"The Satellite of 'Dite,

the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"

By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom

Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!

Smut: Uh~ debated

Violence: There's a nice fight between the two Ashes and Freeza!



"Episode Six: Snapshot!,

Kasey is Tortured by Both Fanfic and James,

and Cleo is Still with that Case of Depression"

Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. "Snapshot!" belongs to Chibi Team Rocket. Oh, and all the bad guys, Rob-tachi, sort of belong to me, the idea of them torturing us. But Professor Prime and so on ARE mine, so stay away!!!!! (Isn't Prime kawaii-est of the kawaii?)

Quick Notes I: This fanfic has Team Rocket in it, but it doesn't star Team Rocket, so to center it more on Team Rocket, the review team will consist of Kasey, Vegeta and Jessie and James!

A Big Thanks: Thank you Chibi Team Rocket! I feel the need to thank you so much 'coz you are so nice to me, yet here I am riffinging your lovely stories.

Notes: Hey, any of you "Rocketshipper" people who are reading this, I believe Jessie and James should be a couple, (hey, read my episode review thingies and the No-Life Sailors and you'll see), but I decided on the SoD they AREN'T a couple, but Jessica and James are and so they both have different results facing the nice little make-out scenes in here. James, sobbing, always says, "I miss Jessica!" and Jessie gags and has seizures. And no, I'm not fulfilling some sick dream, but there are only two guys on TV that I think are so cute, James and Joxer, and since none of the cast of Xena are on the SoD, I hafta use James! God forbid that I actually want to act upon these things!

Things I Hate: I hate my thesaurus thingie on my word processor. In the beginning host segment, there's this exciting fight, and I wrote it all down. It wasn't too long, only two pages, but it had a lot of long paragraphs and neat stuff, then Rob called, and I needed another word for "dismally". Well, I clicked onto the thesaurus but it won't accept words with the suffix "-ly" at the end, so I had to make it just "dismal" and I found the word "dreary". I told it to replace "dismally" with "dreary" and then write after it did that, I was changing it to "drearily", but I wrote to fast after clicking out of thesaurus and a little box clicked up saying "This computer has been performing an illegal action" and it closed on me and I didn't save the fight sequence! I HATE that! Don't you! Argh!



~*~*~*~*~*~



In the far corner of Room 7 of the Satellite named after Aphrodite, there is a new addition. A nice big ring, built for several types of fighting. Sumo, ki fights, pro-wrestling (everyone enjoys it when Mini-Me, now fully recovered from the poison, battles against people larger than him), martial arts, or just all-out bashing each other's brains in. Ever since it was built, just the day before, in fact, no one has left it's vicinity, unless if to go to the bathroom, or eat and drink. At that moment of time, all the quickly made bleachers were filled with people, and the floor around the ring was full, and even the area above the ring was full of the people who possessed the ability to fly.

In the center is Ataru, from Urusei Yatsura, holding one of the karoke mics and wearing black pants, a white dress shirt and a red bowtie. He was acting as the announcer, and off to the side, leaning on a pole, was Leona from Dominion Tank Police, in her bunny suit and holding a bunch of round counter cards. In the far left corner, in her flying contraption, was Freeza, smiling smugly and glaring at everything for no particular reason. Everyone in the audience are in an uproar, for they were waiting for the other fighter to make the scene.

Camharpy was filming the fights, and the film was being linked to Rob's inter-dimensional website for viewing pleasure. Kasey popped into the side of the screen, holding onto a sobbing Cleo. "Hi-lo, welcome to the SoD and the new and improved Room number 7. For some reason, ever since Angie and Jessica left, everyone's been in a scuttle, all sad, or angry, and even celebrating that the happy girl and the Captain have disappeared. In an attempt to release all that pent up energy, people have begun fighting. To make it more 'fair', (and to make a few bucks), I told 'em to build this ring. Since Jessica isn't here, she can't deny my request! Bwahahahah! Well," she reasoned with herself, "she probably woulda helped build it herself with gusto . . . -sniffle-" She shook her head, and continued, "So, moving along, the main event of the fight is about to begin. Ash has challenged Freeza to a fight, saying that he was much stronger and could whoop his ass. But when Freeza accepted this challenge, Ash mysteriously disappeared! We are all waiting for him to show up. Shall we get closer to the ring?" Camharpy followed her as she pushed her way through the throngs of people and animals until she reached the edge of the ring. The little monster flew higher up, to film Ataru, who had begun announcing.

"In this corner," he declared, doing a sweeping gesture toward the alien, "is Freeza! Weighing in at--" he blinked at the card he was holding. "Well, he weighs a number that I cannot read 'coz it's in another language. But that's Freeza! We are now waiting for the challenger, Ash, to show up so we can get on with the main event!"

There was a faint, "Darling!" floating into the room and over the clamor of the crowd's angry voices.

"Ah, here comes Lum now, with Ash!"

Zipping through the aisle came the bikini-clad alien, carrying a squirming and crying Ash Ketchum in her arms. "No!" he wailed. "It's not me you want! You want the OTHER Ash! The OTHER Ash! The Deadite killer-er-er-er!"

Ignoring the little boy, Lum straightened and lighted gracefully onto the ring, setting Ash down, who immediately tried to run away, but she threatened him with her blue lightning to stay right where he was. "Here you go, Darling!" she said happily to her fiancé. "I found him for you."

"Good job, Lum," he smiled, ready for the fight of the day himself. "In this corner," he gestured to the cowering boy as Lum took off, "is the challenger Ash! Weighing in at--" He eyed him over. "Sixty-two pounds, I have to say."

"Hey!"

"Anyway, let the fight begin!" He stepped back and out of the center as Freeza jumped out of his flying thingie and as Leona circled the ring, holding up a "Round 1" card. She stepped out of the ring and the signaling bell was struck.

Grinning, Freeza advanced, his fists glowing a dangerous color. Sweating profusely, Ash searched frantically around for help, and finding none, he shouted out the only thing he could think of. "Pikachu! Thunder Attack, now!"

But before the yellow rodent could reach the ring, Freeza bombed Ash with his ki, and he was thrown out of the fighting area, quite unconscious. Misty and Brock appeared, took hold of him, and carried him out.

"Well," Ataru breathed out, coming back to center ring, "that was a simple fight, wasn't it? Barely lasted ten seconds. Well, I suppose that makes Freeza the--"

"Hold it!" Ataru spun around and found a taller, older and more handsome Ash jump over the ropes. "Sorry I'm late. Had some -ahem- business to take care of. But, I'm ready to fight!"

"Hold on, YOU were the one who said you could beat Freeza in a cinch?" Ataru inquired, tugging at his bowtie.

"Yeah, why, did you send in the OTHER Ash?"

"Uh, yeah." But then the boy cheered up, and said in the sunny announcer voice, "But I'm sure Etoh can bring him back from the edges of death! Well, what say for a more spectacular fight, ne?" The crowd roared in delight. "Okay! You two, to your corners." Freeza went back to his, and Ash to his. As he waited, he revved up his chainsaw and loaded his sawed-off rifle.

Kasey appeared off to the side of the screen again, asking the watchers of the fight, "Who will win? Freeza, the alien who can use ki, has purged a couple of planets, but mostly made his minions do all the work, killed Bardok and a couple of those minions, and lost a fight to Goku and Friends? Or will Ash, the man who has killed hundreds of Deadites, including three girlfriends, a sister, and guy friend, a greasy man and his girlfriend, who defeated an army of darkness, killed his evil clone TWICE, and has been protecting us from Deadites ever since then? 'Coz believe you me, Deadites have a real knack for getting into satellites and turning Aninites into Deadites. As you can probably tell, I lean more toward Ash. Let's have a gander." She disappeared from view as Camharpy returned to filming the fight.

Leona once again walked the perimeter of the ring, holding up the card, and the bell dinged, and the fighters leapt into action. This was a more intense fight than the one with Ash Ketchum, as one could probably guess. As Freeza threw ki ball after ki ball, Ash danced around him, possessing the gift of quickness and agility, and slashed at the alien with his saw and shot at him with the rifle. Of course, he became pretty bloody and bruised up, too, but it seemed as if both of them had met their equal. But then, in a fit of fury, Freeza exploded into his true form, the shiny metallic one, and everyone gasped. Was that fair, or unfair? Kasey gulped, and almost went back on her assumption that Ash would win. But he still held out well, still delivering blows and taking them. Finally, after the fourth round, Freeza was fed up and he used what energy he had left to literally blow up. There was a loud explosion and a crack as the ring floor gave way, and dust and debris flew into the air, hiding both Ash and Freeza from view.

Once it cleared, no one could be seen. Fearing the worse, Ataru approached the large hole cautiously and peeked in. He could only see Freeza, laying face down in all the junk, back to his less powerful form. But where was Ash? There was a squeal from above, and everyone below glanced up to see Lum pointing at the demon hunter who was gripping a bulkhead edge with his mechanical hand. Grinning broadly, Ataru pointed up and proclaimed, "Ash the Demon Hunter is the winner!" With a grunt, the man landed beside the boy and bowed, shutting off his rusty chainsaw. Leona joined by his other side, encouraging the audience to clap.

Raising his arms in the air, Ash shouted, "Give me some sugar, baby!"

Worried, Ataru kind of jerked back. "M-me?"

Dully, Ash replied, "No, not you, idiot."

"Me?" Leona asked hopefully, for Ash is quite the handsome man.

"No, but maybe later. Check back." He handed her a card with his room location, and happily, she skipped off. "I mean YOU!" He turned and pointed to a startled Kasey and crying Cleo.

"Me?" the redhead asked, pointing at her nose. (The habits one picks up hanging around Japanese characters.)

"Yes, you!"

Blinking, she answered, "No!"

"What? C'mon, please!" He came up to the ropes she was by and kneeled, poking his head through.

"No! Why do you want ME to?"

"Well, Jessica's not here, and she would do it in a second. Plus, I want to brag that I was kissed by a Captain, 'coz only James can claim that he had been." From the crowd, one can hear a faint sob and a "I MISS JESSICA!"

Thinking for a bit, Kasey held out the calico that was draped on her shoulder. "I'm sure Cleo would! She's a Captain."

Ash sighed, and responded, "Well, it's better 'n nothin'." He turned his cheek to the cat and she gave him a quick lick and returned to soaking Kasey's back with tears. He stood and walked off, muttering that he would be over at Etoh's Room to get healed, then he would be at the bar.

That was the last fight of the day, so everyone began to disperse and leave, heading to the food court to eat or whatever these people enjoyed. Freeza was carried off to Etoh, and the hole in the ring was left for the Aninites to take care of. As Kasey and Cleo passed by the Comm Port, it began to beep, and the screen clicked on. Kasey jumped back as Mister Tapert's face appeared on the screen. Strange, he wasn't wearing his usual Armani suit, but a fishing hat and vest and rubber, hip-high boots. "Hello, all my sad little servants of evil."

". . . Hi . . ." everyone returned, uninterested, as they did every time he called.

Kasey's eyes widened with sparkling hope. "Rob! We haven't heard from you in awhile! You were locating Jessica and Angie?"

The man nodded. "Yes, I was," he sighed dully.

"Did," she paused, as if thinking the next question over cautiously. "Did you find them?"

Rob nodded again. "Yes, I found them, but I'm afraid it's going to take awhile to get them back."

"What?" the shimmering hope faded from her voice. "Why not?"

"Well," Rob sighed once more. "They are in an E-D."

"Entertainment Dimension?"

"Yes."

"But that shouldn't be too hard!" Kasey exclaimed. "You got all these characters, why not them?"

"Well, one, the machine is designed to get TV characters, not R-D people, so that's an adjustment I would have to make . . . Plus, the people transporter was--" he coughed and tried to muffle the next phrase behind his hand, "--destroyed."

"WHAT!?" Kasey shrieked with a howl from Cleo.

"We didn't think we'd need it again! If all of you proved useless we were going to keep you lost in space, and never let you home again. The Japanese and Americans can pump out new cartoon ideas, why do they need these ones."

"But the me in the separate timeline sort of needs the Austin Powers characters to make the movies!"

He shook his head. "That's too confusing to even mention, Kasey. But, what makes it even more difficult, Jessica and Angie are in space as well, and for some reason that makes the people transporter work strangely. If we had it and opened it for the area we THINK they are in we might accidentally suck in a planet."

Kasey scratched her head. "In space? Are they still wandering around with the helmets and jet packs?"

"No, they are safe on satellites."

The redhead paused as she thought this over. As Cleo meowed in shock, Kasey realized what Rob meant as well. "You mean, they're in E-Ds and on SATELLITES . . . They're with Mike and the 'Bots on the Satellite of Love!" She felt as if she were going to pass out.

"Yes, and no. Jessica is with Mike, Angie, however, is with Joel."

Cleo began to cry again and Kasey felt like doing that herself from frustration. "Well, you obviously didn't call us just to tell us that . . . Don't tell me it's fanfic time already?" she groaned, Cleo's sobbing grew louder.

"Yup, I need some cheering up."

"What's the matter, o exhaulted one?" the redhead asked, handing Cleo over to a random person that passed by.

As he answered, she wrung out her tear soaked shirt. "Well, first, Persian is healed from that battle with the Primeape, but half of his fur is missing." The classy cat stepped into view of the Comm Port and Kasey burst out laughing. There was fur missing from the top of his head, all of his right foreleg had no hair, half of his hind left leg had no hair, and various patches were missing all over the body. The cat hissed and walked away. Rob sighed and resumed. "Then I charter this boat to take me to Maiden's Peak, for it's festival time and that Gastly should be there, but the captain got drunk and fell off the side. I would have saved him but . . . he seemed like he could take care of himself." Kasey rolled her green eyes and gestured for him to continue. "So I needed someone to steer the boat, 'coz I sure as hell don't know how to maneuver these big things. My new Primeape said he knew how, so I let him and, well, frankly-- he's not as smart as I thought he was. We're hopelessly lost."

"I thought you said he was smarter than you thought." Kasey stated matter-of-factly, throwing it into his face.

"Well, he's smarter than most Primeape's, but not by much. And to make matters worse, all I've been catching today on my line are Magikarps!"

The Captain was about to reply that that was a real bummer, when I harsh, yet dumbishly slow voice called from off to the side on Rob's boat, "Hey, Boss! What was I supposed to do again?"

Pattering in from off the side was your basic, red-eyed Primeape, with a pig-nose, boxing-glove shaped hands and wild fur, but what was different was that he wore a pair of glasses and an adorable little waistcoat. "Oh!" Kasey squealed. "It's so cute! So cute, it's making me act like a giddy little girl!" She squealed a bit more before slapping some sense into herself. She shook her head, and addressed the Primeape, "So, what's your name? I'm Captain Kasey."

He spoke, even though she couldn't see the mouth move in the sea of fur, "I'm Professor Prime! Professor for Primeapes!"

Rob sighed while Kasey smiled. "You're so adorable."

"I know," he huffed, accepting the compliment, but still looking like he was very pissed off.

The orange haired man turned to Prime and yelled, "You are supposed to be steering the ship for Maiden's Peak!" It took a moment for that to sink in, but when it finally did, Prime nodded and wandered off to the bridge. Rob turned back to the Comm Port and he held up a disk. "This fanfic is from our dear friend Chibi Team Rocket."

"You're kidding." Kasey face faulted. "You have got to be kidding. Rocket Princess IV?"

From somewhere in Room 7, Vegeta dashed in, sobbing. "Please, Robu-san! No more Rocket Princess! Chick 'fics go home!"

Rob smirked. "Maybe if you bowed . . ."

"Bowing, sir!" Vegeta fell to his knees and began to do the "I am not worthy" type of bow.

"Good." He stuck the disk into the inter-dimensional computer and sent the 'fic up to Camharpy. "It wasn't a chick 'fic, anyway."

Vegeta halted his bowing and stood up, his body flaring blue from indignity. "It wasn't?!"

"No, it's another fanfic by CTR, a much shorter one and starring some kid name Todd. It's called 'Snapshot!'. Enjoy!" With a click and a voosh, the screen went blank.

Vegeta's glowing stopped and he stood, ashamed and with his head lowered. "I'd might as well read this one, too, since I've read all of CTR's other stories. Just as long as it ain't a chick 'fic I think I can survive."

Kasey patted his shoulder. "That's mighty of you, Vegeta-sama. I'll go in with you. I need to get my mind of Jessica and Angie."

They turned toward the theater door, but a voice called out for them. They glanced over their shoulders and they found Jessie running up to them, dragging a lifeless James behind her. "Hold up!" She stopped in front of them and she held James upright. "James is awfully depressed. He won't snap out of it. See, watch." She slapped him across the face. His head jerked, but he didn't blink or complain. "I think reading a fanfic will make him better."

Sniffing, James finally said something in a dull voice. "Jessica used to read fanfic."

"See what I mean?"

"How sad," Vegeta commented. "Yeah, come on in. The more, the merrier."

Jessie smiled at him. "Thank you!"

That's when the fanfic sign went off, and they all rushed inside, James still being dragged behind.



~*~*~*~*~*~



(all enter, Vegeta takes the fourth seat, Jessie sits next to him, sitting James next to her, and Kasey sat in the first seat. The screensaver flickers off and the fanfic title appears.)



Snapshot!



JESSIE: Vogue! Strike a pose!

KASEY: (Austin Powers, while taking photos) That's it, baby! That's it! Yes! Yes! YES! (pretends to throw camera behind her) That's it, I'm spent.



By Chibi Team Rocket



VEGETA: Oh, she took off the Squiggly Lines from her name.



[header type pix by Slimu is shown, of Todd holding onto a

camera and looking serious, on CTR's site]

(cannot be shown for technical reasons, yaddayaddayadda)



JAMES: (blinking) Is that? Is that that little brat that said would "capture" Pikachu for us?

JESSIE: You're awake, James!

JAMES: Where am I?

KASEY: In the theater. We're reading a fanfic starring Todd.

JAMES: Todd, what's so great about him, the little weasel?



Prologue



KASEY: I dunno, should I do that Star Wars gag?

VEGETA: No.

KASEY: Okay . . .



A Pokémon journey.



JESSIE: . . . gets kids out of school for a real long time.



Sure, that's okay for some people. Go around. Snag Pokémon



JAMES: Augh! *SNOG* Pokémon?!

KASEY: No, SNAG Pokémon.

JAMES: Eww, SNAGGING on Pokémon?



in a tiny red and white ball. Use them for fighting, pets, or just collecting.



VEGETA: Or making dinner out of them.

JESSIE: That reminds me. Have you seen my Lickitung lately?

VEGETA: Uhhh, no . . .



Me. I am a Pokémon photographer. It's what I like to do. I don't believe Pokémon should be disturbed. That is why I catch them with a camera.



JESSIE & JAMES: Grrrrrr . . .

KASEY: (Todd) That is why I run into Pokémon's homes and go "click click CLICK" all the time with my camera.



Battle. Badges. Rivals.



VEGETA: Lovers.



None of them are for me.



VEGETA: He doesn't want a lover when he gets older? How sad.

JESSIE: I dunno, sounds like a day in the life of me.



I get the most adventure out of looking for the perfect shots. I don't need a Pokéball. I don't need Badges.



JAMES: He won't get very far ahead in Boy Scouts unless if he doesn't get a couple of badges.



Heck! I don't even need my own Pokémon. Just give me a camera, film and a tripod.



KASEY: . . . a pony keg . . .



I'll survive on those alone.



VEGETA: (Todd) I boil the film in water and I cook the tripod over a fire. It makes good eatin'.



Now, I'm on my own journey - A journey to catch the best Pokémon ever taken on film. My adventure is just as dangerous as any Trainer's.



JESSIE: No it isn't.



But I don't care. As long as I've got my camera, I'm happy.



JAMES: Beautiful soliloquy Todd, but ultimately I think you should kill yourself.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 1



"Bye, Todd!"



KASEY: What, no goofy chapter titles?



shouted a young boy with dark eyes and hair. His blue overcoat flew in the breeze as he waved goodbye to his friend. "I hope we meet again someday."



VEGETA: (Todd) Oh, don't worry, for--

ALL: (sing) We'll meet again! Don't know where, don't know when! But we'll meet again some bright and sunny day!



A small, yellow Pikachu clung to his back.



JESSIE: It's him! Get him!

(Jessie and James ran at the screen, hit it, and fall back on the floor.)

VEGETA: Idiots.

KASEY: Oh, come now, Vegeta-sama. Last fanfic you tried to eat Usagi and met with the same fate.



"Me too, Ash," the other boy shouted back. He wore a striped shirt and shorts.



JAMES: (sitting back in seat) It's a convict!



Around his neck hung what seemed to be a very expensive camera.



VEGETA: Actually, it was one of those cameras you buy from Wal*Mart with the film already in it.



His curly, brown hair bounced in the wind.

With the other boy, were two children. One, a skinny, red-headed,



JESSIE: Ahem, ORANGE haired.



bright-eyed girl,



VEGETA: Misty's got Bette Davis eyes.

KASEY: (Joel a la "Pod People") Trumpy, you can do STUPID things!



the other, a tall, dark teenager.



VEGETA: But I thought she said he was a child!



They waved as well. "See ya, Todd!"



ALL: Aa! Todd the Constipated!



Todd watched them as they turned and began walking away, headed for a future far different than his.



JAMES: (Todd) I hope it's death, the ungrateful deadbeats.



Ash Ketchum.



JESSIE: Ash "Gotta Catch 'Em All But I Only Have Seven Pokémon" Ketchum.



He was definitely going to be a great Pokémon master someday.



KASEY: Yeah, the day Satan goes ice-skating in his backyard.



Todd knew this from watching his friends.



VEGETA: Not THESE particular friends, but his other, BETTER friends.



Misty and Brock were right at his side.



JAMES: Todd believed that they had been brainwashed by Ash, making them stick by his side.



They were all on their way to Cinnabar Islands



JESSIE: Ah, Cinnabar Islands, with a pinch of Clover.



to compete for the next Trainer Badge.



JESSIE: First Ash would fail, then he would do something nice and *heroic* thus getting the Badge free of charge and without proving himself in a fight.

KASEY: Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

ALL: (polite applauds)



But Todd didn't care much about that.



VEGETA: Todd didn't care about much. Why? Maybe his dad didn't love him that much, or maybe it was because his grandma and mom fought a lot when he was younger.

JAMES: You got Todd mixed up with Bill Clinton, Vegeta-sama.

VEGETA: I do? Well, if Todd ever has an affair with an intern, then we'll know why.

JAMES: The Bill Clinton Syndrome, by Sigmund Freud.



He was off to the mountains for something greater.



JESSIE: He was going to be a hermit! Live alone in seclusion, letting fleas infest his beard and eating fungi of a Paras' back.

KASEY: (Todd) Stupid idiot, I can't believe I lied and said ASH would be a good Master, what was I thinking?



He smiled and began walking his way. Yes, he was proud to be a photographer! The freedom, the outdoors, the pictures. All of these things were important to him. They were his life.



VEGETA: Sure his mom wondered where he was all the time, but, hey, screw her! He was going to be a photographer.



The road he was following was long and twisted, turning through bright areas to darker ones. All the time, Todd's eyes darted back and forth,



JAMES: He's trying to play a game of darts with his eyes, but he keeps missing the bull's eye.



watching for Pokémon. He was not a master, like Ash.



ALL: (suppressed laughter)



He was not a breeder, like Brock. He was definitely not everything else, like Misty.



JESSIE: He wasn't a girl.

KASEY: In the literal term.

JAMES: Ever heard him scream? He loses that constipated tone and turns into a girl.

VEGETA: I think I should meet this Todd, make him squeal.



He was Todd, the greatest Pokémon photographer of all times!

Suddenly,



JESSIE: As if in a flash!



he heard a rustle in the bushes.



KASEY: (Todd) Damn, it's Ash! Can't he let go?



He got down quickly, aiming his camera directly at them. A beautiful Pidgeot came soaring out. Todd tried to get it, but it was too fast.



JAMES: (Todd, whiny) The concept of math is just too hard!



It shot into the sky and flew away.

"That was strange," Todd said aloud to himself.



VEGETA: (Todd) It was as if the Pidgeot was trying to aim at me with his poop!

JESSIE: Vegeta! Uncalled for!

VEGETA: The opportunity was there, so I took it.



"Usually, a forest is filled with Pidgey. Yet, that Pidgeot was fully evolved,



JAMES: Yes, Todd, that's what a Pidgey "fully evolved" usually is.



and looked well-trained..."



KASEY: Gasp! Maybe there were lotso' enemy Pokémon to fight in the woods! Gasp!



Laughter followed his last remark.



JESSIE: (Todd) God! Stop laughing at me! I'm trying my best!



Todd crawled away from the bushes and got to his feet. Someone jumped out and stood next to him. The appearance of the person was that of a scruffy, teenage boy. He wore tattered jeans and red bandana across his head.



VEGETA: Awww, it's a chibi Bardok.



He also sported a white shirt and light blue vest.



KASEY: I tried the white shirt and light blue vests sport once. I was hit three times in the face and yelled to get the hell off the field. Never been back since.



He had dark green hair and matching eyes. Over his left eye, was a large scar. A small Pokémon hovered beside him. A Dragonair.



JAMES: The Dragonair hadn't wanted to be his Pokémon and put up a great fight . . .

OTHERS: ???

JAMES: . . . thus the scar.

OTHERS: Oh!

JESSIE: I was gonna say something like, "Scar came back from the dead as a human!"



Only a few minutes away from saying goodbye to someone, Todd meets someone else.



KASEY: He's just one lucky bastard, ain't he?

"Hey kid," the boy said. "What's up with you? A'int you ever seen a Trainer before?"



KASEY: Ahem, after saying "ain't" myself, I would just like to point out it is spelled "a-i-n-'t" and not "a-'i-n-t". Thank you.

VEGETA: It's hard work being a hick.

Todd looked closely at the newcomer. "Yeah, I have. So, that was your Pidgeot?"

"Of course it was! I know everything about Pokémon..." The tiny Dragonair beside the boy seemed to snicker. "Silence, you imp!" he said, promptly kicking the Pokémon over to Todd.



JAMES: DON'T DO THAT!

JESSIE: And it promptly evolves into a Dragonite and beats the bajooties outta them.



Todd gasped and picked up the Dragonair. "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Some Trainer you are! Picking on a poor, helpless Pokémon."



KASEY: They're not *helpless*! C'mon, Dragonair, do Hyper Beam!

"Oh, Dragonair's not helpless," the boy yawned. "In fact, he's anything but. Besides, what would you know about Pokémon?"



JAIMIELÉE: Hahahahah! Lookie lookie CTR-san! A no no-paragraph break! You said I wouldn't find any! Bwahahahah!

(a sound, suspiciously like CTR screaming, "shut up" and a sound similar to a blast from a bazooka)

JESSIE: The hell?

KASEY: What was THAT?

JAMES: I'm scared!

VEGETA: Hm~



"A lot!" Todd growled. "Now, if you excuse me, I'm on my way up to the mountains."



JESSIE: (Todd) I need to fling myself off a cliff.

VEGETA: (Todd) Some old guy with a big brush said he'd give me a "Mark of the Gods" if I take a picture of a Pidgeot for him!



"What's your hurry, small fry?" Todd and the other boy glared at each other for a few moments.



JAMES: Then they embrace each other and give into the passion!

KASEY: Meanwhile, Dragonair pukes all over the place.



The teenager laughed smugly and extended his hand toward Todd for a friendly shake. "My name's Yukio."



KASEY: What the hell? A Japanese name?

VEGETA: His name's "Victory"?



At first, the young photographer was hesitant.



JESSIE: He could have one of those damned joy buzzers.



This Yukio had totally been a brat and was unkind to his Pokémon. Then he put down the Dragonair. "Todd," he simply replied, not returning the shake.



JAMES: He didn't know what flavor Yukio liked, so he decided not to give him one at all.



"I'm a Pokémon photographer."

"What's that?" Yukio asked, cocking his head.



JESSIE: Yukio isn't the brightest of all trainers.

JAMES: There's actually someone dumber than Ash?



"Idiot..." Todd murmured. "Think about it...Photographer. Pokémon." Yukio looked as if he still didn't get it. "I take pictures of Pokémon!" yelled the annoyed boy.

"Ohh..." nodded Yukio.



KASEY: (Yukio) What does Mickey do? What's Mickey's job?



"But, why would you want to do a boring thing like that?"



VEGETA: (Todd) No one likes me and I smell funny. I had to get a job AWAY from humans.



"Never mind," Todd said, picking up his bag filled with his utensils. "I don't have time for this. I need to make it to the next town before nightfall..."

Yukio leapt in front of Todd enthusiastically, the Dragonair floating behind him. "Hey, can I tag along?"



JESSIE: (Todd) I'll play hide and seek, but no tag!

.

"Why? Don't you have anything better to do?"



JAMES: (Yukio) I could watch Wheel of Fortune, but I think it'd be more fun following you.



"No."

Todd kept on walking, but Yukio was persistent.



KASEY: But I thought he was human! Bada-bing!



He followed Todd, pleading and begging to accompany him. Finally Todd turned on him. "Go away, Yukio! I need to take pictures with silence and privacy. I don't need someone scaring away Pokémon,



VEGETA: (Todd) I can do that on my own!



especially if they have a loud mouth like you."

"You've insulted me!" Yukio whined.



JESSIE: (Yukio as Speed Racer) Those are fighting words! Hahaha!--ha!



"You insulted me," Todd yelled, still walking.



JAMES: (Yukio) No, *you* insulted *me*!



"You said my job was boring."



KASEY: The truth always hurts.



He stopped and faced Yukio again. "Let me tell you something...When you find something you love to do, it is never boring. Taking pictures may be boring to you, but it's my passion." Yukio sniffed.



VEGETA: Well, how rude! Doing cocaine right in front of Todd and not offering any!



Todd continued. "Like your dream is to become a Pokémon master,



JESSIE: (Yukio) I never told you that! My dream is to become a psychotic murderer, using Pokémon to do all the dirty work.



my dream is to become the best Pokémon photographer of all times. Until you can respect me for that, you have no business being my friend. Good day to you, mister Yukio!"



JAMES: Todd's mean. Dragonair SHOULD do Hyper Beam on him!

ALL: C'mon! Hyper Beam! Hyper Beam!



Yukio sat on the ground of the forest and watched Todd walk off sadly. "So, does this mean I can't come?"



JAIMIELÉE: Hahahah! ANOTHER!

(again, another "shut up" and a large explosion)

KASEY: Oh, can't you two shut up?

JAMES: Aren't we breaking the Fourth Wall?

JESSIE: Hey, if we can bend time and space and not make a paradox, we can certainly break the Fourth Wall.



Todd reached the next town just as the last light of day disappeared from the sky. "What a gorgeous sunset," he sighed. "What would make an even better picture is if a large Spearow were flying in front of it..." He shook off his daydream and began looking for an inn to stay in.



VEGETA: A large SPEAROW would make it look better? I would figure an Articuno with shimmering wings, or a blazing Moltres, maybe even a Houo!



The town was not that big, but heavily crowded with tourists.



KASEY: (tourist) Wasn't that potato in the shape of John Quincy Adams freaky?

JESSIE: (other tourist) No, the Ponyta with wings was strange.

JAMES: (another tourists, dumb) No, it was the three headed Dodrio that was the freakiest!



Todd figured he'd be lucky to find a floor to sleep on that night.



VEGETA: Well, at least he acknowledges the fact that he isn't even fit enough to sleep in a bed.



At last he found a little hotel with vacancy. It was not luxurious, but it would do for the time being. After breakfast tomorrow, he'd probably leave again.



KASEY: When he woke up the next morning, an unknown woman named Vicky was sprawled out next to him and he smelled of vodka . . .

"Welcome to Thompson's Everlasting Keg Cockpit Of Rest inn!



JESSIE: Cool! An everlasting keg!

ALL: Party! Party! Party!



What type of room do you wish to acquire?" the man behind the counter asked. He was pretty tall with semi-long hair tied back into a ponytail.

"Just a small room for one night," Todd said. He looked around the rest of the hotel. Funny...



VEGETA: What were all those broken and bloody bodies doing up on the wall?



There were many visitors to this town, but this place seemed empty. "Where are all your customers?"

The man sighed. "I don't know," he said with thick accent. "We never seem to get anyone here..."



JAMES: (Thompson) Maybe 'coz of all the cockroaches and disease infested Ratatta.



"We?"

"My wife, and I. We're very poor and no one likes it here."

Todd looked into the sad man's emerald eyes. They seemed so sad, yet strangely familiar. No matter. He felt sorry for the owners here.



JESSIE: So he'd only *slightly* trash the room.



"Better make it two nights," he smiled, handing the man more money. "And I'll take my breakfast here tomorrow."



KASEY: (Todd, muttering) Even though it'll probably be the worst mistake I ever made in my life.

The man's eyes lit up. "Oh, thank you, boy! Thank you! What is your name?"

"Todd..."



VEGETA: . . . the Constipated.



"Here you go, Todd," the man said, handing Todd a silver key. "Room 666, best room in the house!"



JAMES: (Thompson) Just ignore the demonic numbers!

"Thank you," Todd replied, taking the key and heading off to find his room. He thought that this maybe wouldn't be such a bad town after all.



JESSIE: Todd was whisked into the world of Narnia after he opened that door-- or Gaia? The world in Fushigi Yuugi? What?



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2



JAMES: Readers 4!



The key to Room 666



VEGETA: Oh ho, do I see a weird adventure coming to slap me in the face?

KASEY: 666!!!! Red Rum! Red Rum!



turned and unlocked the door with an almost silent clicking sound. Todd pushed open the door and entered the room. He nearly fell over in shock. The place was in shambles. Not only was the bed unkempt and the bathroom tub grimy, the place was covered in dust and cobwebs.



JESSIE: Oh, hey, Onsen-Mark's apartment when he returned to it!



A large, broken mirror hung above a sink filled with grime. The sheets to the bed were soiled with God knows what, and stunk terribly. In fact, the whole room reeked with the smell of cigarettes and alcohol.



JAMES: Ick, so this is a whore house, right?

KASEY: James.

JAMES: I'm confused.



Todd looked around in horror and disgust.



VEGETA: (Todd) What? No rats and roaches? What a rip off!



If this was the best room in the hotel, what were the other rooms like? He dared not set down his small amount of luggage on the gross carpet.



JESSIE: I don't blame you, it's an ugly shade of green.



A rat ran across the floor.



KASEY: (Todd) Okay, now I need the roaches.



No wonder no one was staying here. He walked over to the bathroom and ran the water. Rust. "Ick!" Todd said aloud. How was he going to sleep in accommodations like this?



JAMES: VERY carefully.



As he walked down the small hallway of his room, something glimmered and caught his attention.



VEGETA: (Todd) It's so shiny! I wanna put it in my nest.



He turned to the wall and saw probably the most beautiful thing in the room - A colored picture of a tiny Meowth with its evolved form, a Persian, behind it.



JESSIE: How cute, it was drawn by a three year-old girl.



He looked closer at it. The picture was in a thin, mahogany frame. He ran his fingers across it, outlining the Meowth. "Beautiful," he whispered. "Whoever took this picture was a genius..." It was just how he wanted his pictures to look. The two looked so peaceful, just standing there. He smiled.



KASEY: Before the rivalry between Meowth and Persian.

VEGETA: Rob influenced Persian to be evil.

"I want to take a picture exactly like this someday," he said.



JAMES: That deserves a paragraph break, why?

JESSIE: Maybe the one that was supposed be up there awhile back was transferred to here.



Early next morning,



ALL: Ew!

KASEY: You actually SLEPT there?

VEGETA: He slept on the picture, it was the only clean thing.



Todd walked down the steps to the kitchen in his same clothes, now very wrinkled.



JAMES: (Todd) I would have changed into my pajamas, but my mommy wasn't there to help me.

JESSIE: (Todd) Plus the footies on my Care Bears PJs have holes in them.



He rubbed under his eyes and yawned. That had been some night...



ALL: Ew!!!



"Good morning!" a feminine voice chirped.



KASEY: Enter the woman he had some night with.



Todd looked over and saw a pretty woman at the stove fixing eggs.



VEGETA: Oh my God! Togepi, no!

KASEY: Yes!



He didn't know what kind from this distance. "Hello," he said.

"Did you have a good-night's sleep?"

"Ummm..." he paused for a moment, thinking of the right words to say. "Sad to say, not really."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," the woman said, turning around and setting three plates on a small table. She looked at him guiltily. Her eyes were a very deep blue. Todd thought they were gorgeous. Her hair was mostly put up in a bun, aside from the few strands of hair that fell in her face. "We're not the Ritz."



ALL: (sing) If you're bored and you don't know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits . . . Putting on the Ritz.



"Oh, no," Todd replied, placing his hand behind his head and laughing.



JESSIE: (Todd, laughing) It was a really terrible room! I mean, awful, it really stunk!



"It was a...Nice room..." The woman motioned for him to sit down and he did. "Excuse me, but are you Mrs. Thompson?"

"Why, yes I am," she smiled, walking back to fetch the finished eggs. "I'm sorry for not introducing myself sooner. We'll be eating breakfast shortly. Mr. Thompson will be down in a moment."



JAMES: (Mrs. Thompson, darkly) We're having hearts and entrails, is that good for you?

"I'm starved," Todd said cautiously. He hoped the food here wasn't as disappointing as the room. Last night, he had washed out the bathtub with the rusty water and dried it with a towel. Then he slept in there in his clothes.



VEGETA: Why didn't he change into his PJs? Or does he sleep in the nude?



It had been quite uncomfortable.



KASEY: And then the incident with Sandra Dee happened and that wasn't too fun.



Soon cheerful humming was heard and Mr. Thompson came bounding down the stairs.



JESSIE: Mr. Thompson is also known as Mister Rogers.



"Good morning, Todd!" he said. He walked over to his wife and kissed her on the forehead. "Morning, honey." Mrs. Thompson grinned. "Good morning..."



JAIMIELÉE: Oh my! ANOTHER one?

(again, another "shut up" and two explosions this time)

KASEY: (in Freakazoid! voice) Again with the funny noises! Augh!

VEGETA: Quiet, you stupid authors!



The two stood there, looking at each other for a moment.

"We'd better eat..." Mrs. Thompson laughed.

"Oh! Silly me!" Mr. Thompson also laughed



JAMES: (Thompson) How silly of me! In front of a little boy? What *was* I thinking?



and joined Todd at the table. "And how are you, my boy?"



VEGETA: (Todd) I think I caught AIDs just from sitting on the BED.



"Okay," replied the photographer.



JESSIE: He LIES!



"You run a very...Well-kept hotel." Okay. So he was lying, but he was a sucker when it came to sad adults. That was what had gotten him in trouble the first time he met Ash. He was gullible.



KASEY: Hehe, don't we all know it. I gave him two shiny pennies for one dollar, believing two is better than one! I did that to him for quite awhile, got thirty-two bucks from him.

JAMES: No, he was saying that HE was gullible, not Ash.

KASEY: Well, Ash is, too. By the way, you want two pennies for a dollar?

JAMES: I'm not falling for that!

KASEY: How about six dimes for five dollars.

JAMES: Okay! (they trade money)



He sighed and tried not to think about it. Soon, soft-boiled eggs were placed in front of him on a chipped plate.

"Ah!" Mr. Thompson exclaimed, picking up his fork. "My favorite!" He looked across the table to his wife who seemed proud of herself. "You remembered how much I love my eggs soft-boiled." She continued smiling.



VEGETA: (Mrs. Thompson) Well, we HAVE been married for seventy years!



"So, Todd," the man of the hotel began, shoving a few mouthfuls of egg into his mouth. "What are you going to be doing today?"

Todd nibbled at the eggs. They were surprisingly good.



JESSIE: As in that he likes to eat glue and rubber.



"Well, I thought I would explore this town. I'm a Pokémon photographer, and I thought I might find some Pokémon around here."

The couple nodded. "That sounds like a fun hobby," said Mrs. Thompson.



KASEY: (Mrs. Thompson) I don't mean that.



"Oh, it is!" the boy exclaimed.



KASEY: (Todd) I don't mean that, either.



"I love taking pictures. I want to be the best Pokémon photographer ever to live." At this, he jumped to his feet and posed dramatically, fists clenched. "It's my only dream!"



JAMES: (Todd) Well, actually, I AM the only Pokémon photographer, so I guess I accomplished that . . . now what?



They nodded again, smiling happily. "You will surely accomplish your goal, kiddo," Mr. Thompson said enthusiastically. "But, you'd better hurry before the crowd gets up. I think you're early enough to beat the angry mobs of tourists."

"I'm so glad I found you guys," Todd smiled.



JESSIE: (Todd) I didn't even know I could lie THIS much until I met you! Now I know no ends to my deceit!



"Thank you. I'm off!" He waved and ran out the door.



VEGETA: (Todd) I'm off to battle evil!

KASEY: (Todd as Huntsman) Still no jobs? Darn the luck, darn! What if they have a superhero behind my back? I'm going out for some nuts and berry water.

JAMES: No one wants him for a superhero.

JESSIE: Yukio'll be his Fanboy.

KASEY: (sings) And Fanboy is his name! Yukio!



Mr. and Mrs. Thompson sat in their chairs calmly.



VEGETA: (Thompson) Let's wait for the dogs to finish mauling Todd.



Then she stood up and took the plates. "Well, Mr. Thompson, what should we do now, all alone in this hotel?" She grinned playfully.

He left the table and joined her, grabbing her around the waist and kissing her neck.



JAMES: (Thompson) I wish to play Yahtzee!



"I believe we have work to do, Mrs. Thompson..."



JESSIE: (Thompson) Remember spring cleaning? The cops'll be by soon and we have to get the bodies out of the crawl space.



He turned her around and kissed her. She returned the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, dropping the plates to the floor.



KASEY: Aaa! No! Wait wait, I see this coming . . .



The loud crash of the plates awoke a small figure sleeping on a chair in the corner. It growled and threw a small bar of soap which hit Mr. Thompson in the head, causing him to fall over clumsily.



VEGETA: (in bad dubbed Japanese voice) It is Godzilla! And is he angry! Hahahah-ha!



"Hey, you lovebird-brains!" a voice snapped. "Will ya quit with da lip-wrestling?"



KASEY: . . . more of it coming . . .

JAMES: Lip rasslin'.

JESSIE: That's the side of the WWF I soon do not want to see.



Mrs. Thompson crossed her arms. "You're no fun, you sad excuse for a Pokémon! Why don't you leave and battle, or something?"

"Don't forget, we have REAL work to do," the voice from across the room hissed. "Dat boy is gonna pay."



VEGETA: ("voice") He didn't finish his free Continental breakfast, the bastard!



"We know," grumbled Mr. Thompson as he stood to his feet. A small wisp of hair fell over his face and remained there. "We entered this deserted...Icky place and made the brat feel sorry for us. We even got a scout to tell us when he was coming."



KASEY: . . . and yet more . . .

JAMES: (Thompson) We were able to get Sailor Jupiter.

"That Yukio was sure a big help to us," Mrs. Thompson smirked. "And to think, he did it all because of who we are..."



KASEY: . . . Oh! Get on with it!!!

"Famous!" Mr. Thompson squealed. "Everyone knows how amazing we are!"



JESSIE: We own the best, gross sounding titled, icky inn in all of the Island!



"Yeah right," the voice laughed. Husband and wife both looked as if they would strangle the little animal. "But now, let's get ready for da next part of da plan..."



VEGETA: ("voice") We need to get old lady Johansen to mug that kid with the camera.

JAMES: (British voice) This town used to be nice until the old ladies moved in!



"Right!" the couple said in unison. With that, the three of them laughed evilly and raced to a room in the back of the hotel. There was a sign of the door that read 'Employees Only'.



JESSIE: Only employees can boink.

KASEY: Why all the mystery!? We all know who it is!

JAMES: I don't.

JESSIE: Me neither.

VEGETA: It's 'coz you guys lack a few brain cells.

JESSIE: I wished I had brought in my rocket launcher.

VEGETA: (begins to glow blue) Oh yeah?

KASEY: Stop it you two.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 3



"Missed!" Todd shouted at himself and the Rapidash that ran away from him. He was so close to getting it on film when he had sneezed. That movement caused him to lose what would have been a great picture. He re-packed his camera and tripod into the backpack he carried with him. Better luck next time, he thought sadly.



JAMES: Well, what'd he MISS?

KASEY: Then he passed by a boy wearing a yellow bandanna and a pack . . .

VEGETA: (Todd) Hey, Ryoga.

JESSIE: (Ryoga) Hey, Todd.

VEGETA: (Todd) Still lost?

JESSIE: (Ryoga) Yep.



Surprisingly enough,



JAMES: . . . he had only wet his pants twice while he slept.



this small town was filled with amazing Pokémon. Todd was lucky to have almost got a Rapidash. Earlier, he had taken a picture of a Gloom and her baby Oddish resting under a tree. That was rare.



KASEY: Unless if you don't look REALLY hard.



It told him that this place was peaceful, and that the Pokémon were not scared of the humans here.



VEGETA: Even though the Rapidash HAD ran away from him.

He began to think of how calm Pikachu was when he was with Ash.



JESSIE: Even when Ash was beating it.

JAMES: Boy, I just realized we've been bashing a lot of the people in this 'fic.

KASEY: Well, it has been a very stressful time, maybe we're taking it out on the 'fic.

VEGETA: Yeah, everyone's sad, except for the bad guys, but they wouldn't even be sad if their mothers were the ones lost in space.

JAMES: I miss Jessica.

JESSIE: Maybe I can finally steal that Pikachu . . .



It felt more danger riding in its Pokéball than riding on Ash's back.



KASEY: Well, I would too if I was Pikachu! He's larger than that ball, and then you SHRINK it MORE!



Ash's other Pokémon felt safe around their master as well, but Pikachu was different. He was more like Ash's best friend than pet Pokémon.



VEGETA: Which is quite sad, really.



He was loyal too. It would do (mostly) everything Ash told it to.



JESSIE: But what about Charizard? Charizard isn't too fond of Ash.

JAMES: C'mon, Charizard, he tastes just like chicken!



He smiled, remembering his friends. Would Ash's path ever cross his again?



VEGETA: He prayed not.

KASEY: WE pray not.



Todd walked along the dirt path that led out to the forest outside of town to hunt for more Pokémon.



JESSIE: To hell with photography, he was just gonna go kill him some vittles.



He had just gone there yesterday, and it was about three miles away from the town. He had a lot of walking ahead of him, but it was early. Todd was wide awake, despite the terrible night he had had.

Suddenly,



JAMES: As if in a flash!



a familiar figure came running toward him. "Toooooooooooodd!" it called.



VEGETA: Twelve "o"s!



Todd groaned and clapped his hand to his forehead when he realized who it was. "Not Yukio..."

"Todd!" Yukio said as he met him face-to-face.



KASEY: Touched him tongue-to-tongue.

OTHERS: Ech.



"Did you make it to the next town? Did they kick you out?"



JESSIE: (Todd) Yup, I beat someone's ass for dissin' my Snorlax picture with the rainbow in the background.



"No, they did not," Todd replied.



JAMES: (Todd) They merely tar and feathered me and shackled me.



"In fact, I'm staying in a nice hotel..."



VEGETA: He's on a roll! How many lies is that?



Yukio cut him off.



KASEY: And blood spurted everywhere.



"Was it Thompson's Everlasting Keg Cockpit Of Rest?"



JESSIE: That's such a gross name.



"Yeah! How did you know?"

"I've stayed there before. Nice people, those Thompson's..."

Todd began walking around him. "Well, it was nice to talk to you, but I have work to do. See ya around, Yukio." He hoisted his drooping backpack higher onto his back and walked away.



ALL: Ewwww!!!



Yukio sadly watched him go.



JAMES: (Yukio) How sad, he has drooping backpack syndrome.



"Hey!" he called. Todd did not turn around. "If you ever need company..." When Todd was out of sight, Yukio began to snicker. "Stupid boy!" he grinned. "You don't know what you're up against."



VEGETA: That's sending shivers up my spine, how about y'all?



"Oh, Yukio, you're such an idiot sometimes," an English-accented voice laughed.



KASEY: When did John Cleese show up?

JESSIE: (John Cleese) And now for something completely different, a boy with a drooping backpack.



"Do you know how foolish you sound?"

"Dragonair!" Yukio fumed, spinning around to face his tiny dragon Pokémon. "What do you know? By doing this, I'll definitely be allowed into Team Rocket!"



JAMES: (Yukio) You've seen Jessie and James! If I act like a fool I can make it in!

JESSIE: (tearfully) James, you just made fun of ourselves.

JAMES: I did?



He smiled and dreamed of himself posing, wearing a Team Rocket uniform and reciting his own speech. He sighed longingly and his eyes twinkled. "For years, I've applied for Team Rocket. I've crawled on my hands and knees to get where I am today."



VEGETA: On his knees A LOT.

ROB: HEY!!

VEGETA: (way too innocently) It wasn't directed at you, Robu-san.

ROB: Okay~

VEGETA: Snicker~



"And where is that?" Dragonair smirked.



KASEY: Flagstaff, Arizona.



Yukio thought for a moment. Then he pointed his two index fingers together sheepishly. "Well...It's somewhere..."



JESSIE: (Yukio) It's up my butt, why don't you jump up there and find it?



But he regained the fire in his eyes and spunk in his voice. "But, as soon as this plot is finished, Team Rocket will accept me as one of their own!" He laughed menacingly.



JAMES: I'm gonna kick CTR's rear.

KASEY: She's been so nice to us and here we are being mean to her.

VEGETA: It's all part of the job.



"You're an embarrassment," Dragonair sighed. "I can't believe I'm your Pokémon..."



JESSIE: (Yukio) And I can't believe I gave birth to you!

JAMES: Ew, that's an icky thought!

Three figures ran through the halls of a dark, secluded area towards a large, iron door. When they reached it,



KASEY: . . . they forgot to stop and rammed head long into it.



one figure grabbed the small handle and began to pull.

"Don't forget the code!" the other figure spat out. "You can't get in without it."



VEGETA: Ahh, someone's playing a computer game.



"I was getting to it," the first figure replied snobbishly. It looked at the codebar on the door and pressed the correct letters. "R-K-T-S-I-G-N-I-T-E..."



JESSIE: "riccccsgggngite"? How do you pronounce that word?



The big door open slowly. "See...I'm not that stupid!"



JAMES: ("voice") I'm only DUMB! One step below stupid.



"Shut your mouth!" the other said, brushing past him. It ran to a television screen the size of the wall.



KASEY: ("voice") It cost us an arm and a leg, but, dammit, we're gonna watch football the right way!



A keyboard filled with odd-colored buttons lay in front of it.



VEGETA: It's the world's first computer!

JESSIE: Talk about being outdated.

JAMES: ("voice") Now in seventy more years we'll have "Pong" downloaded . . .



The figure pressed a large, red button on the board and the screen blinked on.



KASEY: ("voice") Was that marked "Doomsday"? Whoops.



"Yukio...Yukio, come in!"

The face of the teenager appeared on the screen. "Jessie! James!



JESSIE & JAMES: Yay! We appear on the scene!



Meowth!" Yukio cried.



JESSIE & JAMES: But who is this Yukio dude?



"Todd's headed to the forest." He paused. "Those clothes are terrible."



VEGETA: (Jessie) Well, you had better get used to them, you'll soon be wearing them.



Jessie pulled her hair out of the bun and shook it out.



KASEY: It poured onto Meowth and smothered him. The end.



It quickly fell into its normal position. "Yeah, I know."



JAMES: Geez, Jessie, how much hairspray do you use?

JESSIE: Three bottles of ultra-hold a day.

KASEY: No wonder the hairspray supplies have been going down . . . Jessie, you can no longer use that much, only on special occasions, like when you go Pokémon thieving.

JESSIE: But Captain Kasey! I only do that when there's nothing better to do! I'm on a friggen SATELLITE!

KASEY: I'm the Captain and my word goes.

VEGETA: You could always put your hair up in a ponytail, that'll be cute.

(the others stare at Vegeta for a bit for making such a un-Vegeta-like comment)



James yanked the ponytail holder out of his hair and scratched the back of his head. "It makes me look like a commoner..."



KASEY: You know, if you put your hair in a tight ponytail, it'll come out.

JAMES: Dear god no!



"So, the brat did exactly as we expected," Jessie continued.



JESSIE: He acted like a brat. Wow.



"The forest is where his doom lies." Yukio nodded and Jessie smiled. "You've done a brilliant job for us, Yukio. Why, I'm sure the Boss



ALL: Boo! Hiss!



will find an opening for you somewhere."



VEGETA: Maybe in the chorus.



"Yeah, like the new janitor," James whispered to Meowth. The Pokémon snickered.



KASEY: Oh no! Then Giovanni and his assistant won't like Yukio, then they'll send him into space wearing a red jump suit and he'll make robots and riff bad movies! . . . well, actually, I don't like him, so go ahead and do that, Giovanni!

JESSIE: Just make sure the rocket ship explodes BEFORE he can make the robots.



"Oh, thank you!" Yukio bowed.



JAMES: (Yukio) Domo arigatoo, minnasan!



"I've admired Team Rocket for years! I want to be a part of it so badly."

"And I'm sure you will," Jessie said.



VEGETA: With all this lying, you figure Todd would join Team Rocket. He's pretty good at that himself.



"Now, go to the forest and wait for Todd to show up, capture him, and bring him to us at the old mill near the end of town.



JESSIE: Stupid Jessie, why don't you just kill Todd in the forest? No one's there, less bother!



James and I shall make preparations for his arrival.



KASEY: (Jessie) We'll hang up all the streamers and all the balloons.



This is Jessie, over and out." The screen went blank.



VEGETA: This is Vegeta, wishing this was over so he could get out.

"Dis'll show dat little trickster!" Meowth said. "We'll show him who gets da last laugh."



JAMES: Ha!

JESSIE: Ha!!

KASEY: Haha!

VEGETA: Hahahahah!

JAMES: Hoho!

JESSIE: Heh!

KASEY: Ha!

VEGETA: HAAH!!!!!!

OTHERS: . . .

VEGETA: I got the last laugh.

"Don't forget, Meowth," growled James. "That you were the one to find him. You're the one who helped him get that laugh!"

"That's right!" Jessie snapped. "You said Todd could capture Pokémon." "How was Meowth supposed to know it meant 'on film'?" Meowth asked. "It was a mistake."



JAIMIELÉE: Heheheh!

("shut up!" Kaboom!)

JAMES: Geez, again?

"Well, for that mistake, YOU get to go to the mill and get everything ready yourself."



KASEY: (Jessie) We'll be in shortly to *punish* you.

OTHERS: Kasey, NO!!!!

KASEY: Sorry.



Jessie scooped him into her arms, not gently,



JESSIE: . . . and she put him on her ice cream cone. "Yummy, Meowth flavor," she said.



and threw him out the door. James nodded.



JAMES: Good pitch, a little high, though.

"What? MEOWTH!" Meowth cried. "But dat's not fair! What will you two do?"

Jessie blushed. "Umm...We'll stay here and wait for Yukio to call..." James smiled and giggled.



JESSIE & JAMES: Oh my god! Blech!

JAMES: I miss Jessica!!!!

JESSIE: Switch seats with me, Kasey.

Meowth just rolled his eyes



VEGETA: . . . and Mister Meowth got a seven! You win!



and began to head for the old mill as the iron door slammed shut behind him.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 4



Todd finally reached the forest a little while after he left Yukio.



KASEY: Where was he before? Trespassing in someone's yard and taking pictures of their Pokémon?



That guy was annoying!



JESSIE: Look in the mirror, Todd.

JAMES: All Yukio is doing is following you around, what's the harm in that?



What was he doing, hanging around younger kids anyway?



VEGETA: Hello, Todd, don't you read the newspaper? He wants to--

KASEY: (hand over Vegeta's mouth) And you said my "punish" joke was bad.



Todd shook his head and began to set up his equipment. He loaded a new roll of film into his camera, stood up his tripod, and positioned himself in a place where he would not be seen.



JESSIE: And more importantly, where HE couldn't see.

JAMES: (Todd) Dammit, why do I only get pictures of leaves?

He had not been there ten minutes, when he heard angry growling. He turned around, and there, behind him,



VEGETA: As opposed to in front of him when he TURNED around.



was a very upset-looking Ninetails.



KASEY: What the hell? Did a Vulpix accidentally run into a quarry of Fire Stone?



Todd had invaded her territory,



JESSIE: The Ninetails was wondering why Todd couldn't smell the urine she had used to mark her territory.



and now she was going to fight him for it. She began swiping her claws and trying to bite him.



ALL: Gogogogogo!

JAMES: If only Ash and the Brats were there as well!

VEGETA: And Yukio!

ALL: Go for it!



"Hold it!" Todd said, standing up and backing away from the furious Pokémon. "I'm not trying to hurt you or any other Pokémon in this forest." She still growled. Then she jumped up and attacked him, knocking him onto his back.



KASEY: But when she saw his drooping backpack, she ran away in fright.



She pinned him there and barked.



ALL: Yes!!!! Celebrate good times! C'mon!



"Please..." Todd shuddered. Sweat streamed down his face. "I'm not a Pokémon trainer. I don't catch Pokémon!"

The Ninetails stopped growling, noticing the boy had no weapons or Pokéballs on him.



JAMES: But still, he had stepped on her litter.

JESSIE: And Todd was mauled. The end.



He was not threatening her. If anything, he was very scared of her.



VEGETA: Remember, they are as scared of you as you are of them . . .



She sniffed the human cautiously, however not releasing him from her tight grasp. Todd squeezed his eyes shut, preparing himself for the worst. Then he felt something tickling his face. He opened his eyes and found the Ninetails softly licking his face.



KASEY: She likes the taste of salt that sweat leaves behind.

She then got off of him, but continued to lick his hands.



JESSIE: He wishes he could meet a human female that would do this for him.



Todd sat up and smiled. "I hope you're not tasting me for dinner."



JAMES: (Ninetails) Why else would a wild animal be licking a human?



He then lifted his hand to pet her, but she jumped back at the sudden movement.



VEGETA: Then she attacked him and tore him limb from limb! The end.



"No, no. It's okay, Ninetails. I'm not going to hurt you." He let his hand stay in the same position, and the Ninetails returned, sniffing it.



KASEY: She found the smell offensive and bit the hand off.



She finally allowed him to pet her. Todd laughed. "You're such a pretty Pokémon. All I wanted was to take your picture. I'm not really on a regular Pokémon journey."

"Ninetails!" Ninetails finally said, cuddling up closer to Todd. She felt very safe around this boy.



JESSIE: She could simply lull this boy into a false sense of calm and then ATTACK!



He was not at all like the other boy who had been in this forest earlier. That human was mean.



JAMES: Is she talking about Yukio? Why didn't she maul him and save us the trouble of reading the 'fic?



She licked Todd's ear.



ALL: Ewwww . . .



"Hey, stop, Ninetails!" Todd laughed. "That tickles." Suddenly,



VEGETA: As if in a flash!



they both heard a twig snap. The Ninetails huddled down and ran away quickly.



KASEY: I bet you Ninetails will be back very soon.

JESSIE: How do you know?

KASEY: Trust me on this.



Todd sadly watched her leave, but then turned around. Who else was in the forest?



JAMES: Maybe he could become friends with a vicious Pincer!



He put himself back in the hiding position he had been in before his encounter with Ninetails.



VEGETA: That's when he noticed Ninetails had marked him as her territory.

KASEY: He should feel flattered, he'll never get that attention from a woman of his own species.



He looked back and forth, not missing anything.



JESSIE: Except, of course, for the person sneaking up on him.



He kept silent. Someone, or something, was watching him. The forest seemed to have eyes all around, all focusing on Todd.

He didn't have time to think before a rope was thrown around his neck.



JAMES: Woah! The fanfic skipped ahead of us!



It began to strangle him. Todd tried to call for help, but the rope prevented him from doing so.



VEGETA: That's what strangling usually is, Todd.

KASEY: (Todd) I learn something new everyday!



Soon, the forest began to fade from view. Before he knew it, Todd was surrounded in darkness.



JESSIE: (darkly) Armies of darkness.

"Oh, James! You're such a scoundrel!"

"HeeHee!"

Blink!



KASEY: Okay, who blinked loudly disturbing the rest of us?

OTHERS: Not me.



"Umm...Excuse me...Jessie, James..."



JESSIE: Gagg . . .

JAMES: I like you, Jessie, but-- yech!

JESSIE: (convulse)

KASEY: Good thing Jessica's not here.

VEGETA: Oh, yeah, description, please?

JAMES: I want Jessica!!!

There was a scramble of bodies untangling themselves and jumping to their feet.



JESSIE: Please have us playing Twister . . .



Yukio's face on the screen gained a very large sweatdrop. Jessie brushed herself off and smoothed her hair behind her head. She looked very bedraggled. "Uh, greetings, Yukio," she gasped as she grabbed the microphone for the large screen.



KASEY: (Yukio) I can't wait till I'M a member!



"What's the news?"

"I've got the boy."

"Oh!" James grinned, pulling on his boots.



JAMES: Excuse me. (runs out)

KASEY: No, James, Rob'll shoot you!

VEGETA: Robu-san will understand.

JESSIE: Besides, the doors are locked.

KASEY: Poor guy.



"That IS good news."

Jessie nodded and smiled evilly. "We'll meet you at the mill."

Yukio saluted. "Yukio, over and out!" The screen turned black.



VEGETA: They should've checked the expiration date on it before they bought it.

"Well, oh partner," Jessie said, turning to James seductively. "We'll have to finish our meeting some other time..."



JESSIE: Erk! Excuse me, too. (runs off)

When Todd awoke and found he was not dead, he was tied to a chair in a darkened room. One small light bulb hung over his head so it was if he were in a spotlight.



KASEY: (Todd) I have an idea!



"Where am I?" he groggily asked.

A Pokémon slithered toward him. It was Dragonair. It circled him and snickered. "Hello, boy!"



VEGETA: C'mon, Dragonair, you know you want to sing "Henry VIII"! Sing!

KASEY & VEGETA: (in bad British) I'm "Henery" the Eighth I am, "Henery" the Eighth I am I am. I got married to the widow next door, she was married seven times before! And everyone was an "Henery". "Henery"! She wouldn't have a Willy or Sam! Nor a Sam! And there ain't no man! I'm "Henery" the Eighth. Whoo!



"Y-You talk!" Todd exclaimed.



KASEY: And sing! Don't forget that!



"Aren't you Yukio's Dragonair?"



VEGETA: Even though any other Pokémon looks like the other.



"Yes. As a matter of fact, I am."

"Well, then you can get me out of here! Where's Yukio?"



KASEY: The Japanese version of "Where's Waldo".



"Right here..." Yukio stepped out of the shadows, smiling broadly. "You want some help?"

Todd nodded. "Well, you think I like being tied to this chair?



VEGETA: (Todd) Actually, I do, but in a different situation than this.



Please, get me out of here!"

Yukio laughed and conked Todd on the forehead.



KASEY: (Todd) Hey! Ow! I don't see how THAT helps!



"I'm afraid that's not possible. You see, I'm the bad guy."



VEGETA: (Yukio) You being rude to me the first time we ever met turned me to evil, Todd. All those I kill shall be on YOUR hands! Think about that why don't you? Bwahahahah!



"What?" Todd growled angrily. "What are you talking about? What do you want?" Suddenly,



KASEY: As if in a flash!



the few lights that were on in the room turned off.



VEGETA: (Todd) Oh, my idea went away . . .



When they turned on again,



KASEY: (Todd) Ah! My idea's back! Now if only I can figure it out.



there stood Mr. and Mrs. Thompson. Todd sighed in relief. Surely they would help him.



VEGETA: They might if you don't call them "Shirley". Bada-bing!



"Mr. Thompson! Mrs. Thompson! Help me..."

The two smirked. Mrs. Thompson took a step forward. "Prepare for trouble!"



(Jessie and James enter and take their seats)

JESSIE: We're back.

KASEY: Good. Hey, it's the speech, you guys.

JESSIE & JAMES: Oooo.



Mr. Thompson also stepped forward. "And make it double!"

Todd's face fell in disbelief. "No..."



VEGETA: (Todd) Dear God, anything but the speech!

(Vegeta is backhanded by Jessie)

"To protect the world from devastation,"

"To unite all peoples within our nation,"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love,"



KASEY: If you guys think love is evil, then why are you two doing-- you know-- in this 'fic.

(Jessie and James shrug)



"To extend our reach to the stars above..."

Mrs. Thompson threw off her costume. "JESSIE!"

"JAMES!" Mr. Thompson laughed, tossing his disguise aside.



JAMES: Uh, we forgot to put the uniforms on underneath!

JESSIE: Eeek!

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

"MEOWTH! Dat's right!"



VEGETA: This is quite a ridiculous sight.

KASEY: James' pants are bunching tight! (covers eyes)

JAMES: Kasey, that wasn't very bright.

JESSIE: Cut it out guys, before I punch you all with all my might.

Yukio clapped and threw around flower petals. "Yay! Brilliant! Wonderful!"

Jessie laughed and flicked Todd in the nose. "So, shutter-bug, think we're so wonderful now?"

"I can't believe you idiots!" Todd snapped. "How dare you! What the heck is your



KASEY: Phone Number?

JAMES: PIN number?

JESSIE: Dog's name?

VEGETA: Special attack?



problem?"

"WE'RE idiots?" Meowth said. "Who's da one who fell for da trap? Dere were warning signs all over da place, but you ignored dem."



KASEY: Yeah, like the one that said, "This is a trap!"

"And now, you're going to pay for screwing us up!" James said. "We have plans for you."

All in the room, minus Todd, laughed.



JAMES: Todd doesn't appreciate the humor that is "Friends".



He looked at them all - Team Rocket, Yukio, and Dragonair. He was so stupid! He had fallen for another cheap Rocket trick again.



JESSIE: If anyone falls for our two second plans, then they ARE stupid.



What did he miss? Their plan was almost fool-proof this time. Even the name...THE NAME! He thought of the name of the Inn.



VEGETA: Of course! Team Rocket drinks a lot! Thus the "everlasting keg"! How dumb was he?



'Thompson's Everlasting Keg Cockpit Of Rest'...Of course! By taking the first letters of each word, he got TEKCOR.



JAMES: Technology Corporation?

ROCKET spelled backwards. Genius!



KASEY: Oh yeah, as if constipation boy could have figured that out . . . mostly because _I_ wasn't able to . . .

JAMES: It took us fifteen hours to think it up!

JESSIE: Actually fifteen days.

JAMES: And the Boss was the one who told us that.

JESSIE: So . . .

VEGETA: As if THAT'S an obvious sign! I was thinking that Thompson had an everlasting keg inside the cockpit of his plane that has been laid to rest!



Todd sighed and felt his face grow hot with anger, sadness, and embarrassment, all in one. How was he going to get out of this one?



KASEY: He needs to fashion his wrists into a crude knife and cut the ropes.



______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 5



The laughter in the room was too much for Todd to bear.



JAMES: He didn't understand British humor, but they kept making him watch Monty Python anyway!



He felt humiliated, angry at himself for being so gullible. He sighed and looked at the five villains.

"What shall we do with him?" Jessie smirked.



JESSIE: Let's tie him onto some train tracks, like the "villains" that we are!



"Shall I feed him to my Arbok?" Todd cringed.



VEGETA: (Jessie) Shall I put make-up on him?



"How about da Fury Swipes?" Meowth suggested, waving his sharp claws in front of the boy's face. "Dat always works on you guys," he laughed, pointing to Jessie and James.

"Let me think of something!" Yukio cried, his eyes glimmering as he got down on bended knee in front of Team Rocket.



KASEY: (James) Not right NOW, Yukio!

JAMES: KASEY!! (hits her in the back)

KASEY: Ack!!!! (falls to the floor, twitching)

JESSIE: Was that necessary?

JAMES: Did you hear the riff she made about me and Yukio! It was VERY necessary!



"I've studied and admired your skills for years! I know your moves, your strength...Day by day, I watch you with care, taking notes."



VEGETA: (Yukio) I learned how to dig holes and fail miserably!



This guy needs a new hobby, Todd thought to himself.



JESSIE: Well we think YOU need a new hobby, but we didn't say anything.

"Don't make a fool of yourself, Yukio," Dragonair interjected.



JAMES: (sadly) He studied under US, how do you think he's gonna act?

JESSIE: (sniffs)



Yukio made a squeaking noise and grabbed his British-sounding Pokémon. He clutched him in a tight hug. "Ah, yes! I even taught my Dragonair to speak the human language because of Meowth! I wanted him to be intelligent, too."



VEGETA: So Yukio is Japanese and he lives on Pokémon Island which is currently in the American dub, but his Pokémon, that HE taught to talk, speaks with a British accent? What?

KASEY: (Getting off of the floor) No, I see. See, John Cleese happened upon Pokémon Island and he found the charm of an evolved Dragonair, you know the one on their necks, so he went to go find that Dragonair, was attacked by a Dragonite and brought to Yukio who had an invention similar to Giovanni's in Rocket Princess and used the charm to change Mister Cleese into a Dragonair. --gaspgasp--

OTHERS: (applaud and congratulate)



"Meowth is intelligent?" James laughed.

Meowth glared up at him. "D'ya want dese Swipes on you?"

"And, finally, I've made up my own Team Rocket speech!" Yukio announced proudly. "You want to hear?"



ALL: No!



Everyone in the room grimaced. "No!" they all shouted in unison.



VEGETA: At least you guys were smart enough to say "no".



"Enough chit-chatting!" Jessie shouted, shoving Yukio to the side. "It's time we show the photographer how to really shoot..."



JESSIE: And from then on, Todd's pictures came out better than ever, because, surprisingly, Team Rocket are professional photographers on the side.



James grinned and pulled out a small, shimmering object. He then held it to Todd's head. "We don't shoot with cameras, boy."



JAMES: (disgusting man from "Boggy Creek II") Give me that gun, Boy.

KASEY: (as Tim) No way.

VEGETA: (as Servo) Tim's INSTANT catch phrase.

JESSIE: (as Mike) Good night, Tim, wherever you are.

JAMES: Whoah, we went off subject there.

KASEY: Maybe we should stop having those MST3K marathons every night.



Todd gulped and tried not to move. "Now you see Team Rocket doesn't play around," Jessie laughed.



JESSIE: Yes we do. I thoroughly enjoy playing on the monkey bars.



She also pulled out a small handgun and held it to the other side of Todd's head. "Ready for your last shot?"



VEGETA: (Todd) Of whiskey? Sure! Bring it on!



Yukio jumped up and down. "How exciting! Team Rocket's gonna kill someone!"



JAMES: This is sick.



"Shut up, Yukio!" Jessie yelled. "If you want to be allowed into Team Rocket, don't make any noise."

"Yeah," James said. "Do you want the cops to find us?"

"But the guns..."

"Silencers..."

"So clever!" squealed Yukio. "Oh, I love you guys!"



KASEY: (James) No, I was telling you in Old English to shut up!



"Naturally," Jessie giggled, posing but still keeping the gun firmly by Todd's head. "Everyone loves me..."



JESSIE: I love her.



"Yeah! Yeah!" James drooled.



JAMES: No! No!



"Um, excuse me," Todd coughed. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him. "But, is this really necessary? I mean, it wasn't totally my fault that I didn't understand your idea of capture, and it wasn't totally your fault that you didn't understand my idea of capture. So, we are almost equal. It was all a big misunderstanding! We don't need to do this..."



KASEY: Why are they shooting Todd? THEY made the mistake, they should shoot themselves.

VEGETA: If you go through all that trouble for constipation boy, why not just go and blow Ash's brains out and take the Pikachu?

JESSIE & JAMES: Hmmmm . . .



The remaining members in the room were all silent for a long time, each deeply reflecting on Todd's words. He had a point...It was even a good one. They had to give him that. "Well..." James said softly.

"Yes...?" prompted Todd, brightening a bit.

James stood there for a moment, thinking. All eyes were turned on him. He opened his mouth to speak.



JAMES: I'm . . . . hungry. Let's shoot him and go get some obento.



"...We're bad guys. It's fun!" He smiled and the others laughed.



KASEY: (like Joel) But it's FUN!



Todd groaned. At least, if they kill me, I won't have to deal with them anymore...



JESSIE: You didn't have to deal with us in the first place!



Jessie and James went back to pressing the guns tightly into Todd's temples.



VEGETA: (darkly) Now make a prayer. Bwahahahahah!



The young photographer squeezed his eyes shut. This was the end of his short, but great career. The triggers clicked in his ears.

Suddenly the doors to the mill were flung open by a great rush of heated air. "What's dat?" Meowth gasped, clinging to Yukio's leg.



JAMES: Meowth, don't make me drag out the hose.



A semi-large Pokémon ran into the room and bumped James away from Todd.



KASEY: "Unfortunately", it missed Jessie and she shot Todd, the end.



"Ninetails!" Todd exclaimed happily.

JAMES: Wow, Cap'n Kasey! You were right!

KASEY: Aren't I always?

JESSIE: Let's not go there.

KASEY: I'm NOT always right?

VEGETA: No one's perfect, unless if your name begins with a "V"

OTHERS: . . .

JAMES: Does that mean Yukio, whose name means "_V_ictory" is always right?

VEGETA: . . . I mean . . .

JESSIE: How sad, you were outsmarted by James!

VEGETA: I'm going to kill myself once we leave.



"Ninetails!" Ninetails growled.

"Ninetails?" Jessie asked. "When the hell did he get that?"

"Fire Spin!" Todd commanded, still tied to the chair.



JAMES: For a boy that doesn't look for Pokémon to train, he certainly knows the moves.



Ninetails opened her mouth and flames burst out, surrounding Team Rocket, Yukio, and Dragonair. "Blow them outta here!" The blast sent the quintet soaring through the roof.

"Great," Jessie sighed as she flied through the air.



KASEY: "FLIED through the air"? I think that's the first grammar mistake I've read in this whole 'fic.



"Foiled again by a stupid brat."



JESSIE: I hate it when people wrap me in tin foil.

"Looks like Team Rocket..."

"And Yukio!"

"...Is blasting of agaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!" And they disappeared in a twinkle.



VEGETA: Hahahah! Looks like Yukio WASN'T yukio! Hahahahah!

(No one else is laughing.)

VEGETA: Am I the only one that finds the humor in this?





Todd looked up into the sky after Team Rocket was gone. Ninetails stood beside him, seeming to glow with pride. Todd got down on his knees and pet her while she licked his face. "Thank you, Ninetails," he said. "You saved my life."

"Ninetails," the Pokémon replied.



JAMES: Meaning, "I didn't mean to, I thought you were someone else."

JESSIE: (Ninetails) Now, if you'll just move more towards the kill zone.



He hugged her tightly and then stood up. "Well, I'd best be on my way. And you should go back to your forest." Todd began walking away, but Ninetails ran behind him, following him closely. He turned around. "You want to come with me?"

"Ninetails!" she happily barked.

"Okay!" exclaimed Todd running off into the sunset with Ninetails behind him.



KASEY: And they both fried as they entered the sunset. The end.



He would not have to be alone during the rest of his Pokémon journey.



VEGETA: And the boy who said he would never keep a Pokémon . . . kept a Pokémon . . .





"And here we are, stuck in a tree," a bruised and burned Jessie said. James wriggled, trying to get free while Meowth attempted to polish his soiled coin atop his forehead.



JAMES: Oh, Meowth, couldn't you have waited till you got to your sandbox?

JESSIE: James!

JAMES: Sorry, I just felt the urge to say that, so I said it.

JESSIE: This is a bad influence, maybe you shouldn't come in anymore.

JAMES: But it's actually kinda fun, albeit painful.



She looked over to see Yukio, hanging to a branch by his belt. "You're still here?"



KASEY: (Jessie) You didn't eat Ambrosia like we did, why aren't you dead?



He glanced up at her. "Are you hurt, Jessie? Oh no! Let me help you all..." He tried to run over to Team Rocket, but then remembered he was stuck. He stopped struggling and turned to them with sad eyes. "So, am I in Team Rocket?"

"Please..." James groaned. "...Not now."



VEGETA: James *finally* says no to Jessie!



"Yeah," Meowth spat out. "We have a place for ya..In da toilet department!"

"We'll get our revenge," Team Rocket cried in unison. "Someday..."



|>To Be Continued



JESSIE: Kasey! There was no need to threaten the "To Be Continued" sign with a dagger!

KASEY: But I DON'T want it to continue!

VEGETA: (announcer) Be sure to tune in every Saturday at nine o'clock on Fox to see the continuing adventures of Todd the Constipated and Ninetails the wonder mutt!

JAMES: (announcer) Watch as they discover just HOW Ninetails evolved in the wild, while solving the mystery of the mummy's jewels all at the same time.

JESSIE: (announcer) Then watch as Todd is kidnaped by pretty alien women who say Todd is their king.

VEGETA: Lucky guy.

KASEY: (announcer) But then watch as the alien women turn into serpents and try to sacrifice him. Will Ninetails make it on time?



______________________________________________________________________________

Author's Notes



Yes, this was an extremely short fanfic.



JESSIE: Hey, it was. Thank you, CTR!



Usually, I write much longer stories.



KASEY: Tell us about it.

VEGETA: And thanks for not making it a chick 'fic!



But this was just a little thing I threw together at the last moment. ^_^ As you can see, this had no magical Powers or Sailor Scouts in it. 'Snapshot!' is based almost entirely after the Anime.



JAMES: Yeah, almost meaning that Jessie and I never do what you made us do.

JESSIE: That's the Rocketshippers for ya.

KASEY: I think there are more of those stories than anything else.

JAMES: Oh, how sad.



And I adore Todd, the little shutter-bug that he is!



VEGETA: The little, whiny, constipated boy that he is!

JESSIE: I swear I saw him in my bathroom with that camera of his while I was getting out of the shower! I should kill him just for that assumption.

KASEY: Do that and Rob'll be REALLY mad.

JESSIE: Sigh~ You're right . . .

VEGETA: Stop talking, it's over, get out!

(all stand)



HOME



JAMES: I would love to . . . but I can't! (sob)

(all exeunt)



~*~*~*~*~*~



"Oh, hi, Ninetails!" Vegeta, dressed as Todd and sounding his best like Todd, wove. Kasey walked to his side, dressed as a Ninetails and panting. "Ninetails nine!"

"Hahahah!" he forced out a grating laugh. "That's nice, Ninetails. Now what's the adventure for today?"

"Nine! Ninetails!" Kasey barked.

"Take more pictures? That sounds like FUN!" His acting was terrible, but it oddly fit for this.

He walked about clicking with an "expensive looking" camera, when, suddenly, Team Rocket, Jessie with her hair pulled up in a ponytail, jumped out of nowhere, along with Meowth. "Stop!" all three commanded.

"We're here to take our revenge on you, idiot!" James shouted, making a fist.

"Nyaa nte ne!" Meowth shouted, before getting kicked by Jessie. "I mean, that's right!"

"You made us look like fools!" Jessie pulled out a ball. "And we had to bear the pain named Yukio! Arbok, go," she said dully and threw the ball, which hit Kasey straight on the face. She promptly fell over.

"Ninetails, no!" Vegeta screamed. "I'll show you!" He lifted up the camera and was about to throw it when:

"My camera!"

The real Todd came onto this ridiculous scene that was taking place in front of the Comm Port. He kicked Vegeta in the shins and grabbed his camera as the Saiyjin dropped it. "You guys are jerks!" Off he ran, holding his precious camera close.

"Well, you're a PERVERT, Todd!" Jessie screamed after him.

Kasey pulled herself up and called after him, groggily, "I thought the Captains told ya to speak in your better Japanese voice, mister!"

"That brat," Vegeta mumbled. "I'll show him!" He held out his hands, "Garlic Gu--!!!"

"No!" James shrieked has he pulled Vegeta's arms up, the ki dissipating. "We'll get him later on, just not kill him."

Vegeta sighed. "Okay."

Kasey turned toward the Comm Port and asked, "What do you think of that, sirs?"

Rob and Prime merely stared at the group. "I thought it was entertaining," Prime announced, seeming to smile through all the fur.

Rob glared at the Primeape. "That's because you're an idiot, now go steer the darned boat for Maiden's Peak!"

"Yessir!" Prime saluted and scampered off.

Both Kasey and Jessie awed at the cuteness of Prime.

Rob cleared his throat, catching their attentions again. "So what you're telling me is that you didn't particularly enjoy that 'fic."

They all nodded.

"Why, grammar mistakes?"

"There was only one," they all said as they shook their heads "no".

"Spelling?"

Shake.

"Bad plotline?"

They seemed to consider this.

"Didn't like the characters?"

They all nodded furiously, making sure that the point went across.

"Good, I'm glad it brought you pain." He wrote on a piece of paper and set it on the keyboard of his laptop. "I told you I would send you a painful one for losing both Angie and Jessica!" His smile broadened as James burst into tears.

Jessie held him in her arms and screamed at the orange haired man, "Why did you say that! He had forgotten about it till now!"

Mister Tapert shrugged. "I like seeing people in pain. What do you expect? I'm evil AND a TV producer!" He began to laugh insanely. "Now, get back to your meaningless lives while I try to fix the people transporter and get those two back." He shook his head and mumbled, "Though I don't know why I should . . ." He reached over and canceled the communications link, shouting, "Prime, watch out for those rocks, you damned idiot!"



The End



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A Quick Note: I can't pronounce "photographer" without help from Maelstrom. I thought I'd share my shortcomings with you, the reader. Thank you.



I succeeded in something! Yayayaya! 'Member how I said somewhere, sometime, that I only wanted Jessica and James to be a couple on the SoD just so I can make a few Rocketshippers angry? I did! CTR was reading RP3 and she e-mailed me spitting brimstone and fire hollering that Jessica and James can't be a couple! Only Jessie and James! Only! I smiled and wrote back that that was the exact reaction I wanted! Like I said, I like Brock more than James, actually, (don't ask me why, I just like the squinty eyed freak, probably 'coz he reminds me a lot of me . . . but so does James . . . oh well). The point is, I wanted to make a Rocketshipper fume, and I did! Thank you CTR! (BTW, she really didn't spit brimstone and fire, she merely cried. ^_^)

And my host segments are getting a bit better. I don't really like to do them, actually I LOVE doing them, but when I do I make them, like, twenty pages long and it tees me off. But I loved that wrestling one. I should have said "rassling" but oh well. I would like to acknowledge cousin She-Wolf for that inspiration. I have no idea how that happened-- oh, yes, we were watching Evil Dead 2 and I made a comment about how tough Ash is and she said something about ki, and then one of us, probably me, said, "I betchya Ash could whoop Freeza's ass!" Then I believe she mentioned Ash Ketchum and that's how that started. The ending one was just for fun of imagining Vegeta dressed as Todd and Kasey as a Ninetails, and we all got to see Professor Prime again, the kawaii-est of the kawaii!

Jessie and James were interesting to use, but it probably gave them headaches. hehe, I still like the, "I like you Jessie, but, yech!" Maybe I'll piss off a few more Rocketshippers. (I wanna be unique and stand out, so I make people upset. ^_^). Oh, and when Kasey predicted Ninetails would be back, she actually predicted that in real life! CTR only had the four chapters up and that's what I printed out first, writing half the riffs that are on here today on those sheets, and when Maelstrom, aka Kasey, reviewed them, she said, "I betchya Ninetails will be back." And lo and behold, a couple of weeks later when CTR finally finished the fanfic, Ninetails was back! She had psychic abilities for a bit there. ^_^ That's all for my notes, now for a quote from Freakazoid!:

COSGROVE: Hospitals are there to help you when you're feeling kinda urpy, or when you have a foreign substance stuck up your nose.

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He hoisted his drooping backpack higher onto his back and walked away.



c 1999, Jaimielée Rocket & Maelstrom (celebrating the fact I have finally memorized the sequence for "É"!)



(On next "week's" episode-

"Episode Seven: Sailor Meowth,

Jessica Reads Yet Another SM/Pokemon Xover")