"The Satellite of 'Dite,

the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"

By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom

Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!

Smut: Uh~ debated

Violence: Hm~ debated



"Episode Three: Rocket Princess III,

Jessica and Angie Get Lost,

Kasey Freaks,

and Cleo is Hit with Depression"

Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. "Rocket Princess" belongs to Chibi Team Rocket.

Quick Notes: The original review team is back! Yay! Jessica and Kasey are back with Angie and the ever tortured Vegeta. (I had fun with Mousse and Shampoo though, so expect them back sometime.)

A Big Thanks: Thank you Chibi Team Rocket! I'm so happy happy that you let me use your fanfics! And good news, she gave me the okey dokey to use "Snapshot!" Go read Snapshot!, it's pretty good, even though it stars Todd, who I affectionately call the "Conctipated One".

Format Notes: CTR, I'm gonna hafta make the format of RP 3 so that the paragraphs are together and with a indent because if I don't, then for every new paragraph there'll be triple spaces between riffs and that'll be icky, but other than that, it's all in the original, except for the riffs, of course. ^_^



~*~*~*~*~*~



Captain Jessica entered Room 7, having completed her "Captain duties" for the morning. She had a disgusted look on her face, and she held her hands out as if they were stained with something nasty. She came up to the Captains' Counter where Kasey was engaged in a scientific discussion with Karigari and Angie was lounging on Jessica's armchair, stroking Cleo. She stopped beside the two inventors, her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Kasey finally glanced up and sighed. She leaned on her arm and asked, "What's the matter with you?"

Jessica shuddered. "Today's my day for plumbing, and do you KNOW how many toilets get clogged with hundreds of people living in one place?"

"No, I'm glad to say I don't." She returned to a blueprint she and Karigari had been talking over. She added below her breath, but loud enough for her friend to hear, "I don't have plumbing duty until two years from now."

Jessica moaned and shook her hands, trying to get the imaginary grime off of it. She felt a tap on her arm and she looked down at Karigari. In Japanese with subtitles appearing and disappearing below him, the young scientist said, "That reminds me. Marie stuffed something down the toilet and now it's clogged. Go fix it?" Having told her that, he too returned to the blueprint. The brunette bared fangs at him then shuffled away and out a door.

"So," Kasey asked him, "you have two of these made so far?"

Karigari studied the blueprints carefully, and nodded. "Yes, I just finished them the other day. They are still untested, however, and I can't find anyone who would dare try it."

Suddenly, Angie sat up in the chair. "Hey, Karigari-kun." She dropped Cleo to the floor as she stood and walked over to them. "I'll do whatever you're talking about. I'm bored to death."

Kasey smirked and gave her a sidelong glance. "Where's your little boy-toy- Imean, BARDOK?"

Angie glared at her darkly and retorted, "He's on guard duty this week." She smiled again and turned to the black haired man. "So, can I?"

He gave her a look over, then nodded. "I think you could handle this experiment."

Her smile became even broader and then it disappeared as she asked, "What is the experiment?"

Karigari turned the blueprints that Kasey had drawn toward Jessica's cousin. "It's a helmet we designed that helps you survive out into space without using one of those bulky suits that hinder your movements. You have to wear these special pants, jacket, gloves, boots and a scarf, but that's about it. They feel just like regular clothes. To explain it would hurt your small brain, but basically the helmet helps your body to survive and recycles what you breathe out into oxygen."

"Oooooo," Angie breathed, her eyes wide. "That's coooool. It won't kill me?"

"We don't know," Kasey replied. "That's why we're trying it out. We believe Rob will allow us to use these to repair the ship, 'coz robots just aren't cutting it. Marie does well, but she can't do it all by herself. Karigari already made jet packs that work well, Marie tried them out in space."

"Why doesn't she test the helmet?"

"She's a robot," Karigari replied. "She doesn't need oxygen or much protection to survive out in space."

"Oh, well. Yeah, I'll try it, with the jet pack thingie. And I must be tethered to something, preferably Marie."

"Done!" Both Kasey and Karigari held out their hands and Angie shook them.

The man scratched his head and fixed his glasses, saying, "But first I should check for bugs or if Dr. Evil tampered with them. He gets jealous when someone that isn't him invents something. He's weird. Well, the test will be after lunch."

"But," Angie paused. "But what do I do till then?"

That's when the Comm Port began to ring. Camharpy fluttered over and turned it on just as Jessica entered the room again, ringing out her wet clothes. Rob Tapert appeared on the screen, but he wasn't grinning like he usually was when he called. He was in what seemed to be a sterile, pink building with people running back and forth holding onto Pokémon. "Konnichi wa, minna-san," he said in what little Japanese he knew, (in English dub, of course).

The reply was usual. " . . . hi . . ."

Jessica sat next to Kasey. "What happened to you?" the redhead asked.

"Marie stuffed a Teddy Bear down the pipe. Let's just say it's really hard to get something like that out."

"Hey," Angie called to Rob. "Where are ya?"

"Looks like a Pokémon Center," Brock replied, sitting at a table and playing shogi with Ash, who appeared to be really frustrated.

"That's where I am," he answered lowly.

"What's the matter, Robu-san?" Kasey asked, grinning cruelly.

"Persian was hurt pretty bad when he was fighting that Primeape." From the bar, Meowth began to laugh insanely. "Shut up!" Rob snapped. "Or you'll never be Top Cat again!"

Meowth immediately quieted. But then a thought struck him. "Hey, wait, I'm on a satellite an'---"

Rob interrupted him and said, "So, while I wait, I decided to amuse myself by sending you a new fanfic today."

"OH NO!!!!!" came the faint cry of Vegeta.

"That's right, my dear Saiyin," the TV producer finally smiled. "Rocket Princess III. I don't care who goes to read it, except one of them must be Vegeta. And Mousse can't go in, since he did me a favor and I promised he wouldn't have to go in."

There was a faint cry of, "Haha, monkey-boy!"

"Enjoy!" Rob waved goodbye and clicked off the Comm Port.

The fanfic sign went off. "So, who else should go?" Jessica said in thought, rubbing her chin.

"You are SO going to go with me!" Vegeta screamed as dashed past them, taking hold of Jessica, Kasey and Angie's shirts. "You got me into this mess in Rocket Princess I, you got out of it in Rocket Princess II, but you are going to read Rocket Princess III!"



~*~*~*~*~*~



(All enter, Vegeta takes the fourth seat, Jessica the third, Kasey the second and Angie the first.)

JESSICA: But Vegeta-kun, I've already read Rocket Princess III!

VEGETA: I don't care. You're reading it again. YOU were the one who grabbed me and forced me to read Rocket Princess I, the beginning of the end for me.

JESSICA: Oh, come now, the story isn't THAT bad. It's kinda sad and sweet.

KASEY: Makes me wanna puke.

JESSICA: That's 'coz you have bloody dreams and thoughts. You haven't read part three yet. You deserve to read it as well.

KASEY: That really made no sense.

JESSICA: I don't care!

ANGIE: At least that gives me a chance to do something until the experiment.

JESSICA: What experiment?

KASEY: Shush, here it comes.



Rocket Princess III - The Revenge of Tack



VEGETA: You think the spaz can pull it off?

OTHERS: No.



~By Chibi Team Rocket~



ANGIE: She's still calling herself "Squiggly Line Small Team Rocket Squiggly Line".



[Header Picture]

(removed for technical reasons, to see it go to TR Torture Chamber's fanart

or to Team Rocket Palace's Illustrations)



JESSICA: Look, it's Meowth and Meowthy. They're cute.

KASEY: Lookie lookie, Serenity-hime and Endymion. Notice how the mask is hiding his eyes.

ALL: (snicker)

VEGETA: Poor guy, I wonder still, is his eye there or not?

ANGIE: Look at James and Tack on the bottom. (James as C-ko) SCISSORS! I got scissors! Hehe! I win!

JESSICA: (Tack) Oh yeah, well I got a- a- stick of dynamite! Dynamite blows up scissors. I win!

KASEY: What are those black BLOBS in the background?

VEGETA: They have fighting ki!

ANGIE: They look like the Legendary Birds.

JESSICA: Ah, there's Moltres, Zapdos and Articuno. Where's Houo?

KASEY: Jessie's trying to pull of a Marilyn Monroe. Her skirt's flying dangerously up.

VEGETA: Looks like she's in dire need of a bra.

ANGIE: She never wears a bra anyway.

VEGETA: Oh yeah.

JESSICA: Why is she sweat dropping? Or is that a jewel? (takes off glasses and squints. Shrugs and puts them back on.)

KASEY: Why does she have a door knocker on the bridge of her nose?

ANGIE: Okay, one more picture riff-- ahem. Why is she wearing suspenders on her head? Are they there to support the massive bow on her back? Thank you!

VEGETA: Good one, Angie-chan.



[Chapter index, 1 to Epilogue]



VEGETA: Yay! More "Return to top" signs!



Prologue



KASEY: In a galaxy far, far away--

OTHERS: Shut up!

KASEY: (quietly) Sorry.



Once upon a time, a seventeen-year-old girl discovered she was a Lady-in-Waiting for the Moon Kingdom.



JESSICA: I thought she was a replacement for Serenity-hime if she ever died.



Two years later, the nineteen year old found out she was the Queen of the Star of the Moon.



ANGIE: She is the Queen of the Star of the Earth of the Pokémon Island of the Pikachu of the "R" of the Moon!



Four years have passed,



VEGETA: . . . since that summer day.

OTHERS: ???

VEGETA: It felt appropriate.



and the young woman of age twenty-three is about to embark on yet another journey.



KASEY: She's old enough to drink now.

OTHERS: Ohhh . . .



Her tale is full of comedy, suspense, adventure, friendship, and love.

Along with her partner, this woman will defeat a foe far greater than any foe she has ever faced before...A bunch of icky bugs.



JESSICA: Have you been watching Power Puff Girls lately, CTR?

ANGIE: All you need is a can of Raid, shouldn't be too hard.

KASEY: What if it's the Y2K bug?

JESSICA: Dammit, first AIDs, then depletion of the Ozone layer, El Nino, Monica Lewinsky and now Y2K!



The key to fame is Pokémon!



VEGETA: (Jessie) If only we can catch that damn Pikachu!



______________________________________________________________________________



KASEY: (little girl) C'mon, won't ANYone play jump rope with me?



Chapter 1 - "Hold Me Tight"



JESSICA: Not too tight, she may explode.



The morning sun shone brightly through Jessie's bedroom window. Jessie's eyes shot open



ANGIE: (imitates sound of shot gun)



and blinked a few times, getting used to the light. She stretched her arms over her head and then lay her hands on her waist. What a lovely morning, she thought. She grinned and closed her eyes again.

Before long she heard a noise at the door. She looked over to see James. "Good morning," he said, walking to her bedside, leaning over, and kissing her.

As she kissed him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down onto her bed. The two cuddled for the longest time.



VEGETA: (James) Mrs. Rocket, are you trying to seduce me?



"You know," Jessie said through kisses. "If we get caught, we'll be in hot water."



KASEY: I believe they need COLD water.



"I believe I already am," James laughed. He stopped and looked at her. "When I met you, I knew I would go over the deep end."

Jessie snickered. "By how do you mean?"

"Lots of ways," he sighed. "First in partnership, and then this whole Princess slash Queen stuff. You're pretty special."

"And you're no exception, my love."

They kissed again.



ALL: Shlurrrrrp.



Soon they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Jessie sat straight up. "Quick, James! Get under the covers."



JESSICA: (James) Ooooo, really?



James blushed. "What?"

"Just do it! You wanna get caught?" James ducked under her sheets and got down as flat

as he could. Jessie pushed herself up higher and smoothed out her hair and nightgown. "Ahem...Come in!"



ANGIE: (person at door) Sigh, are you trying to hide James in the covers AGAIN, Jessie? How often do we hafta tell you, he's a human thus he makes a LARGE lump in the covers.



A small white figure entered. "Meowth! Are you up yet?"

"Does it look like I'm asleep?" Jessie snarled. "What do you want?"

Meowth smiled. "I was looking for James..."

Jessie got a sweatdrop. "And why are you in here then?"

"Where else would he be than in your bed?



VEGETA: Augh, sick, are they insinuating they SLEEP together?

KASEY: Gee, Jessica, you sure are taking this nicely, whatwith your boyfriend sleeping with Jessie and all in these 'fics.

JESSICA: That's because I tape a tack on my palm, and whenever I feel the need to cry, fume or throw up, I clench my fist, thus distracting me with physical pain.



You can stop hiding him."

James popped his head out from the foot of Jessie's bed. "Hi!"

"You are an idiot," Jessie said.



ANGIE: (James) Well, YOU sleep with me.

JESSICA: (clenches fist)



Meowth grabbed James by his small strand of hair in front of his face with his paw. "Alright, James Bond, time to stop foolin' around and get ready. We got work to do."



VEGETA: (Meowth) Dr. No has something up his sleeve and we must stop him.



"Not more!" Jessie sighed. A little mushroom cloud popped out of her mouth. "It's Saturday."

"And you think dat dat means it's play day?" Jessie and James nodded with huge smiles on their faces. "Youse guys are disgusting."



KASEY: (Jessie and James) What? You little pervert, we were talking about CARTOONS!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Meowthy was wandering around in the cafeteria waiting for Team Rocket. Finally they came down.



JESSICA: All one thousand members of Team Rocket came down and ultimately trampled her.



It would be best if I told them, she thought to herself. I've been putting it off for a long time, but I don't think I can anymore. She ran to greet the trio.

"Meowth-chan!" she purred.

"Good morning, Meowthy," Jessie smiled, bending down and scratching Meowthy behind her ears.

"Hello Jessie-san and James-senpai!"



VEGETA: "Senpai"? Why is she calling James her elder? Or is she calling him her upperclassman?

"Hello," James said, still feeling a tad disappointed his Saturday morning had been disturbed.



ANGIE: (James) Dammit, I wanna watch my Pepper Anne!

JESSICA: Don't forget, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is on Saturday mornings as well.

ANGIE: Nice plug.

JESSICA: Yours was handled quite well, too, Angie-chan.

"I need to talk to you guys," Meowthy said. Her speech had much improved over the past four years, since the first time she met them.

"Can we talk over breakfast?" James said, rubbing his stomach.

"Uhh...Of course, James-senpai..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



KASEY: First for breakfast, James eats a pool full of miso soup . . .



James sat down to a hearty meal of scrambled eggs, bacon, a stack of pancakes, a glass of orange juice, a bowl of Fruity Pebbles, an apple, and two pieces of buttered toast. Jessie just had some plain oatmeal. Meowth and Meowthy sat on the table alongside them. "So," James began during bites of food. "What did you wanna talk to us about?"

Meowthy wrung her paws together. "Well, Meowth and I have known each other for a while now..."

Jessie nodded and swallowed a spoon-full of her breakfast.



VEGETA: (Jessie) Hmmm, banana is the best . . . -slurp!-



"Yeah?" Meowth asked. "So?"

"Well...This proves it. It's pretty hard for me to say, but..."

"Confound it, Meowthy!" James shouted. "What is it?"



KASEY: (James) I'm turning into a grizzled old man, dagnabbit!

JESSICA: (James, old man voice) H-E-double toothpicks!



She blushed. "...I'm pregnant..."

"WOT?!?" Team Rocket yelled in unison. They fell over Anime-style



ANGIE: I don't feel like fuming over that today. It still gets on my nerves, but I believe I made my point the last couple of reviews.



and Meowthy got a sweatdrop.



VEGETA: (Meowthy) I am ashamed that I am pregnant. I should just go throw myself off a bridge! -splash!-



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: James might want to, but I don't.

(all three girls punch him, hard.)



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 2 - "All Together Now"



JESSICA: (soft woman voice) All together now, one, two, three . . .

ALL: (sings, in soft women voices) Keep your mind on the road, keep your hands on the wheel, keep your soupy eyes ahead . . . we are having fun in the back here with Fred.

KASEY: Is that how it goes? Oh well, close enough.



It had been four years. It had been four, stinking years since the notorious Bloody Mary of Team Rocket had been defeated. The newspaper article said an 'unknown blast of the supernatural' was what caused her death.



ANGIE: How did the newspapers know that? For all they knew the rocks fell from the cliff because of natural causes, since they do tend to do that. And why would this have been reported to them? Then they would know the location of Team Rocket HQ! Who told them that? It couldn't have been a member of Team Rocket 'coz obviously NO ONE was there while James jabbed Darien's eye out and Jessie turned into Neo-Queen Jessica and--

JESSICA: Save the rants for later, Angie, when they are needed.

ANGIE: Okay.



But he knew the real reason.

A young man, just beginning manhood, sat in a small café outside of Celadon City. He sipped his mug of coffee silently as he read the article he had read numerous times over. Such a pity Mary was dead.

He couldn't say he liked her that much. Sure, she was always picking on him and his older brothers. However, she was family. And she was murdered. What was a kid to do?



KASEY: Grow up, stop obsessing and get a job?



Team Rocket had taught him to never be a weakling.



VEGETA: Which was ironic, considering who led them.

ROB: (PA) Was that a insult directed towards ME?

VEGETA: (innocently) Nooooo, Rob.



It was his job to steal Pokémon and get rid of anyone in his path. He could do it without any help, but it was still upsetting to have his entire family stripped from him. Now he was alone in the world.



JESSICA: Like most people are.



He smiled and neatly folded the paper that already had creases in it. It didn't matter he was alone. He'd fix it so he was never looked down upon again. For many years he was 'the baby of the family'. No respect,



ANGIE: (Tack as Rodney Dangerfield) No respect, I get no respect at all.



no kindness, and worst of all, the best nasty jokes were never told to him. Now he'd prove himself. The man stood up, put the paper in his pocket, and left a fine tip for the cute waitress that served him.

After four years of planning, he was ready to return to his home and get his revenge.



JESSICA: He had learned the nastiest joke of all, and he planned to use it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"PREGNANT?"

"Pregnant as in BABY pregnant?" James exclaimed.

"There's no other way, James," Jessie said.

"Not just a baby," Meowth said, holding his head between his paws. "A whole litter!"

Meowthy nodded and bit her lip. Maybe she shouldn't have told them quite yet.

"How many months?" Jessie asked, seeming to get excited.

"About one and a half...But I think it's different in Pokémon years than in human years."



VEGETA: (Meowthy) Subtract ten, carry the three, add a one . . . Oh, hell, it's just different.



"Oh, that's right," the female Rocketeer nodded scooping Meowthy off the ground and into her arms.

"Then we shall have to make preparations fast. We need to decorate, and call up the closest Nurse Joy, and..."

As she continued on, Meowth and James looked appalled. "Dames!"



KASEY: (Meowth) THAT'S what women in Medieval times were called! I finished my crossword!



Meowth groaned. "Dey always love dis kid stuff."



ALL THE GIRLS: I don't.

James nodded. "I hope I never become pregnant."



JESSICA: (clenches fist) My dear James. His slightest problems are always exaggerated in 'fics.



"Ya can't, idiot."

"Oh yeah!" He grinned and Meowth rolled his eyes. "Wait a minute," James thought aloud. "Doesn't that make you a father, Meowth?"

Sweat streamed down Meowth's face. "Well...umm...Gee..."

"A daddy!" James announced. This time it was he who scooped Meowth up off the floor. "We're going to have to get you a better job. After all, you're going to have around ten Meowths to feed."

Meowth gulped. "T-ten...?"

"Or maybe even twelve, fifteen, twenty! Who knows."



ANGIE: A hundred and one Meowths!



"TWENTY?!?"

"And we'll get you a suit and tie. Oh! And no more Pikachu-hunting for you. And you'll have to learn to control that darn temper of yours..."



VEGETA: That's kinda sad, six years later from being assigned that job, they're still trying to capture Pikachu.

"I do not have a temper!" Meowth yelled as he scratched James across the face.

Jessie hit James over the head. "Don't scare Meowth! This is a very stressful time for him."

"How would you know?" James asked. "Have you ever gone through this before?"



JESSICA: (Jessie) Of course I have! Oops . . .



She blushed. "No, but I'm planning to..."

James' whole face turned red. Meowth fell over Anime-style. Meowthy sweatdropped again.



KASEY: (Jessie) Oh, but don't worry, James. Not with you. But with Ricky Martin. Sigh~



"I wonder if this is a good conversation to be talking about in the open," Meowthy said as she looked at the millions of Team Rocket members staring at the scene. "Heh heh..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Meanwhile, in a dark crevice not far from the cafeteria, a dark and secret discussion was being held. It was so dark and secret, that the beings telling it were completely still, listening to the speaker's every word. They were so completely still that the pounding of their hearts could be heard when the speaker paused. "My friends," the speaker began. He had an English accent and a creepy tone. "This is serious. If we do not have a song for next Wednesday's ball, we shall be kicked out of the music society. We shall be mocked, jeered at, and stepped upon!"

"But we're already stepped on," one of the three listeners interjected, his voice having a similar accent. "We're bugs."



ANGIE: So the British finally admit it. They are nothing but bugs.

VEGETA: You do know, Angie, that this is broadcast over the Inter-Net where millions of British people have access to it, don't you?

ANGIE: Uhhh, British are bugs as in, they are LADYbugs and BUTTERFLIES, the prettiest bugs in the bug realm. hehe . . .



The other three beings in the room gasped. "Boy!" the speaker yelled angrily. "We are not just..." He shuddered at the word. "...'Bugs'! We are beetles! We are THE Beetles!"



KASEY: Not only was she watching Power Puff Girls, but also an episode of Beetlejuice, and any other cartoon who have featured that joke . . .

The others nodded and glared at their very rude friend who said they were nothing more than skittering insects.

"But what kind of song should we write?" the third one asked. He also had an English accent. "We've written everything. From a girl named Michelle to a walrus."



ALL: Hahahahahah . . .

JESSICA: Wait, the Beatles wrote a song about a walrus? Strange.

KASEY: (sings while doing a little dance in her chair) Oh my my my my Mitchell, what would your mother say?

ANGIE: No MICHELLE not MITCHELL.

KASEY: Oh, well then. (does the dance quickly one more time, just 'coz it's cute!)



They thought. An immense silence came over the room. "C'mon! Let's think...All together now..."



ANGIE: Thus the title of this chapter!



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: But if I return to the top, I may squish the Beetles.



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 3 - "Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)"



VEGETA: Ooo, let me do this riff. "Irish Grove (This Bird Is My Dinner)".



"Hello? Is anyone...Or anything here?"



KASEY: (answering voice) Well, hello! I'm a BOX, who are you?



Nothing answered but echoes.



JESSICA: How sad, Echo first fell for that bastard Narcissus, now she fell for the spaz.

ALL: Ohhh . . .



"Ummm...How do you do? My name is Tack, and I work for Team Rocket..."

Still no answer.

"Well, I need some help." Tack continued down the long, rocky corridor. It had taken him about two hours to get to this place. Outside, a beautiful beach stretched for miles with a blue sky and green sea behind it.



ANGIE: Jeez, who spilled green food dye into the sea again?



He had climbed up the rocky ledge nearby and entered a cave.



KASEY: My God, you know what I just realized?

OTHERS: What?

KASEY: You know how Mary died under a pile of rocks?

OTHERS: Yeah.

KASEY: And you were comparing her to Callisto from "Xena"?

OTHERS: Yeah.

KASEY: Callisto kept on getting rocks thrown on top of her as well!

OTHERS: Hey!

ANGIE: How ironic.

JESSICA: Freaky.

VEGETA: You guys are idiots.



This was where he was now. It was cold, dark, and damp. Tack had to hurry. When the ocean got

high enough, its waves could flood the cave. Anything in it would be washed away. Or drowned.



JESSICA: Or drowned AND washed away.



"Please, someone help me." He thought to himself for a moment. If this place were truly dangerous, then why would someone in his or her right mind be in here? In fact, why was he in here? The old woman at the last Pokémon Center he visited said this was truly the place to come if you wanted to do something evil. So he took the advice. But there was nothing here. Serves me right for listening to an old, senile bat, he thought to himself. Now, I'm probably going to die thanks to her.



KASEY: He was talking to Cologne?

VEGETA: Cologne's not senile. She's crafty and can do a lot of harm to one's body when she's teed at you. TRUST me.



But no sooner had those words left his head than a great rumbling was heard. The movement of the ground shook stronger than a great earthquake



ANGIE: Hey! MORE of Great Tree's cousins! Great Rumble and Great Earthquake!

JESSICA: By the way, Kasey, how is your Great Tree?

KASEY: He's doing great, and he makes lotso' faeries!



and knocked Tack to the ground. He panicked and began to look for a safe hiding spot. "It's the ocean!" he gasped. "It's rising!" However, when he looked outside, the water was as still as glass. "What the Hell is going on?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



While the world was about to end to some people, it was beginning anew for others.

"Serena!"



VEGETA: Where?! Where?! Oh, it's just the fanfic. Don't SCARE me like that!



"Oh, she looks beautiful, doesn't she?"

"Yeah! Serena's dress is gorgeous."

"I always wanted to be a bride!"



JESSICA: (whoever) That's what I was born to do! Get married and bear lots and lots of children for "The Man".



A young woman walked toward her friends in a flowing white gown. She sparkled from head-to-toe in glistening lace and satin. Her blue eyes glowed with excitement. "What d'ya think, guys?"

Her four friends squealed with delight.



ALL: (various sounds of teenage girl giddiness)



One woman with long black hair and dark eyes ran to her in tears. "Oh my God, Serena! You're so perfect. You will make the best bride ever."



KASEY: (Rei/Raye) Of course I'm just saying that since you're the princess and you could can my ass in a second if I said otherwise!



Serena smiled and hugged her friend. "Thank you, Raye-chan. You truly are a great friend."



ANGIE: (Usagi/Serena, still happy) You big fibber!



"Darien is gonna love it!" exclaimed a tall women with olive eyes and a long ponytail. "You look like a Princess."

"She is a Princess, Lita!"



ALL: (mock, giddy laughter)



giggled a sweet woman with short blue hair and blue eyes.



JESSICA: Ami had been covered with caramel, she was so sweet.

VEGETA: I'm hungry. Mmmm, think I could eat her?

KASEY: Not Ami-chan!

VEGETA: Usagi then?

JESSICA: Yeah, go ahead.

VEGETA: Yay! (leaps at the screen, hits it and falls back with a lump on his head.) (sadly) Oh....



"Her whole visage tells us, too."

"Stop it, Amy," Serena blushed. "I'm not that perfect."



ANGIE: (Mako/Lita) Of course not! You still don't have *talents* like mine!

ALL: (snicker)



Raye nodded. "Yep! You're still as klutzy as when you were fourteen!" The women laughed.

"I would give anything to be a bride," said the last woman, whose shimmering hair was pulled back in a big red bow. "But I'm cursed with love-relationships."

"Ya got that right, Mina!" Lita laughed.

"Shut up, Lita!" Mina growled angrily. "I've been trying to find the perfect guy for years. I had hoped that when the Three Lights came to our school, I would've had something..."



KASEY: Aaaah! She wanted to go with the men who turned into girls? Ah!

JESSICA: Now she hangs around Bardok on the SoD.

ANGIE: Grrrr . . .



Amy and Serena groaned. "Mina-chan, you're hopeless."



VEGETA: (Minako/Mina, giggling) I am so gonna kill you guys when you least expect it.

"Hello everyone!" came a small, gentle voice.

"Holly-chan!" the girls cried. They ran to a girl much younger than themselves. She had short black hair and deep violet eyes. In her hands she carried two shopping bags. "What are you doing here?"

Holly giggled. "Well, I was shopping with Michelle. She went to try on swimsuits. Then I heard familiar laughter, and here you guys were."



KASEY: (Hotaru/Holly) Plus, people's heads were exploding from Serena's voice.

JESSICA: (Usagi/Serena) WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!



She stopped and looked at Serena's gown. "Princess! Is this the gown you are wearing for the wedding with Endymion-san?"

Serena nodded and hugged Holly. "Yep, this is it."

"It's too bad Reenie can't come," Holly sighed, resting her bags on the floor.

"I know you miss her," Serena replied. "But she belonged in the Future, where she came from. Besides,



ANGIE: (Usagi/Serena) . . . if she had stayed any longer, the space/time continuum would have collapsed!



think of how lonely Future Princess Saturn would miss her." Holly's eyes brightened and she nodded. Serena snapped her fingers. "Hey! How about after I'm done changing, the seven of us go out for ice cream? My treat!"

"Serena's treat?" Raye gasped. "It's a miracle!" Serena punched her in the arm softly.

Holly nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! I'll go get Michelle!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Tack knew this was the end. Whatever was causing the ground to shake was something big. He said his prayers and laments. Then he told his brothers and sister he'd be joining them shortly. Soon, the rumbling stopped. Tack sighed a sigh of relief. A couple seconds later, a loud screeching was heard. At first, Tack thought it was an animal, but then he heard more than one distinct voice. It was a chorus of screeches.



JESSICA: They were singing a chorus from "Cats".



Yes, now he was truly in for it.

He looked deeper into the cave. A cold gust of wind surrounded him. It was so cold, it almost froze him to his place. Then the air turned very warm. Soon he felt as if it were over one hundred degrees.



KASEY: Ohhh, he's going through menopause.

But it all passed again, only to have another element nearly kill him. It was thunder. Electricity surrounded him. Tack did everything he could to try to avoid it.



ANGIE: Unfortunately, electricity travels faster than a human.

VEGETA: Yes, but Tack's wearing a VELVET bodysuit.

ANGIE: Ahh, lucky him.



Then the rumbling began again. Tack clung to the side of the cave as three large animals swooped past him and out of the cave. When they had left, he ran to the entrance and followed them with his eyes. No...It couldn't be... Tack reached for his Pokéballs, but realized it was too late for the catch. He would have to wait for another opportunity. Regardless, the birds had flown.



KASEY: So, uh, Jessica, you seem to know more about Pokémon than we, so . . . What the hell was that about?

JESSICA: I believe an Articuno, a Moltres and a Zapdos just tried to run over Tack.

KASEY: Oh, gee, thanks, THAT DIDN'T HELP!

JESSICA: I can't tell you! It'll spoil the story!

ANGIE: Have you read it all the way through?

JESSICA: No, just to page 36.



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 4 - "A Hard Day's Night"



VEGETA: I call no riffs on that chapter title.

OTHERS: Darn!



"I need hot water!" Jessie yelled through the massive halls of Team Rocket Head Quarters. She saw Meowth and James leaning against a wall exhausted. "Don't just loaf around!" she screamed.



ANGIE: (Jessie) I'm TRYING to make some tea here!



"Meowthy is depending on us!"

"Yes, ma'am!" James and Meowth said as they gasped for air. They ran all the way down to the cafeteria and back up again. Each was carrying a coffeepot filled with warm water.



KASEY: Trip! Splash!

JESSICA: (Jessie) Hot! Hot! HOT!



Meowth handed Jessie the cup. "Is she gonna be alright?"



VEGETA: (Jessie) Well, the bleeding hasn't stopped, so it doesn't look too goo-- Oh, uh, she'll be fine.



Jessie's face softened. She petted Meowth on the head. "She'll be just fine. Don't worry..." Then she disappeared back into the room where she and Meowthy had been for almost eight hours now.



ANGIE: (Jessie) Oh dear God! Clear! -bzzt- Clear! -bzzt-

Meowth began to pace. "Dis is terrible!"



JESSICA: Yes, I'm not particularly fond of being "dissed" either.



"What is?" James asked.

"All da anticipation, and stuff. Meowth don't know if he'll be able to handle it."

James smiled and joined him in the pacing. "C'mon!" he said. "You are a tough Pokémon. There is nothing you can't handle."

Meowth smiled. Soon, Jessie's head popped out the door again. "Towels!"



KASEY: (Jessie) Meowthy REALLY exploded in here!



"Okay!" the men groaned in unison. They ran down to the restrooms in search of towels.

"How long does this labor-thing last?" James sighed.

"I think much longer..." Meowth replied sadly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"I've got it!"

"Got what?"

"An idea for our next song!"

Three beetles crowded around the one triumphant individual who could just be their savior. "Tell us, man."

"What have ya got?"

VEGETA: (a beetle) Is it "shagadellic"?

KASEY: (a beetle) Will it make the ladies "randy"?



Their friend grinned. "We can write a song about Pokémon!" The others fell over Anime-style.

"What? What's wrong with that idea?"

The leader faced his friend. "Man, Pokémon is a thing of the past! There was already that stupid Poké-Rap created. Do you wanna get tossed into the garbage like those other wash-ups?"

ANGIE: Well, that was the mistake right there. RAP. Do a New Age song about Pokémon.



"No..."

"Besides, I don't think people from our hometown would know what the bloody word means."

"I see..."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do. I got ten eyes, don't I?"



ALL: (mock, British laughter)

JESSICA: (beetle) Well, tea and rummy then?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"I'm so bored, Meowth!" James whined. "We've been up and down for hours. I need to sleep."

"Ya can go if ya want to," Meowth said. "I'll take over."

James was shocked. "What do you mean?"

"I'm worried about Meowthy. I want to do everything I can to help her." Meowth looked up at James with wide, tired eyes.

He nodded and smiled. "Meowth-chan," James said. "I know what it feels like to care about someone."

"You're not worried about Jessie, are ya?"

"No, not really. She's not the one having a litter."

Meowth shook his head and laughed. "Boy, you're all mixed up!"

Just then, the knob on the door to the room turned. Meowth and James jumped to their feet. Jessie came out of the room tired but with a huge smile on her face. "Five..."

"FIVE!" James exclaimed.



KASEY: (James) But I HATE boy bands from Britain!



"Oh, how cute! More little Meowths!"

Meowth ran through Jessie's legs and to Meowthy's side. She lay in a small basket with five other balls. His eyes watered. The small Pokémon purred and mewed. Meowth gently poked at one. The small face looked up at him with wide eyes.



ALL: Awwwww . . .



He then turned to his wife. "Meowthy-chan, how are you?"

"Tired," she said weakly. But, like Jessie, she beamed a grin.

Jessie and James walked in. James ran to the basket. "Awwwww!"



ALL: Awwwwwww!



"You're just like a little child," Jessie giggled.



VEGETA: We are?

OTHERS: Awwwwww!



James picked up one of the kittens. It yawned and snuggled deep into his glove. "You're so precious!" James whispered to the kitten.



JESSICA: I think I going to cry, it's so cute!

OTHERS: Awwwwwww!



"But...Where's your coin?"



KASEY: (Jessie) James, shhhh, I stole them all, they might bring in a buck or two!

OTHERS: Awwwwww . . .



"They don't grow on until about two weeks from birth," Meowthy explained. "They'll be bald for awhile."



ANGIE: (Meowthy) And real soon they'll start talking like George Costanza, just like my dear Meowth here.

JESSICA: (Meowth, as George) Meowth is not happy!

OTHERS: Awwww . . .



"What are you going to name your beautiful children?" Jessie asked.

Meowthy looked at Meowth. He shrugged. "Umm, we haven't gotten dat far yet."

James continued to coo to the little puffball in his hand. Then he looked at the other four. "This one seems smaller than the others."



VEGETA: Name that one Chibi-Meowth. That one Meowtho. That one Meowtha. This one Meowtwo. And that one Meowth Jr! MJ for short.

OTHERS: Awwwwww!



Jessie nodded. "She is the runt. She was lucky to make it out alive."

Meowth and James looked at her appalled. "What do you mean by dat?" Meowth gasped.

"She almost died," Meowthy purred.



ANGIE: She purred while saying one of her kittens almost died? Okay, then.

OTHERS: Awwwwww . . .



"But Jessie helped her."

"All I did was talk to her," Jessie said. "I heard somewhere that you should keep talking to a person whose about to die. I told her that she would be letting down a whole bunch of people if she left us."

"Jessie!" James exclaimed.

"What?" Jessie asked.



VEGETA: (James) You talk to PLANTS not dying people.

JESSICA: Just then, the little Meowth kitten died.

OTHERS: Awwwww-- what?! Jessica!

JESSICA: Sorry, that was a bit insensitive, wasn't it . . . C'mon, give a hardy round of . . .

ALL: Awwwwwww!



"Not you. The kitten. Her name should be Jessie!"



KASEY: (James) That way we can confuse the hell out of people!

OTHERS: Awwww . . .



He smiled and nuzzled the Meowth. "How do you like that name?" he asked her. She looked up at him and continued to purr.

"I don't think it's your choice, James," Jessie stated. "Meowthy should be the one to decide." She then looked at Meowthy. James and the kitten did as well.

Meowthy purred something in Pokémon-talk to the kitten. It smiled and nodded. "It's up to you, James-senpai."

James laughed and, ever so gently, hugged the kitten. "Then Jessie is who you shall be!"



JESSICA: (James as Yoda) Train you I will! Yes!

OTHERS: Awwwww!



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: Nah, if I do that, then Meowthy will have to go through labor all over again.

OTHERS: Awwwww . . .



______________________________________________________________________________

ANGIE: Thank goodness, now we don't hafta go "Awwwww," all the time.

KASEY: Until we see the kittens NEXT time.



Chapter 5 - "If I Fell"



JESSICA: If I fell I could seriously hurt myself, including other people. All in all, I'm gonna try to fall the least that I can.



"Attention, everyone. We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this important weather announcement."

"Turn it up, Meowth!"

"Ya got it, Meowthy-chan."

"Today's weather has been acting very peculiar. This morning, it was bright and sunny. There were no clouds in the sky. Later the sky turned cold and freezing. Then it began to snow.



ANGIE: Geez, what's so weird about that? THAT'S an average day in Idaho!



Now, we're in the middle of one of the greatest storms in history. We would advise you to stay inside until we figure out what has caused this phenomenon to occur. It probably has something to do with the cold front in Nebraska, but we're not sure yet.



ALL: (snicker)

VEGETA: (weather man) Considering that we live near JAPAN and not anywhere near Nebraska, so we're not sure yet.



Thank you, and now back to your regularly scheduled soap-opera, 'Pikachu Gets Electrocuted'."



ALL: Yes!!!!!

JESSICA: (woman) But I love Pikachu and he loves me! How could he leave me?

KASEY: (man) Uhh, he just did, now, kiss me!

ANGIE: (another woman) Hey! Someone electrocuted Pikachu! He's dead!

VEGETA: (woman) You bastard! -slap!-



Meowth walked over to the window and looked outside. "Jeez, ya think Jessie and James'll be alright?"

"They just went out for a moment," Meowthy said as she stretched. She then licked her small kittens.



ALL: Awwwwww!



"They'll probably be back pretty soon."



JESSICA: (reporter) We interrupt "Poliwhirl Gets Drowned" to bring you this important weather announcement, the Fires of Hell have begun to rain down. It probably has something to do with the devil being in Georgia, but we're not sure yet.

OTHERS: Awwwwww . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Great!" James snorted, pulling his backpack over his head. "It's just our luck to get caught in a storm." He began running around looking for a covered area. Jessie followed close behind him.

"It was gorgeous this morning," Jessie sighed, doing the best she could to keep dry. James nodded and took her under his arm, sheltering her from the rain. Soon they caught sight of a covered bus stop. They immediately ran into it.



ALL: Bang!~



Jessie sat on the bench and wrung her long hair out, which was now sopping wet and clung to her body. "I'm soaked."

"Me too," James sniffed. "And I just got this shirt dry-cleaned."

"The Boss isn't gonna be too thrilled when we tell him why we're wet."



KASEY: (Jessie) Especially since he has that phobia of water.



"Yeah. We weren't supposed to be out today."

There was a long pause while the two thought about what would happen to them. They would probably have bathroom-duty,



JESSICA: No more toilets!



or something. Either that or they would get Arbok and Weezing taken away for about a week. Not really a big deal. Giovanni just didn't like it when Team Rocket didn't obey orders, especially if it were Jessie and James.

"Of course, we don't have to go back yet," Jessie suddenly announced playfully. "We could stay here and wait 'till we're dry."

"But, Jess," James protested. "If we don't get back, members will notice we're gone, and then...Then, what would happen?"



ANGIE: Then they would say, "Hey, you were gone!"

Jessie ignored him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It doesn't really matter what others say."



VEGETA: (Jessie) There's some monkey bars, James. A slide.

"But I don't wanna get in trouble!"

"You're going to get in trouble with me if you don't shut up and kiss me!" Jessie snapped. James' eyes shot open and blinked a few times. He then obeyed Jessie's orders and kissed her long and passionately. Jessie smiled. "That's more like it..."



JESSICA: (Jessie) Now I'll just (as Karigari) *punish* you (Jessie) mildly.



Then James stood up and leaned against the wall of the bus stop. "Do you think Pokémon like the rain?" he asked, completely changing the subject.

Jessie frowned. "James," she sighed. "Here we are, alone in an abandoned bus stop, and we need to 'warm up' from the rain. All you can think about is the weather?"



KASEY: (James) No, all I can think about is that how much people DON'T want this fanfic to become a lemon.



He turned and smiled at her. "Where is your mind today, Jessie?"



ANGIE: In her pants?

OTHERS: ANGIE!!!!

ANGIE: What?!

VEGETA: Besides, that joke is more fitted for guys.

Jessie laughed. "In the same place yours is. Now come to me."



VEGETA: There, see? In HIS pants.

ANGIE: Ohhhh . . .

KASEY: C'mon, you two! You're making us sick!



She outstretched her arms, inviting James to her. He happily accepted the offer and dropped his backpack. The two began a storm of their own.



JESSICA: (clenches fist hard) Wahhhhhh!

VEGETA: God, even the metaphors are just as sick as lemons!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"I've got it!"

"You have?"

"This time, I've really got it!"

"Do tell!"

"I have an idea for our newest song."

"It had better not be Pokémon."

"It's not."

"Then, what is it?"

"Why don't we write one about Team Rocket?



ANGIE: (beetle) . . . having sex?



We've been living here nearly all of our lives, and know mostly everything about them."



VEGETA: (beetle) Better yet, let's just BLACKMAIL them!



The three beetles glared at their friend. "Do you remember the other Team Rocket song those idiots made several years ago?" the leader snapped. "Everyone hated it, and their voices left something to be desired."



JESSICA: Hey! It's a beautiful song! James serenades me often with it!

KASEY: Just don't sing it NOW, Jessica.



The others nodded. "Alright," said the first one. "No Team Rocket, then."

"Good!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tack ran into Team Rocket Head Quarters with a burst of enthusiasm.



ALL: Suuuuuuurge!!!!!



He had disappeared from his work for four years, but now he was back in business. He had been planning his revenge and now he could finally have it. He ran down to the cafeteria. "I'm back!" he announced.

At first, everyone stood in shock and disbelief. Soon, soft snickering was heard. It got louder and louder until, eventually, the whole room was roaring with laughter.

"It's Mary's brother!"

"Yeah, the little baby!"

"Whadda hoot!"



VEGETA: (a Rocket) His fly's open, the spaz!



The boy's face fell. His jaw dropped and his eyes quivered. "Didn't you guys miss me?"

One woman rose to her feet. She had dark maroon eyes and golden hair that spiked at the tip. Her Team Rocket outfit was far different from the others'. It was black with several colors for the trim. She walked over to Tack. "Your sister was a fool."

"Cassidy?" Tack asked, his eyes filling to the brim with tears. "How can you say that? Mary was much better than you."

Cassidy waved him off. "And you're just as worse."



ANGIE: (Tack) Oh yeah? Well, your hair looks like her mace! How's THAT? Neener!



Cassidy's partner, a tall man with short, turquoise hair and brown eyes, joined her. "If Mary was so good," he began in a very raspy-toned voice. "Why is she dead, and the rest of us ain't?"



ALL: (flinch)

JESSICA: That's the reason why we make him speak in his Japanese voice.



Tack's face hardened. "Because Jessie..."

"Jessie?" Cassidy interrupted. "Jessie the loser? The famous Bloody Mary was beaten by...JESSIE?!?" The whole cafeteria again roared with laughter. "Did you hear that, Butch?"

Her partner nodded, trying to stifle his laughter. "Yeah, I heard it, Cassidy."

"And I thought Jessie was bad!" Cassidy laughed again.

Tack grit his teeth and clenched his fists. "You guys haven't seen me for years. What makes you think I haven't grown up?"



KASEY: (Cassidy) Maybe if you tuck that TEDDY BEAR out of plain sight?



"Well, just look at you," Cassidy grinned. "You're still a twerp!" The whole congregation laughed again.

"Just you wait!" Tack bellowed. "I'll prove to you I'm not a push-over! I will make Jessie pay for murdering my sister!"



VEGETA: Oh-ho, he's spazzing out. We may have to sedate him.

KASEY: (cocks a tranquilizer gun) I've been waiting to use this for a long time.

JESSICA: Where did that come from?

KASEY: I've kept it under the seat ever since three thousand and five hundred years ago. I was hoping to use it during the bordello girl version of Joxer's Song to shut him up.

(growling, Jessica hits Kasey in the back. She starts to twitch in pain.)



The crowd continued to laugh as Tack stormed out the door. Butch and Cassidy waved. "Have fun playing in your sandbox!" Cassidy called after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours had passed since the storm had begun. Again, the sky was sunny and blue. The streets were dry and a rainbow could be seen atop a hill. Jessie lay in James' arms sleeping. James was lying across the bench and looking outside. He nudged Jessie. "Hey, the storm's over." He whispered.



ANGIE: (old lady) Here we are, Martha, this is where the bus should pick us up and--- AHH!!!



Jessie grumbled something but continued to sleep.

He smiled. "C'mon, dearest. All good things must come to an end."



JESSICA: Even this glorious scene.



He gulped. Now they had to return to Head Quarters and get chewed-out by the Boss. "Let's go face the music."



KASEY: (stops twitching) (James) Let's just say that we were chased by a Gyarados again, that always works.



He pushed himself up causing Jessie to do the same. She opened her eyes and looked at him groggily. "Wha...?"

"Let's go," James said, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. "Ugh," he groaned. All the contents inside were damp. He set it back down on the ground again and opened it. He received a bunch of angry noises.

"Weezing!"



VEGETA: Translation: Disgusting, Master! I saw it all!



"Victreeeeeeebellllll!"

"Growl growl!"



THE GIRLS: OH! HOW CUUUUTE!



James cringed. "Aw Weezing, Victreebel, Growlie, I'm sorry! But I was caught in the middle of a damned storm." Then there came a chorus of angrier Pokémon.

"Charbok!"



JESSICA: Translation: Jessie, I have just lost all respect for you.



"Tongue!"



KASEY: (Lickitung) I bit my tongue! Oh, that hurts!



"Guess that answers my question about Pokémon and rain. Next time, Jess, I'm not carrying your Pokémon!" He turned around to face her, expecting either an evil glare or a mouth full of retorts.



ANGIE: Maybe if you put the Pokémon INSIDE their Pokéballs?



Instead he got snores. "Asleep again?" He closed the backpack again, hoisted it on his shoulders, and picked up Jessie. He carried her all the way home.



JESSICA: Zug zug?

KASEY: (lol) Not THAT joke!

ANGIE: Make furious zug zug for three moons.

KASEY: (laughing hysterically) That joke kills me.



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



VEGETA: The sea is calm. TOO clam.



Chapter 6 - "Yesterday"



ANGIE: Yesterday? Yesterday Ryoko and Aeka destroyed half of Curve B.

JESSICA: They did!?

ANGIE: Yeah! Didn't you know?

JESSICA: No! You've got to tell the Captains these things!

ANGIE: Oh, well then you might care to know that Diana got lost in Curve C yesterday as well.

KASEY: That cute little kitten got lost in the Curve inhabited by youma and Deadites?!

ANGIE: Yeah, and we sent Toma and Serapa out to find them and they didn't come back, so Ash the Demon Hunter and Sailor Moon are out looking for THEM along with that one wizard guy from Record of Lodoss war . . . Well, you know who I mean.

JESSICA: First toilets, now this. This has not been a very good day.



Tack sat alone on the steps of Team Rocket Head Quarters. So, they still all laughed at him. No matter. He wouldn't need them for his plan. He would show everyone how truly evil he really was. He would put his plan into action...Just as soon as he found Jessie.

Suddenly Tack heard footsteps coming towards him. He ran and hid behind the nearest bush and looked into the distance. What luck!



VEGETA: No singing Lucky Lucky OR Joxer the Mighty.

ANGIE & JESSICA: (both close mouths)



It was James. He was carrying Jessie. Tack grinned. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all.



KASEY: All he had to do is trip James and Jessie would more than likely fly off and break her neck!

James walked up the steps carefully and opened the door to Head Quarters. Tack followed him inside silently. He tiptoed behind James as he took Jessie up to her room. James lay her down on her bed and covered her with blankets so she wouldn't catch cold. "Guess you'll change later," he murmured as he emptied her Pokéballs onto her dresser. "See you later." He then walked outside and closed her door.

"Greetings, James!"



ALL: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

KASEY: (gasping) He popped out of nowhere!



"Huh?" James turned around and stood face-to-face with... "Tack?"

"I'm touched you remember me!" Tack mock-cried. "How have you been doing these past years?"

James shrugged. "Well, I'm good. But you're still a runt..."



JESSICA: Oh, I'm sure if James saw Tack he would kick his ass right away.



"WOT?!?"



ANGIE: He said: "WELL, I'M GOOD!!!!!!! BUT YOU'RE STILL A RUNT!!!!!"

OTHERS: (they were prepared for this and have their hands over their ears)



"See ya around, kiddo!" James laughed and headed down to the cafeteria.



VEGETA: (James) I'll kill you later!



"Runt?" Tack yelled after him. "Aren't you even remotely interested in how I survived the blast your girlfriend caused?"



KASEY: (Tack) Even though you weren't there when my brothers and I foolishly crawled onto the rock pile!



No answer. "Argh! You're an idiot, James! I'll get you back!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"You're not serious!"

"I am...She actually wore a dress for once!"

"Alex?"

"No!"



ANGIE: Kasey?

KASEY: Like hell I'd be seen in a dress.



"It's a miracle!"

Serena, Raye, Mina, Lita, Amy, Michelle, and Holly all sat in the ice-cream parlor. Beside Serena lay five empty containers of ice-cream.



JESSICA: (Usagi/Serena) Being one-dimensional really makes you FAT, you know that?



"Your sister's sure a weirdo. Michelle." Serena said as she gulped down another container.



VEGETA: (Usagi/Serena) Oooo! Brain freeze! Brain freeze! -Kapow!-

ANGIE: (Rei/Raye) Well, there goes Usagi!

KASEY: (all) Yay!

JESSICA: Hey! Wait a minute. Michiru and Haruka aren't SISTERS!



Michelle giggled. "Yeah, I guess so.



VEGETA: (Michiru/Michelle) Considering that she's a lesbian.

ANGIE: Vegeta! You know her well enough that that's not true!

VEGETA: Just making a few Michiru/Haruka fans happy.



It's not everyday you see her wearing a dress. She just wears jeans and other men's clothing all the time.



KASEY: Like the 98% of girls in the U.S. of A.?

VEGETA: Jessica, here, with her new short haircut, looks like a guy, too.

JESSICA: Oh, thank you, Vegeta-kun. I think I shall bestow you with plumbing duty for the next week for that compliment.

VEGETA: You can't do that!

JESSICA: Like hell I can't, I'M a Captain!



Yesterday, she went out to a bar with some other guys from her work. I almost died when she came in at midnight bringing a bunch of drunken guys into the house. Susan threw a fit when she found them trashing her clean kitchen."



VEGETA: I did that once, Bulma nearly disemboweled me.

Everyone laughed. Holly sighed. "I'm full..." Serena grabbed the remainder of her dessert. Everyone laughed again.



ALL: (mock, giddy laughter)

"Look!" Amy exclaimed. "The storm's over." She pointed outside the window.

"It's strange," Holly said. "That the weather would act so crazy in just one day."

"I wonder if this is Scout business," Michelle whispered to Serena. "We should go check it out."

Serena was still shoving ice-cream into her mouth. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"Well, Holly and I will go see," replied Michelle. She took Holly's hand and led her out the door. "If you need us, we'll be at the weather station."



KASEY: Scoff! As if THEY could help.



"Okay!" the girls called. Serena continued eating.

Raye nudged her. "Hey, eating-machine, if you keep stuffing your face, you'll never fit into your wedding gown."

"Hmmm?" Serena said.



JESSICA: (Usagi/Serena) Raye! You're so MEEEEEEEEAAN!

KASEY: You're good at that.

JESSICA: Thank you.

ANGIE: So Serena's twenty years-old now, and she still acts like a fourteen year-old?

VEGETA: Hell, when she was a fourteen year-old she didn't even act like a fourteen year-old.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Michelle! Look at these reports."



JESSICA: (Hotaru/Holly) Serena and Darien have been embezling from the Scout Account for the past five years!

Michelle and Holly had received permission to look through the weather files of that morning. Holly held out two for Michelle to look at. "It says here that the snow began falling at Vermillion Beach. It had been warm the first of the day and suddenly the weather went crazy."

"Where's Vermillion?" Holly asked.



ALL: In another dimension.



"I don't know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Jessie woke up that evening freezing. "James," she whispered to herself. "It's just like you to throw me in bed with wet clothes on. Your jobs are done half-assed!"



ANGIE: Where's the other half of his ass while he's doing jobs only with half an ass?



She jumped out of bed and quickly began a hot shower. She then turned on the radio for music and took sweet-scented shampoo and perfume out of her cabinet.



KASEY: Augh, Herbal Essence, I'm allergic to that stuff.

JESSICA: I use it all the time! (shakes hair at Kasey who starts sneezing)



At least if I get sick, she thought. I won't look miserable.

She got in the shower. It felt nice to get warm again. Her throat was a little sore. A symptom of a cold, but James' Growlithe could make a fire in the fireplace in the Head Quarters' recreational room.



VEGETA: A match could just as easily do it, too, ya know.



Then she could snuggle with James for awhile. Being sick meant everyone waited on you.



ANGIE: And then they get sick of you and start to resent ever knowing you.



She smiled.

"Hey you!"

Jessie jumped. "Who's there?"

"Are you tired of endless waiting?"



ALL: Yes!



"Just the radio!" she sighed in relief.



VEGETA: Darn, I was hoping it was Rob saying that we could leave.



"How long have you and your lover been going out?" the announcer on the radio blared.

"About six years," Jessie murmured to herself and the radio.

"And has he popped you the Big Question?"

"Uhhh...No..."

"Well, then maybe it's time you stopped the waiting and prompted him. We here at the S.S. Anne Cruise Liner offer wonderful deals on honeymoon suites. Picture the two of you on deck after happily agreeing to spend the rest of your lives together."



JESSICA: Oh no! The S. S. Anne is the RPG name for the SAINT Anne!



Jessie sighed dreamily and closed her eyes, imagining James holding her close as the sun set on peaceful blue water. "Yes..."



VEGETA: (Jessie, dreamily) I AM the queen of the world . . .



"Why wait now? If he doesn't ask, why don't you? Book your wedding on the S.S. Anne today. Just call 1-800-MARRIED. Remember, you only share a moment like this once."



KASEY: (announcer) Unless if you divorce and meet another man.



"Yes!" Jessie exclaimed. "Marriage! James and I should be married. We've been together since

childhood in a bike gang and Pokémon Tech." She hopped out of the shower and changed into a dry Team Rocket uniform. Then she dried and combed her hair until it was soft and falling down her back. Then she ran into James' room and grabbed his Pokéball containing Growlie. "Tonight,

nothing will stand in my way!"



ANGIE: (Lita and Serena) We are the LOVE SCOUTS!

JESSICA: She is the Love Rocket.

KASEY: NEVER say that phrase again, it didn't sound right.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



James and Butch were downstairs in the rec room playing pool. James chalked his stick and aimed it for the cueball. "No pressure..." Butch teased.

"Quiet," James said, still intensely watching the ball. "If I sink this shot, I win. Then you owe me a beer."

Butch grinned. "That's why I don't want you to win."



VEGETA: (Butch) Even though beer here is really cheap, but still, it's the principle of the thing!



"Steady...Easy..." James closed one eye and pulled back the stick.



KASEY: Poking himself in the eye.



"HALT!" Butch and James jumped. James' hand slipped and the ball went flying across the room.



ANGIE: -Clunk!- (whips head back) OWIE!!!!



The two turned to see Jessie standing in the doorway. "Time for you to leave, Butch."



JESSICA: (Jessie) It's dinner time, your mother is calling for you.



"Ohhh..." Butch said, nudging James in the ribs. "Good luck!" He walked passed Jessie who winked at him. He laughed.



VEGETA: (Butch and Jessie) Today is the day we rid ourselves of James forever!

James blushed and looked at his feet. "Hiya, Jess! How ya doing?"



ANGIE: Oh, how cute! He named one of his shoes "Jess".



"I'm a little sick," she said.



KASEY: (Jessie) And a little perverted.



"But this will fix that. Growlithe, I choose you!" Jessie threw forth the Pokéball and Growlie came out.



THE GIRLS: HOW CUTE!!!

"Hey!" James whined. "That's my Pokémon!"

"You owe me for getting me sick," she smiled. "Growlie, Ember in the fireplace." After Growlie had finished, Jessie called him back and walked over to the couch. She patted the seat beside her. "James, I need to talk with you."

"Sure!"



JESSICA: I'm not "unsure"!



James grinned as he rushed to Jessie's side. He tried to kiss her, but she pushed him away gently.

"First things first, you idiot," she laughed. "This is serious."

Serious, thought James. Boring. "I hate serious," he pouted.



VEGETA: (Jessie) Yes, I know, dear. But I won't kiss you because, well, ever heard of the word "toothbrush"?



"James, you and I have known each other for a very long time," Jessie began. She stopped to make sure James was following her. He nodded. Jessie continued. "And we've been going together almost as long."

"What'cha getting at?" James asked.

"I want to get married..."

"WHAT?!?" James asked, jumping off of the couch and onto his feet.



ANGIE: The WRONG thing to say to a guy.

KASEY: Remember this lesson, girls.



"I believe we should get married," Jessie said again.



JESSICA: (James) Well, I believe I should be emperor of the world, but we can't have everything!



James got a sweatdrop. "Jessie, I can't!"

"Why not?" Jessie said, her eyes wobbling a little. "If we truly love each other, then we should be happy to spend the rest of our lives together."

James shook his head. "No! I'm not the marrying type. I'm not ready to settle down and have all the responsibilities."



VEGETA: (James) Can't we just have a kid while we're UNmarried?



"Well I am!" Jessie growled standing to her feet to face James. "And if you don't want to spend the rest of your life with me, then I guess you don't love me."



ANGIE: Peer pressure . . .



"Jessie!"



JESSICA: (Jessie as a pusher) C'mon James, if you marry me you'll be soooooo cool . . .



Jessie walked out the door of the rec room and slammed it behind her. The air from the slam blew the fire out. James plopped back down on the couch and sat alone in the dark. "I do love you," he said. "And I want to be with you always, but I can't yet..." Yesterday, his life was so simple, and now he was alone.



KASEY: Join the club, Jamesy boy.

[ Return to top ]



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 7 - "All You Need is Love"



VEGETA: All I need is Prozac to get me through this thing.



The next morning was the same as always. Jessie entered the cafeteria to see James sitting there eating and reading the paper as he always was. She bought a cup of coffee and went over to sit at the table next to him. "Good morning," she said softly. James didn't even look up at her. He said nothing.



ANGIE: He's to engulfed with reading "Garfield".



Jessie looked away from him guiltily. "Look, I'm sorry I blew up at you last night. I mean, I know you love me. You've expressed it in many ways..."

"Yes, I have," James interrupted, glaring up at her from his food and newspaper.



JESSICA: (James) In many, MANY ways.



"For you to say that you don't think I care was very cruel."



VEGETA: How TENTAcruel! Bada-bing!

Jessie sweatdropped. "Yes, you're right, James. It was cruel,



VEGETA: Tentacruel! Kaching!



and I ask for your forgiveness." She took his hand and squeezed it. "Please?"

A knowing smile crept over James' face.



ANGIE: (James) I know what you did last summer.

JESSICA: (Jessie) All we did was play volleyball.

ANGIE: (James) Ah, so my memory WAS correct.



"I guess I can forgive you," he said. "But you need to do something for me..."

"And...That may be?" She expected he was going to say one thing. James was like that. A one-track mind sort of guy.

He paused to stuff a spoonful of rice in his mouth. "Don't ever mention the word 'marriage' again."

Jessie fell over Anime-style. "You...You surprised me."

"Oh, that's for later!" James winked. "But business is first. You said so yourself!"



KASEY: Hahahah, James is really fun. You never know what he's gonna say next.

JESSICA: (pretends to pat his cheek) My sweet James.

KASEY: Quiet, before I puke.

JESSICA: That's how Jessie always talks in these "Rocketship" stories, so why can't I? I am his girlfriend after all. Instead I could be perverted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Meowth's ears twitched. Pokémon could sense things from a mile away. Pokémon have the keen senses most humans don't have.



VEGETA: (Meowth) I sense a disturbance in the force.

ANGIE: (Meowth as Crow) As if a million apes cried out as one, and then were silenced.

JESSICA: Hmmm, only hard-core MST3K fans will get that one.

KASEY: (laughing)



He knew he was being watched, but pretended he didn't. The hunter must think its prey is stupid and not suspect anything.



VEGETA: So basically, that shouldn't be too hard for Meowth to pull off, right.



The hunter was moving in for the kill. Meowth felt it. A jump. A duck.



ANGIE: Mousse! When did he crossover into this 'fic?



A splat. "Meowth!"

"Owwiee!"

Meowth laughed. "Bumped yer head dere, didn't you, Jessie-chan?"



JESSICA: (Jessie-chan) My brains are all over the place! That's what the "splat" was!



"Daddy!" the tiny Pokémon groaned. She got up to her feet. She was a tad dizzy from the head-crash into the wall, but managed to scamper over to Meowth's feet. "You could hear me, huh?"

Meowth nodded. "But don't worry," he said patting her on the head. "You'll make a fine hunter.



KASEY: (Meowth) Unless if you follow in your father's footsteps and fail miserably at everything you try to do.



Now, go find yer mother."

"Okay!" Jessie the Meowth nodded. She ran off to Meowthy who was sleeping with her other kittens in a laundry basket.

"Meowth!"

"Hiya, James," Meowth replied.

James came into his room through the door. "How are you, Top Cat?"

"Same old," Meowth shrugged. "I'm teaching Jessie to be a hunter."



VEGETA: (Meowth) Teaching my kid the basics of killing.



"Jessie's a hunter?" James blinked. "But she's not good at capturing Pokémon..."

"Not yer Jessie, numbskull! My kitten."

"Ooohhh..." James laughed. "Sorry."

"What d'ya want?"

"What do you mean 'What do I want'?" James smirked. "Not only is this my room, but it's my day to do laundry." He walked over to the laundry basket, picked it up, and walked out the door.

"It is his room," Meowth sighed. Then his eyes widened. He ran out the door after James. "LAUNDRY?!? Wait, Jaaaaaaaames!"



ANGIE: Don't worry, Meowth. While protecting her kittens, like most female felines are wont to do, she attacked and mauled James, so your kittens are safe.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"I've got it!"

"Not again..."

"Let's do a song about love!"



JESSICA: Ah, love. Where a man and a woman look at each other and their hormones kick in.



The other beetles groaned. "Do you know how many songs we've written about love, man?" the leader groaned.

"Uhhh...A lot?"



KASEY: (lead beetle) Actually, just one, but everyone hated that "Jitter-BUG Love".

"Yes."

"No love then?"

"No love."



VEGETA: (Beetle) How about hate then?

ANGIE: (leader) We've done more hate songs than love songs.



"But, all you need is love, man!"



ALL: Dude!

JESSICA: I love how something in the chapter ties into the titles of the chapters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"I wish someone loved me!" Tack cried. "I'm such a lonely man..."



KASEY: Oh god, flashback to my childhood. (sob)

JESSICA: (patting her shoulder) There there, Keisii-chan.



He wandered to his old room that was on the end of the Rockets 5 hall. Mary's door had been locked since she never came back. Everything was different, yet the same.



VEGETA: So no one told Giovanni that four of his Rocket Members were gone?



There was his old Nintendo Gameboy. 'Pokémon' was still in the cartridge case.



ALL: SHAMELESS PLUG!



He sighed. There were his old posters and his old bed. A small tear trickled down his face,



VEGETA: Oh, hooray! (Conan O'Brien) A lone tear.



but he wiped it off immediately. "Well, I'd better find where those birds went." he said, pulling out a large map from a desk drawer. "They're the final keys I need to take my revenge!" He laughed an evil sort of laugh, but then began coughing. "Damn cold!"



ALL: Spaz.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Jessie was in her room waiting for instructions from the Boss when the telephone rang. She picked it up. "Hello?" she said sweetly.

"Hi," replied the voice. "Jessie?"

"Who is this?"



JESSICA: (voice) This is God speaking. For bad and perverted behavior before getting married, we have to revoke your living license.



"It's me...Serena."



KASEY: And Jessie immediately hangs up.



Jessie leapt out of her chair excitedly. "Serena-chan! Oh, it's been a while! How are you?"

"Well...I'm getting married."



ANGIE: (Jessie) No way! I was sure Darien would come to his senses and leave you by NOW!

JESSICA: (Usagi/Serena) Well, I'm sort of pregnant.

VEGETA: She is?

JESSICA: I read somewhere that when Mamoru and Usagi get married, it was a shotgun ceremony.

KASEY: Tsk tsk, that's sad.



At first, Jessie said nothing. Then she snapped out of it. "To Endymion-san?"

"Yes! Isn't that great?"

She sat back down in her chair again. "Isn't that marvelous..." Jessie said sarcastically.

"What's wrong, Jessie-chan?" Serena asked.

"It seems everybody in the whole cotton-pickin' world is getting married, except me," she growled. "James doesn't want to get married yet. He says he's not ready for the responsibilities."

"It is a big responsibility," Serena said calmly. "I'm sorry, Jessie."

"It's alright. I guess I just thought James would leap at the chance to be with me all the time."

"Men are different from us."



ANGIE: (Usagi/Serena) They should all be murdered.



"No kidding..."

There was a short pause. Serena broke it. "Well, I just wanted to say hi and tell you you were invited. Invitations are in the mail."

"Thanks..."

"Bye, Jess!"

"Sayonara..."



JESSICA: What a wonderful conversation!

VEGETA: So, after not seeing each other for four years, they have this piddly talk.

KASEY: (Usagi/Serena hanging up the phone) Jeez, Jessie sure became a real bitch.

[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: Darn, I ran out of "Return to top" jokes again.



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 8 - "We Can Work it Out"



ANGIE: Sure I bashed your face in with a Vodka bottle, but we CAN work it out.



"You're not serious, sir!"



JESSICA: (whoever) We CAN work this out? No way!



"I am serious! The three Legendary Birds have been released from the cave."



ALL: Gasp!



"But, Boss, I thought no one could release them."

"Oh, they could, James. If someone was willing enough, they could cause the Birds to awaken."



ALL: (talk excitedly amongst each other)

VEGETA: The birds? . . . Barbecue sauce? . . .

ANGIE: The pit . . . dousing it with gas helps it light quicker . . .

KASEY: Articuno . . . won't it melt? . . .

JESSICA: Guys . . . Pikachu, too . . . later.

James stood in the office of Giovanni, Team Rocket Head Quarters' Boss and leader.



VEGETA: At least CTR mentioned that Giovanni was the Boss or we would have booed.



Giovanni puffed on a cigar angrily and tapped the excess off.



ANGIE: Bad sign for James.

JESSICA: We did that in Rocket Princess I, so don't do it here.

ANGIE: Sorry.



His Persian snuggled in his lap as he pet it.



KASEY: Hey, Persian is the same Persian!

ALL: Boo!!!



He glared at the young man in front of him.

"What are we going to do?" James asked. "If Team Rocket had those Pokémon..."

"Exactly!" Giovanni growled. "If we had them, we could become ultimate Pokémon Masters!"

"How did you find out this information? Wouldn't it be impossible to tell whether they were free or not? I mean, no one would DARE enter that cave alone. It's scary, and the Birds could rip you apart."



VEGETA: Any mere mortal would be scared, but not Spaz Boy!

ANGIE: Batman's ex-sidekick.



The Boss nodded and chewed on his cigar. "Yes. But one of our scouts claimed to see them flying together. Also, they could be the answer to the strange weather we're having."

"Why tell me?"

"I like you, James," Giovanni said. "I am giving you the assignment to track down Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres."

James eyes sparkled. "Me?" he asked in a small voice. He smiled and Anime tears streamed down his cheeks.



JESSICA: (James) Hold on a second, Boss. I'm trying to wash out the sparkles in my eyes with tears.



"You want me to find the Legendary Birds?" Giovanni just nodded. James ran to him and kissed his foot. "Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"You're welcome..." Giovanni grimaced, looking down at him. "Now, go on! Find them..." James ran out the door enthusiastically, screaming with delight. The Boss just smirked. "Sucker..." he laughed.



KASEY: (Giovanni, giggling) That's a funny word. "Sucker" . . .



"Perrrsian?"

"See, the only reason I'm choosing him is because I don't want any of my better people to die."



ALL: Boo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: James' tears of pride partially flooded Giovanni's den.



Jessie had nothing better to do than to examine her hand thoroughly that evening.



ANGIE: (Jessie) That's a strange looking hair. Quite a few of them in fact.

KASEY: (Jessie) Is it a full moon?

JESSICA: She's turning into a damn "ware-wilf!"

VEGETA: Another joke only a MST3K fan would know.

KASEY: (laughing again) The cheeseball's got no fricken class!



She sat in her room and took off both of her gloves. There it was, man's incredible function. The hand. How exciting. How breath-takingly marvelous. She sighed and turned her hand to examine her fingers.



ANGIE: How MONKEY-like!



"Damn!" she said. "I chipped a nail..."

Then there was the rush of clumsy feet up the staircase. James. No doubt about it.



JESSICA: Or it could be Joxer the Mighty coming to visit her.



Sure enough, he came bounding through the door enveloped in happiness. "Guess what!"

"What?" Jessie droned, still looking at the chipped fingernail.

"I got a new mission from the Boss!"

"Uh huh..."



ANGIE: (James) I have to go to Bosnia and try to convert people to the Mormon religion!

"I get to search for the Legendary Birds, Moltres, Zapdos, and Articuno!"

"That's nice..."

James pouted. "Aren't you happy? I'm finally going to be noticed."

"I think everyone in Team Rocket knows who you are," Jessie yawned. "It can't be that hard to miss you."

James stood there for a while. The two of them were in silence. "It's that time of the month, isn't it?" he finally said.

Jessie turned red, grabbed a pillow, and threw it at him. "What the Hell? It isn't!"



KASEY: Hey! That stuff is personal! No talking about it in a fanfic.



"Then why are you acting so..." he tried to think of the right words that wouldn't insult her. "...Mopey and aggressive?"



VEGETA: She's always--

ALL: Mopey and aggressive!



"Just like you!" she growled. "You don't understand anything." Jessie turned away from him. "You're so inconsiderate."

James looked at her back with a blank expression. "Was it something I did?"

"No...It was something you DIDN'T do."



JESSICA: He forgot to put down the seat, didn't he? He does that a lot.

"Like what?"

"Like not marrying me!"



ANGIE: (Jessie) And you interrupted my hand studying time!



He rolled his eyes. "Not this again. You call me inconsiderate? You don't understand MY feelings."

She turned back to him and gave him a dirty look. "Oh, I know what you want to feel!"

"WHAT?!?" James yelled, throwing the pillow back at her. "You think I don't care?"

"Men only want one thing." Jessie bit her lip.



VEGETA: You betcha.

THE GIRLS: Ugh!



"And Serena's getting married..."

"Serena?" laughed James. "So, you automatically think that we should because of her."

"Yes...And no..."



JESSICA: (Jessie) What if we have an annoying pink haired daughter?

"I do not have to listen to this!" James said. "I will go where I'm appreciated."

Jessie's eyes widened. "Like where?"

"Maybe somewhere...I dunno," he sniffed. "There are many nice women who hang around a local bar. Even they'd give me more respect than you."



KASEY: For the right price, of course.



Jessie immediately got to her feet and ran to her door, locking it. "You are NOT leaving this room, you hear me?"

James blinked. "I thought you were angry with me..."

"I am," Jessie said seductively. "And now, I'll show you just how angry I am."



ANGIE: Oh dear Lord! She's running here, there, she's like a ferret! . . . in heat!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Did you hear?"



VEGETA: Ewww, the Beetles are eavesdropping!



"Yeah! The Boss sent James looking for the Birds."

"Do you think they're really free?"

"I highly doubt it..."

Tack opened his eyes. He had fallen asleep at his desk on top of his map. "W-wha...?" he gurgled. He heard two random members talking as they passed his door.



VEGETA: Oh, it wasn't the Beetles. Pardon me.



"If the Birds are out there, James is gonna have a rough time..."

"WHAT?" yelled Tack as he ran out the door. He grabbed one of the members by the collar of their shirt. "WHO'S LOOKING FOR THE LEGENDARY BIRDS?"

"Take it easy, squirt,"



JESSICA: Lemon or raspberry flavor?



the man replied, removing Tack's clenched fist from his collar. "The Boss thinks the three Legendary Bird Pokémon are roaming around and he's sending James out after them."

Tack squealed. "This is perfect! My revenge on Jessie will be complete!"

"What are you talking about, Tack?" the man asked.

The boy knew he had said something he shouldn't and scooted away. "Umm...Nothing...Good-bye..." He disappeared into his room again.

"That kid has problems!" the man mumbled to his friend.

The other man nodded. "Takes after his sister, don't he?"



KASEY: So he's saying Mary was his sister and his mother?

VEGETA: Let's not delve into that realm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Holly,



JESSICA: I keep on thinking that that says "Molly" and not "Holly". I wish Naru-chan was here.



Michelle,



KASEY: Whenever I see that I think "Mitchell". I hope that Mitchell never comes here.



and an escort were venturing toward Vermillion City.



ANGIE: Huh, they must have high crime rates. Or maybe there are snipers in the hills. Why else would they be "venturing" towards Vermilion.



They did not know where the place was. They had never heard of it. Luckily, they had met up with a hot-tempered teenager with spiky, brown hair and a long, purple shirt who knew exactly where it was.



VEGETA: Ah, they found a dimensional tour guide.



The teen was followed by a group of cheerleaders, and the two Scouts were asked if they wanted to join.



KASEY: Oh god, it's GARY!



They refused, but asked for an escort. The boy was delighted to come and drove them in his car.

"So, just about how much longer, Gary?" Holly asked.



KASEY: See! See!

JESSICA: Oh please, Kasey. I knew it was Gary right at the "spiky, brown hair" part.



Their escort smiled. "Not long! I know all Pokémon territory like the back of my hand. For about six years, I've learned everything about the little monsters. I'm the best, you know."

"Yes," coughed Michelle. "You've told us several times."

"Just filling you in on my expertise!" Gary laughed. "I'm sixteen years old, and the master of Pocket Monsters."



ANGIE: I wonder, is Gary related to you, Jessica.

JESSICA: Shad up.

KASEY: Y'know, I think they are.

VEGETA: Wouldn't surprise me.

JESSICA: Okay, so I'm egotistical! So sue me!



"Really?" Holly asked excitedly. "I've heard a little about Pokémon. My friend's friend is a trainer. So is her boyfriend."

"It's a popular sport," replied the boy smugly.

"Please, mister Gary, will you tell me more?"

"Of course..."



VEGETA: No, don't encourage him!

ANGIE: You'd figure Hotaru would be smarter.



Michelle groaned. This was going to be a long trip...



KASEY: And we'll be here with you all the way!

ALL: . . . yay . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



All of Jessie's tension vanished as she caressed James in her arms.



JESSICA: James! (clenches fist hard)

VEGETA: My eyes! My eyes! I can't see!

KASEY: Calm down, you guys are overreacting.



They had both taken their anger out on each other in a very...Expressive manner.



JESSICA: Sob! (clench)

ANGIE: Jessica, you're gonna die from blood loss unless if you settle down.



James sighed and looked at his partner with a peaceful smile. "That's what you meant by anger..."

Jessie nodded. "Again, I apologize for being rash. I guess I'm just trying to force you into doing something I want to do."

"It's okay," he replied. "I will always forgive you," he touched her cheek gently. "...My Queen..." She blushed and touched her forehead. Her Symbol of the star-within-a-crescent-moon glowed brightly. Guess it was an emotions thing... "



JESSICA: Sob! (clench!)

KASEY: Okay! That's it! Time out!

(hits Jessica in the head with her shoe, she falls over, KOed)

KASEY: There.



And I do need a King."

James laughed and sat up so he was facing her. "Someone of royalty, I presume?"

"That's what he should be," she said, edging closer to him. "But I'll be satisfied with a poor Pokémon Master."



VEGETA: Scoff. Master. Right! Maybe in some areas, but not Pokémon.

"Master?" James grinned. "That reminds me...I've gotta start my search." He took her in his arms. "Will you come with me?"

She tried to refuse, but was just too taken in by his soft, green eyes. "I guess I'm involved now."

"With what?"

"With you."



ANGIE: Well, I should SAY!



"Then we'll start tomorrow."

"Okay."

[ Return to top ]



______________________________________________________________________________

HOME

______________________________________________________________________________



VEGETA: Home? That was all? Nice revenge, Tack. See ya. (stands to leave, and trips over Jessica)

KASEY: No, there's more. That's the split in the story. Camharpy will get to Chapter Nine soon.

VEGETA: (picking himself up and sitting down) You mean we don't get to go out on a break? Ohhhh . . .

JESSICA: (pokes her head up groggily) Where am I?

ANGIE: The theater.

JESSICA: (sits in seat) What happened?

KASEY: I had to knock you out, you were freaking out.

JESSICA: Oh.

Rocket Princess III - The Revenge of Tack



JESSICA: What? Did we start over again? Did Vegeta lose it and push the "Return to top" link?

ANGIE: No, the story had to be broken up. This is Chapter Nine to the Epilogue.



~By Chibi Team Rocket~



KASEY: The littlest Rocket.



[Header Type Picture]

(Cannot be shown . . . yaddayaddayadda)



VEGETA: What in the world is THAT? In the corner!

ANGIE: A-a stag beetle?

VEGETA: Oh, I see.

KASEY: Jessie still has that doorknob.

JESSICA: Wow, I'm put to shame.

OTHERS: Why?

JESSICA: CTR did a better architecture structure than I ever could! And I did perspective in art class.

KASEY: And she's not kidding, CTR-chan.

JESSICA: I kept on getting D's and C's on them!

VEGETA: Look at James' cape. It's small and inadequent. (snicker)

(Jessica backhands him)



(Chapter index 1 to Epilogue)

______________________________________________________________________________



ANGIE: The city did real good work fixing those potholes.



Chapter 9 - "Michelle"



THE GIRLS: Oh my my my my Mitchell. What would your mother say? Breaking those heads, jumping in and out of bed . . .

VEGETA: I have to find out where that is from, and watch it.

Jessie stood outside of Team Rocket Head Quarters waiting for James to join her. She wore a pair of khaki shorts with a tucked-in white v-neck tee-shirt. A small, red 'R' was embroided



JESSICA: "R" for "Raunchy".



in the top, left-hand corner. A pair of rough hiking boots were on her feet



ANGIE: (kicks up her feet) I wear hiking boots all the time! Jessie and I are footwear sisters!



and a backpack containing water, victuals, a map, and her Pokémon was slung over her back.



KASEY: Ouch, she's carrying an Arbok AND a Lickitung over her shoulder?



This mission would prove a lot more interesting than all the Pikachu hunts she'd been on. She'd also get to be alone with James as well. Meowth needed to stay home and be a father.



JESSICA: Meaning that they tied him up and gagged him and hid him in a safe.

She shielded her eyes from the bright sun rising over her head. It was only morning, but the heat was already present. She prayed the weather wouldn't act weird today. They were heading to the beautiful beaches of Vermillion City



ALL: Bum bum BUM!



and it would be a pity if it were ruined with a storm.

At last, James joined her. He was wearing a similar outfit, except his tee-shirt was not a v-neck and had a small, blue rose in the place of Jessie's 'R'.



VEGETA: Oh, too bad, James looks good in a plunging neckline.



"Ready to go?" he asked.

Jessie nodded. "It's time to show these Legendary Birds exactly what Team Rocket is made of!"



JESSICA: What did they ever do to you?



The two laughed, then realized they were acting the same as they had done when they were seventeen.



KASEY: That's not so bad, Angie acts like she's thirteen and she's twenty-one.

ANGIE: Kasey!! That was MEAN! (starts to sob like Usagi)



Then they loaded the Meowth Balloon and set off towards the heavens.



JESSICA: (sings) Flying high, in the sky, we look back and wave goodbye, as our spaceship is flying away!

VEGETA: Jessica?

JESSICA: (sobs) Help me! I'm singing BARNEY songs!

VEGETA: Oh God no!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



In his room, Tack shoved his Scyther's Pokéball into a small knapsack. He had to hurry if he was going to catch up to James. Vermillion was about two hours away by car. If they got there before him, the plan might not work. He slung the knapsack over his shoulder and raced to the nearest elevator. He waited for one to arrive, then took it all the way down to the garage.



KASEY: And he is driven more insane by the continuous musak.



"Ahh!" he squealed.



ANGIE: When did he turn into a pig?



"The Rocket Brothers Jeep!" He raced over to the car and hugged it. Anime tears gushed down his cheeks. "I remember when I was too young to drive you. But now..." Tack pulled a key out of his pocket and raised it over his head. "...I'm in charge!" He scrambled into the Jeep. It was so nice to sit in the driver's seat for once. "Ignition!" Tack chirped as he stuck the key in and turned it.



JESSICA: (Tack, whiny) Spaz Boy, AWAY!

VEGETA: (makes whiny grunting sounds as Tack tries to turn the engine)



The motor started. "Ecstasy!"



ALL: How sad!



He backed out of the garage carefully, barely scraping Giovanni's limousine. Then, out of the garage, he sped off toward the beaches of Vermillion City. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



KASEY: (cheerful announcer) It's the Vermilion beach ocean! Filled with poisonous Tentacool and Tentacruel, and be sure to watch out for all the toxic waste on the bottom. All brought to you by Rocket Empires. Rocket Empires: "We own you".



Holly ran across the beach feeling the sand squish between her bare feet. She watched Michelle swim back and forth. Michelle was an excellent swimmer. Her aqua-marine hair blended in with the ocean, and her body moved like the waves themselves.



ANGIE: (Hotaru/Holly) On second thought, those ARE just waves. Michiru!!!!



Gary sat on a towel tanning himself.



VEGETA: But since he's so pale, the sun reflects off his pure white skin and blinds any who look at him.

JESSICA: My trip to the beach.



He lifted his head and watched Michelle for awhile. It had been a long time since he had taken a break from his Pokémon journey. It was nice to relax. "That Michelle is certainly graced with the god Neptune,"



KASEY: Or Poseidon, whichever you prefer.



he said softly to himself, watching her dive. "Hey, Holly!" he called.

"Yes, Mister Gary?" Holly said running over to him. She wore a dark purple swimsuit.

"Why are you two here, anyway?" he asked, standing to his feet. Gary was wearing dark sunglasses that hid his eyes



ANGIE: . . . so the girls wouldn't see his bloodshot eyes, due to crack withdrawal.

VEGETA: That was low, Angie.

ANGIE: It was the only thing I could think of.



and black and red shorts.

Holly blinked. "Well...We just wanted to see how beautiful Vermillion was. We'd never been here before."

"It seemed pretty urgent just to be a vacation."

"Uhmmm..."

She was hiding something. That was obvious. Michelle also seemed to be wary. But he decided not to push them. He'd most likely learn whatever their secret was sooner or later. "Ah, nevermind! It's not important." The two went back to watching Michelle again. "She your sister?" Gary asked.

The young woman shook her head. "Nah! Michelle has a sister.



ALL: Ahem . . .



But they take care of me."

"What about your family?"

Holly sadly hung her head.



JESSICA: (Holly) My dad was killed during a battle against Mistress 9, and I almost destroyed the whole world because I'm the psychopathic Sailor Saturn . . . Oops, did I say that out loud?



Gary began to wonder if that was even the right question to ask her. "My father is...Was a professor.



KASEY: Farnsworth?



But now he's in a hospital trying to get better."

"What happened to him?"

"An accident," Holly replied quickly. Of course, she couldn't tell Gary how Mistress Nine had used him and caused an explosion in his laboratory. Super Sailor Moon had done everything she could to help them.



ANGIE: Unfortunately, he died . . . wait, damn, I'm thinking of the manga!



"And my mother died when I was really little."

"I'm sorry," Gary said. "And do you live with Michelle and her sister?"

"Yeah. And Susan...She's another close friend."

Gary smiled and then sat back down to resume his suntan. "How long has Michelle been swimming?"



VEGETA: (Hotaru/Holly) I dunno, how long have we been here?



"I'm guessing her whole life."

"She's very good."

"Yes."

She played and spun in the waves. It was almost like she danced with the creatures of the sea.



KASEY: (Michiru/Michelle) Ouch! Puffer fish! OW! I'm on a Man of War! Oh my, a shark and a sting ray.



The water was no enemy or obstacle to her. Michelle seemed to be at total peace when she was engulfed by a wave. Who were these mysterious people? Gary would find out. Michelle...It was almost like she was Neptune, the King of the Sea.



JESSICA: C'mon, NEPTUNE? She wouldn't be NEPTUNE, Gary. Try AMPHITRITE the wife of Poseidon, or she was like a Nereid. A mermaid even.



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



VEGETA: Then, the ocean suddenly froze over, trapping Michiru . . .



Chapter 10 - "Day-Tripper"



ANGIE: (stoner) Whoah, dude, the day is trippin'~



Tack was belting out a song that was on the radio.



ALL: What did the song ever do to you?



"She loves you! Ya, ya, ya!" He was so happy to ride in the Rocket Brothers Jeep. It had always been a dream to him. As he sang, he scanned the skies, hunting for James in the Meowth Balloon. This was so perfect! By harming James, he'd get to Jessie quicker.

But...The Boss had sent James out to look for the Legendary Birds. What if he suspected something when James didn't return? That was a question. He would search through Head Quarters and find any other people who were missing when the 'accident' took place.



VEGETA: The accident: He fell down a cliff and fell on some bullets.



Then he'd find Tack! Tack gulped. Everything was so risky...But he had to avenge his brothers and sister. They died, and he would join them if he had to.



KASEY: He shouldn't worry too much. I mean, Giovanni didn't seem to notice that Mary, Mack, Zack and Jack have been DEAD for four years, nor that Tack had been missing just as long. Hell, he doesn't even know that there is a giant rock pile outside his office.



He turned the radio to full blast and continued down the road to Vermillion City.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double...Because I won!"

"No way! I couldn't lose..."

James laughed as he held his cards in front of him. "Four Aces, Jess. The cards don't lie." He stood up and stretched.

Jessie pouted. "Not fair. I always win." She also stood up and buried her head on James' shoulder. "You should always let a girl win!"



JESSICA: (Jessie) Especially if the man doesn't want to sleep on the COUCH tonight.



"Why?" James laughed again. He hugged her. "It was just for fun anyway." Jessie glared up at him. "Oh, you're such a sore loser," he said, imitating her pout.

"James!" Jessie yelled. She pulled out her 'legendary' frypan



VEGETA: Not unlike the Legendary Birds.



and whacked it over James' head a few times. "Don't make fun of me!"



ANGIE: (Jessie) James? Are you all right? James?! Oops . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Hey, guys!" Michelle smiled as she met Gary and Holly on the beach. She was drying her hair with a fluffy yellow towel, which matched her tight, yellow bikini.



KASEY: Meanwhile, Gary has just passsed out from blood loss . . .



"Sorry to leave you two out here doing nothing."

"Nah!" Holly said. "We had a nice talk."

Gary nodded. "And besides, it looked like you belonged in that water. You needed to be there." He looked at her with respect.



JESSICA: (Gary) You swim with all the grace of a Psyduck.

Michelle's eyes widened and quivered a tad. He's too good, she thought. He may know something already.

Holly noticed Michelle's shoulders tense up. She quickly changed the subject. "Well, it was sure a great day to come to Vermillion."

"Ready to go home?" Gary asked.

"No!" Michelle and Holly yelled at the same time.



KASEY: (Hotaru and Michiru) Haruka beats us!

"I knew it!" Gary said, pointing his finger at the two women. "You're hiding something. Why do you need to be here?" Before the girls could answer, a large shadow fell over the trio. They looked up to see a large hot-air balloon hovering above them. Gary gasped. "It's that stupid Team Rocket. They try to steal Pokémon."

Holly looked up at Michelle and sighed softly. At least they got away that time. "Team Rocket?" Holly suddenly said. "That's what Serena said the name of her friend's organization was from."



VEGETA: For being an underground secret organization, they aren't that underground.

"Friend?" Gary growled, backing away from the two. "Any friend of Team Rocket is an enemy to me, and most of the entire Pokémon world. Those guys are wanted in every city!" He backed up to his car and pulled out several Pokéballs. "I'm warning you...Don't come near me."

"Mister Gary!" Holly cried. "We're not evil."



ANGIE: (Hotaru/Holly) Well, I was once, but that is irrelevant!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Look down there." James pointed to three people on the beach. "Think they're police officers investigating the Bird case?"



KASEY: Since when did Officer Jenny go out on duty in a tight, yellow bikini?



"Well, they're not going to find anything," Jessie yawned. "The Birds probably aren't even real, anyway..."

James stood straight up and turned on Jessie with fury in his eyes. "How dare you mock me, now! I was asked by our Boss to come out and catch Zapdos, Articuno, and or Moltres. You are telling me that they are a lie and that crushes me.



JESSICA: James suddenly turned into a noble from the Middle Ages.

VEGETA: (James) Thou art an artless nook-shotten canker blossum!



I'm honored that the Boss chose me. I'm honored!"



ANGIE: (James) I'm also honored if I find lint in my pocket, so it's no big deal.



He turned away from her. His shoulders were tight and fists and teeth clenched. "Damnit, Jess, you can believe what you want, but don't shatter MY dreams. I didn't have to let you come along. I asked you out of the sheer kindness in my heart. But now, I'm going solo."



KASEY: This is a scene from "Hamlet" isn't it?



Jessie's eyes wobbled. "James, I'm sorry..."



JESSICA: (Jessie) I'm a heartless bitch and I know it.

VEGETA: (James) Nay, thou art a rascally dog-hearted renegatho.



"I'm going solo!" James repeated.



JESSICA: (James) I don't want to be in the band anymore!



"After you've let me down, you can go home."

"But how will you get home?"

"I'll find a way," he hissed.



KASEY: (James) No, I said that wrong. After I let YOU down, you can go home.



Jessie stepped back and turned out to her side on the balloon. "You're just being stubborn," she said light-heartedly. She turned around to hug him, but he was gone. She looked down and saw James had taken the parachute out. Now, that was just plain mean of him, Jessie thought.



VEGETA: The words "You are a -bleepity bleep bleep-" was printed on the parachute.

KASEY: It was so bad it had to be edited?

VEGETA: Yup.



"I'll go home then!" she yelled after him angrily. "And you can sleep in your own room tonight," she added quietly to herself.



JESSICA: Hallelujah, there IS a God!

ANGIE: You're pissing off quite a few Rocketshippers.

JESSICA: Do I care, NO!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



KASEY: James miscalculated and landed in the ocean, and as he did so, he landed on top of Michiru, both of them got tangled in the parachute, and both drowned, the end.



James landed on the edge of the small cavern. As he was packing his parachute away, he saw the balloon turn around. Goodbye, he thought. Then he hiked up his gear



VEGETA: . . . and his boxers . . .



and prepared to enter the cave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"The Meowth Balloon!" Tack exclaimed as he picked up speed. Vermillion Beach was dead ahead.



JESSICA: Okay, who shot the Vermilion Beach?

OTHERS: Wasn't me.



He could see the large cruise liner S.S. Anne drifting on the water. James could possibly be in the cave already. In the distance he saw three sightseers. "Damn!" he cursed. Just what he needed...Witnesses. Oh well...



KASEY: He could shoot them, shouldn't be too hard.



The cave was now closer.



ANGIE: Since he's driving FORWARD, I'd hafta say that the cave would be getting closer.



Someone was up there. Keeping his eyes on the road, Tack opened his knapsack and pulled out his binoculars. "James!" he accidentally said aloud. Then he covered his grinning mouth. "I've got you now." He began to pull something else out of his knapsack.



VEGETA: (makes more whiny grunt sounds as Tack tries to remove object)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



JESSICA: (Tack) No, James! Don't bleed rivers of blood until AFTER I kill you!



"Look, we've never even met Team Rocket before," Michelle said. "We've just heard about them."

"I'm sure," Gary said. "Like you really would admit to who you are."

Holly's ears perked up.



KASEY: Now Holly's a dog!



"Look!" she said, pointing off in another direction. "A car!"

"A Team Rocket Jeep!" Gary gasped. "So, you brought me here to be surrounded by your little friends? Want my Pokémon that badly?"

Michelle shivered. "You don't understand..."



ANGIE: (Michiru/Michelle) I just got out of the water and now I'm freezing! Please, give me your towel.



"Hold it!" yelled a voice. They all turned to the Jeep.



VEGETA: Just as it ran them all over. The end.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



James froze in his tracks as he heard an all-too-familiar voice yell after him. "Hold it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Tack stepped out of his Jeep. "Hold it!"



JESSICA: (Tack) Hold it!

KASEY: (Tack) Hold it!

ANGIE: (Tack) Hold it!

VEGETA: (Tack) For God's sake, somebody hold it!



He was now standing close enough to the cavern to see James almost clearly. "James, you're a dead man!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Gary gasped. Michelle looked at Holly. They had to do...SOMETHING. "We've got to transform," Michelle said quickly.



JESSICA: (Hotaru/Holly) Or we could, y'know, call the police.



Holly nodded. "The Outers make their appearance!"



KASEY: AGAIN the Sailor Senshi are going to transform and fight against a non-magical person. What, did Usagi effect them with some kind of idiocy disease?

"Neptune Planet Power..." Michelle's nail's gained aqua nail-polish automatically. "MAKE-UP!"

"Saturn Planet Power..." Holly also gained polish, only a dark violet. "MAKE-UP!"



JESSICA: I don't care HOW loudly you say "make-up" I don't want to buy any!



The girls transformed into the Sailor Scouts. Gary looked over to them. "Holly...Michelle...?"

"Not now," Super Sailor Neptune shouted. "We need to stop that man."



ANGIE: Confused, Saturn uses her "destroy the world" power, and this time Sailor Moon isn't around to stop her.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



James turned around to face the beach. There was Tack. "And what are you going to do to me, pipsqueak?"

Tack grinned. He held up a small, shiny, black object. James cringed and a cold sweat fell over his body. Tack pointed the object straight at James.



VEGETA: (James) Oh no! He's got the invention that turns you into a spaz!



"Tack, no!" James yelled. "Put the gun down!"



JESSICA: (James) Put the gun down, man. You don't wanna do this, man.

KASEY: (Tack) You don't hafta worry. I don't know how to use it, anyway.

ANGIE: He'd probably shoot his own toe off.



"Deep Submerge!" The waves of the sea rose out of the water. Sailor Neptune turned them toward Tack. Before the waves crashed down upon him, Tack ducked out of the way.



ALL: ???!!!

VEGETA: He . . . ducked?

ANGIE: (whistles loudly) Illegal move!

KASEY: A giant, and I mean GIANT, spout of water is heading quite fast for Tack's small body and he DUCKS?

JESSICA: God, Michiru, what is your problem today? I just can't accept that.



"The Sailor Scouts," James said to himself. "So there are more of you..."

"Do not interfere," Tack said angrily. He shot the gun at Neptune.

"Look out!" Gary screamed. He quickly ran to Neptune and pushed her out of the way, barely graced with the bullet himself.



VEGETA: He was *graced* with the power of the bullet. hehe.

ANGIE: Wow! I have new found respect for Gary now!

JESSICA: He's better than Ash!

KASEY: Careful, you don't want to inflate his ego more than it is now.

"This is serious!" Super Sailor Saturn said.



VEGETA: Really? I thought it was funny and lighthearted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



From the Meowth Balloon, Jessie heard a gunshot. "Oh my God," she screamed aloud. "James!" She turned the balloon around and headed back toward the beach. "Why did I leave you alone?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Tack was now running toward the cavern. Gary and the two Sailor Scouts were following close behind. No. He would not let them catch up with him. He would not let James get away. Then he pulled out his Pokéball. "Scyther, I choose you!" he yelled, tossing the ball back at the trio.



JESSICA: (Saturn) What a pretty ball and--AHH!!!!



"Scyther!" Scyther growled.

"Damn," Gary said. "A battle!" He pulled out his own Pokéball. "I'll take care of this! You guys catch up with that Team Rocket member." Neptune and Saturn ran ahead. "Go, Arcanine!"



THE GIRLS: Awwww!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Now Tack was getting closer. James knew he had to head deeper into the cavern. However, the water was rising, and if he went in, there would be a chance of him drowning. He'd have to face the crazed Tack alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Get off my back, women!" Tack yelled.



ALL: Whoo!

ANGIE: I didn't realize he was such a ladies' man.



He finally reached the edge of the cavern. He pointed the gun straight at James, but was soon trounced by Neptune and Saturn.

"Drop the gun," Neptune screamed. Tack did as he was told.



VEGETA: Classic spaz reaction.



The girls released him. But then he punched them both square in the jaw. They fell to the ground, reeling in pain. Tack picked up the gun and aimed...

"No!" Gary screamed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



KASEY: O_o, too many scene change lines . . .



James heard an ear-piercing sound.



VEGETA: Even in different dimension he can hear Usagi cry.



Suddenly,



ANGIE: As if in a flash!



he was in much pain. He put his hand to his stomach. Red. There was too much red. He collapsed on the floor of the cavern.



JESSICA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! -gasp- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

OTHERS: (ears are safely plugged)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Jessie's eyes widened in horror. She gave a blood-curdling scream that the even the people all the way on the S.S. Anne could hear. "JAMES!"



[ Return to top ]



JESSICA: And watch James get shot again? NO!



______________________________________________________________________________



KASEY: That's James' heart beat.

JESSICA: (smacks her upside the head) That's not funny!

KASEY: Geez, calm down! It's not as if he truly died. He's outside in Room 7.

JESSICA: It's the principal of the thing!



Chapter 11 - "Nowhere Man"



"Major headache..."

He looked around. He was in a dark nowhere. He seemed to be sitting straight up, but there was no floor underneath him. Nor was there any ceiling above him. Everything was black.



VEGETA: Oh no, he's not going back to the Moon Kingdom AGAIN is he?

"Hello! Is anybody out there?"

No answer.

He rose to his feet. Or, at least he thought he did. Nothing around him was like any place he'd ever seen before. He guessed this was what it was like to be dead.

Dead! James was dead! How? Oh, yes...Tack. So the little squirt did pack a big punch. He began to run through space. Being dead was nothing like he thought it would be. He had no emotions, no feelings. He felt no joy, yet no sadness.

JESSICA: Ahh, he's in Limbo.

VEGETA: Everybody limbo?

JESSICA: Not now, Vegeta-kun.



He looked down at himself. He was dressed in his Team Rocket pants, boots, and black tee-shirt. No wounds. No scratches. He felt nothing.



ANGIE: (as Yakko and Dot) All is strange. Are we dead? Or are we in Ohio?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"James!" Jessie cried. She landed the balloon and ran to him. She clung to his lifeless body. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "No! Don't leave me. Not after we promised we would never leave each other."

Below, Tack laughed. Gary had grabbed him and pinned him down with his foot, but he still laughed.



KASEY: Gary broke his windpipe, he still laughed.



"You didn't think I could do it, did you Princess? But now James is with my sister." He laughed louder, like a maniac. "Mary will take good care of him for you!"



VEGETA: Oh-ho, he's spazzing out.

KASEY: I'll handle this. (pulls out rifle and aims. With a "bang!" a dart shoots out and hits the screen then it just sticks there.)

JESSICA: Baka, that's a SCREEN. Tack is a projection.

KASEY: I should have used it on you.

ANGIE: Nice try, though.

VEGETA: It's too high up, we'll hafta leave it there for the Blacksmith to get.



Jessie turned to him. "You damn bastard!" she yelled. "Screw you and your whole blasted family!" She turned back to James and continued yelling at Tack. "I hope you rot in Hell."

"I'd rather be in no other place!" Tack smirked.



KASEY: Hah, same here.



"That's enough of you, Team Rocket!" Gary said to both of them. He whacked Tack over the head and knocked him out. Then he lay him down and helped Super Sailor Saturn and Super Sailor Neptune to their feet.



VEGETA: Scoff, some Magical Girls they are.



"Alright!" he gasped. "What in the Sam Hill



JESSICA: Who's Sam Hill and why was he mentioned?



is going on here?"

Saturn looked up at him guiltily. "Mister Gary..."

"Who are you, Holly? Michelle?"

The two were about to answer when Jessie rose to her feet and interrupted them. "They are part of a group called the Sailor Scouts, beautiful Warriors who protect the earth.



ALL: Huh? Beautiful . . .



Their leader is Sailor Moon, my best friend."

Gary stood his ground in disbelief for a few moments. Then he began climbing the cavern to Jessie. "Friend?" he laughed as he scaled the cavern. "A Team Rocket lackey is friends with the famous Sailor Moon?"

"You've heard of her?" Neptune asked.

"Who hasn't?" the young Pokémon trainer said as he reached the top. "Not only is she in numerous video games, but she is the star of many television shows. Including a crappy dub done by DiC!"



ALL: CTR! If it's CRAPPY then WHY do you use the DiC DUBBING names?!



He walked over to Jessie and James. "What was his grudge?"

"It's a long story," Jessie replied sadly. She knelt by James again. "Tack's sister wanted James for herself, but she couldn't have him. I killed her and the rest of her brothers about four years ago. I thought I had killed Tack, but he just appeared out of nowhere." She cried and leaned on James.

Gary stood there sadly, nearly crying himself. "I'm sorry, although I know that doesn't help much."



ANGIE: (Gary) That bullet I was grazed with really hurts, I'm near tears . . .



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Where are all the Angels?"



JESSICA: (exaggerated) Charlie's Angels?

ALL: Wawawa-do-ing~

ANGIE: Sound effect fun.



James asked, wandering around. If this was Heaven, it should have been white and filled with music and Angels.



KASEY: Of course he's never been to Heaven before, so he wouldn't know, now would he.

VEGETA: He's in *another dimension*.

ANGIE: (James) Where's the white light? Isn't a dead family member supposed to meet me?



At first, he thought he was in Hell, but there was no fire or Devil. So, he had to be in Heaven...Right?



JESSICA: There was no light, and no God . . . where the -bleep- was he?



Then a terrible thought crossed his mind. What if he was stuck in between? What if it was not decided on where he should go yet? He was in Limbo!



KASEY: Don't ask me why, but I like "Purgatory" better.



This was a puzzlement.



ALL: (thoughtfully) Hmmmm . . .



He had been on Team Rocket all his life. That was his evil side. Yet, he was not like Bloody Mary-Evil.



VEGETA: Hey, cool, whenever we run across a psychopathic, obsessive killer, let's call them "Bloody Mary-Evil".



He had never killed anyone. He was also an item with Jessie, who was a Queen destined to help protect Crystal Tokyo with Neo Queen Serenity. That was his good side.



KASEY: So INSTANTLY he should go to Heaven?



"I'm a mixed-up case," he sighed.



ANGIE: He's like most average humans! How sad!

Suddenly,



JESSICA: As if in a flash!



he saw many people standing in a line waiting in front of a large gate. Curious, he walked up to it and stood in the back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



KASEY: Look how long that line is.

VEGETA: He's gonna be waiting for awhile.



"Let's write a song about death!"



ANGIE: Ack! Stop it with the beetles! They are just there to provide irony! Stop! (cries)

JESSICA: It feels like a Shakespeare play, doesn't it?

KASEY: ALMOST~



"No way."

"Haven't we written one of those already?"

"No death?"

"Absolutely not! Our job is to make people happy."

"Damn!"

VEGETA: Well, that was certainly happy.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Is there a James Roquet here? Roquet?"



JESSICA: (voice) We are going to go play "Roquet" ball and we need one more "Roquet".

ALL: (snobby laughs)



James ran to the front of a line that suddenly appeared in front of him out of nowhere. That seemed to be happening a lot. "Here! I'm present!"

A man at the front of the line was dressed in a sleek outfit, full of ruffles and buttons. He had a somewhat large nose and a big, bushy mustache that wiggled when he talked.



KASEY: Austin Powers in disguise?



In one hand he held a monocle. He placed it over his left eye and looked at the young man. "You, sir, are James Roquet?"

"Yes."

The man sniffed and handed James a card. "Sir, this is for you." James took the card and just stood there staring at the strange man. He sniffed again. "Yes, mister Roquet, you can run along now."

James moved to the side and read the card.



VEGETA: (reading card) How to keep an angel busy, flip to other side . . . How to keep an angel busy, flip to the other side . . .

ANGIE: Even though we used that joke already in Rocket Princess I, I still find it amusing.



"Inefficient..." he read aloud. "What does that mean?"



JESSICA: He never learned that word in vocabulary class.



Suddenly,



KASEY: As if in a flash!



a bright golden Light appeared in front of him.



ANGIE: Great Light's back! Cousin of beloved Great Tree!

VEGETA: If this turns out to be God, a few heads are gonna roll.



"I shall answer that for you, Neo King James."

"What?" James gasped.



KASEY: The Light said: "I SHALL ANSWER THAT FOR YOU, NEO KING JAMES!!!!!!"



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________



ANGIE: Even the streets in Heaven are maintained well.



Chapter 12 - "Elenor Rigby"



VEGETA: Elenor Rigby? What? Is this another Beatles song?

JESSICA: No clue.

KASEY: Elenor Rigby? Isn't she the wife of the man who founded Rigby, Idaho?

ANGIE: Maybe. Or maybe wife of the man who built Rigby Lake.

Tack was strapped in the back seat of Gary's car snickering softly to himself.



VEGETA: (Tack) "There's whiteout on the screen." Jeez, that's the funniest blonde joke.



Holly and Michelle sat up front with Gary while Jessie remained in the back holding James, glaring at Tack all the while. Oh, when she got him back to Head Quarters...



JESSICA: Ah, hell, why doesn't she just kill him NOW?



Most of the conversation on the way back to Team Rocket Head Quarters was silent.



KASEY: Silent conversation? What?

ANGIE: We should try that sometime.

VEGETA: I think you have to be a master at silent conversationing to be able to do it.



Gary, out of the small kindness in his heart, offered to give Jessie a ride back home. It would be dangerous if she were to try and navigate the Meowth Balloon back home. She was certainly in no condition to do that. It would also have been terrible if Tack had gotten free in the balloon. He could do another crazy thing.



JESSICA: Like release all the sandbags.



So much had happened to Gary today. His head was spinning with the numerous events and thoughts. By offering to help Holly and Michelle, he had mixed himself in a treacherous web. He couldn't possibly turn away from them now.



KASEY: Of course you can. Maneuver the car toward a cliff, hit cruise control and jump out of the car.



Not only would that be cowardly (And Gary would never want to be portrayed as a coward),



ANGIE: Just as a pompous SOB.



but it would be unjust. Helping Team Rocket was risky, but he felt as if it were his duty now.

The three in the front began to feel uncomfortable when they heard muffled sobs coming from the back seat. And, on top of it all, Tack laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Hello, Neo King James."

James looked from the card that read 'inefficient' to the Light that spoke to him. "Queen Jessica? Mother...In-Law?"



VEGETA: HER again? Why doesn't she just leave them alone?

JESSICA: It's a common mother-in-law thing.



The Light seemed to laugh.



KASEY: She SEEMED to laugh? So she could have been vomiting?



"No, my mother is not here." James' mouth dropped open. "Now, now, dear, it's not polite to gawk like that. It's not...Kingly."



ANGIE: (light) Close your mouth, you don't fly-angels flying into there.

JESSICA: He should be called "Neo KOIking James". Wouldn't that be weird?

KASEY: What's Koiking?

JESSICA: The Japanese name for "Magikarp".

KASEY: Ah.



The mouth clasped shut. The Light hovered closer to him and he could see a face. "Jessie?" he half-exclaimed, half-asked. "What are you doing here?"

The Light flickered and laughed again. "No! I'm not Jessie. I am her future self, however. My name is Neo Queen Jessica of the Star of the Moon Kingdom.



ALL: (Neo-Queen Jessica) I am the Queen of the Star of the Earth of the Pokémon Island of the Pikachu of the "R" of the Moon!



I have come to show you the Future."

"The Future?" James winced. He'd had enough excitement for one day. "I don't know if I want to go. I'm trying to get used to being...Living Impaired." 'Dead' was too strong of a word.

"But you're not supposed to be dead," Jessie replied. "Didn't you read the card? Inefficient means it can't work'. Your death just won't do in the Future."



VEGETA: (Neo-Queen Jessica) Or that you are also a failure in the afterlife.

"What's all this Future bull?" James yelled angrilly.



KASEY: (James) And why is this bull trying to charge me?



"That's all you seem to talk about. I'm dead, okay? I have no future!" He turned away from her and tried to cry, but then he remembered Angels could not cry,



JESSICA: Yet there are . . . (sings) . . . tears in heaven.



and he just stood there sadly. "I didn't want to die." He flung himself around again and shouted in Jessie's face. "I was murdered!"

"Yes..." Jessie said frowning. "Tack was not supposed to do that."

"Well, he did, didn't he?" James laughed. "Look at me!"

"Don't be angry."

"Oh, I'm not angry...I'm just fucking furious!"



ALL: WHOAH!!!!

ANGIE: That came out of nowhere!

VEGETA: Do they have soap in heaven to clean out his potty mouth?



Neo Queen Jessie watched him and touched his shoulder. "Just come with me, James."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"The world is full of lonely people, isn't it guys?"



ALL: (sadly) Yes . . .



"Yeah..." The four beetles sat around their house, a hole in the wall, sadly. One of them sat at a drumset softly hitting out a rythym.

"It's gonna be a lot lonelier for us if we don't think of an idea soon. They'll kick us out of the music society."



ANGIE: Ah, screw them and join Team Rocket. You know all their secrets anyway.



The one beetle who had tried many times to think of the perfect idea sang quietly to himself. "Ah, look at all the lonely people..."

Just then, the large doors to Team Rocket Head Quarters slammed.



JESSICA: Slammed what? Open? Shut? Into Persian? Did Joxer slam into them?



The insects all poked their antenea out of the hole to listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Tack, the Boss is going to kill you," Jessie whispered. "He does not tolerate murder."



VEGETA: Even though he originally intended for James to die as he went looking for the Birds.

KASEY: He didn't INTEND him to die. He was telling James to go 'coz if he DID die, it wouldn't be one of his best Rockets to die.

VEGETA: That's just a nice way to put it.



All the while, dragging Tack to the Boss, she cried. It was around one o'clock in the morning, and most of the members were asleep. Jessie bet Giovanni was as well, but she couldn't let this case get by her.

Tack yawned. "Aw, the Boss didn't care about you or James anyway. You guys have been flunkies since you were here." He was tied up well and being drug along the ground by Jessie.



ANGIE: The spaz shouldn't be one to talk. He and his brothers would have been nothing without Mary.



She ignored that last remark. The two were silent until they reached the Boss.

Jessie banged on his bedroom door. "Boss?" Silence. "Boss, please, open the door. It's an emergency!"

By this time, the banging of the hard, metal door had woken almost everyone on the first floor. They came out to see Jessie and the bound Tack.

Cassidy walked out in her pajamas rubbing her eyes. "Jessie? What's going on?"

Jessie whipped around to face the crowd. With fists clenched and fire in her eyes, she told them.



JESSICA: (Jessie) Help me! I've got fire in my eyes!



"Tack murdered James!" The other Team Rocket members gasped. Tears streamed down Jessie's

cheeks. "HE MURDERED MY PARTNER!"



ANGIE: It IS kinda sad, isn't it?



"That's right!" Tack laughed. "I did, and I'm damn proud of it." The other members glared at him and he began to worry. "But," he announced rapidly. "Jessie murdered my sister and three brothers."



VEGETA: Spaz. I say they should kill him and get over it.



The members looked from Tack to Jessie. Cassidy walked up to Jessie with a surprised look on her face. "Jessie...Four years ago Bloody Mary died. That was you?"

Jessie could not meet her face. She was silent for a long moment. Everyone awaited her answer.



KASEY: (Jessie) Of course not! Uh, how can _I_, flunkie Jessie, move a bunch of rocks? hehe.

"Yes." she whispered.



ANGIE: (Jessie) Yes! I killed her using magical powers, even though all I had to do was simply call the police!



"What's going on out here?" Giovanni yelled as he slammed open his doors. Persian followed behind.



ALL: Boooooo!

JESSICA: Who are we booing?

KASEY: Persian.

JESSICA: Oh, yeah. Boo!



He looked at all the members at his door. "What is the meaning of this?"

Butch



VEGETA: What mother in her right mind would name her kid "Butch"? That's an awful name.

ANGIE: He was probably teased a lot as a kid, thus resulting with him joining Team Rocket.

JESSICA: It's ALWAYS the other person's fault.



ran to Giovanni and told him the story. "Four years ago, the death of Bloody Mary and her four brothers was caused by Jessie." Giovanni's eyes bulged.



KASEY: Butch's English voice sounded SO horrible!



Butch continued hurriedly. "But, that's not all!



VEGETA: (game show announcer) But wait! That's not all!



Tonight, Tack murdered James." The Boss looked at the sad Jessie and then to the ground at Tack. "Is this true?" The two nodded, both guilty as a child who has just stolen a cookie from the cookie jar atop the refrigerator and has to face his mother.



JESSICA: I love those metaphors CTR uses.



However, this was far more serious. They were not dealing with cookies.



JESSICA: Ah! A breath of fresh air.



"Jessie...Tack..."

Jessie fell to her knees at Giovanni's feet. "Please! Mary was killed for a good reason!" she sobbed. "She was truly nasty and would have done something terrible to James. Tack took out his revenge on me by killing James. He is following in his sister's footsteps."



ANGIE: (Jessie) Come on, lemme change into my magical self and blast him to Kingdom Come.



"Do I really care about your childish stories?"



VEGETA: Hey, no dis Dr. Suess.



Giovanni boomed. His voice echoed throughout Head Quarters. At this point, the whole building was awake, including Meowth and his family. "Murder is a serious thing, Jessica,



JESSICA: I knew that already, why are you telling me this?

KASEY: Not you, Jessica. Jessie. (Jessica blushes)



especially if it is going behind my back. Killing teammates is no good for Team Rocket."

Tack cringed. Jessie's face fell and she cried even harder. Meowth walked to the front of the crowd and joined Jessie. "What's wrong?"

She looked at him pathetically. She knew she had lost. "Tack killed James."

Meowth's large eyes narrowed and he drew his claws. "You slimy bastard!" he yelled, attacking Tack with his Fury Swipes. "How dare you!"

Giovanni grabbed Meowth by the scrap of fur on the back of his neck. "Stay out of this, Meowth!" Meowth curled up like a tiny ball as Giovanni nearly threw him to the ground. Tack's face was soaked and dripping with blood.



VEGETA: That's odd. Meowth's Fury Swipes never drew blood before.

ANGIE: It's dramatic, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Dra-dramatic?

ANGIE: Sigh~



"I shall continue," Giovanni announced, silencing the talkative crowd. "Jessie, Tack, you are both banished from Team Rocket forever!"

"No!" Meowthy screeched.

"Sir," Tack cried. "I was only doing what a member should do! Revenge is sweet, remember?"



KASEY: He took his lessons from Ares.

JESSICA: (Ares a la "Bitter Suite") Vengeance can be such a hoot.



"Silence, fool!" the Boss bellowed, knocking Tack into the wall. He pulled Jessie to her feet by her hair. "You have one hour to pack up your Pokémon and get out. After that, you're in my hands." He then threw Jessie to the opposite wall facing Tack. "GO!"



ANGIE: The Boss has spoken! The Boss' word is law!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The rest of Team Rocket split apart as Jessie sadly limped down the hallway. Meowth and Meowthy remained by her side to help her if she fell. She was a mess; Her lower lip was bleeding and she had gained a dark, purple circle over her right eye. She said nothing, and cried no longer. She just walked to her room where she had left James' body lying on her bed. Jessie knelt by her bed and took his hand, now cold. She rubbed it against her face. Meowth led Meowthy and the kittens out of her room, but little Jessie the Meowth remained watching Jessie the human.



ALL: Awwwww . . .

VEGETA: In both senses of the word.

JESSICA: Sad "awwwww" . . .

KASEY: And cute "awwwww" . . .



There was Jessie, the one who had brought her back to life. There was James, the one who had named her. Both were dead.



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: This chapter didn't explain who Elenor Rigby was.

JESSICA: Kinda leaves you hanging, doesn't it?



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 13 - "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away"



ANGIE: I've gotta hide my bootleg Ranma tapes away.



When James opened his eyes, he was again in a brand new place. He looked around him. As far as he could see, everything sparkled and shimmered with a golden glow. Behind him, off in the distance, was a great, white building of some sort.



KASEY: Did he get in a time travel device and go into the future of Earth?

JESSICA: Me Jessie, me a Eloi.



He was also dressed differently. He wore a grayish-blue suit with maroon boots. He was also decorated with medals and sashes. All in all, James looked regal. He looked from himself to the building.

"That is your palace."

"Mine?" James looked up at Neo Queen Jessica who floated beside him.



VEGETA: It's all fake, you can see the wires attached to her.



"What do you mean 'mine'? I own nothing this fancy."

The Queen laughed. "This is yours in the Future."

"Again with the Future...?"

"I have brought you here to show you what happens." She took his hand and led him closer to the palace.



ANGIE: How did Neo-Queen Jessica get past Sailor Pluto to do this?



There were two large doors in the front, each containing a bright, red 'R' carved on them.



KASEY: "Restricted." No one under the age of seventeen can enter this palace.



Near the top was a symbol much similar to Jessie's Star-in-a-Crescent-Moon sign.



JESSICA: Seems kinda high up to put a door knocker, doesn't it?



Pillars outlined the entire palace and garden.



VEGETA: Captain Jessica, Kasey, can I have pillars outlining my room?

JESSICA & KASEY: No.

VEGETA: Darn, maybe I'll ask Cleo . . .



"You and Jessie live here in the Future together as King and Queen. Right now, Neo King James is away."

"King? ME?" James gasped.



ANGIE: (James) AWAY? No way.



He looked down at his costume again. "I'm too clumsy to be a King, and I cannot imagine me off running royal errands."

"No," Neo Queen Jessica replied, taking his face in her hands. "You are Neo King James. You do not have Powers equivilant to her's, but you are her husband."



JESSICA: (Neo-Queen Jessica) You fetch the royal groceries.



"HUSBAND?" So, he did marry her after all. He nodded slightly. "Okay..."

"I know this is hard for you to understand. It may take a while to sink in, but it all happens. The Future is inevitable."



KASEY: No it's not. It could all change if James doesn't return to life.

VEGETA: It can change if an evil entity succeeds in taking over the past from the future.



James walked away from her. He watched the ground beneath his feet as he entered the palace gardens. There, he found a patch of green grass surrounded in red, white, and blue roses.



ANGIE: I bet you the SoD garden is prettier.



He sat down and pulled up a few blades of grass,



JESSICA: This joke again? Yay! (blade of grass) Ow!!!! What do you think you're doing, dickweed?

KASEY: (blade of grass) No! Not Paul!

VEGETA: (blade of grass) Julie! I shall return to you one day-- (gasp, die)



pondering everything that had just been said to him. Neo Queen Jessica joined him. "Hello," he said.

"I just saw you a few seconds ago," she laughed. "What are you thinking about?"

He pulled up more grass



ANGIE: (blade of grass) I regret nothing! Aaah!



and did not meet Jessica's eyes. "Jessie."

"You miss her."

"Yes."



JESSICA: Even though she's right there.



Jessica was silent for a moment and sat down beside him. "You will go back to her," she said, taking his hand and squeezing it. "It is good you care about her so much."

James smiled and then laughed a little. "It's kind of silly, when you think about it. I mean, you are Jessie!" Then he looked at her face. Yes, she was Jessie. He nearly cried while gazing at her. "May I kiss you?"

At first she was surprised, but the sadness in his eyes touched her in such a way that she could not refuse. He so much reminded her of her James who was away.



KASEY: This may be a long shot, but is it because he IS James?



She wrapped her arms around him gently and kissed him softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



VEGETA: The kiss must have been too graphic, so CTR cut it short.



"You're leaving?" Meowth saw Jessie standing at the entrance to Team Rocket Head Quarters with a small suitcase of her belongings. "You were going to leave without saying goodbye to Meowth?"



ANGIE: (Jessie) I don't like you, go away!



Jessie's face was bright red from crying. She knelt down, dropped the suitcase, and held out her arms. Meowth ran to her and hugged her. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't want you to be upset."

"Meowth would have been upset if you had left without saying goodbye first." He cried and nearly dug his claws into her gently. "We'll all miss you."

"Make sure James has a proper burial, okay?"

"Promise."

With that, Jessie stood up and picked up her suitcase. "Sayonara, Meowth-chan." She walked out the door.



JESSICA: (Meowth) Au revoir, ma chére Jessie.



She hadn't gone but ten steps when Meowth called to her. "But, where will you go?"



KASEY: (Meowth) What will you do?



"I don't know," she replied,



KASEY: Oh.



turning around and facing him. "Maybe I'll find Serena and she could hook me up with a job."

"Don't ever forget Meowth..."

She turned around and ran back to him, taking the little Pokémon in her arms. "I would never!" she sobbed. "You're my best friend." She put him down and looked at her watch. "But I really must go now." She began running from Head Quarters. Meowth shouted something to her, but she did not make out what he said. She kept running and never looked back.



VEGETA: What did Meowth shout? We may never know.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Tack grabbed his Pokéballs and some clothes and bolted downstairs. He was about to run out the door when someone grabbed his shoulder. "Hold it!"



ALL: Hold it!

ANGIE: There's a lot of "hold it" in this 'fic.



He turned around and saw a familiar face standing there. "Cassidy?"

She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him into the wall. "If you so much as lay a finger on Jessie out there and I find out, I swear I will kill you, pipsqueak!" He numbly nodded and tried to leave, but she stopped him again, this time throwing him harder onto the wall. "I'm serious, jackass! Don't touch her. Have I made myself clear?"

"C-crystal..."



KASEY: We all love our local spaz.

Cassidy threw him out the door and slammed it in his face. "Kicking Jessie's ##### is my job, anyway," she whispered to herself.



JESSICA: Time out. So it's all right for James to say "fucking" but it's pure evil for Cassidy to say "ass"?

ANGIE: Don't think about it.

JESSICA: It WAS making sense up to that point.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Gary Oak



VEGETA: Cousin to Lenny Spruce and nephew to Auntie Birch . . .



reached the town of Pallet early the next morning. He was tired, but too engrossed in the thoughts of everything that had happened yesterday. A replay of the events zipped through his mind over and over again.



KASEY: Unfortunately, he didn't have "Zip" on his hard drive and he didn't get much.

JESSICA: He needs to download that file.



His head spun. After he had dropped Michelle and Holly off, he had prepared to go home and sleep. Now that he was home, he realized that he was not ready to go to bed. He parked his car in front of his grandfather's laboratory and went inside.

He walked into the empty lab and turned on the lights. It took them a few minutes to fully turn on.



ANGIE: Professor Oak was using up all the electricity to microwave a burrito.



Gary went to the large row of file cabinets and looked under the 'T' section. There it was. Team Rocket. He pulled out a few files from that section and walked over to Professor Oak's desk. There he sat and began to read.

Heinous crimes. Dirty deeds. Terrible acts. Stealing. Plundering. Even murder.



VEGETA: Sigh~ (dully) Even though Giovanni didn't tolerate murder . . .



Yes,



JESSICA: . . . was an Eighties band . . .



this was all Team Rocket. However, what he had seen showed a different side to the gangsters. It was a side no one had probably ever seen before. The side of their hearts.



KASEY: They've been spending most their lives living in a gangsters' paradise.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Jessie traveled from Head Quarters alongside the freeway and began to wonder how to get to Serena's house.



ANGIE: First you go to Wisconsin and try to find the Great Tree that lives there, then ask him to open a portal to the Sailor Moon Universe in Tokyo . . .



If she could make it to the next town by nightfall, she could look her or Endymion up and call them. She began to feel weary and dizzy, for she had been awake for almost twenty-four hours now. She needed to rest.

She sat by the side of the road to catch her breath. Jessie remembered she had packed some water. Thank goodness! She reached over to open it up, but it began to bounce and move away from her. She rubbed her eyes to make sure she was not dreaming. "Hey, suitcase!" Jessie shouted. "What are you doing?"



VEGETA: (Jessie) Oh great, just what I need. Playful ghosts.



It jumped up and down and continued to avoid her. Finally, she grabbed it and opened it. Two large eyes peeked out of a shirt sleeve. "What?"



JESSICA: I didn't say anything.



"Jessie!"

Jessie grabbed the shirt and shook it. A tiny Pokémon fell out and purred. "Jessie-sama! Hello!" "Jessie?" Jessie asked, taking the runt of Meowth and Meowthy into her arms. "What are you doing here?"



ALL: Awwww . . .



The kitten purred loudly. "I came to be with you."

"But what about your parents? They'll be awful worried when they find you gone."

"That doesn't matter! You're the important one right now, and I felt you needed some company."

"You're very foolish!" Jessie laughed. "But I'm so glad you are." She hugged the small Meowth close to her. Her only token of Team Rocket Head Quarters was enough for now.



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: Hmmm, if I do that, can I keep Jessie-chan?



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 14 - "I Feel Fine"



Laughter was heard among the beautiful garden where the grass grew green and the sun shone in the sky.



KASEY: Dammit, is Usagi and Mamoru making out in my Great Tree's branches again? Hand me the hose, Mako.



Neo King Jessica and James played in a small fountain decorted with water Pokémon, including Magicarp.



JESSICA: Me like jokes like that.



Both were soaked to the bone, splashing and running through the cool water.



ANGIE: Jessica, can we get a fountain in the ship's garden?

JESSICA: But we have a lake in it, why do we need a fountain?

ANGIE: We have a lake?

JESSICA: Didn't you know?

ANGIE: I didn't even know that the SoD had a garden until recently.



Jessica slipped and fell.



JESSICA: I did no such thing!

KASEY: Jessica . . .

JESSICA: What? I didn't!

VEGETA: That would be a danger of having a fountain, anyway. Young Usa and Sasami might play in it and someone will fall and break a hip or a neck . . .



When James ran past her, she grabbed him by the legs and pulled him down with her. They laughed.



ANGIE: (James) I chipped a tooth, but it's fun!



"I haven't had this much fun in a long time!" James sighed, dunking his head in the water.

"Yeah...Nor have I," the Queen said softly. She bent over James and kissed him on the nose. "What do you think of your Kingdom now?" she giggled.

"Wonderful," he replied. "But I'm afraid I've ruined my Kingly attire." He stood up and wrung out the small cape connected to his shoulders.



KASEY: Poor guy, they surgically attached his cape to his shoulders.



"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she laughed, standing and joining him. "They're your clothes to do with what you please. Besides, you have plenty more royal outfits."

"I do?"

"Yes. Come on inside! We'll get dry and I'll show you the rest of your 'Kingly attire'."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Tack set off on his journey in a totally different direction from Jessie's. He would not be able to kill her, but that was no matter. He had killed James and had his revenge.



JESSICA: But now she has a baby Meowth to help her move on.

ALL: Awww . . .



He laughed menacingly. "I did it! I did it! Ha ha ha!" He walked for miles, not caring if he was hungry or tired. He had taken out his revenge, and that was all that mattered.



KASEY: (whisper) . . . Trashcan-man . . .



He came to a small town. A familiar-looking town. Ah, yes. He had been in that cafe before. He decided to stop by and have a cup of coffee. When he entered he shouted at the top of his lungs. "I have returned! Remember me?" The commotion stopped and all eyes turned on the crazy man in front of them.



VEGETA: (customer) Oh, great, it's that fricken spaz again. Just ignore him.



Tack walked up to the counter. "One cappacino, please." he grinned.



ANGIE: (Tack) I feel like getting hyper off coffee!



He picked up a newspaper and began to read it.



JESSICA: (Tack, struggling as he reads) T-to-to-d-d-ay, th-there w-wa-was . . . Aw, screw it.



Everyone again went to what they were doing.

After he finished, he left the cafe and set out to find a new job. He saw a woman walking across the street. She looked like a business woman and might need to hire someone. "Hey, lady!" he called. "You need a good serial-killer?" The woman screamed and ran off. "I wonder what her problem was."



KASEY: That's what I listed on my résumé. But then again, I was asking for a job at "Thugs-R-Us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The four, saddened beetles cried that day. Not because they couldn't think of a song, but because their friends Jessie and James were gone.

"I really liked those blokes," the Elder sobbed.

"I have another idea for a song."

"Not now!"

"Hear me out, bro...Why don't we write a song about life in general? A song that talks about everything we've been through?"



VEGETA: (beetle) Sitting here and trying to think up songs while life passed us by . . .



The others looked at him with tears in their eyes.



ANGIE: Tears in their little, tear-ductless eyes.



"A song dedicated to Jessie and James."

They all smiled slightly. "Mate, that's an excellent idea," the Elder said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "Blimey! That's exactly what we'll do!"



JESSICA: (another beetle) But, sir, I hate Jessie and James!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



James sat at a large table fit for a feast with a small cup of hot coca. He felt tiny next to that table.



KASEY: Then again, he felt tiny compared to a Caterpie. (Jessica backhands her) OUCH!

JESSICA: Sorry, reflex.



Neo Queen Jessica got a fire going in a fireplace and joined him. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah."

She put her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands,



VEGETA: Ahem, elbows OFF the table . . .



gazing deeply at him. He was so handsome, so fair. There was a familiar charm about him that she couldn't remember where she had seen it.



ANGIE: Perhaps from FUTURE James?



Nevertheless, he was a fine man, this James she had taken from the Past. Jessica stood up and grabbed him by the arm, laughing. "Want to see your wardrobe now?" James nodded, and she pulled him upstairs.

They entered a very large room, adorned with the finest linen and furniture. Jessica ran to a door and flung it open. "What room does that lead to?" James asked.

"Silly, it's the closet!" she giggled. "Inside are your other outfits." She pushed him forward and sat down on the bed.

"Are these all mine?" he exclaimed. He ran inside and looked at all the suits. They were nothing like he had ever seen before. Amulets, jewels, sashes, and silk. Everything was overly-fancy.



KASEY: Like he was fruity or something. (covers head so as not to be hit by Jessica)



Such colors he had only seen in a box of crayons.



JESSICA: (Garfield) You want color? Go buy a box of crayons.



Outside, Jessica fell backwards and closed her eyes. She was so happy. "Try on anything you like, James," she sighed.



VEGETA: (Neo-Queen Jessica) Except for the dresses, of course.



His head popped out from one of the sides.



ALL: Ack!



"What room is this? Is it yours?"

She stood up and sauntered over to him slowly. "Actually, it's ours..."



ALL: Ick!



"Ours?"

"Yes...Yours and mine. Our bedroom."

He quickly got what she was getting at and blushed. "Aw, Jessie-chan..."

"It gets very lonely when my husband isn't home," she mock pouted. Neo Queen Jessica again sat on the bed, taking out her earrings and kicked her shoes off. "Tonight, would you like to lie in a bed, fit for a King?"



ANGIE: (like Joel) Absolutely not!

JESSICA: James is cheating on Jessie with Future Jessie . . . well, I SUPPOSE that's all right.

KASEY: Austin Powers flashback.



[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: . . . of insanity! Bwahahahah! Ahem~ sorry . . .



______________________________________________________________________________



Chapter 15 - "In My Life"



JESSICA: In my life, I wanted to accomplish several things. Become a superstar, write Pulitzer prize winning books, draw popular comics, maybe write and act in a funny TV show or movie, but NO I had to be stuck in this hellhole of a Satellite.

KASEY: Well, at least me, Cleo and Angie are here for you.

JESSICA: I want my mommy!



Tack had filled himself to the brim with happiness as he exited the local bar. "La la la!" He ran out into the streets, singing at the top of his lungs. "I am da eggman!



ANGIE: Isn't that a guy from Ranma 1/2? . . .



Goo goo gajoob! Boy, whoever wrote dat song ish a pure genious!" He smiled and grabbed the edge of a wall so that he wouldn't fall over. He laughed and rubbed his face.



VEGETA: (Tack) Aw, man, do I have bugs crawling all over me again?

KASEY: (Tack) It seems that I have to take a knife and try to stab them off.



He continued walking. Walking and walking until he came to the street. He set one foot out. A car whipped past him. "Whoa!" he laughed. "That was sure close fer me!" Then he continued into the street. No cars were coming.



JESSICA: At least that his drunken mind could register.



He sat in the middle of the road and hummed his song.

Lights. He saw large, yellow lights coming toward him. "Ah!" he squeeked. "The Angels have taken pity on me. Farewell, world!"



KASEY: (James) Goodbye, Growl-huh . . .

JESSICA: (Growly, howling) GROWL-uh! GROWL-uh!



He stood up and held his hands out to his sides, welcoming the Angels. The lights came closer and closer.



ANGIE: Just his luck, it turned out to be a UFO looking for new human specimens to dissect.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Jessie and...Jessie slept in a small hotel just on the outskirts of the city. They slept until about twelve in the afternoon and then went out to lunch. Jessie was glad to have some company, even if it was a Pokémon. She needed someone to talk to and the daughter of Meowth was a lovely friend.



ALL: Awwww . . .



"Do you think you'll ever return to Head Quarters?" Jessie the Meowth asked.



VEGETA: (Jessie) If I'm asking for a death wish, sure!



"I can't," Jessie said. "The Boss would never let me, and I'm not sure I want to return." She looked at the Meowth who seemed a tad disappointed. "Of course," she added brightly. "You can go back, if you want."

"No way!" Jessie-chan purred. "I want to stay with you forever."



JESSICA: I wonder, does Jessie-chan look like her mother?

KASEY: Let's pray none of Meowthy's children came out looking like her.

ANGIE: Especially one of the boys.



Jessie smiled. "But won't you miss your family?"

The Meowth sadly lowered her head and nodded. "I already do."

"Then maybe you should go home..."

"No!"

"Alright."



VEGETA: Well, that was easy.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Neo Queen Jessica awoke the next morning in the arms of a man who was not her husband.



JESSICA: Even though he WAS her husband and . . . I'd better stop before I blow a fuse.



He looked like her James. He sounded like her James. Still, he was not her James. Just like Tack murdering this man, this was not supposed to happen. She cursed herself silently and softly edged out of bed, as to not awake her partner. She pulled on a turquoise bathrobe and walked downstairs.



KASEY: (Neo-Queen Jessica) Pu's gonna kill me.

ANGIE: (Pluto) You have disrupted the order of time and space . . .

VEGETA: (Pluto) Now it's time for mild-mannered Pluto to open a can of whoopass on you.

The fire had died out long ago, but the embers still glowed. She walked to the table and sat, burrying her head in her hands and sobbing. "Damn!" she said. "I...What I just did..."



KASEY: What's the damage? Am I the only one confused by this?



Footsteps. She turned around and saw James standing in the hallway. He looked at her sadly. He was wearing the same expression she was.



JESSICA: Unfortunately, no robe like she was.

OTHERS: Oh! (shields eyes while Jessica stares)



"Jessie..."

"I'm sorry!" Jessica cried, running over to him. "This was never supposed to happen."

"I know," he replied, taking her in his arms and comforting her. "It's alright. I forgive you."



VEGETA: What'd she do? Push him too hard last night?

ANGIE: Vegeta . . .

VEGETA: When I get confused I say nasty things, forgive me.



"I should have taken you home immediately," she said. "We never should have even come here."

"I want to go home," James said. He took Jessica by the shoulders and held her out in front of him. "I want to see my Jessie again."



KASEY: Argh!

JESSICA: It's just as confusing as that Sailor Moon episode when they went into the future, and no one could seem to get into their heads that the people with same names as them WERE them!



Jessica nodded and cried. She touched his face. It was similar to her husband's, but not as rough. It was so much younger. "I will take you to her."

He took her hand off his face and just held it for a moment, looking back at the Queen. "You are so like Jessie."



KASEY: SHE IS JESSIE!



"And you are so like Neo King James."



KASEY: (sobbing) HE IS!



They stood there gazing at each other for a long time. Then the symbol on Neo Queen Jessica's forehead glowed. "I return you to Jessie. Wherever she is, you will be..." She kissed him on the cheek. "Goodbye, James. I love you." As he began to fade away, the great doors to the palace slammed open and trumpets sounded.

"Jessie! I've returned..."



VEGETA: The trumpeters musta seen a lot last night if they just stand there waiting to trumpet.



The Queen ran to the front of the house, brushing away tears and sadness. "James!" she said, nearly pouncing her husband.

Neo King James laughed and kissed her. "And how did you make out while I was gone?"

"M-make out?!?"

"I mean, how did you get along?"

She grimaced and got a head full of sweatdrops. "Uhhh...Fine."

He just shook his head and continued holding her tightly. This man was Jessica's James.

ALL: Hahahah . . .

VEGETA: Infidelity is funny.

ANGIE: Wait a minute, if this happened to James, then wouldn't the future self of James remember how Jessie cheated on his future self with his past self?

JESSICA: Let's not create a time paradox, here.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Jessie sat at the table with Jessie the Meowth. They had filled their bellies well and were satisfied.

"Can I get you anything else, ma'am?"

She groaned at the waiter. "No, I've had my share, thank you. Just bring me the bill."

"The bill for what?"



KASEY: (Jessie) The bill for my face, what do you think?

"For my meal! What else?" she growled and looked up at him. Her eyes widened. "Oh my God...It's you!"



ANGIE: It's . . . HIM.

JESSICA: (shudder) Don't mention HIM ever again . . .



The waiter grinned and pulled her out of her seat. "Miss me?"

"James!" Jessie exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and smothering him with kisses. "Oh my God. Oh my God! You're alive!"



ALL: Awwww . . .

JESSICA: Tender moment. (clench)

"You can't kill James Roquet that easilly!" he laughed. "Nor Mrs. Roquet either."

"Mrs.?" she gasped.



VEGETA: (Jessie) James, did you marry me while you were dead?



James nodded. Jessie squealed and hugged him even tighter.

Jessie the Meowth's eyes filled with tears. "James-sama!" she said. "Mommy and daddy will love to hear you're alive!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



ANGIE: And the tears of love and happiness form a river . . .



Meowth sadly plodded up the stairs to Jessie's room. Now was the time for the dirty work. He entered and gasped. "Where's da body?"



KASEY: (Meowth) I left it laying there for only a week! What could have happened to it?



He looked up and down Jessie's former room. James' body was nowhere to be found.

He ran throughout Team Rocket Head Quarters asking people if they had seen it.



JESSICA: It's kinda sad when you lose a whole body.



No one seemed to know of its whereabouts, not even Giovanni. Meowth approached Meowthy. "Great," she muttered. "Now, not only have we lost our daughter, we've lost James..." Then her eyes lit up. She remembered that Jessie was able to come back to life a while back. So...

"What am I gonna do?" Meowth cried. "Now, I'll never be able to fulfil Jessie's promise."

"Meowth-chan!" Meowthy gasped. "James-senpai is alive!"

"What?"

"I'm sure he's alive. He must have been brought back to life by Neo Queen Jessica!" Meowthy smiled.

Meowth's eyes watered. "Ya know, Meowthy, I think you're right." He hugged her close. "And I'm sure little Jessie is with them, and happy."



VEGETA: (Meowth) I'm so glad you're more clever than me, Meowthy!



The two Pokémon held each other closely and purred. Yes, Meowth had a feeling he would see his friends again someday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



High overhead, golden wings fluttered. An icy tail swished through the sky. Wings of fire soared through the heavens.



ANGIE: The Birds! I forgot about them!

JESSICA: They were like the main focal point of the story. What happened to them?

KASEY: They ran amuck and permanently damaged the Earth's weather.



Three figures flew back to Vermillion Beach. They entered the cave and sealed the entrance, never to be set free again.



The End



VEGETA: That was . . . confusing.

ANGIE: More like a let down.

JESSICA: Hmmmmm . . . I dunno, despite it's lengthiness, I'd hafta say Rocket Princess II was better than both One and Three.

KASEY: Definitely more than Three.

ANGIE: I wonder if there will be a Four?

VEGETA: Don't mention it to Rob, or I will kill you.

JESSICA: He'd probably find it anyway.

KASEY: The adventures of Jessie and Jessie, on Rocket Princess IV. Don't miss it!

ANGIE: Ah, well, maybe the epilogue has more of a tying end than this "the end".

[ Return to top ]



VEGETA: No thanks, even though it went by fast, but . . . no.



______________________________________________________________________________

Epilogue - "Yellow Submarine"



ALL: (sings) We all live in a yellow submarine! We all live in a yellow submarine! . . .



"La di da!"



ANGIE: That's not how it goes!



"Just keep walking, junior. The nice jacket will keep you warm and cozy."

"I...I have perdy wings like a butterfly!"

"Yes, yes. I'm sure you do."

"And my wings fly me high into the air! Everyone will appreciate me now."



JESSICA: The break down of Al Gore.

OTHERS: What?

JESSICA: George W. Bush had been whooping him so badly in the elections, he just went insane and he became more- ahem- emotional.

KASEY: Oddly enough, he became more popular after that.

"Uh huh...Listen, you're going to stay in this custom-made cell for criminals like you."

"Good! My friends will come with me. They're all aboard my submarine which flies on butterfly wings like mine."

"Yes, Tack. You may bring your friends with you. In ya go..."



VEGETA: The spaz's last cling to life.



And so, Tack lived happily ever after in his sea of green where his band began to play. His friendly bugs would come and visit him.

"We all live in a yellow submarine! Hello you lovely little bugs. What kind of bugs are you? You look like beautiful black beetles with butterfly wings."

The four beetles looked at each other and all got sweatdrops. "Uhhh..."

"This kid is totally wacko..."



ANGIE: (Wakko) No, I'M Wakko!



Tack grinned. "Let's all sing! We all live in a yellow submarine..."

"He's out of it," one beetle said.

"Hey!" one small beetle said. "This time, I know what song to do!"

"What? Now?"

"This kid may have something. Let's write a song about a submarine that sails into the sun, and stuff."

"Nah!" The leader waved him off. "I mean, who in their right mind would make up a song about a Yellow Submarine?"



ALL: Ha?



[ Return to top ]

______________________________________________________________________________

HOME

______________________________________________________________________________



ALL: . . .

ANGIE: That . . . That was it?

KASEY: -crack!-

JESSICA: Uhhhhh . . .

VEGETA: Well, uh, I GUESS I'm glad it's . . . over.

ALL: (shake their heads clear)

ANGIE: Oh well, maybe it might all come together in Rocket Princess IV if CTR writes it.

JESSICA: I actually wouldn't mind reading it, on my OWN time that is. You hear me Rob?

(all stand up and start to leave)

KASEY: And the lesson of this fanfic?

VEGETA: Don't be a spaz. Dire consequences can come from it!

(all exeunt, except . . .)

ALL THE GIRLS: (poke heads in from off to side) MITCHELL!



~*~*~*~*~*~



Vegeta, Jessica and Kasey sat in front of the Comm Port, watching as Rob Tapert found a pen to write with. He looked up and noticed them all waiting. Clearing his throat, he reached down to pet Persian, but then he remembered that he was still in the E.R. "So, uh," he scratched his orange hair instead. "What did you think of Chibi Team Rocket's new classic, 'Rocket Princess III'?"

Vegeta turned his head away from Rob in contempt. "I think you know MY review. It still hasn't changed from the last two Rocket Princess 'fics."

Rob rolled his eyes and wrote "He hates chick 'fics," on his review form. "The rest of you? Jessica, you usually have good reviews for CTR."

"Since I had read only half of it, I didn't know what was going to happen, and so I found it spontaneous. Yet, uhm, the ending . . ."

"Yeah, the ending . . ." Kasey repeated, rubbing her temples. "It was too confusing for me. The past and the future, the Beetles, the ending. The use of 'fuck' and then #### out 'ass'. The only good of it, the lack of Usagi and Mamoru in it."

Rob wrote all this down, then he noticed someone was missing. "Where's Angie?"

Jessica shrugged. "I dunno, she told me what to tell you then she ran off saying that she had to go see Karigari. She said that Rocket Princess III wasn't as good as its predecessors."

Rob scribbled all that down, and then smiled cruelly. "I'll be checking on her site often, to see if she writes any new fanfic. I heard that she has plans for another story. Maybe it might be Rocket Princess IV." This produced a groan from Vegeta, which he derived pleasure from. "I have a store of fanfic for you, so be prepared for pain. And keep up the good work, the ratings on my inter-dimensional webpage is soaring!"

Kasey sneered. "Glad to be of service."

"Good day!" Rob laugh maniacally, then clicked off the Comm Port, saying, "I wonder if my Persian-Wersian is all right yet . . ."

Meanwhile, Jessica was twisting around, searching for her cousin. "Why did Angie need to go see KARIGARI for? You figured she would go to Bardok during his guard duty . . . If the guard Arcanine would let her close to the soldiers while they WERE on duty."

Kasey stood and stretched, plodding off and passing by Cleo who was running towards her owner. "Uhm, I seem to remember . . ." She turned around and walked backwards towards the Captain's Counter.

"What is it, Kasey?" Jessica asked, picking up the calico and setting her on her shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, Karigari has these helmets he wanted to test out in space, and Angie volunteered." She reached the counter and glanced inside it. "Hey! Where's my art pad? Somebody took it! Where's that kleptomaniac that name's everything she steals with French names? . . ."

She ran off in time to miss Jessica's explosion of, "Angie WHAT?!" She spun on her heel and ran for the nearest airlock. If anything went wrong, like the helmet didn't work, or that Rob thought she was trying to escape, she would be killed! In the hallway of Curve A, she found Karigari, along with Lieutenant Britain who was guarding this particular airlock. They were both staring out the window. Jessica rushed to the young scientist's side and shoved him out of her way and into the tank policeman. "Where's Angie! Where is she!"

She glanced at Karigari to read the subtitles. "Don't worry, she's safely tied to Marie out there with one of the jetpacks. If the rope breaks, she can use that pack."

The human Captain, the cat Captain clinging to her shoulder for sheer life after the run, grabbed Karigari by his labcoat. "You idiot! She doesn't know how to use the jetpack! She hasn't been here long enough for you to train! Hell, half the time she's been in the theater or lost in Curve C!"

Karigari shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing should go wrong."

"Yeah," the huge policeman by them nodded, continuing to look out the window. "The helmet seems to be running properly."

Jessica stared out the window and peered up. "Are you sure, Buritain-san?" She squinted her eyes. She spotted the pink haired robot, Marie, hanging onto ladder rungs that were on the side of the ship. Around her waist there was a rope made of a substance Jessica couldn't tell if it was hemp or nylon or wire or what, but on the other end was Angie, floating out in space and spinning about, never having been in zero-gravity before.

"Oh-ho . . ." Britain muttered, along with a small gasp from Karigari.

"What? What is it?" Jessica shrieked, pressing her face closer to the window, pressing Cleo against it while she was at it.

Karigari was now regarding a small visual screen beside the airlock. "Camharpy, get outside camera seven online," he ordered and instantly a closer view of Angie and the rope was shown. "Oh, my."

"What?" Jessica shouted again, as Cleo and Britain looked apprehensively outside.

"The rope is breaking!" Karigari shouted. While Jessica screeched in horror, he pushed another button, the intercom, and said into it, "Angie, your rope is breaking, turn on the engine on the pack!"

"What?" came her voice. "I'm afraid I don't know Japanese, Karigari!"

"Shimatta!" he yelled, realizing the subtitles doesn't go through intercoms. Instead, he clicked another button. "Marie! The rope is breaking, pull her in!" And since she understood Japanese, she began to do so, much to the confusion of Angie.

Then, Kasey stepped into the hall, smiling and holding up her notebook. "That one girl took it into the garden and named it 'Francois'. Got it back from her, with the help of my faeries . . ." She paused, and blinked. "Oh, yeah, Jessica." She stood by her and pet Cleo who was still perched on her shoulder, but neither seemed to register that she was there. "Uh, the Doom Tree told me that she got a message from the Great Tree in Wisconsin. It seems that a portal opened right near the satellite."

Slowly, Jessica's head swiveled around and she stared wide-eyed at the redhead. "What?" she said heavily, as if she was stressed to her limit.

"There's a portal near the Satellite of 'Dite. I think Doom Tree said by Curve A . . . Hey, we're in Curve A, aren't we?" She glanced out the window. "Oh, and look, there's Marie, and Angie, right by the portal. Can't you see it, right behind them, the black mass there, with no stars in it?"

The brunette shoved Cleo into Kasey's arms and she ran over to the intercom and pressed the button connecting to Angie. "Angie!" she barked, her voice taut. "This is Jessica!"

"Oh, hi! Look at me! Isn't this cool? Whee!"

"No, it's not when a portal just opened behind you and your rope is breaking and you don't know how to use that jetpack!"

"There's a portal behind me? . . . Ooo, neat. I wonder where it'd take me? And I can so too use this pack! I'll show you and save Marie some trouble of pulling me in. . . ."

Jessica heard Britain say, "She's turning on the jet while facing toward the portal . . ."

"If she does that," Kasey realized, "she'll yank the rope and break it off and fly into the portal!" She looked at Jessica. "What is it with your family, Jessica? Are you all natural born idiots or something?"

And just as the brunette was going to tell Angie to stop turning on the engines, Marie's voice came on screaming in Japanese, and at the same time she heard Karigari say the same phrase. "What happened?"

Kasey looked at her again, and shook her head sadly. "She broke the rope and she just disappeared."

Britain shrugged. "Angie was right about one thing. She DID know how to use that jetpack."

Jessica groaned and pounded her head on the wall. "This has NOT been a good day . . . First toilet duty, then having to review, then finding out half of Curve B was destroyed yesterday, Diana is still missing, so is Toma and Serapa, and now Sailor Moon, Ash and the wizard-dude is lost . . ." She lifted her head and mused, "I need to learn the names of my crew. For goodness sake, we've been living together for a year." She shook her head and returned to the business at hand. "Okay, if Rob doesn't kill us for losing a test subject, Angie's mom will! Or maybe my dad will come back and haunt me! That would stink!"

"That'd be scary," Karigari replied, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Wasn't your dad six foot five?"

Instead of answering that question, Jessica gripped his labcoat again. "Okay, Karigari-san. You are going to do something for me. Get the other helmet and another suit, and the other pack. Kasey, get James. I'm gonna run to my room real quick."

"Why?" all three asked with a "mew?" from Cleo.

"I'm going after Angie."

.............

Karigari, Marie, Britain, Kasey, James and Cleo all waved goodbye from the window located by the Deck Two, Curve A airlock. They all watched as Jessica, exceeding speeds that were dangerous for a human to go wearing a jetpack, disappeared into the portal.

"Well," Kasey sighed as she shrugged. "That was certainly an exciting afternoon."

James' eyes were large and glistening with tears. "She'll be all right, won't she?"

"As long as that portal stays open," Karigari said, patting James' shoulder, "then we should be able to keep in touch with her and Angie and they should make their way back easily."

Britain nodded. "The Captain's tough, she can make it."

Cleo just gave a painful purr and hid her face in Kasey's hair. James sighed as did Kasey. Kasey sighed in frustration, however. "I hope Jessica comes back soon. Me and Cleo can't handle all of you alone. Cleo just handles the animals, me and Jessica used to split the duties between the humans. Without her here I'll hafta deal with all you lag-abouts."

"Hey!" everyone but Marie exclaimed.

The robot, instead, tugged on Karigari's sleeve. "Buronitaa . . ."

"Nan datte?" he asked, turning back to her. She merely pointed.

And much to the alarm of everyone, they saw the portal shrink, expand, then snap close.

" . . ."

"Oh . . ." Kasey began, ". . . ho . . ."

"Dammit!" Britain exclaimed as Marie gasped and clasped onto her silent creator's arm.

"Rrow?!" Cleo howled, then she began to sob and cry out huge kitty tears.

James exclaimed and began to cry much like Cleo did. "You said she'd be all right!"

"I said if the portal stayed open!" Karigari replied, pale in the face.

Kasey fell to the ground and sat there for a bit. "Oh, great, now what? What am I going to do? Who's gonna tell Bardok? Who's gonna tell Rob?" She felt tears fall onto her from both the feline and the blue-haired boy. "Who's gonna shut these two up?"

What will they do? Who knows . . .



The End



______________________________________________________________________________

So, what happened? Well, Kasey told the whole crew, everyone sobbed and cried because Jessica was the fave Captain. Well, everyone was upset, I don't think everyone cried. Then they told Bardok when he came off guard duty. He took it calmly and went to go kill a few Deadites with Ash the Demon Hunter. Kasey had to tell Rob, since no one else would. He didn't take it well, and he said once he traced where the girls went, he would send them a painful fanfic. So, what exactly happened to Jessica and Angie? It'll explained in the next two episodes, and I must warn you, this adds more to a crossover and BOY will it be weird! I like the idea though, and if nobody does then they can go do something with themselves. It's my fricken 'fic I can do what I like. Bwawawa! Oh, sorry. ^_^ Uhm, well, oh yeah. The ending to Rocket Princess III. It left you thinking "What the heck just happened?" Sure everything turned out hunky dory, but what happened to Tack, why were the Beetles with him? Why were the Beetles even in it? I thought Jessie was supposed to FIGHT them. The Birds, why were they so important? That swearing thing bugged me. I don't mind swearing, hell, I do all the time, like I just did there, but I don't use the "F-word", and then having JAMES of all people say it, and then go and #### the word "ass" which isn't as bad? I just found it odd, but that's CTR's 'fic and she can do what she damn well pleases. It was sad, 'specially when James died, but I personally thought Rocket Princess II was better, but I'm not saying this one was bad, I've read much worse . . . wait until what you see coming in Episode Four. Take my friend Amber, add in Team Rocket, Ash, Pikachu and "Brook", mix in a bit of Serena and Darien, and top it all off with Super Bowl tickets and cosmic rays and you got the next 'fic! Did I mention that Amber's only seen one episode of Pokémon and I'm guessing only a couple of Sailor Moon? Wait until you see her Xena/Team Rocket Crossover. It has three of some of my fave guys, Joxer (drool!), Autolycus (so handsome), and James.

Now, for a somewhat serious note, Mystery Science Theater 3000 ran it's last episode on August . . . eighth was it? But it did, and I am sad. It's such a wonderful show, and some of my friends who I introduced it to only saw a few episodes then EVIL Scifi takes it away! JessieRocket's a big fan of it, but she's only seen three or four episodes. At least they'll be playing reruns till 2000, which isn't that long off, but I found that they're gonna play Devil Doll and that is THE best episode during the Scifi era. (I'm never watching Scifi again after they stop playing reruns. Besides, MST3K was about the only show I watched. I watched Anime movies, but they play the same one's over and over, and when I was bored I watched SeaQuest and Quantum Leap and that was about it. Why do I need to keep going back once it's over?) But, go, and enjoy those reruns! Remember, if you haven't seen it, it's new to you! Oh, and Suncoast sells old episodes. I suggest Pod People (the potato joke and the "McCloud!" joke is funny), Cave Dwellers and Mitchell. (That's where that one song the girls sang often came from. Mitchell is played by Joe Don Baker, one of the ickiest and sweatiest and chunkiest actors you can find in bad "action" flicks. The song was played during a sex scene in the movie, and first Joel spotted baby oil and they all scream in horror and Joel does a weird hair flip thing, Servo starts to puke, Crow sings along with song, saying "My my my God NO!!!!!!" and then Servo cries. And you would have, too, if you had seen what we had seen. -shudder- Then they played it during the end credits and Joel does one of the cutest little dances both me and Maelstrom have ever seen!) But, what I'm getting at before you all shoot me, MST3K was a really good show, excellent, I've been watching it since I was five or six years old and I will miss it a lot. But I recorded several episodes so I'll have a few memories. ^_^ MST3K, long live MST3K!

And right now I'm listening to a really cool Oldies Japanese song. I heard "maru" but I don't know what it means. >.<

And Jessica being the most popular Captain, just for the record, was thought up by Maelstrom and NOT me, so don't think I'm being an egotistical SI author, (even though I am, heehee).

And here is a short thingie from "Pod People". Joel is singing:

"Where is that clown for . . . me? . . . I love you, Tom Servo."

SERVO: (sob) "I love you, Joel!"

JOEL: "I love you Crow."

CROW: "You're not my real father!"

JOEL: "What do you think, sirs?"

MADS: (smile and flash "okay" signs) "It . . . stinks!" (pushes the button) -foosh!-

Jaimielée Rocket, the Queen of SI Fanfics and Nightmare For All MSTiers, signing off.

______________________________________________________________________________



c Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom



"We would advise you to stay inside until we figure out what has caused this phenomenon to occur. It probably has something to do with the cold front in Nebraska, but we're not sure yet."



(Next "week's" Episode:

"Episode Four: The SuperBowl Tickets, Old and New Version,

Why Does Jessica Keep Being Mistaken for a Boy?")