"The Satellite of 'Dite,

the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"

By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom

Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!

Smut: Uh~ debated

Violence: Hm~ debated



"Episode Two (Part A): Rocket Princess II,

Jessica Acts as a Mediator,

Kasey Kills Mini-Me,

and Cleo Attacks Austin Powers"

Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. "Rocket Princess" belongs to Chibi Team Rocket.

Quick Notes I: Jessica and Kasey are being replaced in the theater in this episode. First is Cleo and Austin Powers, then they hafta be taken out, then Dr. Evil and Scott, who also have to be taken out, then finally Shampoo and Mousse. I think I know their characters enough to use them, but if I go out of line, hey, remember, Vegeta wasn't always in character, yet he made you laugh and cry. Angie and the Saiyjin will stay in there, though, then I think Jessica and Kasey will come back in Rocket Princess III.

A Big Thanks: Thank you Chibi Team Rocket! I'm so happy happy that you let me use your fanfics!

Quick Notes II: This MSTing was just too long, so I split it up into Part A and B, but it is still all one episode.



~*~*~*~*~*~



"You know what I just realized?" Jessica asked as she put down her book that was on faeries.

"Huh?" Kasey looked up from her drawing notebook.

"Mrew?" Cleo shook her head as she woke up from her catnap on the Captains' Counter.

"We don't have a theme song for the 'Satellite of 'Dite' story, but we did for 'Mythological Fantasy Greek Theater 1182 B.C.'."

"Why, you wanna write one right now?" Kasey inquired sarcastically. "Our last one was written while we were in a drug-induced state. THANK YOU, ROB!" she called into the sky.

"No, not really," Jessica replied, patting her side, inviting Cleo to jump onto her lap as she reclined in an armchair. An idea struck her. "Ah! What if we ask Minmei from Robotech to write one."

Kasey grimaced while Cleo hissed. "I think not. Besides, we turned her into an Aninite, remember."

"Oh yeah, good thing no one but her drunk cousin liked her the little bit-- ahem, anyway. What about Rei?"

"Rei? Rei Ayanami?"

"No, Hino Rei."

"Oh, Sailor Mars! . . ." she paused and went back to her drawing. "I think not."

"Who else can write and sing?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Just make sure you keep Karigari away from the microphone."

Remembering the karoke disaster the other night, where Hibiki made him sing again and again, Jessica groaned and rubbed her temples. "Don't remind me of that! Tyenol did not help!" She smiled and winked at Camharpy, "Although it does work on many migraine headaches, just not the ones caused by AWFUL singing! Buy Tyenol now!"

"Jessica?" Kasey asked, sounding a bit worried.

"Yes?"

"Who are you talking to?"

"The consumers!" She turned back to Camharpy. "And don't forget Tyenol Cold and Sinus. Even though I don't get sinus problems, nor use aspirin during a cold, may I suggest using it anyway."

"Jessica, shut up now," the redhead ordered as she drank from a Pepsi can, turning it so Camharpy's camera could see it clearly. "Mmm, it's a generation thing."

Sighing, Jessica scratched the top of her head. "How long has it been since we read 'Rocket Princess'?"

Kasey counted off her fingers, "About a week."

"A week?"

"That's what I said."

The brunette sat up in the chair, holding onto her cat so she wouldn't fall off when she put down the foot recliner. "I haven't SEEN my cousin for a week! Do you know what happened to Angie?"

Her friend shook her head. "Nope." She paused and thought hard. "You know, I also haven't seen Bardok for a few days either . . ."

Jessica groaned and gripped her head. "Oh! I don't wanna think about it!"

Suddenly, a cheerful voice rang out, "Hi, Jessica!"

She shrieked and spun her chair around to find Angie right behind her. "Angie! Where were you! You've been gone for a week!"

"Lucky you," Kasey mumbled, "you got to miss Karigari sing."

Angie smiled cheerfully. "Bardok offered to show me to a spare room, but then we got lost in Curve C, and we just found our way back!"

"Oh, Angie," Jessica patted her hand as if she were a simple person. "Your room is right next to mine in Curve D. Two decks above Deck 2!"

"It is?" she cocked her head. She then shrugged. "Oh, well. I did have some fun with Bardok, though!"

"Oh, yuck!" she groaned, removing her hand from Angie's.

Kasey pointed an accusing finger at Jessica. "Hey, don't complain! I once walked in on you with James!"

Jessica turned red. "We were just playing poker, Kasey. Jessie was there, too, along with Brock, but they went to get snacks from Satyr."

"Poker my butt! You were in your bra and James had no pants or shirt!"

She hemmed and covered an eye. "We were playing strip poker. Brock was winning. You should've seen Jessie though!" she squealed, trying to change the subject to some other person. "She went to the galley withOUT a bra!"

They heard a lewd giggle and they turned to see teenage Trunks and Goten walking by them. They called back, "We saw that!"

"Hah! See!"

As Kasey was going to change the subject, or yell more at Jessica, whatever, the Comm Port began to ring. The Captains and Angie, and everyone else in Room 7, turned towards it. It clicked on and there was the face of Rob Tapert, only he wasn't in the office, he was now in a tall grass field.

"Hello, Jessica, Kasey, Cleopatra and every other pathetic person aboard the SoD." There were a few growled "hi"s. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come back and torture you, but as you can see I'm searching for an elusive Pokémon."

"What one?" James called from the karoke stage, where he had been singing the famous "Lucky Lucky" song.

"A Primeape."

Ash, from one of the tables below the stage, laughed heartily. "That's not elusive! He's easy to catch!"

"Yeah!" Misty called, poking Ash in the cheek. "Even HE managed to catch it!"

"Well," Rob continued undaunted, "this one can talk like a human and is quite smart."

Kasey sighed and rolled her eyes. "Why do I sense a Professor Bobo thing coming up?"

"Shhh," Jessica whispered, "the authors won't like it if you point out the obvious things!"

"But we ARE the authors!"

"Twilight Zone"-like music plays. "No, WE'RE self-insertion characters! We're not writing it. Get it straight!" The music ends.

"Right now, my Persian is sniffing him out." The orange-haired man turned and called through cupped hands, "Have you found him yet, Persian?"

His response was a tormented howl and white fur flying up as various angry Primeape sounds can be heard.

Kasey shrugged. "Perhaps he's looking for the Boggy Creek creature instead." When no one else laughed, and as Jessica fixed "The Look" on her, she laughed lamely and shut her mouth.

"Oh my." Rob wiped his face with a silk scarf. "Poor Persian. Well," he turned back to the Comm Port screen, "while I get Persian to a Pokécenter you will be reading another fanfic. Bwahahahahahaha!" He wiped tears from his eyes and murmured, "God, I kill myself." He pulled forth a laptop and typed a few things. "There you go, Camharpy. Go set it up." The baby monster nodded and flew away to the door leading up to the projection room. "It's the sequel from the first fanfic you ever reviewed."

Vegeta jumped to his feet, crying out in pain, "Noooooo! Not Chibi Team Rocket and her chick 'fics!!!!"

Rob nodded. "Yes, Chibi Team Rocket has just produced 'Rocket Princess II'. And I want YOU, Vegeta, to be one of the reviewers."

The *mighty* Saiyjin fell to his knees. "Please, Mister Tapert! Have mercy on me!"

"Have fun!" he laughed, and kept on laughing until he remembered to turn off the communication line.

Vegeta crawled painfully over to the Captains' Counter, begging, "Please, Jessica. Please don't make me read it."

She shook her head. "Sorry, Vegeta, Rob has spoken."

"Long live Rob!" Kasey cried, saluting.

"That's right, we must keep obeying him until he let's us loose. If we're nice, maybe he'll let us off for good behavior."

"Well," he sniffed, standing to his feet, "you'll come with me, right?"

Angie winked and flashed a "V" sign. "I will, Vegeta!"

He got a crooked smile and stared at the other two girls. "Kasey? Jessica?"

"No way," Jessica wove her hands as if to ward him away. "I've already read it! I've learned my lesson from last time."

"Kasey?"

"Sorry, read it, too."

Desperate, he glanced down at the calico cat that was the third Captain. "Kureo-chan?" The cat thought for a moment. "C'mon, I let you play with my tail!"

Cleo nodded her head and purred.

"Cleo can read?" Angie asked dubiously.

"Space made her smarter," Jessica simply told her.

"We need one more person," Kasey announced, glancing around. "Now, who would be good?" But, for some reason, everyone was gone from Room 7. "What the hell happened?"

"They musta heard us talking," Jessica pointed out.

"No, really?" the redhead retorted sarcastically.

Then a door behind them wooshed open and an awful British accent asked, "Oh, dash it all, did I miss it?"

They all glanced behind Jessica's chair and there stood Austin Powers, (International Man of Mystery!) "Miss what?" they all asked.

"Oh, Bulma said she would strip today, but I suppose I missed it." Dejectedly, he turned away and headed back to his room.

"No, wait!" Kasey stood and grabbed his arm. "We have something better for you to watch!"

His eyes gleamed. "Really, baby?"

"Yeah, yeah, when the blinkers go off, you follow those three, Vegeta, Angie and Cleo, into the theater and you get to read something!"

"Groovy! Is it shagadellic?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever."

"All rightee then, I'll go in."

"Great!" She grabbed her notebook and motioned to Jessica. "C'mon, let's see where everyone ran off to!"

Jessica deposited Cleo into her cousin's arms and grabbed her book. "Okay." She ran off with the redhead. "Have fun you guys! And I don't think you and Angie have met, Austin!" With that, a door closed behind her as she exited.

The older man turned to Angie and smiled, and she was, as everyone else was, repulsed by his teeth. He held out his hand and said, "Hello-h! I'm Austin Powers. And you are?"

"Angie, Jessica's cousin." She took his hand hesitantly, shifting Cleo to her other arm.

"Ooo, cousin with the Captain! That must be groovy, baby. Special privileges and all!"

"So far, I've been kidnaped while in Captain Comics, I've had to read Rocket Princess I and I've been lost for a week on Curve C, and now I have to read Rocket Princess II." She paused. "Uh, could you please release my hand . . ."

He did not let go and continued to shake it. "Rocket Princess? That sounds perfectly shaggy, don't you think."

Vegeta grimaced. "It's not what you think."

"Let's pretend it is, shall we?" he laughed goofily.

Vegeta shrugged. "Hey, it's your sanity you're questioning, not mine."

As Angie tried to remove her hand from Austin's, who just kept shaking it, the three lights above the theater door went off and the ship rocked as buzzers went off. Cleo jumped down and ran in, Vegeta at her tail, and Angie was at his heels, but Austin was still hanging to her. Groaning, she entered the theater, realizing this was going to be *fun*.



~*~*~*~*~*~



(all enter the theater, the screen is momentarily blank. Vegeta sits in the very last seat, like he had last episode, Cleo takes the second one in, Angie takes the first one, and Austin is forced to let go of Angie's hand to sit in the chair between Vegeta and Cleo. Screen clicks on and the title appears.)



Rocket Princess II



AUSTIN: Ooo, this is going to be so groovy, isn't it, baby?

ANGIE: Are you talking to me or the cat?



- The Rocketeer's Battle



VEGETA: Rocketeer? Rocketeer? Why does that sound so familiar.

ANGIE: A movie perhaps?

AUSTIN: Is this a porno name?

CLEO: <pissy> Meow!

AUSTIN: It's not, you say?

CLEO: Mreow mew!

AUSTIN: Darn, it's not hentai or a lemon either? Kasey lied to me? How could such a shagadellic cat such as her lie to me?

OTHERS: <groan>



~By Chibi Team Rocket~



VEGETA: Why is she still calling herself Squiggly Line Little Team Rocket Squiggly Line?

ANGIE: I wonder, did she get the recipe for the cure for the no-paragraph break disease that we discovered last fanfic?

VEGETA: I don't think we've gotten word yet.



[ Illustration header for RP II here]

(Author's Note: for technical reasons it cannot be posted, go look at it

either on CTR's page or TR Palace)



AUSTIN: Is that a girl on another girl's lap? Are you sure this isn't a lemon?

ANGIE: Quite sure! That's James and that's Jisushika-hime. Or Jessie.

CLEO: Mew!

VEGETA: Cleo pointed out that Meowth to the left.

AUSTIN: Dear God in Heaven, that isn't natural, is it?

ANGIE: Bows on the whiskers?

CLEO: Meow meow mrr?

VEGETA: A heart shaped pendant?

AUSTIN: Maybe it's a deformity. Poor groovy Meowth.

ANGIE: Hehe, look at James' ARM.

VEGETA: Aww, geez, Jessie's got it all twisted around. That's GOTTA hurt!

AUSTIN: Who are the other two delicious babes?

ANGIE: Well, the blonde is Serenity-hime or Serena, and I think she's crying windshield wiper fluid or something, and the other is . . . I do not know.

AUSTIN: Hey! Babe who we don't know! Would you fancy a shag?

CLEO: MEOW!

AUSTIN: What'd I do now?



[Chapter index, going 1, 2, 3 and so on]



VEGETA: Oh, great, are we gonna have those signs forcing us to go back to the top?

ANGIE: They never FORCED us.

VEGETA: But why were they there? Why read chapter one then go up to the index? Read 1 then 4, then back to 2? What?



Prologue



ANGIE: In a galaxy far, far away . . .

CLEO: Rowr!

VEGETA: She's right, Kasey already tried that last episode.

ANGIE: Oh yeah.



Midnight. On a hill rests an old tavern.



AUSTIN: Hey-ey, an episode of Xena, is it?

ANGIE: You watch that show?

AUSTIN: Of course! Such shagadellic babes in leather! <growl-purr>



It is almost in shambles, and the paint chips away bit by bit. But some people don't care where they are as long as they can have a good



AUSTIN: Sss--- <the rest is muffled>

CLEO: Neow! <shakes head, and her tail is in his mouth to quiet him>



beer. The bartender silently washes empty mugs,



VEGETA: <bartender> Ptooey! Yeah, a little spit shine ne'er hurt anyone.



while loud chatter and swearing fills the room. Piano music softly plays,



ANGIE: You know the tune, Sam. Ta-dah-dahdah-dah . . .



and a poker game draws people to watch. Smoke from cigarettes wafts in the air



AUSTIN: And people are dropping dead from second-hand smoke.

CLEO: <satisfied> Meow!

AUSTIN: I'll try to make clean jokes, you groovy cat, but I can't make any promises.



and floats out the door. The light in the room is not that bright, since there is only one bulb hanging from the ceiling.

This is where the lowest life-forms on earth gather.



VEGETA: Ah, it's a breeding place for amebas.



This is where bums,



AUSTIN: <Simon> Were you looking at me bum? Were ya? . . . Whoah, sorry, other character flashback there.



sleazes, and villains come to drown way their troubles and compete with each other in a good arm-wrestling match.



ANGIE: Yes, because NOTHING beats a durn good arm rassling match.



One man's junk is another man's treasures, so it seems.



CLEO: <confused> Mreow?

VEGETA: Yeah, why DOES that have anything to do with this?

ANGIE: Maybe it's a bar/garage sale.

AUSTIN: They could be talkin' about "women of the night", baby.

CLEO: <warning> Mew!



This is a shaky pub to most men,



AUSTIN: Ooo, a pub, baby, let's go to the pub!

VEGETA: Is Chibi Team Rocket all of a sudden British now?

ANGIE: That would explain a few things, I guess.



while it is a palace for the rest.

On this night, a hooded figure enters the room.



AUSTIN: Okay, this HASTA be an episode of Xena.



The face nor the costume of this person can be seen,



CLEO: Meow meow.

OTHERS: Hah, good one, Cleo!

(READERS: ??? <^_^>)



but the tenseness in its body tells the rest that they arenot happy. The figure walks up to the bartender.



VEGETA: <person> I am not happy, give me a shot of milk. No, I'm feeling dangerous, CHOCOLATE milk.



"Gimme something...Sour. I've had a rough night!"



<Cleo once again muffles a comment about to be made by Austin>



"Yes, sir...At once!" The bartender reaches for a glass, but the person bangs their fist on the table.

"Sir? I'm no 'sir'..." The hood is thrown off and there stands



ANGIE: Boy George-- No no, I'm gonna be killed for that lame one, ain't I.

VEGETA: Yup, once we leave the theater.

CLEO: Fft . . .



"Do I look like a man to you?" She grabs the bartender by the collar and lifts him at least two inches off the ground. Her teeth gleam, and her dark, purple eyes harden.



AUSTIN: Harden? Oh, jeez, ouch.

"N-No, ma'am!"



ANGIE: <bartender> Sorry, Ranma, I just didn't recognize you!

VEGETA: It IS kinda hard to tell whether someone is male or female when they are wearing a hood over their face . . . Also when they're aliens.



the bartender replies, his voice shaking with fear the entire time. "Please...P-Put me down." He is thrown out the door.



CLEO: <flinging arms> Mrow!

AUSTIN: I didn't know Hino Rei could be so violent!

"Where the hell are my brothers?" the woman asks herself, as she tosses her bushy brown hair out of her face.



VEGETA: It's the other gal from the picture!

AUSTIN: She still hasn't answered my question! Would you fancy a shag, miss?



"They promised they would be here..."



ANGIE: They were coming in through the door, but she accidentally killed them when she tossed the bartender out.

VEGETA: Maybe this is Akagiyama B-ko and she's wearing her Akagiyama 23.

AUSTIN: Nah, I've met Baby-ko and she doesn't have purple eyes or brown hair, but that sexy suit hurts!



A man approaches the woman. "Hey, baby! What might a pretty thing like you be doing in a place like this?"



ANGIE: <lady> Breaking NUTS, wanna watch?



Her eyebrows twitch.



CLEO: Meow meow mew.

VEGETA: Yes, I must say the way CTR writes in the present tense is quite nice as well.



She socks the very forward man square in the jaw.



AUSTIN: She throws socks on the man who was facing forward and who's jaw was a square? Pardon me!



Then she kicks him in the place where it hurts most.



ANGIE: Hey! I was right! She was breaking nuts.

AUSTIN: <visibly flinches>



"Don't try hitting on Bloody Mary ever!"



VEGETA: <man> I wasn't trying to hit on a drink! I was trying to hit on YOU!



Many of the tavern's inhabitants slowly move to the back of the room. The woman brushes her hands and throws off her hood and cape. Underneath is a big, red 'R'.

Someone gasps.



ANGIE: A shot rang out, lightning flashed in the sky, a woman screamed, and a pirate ship appeared on the horizon.



"She's part of Team Rocket!"



AUSTIN: Since when did the bride of Satan become part of Team Rocket?



"We gotta get outta here!" another screams.



ANGIE: <skeleton from "Army of Darkness"> Retreat! Retreat!

VEGETA: <as other skeleton> Let's get the hell outta here!

CLEO: <as last undead, whining like a little girl> Rwahhhhhh!



"I've heard their Boss is no picnic," the first person says.



AUSTIN: Tell us about it . . . Rob is such a blimy rotter!



"We'll lose all our Pokémon!" There is a scramble of feet and soon the woman is left alone in the room.

"I may have a good reputation," she says to herself. "But not everyone from Team Rocket is as intimidating as I."



VEGETA: I'm lost, is she reading a play now?



She walks around the bar table, grabs amug, and pours herself a glass of beer.



ANGIE: Phew, for a second there I thought she wasn't gonna get her sour drink. I was worried.

AUSTIN: Hmm, maybe her reputation is for shagging. <laughs> Drink up, baby, drink up!

CLEO: Grrrrr . . .



She would have to wait until her brothers came to give them the bad news.



VEGETA: One of them WAS the father of her child.

ANGIE: Aww, geez, Vegeta!

VEGETA: Gomen.

ANGIE: Oh-h-h-h-h-h.

______________________________________________________________________________



(all wait patiently for Chapter 1 to come, but the silence is broken as . . .)

VEGETA: <jumps and grabs rear> HEY!!! <turns head to glare at Austin> Excuse me!!

AUSTIN: Oh, sorry, I thought you were Angie.

ANGIE: Excuse ME!!!

CLEO: Sigh~



Chapter 1 -"Traitor in the Midst"



(again silence, but then . . .)

ANGIE: <jumps and grabs rear> Eeeek!!! AUSTIN!

AUSTIN: hehe

ANGIE: <mutters> Geez, how did he pinch me? There's a chair between us . . .



"Jack, I'll never let go! Never!"



AUSTIN: Aw, me nickers, is this what I think it is?

VEGETA: Dear Lord, it's "Titanic". Stupid stupid movie!

ANGIE: <laughing> <imitates the sound Jack's arms make when he cracks off the raft and sinks into the ocean> <laughs some more>



Jessie sat in her room watching 'Titanic'. She was clutching a Pokeball-fabricated pillow bawling her brains out.



CLEO: Rowr?

ANGIE: So the pillow was made from recycled Pokéballs, or the Pokéballs lied and said she was holding a pillow when she really wasn't.

VEGETA: I figured Jessie wouldn't go for this type of movie. When "Old Yeller" was on that one night, she was cheering the boy on at the end.

AUSTIN: What this Jessie needs is a good pashing, what?

ANGIE: Oh, yuck, Austin.



"Gosh, this is so sad!"



VEGETA: Sad, yes, that this movie was even popular enough to even get one million dollars.



she cried as a tear fell on to the pillow. "Jack deserves to live! Why can't that awful sleaze Cal die?"



ALL BUT CLEO: Shut up!!!!

CLEO: MEOW!



Then, she thought for a moment.



AUSTIN: <Jessie> Why watch this crap when I could watch "Austin Powers" with the most gorgeous, sexy man in the whole universe as the title character!

CLEO: Ffft . . .



She was a villain rooting for the good-guys. That wasn't right.



VEGETA: Yeah, Jessie, what the hell is your problem?



She wiped her eyes, jumped up on her bed, and waved around a few fans with 'R's on them. "Go Cal! Make Rose love you!"

There was a knock on the door.



ANGIE: It was Leonardo's connection, coming to break her knee caps.



"Hey you...Meowth!"

Jessie groaned as she opened the door. "What do you want, Meowth?"



AUSTIN: <Meowth> What do you think I want, baby? Meowth!

CLEO: <chews Austin out in cat>

AUSTIN: I'm sorry, kitty! Calm down!



Meowth growled at her. "What are you doing here? We've got work to do. Ever hear of a Pokémon called 'Missingno?'"



VEGETA: <whips out a notebook> It's an unfinished template in the Pokémon Game that you should not catch or risk screwing up your Hall of Fame or even worse. It could be at level 0 or level one hundred forty something or other.

ANGIE: Wow, Vegeta, you hardly knew anything a week ago, when did you learn this?

VEGETA: <shows notebook> To prepare me, Jessica wrote me some notes.

AUSTIN: Lemme see that, all I know about Pokémon is to never insult them. Ever been burnt by a Charizard? Ooo, that hurts like the dickens.



Jessie wasn't listening. Her eyes turned back to the movie. "Oh...But I hate Cal. Jack is so much more suave and daring..."



ANGIE: Oh, god, here comes my lunch . . . urp.

VEGETA: I think Cleo beat ya to it.

AUSTIN: Oh! All over my designer suede shoes!

CLEO: Hork!!



James burst in. "WHO'S suave and daring?"



AUSTIN: Why, me, of course! As if there was any other doubt.



Meowth and Jessie both got sweatdrops while James grew little veins on his forehead.



VEGETA: It's hard to grow those veins. They require water and sun, and a lotta lovin'.



"A person in da movie," Meowth sighed. "She's not even listening to Meowth..."



ALL: Ohhhh.



James walked over to the TV. "Huh?" He saw a man float to the bottom of the ocean.



ANGIE: Oh, if only that had TRULY happened to DiCRAPio!



"GACK!



AUSTIN: Was a toy designed by Nickelodeon productions . . .



That's the man who you compared with me?!?"

Jessie's eyes sparkled. "Yes..."

Meowth and James fell over Anime-style.



ANGIE: Aw, crap, not that "Anime" BS again! Last time it was "funny Anime tears", now "fell over Anime-style"?

VEGETA: Just as long as there's none of that "evil" stuff again.

AUSTIN: <looks at wrist then stands up> Well, this was fun, but I gotta get bookin', hafta make a music video with Madonna and all. <Cleo tackles him back into his seat and he lowers his head> But this is so boring!

VEGETA: Be a man, for God's sake.

AUSTIN: Are you sayin' I'm not a man, monkey boy?

ANGIE: Stop this right now, you two.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: Hey! We finally have a scene change marker!

ANGIE: Yay! And so far there have been no no-paragraph break mistakes. Maybe Dr. Evil's vaccination worked!

AUSTIN: <suspicious> Dr. Evil? What's that cad up to now?

ANGIE: Nothing except for saving a fanfic author's life!

AUSTIN: Why did you let him do THAT? If CTR had lost her ability to write, maybe she would have given up on writing fanfic and we wouldn't hafta read this!

OTHERS: . . .

VEGETA: <ashamed> Let's just move on.



Down the hall from Jessie's room was James' room. Even farther down the hall was a group of other Team Rocket members. Farther still



ANGIE: All the way back in Idaho, my folks are wondering where the heck I am.



was a little group of five doors, all very close together.



VEGETA: These doors loved each other, they all had a strong sense of friendship.



Each door had a little '5' inscribed on it, as if it were carved with a pocket-knife. Inside one of the rooms, through the middle door,



AUSTIN: Which door would be the middle door in a group of five?



shouting could be heard.



ANGIE: Chewing out is in progress.



"You incompetent fools!



CLEO: Mwow!

ANGIE: Can I call 'em or can I call 'em?



I waited for you for three hours last night. Where in the Pokéball were you?"



ALL: <snicker>



Standing in front of four young men was a beautiful woman. She had dark, purple eyes



ALL BUT AUSTIN: Established!



and wavy brown hair.



AUSTIN: Ah! It's my dear Mary! She still hasn't answered my question!

VEGETA: <lowering head to hand> Here it comes.

AUSTIN: C'mon, Mary, would you fancy a shag?

ANGIE: Aww, jeez.

AUSTIN: <jumps to feet> Do I make you horny, baby?! Yeah, do I!

VEGETA: Okay, that's it! Cleo, attack!

(Cleo gladly does so and attacks Austin. He screams in pain as Cleo shreds his velvet and ruffle, and not to mention his face. Sighing, Angie picks up a phone and dials a number.)

ANGIE: Yeah, hi, Jessica? . . . Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were getting your hair cut! Oh, you just finished? Is it cute? You cut it SHORT? How short? It looks like Mamoru's haircut? I hope it looks cuter on you! It does? Great. Uh, the reason I called is that Austin Powers got a little too perverted and Vegeta ordered Cleo to attack him. Yeah, Austin looks pretty beat up and bloody from cat scratches. Uh-huh. Okay. See you in a bit. <hangs up phone and turns to Vegeta> Jessica's coming to get them out of the theater.

VEGETA: She got a new haircut?

ANGIE: Yeah, she says it's cute.

(they wait for a bit, amid sounds of hissing and struggling until a shadow of Jessica with short hair enters)

JESSICA: C'mon, you guys.

(grabs Austin by the ruffled collar and grabs Cleo by the nape of her neck and leaves)

ANGIE: Cute hair!!!! We're missing two people now.

(Jessica enters dragging two new people behind her.)

JESSICA: Here, they were the closest. (dumps them in Austin and Cleo's former chairs)

ANGIE: Who are you?

MAN#1: I'm Dr. Evil.

MAN#2: Hey, I'm Scott.

ANGIE: Aww, the father and son of evil. You're cool.

EVIL: Yes, thank you.

VEGETA: I hope you last longer than Cleo and Austin Powers. This lengthened the fanfic a lot.

SCOTT: Then let's read. I kind of got the hang of what to do from watching you guys thus far.

EVIL: <aside to Angie> Scott has no life, you know.

ANGIE: Jessica says that's better than HAVING a life!



All five of them wore similar Team Rocket attire. The men in black pants, black shirts, white gloves and white boots. The woman wore a black shirt, a white skirt, long white gloves, and boots, and round black earrings. All the shirts had red 'R's on them. You could say their outfits were exactly like Jessie's and James', only inverted.



SCOTT: Team Rocket's fashion sense is pretty drab, don't you think.

EVIL: I only wear gray, that's drabber than their suits.

VEGETA: Maybe James should wear purple. <snicker>

ANGIE: I got the hidden meaning in that and I shall take the offense for Jessica since she's not here to defend her guy. Dr. Evil, if you would please backhand Vegeta for me.

EVIL: My pleasure. <backhands Vegeta>



"We're sorry, Mary," one man said.



SCOTT: <man> You had said meet at the dirty tavern by the wharves and do you KNOW how many dirty taverns there are?



He had pointy purple hair and black eyes. He was the only member of the group that wore a barret-like black hat with an 'R' on it.



EVIL: "R" for what? "Rooster"? "Repulsive"? "Reprehensible"? What?

ANGIE: Ahem, it stands for "Rocket", sir.

EVIL: Throw me a bone, I've never seen this fricken show!

VEGETA: But you lived with Team Rocket members for a year, though.

EVIL: I have?

SCOTT: Dad doesn't have a good memory, not ever since he challenged Ryoko to a fight.



"We kinda got held up."



VEGETA: <man> We were holding up a couple of old ladies, then they held US up! It was crazy!



"Held up?" the woman asked. "Jack, do you know what I went through last night? I was 'held up'!" She pulled out a long stick. On one of the ends of it was a chain. The chain contained a scary looking spiked ball. This also had an 'R' on it.



EVIL: I like Chibi Team Rocket's choice of vocabulary.

ANGIE: I know! Mary pulled out a heavy-duty louffa!

SCOTT: Their obsession over the letter R isn't healthy.



"Mary!" another man with black hair tied in a short ponytail cringed. "Put that thing away!"



VEGETA: Since when did Woodchuck join Team Rocket?



Another man with blonde hair and brown eyes blocked his face. "Siblings shouldn't hurt each other!"



ALL: <snicker>

ANGIE: They're SIBLINGS? But they look so different!

EVIL: If they are, then they were either adopted, or the mother had a little too much fun. <laughs in that silent way of his>



Mary laughed, pleased that she frightened the men "Siblings ALSO shouldn't keep each other waiting..." She put her weapon down.



ANGIE: And instantly I know she's insane.



"Listen, brothers, I've got weird, yet terrible news."



VEGETA: <Mary> We are actually all made from cabbage, not carbon. Weird, yet terrible, ain't it?



The four brothers watched their sister and sighed with relief after she put the ball-and-chain down.



SCOTT: Does CTR know that that is also called a mace.

ANGIE: Nah, she probably thinks that mace is only the pepper spray.

"What is it?" asked Jack, the first brother.

Mary's face hardened. "You know that idiot Jessie?



EVIL: Is that Mary talking about that sweetheart Captain Jessica?

VEGETA: Sweetheart?

EVIL: She's nice to me. <pouts> No one usually is. <Scott sighs>



The one who gets all the good jobs and always messes them up?"



ANGIE: Trying to steal a Pikachu from a ten year-old boy is a good job? Whatever floats her boat.



The final man, although more like a young boy nodded. His green hair bounced and his green eyes twinkled.



SCOTT: Sailor Moon used her Crystal to turn Kermit the frog into a human.



"Oh, yeah! Isn't she the one going out with James?



SCOTT: She is? When did this happen?

VEGETA: Nono, this is in the fanfic's universe, in the real world they're not.

ANGIE: They'd make an adorable couple though.

SCOTT: Yeah, if Jessie could get past Jessica and her Cleo.

EVIL: That Cleo is evil . . . I like her.



And isn't James the guy you like?"



ANGIE: Important plot point! Important plot point!



"TACK!" Mary exclaimed angrily, swinging at the boy with a clenched fist. She hit him in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him.



EVIL: Mary's evil, I like her.

SCOTT: Dad, why do you always hafta say that.

EVIL: I only like people who are evil.

VEGETA: Jessica's not evil, yet you like her.

EVIL: . . .



"You are the youngest and least strongest of us, brother-dear.



ANGIE: <Mary as General Mandible> Therefore we must kill you for the best of the colony.



How would you like to have your heart shown to you?"



ALL: Ewww . . .



The young boy gulped. "N-N-No, Mary-san.



VEGETA: Huh, Jessica's not here to freak out over the use of Japanese suffixes on American names. Do you think I should substitute for her?

ANGIE: Nah, you just freak out whenever they call Jessie and James evil.



I was just trying to see if I got the right person. Team Rocket is so big, you know..."



SCOTT: <Tack> It has at least ten people, it's so BIG.



"We know, Tack. We know..."



EVIL: <Mary> About your PROBLEM. You don't hafta mention it every chance you get.



Tack got a sweatdrop. "Would it have been better if I had said, 'Oh, yeah! Isn't Jessie the one with the only talking Pokémon?'?"



VEGETA: Arbok can talk?

ANGIE: No, MEOWTH can talk.

VEGETA: I thought Meowth belonged to Giovanni/Rob.

ANGIE: Details details . . .



Mary smiled. "That's much better, Tack..."

"Tell us what happened," the black-haired man said eagerly.

"Don't be so excited, Mack," Jack said. "This isn't GOOD news..."



SCOTT: Ah, I see the connection with the names. Jack, Tack, Mack . . .



"No, it isn't," Mary groaned. "Anyway, I overheard Jessie talking to James a couple nights ago..."

"She was just going to get a good look of James that evening," Tack whispered to the blonde-haired man. He laughed.



EVIL: <blond> Our sister's insane, it's fun!



"What's so funny, Zack?" Mary questioned.

Mack and Jack laughed as Zack and Tack got huge sweatdrops. "Nothing," Zack replied.



VEGETA: <Zack> I'm not gonna tell you that your shirt is tucked into your bra, your skirt is stuck in your panties, and that you have toilet paper stuck on the bottom of your boot . . .



"Zack, you're the third oldest!" Mack laughed. "You're twenty years old and you act Tack's age."



ANGIE: Why is this relevant?

SCOTT: Maybe if we knew TACK'S age . . .



Zack growled at Mack. "Tack is sixteen!



SCOTT: Ah, thanks.



I'm not stooping to his low. Besides, you're only eighteen.



EVIL: This conversation is only happening so we learn their ages.

VEGETA: How sad!



What makes you think you can boss me around?" The two glared at each other.

Jack looked at Mary and she looked back.



ANGIE: Intense looking action!!!



"As the two eldest, we're the most mature."

Mary sighed and a little mushroom cloud popped out of her mouth.



ANGIE: <sob> She ate Toadstool!! Oh the humanity!



"Being twenty-four ain't easy."

"Twenty-one's no picnic either when you're first considered an adult and you have brothers who act like children."

Zack, Mack, and Tack glared at Jack. "Hey..."



SCOTT: O_o Too many rhyming names, I don't remember who is who!

EVIL: Does it really matter?

SCOTT: I suppose not. Gee, Dad, you actually made some sense.



"CAN I FINISH WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY?!?" Mary yelled at the top of her lungs.



ALL: Aaaaaaaah!!! My ears!!! Oh!!!!!



A very meek "Ok..." was heard.



ANGIE: A "WHAT" WAS HEARD?!

VEGETA: "Okay".

ANGIE: WHAT?

VEGETA: "OKAY"!!

ANGIE: PARFAIT? MAYBE LATER!



"Ok...I heard those two talking.



SCOTT: <Mary> And apparently fellow member Terry is having a baby shower this Saturday and it occurred to me that we don't have a gift for her. So I figured that, if we work together, we could crochet a blanket by that day . . .



It seems Jessie is part of some royalty called the Moon Kingdom. She's not a villain at heart!"

"WOT?" the brothers gasped.



EVIL: <Jack> Sis has flipped her lid.

ANGIE: <Tack> I say we kill her.

VEGETA: So they IMMEDIATELY believe Mary. And for the most part, Mary believed Jessie and James?

ANGIE: Remember my advise from "Rocket Princess I", "Don't think about it".



"I don't know the whole story, but it looks as if Jessie is a real Princess. Her...That ugly #####, of all people!



ALL: Whoah!

SCOTT: Huh, cool.



Something must be done about her..." The brothers all nodded in agreement. "If she really is good, then she could give away many of Team Rocket's secrets. We've got to get rid of her." The brothers nodded again. Team Rocket didn't tolerate traitors.



EVIL: <snicker> This is so ridiculous. It's not an evil fanfic like I had hoped.

ANGIE: Jessica could more than likely pull some up for you, however, like the Ash and Brock gay one. <shudder>

VEGETA: There has really been no mention of them being "evil", although Mary comes close. Maybe the vaccine you sent her, Dr. Evil, has cured her of that as well.

EVIL: Ah, yes, my "vaccine" <makes air quotations as he says "vaccine">

SCOTT: Sighghgh~



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: Now we just hafta get rid of that.



______________________________________________________________________________



VEGETA: <Dr. Z> Ah, my friend, the line. I love you.



Chapter 2 -"Of Pokémon and Men"



ANGIE: Hey, CTR started using that accent "egg-you". Jessica should be happy.



The fresh summer breeze surrounded a beautiful park.



EVIL: But then the beauty was shattered as the breeze attacked full force.



The park was a lush green place,



SCOTT: As most parks are.



with flowers and birds enveloping the area. Two young people walked in the park. They were a sweet couple, and everyone passing by could tell these two were happy together.

"Darien! Look at that beautiful, red flower!"

"It is beautiful, Serena. However, its beauty cannot compare with my Queen's"



VEGETA: Oh, my stomach's acting up.

ANGIE: I'm guessing that this is a fanfic that will make your stomach act up A LOT.



"Oh, Darien...You're making me blush."



SCOTT: <Usagi/Serena> So would you please stop touching there.

ANGIE & EVIL: <blush> Scott!

VEGETA: Careful, that was why Austin had to be dragged out.



Darien and Serena laughed. They were so happy together, just as they were on the Moon Kingdom in the Silver Millennium and just as they would be in the Future of Crystal Tokyo.



ANGIE: Actually, their lives were tainted by living in the 20th century and when they got married they divorced nine hundred years later, a custody battle ensuing over Chibi-Usa.



They walked



EVIL: . . . into a pool of molten "magma". <quotations ^_^ >

VEGETA: No such luck.

EVIL: C'mon! Become an evil fanfic for me! Pleeeeeeze!



arm-in-arm through the park down little passages and paths. They stopped to feed some ducks at a nearby pond with the leftovers of some bread Lita had made.



SCOTT: I could sure go for some of Mako's cookin' right about now.

ANGIE: ANYTHING to get away from this fanfic. <points angrily at Vegeta> Why did you convince me to come in with you!

VEGETA: ???



Lita had assured them they were everything a couple should be. They loved each other and were willing to sacrifice anything, even themselves, if it would benefit their partner.

Darien smiled. "I haven't felt so much love since our last visit to the Moon Kingdom."



ANGIE: Which is a club based on the '60's free love movement, so Mamoru felt MUCH love.



Serena felt a little hurt. "Darien, that was over two years ago! I thought I had been giving you all my love..."



VEGETA: <Mamoru/Darien> Which isn't very much, Usagi-chan. I was actually talking about Ami-chan.



Darien cut her off by kissing her. When they stopped, he replied with,



EVIL: <Mamoru/Darien> Here's two bucks, baby, 'coz that's all you're worth.



"I meant that we've been really busy and haven't had much time to be alone together."



ANGIE: Insert what knowledge CTR has about Sailor Moon here.



He was right, Serena thought. Much had happened in those years since she had first met Jessie and they had seen their full past. Reenie had gone home after an incident with a Pegasus named Helios.



ANGIE: Right.



Luna and Artemis had discovered they were meant to be.



ANGIE: <lewd giggle>

OTHERS: What?

ANGIE: Oh, just remembering that "Artemis" fanfic . . .



Many new friends and foes had arrived. There were the Outer Senshi.



VEGETA: Hold it, hold it. CTR uses American names, uses Sailor Scouts, yet she calls the others Outer SENSHI?



They were new Sailor Scouts from the Outer planets of the solar system. There was Alex and her sister Michelle.



EVIL: I don't remember any of the Senshi called that. Are those evil Senshi?

ANGIE: No, the author means Haruka and Michiru-- Hey! They aren't SISTERS!



Both of them were Sailor Scouts.



SCOTT: Even though they are Outer SENSHI.



Alex was Sailor Uranus,



ALL: <snicker>

VEGETA: If anyone makes any Uranus jokes shall die painfully and slowly.



and Michelle was Sailor Neptune . There was Susan who was the Mysterious Scout, Sailor Pluto.



ANGIE: Setsuna, or otherwise known as "Pu".



Last, there was little Holly



ANGIE: Hotaru



who was evil.



VEGETA: I'll let that pass . . . since she was.



Still, she had been turned good. Now, she was Sailor Saturn, the youngest Scout since Reenie had left.



SCOTT: I'm guessing Chibichibi hasn't shown up yet.

EVIL: I also like Chibichibi. She's cute.



Of course, Serena's same friends Amy, Lita, Raye, and Mina were still great friends and Scouts.



ANGIE: And poor Naru-chan and Umino are left in the dust.



They were always around in a tight spot. Yes...A lot had happened. Now, she was finally alone with Darien. Suddenly, she stopped dead in her tracks.



VEGETA: Hello! Kagome got her with an arrow to the neck! Way to go, Kagome!



"This...Park..."

"What is it?" Darien asked.

"Can't you see? This was the same park where we first met Jessie, James, and Meowth..." Serena's eyes wobbled.



VEGETA & ANGIE: GREAT TREE!!!



"Oh.." Darien said. "You're right."

"I wonder what has become of them," Serena thought aloud. She hadn't seen her good friend for two years.



ALL: <snicker>

SCOTT: If I hadn't spoken to my "good" friend for two years, then I wouldn't consider them my good friend any longer.

EVIL: <suspicious> DO you have any good friends here?

SCOTT: On the SoD? Of course I do! I've been stuck here for a year.

EVIL: Are they EVIL?

SCOTT: Sigh~ Yes, Dad. I went out with Sailor Phi and Chi for a bit, and then I'm friends with Nephrite and Freeza, and Mejin Boo and Rezo, went out with Hibiki for a bit, friends with a lot of the bad guys from SM and DBZ . . . Ryoga's cool.

EVIL: Could he be considered "evil"?

SCOTT: Why not? He's trying to steal Akane from Ranma.

EVIL: Okay, that's cool, I dig it.

SCOTT: Right, Dad.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of Jessie, James, and Meowth, Team Rocket was making their way to visit their Boss.



ALL: Boo, hiss.

VEGETA: Wait, CTR thinks the Boss is still Giovanni, not Rob.

SCOTT: Well, okay then. Giovanni's another pal.

ANGIE: I thought he was dead.

VEGETA: Take your own advise, Angie, don't think about it.



"What does that old bag want now?" James groaned.

"Jessie quickly covered his mouth and looked around frantically. "Shhh! He has cameras around everywhere," she whispered. "He could have heard you!"



EVIL: Oh my, my "vaccination" <quotation> seemed to have cured her paragraph break problem, but she has more typos than before!



Meowth got a big sweatdrop.



VEGETA: That weighed him down and made him fall back.



"Well, it won't be Meowth's fault!"

When they entered Giovanni's lair, the door slammed behind them. The room was pitch black, like it usually was when he was around.



SCOTT: Giovanni musta had powerful funk to have made everything black.



His chair had its back faced to them.

"You called, sir?" Meowth asked.

"It's about time you three showed up. I've been waiting five minutes!"



EVIL: <Giovanni> And I heard what you said James, and you have made me angry. And when I get angry, Persian becomes upset, and when Persian becomes upset-- PEOPLE DIE!



"Yes, sir..." Team Rocket murmured. Did he expect them to be there in less than a minute?

"I expected you to be here four minutes ago!"

Guess so.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?" Jessie asked.



SCOTT: Are you sure this isn't Rob? It sounds like Jessica and Kasey talkin' to him.

ANGIE: Quite sure.



The chair swiveled around and Giovanni faced them. He had a huge cigar in his mouth.



ALL: <lol>

VEGETA: No Bill Clinton or cigar jokes either.



It was the first time Team Rocket had EVER seen him smoke. "Well, I'm glad you brought it up, Jessie," he sneered. "It actually has to do with you..."



ANGIE: <Giovanni> I have a *proposition* for you . . .



Jessie gulped. James and Meowth looked to Giovanni, to Jessie, and back to Giovanni again. "But why did you need James and Meowth, sir?" Meowth questioned.



SCOTT: <Giovanni> To make it more, what's that word you youngsters use, ah, yes, kinky!

EVIL: I think we have just single-handedly managed to turn this fanfic into a lemon.



Giovanni sucked in on his cigar.



(all try to suppress laughter)

VEGETA: Nonononono . . .

ANGIE: This isn't a good sign for Jessie!

VEGETA: Cut it out!



Then he blew it out in James' face.



SCOTT: Not a good sign for JAMES now.

VEGETA: Bad thoughts!



James coughed. "You two? I just wanted your partner to be humiliated..."

Jessie got little veins on her forehead ad Meowth and James snickered silently. "Dat's easy...We ALWAYS humiliate her."



EVIL: I don't get it. What was so funny?

SCOTT: You're so clueless, Dad.

VEGETA: Jessie seems to be good at making veins appear, maybe we should have a contest.

ANGIE: Nah, I think you would win.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



ANGIE: Oh, that's where I wish I were at this moment, swimming in the lake . . .



James and Meowth were moved to the very back of the room so Giovanni could speak with Jessie, man to woman. "Jessie, I've been getting complaints."

"Complaints, sir?"



EVIL: <Giovanni> Yes, "complaints" <quotation>

SCOTT: <Jessie> Complaints, sir?



Jessie's hands were at her side, but she couldn't help the fidgeting.

"You know Mary, don't you?"



VEGETA: <Jessie> The Virgin Mary? Yes. Or the Mary from "There's Something About Mary"? Which is it, Boss?

"Bloody Mary?"

"Yes, that's right."

"I believe so. I've never really talked with her that much."



ANGIE: <Giovanni> Bloody Mary's complaint is that not enough children have been standing in front of a mirror in a dark room chanting "Bloody Mary once, Bloody Mary twice" . . .



Giovanni took another puff on his cigar.



(again, suppressed laughter)



"She's told me that she doesn't think that you're doing your job."

Jessie let her eyes wander.



SCOTT: But she made sure that they stayed close by so they wouldn't get lost.



She couldn't dare look Giovanni in the face. With all the Ash goof-ups she had never won, it was a surprise they were only bringing it up now. "But, sir..."



ANGIE: I think that was the only reference to Ash as of now.

VEGETA: No, at the end of RPI they said "Let's go get that Pikachu!"

ANGIE: Oh yeah.



"Mary thinks you're not pulling your weight around here."



EVIL: <Jessie> You want me to pull three pounds then? Hmm?



He leaned forward abit. "Just how many Pokémon have you snatched in the past month."

Jessie counted on her fingers. "Total...James and I got...Three."

"THREE?" Giovanni fumed. "And what were they?"

"...A Level five Pidgey, a Level three Weedle, and a Level ten Butterfree..."



ANGIE: Aww, jeez, that IS sad.



Giovanni fell over Anime-style.



VEGETA: <makes squish sounds> Oh, he crushed me.

ANGIE: Yup, CTR IS out to drive me insane . . .



He was not impressed at all. "JESSIE!" he yelled as fire surrounded him. "Team Rocket is better than that!"

"Yes...I know, sir..."

"Giovanni settled down a bit. "I've always thought of you and James as my best Rocketeers." Funny Anime tears fell down his cheeks.



ANGIE: I'm . . going to . . . ignore that and say . . . Giovanni must be related to . . . Tendo Soun!

EVIL: Good girl, Angie, hold back the anger, it'll make you stronger!

SCOTT: Sighghghghhh.



"Now Mary will be proved right. I don't want that..."

Jessie got a sweatdrop. "Of course not, sir. I don't really want Mary to be right, either."

"Good..." Giovanni grinned. "So try harder. I want my star-pupils to be you two!"

Jessie beamed. "Yessir!"



VEGETA: <Giovanni> So go out there and--

ALL: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



EVIL: Hmm, the gamma rays are strong today.



Outside, Jessie, James, and Meowth were discussing Jessie's little chat with the Boss.

James' eyes wobbled. "We're his stars!"

Jessie got stars in her eyes.



ANGIE: I hate it when that happens.



"I always knew we were great."

"True geniuses are never appreciated!" They both glared at Meowth.



SCOTT: Hah! Hey, Dad! You have hope yet!

EVIL: Why, thank you, Sc-- HEY!



Suddenly,



VEGETA: As if in a flash!



they heard a 'Hello,' come from across the hall. There stood Bloody Mary, weapon and all. She walked straight up to the trio. "So, Jessie,. have anice talk with the Boss?"

Jessie groaned and looked as if she would strangle Mary. "Actually, it was okay..."



ANGIE: <Jessie> He gave us hard candy and beer, it was a blast.



But Mary ignored her and walked right up to James, throwing her arms around him.



SCOTT: <Mary> Got a little big there, didn't ya boy? Lay off the "donuts" for a bit.



"Hey there, James. How are you?"



EVIL: <James> I-I'm feeling a bit TINGLY right now . . .



Jessie got more fumed.



ANGIE: Hey, I need more fume, too! Where'd she get hers?



James innocently replied.



VEGETA: <James> I want sex. <normal> Shimatta! I broke my own rule!

SCOTT: And that rule is?

VEGETA: Don't sink so low that you use sex jokes.



"Uh, well I guess I'm okay. How 'bout you, Bloody Mary?"

"Just call me, Mary," Mary said soothingly.



EVIL: She was telling herself to call herself?

ANGIE: No, the author just put a comma in the wrong place, that's all.



"Well, I'd feel a lot better if you joined me in my room this evening for dinner..."

"Dinner? As in, food? I'm starved!"



VEGETA: If the real James was reading this with us right now, he'd yell and scream that he WAS dumb, just not THAT dumb.



Mary smiled.



ANGIE: Oh-ho, I see this one coming.



"Yeah, me too.



ANGIE: Oh, yuck. Could smell that from a mile away.



We could have a lot of fun together, you and I..."

"Fun? As in a game of Marbles?"



ALL: <lol>

SCOTT: That's actually kinda funny.



Jessie was getting tired of this. She walked up to both of them and grabbed James by the collar. "Games are not what she meant by fun, James!"

"Oh, but there are MANY games that you can play with two people."

"Yeah!" James exclaimed. "I like 'Go Pokémon'!"



ALL: <more lol>

EVIL: Aw, geez, I'm fricken crying here.



"Not today, or any day, Mary," Jessie growled. "Come Meowth. Come James!



VEGETA: Yup, she's a princess all right.

ANGIE: Or a domineering wife, either way . . .



The Boss gave us work to do and we've gotta do it." She marched off, dragging James with her.



SCOTT: If the floors are carpeted, he's gonna be getting SUCH a RASH!



Mary's eyes seemed to flash red. "Some other time, then."

Meowth looked up at her.



VEGETA: <Meowth> I, however, would like to have some fun. <normal> D'oh! I broke my rule again.



"Meowth wouldn't bet on it, sista.



EVIL: <black woman> So talk to the paw, 'coz the face ain't listenin'. Mm-mm.



Dose two are inseparable!" Then he scratched her clear across the face. "And Meowth'd rather James go out with Jessie dan you, go it?" He walked off after Jessie and James.



EVIL: Is Meowth an EVIL Meowth?



Mary rubbed her swollen cheek. "Then, this truly means war..."



ANGIE: James: the face that launched a thousand rockets! Hah!

SCOTT: And all the men that had been watching the ordeal between Mary and James walk away, wiping the blood off their noses.



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 3 -"Filing Fun"



"James,



VEGETA: <Jessie> Filing's fun.



you are such an idiot sometimes!" Jessie yelled. "Bloody Mary was inviting you into her room for...For...For God knows what!"

"What?" James asked.

"Nevermind..."



EVIL: Apparently, the school at Team Rocket HQ doesn't teach sex education.

ANGIE: Apparently neither did Pokémon Tech.

SCOTT: Apparently Jessie hadn't taught James either.



After a couple of seconds, Meowth joined them. "Dat girl has really got a problem," he sighed.



EVIL: Tell me about it. Once I saw Captain Kasey glaring at Mini-Me and--- Oh, he's talkin' about Mary.



Jessie nodded. "And she's got some nerve, too!" Imagine. Some lousy woman trying to steal away HER James. That had to be stopped...



VEGETA: So, James is an object to be fought over and bought?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



ANGIE: Aww, look, a little Pikachu is surfing on the little waves.

OTHERS: Awww.



"Outta my way you ignorant ox!"



SCOTT: <oxe> Moo. <makes kick sound>



Mary growled as she pushed over a Team Rocket member in her way.



EVIL: Then that member pulled out his personal rocket launcher and blew her away. The end. No? Darn.



She was moving at a very fast pace, heading to a destination.



ANGIE: Well, if you didn't have a destination to walk to, then you wouldn't be walkin'. Duh . . .



Mary pulled out a communicator. "Jack! Jack! Come in."

There was a slight bit of static and then her purple-haired brother appeared on the screen of the pocket-sized communicator. "Yo, sis! What's up?"



SCOTT: <Mary as "gangster"> Well, we were makin' a bust in the trash and the downers came crashin' in and it all got XXXXed up.



"Meet me in the filing room...And step on it!"



VEGETA: Jack must have big feet to be able to step on a filing room.

ANGIE: You know what they say about men with big feet! Hah!

EVIL: No, what. <Scott sighs once again>

ANGIE: Ahem . . . Never mind.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serena leaned against the tree where she had stood atop two years ago and introduced herself to Team Rocket.



VEGETA: And then tried to kill them with her magical girl powers.

ANGIE: It's Great Tree! Kasey's missing the appearances of Great Tree.



A small tear trickled down her cheek.



SCOTT: <Conan O'Brien> A lone tear . . .



"She probably hasn't even thought of me since we said good-bye," she thought. Serena remembered that sad day when she and Jessie sat in her room talking. Serena had begged her friend to join her side. Jessie wanted to remain with Team Rocket.



EVIL: And return to her dimension.



She didn't blame her. After doing one thing all your life, it was hard to change. So much had happened in the course of those two days.



VEGETA: It was only two days? I swear, it felt longer than that.



"Serena!" Darien said as he joined her. "What are you thinking about?"



ANGIE: <Usagi/Serena> I was thinking about how PEACEFUL it was before you came barging up.



Serena smiled and shook her head. "Oh, nothing. Just my life."



SCOTT: <Usagi/Serena> It only took me thirty seconds to think about.



Darien hugged her close. "Don't worry. Everything always turns out right."

Then she buried her head in he shirt and sobbed.



ANGIE: <Usagi/Serena> Oh, God, Mamoru, you smell so BAD! Can't you take a shower ONCE, for me?



"But not for bad-guys, Darien! Nothing good ever happens for them."



EVIL: What does little miss goodie two shoes know, little spaghetti stringed hair Usagi! She's not evil!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bloody Mary pulled open a drawer and started rustling through a few vanilla-colored file folders. "Let's see here...J...J..."



VEGETA: <Mary> "The Truth About UFOs", no. "Close-up Photos of Bigfoot and Nessie and Forensic Evidence", no.



Jack was also looking. It was pitch black in the room and they were using flash-lights. "Hey, B.M.,



EVIL: "Big Mantis"?

SCOTT: "Bright Mouth"?

ANGIE: "Buck Mutton"?

VEGETA: "Berry Massage"?



if you come across my name, tell me!"



SCOTT: <Mary> Here it is! "Jack is a complete and total loser, but we think what makes him like that is his totally idiotic and brain-damaged sister who calls herself by the untrue name of 'Bloody' Mary." Hey!!



"Dolt! We're not looking for you. We're looking for Jessie..." Then she came across one folder and pulled it out.

"Is that it?" Jack asked. He saw Mary get big red hearts in her eyes. "Mary?"



ANGIE: <Jack> Are you aware that your heart has jumped to your eyes? I think that's a terminal illness.



Mary sighed. "It's James'..." She clutched the folder to her breast.



ALL: Tee hee hee.

VEGETA: C'mon people, be mature about the use of the word br-bre- tee hee.



Jack pulled out another folder and whacked Mary over the head.



EVIL: <Jack> I want James folder!



"I thought we were looking for Jessie's!"

Mary quickly shoved James' folder back into the file-cabinet. "Yes...Yes...You're right!" She began to search frantically again.

Suddenly



ANGIE: As if in a flash!



Jack pulled out another folder. "I've got it!" he shouted triumphantly.



SCOTT: Find the contact lens is a fun game.

ANGIE: <Mary> There are MANY fun games that you can play with two people . . .



"Quiet!" Mary whispered as she joined Jack. "The boss might hear us."



VEGETA: The files are actually behind Giovanni's chair, but he's takin' a nap-nap!



She snatched the folder out of Jack's hand.



EVIL: <makes slice sound>

SCOTT: <Jack> Oh, dear Lord, my hand!!! Paper cut! Paper cut!!



"This may have the key to bringing her down..."



ANGIE: <Mary> That stupid Celine Dion, I'll show her! I was to be the one to sing "My Heart Will Go On!"



She opened the folder and read everything inside it.



VEGETA: <folder> "How to keep a Team Rocket member busy, turn to other side . . ." <turn> "How to keep a Team Rocket member busy, turn to other side . . ." <turn>



There were all of Jessie's statistics; Sex,



SCOTT: Yes, please. HAH!

OTHERS: Sigh~



Age, Eye-color, Hair-color...Yet...

"Any info?" Jack asked.



EVIL: <Mary> Yeah, it tells her whole Moon story in here.

ANGIE: <Jack> Then what's the matter?

EVIL: <Mary> Sneaking around has just lost all of it's excitement . . .



Mary threw the folder on the ground. "Nothing! There's zero-information in here about her past-life."



VEGETA: I don't know which is sadder, that Mary and her bros actually believed the Moon story right off the bat, or that they believed they could find it in the FILES.



"I doubted that there would be."

"What?"

"Mary, obviously, do you think Team Rocket knows about Jessie's Past as a Good-guy? Sure...There's you, me, our brothers, Meowth and James. Why would they have that in her file?"



VEGETA: Wow! Jack's smart! Well . . . smarter than Mary at any rate.



"You're right, Jack. For this one, we've gotta go right to the sources."

"But who ARE the 'sources'?"

"For one thing, there's Jessie."

"I'd doubt she would give us anything."



ANGIE: <Jack> Maybe a mallet to the groin, but that's it.



Then Mary grinned mischievously. "But I supposed I could get something outta James..."

Jack groaned.



SCOTT: His jealousy is building.



"Yeah...More than information..."

"SHUT UP!"



ALL: ACK!!! Ears!!



Mary said as she punched him. Jack checked his nose. It was bleeding.



EVIL: <cowering in seat> Mary scares me.

SCOTT: <sarcastically> But she's "evil" dad.

EVIL: No, she's just insane!



"He's not that smart and could easily be persuaded to help us."

"I gotcha," Jack moaned as he held his nose.

"C'mon!" Mary said as she grabbed Jack's arm. "We gotta get outta here before we're caught."



ANGIE: <Mary> The boss is wakin' up.

EVIL: Giovanni, right?

ANGIE: Yeah.

EVIL: Is he evil?

VEGETA: No, just against the rules.

EVIL: I'm so alone.



[ Return to top ]



SCOTT: Do I look THAT dumb?



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 4 -"Source #1 - Finger Foods"



EVIL: Was it an EVIL finger food?

SCOTT: Augh, shut up, Dad! What's your obsession over "evil" things!

EVIL: Okay, Scott, shut it.

SCOTT: But--

EVIL: Shut it!

SCOTT: Not THIS again! I've had enough! Argh!

(Scott leaps onto Dr. Evil, a fight ensues. Vegeta's starting to get edgy)

ANGIE: Don't even THINK about joining the fight, Vegeta!

VEGETA: But . . . it's a FIGHT! And I'm . . . Saiyjin . . .

(Vegeta leaps into the fray and punches whoever gets in his way.)

(Angie picks up the phone.)

ANGIE: Uh, Jessica. We have another fight. Dr. Evil and Scott started it and Vegeta joined in. No, he's not doing any ki attacks. No, your hair looks REALLY cute! Don't say it looks icky! Uh-huh . . . okay.

(Angie hangs up phone. Minute later Jessica appears with a clown mallet. Whaps three heads.)

JESSICA: Vegeta, you stay. <plops groggy Vegeta in his chair> Dr. Evil, Scott, you're going to go see Professor Oak and work out your problems.

(Jessica grabs unconscious Dr. Evil and Scott and drags them out.)

ANGIE: We're missing two people again . . .

(Jessica returns with two more people)

JESSICA: Here, they were the only ones handy. Shampoo and Mousse. Enjoy! <exits>

ALL: . . .

(Vegeta wakes up and shakes head, now aware of the boy next to him)

SHAMPOO: Uh. Me Shampoo.

ANGIE: I'm Angie!

MOUSSE: I'm Mousse, Miss. I don't believe we've met?

ANGIE: Nope, not yet. I got here last week and got lost for about a week, then when I got back I had to come in here and read this fanfic.

VEGETA: I'm Vegeta, you two.

SHAMPOO: We met already. You dump water on me, turn me to cat, and try to eat me.

VEGETA: Oh, yeah. Sorry 'bout that. It was before we got new supplies and I was sick of Ramen noodles.

SHAMPOO: Shampoo understand. Almost ate Pikachu once.

VEGETA: Oh?

ANGIE: Okay, enough stalling. Back to the fanfic!

VEGETA: Shimatta!



In the rocket cafeteria,



ANGIE: People are keeling over from salmonella poisoning.

VEGETA: <dying Rocket> Don't eat the sashimi-- gasp.



a very hungry James was packing away the food.



SHAMPOO: Sorta like one guy from "Animal House".



One would think he were storing it for the winter, or something. Jessie, annoyed, watched him, her shoulder upon the table and her head in her hand.



VEGETA: Aww, geez, ouch. I didn't know Jessie practiced yoga.



"James...Are you done yet?"

James looked at her, a cup of rice and chicken teriyaki in one hand, and chopsticks in the other. "C'mon, Jessie!



ANGIE: <James> I'm getting all this stuff for YOU!



I'm not even halfway done yet."

Jessie's head pounded on the table.



MOUSSE: Jessie's bead hounded on the Bible? What?

SHAMPOO: Put glasses on, baka.

MOUSSE: <blushes and puts his glasses on> Okay, there we go.



"Sometimes..."



ANGIE: <sings> SOMETIMES . . .

VEGETA: That's enough of that, thank you very much.

ANGIE: Whee!



Meowth came up to the table with a tray of fish and catnip.



SHAMPOO: Meowth plan to get bit high this noon, huh?



"Well, Jessie, aren't we da overactive one? A guy's gotta eat, ya know!"

"Yeah!" James said, his mouth full of Ramen Noodles now.



(everyone groans, except for Angie, remembering when all they had left to eat was Ramen noodles)



"Ush



ANGIE: . . . er, is a singer.



men have bigger shtomachs den you women."



MOUSSE: I wouldn't count on that, Usagi ate a lot more than most of the men.

VEGETA: Then Jessica beat her. That contest was fun.

SHAMPOO: We should do it again.



Jessie pulled herself off the table and stood up. "Well, I'm not staying here to watch you two stuff you fat faces! I have a movie to finish."



VEGETA: I'd much rather be watching James eat than watch "Titanic".



She stormed out of the cafeteria.



ALL: <make various storm sounds>



James watched after her, continuing to chow down. "Shuut yourshelf!"



ANGIE: Did James just tell Jessie to *shoot* herself?

MOUSSE: That wasn't very honorable!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: Eek!! That COLD or HOT water?



Mary and Jack cleverly made their way out of the fileroom.



VEGETA: Hold it, I'm lost. Didn't they just do that?



They hid their flashlights in their Pokébelts,



ANGIE: "POKÉbelts"?? CTR's havin' fun with these new words.



and Mary stuffed the files down her shirt.



SHAMPOO: <fellow Rocket> Mary, you know you breasts get squared?



The two of them whistled a happy tune and looked innocent.



VEGETA: Any who sing Lucky Lucky shall die!

(all sigh sadly)

ANGIE: Oh, I know a happy song! <sings in deep voice> Joxer the Mighty! He roams through the countryside! He never needs a place to hide! He's Joxer, Joxer the Mighty!

VEGETA: I forgot about that song . . .



Other Team Rocket members passing by watched them.

"That Mary," one said to his buddy. "She may be cute and mean, but she's got a weird side to her..."



MOUSSE: <fellow Rocket> She collects BUTTONS.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: Waves scare Shampoo.

(Mousse tries to comfort her, but as he puts arms around her, she leans over to grab her pop and get a drink, so he misses and nearly falls out of his seat)



Meowth finished his food ten minutes after Jessie left. "C'mon, you pig! We got work to do." James ignored him, happily chomping down on a few Pocky*



ANGIE: <phrase asterix goes to> Pocky is trademark of Chibi Team Rocket. Any who try to steal it will die a horrible and slow death by being thrown into a pool full of irritable and hungry Magikarp.



sticks for dessert. Meowth got a vein on his forehead. He leapt up and slashed James across the face. "Did you hear me?"

James looked up with big wobbly eyes and funny Anime-like tears.



ANGIE: Grrrrr . . .



"Ouch. That hurt!"

"We're leaving now, if ya didn't know..."

"But I'm still hungry!"



VEGETA: <Meowth> I don't know what else is LEFT to eat, you cleared it out!

MOUSSE: <James as Debbie Douglas> I was feeling peckish!



"Forget da food!



SHAMPOO: It will return later. Tee hee.



Da boss wants us to live up to our name.



ANGIE: He wants them to live up to Jessie, James and Meowth? What good will that do?



Time to go find Pokémon to swipe!"



VEGETA: <James> We could always try to get that Pikachu.



Reluctantly, James sighed and stood up. Meowth ran off ahead of him to find Jessie. As James was about to exit the cafeteria,



SHAMPOO: Stomach now size of Homer Simpson.



someone ran inside and pushed him over. "Watch who you're shoving!" James yelled angrily. Then he realized just WHO had knocked him down. "Mary...?"



MOUSSE: What's the Virgin Mary doing in a Pokémon fanfic?



Mary gasped and ran to the fallen James' side. "Oh, my! Are you hurt?" she gasped.



ANGIE: She already gasped, didn't she?

VEGETA: She felt the need to gasp twice.



"I'm so sorry." With each word, she added a honey-coated tone for emphasis.



VEGETA: Aww, jeez, honey-coated. I'm so hungry!



James looked at her aghast.



SHAMPOO: He scared whenever someone say "I'm so sorry".



He then jumped to his feet and stood up.



MOUSSE: What the? Didn't he stand up when he jumped to his FEET?

ANGIE: Here have some TYENOL.

MOUSSE: Aww, jeez, thanks.



As he dusted himself off, a dainty hand extended itself out to him.



VEGETA: And it touched his--- NO! Stopped myself there! Phew.



James blinked. Mary batted her eyes.



SHAMPOO: Why she bat eyes? They run out of baseballs?



James got a sweatdrop. Mary got blush.



ANGIE: Hey, is CTR related to you, Shampoo?

SHAMPOO: Me no think so.



James finally took her hand and helped her up. "I'm the one who should be sorry, I guess," James said. He smiled. "I didn't know who bumped me..."

Mary's face saddened at this. She turned away from James and chewed on her gloved thumb. "Is my reputation THAT bad... ?"



MOUSSE: <James> Which reputation? The one that says you're a complete and total hentai or the one that says you're a worse failure than me and Jessie?



This made James' heart melt.



VEGETA: Ow! First we have batting eyes and letting them wander and now melting hearts?

SHAMPOO: CTR morbid.



He patted her shoulder. "No! No! It's not that. What I meant was..." His stomach growled. "Eh..."

"Are you hungry?"



ANGIE: <James> Ohhhh, yeah.

SHAMPOO: <James as Ash the Demon Hunter> Give me some sugar, baby.

VEGETA: Oooo!



Mary said turning back around with dew-drop eyes.



MOUSSE: She's afraid James'll eat HER.



"I could buy you something..."



ANGIE: <James> Have a few thousand on you?



"Yes!" James exclaimed. Bloody Mary was actually going to buy him food? She had never been this kind to anyone.



VEGETA: Probably 'coz she wants SOMETHING in return, and not just info on Jessie!



James tried to recall what Jessie had said about Mary. He remembered she had said something to the extent of Mary



SHAMPOO: . . . carrying contagious, deadly disease . . .



being terrible. However, Jessie was wrong. Mary wasn't that bad!



MOUSSE: Just 'coz she's giving him food?

ANGIE: Oh, this is a sad portrayal of James.

VEGETA: Thank God he's not reading this.

SHAMPOO: Might blow up screen or flood theater with tears.



Courteously, James offered his arm to Mary. She took it eagerly.



VEGETA: And bashed him over the head with it.

ANGIE: We have too many wordplay jokes.



It was the gentlemanly thing to do, and he needed practice. Jessie wanted him to become a gentleman for her.

Mary felt the blood rush to her face. It seemed she were walking on air. James and Mary!



MOUSSE: Peter, James and Mary!



That was how it should be.



SHAMPOO: In sick sad world she from.



Once Jessie was out of the way...She remembered. She was here to get information from James, not just a romantic lunch. The two sat down at the table. "Whaddaya want?" Mary asked.



ANGIE: <James> I want yabbadabbadoo.



James looked at the same menu he had looked at just minutes before this scene. "Hmmmm...."

While he was looking, Mary thought of a subtle way she could approach James before dumping questions on him.



VEGETA: <Mary> Tongue in his ear? No. Uh, nibble the ear? No . . . Blow in the ear? Lick his face? WHAT'S SUBTLE?



She would have to start with the main thing itself.



SHAMPOO: Basically, sex.

MOUSSE: Shampoo!

SHAMPOO: Hey, CTR gave okay to be perverted.



"So...You and Jessie an item?" She hated the way that sounded.



ANGIE: And the sound of thousands of Jessie-and-James' relationshipers' angry yells rise into the sky.



James looked up from the menu and blushed.



SHAMPOO: <James> You ever see shape eggs in?

VEGETA: I think Shampoo's having too much fun with the hentai.



"That was a very forward question."

Mary shrugged and smiled sweetly. "Oh, well, you know..."

"No. I'm afraid I don't," James said a little angry. He put his menu down on the table. "Care to explain, Mary?"



MOUSSE: <Mary> Well, an "item" are two people, male and female, going out together on dates and the such. You know?

ANGIE: <James> I'm afraid I don't. Care to explain?



Mary had to wriggle her way out of this one. She made her eyes water. "Oh, James...It's terrible!"

"Huh?"

Mary pounded her fists onto the table. Tears came running down her cheeks. "I just needed to know. Jessie's in big trouble."

James jumped out of his seat. "Trouble?!? With who?"

"With...With..." Mary thought. "...With...Ash Ketchum..."



VEGETA: Wouldn't that be more like "With Brock"?



"Ash?"



SHAMPOO: Jessie bitten by Deadite, Ash hasta kill her now.

ANGIE: No, not Ash the Demon Hunter, Ash the Pokémon Trainer.

SHAMPOO: That twerp! What trouble he cause?



"Yes...That's right." Mary wiped her eyes on a napkin.



MOUSSE: Oh, yuck. Imagine, if they were sitting at the same table James had been before and he had been gorging himself . . .

OTHERS: Eww . . .



"Ash is setting a plot to kill Jessie."



VEGETA: That is to laugh.



"OH MY GOD!"



ANGIE: <God> Uh, yes?



"I need to know as much information as I can to help her..."

SHAMPOO: <Mary> Like, what she allergic to that can kill her? What immunities she have? What weaknesses are?



James sat back down and took Mary's hands in his. His eyes were wide. "Are you sure about this, Mary?"

Mary nodded. "Yes!" she wailed.

"Then..." James looked away from her for a moment. "I will tell you everything I know..."

This was it, Mary thought. James would be the key to bringing Jessie down. Good thing he was so gullible.



VEGETA: I think the author misspelled "glutton".



"Yes...?"

"Jessie..."

"Yes...?"

"Jessie is..."

"YES...?"

"Jessie is...Afraid of roller-coasters."



ANGIE: <bursts out laughing>

(others don't know why this is so funny, but they talk amid Angie's hysterical laughter.)

SHAMPOO: Jessie scared of roller coasters? Me think roller coaster fun!

VEGETA: Have you been on the one here in the ship?

SHAMPOO: Hai! It fun! Karigari and Ami make good design team.

MOUSSE: There's a roller coaster on the SoD?

VEGETA: Yeah, on Curve B, Deck 6.

MOUSSE: No one ever told me!

SHAMPOO: You no ask.

(Angie finally calms down and they resume reading)



Mary's face turned blue.



ANGIE: hee- <Mary> Hey! Who turned up the A/C? -hee, roller coaster-



"What...?"

James nodded and pounded his fist into his other hand. "That must be it! Ash wants to put Jessie on a death-defying roller-coaster!"



VEGETA: How will that kill Jessie? The one here on the SoD is bigger and faster than any on Earth and Jessie survived that when James dragged her on.

MOUSSE: Maybe CTR thinks Jessie has a heart murmur and her heart'll stop from fear.



Mary fell over Anime-style. James grinned proudly. Mary jumped back up and faced him. "That's all you know?"



SHAMPOO: <James> Yup, 'less need info on food, have lotso' that!

ANGIE: <Mary> Ooo, wonderful, how do you make crêpê?



"Yes! Now I'm sure Jessie will be saved!"

This was all too much for her to bear. "I see... Well I'd better stop Ash Ketchum then." Her voice was bland.



VEGETA: It needed some salt.



She got up out of her chair



MOUSSE: I don't mean to be rude, BUT SHE ALREADY DID THAT!

ANGIE: CTR doesn't believe in continuity.

VEGETA: <bad Mexican accent> Continuity? We don't need no stinkin' continuity!



with no character



SHAMPOO: She no carry Garfield or Snoopy, definitely no Bugs Bunny.



and shuffled her feet out the door. "Great..."



ANGIE: <Mary> My feet shuffled out without me again.



James sat happily at the table. He had just saved Jessie's life! He was so proud of himself. Then he looked at the menu down in front of him and his stomach growled again. "Mary," he called. "You forgot to buy me lunch!"



MOUSSE: Maybe Mary should have been more clear and said something like "Hey, James, tell me all you know about the Moon Kingdom and Jessie as a Good Guy?" That would have worked better.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



VEGETA: Staryu have invaded by sea off the coast of Mexico . . .



*Pocky - A type of Japanese cookie. It is a wafer stick that is dipped in flavored icing, usually chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry.



ANGIE: It is otherwise known as a WAFER cookie.



[ Return to top ]



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 5 -"The Hunt for Meowth"



MOUSSE: Fed up with that stupid accent, Jessie and James decided to get rid of Meowth once and for all.



Alone in her room again, Jessie lay on her bed sobbing.



SHAMPOO: Don't cry, Musa-chan, we all know Koji-chan not smartest man but he cute!



'Titanic'



ANGIE: . . . she realized was the worst movie ever made.



was the best movie she had ever seen! Jack was such a romantic artist. And Rose knew what true love was when it was face-to-face with her. She deified her fiancée



MOUSSE: Which is the feminine way to spell that word.



and her own mother to remain with the man she truly loved. Love...Such a wonderful thing.



VEGETA: I guess I would have liked Titanic too . . . IF IT HADN'T TAKEN SO STINKIN' LONG FOR THE SHIP TO SINK AND THERE WASN'T AN OLD LADY SAYING "THAT WAS THE MOST EROTIC MOMENT OF MY LIFE"!!!!!!

SHAMPOO: Vegeta so passionate in his hate.

VEGETA: <gasp, gasp>



Jessie rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She recalled this morning and the incident with James and Mary. Mary was nasty. She knew darn good and well that James was already taken...



ANGIE: <announcer> Today on Jerry Springer . . .



Meowth entered her room again, almost slashing the door in two.



MOUSSE: <Meowth> You're watching that movie again, aren't you? Even after I FORBADE you to watch it!



"Has James come back yet?"

Jessie glared at Meowth. "Entering again without my permission? You don't have any manners, Meowth!"



SHAMPOO: Did Jessie become Meowth?

VEGETA: No, CTR just put a comma in the wrong place again.



"Dat doesn't matter now!"



ANGIE: That's right! "Dat" isn't important, James is!



Meowth groaned. "James is missing.



MOUSSE: <Meowth> I haven't seen him in five minutes!



He was supposed to be right behind me."

Jessie jumped to her feet and put her hands on her hips. "He's probably still porking out at the cafeteria!" she said, seeming somewhat annoyed. "Let's go find him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: That bumpy road.



Bloody Mary met up with Mack near the cafeteria. "That did not go well at all..."



ANGIE: <Mary> First he confused me then threw up on me . . . it . . . just didn't go well.



Mack nodded. "Figures. James isn't exactly who you would call an Einstein..."

Bad move.



VEGETA: Mack was going to lose a few points for that mistake, now he has no chance to win.



Mary lifted her brother off the ground by his stubby ponytail, sustained him there for awhile, then brought him down hard upon the floor.



MOUSSE: Sisters are great, aren't they?

ANGIE: I somehow remember my brother, and I want to cry.

SHAMPOO: Oh, do Angie miss brother?

ANGIE: No, all the pain just came flooding back.



She wiped her hands off her skirt. "No matter. There's still another we can ask."

The bashed-up Mack moaned in pain. "Who might that be?"



VEGETA: <Mary> Ken Starr, he could waste thousands of American dollars on digging up witnesses for me.



"...Meowth..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James still sat in the cafeteria reading the menu. He was the only person in the room,



MOUSSE: <janitor> Uh, excuse me, sir, but it's MIDNIGHT . . . so, can you, y'know, leave?



besides the cookers in the kitchen.



ANGIE: <cooker lady> That James, a lad after me own heart. <hock!>



Mary had promised to buy him food and she had left. That was a problem. He was still hungry and had absolutely no money left.



SHAMPOO: Shouldn't've wasted it on violent, porn manga.



He sighed, and a little mushroom cloud popped out of his mouth.



ANGIE: Aaa! He ate Toadstool's cousin, he was so hungry!



Meowth and Jessie walked into the cafeteria. "There he is," Jessie calmly remarked.



MOUSSE: And she calmly said, "Let's dip his head into the deep-fryer."



They walked over to James. "Ummm...Lunchtime is over, if you were wondering."

James looked up at Jessie. "But, Mary..."

"MARY?!?" Jessie fumed. "What was that woman asking of you!"

James jumped to his feet.



SHAMPOO: <James> You no dis on Mary! She offer food!



"Ash is trying to kill you!"

"What?"

He nodded. "Yes. He was going to use a big roller-coaster."

Jessie's eyes twirled.



VEGETA: Jessie's eyes are SO talented!

ANGIE: And now Jessie's eyes will jump through this flaming hoop!



"R-r-roller-coaster?" She dropped to her knees. "I feel dizzy..."

Meowth eyed James. "And just who told you dis?"

"Mary!"



MOUSSE: <James> Mary and her sheep!



James gasped. "She was asking me to give her as much information on Jessie as I could so we could stop Ash's plan and save her life..."

"INFORMATION ON ME?" Jessie roared as she stood up and grabbed James by the collar of his shirt. "You were going to give that trash information on me?"



SHAMPOO: <Jessie> This prove it. Mary leave you, fall for me. Now what?

ANGIE: Unfortunately for her, James told Mary Jessie was a diabetic, had a case of mono that's lasted for five years, has uterine cancer, AIDs, and was addicted to heroine.



James cried. "But Jessie, if I hadn't, you would've died!"

"Something screwy's goin' on here..."



VEGETA: It's that wascally wabbit.



Meowth said to himself. "First da incident with James, and now dis? What could dat girl be up to?" He walked out of the cafeteria to find Mary.



MOUSSE: Is it THAT hard for them to figure out?

ANGIE: SEX! Mary wants SEX!

VEGETA: Woah! Angie, sensitivity, please!

MOUSSE: A lady should not speak like that.

ANGIE: Then tell those guys to get the cotton outta their eyes!

SHAMPOO: Gratuitous idiocy.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mack and Tack were wandering through a path that led to Cerulean city. Tack looked at Mack.



ANGIE: <Tack> So, Mack, what did we pack?

VEGETA: <Mack> A snack and a shack.

ANGIE: <Tack> A computer to hack?

VEGETA: <Mack> That's in the pack, Tack.



"So...Exactly what were we doing again?"



MOUSSE: We have to plant this dynamite on the bridge to blow it up so oncoming troops can't get across.

OTHERS: ???

MOUSSE: It was a Hemmingway book . . .



Mack, now covered with Band-Aids and wearing a sling, moaned.



SHAMPOO: Why? 'Coz Mary threw him down?

ANGIE: No, on the way to Cerulean, he accidentally fell into a pit of Ekans, and a valley full of Mankeys, then he stepped on a Sandshrew, it's just not his day.



"Mary says our next source to ask would be Meowth.



VEGETA: <Mack> Therefore we are going to Cerulean!



We're going to find something to help us do that."

"Something?" Tack asked.



MOUSSE: <Tack> Like a nuke?



"A Pokémon?"

Mack nodded. "Yes. One that talks, so we'll be equally matched."

"What kind of Pokémon?" Tack asked, excited about the new plan.



ANGIE: Oh! I know! They're heading for Maiden's Peak to find Gastly!



Suddenly



MOUSSE: As if in a flash!



they heard something. Mack motioned for Tack to be silent and follow him. The two entered some tall-grass. They saw a tiny Pokémon sitting by a river.



SHAMPOO: <Mack> It new mouse type Pokémon! Oh, wait, it IS mouse . . .

VEGETA: <Tack> Can mice talk?

SHAMPOO: <Mack> Keep that up, Tack, you be killed.



From the looks of things, it was a Meowth.

"Perfect!" Mack whispered. "Another Meowth would be more intimidating..."



ANGIE: Another Meowth? Would think a Moltres or a Scyther would be more intimidating.



He pulled out two Pokéballs.

"What if it doesn't talk?" Tack questioned.

Mack waved him off. He stood up and threw one of the Pokéballs forward. "Pokéball, go!"

The ball landed right next to the Meowth. Out popped a giant



MOUSSE: Metapod?



Scyther.

"Scyther!"

"Scyther?"



SHAMPOO: Scyther.

VEGETA: Scyther.

ANGIE: Scyther.

MOUSSE: Scyther.



Tack gasped. "It'll kill that Meowth!"

The Scyther attacked the Meowth with it's razor-sharp arms.



ANGIE: It gave the Meowth a close-clean shave.

VEGETA: It attacked the Meowth with "it is" razor sharp arms?



The Meowth dodged, scattering coins everywhere.



MOUSSE: Oh, yuck! Meowths must have "accidents" when they're scared.



Scyther was not impressed by that attack. It slashed the Meowth across the stomach, causing it to faint.



SHAMPOO: And Scyther lay eggs in carcass.



"Easy!" Mack exclaimed. "Good job, Scyther. Return!" Scyther was sucked back into its Pokéball. Mack threw the other one and captured the Meowth. "Let's see what we got!"



ANGIE: What, he isn't sure that it's a Meowth?



Tack jumped up and down joyfully. "Open it up! Open it up!"



VEGETA: Unfortunately for Mack, Tack wasn't talking about the Pokéball.



"Meowth, I choose you!" The Meowth popped out of the ball. The two young men were in shock. "It's a girl!" Mack exclaimed.

The little Pokémon sat there, her big eyes shining brightly.



MOUSSE: . . . in pain. She was getting an infection from the slash across her belly.



On her two attena-like whiskers were little pink bows.



SHAMPOO: She born with bows?



The coin on her head was gold, but in the shape of a big heart. Her cheeks were full of blush and she had a pinkish-brownish stomach.



VEGETA: Ew, what is she? A pet of the Care Bears?

ANGIE: It's so sickeningly cute.



"Meowthy!" it purred.



MOUSSE: And thus her name is "Meowthy"!

SHAMPOO: How you know?

MOUSSE: It's quite obvious.

VEGETA: Predictability in a fanfic is not good.

ANGIE: "It" purred? I thought they said it was a "she"?



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: <in cheerful announcer voice> Suffer through the agonizing slowness yet again!



______________________________________________________________________________



ANGIE: A railroad track!

MOUSSE: Let's hop aboard an oncoming train, maybe we can escape.



Chapter 6 -"And They Call it Pokémon Love"



SHAMPOO: Do you?

VEGETA: Heh, I should say NOT!



"Meowthy!"

"It doesn't talk?" Mary grumbled.



ANGIE: Of course it does! It just said, "Meowthy!".



Mack and Tack both smiled sheepishly. "We could teach it to," Tack suggested.



MOUSSE: But Meowth is actually a human, how will they teach Meowthy?

VEGETA: This is when Rob comes in. He turned a girl named "Renee O'Conner" into a Meowth 'coz she wouldn't lower her top any more.

SHAMPOO: Meowth's boy name actually "Ted Raimi" and they live happy together.

ANGIE: There, the Joxer-Gabby joke as we promised Jessica.



"Sure we could," Mary sighed. She bent over and scratched Meowthy under her chin. Meowthy purred loudly. "Oh well...Meowth will at least be able to talk to it."

Mack cringed. "But what if Meowth doesn't fall in love easilly?"



VEGETA: <Mary> Of course he will! It's mating season.

ANGIE: <sings> Meowth Cats come out tonight, Meowth Cats come one, come all, the Meowth Moon is hanging bright, Meowths come to the Meowth Ball!



Mary winked. "I know men. They fall for anything..."



SHAMPOO: Me hate to point out, but James didn't.

MOUSSE: Maybe she means if they're good and drunk.

VEGETA: <Mary> And give Meowthy a quart of sake to give to Meowth!



"Hey!"



ANGIE: . . . is for horses. HAH!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: Do not run on path, sprain ankle.



Meowth wandered around the halls looking for Bloody Mary.



MOUSSE: <Meowth> Maybe I should check da corner of da streets in skid row.



She had something really mean up her sleeve, and Meowth was determined to find out what it was.



VEGETA: It turned out to be a rabid badger.



What was it she knew that he didn't?



ANGIE: Calculus and trig?



By that evening,



MOUSSE: Meowth was hopelessly lost on Victory Road.

ANGIE: <Meowth> How'd I get here?

SHAMPOO: Meowth related to Ryoga?



Meowth had checked every inch of Team Rocket's HeadQuarters. He decided to take a breather. He stepped outside into the night air. "Mary's sure elusive," he thought to himself.



VEGETA: Then it occurred to him. "Maybe if I had checked her BEDROOM! Duhh . . ."



It was already dark outside. There was no noise, except for maybe a few crickets and Zubats chirping, or a few Pidgeys singing. Meowth rested his paw against a tree and leaned against it. He sighed, looking at the stars.



SHAMPOO: Waaaahhh!

MOUSSE: What is it, Shampoo?

SHAMPOO: Me miss Earth.

ANGIE & MOUSSE: Yeah . . .



Suddenly,



SHAMPOO: <sobbing> As if in a flash . . .



and without warning, something fell out of the tree and landed on top of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: Oh! The tension is so great! Exactly *what* fell on Meowth? Do we know? YES! But we'll humor Chibi Team Rocket. 'Coz we so nice! <wink>



Jessie was in her room again, rewinding her movie.



MOUSSE: And after she rewound "Titanic", she took it outside and used it as a target in the archery range!



She wanted to watch it again...Either that or find another Leonardo Di Caprio tape!



SHAMPOO: WHY?!?

VEGETA: Boy, are we going to get a bunch of hate mail.



A knock was heard.



ANGIE: She opened the door and there stood the No-Life Sailors, coming to kick King DiCRAPio's butt!

VEGETA: Shameless fanifc plug #1.

ANGIE: We did that last episode . . . Oh well!



Jessie groaned.



MOUSSE: That Ed McMahan just wouldn't leave her alone!



If it was Meowth again, she was going to give him a piece of her mind.



SHAMPOO: No more wordplay riffs.

ANGIE: <sad> Ohhh . . .



"Whaddaya want, Meowth?"

"Can I come in?" a voice answered.



VEGETA: More like asked, but I won't say a thing.



It was James. Jessie sighed in relief and opened the door. James entered. "Of course! I'm sorry...



MOUSSE: <Jessie> I just discovered an equation that explains just HOW we managed t get into the SM dimension, that's why I said "Of course!" So now go away.



I thought you were Meowth. He's been bugging me lately."

James looked down at the ground.



SHAMPOO: <James> Me sorry me not Meowth . . .



"Jessie, I have something to tell you."

"Yes?"

"Well, I'm awfully sorry about Mary, and everything that happened today." He looked at her with eyes of a small child.



ANGIE: Omigod!! He went insane, killed a small child and replaced his eyes with the kid's!

SHAMPOO: Oh, humanity!



Jessie smiled. "Oh, it wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself. Mary's an idiot."



VEGETA: Geez, that came out of nowhere!

MOUSSE: Jessie's pissy today.

SHAMPOO: Time of month?



He looked away from Jessie again. "Umm...I also have a confession..."

At this, Jessie prepared for the worst and bit her lip. Uh huh...?"



ANGIE: <James> I'm actually a woman.

VEGETA: Sigh. Saw that comin' from a mile away.

ANGIE: I HAD to say it!



"When I ran into Mary in the cafeteria this afternoon, she offered



SHAMPOO: <James> . . . me money, and . . . the rest obvious.



to buy me lunch. Jessie, I didn't want to believe you about Mary being bad. I truly thought she was nicer than we thought," James then looked Jessie right in the eyes. "But, after I thought about it for a while,



MOUSSE: <James> I noticed smoke coming out of my ears. Is that bad?



I realized that it was bad of me to think that!" He took her hands.



VEGETA: And he ran away with them, giggling.



"I will always trust you, Jessie.



ANGIE: <James> Even though you lie constantly, about your age, to friends and family, your hair truly isn't red, your weight . . .



You're the one who keeps me together."

Jessie blushed heavilly and looked lovingly



SHAMPOO: Loverly.

MOUSSE: Loouuvely.



at him. "Thank you, James-chan."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: Oh, I'm getting seasick.

ANGIE: Are you sure it's not from the fanfic?

VEGETA: That might be it.



Serena tossed and turned in Darien's bed.



ALL: DARIEN'S bed!?



"No! Leave my friend alone!" she cried. "Help! Help!"

Darien, who was sleeping on the couch



SHAMPOO: How he get there?

MOUSSE: Musta been ROUGH!



ran into the room. "Serena!"



ANGIE: <Mamoru/Darien> Don't you have a house of your own, Serena?!



He took her by the shoulders. "Serena, wake up."

Serena opened her eyes, and tears began to fall. "Darien," she sobbed. "I had a horrible nightmare!"

Darien hugged her. "What, Serena? What was it about?"



VEGETA: <Usagi/Serena> I, uh, don't remember, hee hee. Let's go for ice cream!



"I, as Neo Queen Serenity, was sitting in a puddle of blood," Serena cried louder.



SHAMPOO: <Usagi/Serena> Then me realize, sob, it pudding!

MOUSSE: Unbeknownst to most people, Usagi's scared of pudding.

SHAMPOO: Jell-O worse. 'Specially with fruit in it.



"Everything hurt, Darien! You were hanging off a cliff,



ANGIE: <Usagi/Serena, sobbing> Like the complete doofus you are . . .



and a woman was standing near me holding a big chain-like weapon. Then...Then she took Princess Jessie by the throat and beat her with the weapon. I tried to move, but...Everything hurts!" She collapsed on the bed.



VEGETA: Usagi has the gift of foresight?

ANGIE: Great Tree gave her the dream, as a warning.

VEGETA: Had to fit Great Tree in there somewhere, didn't you?



Darien sat there, disgusted.



MOUSSE: Disgusted with Serena.



"What the Hell could that mean?" he asked, sweat streaming down his face.



VEGETA: It means that you're gonna be hanging off a cliff soon, Jessie's brains are gonna be busted in by Mary, and that Neo-Serenity-sama is going to be sitting in a pool of blood crying that it hurts! What do you think it means?

SHAMPOO: Dream interpretation by Hino Rei: Mean Usagi sex demon.

OTHERS: Ooooo.



He quickly, but thoughtlessly,



ANGIE: . . . yelled at Usagi to get the Hell out of his house.



headed to the sink



MOUSSE: . . . where he keeps a bottle of Jack Daniel's . . .



and doused a washcloth with cold water. Then he went back into the bedroom and patted Serena's face with it. "It's alright," he told Serena, and himself. "It will be okay..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: Even scene change lines doubt Mamoru.



"Ahhhhh!"



ALL: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!



Meowth rolled out from underneath the being. He drew his claws. "You wanna fight Meowth?"

Two large eyes looked up at him.



VEGETA: Oh-ho, extraterrestrial life.

ANGIE: And Fox Mulder comes rushing in screaming about the truth and is sister and all . . .

MOUSSE: And off to the side is Cancer Man, puffin' away on his cigarettes.

SHAMPOO: <Cancer Man> Virginia Slims, please. -Hack!-



An innocent voice spoke. "Why, no I don't...I'm awfully sorry I fell on you."

Meowth gulped. In front of him stood the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.



ANGIE: An Articuno?

VEGETA: No, a Pikachu.

SHAMPOO: Both wrong, it pink Butterfree with gossamer wings.

MOUSSE: A my little Ponyta!



Redness filled his cheeks, and his heart ached. "M-m-meowth...?"

The girl Meowth giggled. "My name is Meowthy!"



ANGIE: Ohhh, we were all wrong, it's the deformed Meowth.

MOUSSE: Hah, I was right, her name IS Meowthy.



"Hiya-hiyaya..." Meowth was speechless.



SHAMPOO: Me no know American Meowth knew Japanese.



"What's your name?"



VEGETA: <Meowth> Matt-- Damn! No, I mean, Meowth. I'm a regular, plain ol' Meowth.



"Meowth...Dat's right..."

Meowthy edged closer to him. "Well, I guess that would be right. But you can talk, can't you?"



MOUSSE: <Meowth> You mean I'm not right now?



Every step Meowthy moved closer, Meowth moved farther away.



ANGIE: <Bugs Bunny> I dare ya to step over THIS line.

VEGETA: <Sam> Okay, ya varmint. Aaaaaaaa! <fades away as if falling off a cliff>



Soon he was backed-up against the tree. "Y-you can't talk?"

Meowthy was right next to him now. "No, I can't," she said.



SHAMPOO: So she speak sign language, what?



"Maybe you can teach me. It's been ages since I've seen another of my kind, let alone a talker."



MOUSSE: <Meowthy> I have yet to see a looker.



"Of course," Meowth said, pressing harder onto the tree. She was so beautiful!

"Oh, thank you!" she purred, rubbing against Meowth. Meowth felt like he was a balloon ready to pop.



ANGIE: To make matters worse, Meowth has a nosebleed comin' on, but he has no nose!



Then Meowthy bopped one of his antenas back and forth. He sweated more rappidly. She then went for the kill. Meowthy kissed him on the cheek.



VEGETA: <quietly> We are now watching the Meowth mating rituals. Beautiful, ne?

OTHERS: <makes various sounds of sickness>



This was too much for Meowth too bear. He jumped into the air and landed out of Meowthy's grasp.



MOUSSE: Once Cleo did that to me after I picked her up, only she added a few claws.

ANGIE: Why did you pick her up? She only likes Jessica touching her.

MOUSSE: <behind muffling hand> -ahem- I thought it was Shampoo -ahem-

ANGIE: Excuse me?



He smiled. "So, see ya tomorrow, I guess?"

"Yes," Meowthy said cutefully and seductavely.

Meowth got a goofy grin and tried to walk back indoors, but hit against the wall. He finally found the door and waltzed in.



ANGIE: Bam! Complete and total Joxer flashback there.

VEGETA: You think CTR likes that show?

SHAMPOO: Joxer dork.

<from out of *nowhere*> JESSICA: DON'T DIS ON JOXER THE MIGHTY!!!

MOUSSE: Careful, she might sic Cleo on you.

SHAMPOO: <whimper> Joxer . . . cool?

JESSICA: That's better. <voice disappears>



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mack and Tack high-fived each other.



ANGIE: For no apparent reason, they just did.



They had been watching Meowthy and Meowth from behind some bushes. "I knew Meowthy would be a perfect choice!" Mack exclaimed.



VEGETA: <Tack> Thank God, too, else Mary woulda had me do it in a female Meowth suit.



Tack laughed. "You mean a purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect choice!" he said as he got a Meowth face.



MOUSSE: Geez, no wonder his brothers and sister picks on him the most.

SHAMPOO: <Mack> Keep that up, Tack, you soon be dead.

ANGIE: Fifteen 'r's! I've been waiting to do that since the start of this fanfic!



Mack hit him over the head. "You are lame!"

"For one in so much pain," Tack said holding his newly-begun black eye. "You can sure hit hard.

Mack's face turned purple.



SHAMPOO: Eeeeeek! Mack have Captain Tripps!!!!

OTHERS: ???

SHAMPOO: It a Stephen King book. "The Stand"?

OTHERS: ???

SHAMPOO: Captain Tripps disease that kill nearly all world population . . . Go ask if borrow Jessica or Kasey's copies.

VEGETA: Sounds interesting, maybe I will.



"OUCH!" he cried as he held his slinged-arm, the one that he had punched with. "That wasn't smart!"

"No...It wasn't."



MOUSSE: And are we surprised?

ALL: No.



[ Return to top ]



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 7 -"This is Where Things Get Complicated"



MOUSSE: Gee, thanks for warning us.

ANGIE: <hums "Joxer's Song" while fiddling around>

VEGETA: What're you doing, Angie?

ANGIE: Putting cotton in my eyes.

VEGETA: Give me that cotton!

ANGIE: No! It's mine!

<they struggle over it, until Vegeta accidentally blasts the cotton into next week>

ANGIE: Oh, wonderful, Vegeta! Now NONE of us will be spared!



Jessie and James sat cuddling under a big blanket in Jessie's room.



ALL: Ech.

ANGIE: See, I coulda used that cotton to block out that image!

VEGETA: If I'm going down, I'm taking all of you with me!



"I wonder where Meowth is," James said. "He's usually in bed by this time."



SHAMPOO: They better not have kotatsu under with them, could suffocate them.

ANGIE: "koh-tah-sue"?

SHAMPOO: It mean "heater".

ANGIE: Oh.

VEGETA: Wouldn't that be cute if Kotatsu Neko showed up.

MOUSSE: <Ash the Pokémon Trainer> What kind of Pokémon is THAT?



Jessie stood up, taking the blanket with her. James fell over sideways. "You're right, James."



SHAMPOO: <Jessie> St. Johnswort really DO work!



She looked up at her clock on the wall. A Pidgeotto popped out like a cuckoo-clock. It clucked twelve times. Jessie gasped. "It's midnight!"



VEGETA: <Jessie> Blue Seed's on the Action Channel!

ANGIE: Awww, I would love to have a clock like that.

MOUSSE: Maybe the Pokémon products producers will read this and catch a clue.



James got up. "I guess I'd better go then..."

"Oh, no you don't," Jessie laughed. "You stay right where you are!"



SHAMPOO: <Jessie> We still have "Yahtzee" to play.

ANGIE: <announce-like voice> Disturbing views being thrown left and right!

VEGETA: This is gross. Maybe Chibi Team Rocket is a lemon writer in hiding.

MOUSSE: Let's just hope her hidden talent doesn't explode all over the place at some point.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meowth walked on air to his cat-bed in James' room.



SHAMPOO: Those cat-beds CUTE!

ANGIE: Yeah, the way the cat's head sticks out the holes and all!

ALL: <make various squealing sounds like girls would when seeing something beyond cute>



His heart fluttered and his mind kept producing images of Meowthy.



VEGETA: Just as long as he doesn't project them onto the wall, that's fine with me.



He smiled and purred. "Oh...Meowthy..."



MOUSSE: <Meowth, whimsically> . . . Such a STUPID name . . .



He completely forgot about Mary and everything else that had happened today. He was not aware of what time it was, where he was, or who he was.



VEGETA: The Plutonians musta erased his identity.

MOUSSE: Whatever happened to that show, "The Net"?

VEGETA: It musta been canned.

MOUSSE: Musta.



All that mattered to him was Meowthy.



ANGIE: And balls of yarn, can't forget that.



Aimlessly, he reached for the doorknob on James' door.



SHAMPOO: Augh!!! You mean he not there yet? Me thought he was!



He opened it and walked in.



VEGETA: Then he realized he had accidentally walked into Jessie's room.

MOUSSE: <Meowth> OMIGOD!!! What ARE you two DOING!!!



"Sorry if I disturbed you, James" Meowth sighed, dropping onto his bed. When there was no groan or any other answer, Meowth walked over and jumped on James' bed.



ALL: <sings> Ten little Meowths jumping on a bed! One fell off and broke his head! Mama called the doctor and the doctor said: "No more Meowths jumping on the bed!"



Empty? "He must still be at dinner," Meowth groaned.



ANGIE: <Meowth, pissy> That glutton.



He rested on the bed. How nice it was to be in a human's bed! He hadn't been in one since...Since...



VEGETA: No!! Not another Matt flashback!

SHAMPOO: That right! What about human thing?

MOUSSE: How will CTR unwind that little mess?

VEGETA: Hopefully we will find out soon . . . Or not, it doesn't matter much to me.



What was he doing?



ANGIE: Yeah, what is your damage?



Meowth sat up and shook his head. "What are you doing, buddy?"



MOUSSE: <nervous> Who's talking?



he asked himself.



MOUSSE: Oh.



"You can't fall in love with a Pokémon. You're human, damn it!"



VEGETA: That must be against his religion somehow.

SHAMPOO: Maybe not. Remember, these guys' lives revolve round Pokémon.

VEGETA: Ewww.



He recalled the day he was changed from young Matt into Meowth. It was terrible. His screaming in pain while Giovanni laughed at him.



ANGIE: Who's worse? Giovanni, or Rob?

MOUSSE: That's tough . . . Giovanni turned a young boy into a Meowth, while Rob yanked us all out of our dimensions, forcing us to read Team Rocket fanfic that we really don't care for . . .

SHAMPOO: Me think Rob win.



Meowth's eyes wobbled. He buried his face in his paws. No, no! He couldn't fall in love. Not with Meowthy!



VEGETA: He's in love? I thought it was based solely on hormones.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mack and Tack had reported the good news to Mary. "Meowth is doing the dirty work for us," Tack said. "He's gonna teach Meowthy how to talk."

"Excellent," Mary smiled. "The more time he spends with her, the better."

Jack and Zack nodded.



ANGIE: Where'd ZACK come from?



This plan was going great. Besides that, their sister was happy. When Mary was happy, no one got hurt.



MOUSSE: They'd finally be able to eat after sixteen days of starvation!

VEGETA: "It'll help ya get in touch with Buddha," Mary had said, but they all knew she hated them.



Little Meowthy walked into the room. "Meowthy," she said, announcing her arrival.



SHAMPOO: That diva. Me no like already.



Mary's arms outstretched wide to the Pokémon. "Oh! Good job, Meowthy!" But Meowthy ignored her and walked straight into Mack's arms. The brothers all got sweatdrops.



ANGIE: <brothers> Gawd, Mack, THAT'S disgusting!

VEGETA: Angie!

ANGIE: Oops, sorry.



Mary clenched her fist. "What?"



MOUSSE: I didn't say anything.



Mack petted Meowthy gently. "You're forgetting who caught her, Mary-san. I'm Meowthy's owner."



SHAMPOO: That good question. Why Pokémon love people who capture them and stole them from their freedom?



"Not for long!" Mary said, grabbing Meowthy out of Mack's arms. Meowthy screeched.



VEGETA: Yes, Mary's stench is overpowering, even to us-- and we're READING about her.



"She had better get used to me. I'm the leader of this group."

"But, Mary..."

Mary slapped Mack across the face. "No buts, ingrate! Meowthy belongs to me!" She stormed out of the room taking Meowthy with her.



ANGIE: Then she came across Giovanni, who slapped HER across the face, and took her Meowthy claiming that since HE was the boss of her, he got to keep the kitty.



Tack patted Mack's shoulder. Mack's eyes wobbled. "I loved that Meowthy..."



ALL: Awww . . .

SHAMPOO: Shampoo actually feel sorry for little twerp.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning,



MOUSSE: Mack had gone berserk and went on a killing spree, starting first with his beloved sister.



Serena went over to Raye's temple to ask her about interpreting the dream she had had.



SHAMPOO: Me tell you already! Usagi sex demon!

OTHERS: Oooooo.



Raye listened attentively, shuddering slightly.



VEGETA: Usagi had caught her just as she was coming out of the shower, and there was a cool breeze blowing.



"Serena, we're all in danger," Raye said calmly.



ANGIE: Actually, only JESSIE is in trouble. She's the one who DIED in her dream.



Serena whimpered. "I'll talk to the Fires about it first,



ALL: <snicker>

MOUSSE: She'll TALK to the Fires?

SHAMPOO: Shampoo think Rei lose it.



but I think it's a little obvious."

"I thought so," Serena cringed.



VEGETA: <Usagi/Serena, whimpering> I don't mean that, I'm as dumb as a doornail.

ANGIE: What IS a doornail? I've always wondered about that.

ALL: Hmmmm.



"Ask them about the enemy, too."



MOUSSE: You would figure the Fire Channeling stuff would fly right over American Serena's head.



"You mean the woman with the weapon?"

"Yes,"

Raye knelt in front of her Fire. "Oh, sacred Flames,



SHAMPOO: <sings/chants> Shimmy shimmy cocobop, shimmy bopbop.



please give us the meaning of Serena's dream."



ANGIE: <Fire as a Magic 8 Ball> Try again later.



A dark shadow filled the room and fire surrounded the two girls.



VEGETA: The Fire caught the drapes on fire and the paper walls are burning!



Raye's eyes turned full. "Princess Jessie will die." Raye interpreted.



SHAMPOO: Ack!!!! That what WE say! It not that hard!



"What?"



MOUSSE: She said: PRINCESS JESSIE WILL DIE!!!!!

OTHERS: Woah!!



"And Prince Endymion will help kill her. Then he will suffer greatly for it." Serena's eyes widened.



VEGETA: Hah! Seems that Bishoonen Kamen is no good!



Raye continued. "You will not be able to do anything, Princess.



ANGIE: <Rei/Raye> 'Coz you are a total puss.



Your love for Darien will hold you back from doing what is right, and your friendship with Jessie will shatter.



MOUSSE: Lucky Jessie.



All...Will...Die!" Then Raye fell into a heap on the floor.



SHAMPOO: And she die.

VEGETA: I SUPPOSE that could be draining enough to make Rei faint . . . Aw, who am I kidding, no it wasn't.



Serena trembled as she crawled over to Raye. "Raye-chan..." she gasped. "That can't be..."



ANGIE: <Usagi/Serena> This delicious yogurt has NO grams of fat? That can't be!



Raye opened her eyes. They were hollow and normal again. "Where am I?"



VEGETA: I bet you Rei wakes up saying that A LOT.



She looked at the shocked face of Serena and knew that the Flames had given her the Power to understand fully.



SHAMPOO: Shampoo confused.

ANGIE: Try not to think about it. Here, have some TYENOL.

SHAMPOO: Thanks.



"What did they say?"

She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. Serena just sat there, clutching the Imperium Silver Crystal locket that was on her bow. She looked at Raye with blank eyes. "Jessie will die..."



MOUSSE: <Usagi/Serena> But that's just a paraphrase.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let's go eat breakfast!"



VEGETA: Blueberry pancakes! Yeah!

ANGIE: Augh, even I'm starting to get hungry.

SHAMPOO: Is it not round lunch time yet?



"James, it's still early..."

"But, Jessie, I'm hungry!"

"You're always hungry."



MOUSSE: That *animal*!



James ran out the door of Jessie's room to his own room at eight thirty in the morning.



VEGETA: . . . buck-naked.



He had to get dressed



ANGIE: Hah! Good call, Vegeta.



and washed-up before the crowd got to the cafeteria. He opened the door to his room and turned on the light. He was surprised to see Meowth curled up in a ball on HIS bed.



SHAMPOO: Well, he show Meowth. He go sleep in Meowth's bed.



"Great," he muttered. "I'll be trying to get cat-hairs outta my bed for decades..."



MOUSSE: Meowths don't look like the kind of felines to shed.

ANGIE: A PERSIAN, however . . .



Meowth heard him and wearily opened his eyes. "James...?" James stood there in



VEGETA: . . . all his nakedness . . .



his Rocket pants and black tee-shirt.



VEGETA: Oh . . .



His boots and gloves were off and he looked pretty mad. "So, you finally decided to stop stuffing your face?"

"What are you talking about, Meowth?" James said, gritting his teeth. "I haven't been stuffing my face!



SHAMPOO: <James> Well, I was, but nothing you need know about.



And why ask ME questions? You're the one in the wrong bed."

"Well, if you weren't in da cafeteria, where were you?"

James smirked. "With Jessie!"



VEGETA: And Meowth proceeds to add vomit to the collection of cat hair on James' bed.



Meowth got a billion sweatdrops.



MOUSSE: Those suckers are worse than rabbits!



"And he tells me I'M sleeping in da wrong bed..." he thought to himself.



ALL: Haha . . . ha?



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: Do I feel like it? Mmmm, no.



______________________________________________________________________________



ANGIE: I know what that line is. It's the view of monkey bars when you're looking directly at it.



Chapter 8 -"Source #2 -Big Mouth"



MOUSSE: What's Monsieur Picolet doing here?



Despite his 'human' instincts, Meowth went on seeing Meowthy everyday. He began teaching her to talk, and she learned like a good pupil. Meowthy was caught for this purpose. Her main objective would one day be to kill Meowth,



SHAMPOO: She brought up by Miss Havisham?



yet, after spending so much time with him, she wasn't so sure she wanted to anymore.

Meowthy was trained to be evil.



VEGETA: Should I freak out over this, or not?

ANGIE: Let's wait and see if she says anything more like it, then you can.



After her lessons with Meowth, Meowthy would return to Bloody Mary for intense training on being a real Team Rocket



MOUSSE: . . . singer.

VEGETA: Meowthy sings Rosinni's "Duet for Two Cats" quite well.



killer. She was learning from the best,



SHAMPOO: Bloody Mary often kill flies, she the best.



and she had a home. But Meowthy wasn't happy. She was only living to kill another of her kind. Not only one of her kind, but one she was growing rather fond of.



ANGIE: I wonder if human assassins have the same troubles as Meowthy.

VEGETA: Which is more human, here's a Meowth now you decide.

SHAMPOO: "Nikita" flashback . . .



The first time she met Meowth, she had been given the job to seduce Meowth and wrap him around her finger. Meowthy had done that willingly,



MOUSSE: <sings> Pussy cat, pussy cat, you're so willing . . .



knowing her full objective. Then she thought back on it.



ANGIE: <Meowthy> Was it really necessary for me to eat that whole thing?



What she was doing seemed wrong.



ALL: Duhhhhh . . .



But she wasn't going to object! Bloody Mary would kill her!



VEGETA: I think that ANYone would die if they drink too many Bloody Maries.



Meowthy wanted to live. She was only supposed to think about herself, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: Even scene change interest wavering.



A week after Raye's interpretation of her dream, Serena decided to tell Darien about it. She knew she shouldn't put anymore weight on his shoulders than he already had,



MOUSSE: Oh, yes, learning how to be social while in college really takes a lot out of a person.



but what if he really was in danger? What if someone was out to kill him? Or worse?



VEGETA: What the hell is worse than being killed?

ANGIE: <Usagi/Serena> Or worse! He could DIE! Gasp!



Serena stood at the doorway of Darien's apartment. She held up her hand to knock, but brought it down again.



MOUSSE: She wasn't *Sure*. <snicker>



Why couldn't she do it? She had told Darien many things before. Now, she couldn't warn him to be careful?



SHAMPOO: To stop cliff climbs?



How silly!



VEGETA: How completely stupid of her! Wow, did she feel REALLY dumb!



She smiled,



MOUSSE: I guess I would be smiling, too, that Darien is about to die.



knowing she was only protecting him,



ANGIE: And making him panic and worry about the future.



and knocked. Darien answered and greeted her with a smile.

"Come on in, Serena!"

"Darien...About that dream I had..."

Darien cringed as if he were in pain. "Please, Serena!" he shouted.

"Darien?" Serena stepped back. Darien usually never rose his voice to her.



VEGETA: Unless if he were dead drunk.



Serena's eyes wobbled. "Darien, I'm trying to help us..."



SHAMPOO: <Usagi/Serena> Me here just tell you me sex demon!

VEGETA: Okay, enough of that joke.

SHAMPOO: Tee-hee.



Darien saw that he had hurt her. His eyes softened. "I know you are. But I'm sure it's nothing."

"What?"



MOUSSE: Okay, here I go. -ahem- He said: "I KNOW YOU ARE!!!!! BUT I'M SUR--"

SHAMPOO: <with hand over his mouth> Mousse kill eardrums on own time? <he nods and she releases him>



"Please don't bring it up again."

Why was he acting so weird?



ANGIE: Geez!! Is it THAT hard for her to grasp!!!



Serena nodded sadly.



VEGETA: <Usagi/Serena> I was just trying to help you, I guess I brought that abuse upon myself.



Maybe he didn't want to believe anything bad like that was going to happen. Did he already know what the dream meant?



MOUSSE: A THREE year-old would know what that meant!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



ANGIE: Those are Usagi's brain waves . . . see how they barely make a curve?



Meowthy approached Meowth that night, same as every night. This was the night! This was when she was going to get the information she needed...The information to



SHAMPOO: . . . make real good stew!



destroy Jessie! She walked out to the tree, the place where she and Meowth first met. Meowth was there waiting for her.

"Hello, Meowth."

Meowth looked up and smiled.



VEGETA: <Meowth> Hello, soon to be mate!



"Meowthy-chan!"



MOUSSE: Mmm, I don't know. Did adding that suffix to Meowthy's name make it less, or more, dumb?



he exclaimed. He ran up and hugged her.

Meowthy's eyes narrowed.



ANGIE: <Meowthy> You little-- Get your hands offa there!



"How about we put teaching aside for one night?"

"Huh?" Meowth gulped. "What'dya mean?"

She wrapped her tail around him.



ALL: Yech.



"Oh, I think you know very well what I mean," Meowthy purred. "We need to talk..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mary and Jack were walking through the halls of Team Rocket HeadQuarters.



SHAMPOO: Whole building made of quarters with heads facing in.



Destination;



VEGETA: Impossible . . . No, wait, that's MISSION . . .



Cafeteria. They were going to try James again.



MOUSSE: Omigod! The cooks killed James and made him into a meat loaf!

VEGETA: It was disgusting at first when they learned who they were eating, but they decided it was too good to waste.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...About your masters."



ANGIE: <Meowth> But I have only one master, the Boss.

OTHERS: Boo, hiss.

MOUSSE: Oh, wait, GIOVANNI, not ROB.

SHAMPOO: Shimatta, why we keep forgetting that?



"My masters?" Meowth questioned. "You mean Jessie and James?



VEGETA: That musta been cold water on the gro--

ANGIE: Vegeta . . .

VEGETA: Gomen . . .



Dey aren't my REAL masters. I'm my own master!"

"That's all well and good," Meowthy said. "I've always loved a Pokémon who could look out for himself." Meowth blushed. "But I want to talk about those two anyway."

Meowth groaned. "Why dem? Dose two are idiots! Numbskulls! Dere's many other stuff we can talk about."



MOUSSE: <Meowth> Like, how do they get those little red things into those green olives.

SHAMPOO: <Meowth> Or how they get the nuts in shells.



"No," Meowthy hissed. Meowth was shocked.



ANGIE: A woman defying a man? <Karigari> She must be *punished*



He'd never heard Meowthy with this tone of voice before. "It must be about them..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: Oh, poor scene change line, it must be cold, it's shivering.



The cafeteria wasn't that crowded.



SHAMPOO: No one like be around when James eat. He might eat them.



In fact, there were only about ten stragglers present. What luck!



ANGIE: <sings> Joxer the Mighty! He roams through the countryside, he never needs a place to hide!

OTHERS: What the . . .

ANGIE: Vegeta said no singing Lucky Lucky, so I'll keep singing Joxer's Song.

VEGETA: Okay, sing that again and I'll rip out your vocal cords, 'kay?



Jessie and James happened to be there.

Mary looked at Jack. "You take care of Jessie. Get her out of here quick."



MOUSSE: <Mary> French her, then run like the dickens.

SHAMPOO: Jack then get confused and brings baguette and speak French.



"Gotcha," Jack sneered. He ran up to Jessie and grabbed her arm. "Hey! The Boss wants to talk to you now!" James was about to get up and join his partner. "Not you," Jack said hurriedly. "Just Jessie."

"What's going on here?" James demanded,

"Hurry!" Jack said. He began to drag the reluctant Jessie out of the cafeteria.



ANGIE: I would be reluctant, too. The Boss wants to see ME alone and beforehand he had been sucking on a cigar . . .



James tried to run after her, but Mary immediately stepped in front of him.

"Hi, James!"

"Not now, Mary!" a wiser James growled. "I have to find Jessie. And anyway, I don't talk to trash!"



ALL: GASP!

SHAMPOO: James too nice! He never say THAT!

ANGIE: <sobs> Oh, I'm scarred for life!

MOUSSE: <dully> The innocence of life is no more . . .

VEGETA: Don't you guys think you're overreacting a bit?

SHAMPOO: Vegeta right! It fanfic! Not real James!

ANGIE & MOUSSE: <cheered> That's right!



He pushed her out of his way



ANGIE: Oh jeez, right into the clam dip . . .



and started walking away. Something hit him in the back of the head.



MOUSSE: <James> What the hell? A snowball? Where'd she get THAT?



Everything went black.



VEGETA: Musta been an ice ball.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meowth was confused.



SHAMPOO: How you play Magic?



What was Meowthy getting at? What did she want?



ANGIE: A Scooby Snack? What?



"What'cha wanna know?"

Meowthy took the direct approach.



MOUSSE: <Meowthy> How does Jessie keep her hair in that style, and is blue James' natural hair color?



"I want to know about Jessie's past life on the Moon Kingdom!"

"What da...? How da hell did you know about dat?"



SHAMPOO: <Meowth as James> You trash!

OTHERS: <snicker>



"Tell me!" Meowthy screamed. She flipped Meowth onto his back. Her claws dug into his chest. "I'll kill you."



VEGETA: <Meowthy> I'll take away your charm and never give it back! Nyanya!



"Meowthy, what's wrong with you, tonight?"



ANGIE: He was asking what was wrong with Meowthy *and* tonight?



A row of claws slashed him across the face.



MOUSSE: <James and Jessie> There how does THAT feel? Not too good, right? So stop doing it!



"Meowthy..." The other side. "Please..." Again and again she slashed him.

"Talk, you idiot! You can talk! Tell me!" Meowthy had no idea why she was doing this herself.



SHAMPOO: The author had no good day and decided to take it out on Meowth.



She kept scraping Meowth's face.



ANGIE: <exaggerated> Meowth's BEAUTIFUL face!



As she did, she began to cry. "TELL ME BEFORE YOU DIE!" Meowth suddenly fell limp.



VEGETA: Oops, the stunt dummy got a flat . . .



He didn't move. Meowthy stopped slashing him. "Meowth...?" She got off of him and sat at his side. "Meowth-chan...Meowth...MEOWTH!" She shook him.



MOUSSE: <Meowthy as mother> C'mon honey, time for school.



"Get up!" What had she done?



ANGIE: She was only trying to give him a nice massage!



Why did she do this to the Pokémon she loved?



SHAMPOO: Ah, age old question: Why we hurt ones we love?



"If you had only told me. I wouldn't have had to do that..." She fell over and began to sob.



VEGETA: It IS kinda hard to talk when blood is splurting out your mouth.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jack, what's going on?" Jessie said, yanking her arm free. She stood there and crossed her arms.

Jack turned around and smiled evilly at her. "You don't know anything."

Jessie glared at him. "What do you mean?"

"You're just as ignorant as your boyfriend!" Jack laughed.



MOUSSE: <Jack, laughing> Oh, sorry, I just thought of a funny blond man joke that I had heard and-- hey! I'M blond!



"Soon, you won't need to worry about it. The Rockets Five know everything..."



ANGIE: This is the perfect place for Jessie to panic and run away screaming in bloody horror.



He drew his arm back to punch her, but Jessie was too quick. She grabbed him by the arm and flung him to the ground. She stepped on his stomach hard.



VEGETA: <Jessie> Did your mom never tell ya to hit girls?

SHAMPOO: <Jack> Woah, you a GIRL?



"Damn you! What are you talking about?"

Jack said nothing, but continued grinning madly.



ANGIE: What, is he a relative of the Mad Hatter?

MOUSSE: That's actually quite scary.



Jessie dug the heel of her boot into his gut.



VEGETA: Which didn't hurt Jack much, since he has the biggest beer gut you'd ever seen in your whole life.



Jack still didn't reply.



SHAMPOO: Jessie breaking his diaphragm! Me no able to talk either.



Jessie released him and allowed him to stand. Jack brushed himself off. "You'll know soon enough."

"I see," Jessie said. She started walking away and was punched in the back by Jack. He laughed and ran off.



ANGIE: Then Jessie spun around and blasted him to Kingdom Come with her bazooka.



Jessie fell on the ground in pain. It was obvious Mary and her brothers were out to kill.



MOUSSE: Then why did you let Jack go, you dolt!



It was a good thing James... "James!" Jessie exclaimed. She had forgotten he was left alone in the cafeteria with Mary. She picked herself up off the ground



VEGETA: . . . set her spine back in the right spot . . .



and started running and limping back to the cafeteria.



ANGIE: I dunno, if you get punched in the back, do you limp afterwards?

SHAMPOO: Stand up, let Shampoo try on you.

ANGIE: No, that's fine, maybe later.

SHAMPOO: Okay.

VEGETA: No, go do it to KASEY.

SHAMPOO: Why?

VEGETA: No reason, just do. <snicker>

<Jaimielée's note: If you remember from the No-Life Sailors, Kasey has a VERY weak spot in the back, one touch and she's DOWN.>

<Maelstrom's note: And if anyone ever attempts this on me, I shall hunt them down and personally rip out their hearts, thank you.>

<Jaimielée: Maelstrom's so lovable, ain't she?>



When she entered, everyone was gone.



MOUSSE: It was just as she feared. Without her there to check his appetite, he ate everyone!



"James..." she cried. Tears feel down her cheeks. He was in trouble.



ANGIE: Actually, he was back in his room having a nice nap-nap.



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: I'm just too lazy, I'd never be able to climb back up today.



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 9 -"Awakening"



SHAMPOO: . . . to fact you are complete loser hurts.



James...James...Get up, James."



MOUSSE: <voice> You're in school, James . . . without any clothes on, James . . .



James' eyes fluttered.



ANGIE: . . . away. Oh, how sad.



"Jessie...?" He opened his eyes fully and found himself face-to-face with Bloody Mary.



VEGETA: <James> Aaaah! My nightmare came true!



He uttered an appalled gasp.



MOUSSE: <James> Jesus, how drunk WAS I?



Mary smiled as she walked around the tied-up James. Her weapon was slung over her shoulder. She giggled. "And how are you, James, dearest?"



SHAMPOO: <sob> Me scared as to what going to happen!

<Mousse once again tries to comfort her, but instead she cowers against Angie and he smacks his head on the armrest, his glasses falling off. He swears something not nice and begins to search.>



"Dearest?" he yelled. "I don't like you, Mary!" He turned away from her.



ANGIE: <James, exaggerated> You TRASH!

OTHERS: <snicker>



Mary giggled again, walking around and meeting James in the eyes again.



ANGIE: Okay, 'nother Joxer flashback, only this involves CALLISTO.

VEGETA: James is Joxer, Mary is Callisto?

ANGIE: Yeah, and Callisto was scary.

MOUSSE: <dramatically, but from the floor> Then a bunch of rocks fell from above and crushed Mary! The end. No? Oh . . .

SHAMPOO: "Meet in eyes again"? Must be on face of giant dinosaur. Or me confused with DragonBall?



"I know," she said. Then she took his chin with her free hand. "But I like you, and there's nothing that can be done about that, is there."



ANGIE: Then Joxer, quite by accident, kicks her in the face, knocks her chakram -er- mace loose, and cuts the ropes, escapes, and only trips three times back to Jessie/Gabby.

MOUSSE: <finding glasses and putting them back on> Then he is shot with an arrow, disappears, sets up a couple of chariots for Giovanni/Xena and Callisto to race in, and compete in a totally useless, but time-killing, chariot fight.

ROB: There WAS a reason for that chariot fight!!!!

ANGIE: I think you just couldn't think of a more decent way to get rid of Callisto.

ROB: Stop it with the Xena bashing and return to your torture-- Imean, REVIEWING.



James' eyes narrowed and he jerked his head back. "Maybe not, but you're not gonna change me. I've figured out your little plan and I will NEVER help you hurt Jessie."



SHAMPOO: <Mary> Hahahahaha! Too late, me already build roller coaster! Hahahah!

VEGETA: <Mary> You won't even help me hurt her if I give you a box of *donuts*?

ANGIE: <James> Force . . . too . . . strong . . . I'LL HELP!



"You're so cute when you're angry!" Mary squealed. She pushed James a little



MOUSSE: <imitates sound of James shouting in surprise then the sound of a chair falling>



and stood back up,



ANGIE: Creeeeeeeeeeeeaak~



walking away from him. I think you'll change your mind when you see what I have in store for you,"

"You can do what you want with me, Mary, but I won't falter."

Bloody Mary turned around and looked at him. "You? Who said I was going to do anything to you?"

"Huh?"



VEGETA: And James' brain kicks in!



James saw where Mary was standing. He also took this opportunity to look at his surroundings. They seemed to be in an old warehouse that was probably used for sawing lumber.



SHAMPOO: In back, can hear old American cartoon bad guy laugh as blonde damsel in distress scream for help as she strapped to log and led toward saw . . .



There were a few scary looking saws and many axes. Now, the place seemed to be abandoned.



MOUSSE: And the dangerous, can-kill utensils are left behind.



He looked back at Mary.



ANGIE: That, my friends, was one of Sam Raimi's famous 360º camera shots. He must be directing this.



She was standing before a large, magenta curtain. Above her was a golden cord. She winked, took the cord in her hand and yanked down on it. The curtain opened.

"James, this is behind door number one!"



VEGETA: <Mary> It's agent Number Two!

SHAMPOO: Young or old Number Two?

VEGETA: Young, he's more handsome.



"MEOWTH!" Dangling by a rope was a half-dead Meowth. His coin was broken in half and his eyes were both black-eyes. Across his stomach were large slashes, almost like other claw marks. His fur was matted with blood and dust.



MOUSSE: <James> Gee, thanks, Mary, for saving me and Jessie the trouble of killing him!

ANGIE: I think that was THE MOST descriptive paragraph we've had in this entire fanfic.

SHAMPOO: Ack! Remind me of Stephen King's "Needful Things!" Poor doggy!

(this time she crowds onto Mousse, who is quite pleased by this.)



James' eyes widened and began to tear up at the sight of this. "Meowth-chan..."

Meowth opened one of his black-eyes. He seemed to smile at the sound of James' voice. "James...You're alright."



VEGETA: <James> And you look like shi---

ANGIE: No strong swearwords!

VEGETA: <James, uncertain> K-kuso?

ANGIE: Oh, great, NOW people will know what that means.

VEGETA: Gomen . . .



James glared at Mary. "What the Hell did you do to him?"



SHAMPOO: <Mary> Me give him nice bath-- WHAT DO YOU THINK ME DO TO HIM!



"That's door number two!" Mary exclaimed.

A small Pokémon stepped out of the shadows.



MOUSSE: . . . and into the Light . . .



It was Meowthy. She looked dark and both her eyes were reddened from crying. "Meowthy..."

"Who...?" James asked. A girl Meowth?"

Meowth looked down at Meowthy with his opened-eye. It was cold and hard. "She's not a girlfriend, James. Dat's for sure."

Meowthy looked up at him, her large eyes wobbling.



ANGIE: If they don't stop doing that, they'll fall out of her skull.



"I'm so sorry, Meowth-chan," she sobbed. "But it was my duty!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: If only I had a raft, then I'd be able to row myself outta here.



Jessie ran as fast as she could. She had never run so fast in her life.



SHAMPOO: <Jessie> How hell wild wolves get in here?



She headed down the hall and burst into her room. James wasn't there. She checked his room, but he wasn't there either. One by one, Jessie checked the four Rocket Brother's rooms. No sign of James. Then she came to the middle door. He had to be in Mary's room. She placed her hand on the knob and turned. Locked. No matter. Nothing would keep her from James! She backed far away from the door then rammed into it with full speed.



MOUSSE: -CRACK!- <Jessie> Oh dear Lord, my shou-oulder!!! Stupid idea! Stupid idea!



The door broke open.

"MARY!" Jessie yelled. "Hand over MY James!" She looked around. There was no Mary or James. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Where is he?"



ANGIE: <Jessie> Dammit, James! I'm feeling NEEDY!!!!!



Laughter was heard behind her.



VEGETA: <Jessie> Damn elves, they can't leave me alone.



Jessie swung around and was face-to-face with Jack, Zack, Mack, and Tack. They all grinned at her.

"Looking for Lover-boy?" Zack asked.

"More like Loser-boy!" Jack laughed. The others joined him in laughing.



SHAMPOO: Jessie did, too, 'coz it so true!



Jessie glared at them, her eyes full of hate.



MOUSSE: <Jessie> Hold on a sec, I got hate in my contacts and I can't see a bloomin' thing.



"Where's James?" she asked roughly. They continued to laugh. She closed her eyes and clenched her fist. "TELL ME!" she screamed. She swung her arm and hit Zack, knocking a tooth out of him.



ANGIE: <Zack> Gee, thanks! That one was going rotten and we couldn't afford to pull it out!



The other brothers gasped. The twenty-year old man looked at the tooth on the ground. Then up at Jessie, who continued to stare him down. "What the f*** was that for?"

Jessie smirked. "Oh, such language shouldn't be said to a girl."



VEGETA: What's so bad about f***? <Mousse whispers to him> Ohhhhh, I see.



"You're no girl," Mack said. "You're a monster..."



MOUSSE: As it turns out, Gabby was actually her evil daughter Hope and she sicced her blue, spiked son on them.

ROB: What'd I say about Xena riffs?

MOUSSE: Gomen nasai, Robu-san . . .



Jessie grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Me? You're saying I'm the monster? What's with you and that God-awful sister of yours, huh?



SHAMPOO: <Mack> It inbreeding.



Why are you guys trying to get rid of me? You dare call me a monster when the likes of you five are worse than demons in Hell?"



VEGETA: <Brothers> Now, that was harsh . . .



At this, the other brothers leapt at her and pinned her to the ground. Mack got up and brushed himself off. Jack held the back of Jessie's neck. He squeezed hard, choking her. "Don't mess with us, Jessie. You're finished. It doesn't matter what Power you have inside of you, you shall never beat us."

Jessie coughed.



MOUSSE: And the smell of her breath alone backed them off.



Her face was starting to turn blue.



SHAMPOO: For added torture, they stuff C-ko's, Akane's and Lum's cooking down throat.



She couldn't breathe or move. There was no way to loosen herself or hit one of the brothers. She was on her stomach. Her heart began to beat slower and slower.



ANGIE: That little boy-Druid musta moved off from Herc and is now training Gabby!

(a shoe drops from above and clunks her in the head. She starts bawling.)

ROB: Anymore Xena jokes, and a shoe will fall onto your head.



Jessie felt herself weakening every second. She tried to scream, but nothing was there.



MOUSSE: Meanwhile, Giovanni is watching this from the back.

VEGETA: <Giovanni as Professor Farnsworth> I guess I should do something, but I already AM in my pajamas . . . -snore!-



The brothers all were laughing at her. She could see their dark faces smiling, their mouths wide and teeth gleaming. THEY were the monsters!



ANGIE: <in British accent> And the animator suffered a heart attack and thus the monsters disappeared.



Jessie remembered the night before with James,



SHAMPOO: Please, no tell.



wrapped in each other's arms.



SHAMPOO: No no!



A tear ran down Jessie's cheek.



VEGETA: <Conan O'Brien> A lone tear . . .

MOUSSE: You like that joke, don't you?

VEGETA: Conan rules mighty!!!



"James-sama..." she managed to breath out, although it was barely audible.



ANGIE: What an odd suffix to use when remembering boinking your boyfriend.



She had to give up. It was time to go now.



SHAMPOO: Time to punch out card.



There was nothing to be done. Her air-supply



MOUSSE: Oh! That's a great riff, but I can't think of one of their songs! Oh! Oh! Damn!



was gone. Jessie's eyes rolled and she passed on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What? Huh?" Jessie's voice echoed all around her. She seemed to be floating in a black void,



VEGETA: AGAIN!

ANGIE: Oh, no! Are we reading Rocket Princess I again?



almost like space. She was in her Princess Jessica outfit, the band around her forehead. "I must be dead." she thought aloud.

"Jessica..."

Princess Jessie looked up. In front of her was a glowing light. "Mother?"



SHAMPOO: Oh-ho, it rude light.



"Yes," the Light nodded. "I am Queen Jessica."



MOUSSE: And I am Mousse.

VEGETA: What was the point of introducing yourself, we already know who you are.

MOUSSE: Exactly the point I was making to Queen Jessica there.



It floated over to Princess Jessie. "You gave up so easily."

Jessie looked down. "I couldn't do anything."

The Light looked angry. "Yes you could have!



ANGIE: Actually, no. It IS kinda hard to move when you can't breathe. Jessica told me when this one friend of hers put her hand over her mouth and nose by accident while playing around, and yanked her head back, and she couldn't breathe and she couldn't move out of the grasp, even though it wasn't that hard and strong. And Kasey had to pull the girl's hand off, she said Jessica was turning purple.

SHAMPOO: If that hurt Captain Jessica and it play, imagine having windpipe crushed and it not play.

MOUSSE: Jessie was right, there was NOTHING she could do!



You still can," it shouted. "You are my daughter. You have Powers beyond your wildest dreams. You haven't discovered them all yet."



VEGETA: Apparently, Jessica hadn't either, 'coz she really did no good during the fight against Queen Beryl in the Past.



The Princess looked confused. "Powers? Like Serena?" She looked at her gloved hands. They didn't look special.

"They're not from here," Queen Jessica laughed as she took her daughter's hands. "It's in here." She placed Jessie's hands on her own heart.



ANGIE: <Jessie> No, I wasn't thinking THAT. I was thinking, "Powers like Serena? Do I REALLY want those?"



"My heart..."



SHAMPOO: <sings, exaggerated> . . . will go on! <shoe drops on her head> Ow! What that for! That no Xena joke!

ROB: I don't like Titanic very much, either.



Princess Jessie whispered. The band around her forehead fell off and the Crescent Moon beneath it glowed brilliantly. "I see!" she smiled. She then let out a blood-curdling scream.



MOUSSE: <Jessie> This power HUUUUUURTS!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack's eyes widened. "What th...? NO!" The brothers were thrown aside. They bounced as they hit the wall hard.



ALL: Sproiiiiiing~!



Jessie's eyes shot open.



ALL: Kapow! Ping~!



The Crescent Moon on her head glowed with a blinding light.



ALL: <imitate the sounds of a fluorescent light> fzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~



"You can't finish me yet!" She stood up and faced the cowering brothers. "You all will die!"

"No!" they all screamed. Tack lunged for the door and opened it. He ran outside and the brothers followed him.

Jessie stood there. The light on her forehead dimmed and soon disappeared.



ALL: fooshhhhhhh~



The Crescent Moon also faded.



VEGETA: . . . in time, with help of Noxima.



She smiled a little.



ANGIE: Then Jessie said, "God, I LOVE doing that!"



"I couldn't leave everything yet." Then, she darted out the door in search of her love.



SHAMPOO: Ja, she bounce back from death mighty quick.



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



MOUSSE: Look! Keri Strugg is running up to vault the horse!



Chapter 10 -"Mary's Plan Takes Action"



VEGETA: "Mary's Laxative Takes Action"



Darien drove his car along a small winding road. Serena boredly stared out the window.

"Are we there yet?" she whined.

"Serena, you've been asking that every ten minutes."

"But I'm starving, and I really have to go to the bathroom!"



ANGIE: <Usagi/Serena> Whoops, never mind . . .

OTHERS: ANGIE!!!!

ANGIE: <blushes>



"It's a long way to the Museum of Tokyo."



SHAMPOO: Even though they LIVE in Tokyo.

MOUSSE: Well, Tokyo IS a big city.

SHAMPOO: Then why they not take bullet train? That take them there in snap.

MOUSSE: I dunno! Probably because they're complete morons?



Serena groaned. "I don't see why we're going to see a boring old museum anyway."

"You know certainly well why," Darien scolded.



ANGIE: <Mamoru/Darien> You purposefully left Usa there, lied and said she went home! She's been in there for TWO years now!



"I'm thinking of getting a part-time job there and I need to check it out.



ALL: <snicker>

SHAMPOO: That sad.



You also need something to take your mind off this dream you had. There isn't a reason to be freaked-out over something



ANGIE: <Dexter Douglas, squeaky> Oohhh, freak out!



when you don't even know what it means."



SHAMPOO: Hundredth time, Usagi sex demon!!!!



Again, the blue-eyed girl grumbled to herself. Then she turned to Darien. "If you're not scared about it, then why do you cringe and act real nervous whenever I try to bring it up?"



MOUSSE: Well, his parents WERE killed by falling off a cliff, and he lost his memory 'coz he fell off the cliff, so having him hang off a cliff in your dream MAY scare him a little.



"I don't act nervous."

"Yes, you do!" Serena protested. "Raye knows what it means and I believe her. Something bad is gonna happen to you and Jessie."

"Darien pulled his car over to the side of the road and parked it. He unbuckled his seatbelt



VEGETA: . . . and got out of the car, and pushed it over the edge of the cliff.



so he could look at Serena face-to-face. "Serena, I'm telling you this one last time. There is nothing to be scared of! You had a bunch of donuts



ANGIE: Which were originally onigiri in the Japanese version.



the day before you had that dream. Eating many sweets before bedtime can give you nightmares."

MOUSSE: And so can sock puppets.

OTHERS: Uh-huh.



"But I ate them in the morning. They were breakfast pastries..."

"Not another word," Darien said holding up his hand.



SHAMPOO: Eeek! He gonna smack Usagi!

VEGETA: Go! Go! Go!



"We gotta go. I'm very late." He put his seatbelt on again and turned the ignition key.



ANGIE: He then realized that he hadn't turned off the car before hand, and that he was grinding the gears and flooding the engine.



The car wouldn't start. "Oh, give me a break!"



MOUSSE: Urge too strong to sing candy bar jingle . . .

SHAMPOO: Hold strong, Mousse!



Darien growled. "Not now!"

Serena watched him. She started giggling. "Darien, your foot's still on the brake..."

Darien looked down at his feet. "So it is..." he said. "I knew that!" Before long they were on the road again. The two were laughing at the car-incident.



VEGETA: They were laughing because there was NO WAY Usagi coulda known that pressing on the brake while turning the engine wouldn't start it.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Up the road, a car swerved from left to right. Inside were many people laughing and drinking. They paid no attention to the road, nor the cars in front of them.



ANGIE: Oh-no! Not a drinking while driving warning commercial!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Serena smiled. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," Darien said. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"That's okay." Serena continued looking out at the road. She saw an old car heading straight toward them. "Darien!"

Darien also saw the car. "What are those idiots doing?" The car kept coming closer. Darien tried moving, but the lanes were very small.



SHAMPOO: As should be, to build tension.



Right beside the car was a fence which prevented people from falling off the cliff they were driving on.



MOUSSE: <snicker> A CLIFF? What, does CTR think Usagi-tachi live in Nerima or something and they are leaving to go to Tokyo?

ANGIE: They ARE going to the Museum of TOKYO why do the need to travel up to Fujiyama for?



"They're not even on the road.



VEGETA: <Mamoru/Darien> They're in the air, the hell?



They're going to ram into us!"

Serena screamed. The car zoomed faster and kept charging his car. "They're drunk," Serena yelled. "Get out of the way, Darien!"

"I'm trying!" Darien looked all around him for an escape route. He didn't want Serena endangered. It was no use. Darien swung his wheel to the left and crashed into the fence. The fence broke and his car tumbled over the side of the road.



SHAMPOO: So flying off cliff better than hit by car? Did Shampoo lose something?



Darien and Serena held each other tightly. They were done for.



ALL: Yay!!!

VEGETA: Does this mean we can leave?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are you going to do with Meowth?" James demanded.



VEGETA: Oh . . .

ANGIE: <Mary> I'm going to eat this soft-boiled TOGEPI in front of him! Hahahahah!



Mary walked back over to James. "That all depends on you, love. If you give us the information we need, Meowth won't get hurt anymore than he is. If you don't..." She then walked back over to Meowth and took her weapon with both hands. She got ready to swing it at him. Meowth cringed.



MOUSSE: <Mary> I will tenderize your li'l friend here!



"No!" shouted James. "Don't hurt Meowth!"

Meowth looked over at James sadly.



SHAMPOO: <Meowth> Let Meowth guess, you want kill Meowth yourself.



"Don't give her any information, James.



ANGIE: Double-o-zero!



No matter what she does to Meowth, you can't give in."



VEGETA: All of this just for info on Jessie's past? Kinda obsessive, don't you think?



James' eyes wobbled. "But Meowth, I don't want her to hurt you."

"If she doesn't hurt Meowth, she'll hurt Jessie."

Meowthy watched all this with tears in her eyes. What had she done? She never should have agreed to turn Meowth over to Mary. That was just cruel.



MOUSSE: She should've listened to her mother and married that lawyer.



"What's it gonna be, James?" Mary asked sweetly.

James looked from Meowth to Mary. He bit his lip and sighed. "Don't hurt Meowth. I'll tell you everything I know."

"It better not be about roller coasters."



SHAMPOO: <James> Shimatta, Mary see through James' plan!



"It won't be."

The injured Meowth glared at James. "You idiot! You're killing your girlfriend!"

James ignored him and turned back to Mary. He began spilling



ANGIE: . . . his guts? He's so desperate that he committed suicide?



out the whole story of the Moon Kingdom - Of Queen Serenity, Queen Jessica, the Princesses, the Sailor Scouts, Prince Endymion, and Queen Beryl.



VEGETA: Of how he stopped being a total wimp and finally became a man.



Although it had been two years since he had been in the Moon Kingdom Ruins, he remembered as if it were yesterday. A memory like that can never be forgotten, not even by idiots. He cried a little as he told his story,



MOUSSE: . . . for he was sitting on a large sliver of wood . . .



knowing he was endangering everyone, including Jessie. When James finished, he lowered his head. He could not look Meowth in the eyes.

Mary's eyes flashed red and she smiled evilly.



SHAMPOO: Ack! Dragon-snake in human form!

ANGIE: Lemme guess, another book?

SHAMPOO: Yes, Death Gate Series. Very good, Alfred funny, recommend you read, Jessica have all seven.



"So, this Prince Endymion is still alive?"

"Yes," James nodded.

She calculated everything in her head. If Mary could get Jessie and Darien together,



VEGETA: . . . for a big weenie roast . . .



then she could have James. Also, Serena would kill Jessie with her Sailor Moon Powers. She laughed. "Thank you, James. She then bent down and kissed him on the head.



MOUSSE: <Mary> Mmmm, Herbal Essence . . .

SHAMPOO: Thus begin complicated, useless storyline.

ANGIE: It took this WHOLE time to get to the main plot? Geez!



James grimaced. "Don't thank me," he sobbed. When Mary walked away, he muttered to himself, "Oh, ick!"



VEGETA: What the-- What the hell!

MOUSSE: <lol> Oh, what a great way to end a scene.

ANGIE: That was . . . I can't express it in words. After realizing he may have killed his girlfriend and quite a few people, all he can say is "ick" to a kiss on the head?

SHAMPOO: <tries to talk, but she is laughing too hard.>



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SHAMPOO: Even-- even lines find that funny. <giggling>



Darien's car lay in a heap on the ground. It was upside down and smashed. A small hand



ANGIE: . . . laid a hundred feet away, and a head lolled fifty feet away. Oh, the humanity!



reached out of a broken window. It grabbed a stick nearby and jammed it in the crack of one of the doors.



VEGETA: <owner of hand> Oh, great, now I just trapped myself in here.



Then it pulled it, using the stick like a crowbar.



MOUSSE: Then the stick snapped in half.



Slowly the door opened and the person belonging to the hand crawled out. It was Serena.



ALL: Scoff!



She coughed and, when out of the car, stood up. She brushed herself off and looked down at herself. Only minor injuries. A few cuts here and there, although her hair left something to be desired. She was lucky.



ANGIE: <sings> Joxer the Migh-- <bonk!> Ow!!! Stop it with the shoes, Rob!



Serena ran to the other side of the car and pulled open the door, allowing Darien to crawl free. He wasn't too bad either.



SHAMPOO: Iie, this wrong.

MOUSSE: It can't be!

VEGETA: They should've been hurt majorly if they fell off a cliff.

ANGIE: It was GREAT TREE'S doing!

SHAMPOO: Have not heard from him for bit.



"I can't believe we're still alive," Serena whispered. Where are we?"

The two glanced around. They were in a big canyon.



MOUSSE: Canyons in Tokyo?



Beside them was s huge building. Darien walked over to the side of it. "It's a factory."

Serena walked around the front of the iron building. She suddenly gasped and called Darien over to her. "It's not a factory..." She pointed up to the top of the doors. A big, red 'R'



VEGETA: For "revolting" . . .



towered above them. "This is Team Rocket Head Quarters!"



ANGIE: <whistles loudly> ILLEGAL MOVE!

SHAMPOO: What they do, fall into portal after driven off by drunks?!

MOUSSE: <in caring voice> Remember, drinking and driving is wrong. You may crash into a building, hit a pedestrian, or drive someone into a portal.

ALL: <harmonizing> The More You Know!



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: <announcer voice> Be confused all over again!



______________________________________________________________________________



(all wait for chapter 11 to pop up, but after a couple of minutes, the screen saver of flying toasters comes on)

VEGETA: What's going on? It couldn't have ended THERE.

ANGIE: <turning around in seat> Helllllo~h! Camharpy?

SHAMPOO: Monster-bird not there? <turns in seat, too>

ANGIE: She's not answering.

MOUSSE: Yaa! Yaa! Answer!

ANGIE: <picks up phone> I'll call and--Ahhhhh!

(Kasey enters the theater, scaring Angie. From her shadow, it looks as if she's wearing a hat and a veil.)

KASEY: C'mon you guys, you're late for the funeral! That's why we stopped the fanfic!

(grabs Angie's arm and pulls her out, the others following.)

MOUSSE: Who died? Ranma, I hope. <konk!> Ow, Shampoo! I was just kidding!

(all exeunt)



~*~*~*~*~*~



All of the crew of the SoD were gathered at the garbage chute in Room 7. Everyone was dressed in black, either wearing something formal that was black, or something not formal, but black. For a funeral, everyone looked pretty restless and annoyed. There was only one person crying, and that was Kasey, a veil over her face, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wore a black blouse, black jeans and a black T-shirt. Beside her was a snoring Angie, in a black wolf pattern shirt, leaning on Bardok, who was in his black armor, naturally. Then there was Cleo with the others cats, wearing black capes that Kasey forced them to wear. Al the other animals of the SoD wore the black capes, too. On her other side was Jessie, wearing a short, black dress, James, wearing a black suit, and hanging onto his arm was Jessica, with her new short haircut, and in a black tank top and jeans. She appeared quite cheerful, for a funeral.

"Dearly beloved," Kasey began, pressing her hands together. "We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a dearly departed, who's life was wrenched from her violently, thanks to JESSICA!" She glared at her.

Sighing, Jessica stuck out her tongue and shouted, "You're overreacting! 'She' wasn't even that important!"

"Silence, ingrate!" Kasey exclaimed. The brunette snapped her mouth shut and rolled her eyes, James looking a bit worried at the other captain. "How could you say that to one of your closest friends!"

Taking a deep breath, it seemed as if Jessica was trying to calm down, but instead she screamed, "KASEY! IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF HAIR!"

"The poor hair!" she keened.

"I got my hair cut short, live with it, Kasey! It'll grow back REAL soon! My hair grows really fast! It's not as if we cut YOURS!"

"Don't even think such ideas!" she gasped in horror. She resumed crying and held out her hand. "Now, hand me the wisp of Jessica's butchered hair."

There was a grunt, and the crowd parted so A-ko Magami, dressed in a dress similar to Jessie's, only tighter, could step through. She easily carried a small, iron barrel in her hands. She held it out to the Captain, who looked quite surprised. "Here ya go, Cap'n!"

Uttering a small noise of exclamation, Kasey held out her arms, grabbed the barrel, and A-ko slipped her hands out from underneath. "Erk!" Immediately, Kasey was jerked to the ground by the weight of the should-be-light barrel. "It's heavy," she murmured, in shock. Blinking, she asked angrily, "Okay, who snuck junk in here with Jessica's hair?"

James held out his hand and told her, "But that IS all her hair! It's filled with Jessica's hair!"

"Mm-mm!" the brunette cheerfully nodded. "I have A LOT of hair!"

Kasey's face blanked and a fang popped out of her mouth. "Freak," she muttered. "A-ko!" she said louder. "Come help me with the barrel!"

"Sure thing, Cap'n!" The flaming haired girl sauntered up, took hold of the barrel, and hefted it easily up as if it were full of feathers and not Jessica's numerous amount of hair.

Clearing her throat and straightening her jacket, Kasey opened the garbage chute airlock and A-ko slipped the barrel in. She shut the door, and recited as she pressed the jettison button, "Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust, I don't know the rest, so let's go to lunch."

"Amen!" everyone shouted, running off in all directions to get to the buffet that Satyr and his helpers had made for this funeral.

And that, my friends, is how Jessica's hair's funeral went. Fun, wasn't it?



______________________________________________________________________________



I had no clue on how to end that segment, so I did whatever. But, yes, me, Jaimielée, have cut my hair. It's summer, it gets REALLY hot in Idaho, (which is odd, one day it can be minus 32, the next 100 degrees and rising), so I cut it short like an anime guy's hair. But my hair DOES grow fast. Right now, the back of it I can already tie into a tiny ponytail, and it hasn't even been a month . . . has it? Oh, well, don't rely on my memory. By this winter, the back should be the length that it used to be and longer, but my bangs (sniffle) won't be back until a year in a half to a year. I loved my long bangs, but my mom's like, "If you cut them short, then you can drive the car to school in the morning!" No more having to ride the bus! No more having to get up at six in the morning! So I went for it. But the Jessica in the No-Life Sailors will keep the original hairstyle.

Anyway, this is where this part is ending. But chapters 11-20 will be up soon, in Episode 2 Part B. That is not to be an Episode 3, but still episode two. The title is the same and all. It was just too long . . . This alone is 105 pages! (4 short of the first one, which IS an improvement 'coz to chapter 10 it's over 21 pages, and RP1 was 21 pages, so . . ). Anyway, I'll go. Keep sending fanfics, send feedback, read my other two stories (the rest of Chapter 2 to the Search For Mewtwo should be up real soon!), go see the art and the episode tabs, but also go read all the other stories. Mine aren't the only good entertaining ones. (But with my ego, I like to think so.) Well, hold tight for part B, and for Ep 3, which is RP3, Ep 4 is an odd little story by my friend Amber (yes, the Amber from the No-Life Sailors ^_^), Ep 5 which are two of icecube's stories and 6 which is Snapshot by my generous friend, CTR! Ja ne!

______________________________________________________________________________





"We could have a lot of fun together, you and I..."

"Fun? As in a game of Marbles?"

Jessie was getting tired of this. She walked up to both of them and grabbed James by the collar. "Games are not what she meant by fun, James!"

"Oh, but there are MANY games that you can play with two people."

"Yeah!" James exclaimed. "I like 'Go Pokémon'!"



c 1999, Jaimielée Rocket & Maelstrom