a bar of Zest that had a rope going through it in her other hand. "Okay, Tom, Crow, stand over there, you are ghosts."

"No, we're not!" they exclaimed, insulted.

"YES YOU ARE!" she screamed, obviously under a lot of stress. "You died protecting me."

"Uhhhhh," they began to back up, now nervous. "Okay . . ."

"All right, that's good. Ahem." In a fairly decent copy of Serena's fake "princess" voice, Jessica kneeled in front of Michael holding out the Zest on a rope, and she said compassionately, "All you have to do is touch it!"

"WHAT!?" Servo exclaimed. "Jessica! Bad girl!"

She sighed and wove the soap. "The locket, you pervert! The locket!"

"Oh, okay."

He settled by Crow, but then the gold 'Bot realized something. "Hey! That isn't a locket! It's a bar of soap!"

"IT'S A LOCKET!" she screeched, quite furious.

"Whatever!" he yelled back, just as angry.

"Okay," she took a deep breath. "Where was I? Oh yeah." In the "princess" voice again, she continued. "All you have to do is touch it!"

Michael, uncomfortable now, looked about, then down at her. "Why?"

"Just do!"

Reluctantly, he reached out and touched the "locket". Nothing happened. "Now what?"

"Hold on," she replied, holding up a hand. She grabbed the plunger and leapt to her feet, dropping the "locket". "Now! For the attack! Tom! Music, please!"

"What?" He hovered closer to her.

"The music! I need the music!"

He hovered over to a boom box. "This is all we have." He pressed the "Play" button on the tape player.

The music blared out, but it wasn't quite what Jessica had in mind.

"I wish that I had . . . Jesse's girl! -danananana- Jesse's girl!"

She spun around and wove the plunger at Servo dangerously. "Not that one! The spritely, teenage idol one!"

"Ohhh!" Servo breathed, inspiration hitting him. "You mean the CD we never listen to!" He pressed the "Play" button on the CD player and the annoying, yet sadly catchy song began.

"Here I'm standing in the night, my crescent wand the only light, alone against my darkest fears, But I sense my friends are near . . ."

"That's the one!" Jessica smiled and winked at Servo, then returned to the completely baffled Prince Michael. "Okay, now." She held the plunger behind her and said in the "princess" voice, "I can't do this alone! Please, help me!"

Michael pointed to himself. "Uh, me?"

"No! Tom and Crow!"

"But I thought we were ghosts!" Crow whined, just as bemused as the brainwashed man.

"You are!"

"Then what can we do?!"

"Just shout out your names!"

"Why? What good can that do?"

"I dunno! They do in Sailor Moon, though, and it seems to work out well. So do it!"

The 'Bots sighed, and Servo shouted, "Uhhh, Tom Servo!"

"Crooooow!"

"That's good, guys. Now, my turn. Cosmic Moon Power, Unite!" She did a few swing moves with the plunger and held it in front of Michael's face. But nothing happened. "What the?" She brought it in front of her face and scratched her head. "Why didn't that work?" Then she remembered and chuckled nervously. "Oh, yeah! It's just a plunger."

Michael, wiping sweat off his face with his cape, asked, "So, does that mean I can have it?"

"No!" she said for the utmost time. "I need it to unclog the toilets! How many times do I need to tell you?"

"We need the unclogging powers that it holds to take over the world!" He began to laugh evilly.

Jessica backed up a few paces to stand next to Servo and Crow as the man cackled. "Well," Servo began, "that didn't work."

Jessica thought for a second until an idea hit her. "Here, lemme try this idea. I remember it from Rocket Princess II. Thank you Chibi Team Rocket!" She ran off and she returned a second later dressed in a Team Rocket uniform, her hair dyed blue. She stalked up before Michael and she punched him in the nose, knocking his mask off. The 'Bots and Mike all gasped in horror. "How dare you kiss Jessie, you jerk!"

"What?" Michael cried, holding onto his red nose.

"You know full well what I mean!" And after she said that, she pounced on him and began to beat the living tar out of him. After a second or two of this, Jessica finally backed off and held her hand out behind her. "Throw me a rose!" she ordered. And one of the robots did, and she caught it and held it out in front of her, diamond-tipped stem pointing toward Michael's face. She grabbed his cape and pulled him forward. She tried to jab his eye out, but he dodged it.

Eyes wide with terror, he shrieked, "What do you think you're doing?!"

Calmly, she held the rose up again and responded, "I'm trying to poke your eye out! So, will you please lean your left eye toward me."

"Why are you doing this!?" he sobbed.

She shrugged. "It made Tuxedo Mask return to normal in the fanfic. Now, c'mere!"

She jabbed at him again and he shrieked. "Ahh!!!!! I'm healed! I'm healed! I'm Mike! Plain Mike Nelson! I was never Tuxie-Mike or Prince Michael! I'm free of the brainwash!"

Jessica smiled and threw the rose away behind her, hearing a faint "Ouch!" from Crow. She pulled Mike up to his feet and released her grip on his cape. She brushed her blue hair out of her eyes and put an arm around Mike's armored shoulders, patting his back. "Good to have you back, Mike!"

Crow and Servo came beside them, Crow on Jessica's side with the rose sticking out his left eye. "Well, that certainly was exciting and confusing! And this rose, ouch!"

Mike, wiping blood off his face, retorted, "You can say that again!"

And all four began to laugh cheerfully until . . .

The End

QUEEN PEARL: Damn! Foiled again!

SERVO: The end, or is it? Is it always the end, or the beginning of an end for someone else. Or the end of the beginning. Or the end of the end, or a story that can, and will, continue until we end.

QUEEN PEARL: Bobo, attack Servo.

BOBO: Okey dokey, Lawgiver-- I mean, my Queen.

SERVO: Argh!

______________________________________________________________________________

Ah, funny, wasn't that ending? This is what happens when Maelstrom and I start to brainstorm. Fun, huh? I actually thought it was hilarious. Maelstrom deserves most of the credit, she started it and dragged it out, but I typed it down and wrote it, and with my memory, I should be awarded for actually remembering half of what we said. But, Maelstrom can be fun, and I found my SM lyric sheet, so that was good luck on my part 'coz, even though I had memorized that "Give Me the Strength to Carry On" song, for the life of me I couldn't remember it! Same with "Jesse's Girl" that chorus line was all I remembered. But, I think we handled it wonderfully. That's why Mike was acting strange in the theater, Pearl was sending up that evil Energy to drag him out of the theater so she could kidnap him without Jessica and the 'Bots noticing. Hmmm, happy times.

It took all my will-power not to write "DiCRAPio" instead of "Decaprio". ^_^

And where did my idea of "Tuxie-Mike" come from? Go read one of my SoD comics, "The Battle of the Anime Stars". Servo is gorgeous dressed in a Sailor Moon fuku, Mike is handsome in a Tuxedo Kamen suit, Crow is cute as Pikachu, and drawing Mr. Piccolo's dressings on Jessica was an interesting experience to say the least.

But, uh, this was quite an interesting story. A lot of initials, and a lot of name changes and character cameos. Nyase...Gang assured me, however, that everyone knew that he was using their characters, so I'm like, oh, then, so neither of us won't get our butt's kicked. Well, I've gotta go! Dinner time. Yum.

But first, a quote from "Cave Dwellers":

(while reading the credits)

CROW: "David Cain Haughten"? Wasn't he an assassin?

SERVO: No, you're thinking of Lee Harvey Oswald.

JOEL: No, it was James Earl Ray.

CROW: No, no, Mark David Chapmen.

SERVO: Or John Wilks Booth.

JOEL: No, it was Arthur Brommel.

'BOTS: Huh?

JOEL: Arthur Brommel.

'BOTS: Oh . . . oh, oh, yes.

(Arthur Brommel was another castmember of "Cave Dwellers" ^_^)

And a couple from Space Ghost Coast to Coast just 'coz I have a couple of seconds on my hand:

ZORAK: Would you feel better if I jab you in the eye?

And . . .

OZONE: But I'm Commander! Commander Ozone! My real name's Herbert.

That's all! Goodbye!

______________________________________________________________________________

"Hey, where'd he go? Blast it! One of these days I'm going to have to glue his feet to the floor."

c Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom

(Next "week's" episode-

"Episode Eight: One Too Many,

Angie Forgets About Bardok?!")