"The Satellite of 'Dite,

the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"

By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom

Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!

Smut: Uh~ debated

Violence: Hm~ debated



"Episode Two (Part B): Rocket Princess II,

Jessica Acts as a Mediator,

Kasey Kills Mini-Me,

and Cleo Attacks Austin Powers"

Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. "Rocket Princess" belongs to Chibi Team Rocket.

Quick Notes I: Shampoo and Mousse are still in the theater with Angie and Vegeta. I hope I did well with them! Did I? Worry worry . . . See, I only have one manga with them in it, and I've only seen two episodes with Shampoo and one with Mousse, so they might be one dimensional, I don't know. I think I made Mousse more sarcastic than he truly is, but I wouldn't know, would I? All I know is that he freaks easily, is hurt easily, is blind as a bat and can make nifty weapons appear out of nowhere. Shampoo, all I really know is that she's a sneaky little Amazon with bad grammar with a knack to make "magical" thingies like waterproof soap.

A Big Thanks: Thank you Chibi Team Rocket! I'm so happy happy that you let me use your fanfics! And, I would like to say, I really DO love these stories of hers, and that's why I figured I should use them for my first MSTing work. But I insist to readers, PLEASE try to read these fanfics I riff BEFORE you read the MSTing. A lot of these stories I feel are good, and that's why I want to use them, some are crappy, but not this one! And if you can't find the stories, like the one in Episode 4, which was written speciafically only for me, won't be on the 'Net, so don't sweat it if you can't read the 'fic alone before the MST. I just strongly recomend it.

Quick Notes II: This MSTing was just too long, so I split it up into Part A and B, but it is still all one episode. (This is where the mediator and "killing" Mini-Me part comes in ^_^)

Jaimielée's Sigh: This is going to take soooooo long! O_o Too many pages . . . Even split it's too many pages . . . But it's my fault, I asked for it . . .

Abbreviation: R-D means Reality Dimension, referring to the dimension where the Captains, Angie and Rob came from, more specifically, OUR dimension. I'm a big fan of realms and dimensions and alternet planes of living, aren't I?



~*~*~*~*~*~



"Aa, Shampoo eat too much . . ." the Chinese Amazon groaned, looking a bit green around the lips. Mousse would have responded, but he had fallen asleep long before, having eaten himself to sleep. Angie and Vegeta, however, are still scarfing down food as if it were their last meal. "How can Angie eat so much? Monkey-boy me can understand, but R-D Earth girl?"

Swallowing some of her hamburger, Angie replied, "I'm related to Captain Jessica!" She took another bite out of the burger. "All of our family eats like this!" She ate the rest of it, adding with a mouthful of food, "We jusht don'th know when tho sthop!" -swallow-

"If only me eat like that and no get fat."

"Oh," she wove her hand as she started on a chicken leg, "we gain weight! Believe you me! I have a fast metabolism though, so I stay in the low hundreds. But some of you anime folks!" She threw the bone to a Growlithe, "You guys can down somethin' in 3 seconds! We take awhile to eat, we can just eat a lot. Besides, you can't get fat, Shampoo."

"Why not?" she asked, sipping some tea, hoping it would calm her stomach.

"It would take away from your beauty and elegance! Can't have that unless if it's part of the plot-line. Then by the end of the line, you'd be back to normal, or at least in the next story you'd be back to normal." Then she ran back to the buffet table and grabbed a few sundaes for dessert.

Shampoo nodded, for that was pretty much true.

"Imagine," Vegeta remarked, shoving his empty plate aside. "All this hubbub for a barrel full of hair."

Mousse snorted awake for a moment, to say, "Hair! Saotome Ranma, kono yogore . . ." Then he nodded off again.

Shampoo gave him a strange glare, and muttered, "Mousse eat too much, having weird dream."

Right as Angie returned to her chair with three sundaes, two hot fudge and one caramel, the fanfic sign went off. Jessica, long down at the end of the table, stood and waved to those four. "That's your cue! Better hut to it, or Rob'll be mad!"

Angie swore and shouted that she was going to take her dessert into the theater, and she walked off. Vegeta and Shampoo had to pick Mousse up and carry him to the door themselves.

~*~*~*~*~*~

(Angie sits in her seat, happily eating the ice cream, and Shampoo and Mousse walk in and set the sleeping boy in his chair, then they go to theirs.)

ANGIE: <throwing container off to side> Better wake him up! Rob'll be pissed.

SHAMPOO: <shaking Mousse> Wake up, Mousse! "Review" time. Robu-san be angry!

MOUSSE: <starting awake> Hai, Robu-san! I WILL obey! <wide awake and frightened>

VEGETA: All rightee then, onto chapter 11, up to 20!

ANGIE: <throwing last container off to the side> This'll be great.

(the flying toasters disappear and a picture pops up.)

(Header pix for second half of RP2, it is of the 4 Brothers, Mary with the mace and blood, and little pixes of Jessie and James below.)

[cannot be shown for technical reasons, you know the rest]

VEGETA: Let's test our remembering skills. The one with the beret is Shack, the blond is Dack, the green haired one is Black and the ponytailed one is Frack, and the girl is, uh, Lack?

ANGIE: Close, Vegeta-kun.

SHAMPOO: Shampoo remember blond Jack, green Tack, which one Mack, which one Zack?

MOUSSE: Does it matter? I think all we need to know is that the mace wielding lady is Bloody Mary, and down below is Jessie and James.

SHAMPOO: Mousse take all fun out of this.

MOUSSE: I'm still so TIRED!

[chapter index, 1-20]

______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 11 -"Digging For Clues"



ANGIE: (gangster voice) Damn, the coppers are onto us!



Mary exited the warehouse. She was very excited at how well her plan was going. Suddenly,



SHAMPOO: As if in flash!



she saw her brothers running towards her.

"MARY!"

"What the Hell? Weren't you guys supposed to ambush Jessie?" She held her hand out in front of her, and Jack bumped into it.



VEGETA: Unfortunately for Mary, he was going quite fast and it shattered her arm in three different places.



Then Zack, who was behind him, bumped into Jack. Mack and Tack followed after, respectively.

"We tried," Jack said, gasping for hair. "But she used her Powers and knocked us against the wall."

"She almost killed us, Mary!" Tack yelled.



MOUSSE: (Tack, as little kid) Then she called us monsters and-and, we're going to go tell on her to the Boss!



Mary blinked. "So, Jessie DOES have Powers..." The terrified brothers nodded.

Mack grabbed Mary's arm. "And she's following us!"

"She'll find this hideout of ours." Zack said.



SHAMPOO: Especially since you lead her there! Aho!



"No matter," Mary sighed.



ANGIE: She had to accept that her brothers were complete imbeciles, there was nothing she could do about it.



Jack looked at her as if she were crazy.



VEGETA: You tellin' me she's not?



"Whaddaya mean 'No matter'? She'll ruin our plans!"

His sister shook her head. "Nope. I've got all the dirt I need to take Jessie down."



MOUSSE: (deeply) You going DOWN!!!!



She motioned for her brothers to huddle and told them of Jessie's past.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James sat in the warehouse by himself. He was a pitiful sight to look at



SHAMPOO: He loser and everyone let him know that.



- Sitting on the dusty ground with a rope tied around him, tear stains on his cheek, bloodshot eyes, a big gash from Mary's weapon in the back of his head, and a dirty uniform.



VEGETA: (dramatically) And worse of all! A DIRTY uniform!

ALL: GASP!



He sobbed and moaned, repeating, "Jessie..." over and over again.

Meowth, who looked no better than James, dangled by the rope he hung from. He watched James disgustedly.



ANGIE: Oh, as if HE has the right to do that, the smarmy kitty!



There were reasons for this.



MOUSSE: Meowth was a self-righteous son of a Growlithe, for one.



For one thing, James was a member of Team Rocket.



ALL: What?

VEGETA: But isn't Meowth-- oh, forget it.



To see him moping around was not very good for their image. For another, he had betrayed Jessie. "You both disgust me," Meowth finally said to both James and Meowthy.



SHAMPOO: (Meowth) You James are too handsome for own good, you disgust me. Meowthy, you sleep with Pokémon for money, you disgust me.

ANGIE: Yuck, Shampoo!



Meowthy looked up at him again. James still didn't meet Meowth's eyes. The two didn't say a word. Meowth continued. "Both of you only care about yourselves.



MOUSSE: Even though James was trying to save Meowth's life and not his own . . .



You risk your moronic lives for your own happiness and den expect people to praise you?"



VEGETA: That's about the gist of it, yup.



This was a little too much for James.



ANGIE: Too much cream in his coffee! He HATED when that happens!



Meowth was usually never the voice of reason. To hear him say things



SHAMPOO: . . . like "pulchritudinous" and "shenanigan" really confuse hell out of him!



that actually meant well made his heart break. James finally looked up at his Pokémon companion. "I wanted you to live, Meowth. You're my friend."



ALL: (Bender, drawled out) You're my frieeeeeeeeeeeend . . .

MOUSSE: I wonder how many people will get that joke?



"And who is Jessie?"



VEGETA: (Meowth) Is Jessie a parasite, is she a hard-boiled egg? Tempura? Is she Courtney Love?



Meowth hounded,



ALL: Yuck!



making James feel more guilty. "Listen to me, James. I used to think of Meowth. No more. No less. Everything I did was for MY well-being. I wanted to be Top Cat and rule over supreme. But den..." A tear fell from Meowth's eye. "...I found love."



ANGIE: (Meowth) So, what I'm basically trying to say is that I still only think of myself, but now in different ways. See?

SHAMPOO: Yuck, Angie!

ANGIE: Getting back at me for last time, huh?

SHAMPOO: Yup.



Meowthy nearly jumped out of her skin.



VEGETA: (Meowthy) Ew! There's a Weedle! Weedle weedle weedle!!!!!



She could not hold it in anymore. Her tears flowed like raindrops. "Meowth..."

Meowth ignored her. "At least, I thought I had found it."



MOUSSE: (Meowth) But as it turned out, it was only heartburn from those six burritos I had had the other day.



Meowthy looked down.



SHAMPOO: (Meowthy) Me panic, ate Weedle, now me poisoned . . .



"But, I must say, love is da greatest thing to a Pokémon...



ANGIE: No it isn't . . . They probably only follow their hormones, like most animals.



And human in da world. You can never find anything more precious. It's not something to waste, James. Dat's why I'm telling you this! True love only comes once, and dat's it. Once Jessie is gone,



VEGETA: (Meowth) . . . you WILL be mine! Bwahahahahahah! No wait! Oops . . .



you won't have anyone. And what's worse, is Mary will have you."

James thought he would die. Everything Meowth said was true. His body trembled and his eyes were glossy.



ANGIE: The real James was replaced by a yarn doll James!



"I'll never find anyone like Jessie..." he whispered.

Alone, in a corner, Meowthy cried hard. "And I'll never find anyone like Meowth..."



MOUSSE: (sobbing) It's a friggen tearfest! Stop crying! STOP IT NOW!!!!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: All tears from fanfic gather to flood land.



Darien and Serena carefully pushed open the door of the Head Quarters.



VEGETA: (makes wussy-grunt sounds)



They tip-toed in, trying not to make any noise.



ANGIE: Lucky for them, the Rocket members are all off on the company picnic.

MOUSSE: (Rocket member) Wow, the Boss serves the volleyball really well!



"Let's hope no one finds us," Darien whispered.



SHAMPOO: Immediately scores of armed members descend 'pon them.



"I'd hate to bring out the caravan."



VEGETA: (Mamoru/Darien) I'd hate to see the goods that they'd be carrying at affordable prices.



"We have to find Jessie," Serena whispered excitedly. She was finally going to see her friend again. "Is there a directory in here somewhere?"



ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) Maybe this guy can help us, excuse me, Mr. Rocket, but can you show us to Jessie's room?



Then she saw a shadow coming toward her. "D-D-Darien..." She said as she shook in her shoes. Her finger trembled as she pointed in the direction of the figure.

"Not now, Serena!" Darien said.



MOUSSE: I WOULD say something there, but I decided not to.



"I'm looking up their names in this Team Rocket phone book."

"Eep!" Serena shrieked as the figure came closer.

"What?" Darien said as he turned around. He saw Serena pointing. He looked over, but saw nothing. Then he looked down and saw a little brown creature with a big red nose.

"Diglett!"



SHAMPOO & ANGIE: (SQUEAL!)

SHAMPOO: It so cute!

ANGIE: Oh oh! Wanna hold him!



"Huh?" Serena said.

"Diglett!"

Darien smiled. "It's one of those Pokémon creatures Jessie and James were talking about."



VEGETA: (Usagi/Serena) But Kenchi-papa shoots those in the backyard with Shingo's bee bee gun.



"Diglett dig!"



SHAMPOO & ANGIE: Trio trio trio!



Serena gasped. "Whew! That was a close call."



MOUSSE: Her scream, however, had alerted the guards and they swarmed down upon them.



The Diglett poked his head back underground and started burrowing away.



VEGETA: Hold it. So the Diglett is burrowing through the tile floor, the wood that is under it and the cement below that?



"Diglett dig! Diglett dig!"



SHAMPOO & ANGIE: Trio trio trio!



it chanted.

The couple laughed. "That was cute," Serena smiled.



VEGETA: (Usagi/Serena) I want it for my boyfriend, not you, Mamo-kun.



"It kind of resembled an Earth mole."



ANGIE: What OTHER kind of moles are there?

SHAMPOO: Shampoo think Shampoo see one burrow through sky once.

MOUSSE: Ah-hah! Serena admitted it! They ARE in a different place than their Earth!

VEGETA: It's probably called the "PokéEarth".



Darien went back to searching for Jessie's name. "Here it is!" he finally said. Serena ran up behind him. "Room 111."



VEGETA: Geez, first they fall off a cliff and survive, then they happen upon Team Rocket HQ, then they manage to get in without trouble, there's a PHONE BOOK, and Jessie's room number is really easy to remember. Kami-sama must like them for some strange reason.

ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) Now, what was that number again? 123?



"Let's go then!" Serena exclaimed, grabbing Darien by the arm. He pulled away.



SHAMPOO: (Mamoru/Darien) Please, no touch. You disgusting.



"Umm...Serena..."

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I just thought since you two hadn't seen each other in a long time, you'd might want to catch up."

"But Darien, we've never been here before. Don't you think that's a little dangerous?"



MOUSSE: You made it thus far, what's holding you back?



Darien shook his head. "I'll be standing here on guard. I'll come and get you when someone comes." Serena nodded happily. Darien then took her chin in his hands. "Has Tuxedo Mask ever let you down?"



VEGETA: (Usagi/Serena) Do you want me to tell you truthfully, or not?



He then kissed her. When they separated, Serena waved and ran off to find Jessie. Darien smiled and leaned against the doorway. His museum trip would have to wait. Serena was more important.



ALL: Scoff!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tack sneaked back to Team Rocket Head Quarters. Rumor had it that two intruders had found their hideout. It was a good thing their Boss,



ALL: BOO!!



Giovanni,



ALL: Oh, yeah.

ANGIE: When will that running gag die?

SHAMPOO: When one of us 'member this Giovanni not Rob they speak of.



had just installed the new Team Rocket Detect-O-meter.



VEGETA: (Giovanni) Gee, that tall, black haired man is a really strong blip on my Gay-dar.



He chuckled to himself, thinking of the horrible torture he could perform on the guests. After all, teenagers always love to have fun.



MOUSSE: (painful sob) It's a LEMON!!!!

ANGIE: It CAN'T be!

SHAMPOO: (holding out a machine) Iie, Captain Kasey and Karigari's lemon sensor no go off.

MOUSSE: Whew! That's good.



He crawled through one of the open windows and silently made his way toward the front door. He heard chanting.



VEGETA: (like Native American) Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey!!!!

ANGIE: Quite stereotypical of you.

VEGETA: It's from a New Age CD! I didn't write it!



"Diglett dig! Diglett dig!"



SHAMPOO & ANGIE: Trio trio trio!



At Tack's feet was the Diglett Serena and Darien had seen.

"Diglett!" Tack exclaimed, picking it up. "What are you doing out of your Pokéball?" The Diglett started talking to him in its Diglett-voice. "You saw the intruders?"

"Diglett!" Diglett nodded.



MOUSSE: (to the tune of "The Brits are Coming" [or a some song with that in it ^_^]) Diglett dig . . . Diglett dig . . . DiglettdigDiglettdigDiglettdig! Diglett dig dig Diglett!



Tack put it down. "Okay, you can go now. Thank you, Diglett!"

Diglett marched off again. "Diglett dig! Diglett dig! Diglett dig!"



SHAMPOO & ANGIE: Trio trio trio!

VEGETA: (Tack) And continue your project on trying to make the HQ's foundation collapse!



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 12 -"Source #3 - The Thorn of a Poison Rose"



ALL: (hums "Rose on the Grave")



Serena approached the door of room 111. This was it! This was where her dear friend. Serena smiled and knocked on the door. She waited for a while, but no answer came. Serena knocked again, harder this time. Still no answer.



ANGIE: (Usagi/Serena) Well, how rude! I'll show YOU! Moon Tiara Action! BOOM!



"She must be out," Serena thought sadly. "Oh, well. I can wait..." Serena sat outside, awaiting Jessie's return.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: (narrator voice) Fifty years later . . .



Jessie ran through every hallway, searching for Mary and her brothers. They had completely vanished. She checked the library,



SHAMPOO: Me no care what you say 'bout Team Rocket, they still good scholars.



the laboratory, the cafeteria, the gym...No trace of anyone.



MOUSSE: Maybe she should try GOING OUTSIDE!

ANGIE: Nah, it's too broad of a concept for her brain to handle.



After running for a long time, Jessie stopped to catch her breath. She leaned against a wall. This search was making her exhausted,



VEGETA: (Jessie, gasping painfully) Ran -gasp!- for a whole -wheeze!- minute! -faint-



and all she wanted to find was James.



SHAMPOO: And last piece of cheesecake.



Heck!



ALL: Gasp!

MOUSSE: Such strong language should not be used!



She'd even be satisfied if she ran into Meowth along the way.



ANGIE: (game show host voice) Okay, Jessie has all the pieces of the puzzle, but CAN she put them together?



Once five minutes had passed, Jessie



VEGETA: . . . gave up.



resumed her search. She checked every place she had already been to again, and started looking in less likely places.



SHAMPOO: (Jessie) Warehouse outside? Nah, impossible.



Nothing. Jessie was ready to cry.



MOUSSE: She just needed the perfect spot to do so, so she began looking for that.

ANGIE: (Jessie) What about that WAREHOUSE that is OUTSIDE?



It seemed her chase was endless and she hadn't found anything. She decided to go back to her room for a while and strategize a plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meowth still hung from the rope.



VEGETA: (Meowth) I'll just give myself a little push and-- Wheeeee! Look, I'm flying! Whee!



His crying was the only sound that could be heard in the empty warehouse. There were the occasional sniffs from James and Meowthy, but Meowth's



SHAMPOO: . . . acting in crying scenes more better than theirs.



sobs made them too devastated to even cry. Meowth made a small sigh.



ANGIE: (Meowth) Hey! Cool, guys! Look at this! I made a sigh!



Everything's hopeless..."

That's when James snapped. His face got angrier and his body tightened. James was not too smart, but he was strong.



VEGETA: I've personally seen him in action and no he is not.



He gathered all his hate for Mary and combined it with his passion for Jessie.



MOUSSE: And that, my friends, is what makes James' meso soup the best in the whole satellite.



With his strength, he managed to break the ropes he was bind with.



ANGIE: (squeaks)

SHAMPOO: What is it, Angie?

ANGIE: (struggling) Feel . . . Xena joke . . . building up!

SHAMPOO: Hold in!

ANGIE: (gasp) Can't!!! Huh! So he suddenly stopped being Joxer and turned into Hercules? (shoe falls and conks her on the head, but she's laughing too hard to notice) That was a good riff, Rob! You can't ruin it! Hahahahah! (a shower of shoes pour onto her and she disappears.)

VEGETA: A-Angie?

ROB: That'll show her.

ANGIE: (weakly, from beneath shoes) Heehehe!



When Meowth heard the snap he looked up. James walked over to him and grabbed hold of the cord. He yanked it in two, allowing Meowth to go free. "There is hope



ANGIE: (halfway out of shoes) Hope is here? RUUUUUUUUN!!!! (few more shoes drop on her.)



yet." the determined Rocketeer said. He began walking to the exit. Meowth followed him.

Suddenly, Meowthy stepped in front of them, attempting to block the door. "Where do you think you're going?" she said in shaky human-voice. "You can't leave..."



VEGETA: I sense a spectacular battle about to erupt!



"Dat's what you think!" Meowth said as he slashed her across the face. Meowthy fell to the ground. James kicked open the door and started heading back to Head Quarters.



VEGETA: . . .

MOUSSE: Yes, quite spectacular.

SHAMPOO: Shampoo think Monkey-boy senses off.

ANGIE: (shoves all the shoes out of the theater)



Before Meowth left, he looked at Meowthy. "I'm sorry. But it was MY duty..." He then ran off, leaving her alone and sad.



MOUSSE: (exaggerated fondness) Hah, that's a classic Meowth.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darien stood at the entrance of Team Rocket Head Quarters waiting for Serena. He found himself reading the directory of names just so he wouldn't get bored. Then, he started to hear a familiar sound that he had heard not long ago.

"Diglett dig! Diglett dig!"



SHAMPOO & ANGIE: Trio trio trio!



"Hey, little buddy,"



VEGETA: (Mamoru/Darien as the Skipper) Go get the Professor and his coconut powered digging machine.



Darien said as he knelt in front of Diglett. "Come back to keep me company?"

"Diglett!" it chirped, in the only way a mole can chirp.

Without warning,



MOUSSE: . . . the Diglett lunged at Mamoru! Oh! All the blood! Blech, yech, oh the humanity!



a hand grabbed Darien around the neck. He tried to fling whoever it was off of him, but another pair of hands grabbed him around the legs. A group of Team Rocket members knocked him down to the floor. One gagged him. Darien struggled as his arms were tied behind his back.



SHAMPOO: (member as little boy) This teach him to sneak to secret club!

ANGIE: (another member) Let's make him kiss a GIRL!

ALL: (members) Cooties! Cooties! Cooties!



So...THIS is the famous Prince Endymion." A woman's voice said. Darien looked up and saw a woman Rocketeer. She laughed. "How do you do, Darien?



VEGETA: (Mamoru/Darien, muffled) Quithe wellf, acthually. Hadth a gooth lunsh, mabe outh in the char an' allf.



My name is Mary, but mostly everyone around here calls me Bloody Mary."



MOUSSE: (Mary) Not because I kill a lot of people, mind you. But because I get a lotta bloody noses, gush gush, blood everywhere.



"You'll soon find out why." Tack grinned. he turned around to Diglett. "Thanks, Diglett-chan!"

"Diglett!"

Darien could not believe this. He had been tricked by such a small creature.



ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) Damn you! I trusted you, Diglett! I LOVED you!!!!



If only he and Serena hadn't given it their names! Darien tried to say something, but he was muffled by the gag. Mary reached down and pulled it off of him.

"I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"What I said was..." Darien braced himself. "...You know Jessie, don't you?"

Mary laughed again. "Oh! You mean the substitute Moon Princess? Of course, and I know a lot more, too. I also know you are the super hero Tuxedo Mask and Serena is Sailor Moon."



SHAMPOO: Actually, they not too super, or heroes . . . What ARE they?



"And just how did you get this information?" Darien spat out. "No one knows about us!"

"There are a couple," Mary innocently replied. "And I find them and squeeze the juice out."



VEGETA: So if Mary is, *you know*, and James, *you know*, and Jessie, *you know*, and Giovanni, *you know*, then what makes Serena and Darien?

ANGIE: You just want more shoes to drop on me, don't you?

VEGETA: No! I really want to know!

ANGIE: Temptation is too strong . . . Fine. (quickly) Darien is Salmoneous and Serena greasy Minya!

(three shoes hit her in a row, she begins to cry as Vegeta laughs.)

VEGETA: I love that.



"But who would be so stupid as to tell you?" Darien thought, to himself and Mary.

"James..."

"He didn't..."

"He did!"



MOUSSE: Wahwahwah~doh-ing!~



Darien felt betrayed. "I thought he cared for Jessie."

Mary shook her head. "Nope! He dumped her for..." She smiled at her four brothers. They stared back at her, aghast.



SHAMPOO: (brothers) Oh-ho, she say he dump her for me!



"...Me."

"You? Who likes you?"



ANGIE: Mamoru's in the grips of an obvious mad woman with a mace and he insults her! I think HE'S the stupid one!



"What's wrong with that?" Mary growled as she kicked Darien in the jaw. "Frankly, I think he has good taste."

"You're lying."



VEGETA: I thought Mary just kicked his ja-- oh, forget it.

ANGIE: Good, Vegeta, remember, no nit-picking.



"No, I'm not!" Mary laughed. "He found out what losers you were and decided to join the winners. Speaking of losers, you're going to get aquatinted with Jessie again..."

"What do you mean?" Darien asked, his eyes narrowing. But he was re-gagged and lifted off the ground by the brothers. They carried him off to the laboratory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



MOUSSE: They say that water calms one's nerves . . . why isn't this working for me?



"Get it open!"

"I'm trying, Meowth! I'm trying!"



ANGIE: Ack!!! Shampoo! Check the lemon sensor!

SHAMPOO: It say no!

VEGETA & MOUSSE: (convulse)



A fist and a paw full of claws crashed trough the door of the Head Quarters.



VEGETA & MOUSSE: Shew!

ANGIE: (door man) Uh, if you wanted in all you had to do is push the buzzer, sirs.



James and Meowth broke it open and ran inside. They scanned the area, looking for clues.



SHAMPOO: (opening and closing hands twice) Blue's Clues . . .



"Looks like dere was a struggle here," Meowth commented. "Da ground is covered with dirty footprints."

"And look what I found!" James exclaimed proudly, holding up a beautiful red rose. "This is a clue!"



MOUSSE: Professor Plum did it, in the dining room, using the rose!



Meowth shook his head. "You probably dropped dat a while ago..."

James pulled another rose out of his pocket. "No, I didn't. See..."

The Pokémon took both of the roses in his hand. "Well, if dis one ain't yours, den whose is it?"

James thought, which was a very hard thing for him to do.



VEGETA: (James) Thinking hurts . . .



He grasped the sides of his head with his hands, he sat on the ground, he banged his head on the floor. "Hmmmm..."



ANGIE: (James as Winnie the Pooh) Think . . . Think . . . Think . . .



"Don't hurt yourself." Meowth groaned.

Suddenly,



SHAMPOO: As if in flash!



James sat up up. "I've got it! I know who this rose belongs to."

"You do?" Meowth asked excitedly. "Who?"

James looked proud. "It's...



MOUSSE: (James) . . . mine! I forgot, I lost a rose while Jessie and I went tangoing down the halls the other night.



The flower salesman's!"

Meowth fell on the floor, Anime-style.



ANGIE: Fell on the floor from surprise! Say that! Argh!



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: Top of what? You gotta be more specific.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 13 -"Tuxedo Mirage"



SHAMPOO: Me have tuxedo mirage once, when me lost in desert.



By herself, Serena started to get antsy.



MOUSSE: Well, she deserves to be if she was stupid enough to wait for Jessie.



By now, she was totally starving and was about to have an accident.



ANGIE: What? Was she driving a remote controlled car and she couldn't steer it away from the wall? (Vegeta whispers to her.) What? Eww! Go into the room and use the bithy for God's sake!



She stood up and began to walk around. She didn't care if she was in dangerous foreign place. She didn't care if she was liable to get caught.



VEGETA: She was going to go in that potted plant that was nearby!



All she cared about was finding the restrooms. Then, the cafeteria. So, Serena set off through the halls of Team Rocket Head Quarters for a small adventure.



MOUSSE: (author) And that adventure really sucked because absolutely nothing happened to her, but I'm still gonna give you all the details!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SHAMPOO: Oh, ick! Shampoo think of real gross riff for scene change line, but it too gross to share.

ANGIE: Gee, thanks Shampoo, even though just saying that made us know what you were thinking anyway.



After Serena left, a tall man walked up to Jessie's door. He put his hand on the knob and gripped it as if he were exhausted. He then opened the door and lazily shuffled in.



ALL: (sings) Singing do-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do . . .



He then shut it behind him quietly.



VEGETA: (person, little boy) Giovanni-papa? I had an accident again . . .



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seconds after, Jessie was walking down the hall to her room. She was devastated for she hadn't found James anywhere and was running out of time.



MOUSSE: Huh?

ANGIE: Maybe it's a "Speed" thing. She doesn't find James within twenty minutes going up to speeds of five, a bus full of Rocket members explode.

SHAMPOO: That certainly more interesting.



Glad to be back, she opened the door to her room and screamed.



ALL: (various forms of screaming)

SHAMPOO: (Jessie as Akane) There pervert in bathtub!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James' ears perked up. "That was Jessie!" Meowth looked up at him.



VEGETA: (Meowth) No it wasn't! That was you after you saw that Beedrill over there, Femboy.



James started climbing the stairs to Jessie's room. He tried to open the door, but it was locked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bloody Mary grinned. "Game. Set. Match."



MOUSSE: Uh, Bingo?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Prince Endymion!" Jessie gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Darien smiled at her. "Jessie, I'm so glad to see you again. Please, call me Darien."



ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) Please, call me Godboy.



"How did you find me? How did you get into my room?"



SHAMPOO: (Jessie) Me change name, number, moved to another dimension to get away from you!



"That doesn't matter," Darien sighed. "What matters is that we are together again." He moved towards her.

ALL: (interests piques)



"Darien?" Jessie whispered. "What are you talking about?" She started backing up against the wall. Something was not right here.

"I've come to make a confession," he said softly. "I must confess my love for you."



MOUSSE, ANGIE & SHAMPOO: Acccccccckkkkk!!!!

VEGETA: And Jessie pulls out her bazooka and blasts him through the wall! Hurry! Now!



"WHAT?!?"

He took her hands in his. "Jessie, you've been all I wanted. Princess Serena of the Moon Kingdom does not matter anymore. All I want is you."



ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) You, Substitute Princess Jessie of the Moon Kingdom, of the Silver Millennium, of the Pokémon Land, of the Team Rocket . . .



"Darien..." She could not believe what she was hearing. Darien was in love with her? When did all this happen?



SHAMPOO: No ask us, we just as lost as Usagi.



"You love me? And, Serena...?"



MOUSSE: (Mamoru/Darien) Yes, and Serena, too. I have converted to the Mormon religion.

ANGIE: Hey!

MOUSSE: Gomen, Angie-san.



"I told you. She is no longer my love." Darien smiled sweetly. He knelt down before her. "Please, Jessie, say you will be mine."

This was way too scary. Jessie pulled her hands out of Darien's grasp and looked at him sternly. "I can't believe you're throwing Serena away like this!



VEGETA: (Jessie) Like the piece of trash she is!



Besides, I'm already taken."

Darien stood up again.



SHAMPOO: He on ground before?

ANGIE: Kinda puts a sick image in your mind doesn't it?



"Already taken?" he laughed. "By that loser, James? He's dumped you!"

Jessie's eyes wobbled. "What? He couldn't have..."



MOUSSE: Geez, these people are quick to believe ANYTHING.

VEGETA: (person) The sky is falling!

ANGIE: (Jessie) Oh no! The sky is falling! All is doomed! Aaaaah!!!!

VEGETA: (person) Aliens have control over our government.

SHAMPOO: (James) You sure? Of course you sure! Why be lying? Ahhhhhh!!!!



"Yes, I'm sorry," Darien said. He stopped laughing and looked at her sadly. "I just saw him with a woman with brown hair and violet eyes. I think she was part of Team Rocket..."



MOUSSE: (Mamoru/Darien) Then again, that big red "R" on her shirt could have stood for Team "Rodent", I dunno.



"Mary!" Jessie exclaimed. She was about to collapse when Darien caught her.



ANGIE: Oops, her lugnuts came loose again.



"No...James..."

VEGETA: (Jessie, slowly) You can't have my ice cream cone . . . it's mine . . .



"I suppose I should have told you sooner," Darien guiltily sighed.



SHAMPOO: Me not too good at grammar, but is not that phrase illegal?



Jessie buried her head in Darien's jacket and sobbed. He gently caressed her



ALL: My eyes!!!!



and petted her head. "I'm so sorry."



MOUSSE: (Mamoru/Darien) I didn't mean to caress that hard.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James was desperately trying to open the door. Meowth tried helping. "She usually never locks her door," James began as he pulled on the knob. "Except at night."



ANGIE: So, where is Jessie and Darien? In the bathroom, the bedroom, the toilet? Where? They certainly can't be by the door!



"I told you not to tell Mary anything!" Meowth scolded. "Now she knows just what to do."



VEGETA: (James) But if I hadn't, there wouldn't have been a story plot!

MOUSSE: There's a plot?

SHAMPOO: Ouch, Mousse!



"Sorry," James growled. "I didn't know what she had in store..."

"Ummm...Excuse me..."

James and Meowth turned around. They both saw a familiar girl standing behind them. "Do I know you from somewhere?" James asked.

Meowth scratched him across the face. "You idiot! Dat's Serena, da Moon Princess, remember?"



ANGIE: And as Meowth screams that, Giovanni happened to be passing by . . .

MOUSSE: These guys just don't believe in the concept of being SUBTLE, do they?



"I forgot..."

Serena smiled. "It's good to see you two again. Where's Jessie?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: (announcer type voice) Where Jessie? Question answered right after this.



It couldn't be possible. No! Not her James. Not her dear beloved partner that she had known for long. Jessie looked up at Darien with tear-streaked cheeks. "No..."



VEGETA: (awful British accent) I can't tell the difference between Whizzo butter and a dead crab.

ANGIE: Hahahah! Monty Python! Ah, good show.



"Yes,"



VEGETA: (aggressive) You CAN tell the difference!!!!!



Darien nodded. He then took her by the shoulders and held her out in front of him. "But you don't deserve him, Jessie!



ALL: What?! (lol)

SHAMPOO: Me think CTR worded that wrong.

MOUSSE: I thought it was JAMES that didn't deserve JESSIE!

ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) I changed my mind, I want James instead. Bye!



You're a classy girl... Woman..." Jessie hung onto his every word.



VEGETA: If she doesn't, she'll fall off the cliff.



"You deserve a Prince, worthy of your stature. You deserve a man who can at least count to ten without screwing up." She smiled a little at that. Darien kept going. "You need a hero, one who can fulfill your every needs. One who will come to your rescue when you scream. Jessie... You deserve me."



SHAMPOO: (Jessie) Me think more along line of SuperMan.

VEGETA: Angie, have a certain little riff running through your mind?

ANGIE: Not one clean enough to say out loud.

VEGETA: But did that description of James REMIND you of someone?

ANGIE: Uh, Gourry?

VEGETA: Wha-- Oh, yeah, that guy, but someone not of ANIME?

ANGIE: No clue.

VEGETA: Oh, c'mon! Obviously that woulda been a perfect Joxer riff! That's Joxer and-- (a couple of shoes conk him in the head.) OW!!!

ANGIE: Hah, that'll show you, Vegeta-kun.



He then took her in his arms and kissed her.



MOUSSE: Sssssssluuuuuurp . . .

SHAMPOO: Ick.



Jessie did not know what to do. She was paralyzed by the beautiful words Darien said. Now, he was kissing her soft and passionately.



ANGIE: How soft?

VEGETA: So soft, you can use it as a pillow.

ANGIE: How passionately?

SHAMPOO: No answer.



It didn't seem right.



MOUSSE: It didn't seem DECENT!



Yet...Isn't this what she had always wanted? On the Moon Kingdom in the Silver Millennium,



ANGIE: When she was bitter and selfish? Gee, not much had changed . . .



all Princess Jessie had wanted was to get Prince Endymion to notice her.



VEGETA: Along with fifty other girls.

SHAMPOO: Me? All me want is good Thermos.



She was jealous of his love for Princess Serena. Now, she finally got what she had wanted, but why didn't she feel happy?

Suddenly



MOUSSE: As if in a flash!

the two stopped. They heard pounding on the door. "What's that?" Jessie asked.



ANGIE: And quoth the James: Nevermore!



Darien looked up worriedly. They were entering!

"I'm sure it's nothing," Darien said hurriedly as he kissed Jessie again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"One... Two... Three!" James ran into the door with full force.



VEGETA: Why does he want to get in there so badly? Does he hafta use the bathroom and he can't make it to the public ones?

ANGIE: No, remember the scream?

VEGETA: Oh yeah!



Serena and Meowth helped him. Finally, it cracked. The three burst in, and were in shock over what they saw.

"DARIEN!"

"JESSIE!"



ALL: EDIT!



There were the two in each others' arms, kissing and cuddling.



MOUSSE: (Mamoru/Darien) I-uh-was helping Jessie to dislodge a chicken bone in her throat using my tongue . . . Yeah, that's it.

SHAMPOO: (Usagi/Serena and James, ditsy) Oh, okay!



Serena burst into tears while James stood aghast. Meowth hissed. "What's all dis?"

Darien looked up at Serena.



VEGETA: UP?!

ANGIE: Okay, no more of those sex subtex riffs, they bring up bad images

OTHERS: Hai hai



"I don't love you anymore!"



ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that?



Serena sobbed and fell to the ground.

James grabbed Jessie away from Darien. He slapped her clear across the face.



ALL: (quite offended) He-ey!

ANGIE: My God!

VEGETA: Nan datte!?

SHAMPOO: Konchikusho!

MOUSSE: (silent from shock)

(Translation: "Wha-at!" & "You brute!")



"You...After all I did for you!"

Jessie fell on the floor in a heap. She touched the part of her face where James had struck her. Tears fell from her eyes.

[ Return to top ]



SHAMPOO: (furious, spouting out a long line of insults and curses in Japanese)

MOUSSE: What's she so worked up over?

VEGETA: Jessie's one of her best friends on the SoD.

ANGIE: (patting Shampoo's shoulder) It's all right, just tell yourself, "It's ONLY a fanfic".

SHAMPOO: It only-- sniff-- fanfic.

ANGIE: Good girl.

MOUSSE: Let's just pretend that never happened.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 14 -"Black and Blue and Red Roses All Over"



SHAMPOO: Hahahahahah--sooooooob!



Jessie lay on the ground, awestricken.



VEGETA: She was actually in a fanfic where SHE was the weakling? No way!



"James," she managed to murmur aloud. He had just hit her,



MOUSSE: (narrator) Previously, on Rocket Princess II . . .



and the sting of the shock hurt more than the bruise itself. "I didn't...It's not what you think!"

"I'm going to believe that one," James said sarcastically. "You think saying your sorry can make it all better, don't you, Jessie?



ANGIE: (Jessie) Uhm, yes?

SHAMPOO: (James, ditsy again) Oh, okay!



That you can run to me in tears and I'll be there to comfort you with open arms..."



MOUSSE: When did that ever happen?

VEGETA: I'm not the romantic type, but aren't boyfriends supposed to do that anyway?



"No..."

"Shut up!"

Darien glared at James. "How dare you speak to Jessie like that, you imbecile. You should have more respect for women!"



ANGIE: And here Darien his, palming and kissing Jessie without her consent.



Serena had had enough of this. "Leave me alone!" she yelled. Then she went over to Jessie



SHAMPOO: . . . and use "Pink Sugar Heart" attack on her.



to comfort and be comforted.



MOUSSE: (Usagi/Serena) My boyfriend is cheating on me with you, comfort me!



Jessie did hold her friend in her arms and cried with her. This was too much for the men.



VEGETA: (James) Oh, great Darien, you just drove both of our girlfriends to alternate lifestyles! Thank you very much, handsome devil that you are!



They both turned away from them, much to Meowth's disgust.

Then Darien whirled around and pushed James into the wall. "Alright, I'll show my respect for you."



ALL: O_o

ANGIE: I think the fanfic skipped a few paragraphs.



James was a little taken aback by this. He was pushed so quickly, but he managed to pull himself up. He faced Darien, who had a smug look on his face.



SHAMPOO: (Mamoru/Darien) Me eat last ice cream sandwich.

MOUSSE: (James) Noooooooooo!!!!



James did not like that look at all.



VEGETA: That look had teased him several times in the past before. Sticking "Kick me" signs on his back and taking his lunch money. He did not like that look at all.



He ran towards Darien with full force and knocked him straight into Jessie's mirror. The mirror shattered, and Darien was covered with scrapes and glass. The heat was on!



ANGIE: Hey! Pro-rassling! YES!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meowthy leaned against the tree where she had first met Meowth.



SHAMPOO: (gentle voice) Great Tree is for lovers . . .



How she hated herself for betraying him! She had used him for a plan she didn't even know how evil it would turn out.



VEGETA: I WOULD fume at this, but that slap thing wore me out.



During the course of this plan, she had also become evil. But now...Now Meowthy felt that being evil wasn't all it was cracked up to be.



ANGIE: Well, there's your problem right there, you're using CRACK while being evil. Stop using it and it'll be much more fun.



If being evil meant hurting the one you loved, she'd just assume throw herself in a nearby river!



SHAMPOO: "Assume" be "As soon".

MOUSSE: Gee, Shampoo, for someone who can barely talk straight, you sure are good at writing.

SHAMPOO: Me good grammatical skills in writing, me just dyslexic speaker.

MOUSSE: Oh, uh, okay.



She really did love him, didn't she? That was the question she kept asking herself over and over.



ANGIE: (Meowthy) To be, or not to be, that is the question.

VEGETA: Pick not to be! Not to be!



If she did not love him, then whywould she be feeling so much grief and pain now? During her training, she had thought the only person she would ever love so much would be her trainer, Bloody Mary. But, she felt a different love towards Meowth. However, it was obvious Meowth didn't reflect her feelings. Why would he now, after all that she had done?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



MOUSSE: (narrator) Questions will be answered, so don't go away! Will Meowth love Meowthy ever again?

SHAMPOO: (narrator) Will CTR work 'round human thing?

VEGETA: (narrator) Will James bitch-slap Darien to death? Will Jessie and Serena cry themselves to drowning?

ANGIE: (narrator) Will Bloody Mary ever be called Lovely-Flower Girl Mary like she had always dreamed of?

MOUSSE: (narrator) All this and more, next.



James looked up at Darien with a face covered with red scars.



MOUSSE: (narrator) And we're back.



He took out both roses he had kept in his pocket. "So, this extra rose belonged to you, and not the flower salesman's!" Meowth got a huge sweatdrop.



SHAMPOO: Hahahah! Me glad can find humor in this as James' face bleed freely.



"I don't know what you're blabbering about, but you've given me an excellent idea," Darien smirked.



VEGETA: (Mamoru) I think I'll make yaki-soba and tonkatsu for dinner-- I mean -ahem- (Darien) I think I'll stop at a MacDonald's for a Big Mac and two large fries.



He pulled out a black rose and threw it into the air.



ANGIE: Ohhhhhhhhh! I see it NOW! BLACK rose!

SHAMPOO: So? Rose be dead?

ANGIE: No, BRAINWASHED.

SHAMPOO: Ohhhhh! Shampoo remember episode!



"Tuxedo Mask Power!"



MOUSSE: And as he changes into Tuxedo Kamen, his hat flies down to meet his head, but it miscalculated and the brim sliced it off.

VEGETA: Thus ended the fanfic.



Darien then changed into Tuxedo Mask. "How's that for you, Pokemon idiot?"



ANGIE: (Mamoru/Darien) It was good for me, what about you?

SHAMPOO: (James) -snicker- Heehee, look SO ridiculous! -snicker-

MOUSSE: (Mask/Kamen) I'm supposed to be large and frightening!

SHAMPOO: (James) Ooo, me so scared! -snicker- Cute hat!



James laughed. "So, you couldn't fight me as regular Darien.



VEGETA: He had to change to decaf Darien? Huh?



Was I too much for you?" He rammed his elbow into Tuxedo Mask's ribs, sending him flying across the room.



ANGIE: James looks REALLY cute in B-ko's Akagiyama 23 suit.

OTHERS: (snicker)

SHAMPOO: That bring up interesting image.

MOUSSE: Now some weird person will draw him in that skimpy thing.



Tuxedo Mask landed and jumped right back onto his feet. He grabbed James by the small strand of hair in front of his face and threw him to the ground. Then he stepped on his gut. "Thank you for rolling out my welcome mat."



ALL: O_o

ANGIE: (grabbing head) I am sooooo lost!

VEGETA: (James) Oh yeah? Well, thanks for putting the cat out last night. -punch-

MOUSSE: (Mask/Kamen) Gasp! Yes, well, thanks for removing your shoes before entering! -kick-



James coughed and then managed to grab Tuxie's legs. He wiggled them which caused his opponent to fall. James pinned grabbed Tuxedo Mask's shoulders and pinned him to the ground. Then he snatched the thorn rose out of his hand. "It ends here and now, Rosey." James plunged the rose into his left eye. Tuxedo Mask screamed out in pain.



ALL BUT VEGETA: Aaaaah!

VEGETA: (jumping to feet) Go, James! This fight is soooo cool!

ANGIE: (leaning over and vomiting in one of the many shoes surrounding her)



Serena yelled and tried to run to her love. Jessie held her back. "James! Stop it!" she cried.



SHAMPOO: (Jessie) Quick, James, me hold Serena back, kill her, too!



Tuxedo Mask kicked James off of him and sat on his knees. He rubbed his eye which was now bleeding very badly. James then picked Tuxie off the ground by his hair and threw him against the wall.

"Are you ready to admit defeat?" James said coolly.

Tuxedo Mask didn't move. He cowered in the corner, clanging to his face and holding his eye-socket. "N-no...Go away. Where am I?"

"Pitiful," James sighed, tossing the black rose to Serena's feet.

Serena looked at the rose. "Black?" she whispered. All the memories of Evil enveloping Darien flooded back to her. Every time Darien had turned Evil,



ANGIE: . . . all fifty-two times . . .



his roses had changed from red to black.



VEGETA: Just to shove the blatant symbolism down our throats.



Darien had not betrayed her! He was being controlled. "Darien!" she screamed as she rose to her feet. "Moon Eternal Make-up!"

Jessie watched her as Serena turned into Eternal Sailor Moon. "Serena, what is it?"

"Starlight HoneyMoon Therapy Kiss!" she screamed.



MOUSSE: (mocking) Blackhole Divorce Counseling Kick!



Tuxedo Mask was hit with her Energy.



VEGETA: 'Coz her Energies are *this* bi--

ANGIE: Vegeta, no!

SHAMPOO: Gasp! Sailor Moon kill Tuxedo Kamen!

MOUSSE: He was too much trouble than he was worth.



Eternal Sailor Moon then rushed to him. He slowly transformed back into normal Darien and the black rosewilted.



ANGIE: (Freakazoid!) See, I can do it, too!

OTHERS: ???

ANGIE: (laughing) Sorry, I just HAD to say it!



Are you alright, Darien-chan?"

Darien looked up meekly at Eternal Sailor Moon with his one, good eye. "Serena?"

"You were under a spell, my love," she said as she kissed him on the forehead.

"I love you, Serena!"



ALL: !!!!!!

ANGIE: Listen to your own advise, Angie, don't think about it. Don't think about it.



Team Rocket stood in disbelief.



MOUSSE: (Team Rocket) What the hell just happened!



"It was Mary!" Meowth hissed. "She did this to get James again."

James sadly looked to the ground. "I didn't know. Then...What have I done?" He fell to his knees. "Because of me..."



SHAMPOO: (James) . . . me make complicated plot line that confuse readers!



Jessie got up and walked over to his side. "Because of Mary," she interrupted. "It was her doing."

"She hurt us all," Meowth said. "She hurt Serena by using Darien as his pawn. She hurt Darien by using you. She hurt Jessie by Darien also. And she hurt you by using Jessie and Darien. Then..." His voice trailed off. "...Mary hurt Meowth..."

"Oh, my dearest James," Jessie smiled. "We all forgive you.



VEGETA: (Mamoru/Darien, faintly) Uh, not me!



And we shall get Mary back!"



ANGIE: (mock) Oh, we SHALL, shall we?



She then took him in her arms and kissed him.



VEGETA: (Mamoru/Darien) Uh, excuse me. Can somebody help me, get me to a hospital or something? My EYE seems to be MISSING!



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 15 -"Another One Bites the Dust"



ALL: (sings) Another one bites the dust! And another one does, and another one does, and another one bites the dust . . .



Bloody Mary sat alone in the cafeteria sipping a Coke. For about forty minutes she had enjoyed listening to the sounds



SHAMPOO: . . .of Yanni . . .



coming from upstairs. Glass shattering. People screaming. Sounds of horror as each piece of a body was broken or squashed. Of course, that meant James would be hurt also, but she would fix him up. Oh, yes she would...



ANGIE: (holding a shoe up just in case she feels sick again) (in low voice) She would destroy Christmas this year. Oh, yes she would . . .



However, the sound she heard now was not good. It was a sound she disliked very much.



MOUSSE: (Mary) Turn off that bloody Blink 182!



And that was the sound of silence.



SHAMPOO: (exaggerated worry) Oh no, everyone dead?



What happened to the fighting? Where were the sounds of crunching bones and ear-splitting yells? Something up there was not right. Mary thought it best she go and investigate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: Look at all that blood from Mamoru's eye flow.



James remained in Jessie's arms, sobbing like a small child. Jessie just smiled and comforted him. "It was not your fault, my love."



ANGIE: (Jessie) At least you got one good hit in. That was kinda awesome.



"But, Jessie," James sniffed. "Look what I have done to Darien.



MOUSSE: And I thank you for it. And, here, have this trophy. (holds up a shoe)

ANGIE: You might want to let that one go, Mousse-kun.

MOUSSE: Huh? (looks in it) Oh, yuck! (drops it) Uck, I didn't want to see what you ate at the buffet, Angie.

ANGIE: I didn't MAKE you pick up the shoe!



And your room has seen better days hidden underneath the bed!"

"Endymion will be fine, James-chan."

Speaking of which, Eternal Sailor Moon was busily trying to heal Darien as best she could.



SHAMPOO: Which not too good, mind you.



He was very weak, for he had lost much blood in the battle. Darien turned to James with a smile. "I never knew you had it in you, Rocket-man. You're pretty strong!"



VEGETA: For Kami-sama's sake! Darien! Your EYE has been POKED OUT and you're JOKING about it!?!?!



James sort of laughed at this. "I was angry..."

The door was thrown open. "So was I!"

"Mary!" Meowth gasped. "How dare ya show your sorry face here!"

"I agree," Eternal Sailor Moon stated.



ANGIE: (Moon) Even though I don't really know who you are.



Mary tossed her brown hair aside and laughed.



MOUSSE: (Mary) When I fight, I fight BALD!



"So, Jamesy, you didn't finish off Prince Endymion like I hoped you would. Instead you crawled back to the trash."



SHAMPOO: (James, exaggerated) You TRASH!

ALL: (snicker)

VEGETA: That trash thing's funny.



Jessie's eyes narrowed. "You dare call me trash, you little whore?"



ANGIE: (whistling loudly, stands and acts as if bracing herself between the two women) Okay! Break it up you two! Jessie, fifteen yard penalty for using such a vulgar insult! (sits down)

MOUSSE: That was interesting, Angie.

ANGIE: Thanks, I try.



Meowth leapt at Mary, intending to slash her. Mary just laughed and hit him before he got there. "Puny Meowth! You're no match for my Meowthy."

Meowth growled. "Leave Meowthy out of dis."

"But you love her, don't you?" Mary grinned.

The small cat-like Pokémon looked to the ground.



SHAMPOO: Yes, find answer in shag carpet . . .



Yes, he did love her. But she was evil and had turned against him. Now, she was probably sitting at the warehouse laughing at his every move.



VEGETA: Or at the Three Stooges, either way she was still evil!



He turned away from Mary. "You...You wouldn't even know da word 'love' if it hit you in da face."

"What?" Mary backed away a little bit. "Me? Not know love?"



ANGIE: (loudly) LOVE!

MOUSSE: (imitates "whap" sound)

SHAMPOO: (Mary) What hell hit me in face?



"You don't even have a heart!" Darien snarled.



VEGETA: (exaggerated) You TRASH!

ANGIE: Okay, that's good, but that's enough . . .



"Silence!" Mary said as she pulled out her weapon.



MOUSSE: Compensating for not knowing that this weapon is called a "mace", CTR just refers to it as "her weapon".



"Team Rocket has no feelings of sympathy. My heart may not be gold like the sorry lot of yours', but I do know love...Because I love James and I will make him mine!"

"She's insane!" Meowth yelled.

Mary cornered the small group against the wall. She rose her weapon high over her head and was ready to bring the spiked ball down upon them. Then Meowth ran out from underneath her legs. Mary turned around to chase after him,



SHAMPOO: Even though Jessie, Mary's foremost person to kill, still there.



but Eternal Sailor Moon knocked her out of their way. The five-some ran out of Jessie's room, down the hallway, and trampled down the stairs.



VEGETA: (Rocket member) Hey, there's Jessie, James and Meowth! Hey guys! And they're with Eternal Sailor Moon! And, hey! An unknown guy with only one eye! Hello, there!



"We've got to get out of here!" James shrieked. "I'm really scared of that Mary."

"We all are," Jessie panted.

Suddenly,



MOUSSE: As if in a flash!



they heard the sound of a snapping. James was pulled backward by a long whip,



ANGIE: Jezebel! What's his fiancée doing there?

SHAMPOO: Poor sap, almost kill by mad woman, now psychopath fiancée show up.

MOUSSE: (almost says something about the Shampoo-Ukyo-Akane thing, but decides to keep silent)



and Mary was at the other end. "Not so fast, jerks!" she laughed, tightening the rope around James' neck. James tried to breathe, but the circulation to his lungs were cut off by the whip. He tried pulling at it, but it tightened with every struggle.

"James!" Jessie cried. "Stop it, Mary! You're choking him."



VEGETA: A period at the end of the sentence? Jessie must be getting tired of this fanfic already.



"Exactly," Mary said, again raising her weapon. "If I cannot have James, then no one can!" She laughed insanely and brought the weapon down.

"No!" Jessie ran towards James and pushed him out of the way,



SHAMPOO: . . . making the whip tighten more and snap his neck.



taking the blow herself.

James saw her fall in a red, lucid pool.



ANGIE: She fell into a vat of unsolidified cherry Jell-O? (Shampoo whispers to her) Uh-huh, oh, I see . . . JESSIE! NO!! (Shampoo sighs and sweat drops)



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: This is sad, no more "Return to top" riffs are entering my mind.

SHAMPOO: Oh, that is.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 16 -"Precious Cargo"



MOUSSE: And then suddenly they are all in a jungle, and lo, they carry a precious cargo of panties for Happosai.



"Oh my God!" Eternal Sailor Moon yelled as Jessie crashed to the ground. Her head was totally bashed in from the spike ball. Mary's weapon had crushed her skull.



SHAMPOO: (sobs) Dear friend Jessie . . .

ANGIE: It's all right, Shampoo. She'll be back.

SHAMPOO: Really?

ANGIE: It's as plain as day that she will be.

SHAMPOO: All right . . .



James tore the whip from around his neck and ran to Jessie. He grasped her and held her limp body in his arms. "Jessie, you saved me, but..."



VEGETA: (James) You still owe me fifty bucks and have to return my white lipstick. . .



Bloody Mary stood atop the staircase laughing menacingly. "Oh well! Who would've thought that Jessie would do herself in?"

"You planned it that way, Mary!" James growled. "You used me as bait to kill Jessie."

"Well, James-chan, you really didn't think I would kill you, now did you?" James continued to glare at the grinning Mary.

Eternal Sailor Moon pointed her index finger at Mary.



MOUSSE: (author) Whoops, typo. ". . . pointed her middle finger at Mary."



"You, Bloody Mary, have damaged the love of these two people. I shall not forgive you! I am the pretty Sailor Soldier of love and..."



ANGIE: For god's sake! Shut up and blast her to high heaven!



"Cut the crap, kid!" Mary interrupted.



VEGETA: Thanks! You finally did something right, Mary!



"I don't care about your dumb, little speech. By the way, didn't your mother ever tell you it wasn't polite to point?"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?" Darien snapped back.



SHAMPOO: Frivolous banter stop now!



"Even though you're weak, you still got some spunk in you, 'eh, Tuxie?" She lurched



ANGIE: Sounds like Mary was hitting the triple "x" jug again.



forward a bit. "And now, James, with no competition, I can have you all to myself."

"Don't bet on it!" James yelled. He turned and started running away with Jessie cradled in his arms. Eternal Sailor Moon, Darien, and Meowth all followed.

Mary grinned again. "Run all you want, dearest James, but you shall never escape me..." She pulled out two Pokéballs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



MOUSSE: (Mary) Luckily, Jessie's head is leaving that trail of brains for me to follow.

ANGIE: Ugh! (convulse)



Bloody Mary's four brothers sat in the warehouse playing a game of Poker.



VEGETA: (sarcastic) PokéPoker.



"Your move, Mack."

"Uh oh, I'm high..."

"Ummm...That's a good thing, Tack."

"It is? Well, I'm just learning!"



SHAMPOO: So much for bluff.

ANGIE: When I was THREE I knew high was good in a game of poker.



Unobserved to them was Meowthy's re-entrance. She walked over to the rope where Meowth had hung from nearly two hours.

"Your bet."

"But I have nothing to bet."

"Tack, you gotta bet something."

"Uhhh...Okay! I bet my pants..."



MOUSSE: Ah, strip PokéPoker!



"I don't think I want those."



VEGETA: (a brother, gay) Well, I would. They're Ci-UTE!



"Well, how about...My hat!"

"You don't have a hat. Only Jack does."



ANGIE: I thought Mack or Zack had the beret, not Jack.



"Well, I want a hat."

"You're too young, Tack."



SHAMPOO: (a brother) You never understand power hat has till you mature.

MOUSSE: (Tack) Meaning . . .

SHAMPOO: (a brother) Must get lucky with-- CASSIDY!

MOUSSE: (Tack) Ahhhhhh!



"I'm sixteen..."

Meowthy pawed at the rope.



VEGETA: . . . the smell of blood still fresh upon it.



She remembered the sweet nights she and Meowth had spent



ANGIE: . . . pulling taffy.

MOUSSE: (snicker) What the? . . .



together. He taught her to talk, read, and write in the human language. She sighed a heavy sigh.



SHAMPOO: (Meowthy) Sigh-- whoah! (sound of falling to floor)



It was so heavy, in fact, that it made the Rocket Brothers look up from their game. Mack, who was Meowthy's original owner, put his cards down and walked over to her. He asked her what was wrong, but she just sighed again. He petted her, rubbed her neck, scratched behind her ears. All the time, Meowthy was silent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James led the group to an elevator. He literally pounded on the buttons. "C'mon, you stupid thing! Up! Up!" When it finally came, they hustled inside and quickly shut the door.



ANGIE: Unfortunately for them, they didn't see the warning sign on the doors, the wires snapped, and they plummeted to their death. The end.

VEGETA: Gee, you're being a bit dark.

ANGIE: I want it to end.



"We'll have to escape from da top floor," Meowth suggested. "Maybe we'll lose Mary."



SHAMPOO: (Meowth) And if don't, then we throw James over edge, maybe psycho-lady spare us.



Through all this, James kept tapping Jessie's face gently to see if she would come to.



ANGIE: Reminds me of when Joxer got stabbed and died in "Been There, Done That" and Gabby was tapping on his face. It was quite sad-- (realizes what she had just said) No, Rob, don't! (four shoes hit her in the head.) Owwww . . .

MOUSSE: Look at it this way, Angie. If you can find the matching pairs you won't have to shop for shoes for a while.

VEGETA: You're providing us with several containers in which to puke in.

ANGIE: I think that last shoe was a golf shoe . . .



She just remained still. The elevator climbed higher and higher. Soon, the small bell was heard and they all ran out.



SHAMPOO: Run from horrible musac! Run!



They ran down the hall until they came to a window.

"We have to jump," Darien sighed. He was still weak and was leaning against the wall for support.



VEGETA: So, does he have an eye or is it still gone? It's not really specified.



Eternal Sailor Moon smiled. "I'll help you, Darien-chan!"



ANGIE: Why are they smiling and laughing during this? I would be sobbing and crying!

SHAMPOO: Why Sailor Moon no do anything? Even Tiara Action could rid of Mary!



She walked over to the window and tried pulling it up, but it wouldn't budge. "It's stuck!" she whined.



MOUSSE: (Moon) Well, I'm fresh out of ideas. I guess we just wait here to die! (hums)



James walked over to it and kicked the glass out with his foot.



VEGETA: (James, to Moon) Dumb ass.

ANGIE: (Moon, to James) Jack off.

SHAMPOO: Bit vulgar on insults, ne?

VEGETA & ANGIE: Nah!



"Hurry! We gotta get out before Mary finds us."

Eternal Sailor Moon led Darien to the window. She explained she would jump first and catch him. So, out she flew and landed.



MOUSSE: And the scores for Sailor Moon are 6.8, 9.0 and 8.4.



Darien followed close behind and jumped halfway into her arms.



SHAMPOO: Scores: 7.2, 7.4 and 7.9. Need to be catch by Moon cost him.



"He's okay!" Meowth said to James. "Now, it's Meowth's turn." Meowth sprung out too and landed on his feet, as cats always do.



ANGIE: Scores: 10.0, 10.0 and 9.6. Now only did he land good, but he's really cute.



Then he looked up to the window. "C'mon, James. Let's go!"

"Just a sec!" James called back. What was he to do? He couldn't leave Jessie behind and he couldn't jump with her in his arms. That would be dangerous. He considered gently tossing her down to Darien or Eternal Sailor Moon, but that was also bad. What if he missed? What if they didn't catch her?



VEGETA: It wouldn't really matter, she's DEAD!



So, it was settled. Jessie had to come with him. James tore off a shred off his Team Rocket uniform. Then he draped Jessie's arms around the back of his neck. He tied her hands together. It was almost like he had a cape,



MOUSSE: . . . but it was a dead body.

SHAMPOO: James is McGuyver!



but Jessie was more of his cargo. She was precious and could not be damaged.



ANGIE: BUT SHE'S DEAD!!!!



He then followed suite, making sure he landed on his front side.



VEGETA: CRACK!

SHAMPOO: "SUIT" not "suite". You no follow room.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meowth had already disappeared from the group. He had to see Meowthy again, even if it meant death. He had thought he was mad at her, but something drew him back towards the warehouse.



MOUSSE: Red string of Fate?

ANGIE: Nah, she still has his fave ball of yarn!



He ran with all his might. When he reached the door, he entered slowly and cautiously. There sat the small Pokémon. She was crying.



SHAMPOO: (Meowth) Not all over yarn!



Meowth walked over to her. "Meowthy..." Meowthy turned around to see her love standing there. She ran into his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally outside, the group managed to catch their breath. But they were not alone for long. At that moment, they heard a loud roar. Two sinister-looking Pokémon crashed through the wall of Team Rocket Head Quarters.



SHAMPOO: Team Rocket HQ take much abuse like Tendo dojo.



One was a Charizard. The other was a Gyarados. And, riding on top of Gyarados' head, was an even more sinister evil creature.



VEGETA: (low voice) An HMO . . .



It was Bloody Mary herself.



VEGETA: (normal voice) Oh.



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



ANGIE: It's just no more fun riffing the lines! This fanfic has broken our spirit!



Chapter 17 -"Lady of the Mysterious Night"



"Prepare to be annihilated!" Mary laughed. "Gyarados, Dragon Rage! Combine with Charizard's Fires Spin!"



MOUSSE: (Mary) To make a really spicy chicken dish!



Gyarados rose its head.



SHAMPOO: (Gyarados) What the-- Is human on head again?



Charizard lifted its tail and opened its mouth. Eternal Sailor Moon clung to Tuxedo Mask in fear



VEGETA: . . . instead of using her Magical Girl powers to blast 'em all!!!!!

ANGIE: Wait a bit, wasn't Tuxedo Mask in Darien form?



and James turned his body around so Jessie would not be hurt anymore than she already was.



MOUSSE: She's dead, James, live with it!



They were all scared and knew they couldn't get out of this one.



VEGETA: Unless if Sailor Moon decides to use her Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss attack!



James gulped. "Good-bye Meowth..."



SHAMPOO: (James) Wait, where little freak?! Coward!



"FINISH THEM!"



ANGIE: Hah, did Mary come out of the Mortal Kombat game or what?



The attacks combined in tube-like shape spewing out fire and water.



MOUSSE: I hate to be picky, but wouldn't they cancel each other out?



The three prepared themselves for death.

Suddenly,



VEGETA: As if in a flash!

SHAMPOO: That reflex now.

VEGETA: Totally. There's a lot of "Suddenlies" in this 'fic.



a flash of gold light surrounded them. It blocked the attacks and sent them straight back at the Pokémon, killing them.



ALL: Noooooo!!!

SHAMPOO & ANGIE: Oh, the humanity! Ohhhhh!

MOUSSE: Charles and Gos, no!



James knelt down on his knees and untied Jessie from his back. When he held her, he noticed her Crescent Moon glowing brilliantly on her forehead. Jessie's eyes opened slowly. James was shocked. Jessie was alive!



SHAMPOO: (cheers and applauds)



"Put me down, James," Jessie commanded softly. He did as he was told,



VEGETA: . . . for she was extremely hot.



and Jessie stood up.

"What the...?" Mary's eyes widened in horror. "Jessie's alive?"

Eternal Sailor Moon felt her stomach churn. "J-J-Jessie-chan?"

The injured Jessie looked back at her and smiled.



ANGIE: . . . as brains and blood dripped out of her skull.



"Serena..."

"This can't be," Mary said to herself in panic. "How could she have survived. I killed her with my own hands!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the warehouse, the Rocket Brothers, Meowth, and Meowthy witnessed the glowing light.

"What could dat possibly?" Meowth gasped.



SHAMPOO: So brothers no realize Meowth there?



Meowthy shook her head, her eyes wide with fright. "The end of the world?" she asked in human-talk.

"The end of the world?!?" Tack whimpered. He ran and hid under a table in the warehouse. "We're all gonna die!"



MOUSSE: That's what the end of the world usually means, Tack.

ANGIE: No fanfic is complete without it's very own spaz!



"Idiot..." Jack murmured.

"No..." Meowth said. "It just might be..." Meowthy looked at him. The brothers listened intently.



VEGETA: Instead of killing their enemy.



"...It's Princess Jessie!"



MOUSSE: And the eager four horsemen of the Apocalypse turned their horses away and began to weep . . .



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At once Jessie transformed into Princess Jessie, her magenta hair flowing down her waist and her golden dress billowing in the breeze. Her Crescent moon continued to glow, as did her whole body. "It's time you witnessed my real Powers, Bloody Mary." She said coolly. "Because I'm not about to let you hurt anyone else."



SHAMPOO: That seem unfair. She have Magical Girl powers, Mary have two dead Pokémon only.



Mary's body almost seemed to tremble, however, she tried to cover her fear with a strong voice. "Princess or no Princess. You can't stop me from getting what I want."

Jessie began to glow more brighter than before.



ALL: (shielding eyes)

ANGIE: Geez, turn down the high beams why don't ya?



Her dress turned from gold to sea-green and her hair grew longer. Many pearls and other sequenced jewelry added to her costume. Everyone watched in awe.



VEGETA: . . . as the extra weight made Jessie crumple and fall. Mary stepped on her head one last time for good measure, and thus the fanfic ended. No? Damn.



"I am Neo Queen Jessica, Princess Jessie's future self." The Crescent Moon on her forehead disappeared. A new symbol of a Crescent Moon with a Star in the middle took its place. "I am the Queen of the Star of the Moon,



ALL: (snicker)

ANGIE: (Jessie) I am the Queen of the Star of the Earth of the Pokémon Island of the Pikachu of the "R" of the Moon!



ruling alongside Neo Queen Serenity in Crystal Tokyo." Eternal Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask looked at each other in shock.



SHAMPOO: Where Tuxedo Kamen come from?!?! Augh! Shampoo blink once -poof!- he there!

MOUSSE: Don't fret over it. A simple case of forgetfulness on CTR's part. Our author is guilty of that as well.

ANGIE: Don't mention that, the space/time continuum will collapse.

MOUSSE: Oops.



James felt his eyes begin to water.



VEGETA: In the confusion, Tuxedo Kamen had kicked James in the groin.



He was so happy. Jessie, his Princess, was alive.

Again, Mary laughed, attempting to hide her pain. "No matter. I can still finish you off..." But a blast into the side of the cliff made her think twice. She screamed and glared at Neo Queen Jessica with wide, petrified eyes.



ANGIE: (Mary) Did you SEE that?! The septic tank just exploded!



"This is the turning point for you, Mary," Neo Queen Jessica said harshly. "No longer will your evil ways keep us running."



MOUSSE: (Jessie) 'Though I must admit, they were kinda fun.



She rose her arms in the air and a small Crystal formed in her hands. It was as small as,



SHAMPOO: . . . as really small thing.



and looked like, the Silver Imperium Crystal, only it was red and white. It took the shape of a small Pokéball.



ALL: Oooooo, creative.



Eternal Sailor Moon knew of Crystal Powers all too well. "Stop, Jessie!"

"Why should she stop?" James asked. "She'll kill Mary."

She nodded sadly in reply. "Yes, but she will also kill herself."



VEGETA: (James) So? I fail to see the down point!

James fell to his knees.



ANGIE: Tuxedo Kamen had accidentally kicked him once again.



He looked up at Neo Queen Jessica who looked mournfully at him. "What?"



MOUSSE: (Jessie) Don't worry, I know how to use it! I've been using it to make nummy hot cocoa.



"Yes..." Jessie said.

"I don't want to lose you again." James cried. "I'd rather die for you!"



SHAMPOO: Which make no sense. He save girlfriend so she be with him by killing self? Shampoo miss something again?



Neo Queen Jessica left Mary for a moment and walked to James.



VEGETA: Baka-zura! Mary will run away!



She knelt beside him. "This is something I must do, James-sama. If Mary isn't stopped, she'll get worse and continue to get more powerful."



ANGIE: (James) Can't we, you know, call the police?

MOUSSE: (Jessie) No, that would be too simple.

VEGETA: (author) Where's the fun in THAT?



Jessie hugged him. "Let me do this." James only sobbed. Neo Queen Jessica turned back to Mary and, again, rose her arms into the air with the PokéCrystal floating between her palms.



SHAMPOO: (Jessie) Where Mary go? Shimatta, she take sappy moment to advantage and run!

VEGETA: Ooooo, the POKÉCrystal.



Bloody Mary backed up against the wall.



VEGETA: Boya-boya hito! You didn't RUN!?



"Please, you don't want to do this."

"You really are a coward," Jessie coughed. "You can join the rest of them in Hell!" Energy started gathering all around her and the Crystal. "Rocket Flame Escalation!" Jessie cried sending forth the Energy.



ANGIE: This is so exciting! Unfortunately, I oppose the use of violence. Think I can leave?

MOUSSE: The sad reproduction of a Sailor Moon attack.

SHAMPOO: Shampoo take nap?

VEGETA: You had better not.



Mary screamed as she was enveloped in flames of gold and green. The edge of the cliff began rumbling.

"We have to get out of the way!" Tuxedo Mask



ANGIE: . . . who is actually Darien . . .



cried. "The whole cliff will shatter us."



MOUSSE: (Mask/Kamen) Even though we are not made from glass and we won't shatter, but you get the idea!



He pushed Eternal Sailor Moon and began running.



SHAMPOO: (Mask/Kamen) Me sorry, Sailor Moon, but every hero for self!



When he noticed James was not following him, he ran back and drug him along.

"No!" James said reluctantly through sobs. "Let me stay!" But he was pulled along.

"Good-bye, James," Jessie said, a tear falling down her cheek.



VEGETA: (Conan O'Brien) A lone tear . . .



"I will always love you..." And the rocks were upon her.



ANGIE: (softly) If only they had heeded the "Beware: Falling Rocks" sign . . .



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: I would love to return to the top of the cliff, but it sort of fell on Jessie! Hahahahah! I'm back with the "return to top" riffs!

OTHERS: Huzzah!



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 18 -"Frozen Memories"



SHAMPOO: In Jessie's honor, popcicle company make new flavor.



James sat in Jessie room alone that evening. The place was still in shambles, on the account of the battle that had waged earlier. He was devastated and everything he looked at reminded him of her.



MOUSSE: Then get out of JESSIE'S room!

ANGIE: Smarrrrrrt.



Her. Jessie. Why did all this have to happen? James wished everything was just as how it had always been. He wanted to be just plain team rocket again. He wished Jessie had never been a Princess on the Moon. He wished he's never met Serena or Darien. He wanted all the magic to go away. He just wanted to be a normal Pokémon poacher, even if he was evil.



VEGETA: HE'S NOT EVIL! (takes a breath) Wow, that felt good! That released all my pent up energy. I think I can make it through the rest of this fanfic now! Just as long as people keep getting their eyes poked out and brains smashed in.



James remembered how things were before Jessie was discovered to be royalty. Those were the days: Laughs, Pokémon Battles, mocking little kids, trying to snatch Pikachu.



SHAMPOO: Hey, where ARE Brats?

MOUSSE: Ahhh, wonderful times of being blown up, humiliated, failing and being electrocuted over and over again.



Yes, that was how things always should have been.

Footsteps were heard running up the stairs. James looked over to the open doorway and saw Meowth and Meowthy enter. He had thought Meowth was upset with her, Maybe he changed. James sobbed harder. Even Meowth had a love!



ANGIE: Sadly, if only Meowth had been at the scene of the fight, Jessie would still be alive. Funny how fate works.

VEGETA: Don't tell James that, he'll murder the guy!



"James...?"

He did not move. He just sat on Jessie's bed crying. Meowthy looked at him sadly. "Meowthy is sorry," she said in her harsh-English voice. "Meowthy did not know what Mary do. Mary very evil."



MOUSSE: Another relative of yours, Shampoo?

SHAMPOO: Shampoo no know these cats!



At this she leaned her head on Meowth's shoulder and let a few tears fall.



ANGIE: (Meowthy) Meowthy no mean that . . .



James half-listened. He did not really care about anything or anyone else but Jessie at this point. He felt lonely and lost, like a small child wandering helplessly in the woods. The child tries to call for help, but no one is around to hear him. This was how James looked, abandoned.



VEGETA: Only CTR could come up with such an elaborate metaphor.



Meowth noticed how pale his friend looked. He told Meowthy to stay put and walked over to James' foot and jumped up on his lap. "I know it's hard...."



MOUSSE: (Meowth) . . . but Jessie is long dead, crushed under the rocks, her blood and guts splattered all around. You have got to get over it.



Finally moving, James shook his head furiously. "No!" he yelled, standing up so Meowth tumbled off his lap. "You shall NEVER understand!" his voice lowered a bit, but still keeping its same intensity. "I have just lost Jessie, the one person I care about most in the entire world. She is gone and will never come back..."



SHAMPOO: Learning 'bout death hard for James.



He sat back down on the bed again and cried. Meowth and Meowthy watched him and tears gathered in their eyes. "Just leave me alone." James said. The Pokémon sadly exited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serena and Darien had Susan pick them up from Team Rocket Head Quarters.



VEGETA: Susan? Susan . . .

ANGIE: Uhmmmmmmmm, SETSUNA! That's who!

MOUSSE: That would explain how she found them in that other Dimension, she IS the Senshi of Time and Space after all.

SHAMPOO: If only Robu-san no cancel her power here on SoD, we could be happy at home.



She saw the tearstains on their faces. "Sometimes, not even I cannot change the Future," Susan sighed regretfully as she drove her car on the highway.



ANGIE: (Setsuna/Susan) Especially since I'm not allowed to use my powers like that.



"Sailor Pluto knows everything that happens, has happened, and will happen, but she cannot change it." Her beautiful purple eyes became misty.

Darien kept his eyes down the entire time. A lot of this was his fault. He had been brainwashed by Bloody Mary and raised havoc. He had given Jessie much pain, and now, she was dead. He glanced over at Serena who sat in the front with Susan. Her face could not be seen, but he could hear her muffled sobs.



VEGETA: And WHY couldn't Mamoru see her face, because he was trying to look at her with his missing eye! (lol)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: Tears become angry. Too many tears! They gather! They attack soon!



Having lost their battle, the Rocket Brothers walked out to the piled boulders in front of Head Quarters. Mary had been killed by Jessie. Her plan had backfired on her.



MOUSSE: It was SUCH a foolproof plan!

ANGIE: Typical Team Rocket. Even when they are scary and insane, their plans still don't work.



However, thy were both dead. So much for listening to older siblings!

Jack ran to one of the boulders and began lifting it. The others watched him curiously. "Mary...? Where is she? Where's her body?" Jack told his brothers that she deserved a proper funeral. They nodded in agreement and began looking for their sister.



SHAMPOO: And no one care? Where rest Team Rocket? On vacation? They leave Musashi-tachi and Rocket siblings alone?

VEGETA: Just as long as no one comes sliding down the hallways dressed only in underwear, a blouse, socks and sunglasses, singing, that's fine with me.



As they were digging, a few rocks stirred. It seemed there was moving underneath the rubble. Tack put down one of the rocks he was lifting and walked over to the shaking.



MOUSSE: When scared, you should always approach the subject of your fright.



Could Mary be alive?



ANGIE: Did she manage to eat some Ambrosia before dying? Oh, damn!-- (shoe hits her) Groaaaaan.



At once, he lifted the boulder. Light beamed out, knocking him aside.



SHAMPOO: (light) 'Scuse me!



"What the Hell?" Jack asked as he looked over. The edge of the cliff started shaking again.

"Oh my God!" Zack gasped. More rocks and boulders started tumbling again. "We're gonna die!"

The brothers screamed as the boulders came crashing down on them. They suffered the same, cruel fate as their sister had.



VEGETA: Even though I thought I'd never admit this, but . . . (sniff) I LIKED them.

ANGIE: If only the "Beware: Falling Rocks" sign was larger.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meowth sat with Meowthy outside the doorway. He looked at her. "I wish dere was something we could do to help..."

"Yes," Meowthy said with a monotone voice.

He then sighed and leaned against the wall. "But it's not like we have Powers.



MOUSSE: (Meowth) Even though we can make coins appear out of nowhere, others can breathe fire, others can make giant cyclones of water, and some have ESP, but no Powers . . .



"We're plain Pokémon,



SHAMPOO: As oppose to plain animal.



nothing magical about us at all."



ANGIE: I wonder, was CTR trying to put the same point as we were across, just she was being more subtle about it?



Then Meowth remembered Matt.



VEGETA: Ahh, yes, flashback to the disturbing MATT story.



He may have been a human, but he was just a normal one. That also triggered the thought that he loved Meowthy so much. He couldn't keep any secrets from her. "Meowthy," he began as he took her paws in his. "I must tell you something..."

Meowthy looked up at him. "Yes?"

"I love you a lot, and I don't wanna keep anything from ya. Da truth is, I'm not really a Pokémon at all." Her eyes widened.



MOUSSE: Silently, Meowthy is asking herself, "Why me?"



"I haven't even told Team Rocket about dis, but I am really human. When I was a boy, I was kidnaped by Giovanni and turned into the only talking Pokémon.



SHAMPOO: (Meowth) Discount Gastly me met once . . .



Meowth was what I became, but my real name is Matt."

Meowthy laughed a little, unbelieving. "What? Meowth, why are you telling me this?"



ANGIE: To disturb US.



"Because I love you, and I don't want you ta think I'm weird, or anything."



VEGETA: Noooo, not weird at all!



He voice trailed off.

Her eyes were as soft as her voice at this point.



MOUSSE: (Meowthy) Every time I meet a guy he's either married or a boy that was turned into a Meowth.



"Meowth, no matter who or what you are, I cannot stop loving you. When I first saw you, my heart jumped, and I felt as if it started beating with yours." Meowth and her both blushed.

"I've kept all dose frozen memories of my childhood inside of me for so long," Meowth said as he began to cry. "I've never forgotten what it was like to be human, and I never want to. But, I also never want to lose you, Meowthy."

The two huddled and purred. Even Pokémon could be human.



ANGIE: Especially if they WERE human.

SHAMPOO: (sobbing) It so touching!



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: If Shampoo floods the theater with tears, we'll hafta go to the top of SOMETHING.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 19 -"Touched By An Angel"



MOUSSE: Hey! No touching the merchandise!

ANGIE: (sarcastic) Haha, good one, Mousse.

MOUSSE: Hey, instead I could've said "SUE CTR!" for the use of that title.

ANGIE: I suppose that IS better . . . but not by much!



Serena sat in front of the pretty dresser in her room.



SHAMPOO: Oh, it PRETTY dresser? It no "ornate" or "beautiful".

VEGETA: You're only saying that 'coz you have a thesaurus with you.

SHAMPOO: (throwing book like object behind her seat) Shampoo no have thesaurus!



She was in her usual bunny-pajamas and was combing out her golden hair,



ANGIE: I actually consider it CHEESE colored, don't you agree?



which hung loose and was not up in her normal style. She ran her comb through it, making it softer and lighter. Serena kept her focus on her mirror, not able to take her eyes off the reflection of her large blue eyes.



VEGETA: (Usagi/Serena) God, I'm gorgeous.



Jessie had blue eyes.

A creak was heard as her door opened. Serena did not turn around to look. Luna entered with a calm, yet sad expression on her feline face. She walked over to Serena and jumped on her dresser, talking to her reflection. "How are you doing, Serena?"

The young woman did not respond. She sat there, brushing her hair. She never glanced away from the eyes for a moment. Why would Luna care? She did not understand...



MOUSSE: Can you explain it to us, Usagi-sama?



"Serena," Luna began again. "Susan told me everything. I know you must feel awful. You lost one of your friends, and..."



SHAMPOO: (Luna) . . . you no use Magic Girl powers to save her.



"You don't know!" Serena suddenly screamed. She stood up and knocked Luna off the table. Luna landed on her side with a thud, making a small meowing noise.



ALL: Hey!!!!!

ANGIE: Woah, de javu!



Serena realized what she had done and knelt down beside her friend. "Luna," she cried. "I'm so sorry!" She took Luna in her arms and cradled her.



VEGETA: Luna's broken and bloody body.

MOUSSE: Feeling dark, are we?

VEGETA: I ALWAYS feel dark, what're ya talkin' about?



"I didn't mean to..."

Luna growled a little as if in pain. "I know, Serena. You're very upset."

Serena nodded as tears fell from her eyes like raindrops. "Jessie was as important to me as my other Scouts. She was like an older sister to me during the Silver Millennium."

"I know, Serena-chan. I know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: The tears grow larger! We be killed!



Darien was in his kitchen making himself a pot of hot coffee.



ANGIE: Which was originally green tea in the Japanese version . . .



It had been a long day, and he figured he would probably be up all night, mourning.



VEGETA: Trying to fit a glass eye into his eye socket.



Why did he always fall victim of being involved in an evil scheme to hurt others? It always happened. Either some evil woman was totally obsessed with him, or he was brainwashed into doing something he'd rather not do.



MOUSSE: That probably always happens to him 'coz he's not as strong as he'd like people to think he is. Truly, he is nothing but a puss.



He loved Serena so much and hated to hurt her.

But Tuxedo Mask was nothing!



VEGETA: He just realized this? Stupid capeboy . . .



He could not do anything. He was just some rose-throwing freak who could only talk and not do anything.



VEGETA: Thank you for coming to terms, Mamoru! He DOES suck. He really DOES!

ANGIE: What did he ever do to you, Vegeta-kun?

VEGETA: He stole from me!

ANGIE: What?

VEGETA: I was close to collecting all seven DragonBalls which had been accidentally sent to the satellite, then he was brainwashed by someone and he stole the last one and threw it out the garbage chute! And the garbage chute jettisons the trash into space! I was gonna wish us all home!

ANGIE: I don't think I like Tuxedo Mask anymore, either.



Darien was more helpful than he ever would be. He pulled his mask out of his pocket.



SHAMPOO: (Mamoru/Darien) So THAT what been poking me!



It still had a few blood-stains on it from the massacre. BLEACH could fix that...

As he walked down the apartment stairs to the laundry room, Darien heard many people chattering and a large commotion outside. He walked out the doorway and turned to a woman next to him. "Excuse me, but what's going on?"

The woman looked at him with large eyes. "My boy, it was...I was..." She turned away and continued looking upward. "...It was miraculous!"



MOUSSE: (woman) Bill Clinton told a TRUTH!

ANGIE: What is it with you and lame jokes lately?

MOUSSE: My creative storages are near empty.



Darien figured he wouldn't get anything more out of her. He looked around the crowd and saw close by. "Andy!"

The video game store owner



VEGETA: Wow, Motoki really went up in the world. From arcade worker to arcade OWNER.



took his eyes off the sky and saw his friend. "Darien!



SHAMPOO: (Motoki/Andrew) What happen to eye?!



You won't believe what I just saw flying past your window!"

"My window?" Darien gasped. "Everyone's looking..." He looked at all the heads of the crowd. It was true that they did seem to be staring at Darien's apartment in awe. "What was outside my window, Andrew?"

Andrew sort of smiled and his olive eyes were bright with enthusiasm. "I think it was an...Angel."

"What?"



ANGIE: He said: "I THINK IT WAS AN...ANGEL!!!!!!"

MOUSSE: (rubbing ears as do Shampoo and Vegeta) Thank you, Angie.

SHAMPOO: Shampoo think Shampoo deaf!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serena's mother turned on the television and changed channels to the news. She was washing dishes and wanted to hear about the world while she busily worked.



VEGETA: Since her existence was bleak and meaningless, and all she did was cook and clean for the kids and "The Boss".



She hummed a little tune to herself as she saw the broadcaster come one.

"Well, we have a very interesting story this evening," the reporter announced with a puzzle look.



ANGIE: (reporter, puzzled) Somehow, someone managed to pants me . . .



Serena's younger brother Sammy entered the living room. "Hey, mom..."

"Shhh!" Mrs. Tsukino said. "I want to hear this."

"It seems as if many witnesses walking by this apartment all saw a natural phenomenon."



MOUSSE: I always consider seeing an angel a natural occurrence.



"That looks an awful lot like Serena's friend Darien's house," she said.

"Everyone here claims to have seen a beautiful Angel."



SHAMPOO: And we all know who Angel is?

MOUSSE & VEGETA: Yes.

ANGIE: No.

OTHERS: Baka.

ANGIE: Excuse me for not seeing the obvious!



Sammy rolled his eyes. "You can never depend on what garbage the news'll throw on these days. That's why I watch cartoons..."



ALL: Cartoons RULE!



"HUSH!" Mrs. Tsukino howled as she bopped Sammy over the head with a large, wooden spoon. "This is beautiful."

"One witness describes what he saw."

An old man came into view on the screen.



SHAMPOO: It Happosai!

MOUSSE: (Happosai) She wore pink panties and a lacy bra. I wanted that bra. So I stole it! And she became more radiant than before . . .



"It was a gorgeous, young woman dressed in golden light and surrounded by large feather wings. She was very graceful and seemed to watch the window of that apartment." He pointed up to Darien's window.

The broadcaster nodded. "Thank you. This is the man who's window was, shall we say, 'touched by an Angel'."



ALL: (mock laugh)

VEGETA: Let's say not and say we did.

ANGIE: Broadcaster humor . . . sigh.



Darien was now on the screen. Mrs. tsukino and Sammy gasped. "Mister Shields,



ANGIE: So, Darien gets an English last name while Serena keeps her Japanese? Maybe DiC DOES suck . . .

VEGETA: Not as much as Funimation!

ANGIE: Touche.



did you see the Angel?"



SHAMPOO: Maybe it Angel from "Buffy"?

MOUSSE: Eww, pray to God not, that'd be a TERRIBLE crossover! Pokémon, SM and Buffy.



Darien shook his head. "No. I had no idea about any of this up until a few minutes ago."



ANGIE: Maybe the Angel was on his BLIND side! Hah!



Mrs. Tsukino went to the bottom of the staircase and called for her daughter. "Serena, I think you'd better come see this..."



VEGETA: (Ikuko-mama) And since when did Darien have only one eye?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jessie! Where are you?"

"Help me, James!"

"Jessie! Jessie!"

"If you don't stop Bloody Mary, I'll die!"

"No! No..."

James opened his eyes and felt his surroundings. Soft. Cushion. Bed.



ANGIE: Lace. Leg. Woman. Bre--

SHAMPOO: (with hand over Angie's mouth) No no.



He sighed and sat up. It was only a dream. Still, Jessie was alive in that dream. He looked around Jessie's torn-apart room. Everything around him was a part of Jessie. His hand reached for something on her dresser. It was a Pokéball. Arbok.



MOUSSE: Maybe he should do something with Jessie's room. Fix it up. Make a rec. room.

VEGETA: (James) Hmmmm . . . maybe . . .



He got up and walked all the way down to the cafeteria. James had to eat something. He hadn't eaten something for almost twenty-four hours. Maybe even longer. On his way down, there was no sign of Meowth or Meowthy. "At least they're happy," he grumbled aloud. When he reached the cafeteria, he found it empty, to his surprise. Sure, he was usually the first customer down to eat, but the cooks were always there ahead of him. "Hello?" James called. His voice echoed throughout the desolate corridors. It seemed the whole Head Quarters had just vanished. Where was everyone?



ANGIE: That's what we've been asking ever since Usagi and Mamoru crashed in front of HQ!



"Am I the only one here?"



VEGETA: Don't you remember, James? You went on a bloody rampage, killed and ate everyone in HQ.



There was a long pause. Suddenly a voice answered him. "No..."

James whirled around. No one was there. "Who...?"

"I am here." the voice piped out again. It was sort of sad, and melancholy.

Again, James turned toward the direction of the voice. Again, no one was present. "What's going on?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serena had run as fast as she could to Darien's apartment.



SHAMPOO: (makes various gasping and pain-filled noises in Serena's voice)



If there was something strange going on, she should know about it. Was it a new enemy? The description of the character seemed somewhat familiar to that of Sailor Galaxia.



MOUSSE: I LOVE Sailor Galaxia! She's so cool!

VEGETA: (pokes him) Otaku.

MOUSSE: Am not! She took me on a date once. It didn't work out too well, especially when she found out I turn into a duck, but she's a good friend now.

VEGETA: (pokes him again) Otaku.



All she could think about were the words 'Golden' and 'Angel'.

When she reached the apartment,



ANGIE: . . . she had had three heart attacks. She needed to lay off the *donuts* for a bit.



most of the crowd had dispersed. Serena frantically ran up the stairs to his room. She knocked on the door. "Darien! Are you alright?"

"Serena?" came a voice. Serena breathed a sigh of relief. Darien answered the door. "What are you doing here, Serena-chan?" he smiled.

She pushed him out of her way and ran into the room, inspecting it closely. Darien watched her curiously. "Are you sure nothing has happened?" she asked suspiciously.



SHAMPOO: Shampoo no know. You think, even this far in storyline, Usagi be THIS responsible?

ANGIE: Nah, I think it would be more believable if Haruka and Michiru showed up, or Rei and Ami.

SHAMPOO: We only see Setsuna and Rei . . . me miss other Senshi.

OTHERS: Yeah . . .



Darien shrugged. "Nothing except for that Angel thing. You heard about that, didn't you?"

"Yes. That's why I'm here..."

"I didn't even know about it. I just heard others."

Serena's eyes narrowed.



VEGETA: (Usagi/Serena) I have a feeling he's lying, by why would he?



"It's probably an enemy," she said.



MOUSSE: (Usagi/Serena, dumb) Or a REALLY big firefly.



"I'll bet she was watching you because she somehow knew you were Tuxedo Mask.



ANGIE: And she's probably in love with him and wants to brainwash him.



I think it's Sailor Galaxia..."

"Slow down, Serena!" Darien laughed. "If it is anything, I think it's good." The meatball-head looked at him questioningly. He smiled and nodded. "When they said Angel, it reminded me of you."



SHAMPOO: Ohhh, how sweet. (aside to Angie) Hand me shoe . . .



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James turned in every direction looking for the person beckoning him. "Who are you...?"

The voice danced in a mournful way.



VEGETA: Yet it was still a beautiful dance.



"Follow me, James."



MOUSSE: (James) Maybe if I could SEE you.



He followed, still asking questions and not once stopping to think about if he was walking into a trap of some sort. The voice kept calling to him in a sad tone, almost monotonous. He was led all the way back up the stairs into Jessie's room again. After he entered, the door shut behind him tightly. He spun around and grabbed the knob. James began pulling, but the door wouldn't budge.



ANGIE: (James) Damn, I screwed up again, didn't I?



"What do you want?" He looked around his shoulder and saw a golden light hovering above Jessie's bed.



SHAMPOO: (light) Me Marmalade of Christmas Past.

ANGIE: Oh, great, not you too, Shampoo!

SHAMPOO: Shampoo's creative reserves waste away . . .



"Don't try to leave me, James, because I won't let you!" the voice replied, almost stubbornly. At once the light shifted into a familiar figure.



VEGETA: (James) Oh, great, it's Bloody Mary. Why don't you go bug Mamoru or something, everyone seems to like him!



James' eyes widened and filled with tears.



MOUSSE: Somehow, Mamoru had come back and kicked him in the groin once again.



He at once let go of the handle. "...J-J-Jessie...?"



ANGIE: THAT'S who the angel is!

SHAMPOO: . . . . duh . . . .



Jessie sat on her bed. She almost looked like her normal self, Team Rocket uniform, and all. However, on her forehead was the symbol of the Star inside the Crescent Moon and huge Angel Wings were on her back.



VEGETA: Can I have a pair of Angel Wings? I've been a good junior Angel.



"Hello again, partner. Prepare for trouble!"



MOUSSE: (Jessie) In more ways than one, of course.



James fell to his knees and crawled over to her bedside. "Jessie," he sighed. "You're.."

"...An Angel, yes." Jessie said gravely. "I am dead." James cried, leaning his head on her lap. She rubbed it gently.



ANGIE: Ooo, awkward sentence.



"But, how I wish I was alive again, and could be near you. I did what I had to, and Mary will no longer bother you again."

He wept. "How could you do this to me, Jess? Even if Mary had taken me, at least you still would've been alive. Now you leave us both in misery."



ALL: (angrily) Hey, yeah!



Jessie took up his chin.



MOUSSE: Leaving the rest of him behind.



"Tell me you wouldn't have been in misery with Mary!" He didn't say anything. "That would have been better? Knowing we were both alive but could never see each other?"

"But now I'm alive and can't see you..."

A small tear fell down Jessie's cheek.



VEGETA: There's that lone tear again.



"I know. But, I will always love you, James. No matter what happens."

He nodded. The two spent what little time they had caressing that moment together.



ANGIE: How can you "caress" a "moment" with "together"?



______________________________________________________________________________



SHAMPOO: Shew, look like tears is calm . . . for now.



Chapter 20 -"And One Lived On..."



VEGETA: Oh . . . my . . . Can it be? Chapter TWENTY?

ANGIE: Ods me bodkins! It is!

MOUSSE: The last chapter!

(all cheer)



Meowth and Meowthy took up a fast scurry as they headed back towards Team Rocket Head Quarters.

"Did'ja see it?" Meowth gasped.

Meowthy nodded. "Yeah! You think it could be true? Could she...?"

"I dunno,"



SHAMPOO: Thank you, Meowth.



The two bolted up the stairs. "At dis point, I believe anything can happen."



ANGIE: (Meowth) If I can (sings) REACH higher! (talk) Then anything can happen.

VEGETA: That was odd.

ANGIE: Why, thank you, Vegeta-kun.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James and his Angel seemed to hear the pitter-patter of tiny footprints running up the staircase.



MOUSSE: (Jessie) Oh, and by the way, we have children. Bye!



Soon, there were a few knocks.



SHAMPOO: Oh no! Meowth and Meowthy fall down stair!



Jessie looked over at James worriedly.

"I cannot let anyone see me like this." James didn't understand what she meant. She just shook her head sadly, blew him a kiss, and disappeared.

"Jessie?" James blinked. "Where did you go?"

"James!" Meowth called. "Are you okay?"

James opened the door



ANGIE: . . . from the bed he was sitting on, with his mind . . .



and was almost knocked over when Meowth and Meowthy rushed inside. "Hello, Meowthy."

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

"Jessie!" Meowthy smiled. "She came up here. We saw her! She's alive."



VEGETA: So much for not letting anyone see her.



James sadly lowered his head. "No. She's not." The two Pokémon looked up at him unbelieving. What you saw was the beautiful Angel of her. Jessie of Team Rocket is no more."



SHAMPOO: (dramatic) Jessie of Team Rocket no more!

MOUSSE: (echoing her) Jessie of Team Rocket is no more!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serena and Darien stood on the apartment landing, holding each other close. They were silent for a long time, letting the events of the past month sink in. The Vision, the re-encounter with Team Rocket, the fight, Jessie's death.



VEGETA: . . . the falling through a dimensional portal to get to TRHQ, Darien's glass eye . . .



Although they weren't really crying, they felt great sadness in their hearts.



ANGIE: Didn't Chief Joseph say that?



They knew they were both helpless with the matter and did not have the power to do anything. The battle over Bloody Mary may have been won, but no one was really happy.

This was always the hardest part about being a super hero.



MOUSSE: Having to wear those super-tight fit briefs outside of your costume. Wait, I'm thinking about AMERICAN super heroes.



Having Powers or being overly special always got you mixed into great webs. Many of your friends suffer greatly for it. Serena recalled the times of death and sadness. She was in such a gloomy mood!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



ALL: (snicker)

SHAMPOO: You wanna end scene like THAT? Okay, not Shampoo's 'fic . . .

ANGIE: Maybe CTR was getting sick of the mushy stuff herself.



Feeling utterly exhausted and saddened, James fell asleep again. He had another dream about Jessie, however, she was Neo Queen Jessica. The dream was more of a reflection of what had happened earlier. He saw Mary being crushed by the rocks, and then Jessie joining her. She died without uttering a sound.



VEGETA: Like a deer in the headlights.



James' eyes shot opened



ANGIE: Ping!~



and he jumped out of the bed with a new explosion of energy.



MOUSSE: Suuuuuurge!!!



He ran out of the room, down the staircase, and outside to the great rock pile.



SHAMPOO: Hey! Hey! Great Tree other cousin! Great Rock Pile! (lol)

OTHERS: (snicker)



He started digging through the large boulders near the place Jessie's life had ended.



VEGETA: (James) Hmm, this is Jack, not Jessie. Tack . . . Mack . . . Zack . . . Where's Jessie!?



Finally, he found her, bloody and brutally massacred.



ANGIE: (as passing Rocket) Hey, James, what are you doing on the Great Rock Pile, and-- OMIGOD! Jessie!!!!



He gently lifted her out of the pile, trying not to break her up even more than she already was. There was a great pain that surged through his body. "Jessie, you look terrible," he sobbed. James touched her face. So lifeless. It seemed like just the other day the two were laughing and riding in their big Meowth Balloon. They had a new plan to capture Pikachu this time and would not fail.



MOUSSE: They were going to DIG A HOLE!



Pokémon poaching now hardly seemed important.



SHAMPOO: Where Ash and friends? What up with them? Misty find out she pretty Sasami's crime-fight partner?

VEGETA: Now THAT would be an interesting crossover.



He took her to the empty cafeteria and lay her on one of the tables.



ANGIE: (James) Buffet open!!

SHAMPOO: (raises fist, POed)

ANGIE: (cowering) Okay, that was insensitive . . .



Jessie, the only love of his life, was really gone! The realization was too much to bear. There was still hope, yet. James had the sense that Jessie was magical, in a way.



ALL: No! You don't say!



Maybe she could come back.

James knelt down on the ground, lowered his head, and clasped his hands together. He concentrated as much as he could on the Moon Kingdom. "Please, Queen Jessica, mother of Princess Jessica and Neo Queen Jessica of the Star of the Moon Kingdom, I beg you to hear my prayer. Please bring my Jessie back to me!"



VEGETA: Oh-oh, yes. DON'T pray to GOD or JESUS, or BUDDHA, or even HADES or ARIANRHOD, even ANWN. Pray to JESSICA! Geez!



James waited for over twenty minutes, never moving from his position.



ANGIE: (passing Rocket) Hey, James, Jessie.

SHAMPOO: (other passing Rocket) Hello, Jessie and James!

MOUSSE: (another passing Rocket) Hi there, how are you guys?

VEGETA: (Giovanni passing by) Have you two caught that Pikachu yet?



Nothing happened. Yes, Jessie was really gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meowth watched Meowthy as she slept on the soft, green grass spread out in front of them. The two were in a meadow near Head Quarters, surrounded by nothing but flowers and blue sky. He felt very peaceful out here. This was the place he could reflect on all that happened. His friend Jessie was no longer here, but he had Meowthy.



ANGIE: And maybe he would have some trout for dinner.



Of course, the death was terrible, but it was time to move on. Now that Meowthy knew the truth about him, he felt relieved. Meowth never wanted to leave her. All that past which has been sealed up inside of him was finally free!



MOUSSE: His inner-child could run wild!

SHAMPOO: That scary thought.



He didn't care if he was really a human or a Pokémon. Meowthy was all that mattered to him. She sat there, by his side, purring and huddled among the daffodils.



VEGETA: A giant earwig in her, well, ear.



She made him feel special. He certainly felt like Top Cat when she was with him.

Soon he would tell James of his past, but right now the boy needed to be left alone. Meowth put himself in James' boots



ANGIE: . . . and found they were too big.



and tried to understand how he would have felt if Meowthy was Suddenly...No! He could not bring himself to even dream of such a thing. James needed solitude. That was most certain.



MOUSSE: Sure he was suicidally unstable, but he needed to be left alone!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't cry, dear boy. Please don't! It makes my heart grieve."



MOUSSE: But I wasn't, I was riffing . . .



James looked up from the cafeteria bench. He had been crying again with his head hiding in his arms on the table. Again, he was surrounded by golden Light. He squinted his eyes and saw a figure. "Jessie?"

"No, I'm not Jessica. My daughter is not here." James' eyes widened and he recognized the woman. It was Queen Jessica, Jessie's mother.



SHAMPOO: Moonfolk uncreative with names.



She smiled at him, which James thought a little rare. Queen Jessica, he had thought, did not like him very much. She hadn't even wanted Jessie to marry him. "Right now, she is visiting another."

"What?" James gasped. "Another person other than me?"



VEGETA: (James, exaggerated) That TRASH!



Jessica got a sweatdrop. "You're not the only person in her life," she replied sheepishly.

"Why are you here?"

"You called me, didn't you?"

He could not believe this conversation. "That was over an hour ago!" James shouted, with the funny Anime-ish pose of growing big and fire surrounding him.



ANGIE: WHAT!?!?!?!



The Queen grinned and touched her two index fingers together a couple of times. "Well...We had traffic..." James fell over Anime-style.



ANGIE: (going ballistic) EXCUSE ME! JESSIE'S BLOODY BODY IS RIGHT THERE!!!!!

OTHERS: Ack! Quiet down!

ANGIE: I won't! That blew it! It may have been funnier if it wasn't in such a depressing situation! Jessie is laying bloody and broken and dead on the table RIGHT THERE and they start doing comedy relief? No! I WON'T "quiet down"!!! (KLUNK!) Ow. (falls over)

SHAMPOO: No need throw boot at Angie, Vegeta.

VEGETA: She was getting on my nerves.

SHAMPOO: No need use ki powers to LAUNCH boot at Angie!

VEGETA: Awww, she'll be fine.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darien had taken Serena home. He now was at his own apartment again sitting on his couch and drinking coffee.



SHAMPOO: Green tea.



He was about to turn on the television when he heard a knock on his door. "Who could that be?" he grumbled.



MOUSSE: (Mamoru/Darien) My favorite, humiliating, Japanese game show is on now!



Darien really didn't want to be bothered now. As he walked over to the door, a light wind seemed to surround him. This was odd because all the windows and doors were closed. However, the wind was warm and soft.



VEGETA: Should I make a comment at this point, no, better save it. It's kinda gross.

SHAMPOO: Arigatoo.



He stopped and turned around.



MOUSSE: (Mamoru/Darien, wonderment) Grandma?



There, enveloped in gold light and wrapped in large Angel's wings was Jessie.



SHAMPOO: (Jessie) You help Jessie? Jessie seem to have got wings tangled in light . . .



Darien rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not dreaming or seeing things. When he looked again, she was still standing there, serene and calm. Her symbol glowed brightly on her forehead. "Endymion," she said. "Do not be afraid. I am not here to hurt you or steal any of your Pokémon."



ALL BUT ANGIE: (confused) Hahahaha?



Darien wanted to laugh a little at that, but he was too surprised. He got closer to her and walked all the way around her.



MOUSSE: (Mamoru/Darien) Sorry, but ever since your boyfriend took out my eye, it takes me a bit to see all of everything.



She was really standing in his apartment! "Princess Jessica!" he smiled, and tried to hug her. Instead, he went straight through hand landed on his face.



VEGETA: (malicious laugh)



Jessie laughed. "I'm afraid you can only look and not touch,"



SHAMPOO: (Jessie) Thank goodness!



she said winking. "Being dead is a real drag. I'm bored as Hel...Uhhh...Heavan."



MOUSSE: They're trying so hard at comedy relief, but it's not time for that!

VEGETA: I think I'm finally starting to see why Angie was freaking out.

(Shampoo, remembering about Angie, leans over and picks her up, trying to shake her awake)



"I'm sorry," Darien said as he got on his feet. "But I'm glad you came to visit me."

"Yeah," Jessie nodded. "It's not the first time."

"What?" he gasped. "You were here before?"



SHAMPOO: (still shaking Angie) (Jessie) Duh!

ANGIE: (starts awake) (sings) Robot HELL!!! Huh? (looks around) I was having the weirdest dream . . .



Angel Jessie rolled her eyes.



ANGIE: Why didn't you leave me to sleep, Shampoo!

SHAMPOO: Shampoo no want Robu-san to get angry at R-D Earth Girl.



"Think, Tuxedo-brain! Read last chapter!"



ANGIE: Huh?

VEGETA: She said this wasn't the first time she visited him, and he asked if she were here before, then she said that.

ANGIE: (groans but doesn't say anything)



"You were the Angel that everyone but me saw..."

"Very good!" Jessie exclaimed giving Darien a golf-clap. "Endy, you figured it out."



MOUSSE: (Jessie) Your IQ grew from thirteen to fourteen! Congrats!

ANGIE: (sobs softly)



Darien laughed and scratched the back of his head. "You'll have to excuse me. I'm kind of upset today."

"Because of me?"

"Yeah. Everyone is." Darien's eyes wobbled. "We all really miss you."



SHAMPOO: (Mamoru/Darien) Even though me and Serena no see you for two years before.

ANGIE: (still sobs)



"I know," she replied. "I've seen you all grieving."

Darien quickly switched the subject. "So, why visit me before anyone else? Wouldn't there be others more important to you than me? After all, I helped Mary..."

Jessie shook her head. "No, you didn't mean to help Mary. I came because I needed you to know there are no hard feelings."

"What?"



VEGETA: She said: "I CAME BECAUSE--" (boot hits him) Ow!

ANGIE: (sobbing) Not now!

VEGETA: . . .



"Please do not blame yourself for anything. You must know that I am not mad at you or Serena, or any of the other Sailor Scouts. Is that better?"



MOUSSE: What did Ami, Rei, Mako, Minako, Setsuna, Michiru and Haruka do to her?



Darien half-way nodded. "Uhh...Yeah."

"Good!" Jessie grinned. "Now, I must go for good." Her eyes became heavy.



ANGIE: And -sniff- fell out of her head.

SHAMPOO: There, Angie feel better?

ANGIE: (like small child) Uh-huh.



She would have cried, but Ghosts don't cry.



VEGETA: Big ghosts don't cry.



Darien did, though.



MOUSSE: And I suppose big boys do cry, however.



"Good-bye, Jessie-chan. And thank you." Then she was gone. Darien looked at the floor. So, she didn't hate him. That was good to hear.



SHAMPOO: (Mamoru/Darien) Where was Darien? Oh yeah. Must See TV.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Queen Jessica and James sat for a long time talking about many things. They talked of Team Rocket, of James' past, of Jessie's past, the Moon Kingdom.



ANGIE: Hair.



At one point, Jessica even slipped up in telling him of Meowth's past. She sighed and told James to act surprised when Meowth told him.



VEGETA: He didn't hear that, of course, since he laid unconscious from shock on the floor.



James felt a little better after talking with her. They had managed to get past their differences and learned to accept each other. Both of them cared about Jessie (In different ways, of course)



ALL: Of course! Ew!



and had a few other small similarities.



MOUSSE: They both knew a lot about women's fashion, that was one thing.



All in all, they finally agreed with each other that James was better than Leonardo di Caprio.



ALL: MUCH!



Soon Queen Jessica turned away from him.



SHAMPOO: He make fun of her make-up, she pissed now.



"Ah, my daughter is finished. Now, I must go join her."

James frowned. "So you're both leaving forever?" Jessica nodded sadly. "Then you'd better go before I have



VEGETA: A conniption?



time to stop you. I hate good-byes!"

"Alright then, James," Jessica replied. "Good-bye, son-in-law." James looked up at her surprised. She smiled and kissed him on the forehead.

"But Jessie and I are not married..."

"Oh, but you will be!" Jessica laughed and disappeared.



MOUSSE: And faintly, her voice added, "In HELL! Bwahahahah!"



"Wait!" James shouted. "What do you mean?"

"BAKA!" came a very loud voice of Queen Jessica. James looked up towards the sky annoyed.



ANGIE: (James) Damn her and her knowledge of Japanese words in English dub!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Jessie's room, a small object glowed brightly. It was Jessie's PokéCrystal. It took on a mind of its own and rolled out the door and down the stairs. For its next trick, it needed to be near its Master.



SHAMPOO: (ringmaster) Then PokéCrystal jump through Hoop of Fire! (imitates sound of a whip cracking)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mother? What are you doing?"



VEGETA: (Queen Jessica) Patching your panties. James really tore them up!



"My darling daughter, it's not your time to be with me yet."

"What?"

"No, you still have a long time before you can rejoin me."



ANGIE: (Queen Jessica) I'm sorry, but God just doesn't like you, dear.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James heard a sound. It sounded like



MOUSSE: . . . some sort of SOUND . . .



something rolling across the floor. He looked over towards the noise and saw the small Crystal rolling straight to him. "What a day!" he groaned. "It makes my head hurt."



ALL: Tell us about it.



The Crystal suddenly shot up into the air and floated above the destroyed body of Jessie. "What's going on here?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's going on here?"

"Give your mommy a hug, Princess. It may be the last time I ever see you."



SHAMPOO: 'Though Jessie WILL die someday. Will she?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Crystal opened like a regular Pokéball. It poured out a Gold substance onto Jessie.



VEGETA: The Crystal's trying to get Jessie's body drunk.



"What do you think you're doing?" James growled at the Ball. "Stop it!"

The PokéCrystal ignored him and continued to do its job. When James reached out to grab it, it floated away from him and came back down, hitting him on the head.



ANGIE: (James) Hey, you dink! You killed my last brain cell!



"Ow! You stupid thing," he said rubbing his head.

When the Crystal was done, it closed again and remained floating above the body. Both objects began to glow. James looked on in awe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: Hey, it's the golden beer the Crystal was pouring onto Jessie! Where's my mug?



"Mother..."

"Go to him, Jessica. He needs you more than I do."

"Alright...I will!"



MOUSSE: (Jessie) Fine! Be that way, mother! I HATE you! I wish you were DEAD! Oh, you are! How dumb of me!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A finger twitched. An eyebrow quivered. Two eyes opened with new life. She spoke. James..."

His eyes wobbled and tears streamed down his cheeks. He smiled with delight. "Jessie!"

Jessie sat up on top of the table. She almost sparkled, with no damages or marks on her. She jumped off the table and ran into James' arms.



SHAMPOO: (sobs wildly) So beautiful!

ANGIE: Are you exaggerating?

SHAMPOO: No!

ANGIE: How sad.

SHAMPOO: It is, is not it?

ANGIE: No, YOU, you're sad!

SHAMPOO: You rude!



"It wasn't my time to go," she laughed. "Besides, I've still got a kingdom to rule when I become Queen. I also need a King beside me."

"Taking applications?" James sighed.



VEGETA: (Jessie) No, not at this moment.

MOUSSE: (James) Oh.



They held each other close, not wanting to lose each other ever again. Jessie would 'never let go.'



VEGETA: NO! Don't end with a "Titanic" quote!



The end



VEGETA: Argh!!!!

SHAMPOO: (still sobbing, but quietly)

MOUSSE: Is it over?



Epilogue



MOUSSE: Darn. I hope it's short.



Team Rocket Head Quarters towered over the small rock pile.



ANGIE: (Giovanni) We need to get rid of that thing.



The inhabitants underneath were dead...

A few boulders stirred.



ALL BUT SHAMPOO: Gasp!

SHAMPOO: (sob)



Suddenly they were pushed upward and out of the way by a white-gloved hand. The rocks continued to be dug away. Two large green eyes were visible.



VEGETA: Oh no! The green eyed monster!



A face poked out of the pile. Then the rest of the body pulled itself out.

The young man stood up and brushed his green hair out of his face. His brothers and sister were gone, but there was still a chance for him.

Yes, he would have his revenge.



MOUSSE: And thus stood the spaz, the one who lived on.



______________________________________________________________________________

HOME

______________________________________________________________________________



ANGIE: And that's all! And I'm gladd to see that Dr. Evil's vaccination worked. There wasn't ONE no no-paragraph break in this whole 'fic.

SHAMPOO: (sob) Hai hai.

VEGETA: Wait, didn't Jessica say during Rocket Princess I that Meowth and Meowthy have kittens?

SHAMPOO: (sob) Hai.

VEGETA: but they didn't in here . . .

ANGIE: Oh-ho, that means . . .

MOUSSE: There's a Rocket Princess THREE?

VEGETA: (cries along with Shampoo)

(all exeunt)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Rob Tapert stood close to his Comm Port screen, panting hard. Dirt was smeared across his face and grass from the field was in his hair. On his Italian suit were shreds of white and beige fur, and some of it was torn. "I don't have time for a review today, my little gnats, because, as you can see, I'm having a little difficulty catching that talking Primeape. It's smarter than I thought! It defeated all the Pokémon I had with me, and right now I'm hiding from it . . ."

Mousse and Angie just stared at him as Vegeta and Shampoo cried softly.

"What's the matter with those two?" he asked, jerking his head at them.

"Well," Angie began, "Shampoo was touched deeply by the ending of the fanfic and Vegeta just figured out that there is a Rocket Princess III."

"There's a Rocket Princess III!" Rob exclaimed. He smirked and gave Vegeta a cruel glare. "I'll have to find that for the next experiment."

"ANGIE!" Vegeta hollered, jumping to his full five foot five height. "Why did you SAY that!" He pulled off his boot and chucked it at her, using his ki to make the footwear to gain more acceleration. It smacked her in the center of her forehead and she fell over, unconscious, her eyes swirling.

Mousse sighed and shook his head, then noticed something behind Rob. "Robu-san! Watch out!"

The Primeape that Rob had been searching for had been sneaking up on the TV producer, but upon Mousse's warning it began to charge. Rob spun around and threw a Pokéball. With a bright flash of red light, the Primeape disappeared, sucked into the Ball. He turned back, tears pouring down his face with pride. "I finally got the elusive talking Primeape! Thank you, Mousse! For that, you won't have to read Rocket Princess III when I get it."

The near-blind boy fell to his knees and gave the mighty Mister Tapert many thanks and praises. Meanwhile, Angie still "Gaaaaaaed" on the floor and Vegeta and Shampoo continued crying. "Next Pokémon," Rob said to himself as he reached for the button to terminate the communications link, "I'm gonna find that Gastly that disguises itself as human ghosts . . ." Click!

Passing behind the couch in front of the Comm Port were the Captains, Jessica, Kasey and the irresistibly cute Cleopatra. "What did you do about Dr. Evil and Scott?" the redhead asked the brunette as they passed by, not noticing the worshiping Mousse and out-cold Angie.

"I put them into Professor Oak's family therapy class." Jessica answered, petting Cleo. "Children who have trouble with their fathers. Mini-Me's there, too."

A glint flashed from Kasey's green eyes. "The little freak's there?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Let's go see how the session is going."

They left Room 7 and entered Room 20 of the same Curve and Deck, where Professor Oak held his therapy sessions for both humans and Pokémon. Since they were Captains, they were allowed inside. In this hour there were the patients as follows: Dr. Evil, Scott and Mini-Me. Ranma Saotome with Genma who was in human form for once. Ryunosuke with her father, Fujinami, and Mari who was alone.

"Let me introduced the new people in our group," Oak announced in a soft, kind voice. "This is Dr. Evil, his son Scott Evil and his clone, Mini-Me. What is your trouble?"

Scott rolled his eyes and he said, "My dad doesn't understand me!"

Dr. Evil shot him a nasty look and replied calmly, "My son's not evil enough."

Scott pointed at the miniature version of Dr. Evil. "And he loves that little freak more than me! His son!"

Oak nodded. "Yes, quite common. Ranma, here, is angry with his father for engaging him to so many girls."

"In this last year on the SoD I've had three new fiancées!" Ranma shouted, glaring daggers at Genma, who ignored him.

"Hey, anything for food," Saotome-san declared, shrugging.

"Yeah, but all the food on the SoD is FREE, dad!"

"It is? Oops."

Oak gestured to Ryunosuke. "He is actually a she, but her father says she's a he and makes her look like a he as well!"

"Ryu is my son!" Fujinami shouted in defiance while Ryu held back the urge to punch him.

"Mari's," the professor continued, gesturing to the huge, masculine girl, "father isn't on the SoD with us, but she says that he pushed her to be this way."

"My father's a jerk!" Scott said lowly, crossing his arms and sulking.

"My son's a-a, what's the term I'm thinking of?" He made air quotations, and said, "'Baka'."

"I'M a baka!" Scott shouted. "No I'm not! You just won't give me a chance!"

"So," Professor Oak interrupted them, "Scott, you just want your father to listen to you."

"Yes, whenever I try to talk he does this stupid wordplay thing to shut me up. Like 'Zip it!' 'You gotta zip it!'" Makes the sound of a whip cracking. "Like that!"

"And, Dr. Evil. You just don't think your son's evil enough?"

"Right."

"But, you haven't given him a chance to prove it yet."

Dr. Evil almost replied, then closed his mouth. "I guess I haven't, have I?"

"No you haven't," Scott spat.

The doctor of evil turned and he had tears in his eyes. "I've had a break through! I'm so sorry, Scott." From behind him one could faintly hear the sound on Jessica sniffling and Kasey gagging.

Scott finally faced Dr. Evil, and was a bit disturbed to see his dad crying like he was, but, he guessed it was fitting. "I'm sorry, dad."

They hugged and everyone in the room awed, everyone but Mini-Me. Mini-Me, in fact, looked a bit irked off and was reaching for a knife or for some sort of weapon when his eyes suddenly became large. He gave a little, pain-filled squeak and fell over and off his chair.

"Kasey!" Jessica shrieked as everyone turned wide-eyed to the twitching clone.

The redhead was holding onto a blow gun and a couple of poisoned darts. "What?" she asked innocently.

"What did you do?"

"I killed Mini-Me."

"Why!" she sobbed.

"I don't like that little freak."

Jessica growled at her, then pointed to Oak. "Call Etoh, maybe he can save Mini-Me before the poison takes full effect."

"No!" Kasey bellowed, trying to run and stop Oak, but the other, larger Captain jumped on her and they began to get into quite the scuffle, the cat Captain joining in as well, until they all beat each other into exhaustion. Kasey watched helplessly as Etoh came into the room and tried to heal Mini-Me the best he could, but the clone was still in a coma and Etoh didn't know if he would come out of it, or not.

Kasey smirked in satisfaction until she heard Jessica breathe out, "If Mini-Me survived being out in space without a suit or oxygen, he can survive this."

With a sob, Kasey fell over, knocked senseless, as she realized she had failed.

The End

FUJINAMI: Umi ga suki!

______________________________________________________________________________

Oh, god! Yes! I am finished! Finished! Hahahahah! (starts to cry) This took me sooooo long. Oh, oh! Maybe now I'll have more time to work on the No-Life Sailors and the Search for Mewtwo! I have RP 3 left to do, but it isn't as long as this one, and with Episode 4 and 5 finished, I'll have a lot of time on my hands for a bit! I'm just so happy! Right now it's 9:54 PM, I missed Monty Python to finish this, I was so determined! The end kinda sucked, but I'm about ready to collapse. I actually like the ending, but others might not. I dunno. The thing is, I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!

12:21 the Next Day: I'm calmer now, but I feel much happiness at finishing this. Part B's pages plus Part A's comes up to ONE HUNDRED and EIGHTY-SIX pages on my computer all together. Can you believe that? Phew, I am definitely never going to do long 'fics again after RP 3. "Snapshot!" isn't that long, right? About ten or eleven pages. Well, I will leave now with a Monty Python joke, (my VCR kicked on and I managed to record it ^_^):



SGT: (Loudly) It is simple to defend yourself against this banana wielding fiend. First of all, you FORCE him to DROP the banana! Next you EAT the banana, thus disarming him! You have rendered him helpless!

MAN#1: Supposin' he's got a bunch?

SGT: Shut up!

MAN#2: Supposin' he's got a pointed stick?

SGT: Shut up!!



I love that skit . . .

______________________________________________________________________________



"Think, Tuxedo-brain! Read last chapter!"



© 1999 Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom



(Next "week's" episode-

"Episode Three: Rocket Princess III,

Jessica and Angie Get Lost,

Kasey Freaks,

and Cleo is Hit with Depression")