"The Satellite of 'Dite,
the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"
By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom
Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!
Smut: Uh~ debated
Violence: Hm~ debated
"Episode Eight: One Too Many,
Angie Forgets About Bardok?!"
Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. Joel and the 'bots would go under Disclaimer number one along with Dr. F and TV's Frank. The fanfic belongs to Anni Ruecroft.
A Big Thanks: This is to Anni. I need new authors and you are one of the ones to reply. -Sniff- THANK YOU! (I'm emotional . . .)
Apologies: To me dear cousin "She-Wolf". I know you don't know much about Joel, and that you like Bardok a lot more, but I wanted to make one of these strange SoL series different from the other. And since Jessica is "madly in love" with James, and he's spoken about much more than Bardok, I decided to have fun with you and Joel. This IS a parody on us compared to real life. I mean, geez, I actually like BROCK more than James, but I wanted to make a few Rocketshippers mad. ^_^ ("So the true reason comes out, Jaimielée Rocket!") Plus, it's really fun to draw Angie with hearts in her eyes whenever Bardok is mentioned when she's with Joel, and when Joel is mentioned when she's with Bardok. Very much like Usagi. And I know that you liked it too 'coz you wanted to copy the pix I drew of Angie freaking out over an e-mail sent by Joel and it also had Angie and Joel kissing (a joke coming later on, readers), but Bardok was on it looking jealous as well, so maybe that's why you wanted it. But I drew a cool pix of Angie and Bardok for you! Hope that makes you happy and accepting of this idea. Oh, and any Joel fans out there, he's been gone for seven years and I can use his character for that if I want! Bwahahahah! I am the god! I am the god! (-shoots laser beams-) I'll shut up now.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been about a week since Angie found herself on the Satellite of Love. She adapted well to strange happenings, so she immediately made herself feel at home there. She had three of Joel's old jump suits to wear, couple of boxers from Servo's collection, a flannel shirt to wear for a pajama top and enough hair and body supplies that Crow had stored up for some odd reason. She still wondered how she would get back to her cousin on the Satellite of 'Dite, upon realizing that she was in a different dimension, but she figured either Jessica would figure a way to save her, or Joel and the 'bots would somehow get her back to her rightful realm. If only they could get her back to her Earth! But that was hopeful wishing. Rob would make sure they would never get to Earth. Every mecha they had built on the SoD always blew up *somehow* before they could even leave the airlock.
She had her own bedroom, a few decks above the bridge. She discovered, after having got lost once, that the bridge was pretty high up and quite a few hallways ended at that opening and you could drop to your death pretty easily if you don't pay attention that the corridors drop. At that moment, she had just woken up and was getting ready for the day. Joel also gave her a few tank tops to wear to bed or for undershirts and the one she was wearing then was a PJ and so she was pulling it over her head, but then she heard a strange noise. Pulling the top back down, she spun around and glared at a shadowed corner, brandishing a hair brush. "Who's there! Get out, pervert!"
No one came out, but she swore she heard the noise again; a giggle. Frowning darkly, she tossed the brush into the corner and she heard a metallic clank and a loud, "Hey!"
"Get out!!!!!" she shrieked, stalking forward, holding onto a hot hair curler now. Whimpering, Crow walked out, rubbing his head. "What are you doing here!?"
He peered up and glanced around. "You mean this isn't JOEL'S room?" he obviously lied.
"You sick, twisted robot!" She charged him. "I'm gonna dismantle ya and make it so you can never be put together again, and I know how, too! B-ko taught me! Argh!"
"Woah!" Crow exclaimed, seeing her run at him. Coming out of the trance of seeing a woman run without a bra on under a shirt, he turned on his heel and dashed out the door, Angie right behind him. "Aaa! Joel! Joel! Help! Angie went berserk! Ack! Help! Servo!" Crying, he ran down the hallway, all the way to the edge, where it dropped off into the bridge, like Angie had discovered. He zipped out of sight and before Angie realized where she was, she ran off the dead end and plummeted down above Crow. "Aa! Mommy! Mommy!" he sobbed as she simply shrieked and cried.
They fell a couple of floors before they finally landed behind the counter with a resounding "CRACK!" There was pure silence before you could hear Angie and Crow crying again. A river of tears flowed out of Angie's eyes and she howled, "Wahh! Wahh! I broke my LEG! Wahhhhh!" She sat up, tapped her leg, felt the terrible pain, and continued to cry.
Crow sat next to her, sobbing but no tears flowing, his pupils shut. "I broke my NET!" Indeed, the lattice work net on the top of his head had snapped off its stem on the left side of his head and hung precariously by the partially broken other stem.
The sobbing drew Joel and Servo into the room and they both peered over the counter to see the pitiful two. Joel groaned. "What happened here, you two?" He came around and knelt first by Angie.
"Crow-- that-that peeping T-t-tom! In bedroom when ta-taking-g shirt off! Chase, fall off edge! Leg broken-en-en!" Her answer was broken by her loud sobs.
The man glared at Crow, who didn't catch the scolding look since he was mourning over his broken net. He looked at Angie's right leg, which was purple and swelling at the ankle. He touched it gently, to which Angie screeched out in pain. He ignored her and moved it. Shaking his head, he put his arms under her and lifted her up. Still sobbing, she wrapped her arms around his neck and made his shoulder wet from tears. He glanced down at Servo, who was teasing Crow, and ordered, "Servo, get Crow. I'll fix him after Angie- she only has a sprained ankle."
Lifting her head from his shoulder, she cried in protest, "I BROKE it!!!"
"Right thing, Joel," Servo replied. He took hold of one of Crow's long legs and began to drag him across the floor to the robotics room, where Joel usually fixed them when they got seriously broken, which was often.
Joel carried Angie to his room where the human medical supplies were located and set her down on his bed. She had stopped crying, mostly because she had all but ran out of tears and now felt quite dehydrated, and she sat there sniffling, hunched over and looking much like a little girl who had just scraped her knee. Joel disappeared for a bit and returned carrying a First Aide bag and pulled out some gauze and instant-freezing icepacks. Quietly, he went to work on her ankle, propping it on his knee, holding the ice pack on it for her, to reduce swelling, y'know. Gradually, the leftover tears disappeared from her eyes and her sniffling stopped. After that, redness creeped into her face, and now she was hunched up from shyness. She leaned back and stared at the man, feeling all that warmness and stuff that is associated with coming love attacks.
'Bardok NEVER did this for me!' she thought to herself. 'Last time I was hurt like this, he left me where I was and went to find Etoh. Just left me there to fend for myself! We were in the abandoned Curve, I could've been attacked by the Deadites and youma that live there! But Joel didn't leave me, even though there isn't too much danger on the SoL, but the point is that he CARRIED me and he's helping me with his own hands! Bardok never did that . . .' She shook her head, the blush momentarily going away. 'What am I thinking! Bardok's my guy! He's big and muscular and can fight like anything that can fight real strong. Joel is just . . . a nice guy that doesn't act like he's the toughest thing in the world. That's Servo.' The blush returned. 'Hmm, I'm new to this adult stuff, being only twenty-one, but could this possibly be attraction and not lust? Wow! Sensation altogether new! Could it be that true love crap that Jessica always wishes for? Or that Mamoru/Usagi thing, it's destiny?' Her brown eyes reflected with little pink hearts as tiny fantasies filtered through her head, like she being a Moon Princess and Joel the guy in the tuxedo. 'What Bardok doesn't know won't kill him . . . and he had better not find out 'less he'll murder dear Joel.'
Having thought that, she leaned forward and stared at Joel with soft eyes and sighed as he pulled off the ice pack. Then he jabbed at the purple ankle and she screamed in pain. He flinched and said in a sympathetic voice, "Gee, sorry, Angie. Good news is that the swelling is down a tiny bit. Want to continue holding it there or wrap it?"
Dreamily, yet the voice taut from pain, she replied, "Will you hold it there for me?"
He smiled kindly. "Sorry, but I gotta go fix Crow."
Her face fell, but she smiled again. "Wrap it then."
He nodded and began to do so, making sure the gauze was on tight. "Want crutches?"
"I think I will need them."
"I think so, too." A second later, he set the metal clasps on and gently put the foot down. He tossed her the ice pack, went away, and returned with the crutches. "Here ya go."
She hopped onto her good foot and took them. "Thank you, Joel," she told him demurely, still red in the face. "I'll hafta find a way to thank you later."
He wove the offer off. "Nah, don't worry. 'Less you can get me offa the ship, there's not much you can do."
She about replied to that, then snapped her mouth close and shook her head as if telling herself "no". She smiled at him and said instead, "I hafta, y'see, it's the Idahoan way. We're about the last state left in the U.S. that have people in it that don't take something without giving something back." She hobbled forward and stood next to him. "Thanks!" She gave him a swift kiss on the cheek, then turned and hobbled away, murmuring, "I hafta go take a cold shower."
Joel watched her leave, thinking that she was acting peculiar. He shrugged it off and left his room behind her, heading toward the robotics room.
Angie had to hobble past the bridge to reach the stairs to get up to her room. "Boy, that'll be fun . . ." she muttered to herself. As she passed by the hexfield, the red button on the series of three went off. She halted, wondered if she should answer, then she decided to and tapped it, calling out, "Hey! The boke yowamushi is calling!!!" She smirked at her insult and turned to the screen. "What do ya want, Foruresutaa-san?"
Deep 13:
Dr. F smiled and nodded, saying in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "Cute, new girl. But what does 'bo-kay yo-wah-moo-she' mean?"
SoL:
Angie hopped up on the counter to get off her wounded joint, and just smiled coyly back. "You're so smart, figure it out!"
D13:
"Why you insolent . . ." he growled, then composed himself. He yelled over his shoulder, "Frank!"
The white-haired assistant appeared eating a container of yogurt. "Yes, Clayton?"
"Look up this Japanese word, 'bo-kay yo-wah-moo-she'."
"Sir, that means 'befuddled wimp'," Frank replied, taking another spoonful of the healthy snack.
"How'd you know that?" he exclaimed, surprised that Frank knew what it meant.
He shrugged. "Since Mister Tapert had been sending us Japanese cartoons to watch for research, I decided to use that computer he sent us to go onto the Inter-Net and learn a few Japanese words. Including insults."
"Hmmmm," Dr. F mused. "You can use that computer to do that?" Frank nodded. "I must look into it. I thought it was only for transport . . ." He stopped musing when he remembered that he was speaking to the woman up in the satellite. "Oh, yes, that reminds me. I WASN'T going to send you the fanfic that Rob sent us today, but now that you had insulted me the way you did, I WILL! Bwahahahahahah! It's main plot-- the fem boy gets drunk. 'One too many', by talented little Anni Ruecroft. Enjoy, you little . . ." he paused. "Uhhhhhh, Frank, insult!"
TV's Frank tapped the spoon on the edge of the container in thought. "How about 'manuke pecha-pai akujo'?"
Dr. F turned back and shouted, "You mah-nu-kay peh-cha-pah-ee ah-koo-joh!" Over his shoulder, he mumbled, "Send them the fanfic, Frank."
"Right away, sir!"
SoL:
Angie sat, red in the face from anger. "You-you jerk! How dare you call me a dimwitted, flat-chested repulsive woman! Is a 36B flat-chested to YOU!?"
Joel, Servo and a fixed Crow stepped into the bridge. "Who was that, Angie?" the red 'bot asked, hovering up next to her.
She hopped down onto her good foot, growling and hissing. "That was Dr. F and he was really mean! He called me a manuke pecha-pai akujo!"
"That cad!" Servo shouted, highly offended. Then he paused. "A what?"
Before she had chance to reply, the movie/fanfic sign began to go off. "What?!" Crow exclaimed. "But Dr. F said that he and Frank were going to run a few errands and NOT send a fanfic up to us!"
Blushing, Angie put a finger onto her lips. "Did I mention that I called him a boke yowamushi and that I didn't know that Frank knew a speck of Japanese?"
"I WAS going to apologize for that incident with the spying!" Crow shouted at her. "But now I'm not!"
"C'mon!" Joel shouted, tapping a button. "We better get in the theater before we all die!" The 'bots ran off and he took hold of Angie's arm. Angie thought her heart was going to burst from contained excitement . . .
~*~*~*~*~*~
(all enter, Angie sits in the fourth seat, although now she desperately wants to sit next to Joel, Servo in the third, Joel in the second and Crow in the first.)
CROW: I can't BELIEVE you made Dr. F mad enough to send us a fanfic!
ANGIE: (sighing and staring at Joel) Sorry~
SERVO: Are you feeling all right? You're freaking me out with the big, googly eye thing going on there.
ANGIE: (blinks and faces the screen) Oh, sorry.
-----
CROW: Why don't you take a flying leap offa that, Angie?
ANGIE: Why don't you stick that up your ass, Crow?
JOEL: Hey hey hey, now everyone calm down.
CROW & ANGIE: Grrr . . .
One too many
ANGIE: . . . Girlfriends? I like that episode of Sailor Moon.
- By Anni Ruecroft
SERVO: Anni shall "Rue" the day that she "crofted" this fanfic! hehe . . .
Jesse sat in front of a small fire stirring her hot drink.
Darkness was beginning to set in over the forest and the moon was full
in the sky.
JOEL: She'd better run, the Army of Darkness is beginning to set in over the forest after all.
Meowth sat facing Jesse from the other side of the fire.
"That's it, I'm full", he smiled and patted his stomach after pushing
his empty plate away.
CROW: (Meowth) Boy, that James was delicious!
Jesse yawned and picked up her sleeping bag. She began to unfolded it
and laid it on the ground.
"No, I'd better wait up", she thought out loud.
ANGIE: (Jessie) God knows what crawled into my sleeping bag.
"How come?", Meowth questioned as he warmed his paws in front of the
flames, "He's big enough and ugly enough to take care of himself".
SERVO: -Foosh!- (Meowth) Ahh, my hands are on "fiya"!
JOEL: Ha, like from the last 'fic, only his hands are on fire, not his tail.
SERVO: Yup.
"He went off in such a hurry earlier and I just know he's going to get
lost when he comes back", Jesse explained,
CROW: (Jessie) Maybe I shouldn't have chased him off with my bazooka . . .
"And I don't want to be woken
up in the middle of the night by a lost James frantically calling out
for us".
ANGIE: What is he, related to Ryoga Hibiki or something?
Meowth chuckled, after all, that was a likely scenario.
SERVO: An unlikely scenario is that Meowth would score with Jessie.
ANGIE: DON'T say that! You'll give a hentai writer an idea!
SERVO: Oops, sorry.
The Team had set up camp here just hours earlier and Jesse and James had
immediately gone into town to scavenge some supplies.
The two of them had been about to leave town when James recognised
JOEL: ANOTHER British writer? First Verna or icecube, now Anni?
CROW: Don't say anything, we don't want any angry British people storming the satellite.
Dan,
an old friend of his.
ANGIE: Dear Dan, how are you? I am fine, unless if you discount the fact that I am dictating this to a nurse because, thanks to you, dear friend, I lost all use of my body but from the neck up. Sending you a "gift basket" along with this note. (Bwahahahahah!) Yours truly, James.
Dan had joined Team Rocket at roughly the same time as Jesse and James
SERVO: That famous outlaw became a member of Team Rocket?
but he quit a few months later to become a guitarist in a band.
JOEL: (Dan, wimpy) It was just too HARD!
CROW: All that Pikachu chasing musta gotten to him.
ANGIE: (Dan) Being blown up, electrocuted, drowned, buried in concrete, falling from tall buildings, being roasted and fried and frozen and lost and hungry! It was just too much!
SERVO: (Jessie and James) You wuss.
James and Dan were good friends in the short time they knew each other
but Dan was always getting into trouble with his superiors and had, in
the short time, become a rather disruptive influence over James.
JOEL: Whenever James leaned over in the shower Dan would snap him with a towel.
Jesse
had been glad when he had quit.
James had recognised him instantly in the town. Dan still had his
scruffy long brown hair and was wearing the usual ripped jeans and a T-
shirt sporting the logo of some heavy metal band.
CROW: Motely Crue all the way!
SERVO: No! Kiss!
ANGIE: James Taylor?
CROW: Oh, shut up, Angie.
(Angie jumps to her feet to charge him, but Servo "accidentally" trips her.)
SERVO: Oops, pardon me.
ANGIE: (picking herself up.) How'd you do that? (sits down)
Before Jesse knew it James had agreed to "Hang out" with Dan that night
in the town to catch up on what they had both been up to recently.
JOEL: (Dan) I was arrested to for molesting eight women and brought up on drug charges. That was fun.
Jesse had a feeling that this was a recipe for disaster...
1:30am.
ANGIE: Washington D. C. Mulder has met up with Cancer Man once again and is tricked into believing that his sister was kidnaped by aliens wearing bloomers.
She stared at her watch.
When James and Dan got back she would kill them both, metaphorically
speaking of course.
SERVO: Of COURSE. (to Joel) You might wanna call the FBI.
Jesse sighed angrily.
"Go to sleep!", Meowth whined, "You're driving me nuts!".
CROW: (Meowth) What with the staring at the watch and sighing! Argh!
Jesse reluctantly laid down on her sleeping bag. She hadn't gotten
changed and she didn't want to in case James and Dan returned and she
didn't want Dan of all people to see her in her night wear.
JOEL: What, does she sleep in the buff?
SERVO: I wish I could insert myself into this fanfic.
"Men!", she grumbled quietly to herself.
ANGIE: (Jessie) THAT'S what the opposite sex is called!
After a few minutes slowly passed Jesse fell asleep.
CROW: Ahhhh, she looks like a rabid badger when she's sleeping. In a peaceful way, that is.
Hours passed until she sat up and listened intently.
She could hear something or, more accurately, someone in the distance.
3:10am her watch read.
SERVO: Then the watch read Aristotle and Sappho, then some Freudian essays . . .
"James!", she cursed angrily,
JOEL: No taking James' name in vain! Bad Jessie.
CROW: Isn't that one of the Ten Commandments?
ANGIE: No, that's "Thou shalt not take . . . uh . . . Lord Ducane's name in vain" . . .
SERVO: Why do I have a feeling you don't know.
ANGIE: I should! Argh! Stupid space and interstellar and dimensional travelings and shenanigans . . . Makes you dumb.
"Just wait until I get hold of you and
your stupid friend!".
Jesse stood and marched off into the forest.
ALL: (make various noises of wild animals tearing Jessie apart)
"Wait, wait, wait", Dan spluttered, "How's it go again buddy?".
The two of them were slowly staggering into the forest each with an arm
over the others shoulder to prevent them from falling into a drunken
heap on the ground.
"What?", James asked as he took a sip from a bottle, "How's what go?".
ANGIE: For God's sake, he's only seventeen!
Dan tapped James over the head with his own half full bottle, "The song
dummy!".
SERVO: The song "Dummy"? Never heard of it. I could try though.
CROW: No.
SERVO: I have a good voice!
"Oh...the song!", James responded laughing.
James held his beer bottle in front of his lips as if it were a
microphone as drunkenly started to sing, "You know us as Team Rocket and
we...uh...fight for what is wrong...ummm, we're tired of our motto so we
thought we'd try a song!".
JOEL: Dan, in a horrible fit of disgust, broke his bottle on a tree and attacked James with the jagged edges. Oh, the humanity!
"Jesse!", Dan continued as he mocked Jesse's voice.
"James!", James struck a pose as he announced his name.
"The speed of light, prepare to...Argh!!!...",
SERVO: Eww, he threw up in the middle of a song!
before the two of them
could complete the line Dan tripped, fell onto James, and the two fell
into an inevitable heap.
JOEL: "Inevitable"? Does this mean that it was bound to happen that Dan was gonna crush James?
"Sorry dude",
CROW: He just called James a gay cowboy. hehe.
ANGIE: Really? THAT'S what that means?
CROW: Sure does.
ANGIE: Wow . . .
Dan apologised laughing
SERVO: (Dan) Oh, dude, I'm sorry about laughing. That was really dumb of me.
as he tried in vain to get to his
feet.
James lay on the ground laughing like a madman, "Jesse gonna kill us!",
he laughed.
Dan laughed happily, "And what a chick to be killed by! She gorgeous!".
"...And she's all mine", James sniggered.
JOEL: And again we see that pattern of a "Rocketship" story, or whatever that word is.
CROW: These 'fics are getting out of hand! We must stop them!
Dan opened a new bottle, "You mean you and her...You?...Y'know?"
ANGIE: (Dan) You . . . and you and her . . . and her . . . You mean her, and y'know?
James sighed, "Well no...but...Oh shut up Dan!".
SERVO: (James) That last sentence you said hurt!
"Hey", Dan pondered, "if you two had a kid, what colour hair would the
poor thing end up with?"
"Dunno", James smiled, "What colour do pink and purple make anyway?"
CROW: Well, RED and BLUE make PURPLE . . .
JOEL: What color ARE their hair?
CROW: Red and blue!
SERVO: Pink and pumpernickel!
ANGIE: Magenta and sky blue!
(they start to argue)
JOEL: I had to ask.
"Uh...Pinkle?".
(Angie, Crow and Servo stop arguing.) THOSE THREE: Pinkle?! (burst out laughing)
ANGIE: That was funny.
JOEL: Sigh~
The two laughed loudly again and Dan reached down to pull the giggling
James back to his feet. However, the effects of numerous bottles of beer
wouldn't allow it and Dan fell over again.
JOEL: -Crack!- (Dan) Woah, sorry, dude! Your hair's no longer blue NOW.
James had laughed so much that tears now filled his eyes. He rolled over
and managed to rise to his knees.
SERVO: And he promptly proceeded to puke from such sudden movement.
"Race you back to camp!", James challenged.
"Okay", Dan grinned as he too got to his knees.
Both Dan and James proceeded to ridiculously race each other on their
hands and knees until James stopped and let himself fall face first into
the dirt.
CROW: Joel, Angie, did you ever act like this when you were drunk.
JOEL: I choose not to answer.
ANGIE: Never drank that much in my whole life, if at all.
CROW: Geez, you manage to get us all in trouble AND you're a nark?
ANGIE: Grrrrr . . .
"Uh, Dan!", he cried out as a new wave of laughter took him over.
"Yeah!", Dan replied as he looked back.
SERVO: (James) I broke my head open on a tree! Is that all right?
James crawled next to Dan, "We racing to camp?".
"That's what you said buddy", Dan nodded.
"Oh", James replied with a long pause, "...Where is camp?".
Dan and James looked at each other blankly until their faces were
engulfed with a smirk followed by them both bursting out in fits of
laughter yet again.
Jesse marched at speed towards the noise she could hear.
ALL: (make car accelerating noises)
She walked a little further until the moonlight revealed two figures in
a heap on the ground.
"James!!", she roared.
ALL: Edit!!!
James and Dan looked up at the figure before them.
JOEL: (James) What's the color of your hair? I have a bet with Dan.
"I've died and gone to heaven", Dan grinned staring at Jesse.
"Idiot!", Jesse cursed and kicked Dan in the side.
SERVO: You should NOT do that to a drunk man. It might ruin your shoes . . .
"Don't stop, I might like it!", Dan laughed as he rubbed his side.
ANGIE: Why that mangy pervert! Kick his ass, Jessie!
JOEL: Hey, language.
ANGIE: (immediately calming down) Yes, Joel~
SERVO: Again with those eyes!
ANGIE: (turning back to the screen) Oops, sorry.
Jesse ignored Dan and turned her attention to James who was lying on his
stomach and waving at her with a totally innocent smile on his face.
Jesse sighed at the site, "Come on, funs over, get up now!".
Jesse reached down and took James's hand to pull him up but he refused
to stand, "I don't wanna go! Pikachu thunder shock!!".
Jesse looked extremely un-amused.
CROW: And a stray Pikachu, upon hearing that command, electrocuted Jessie. The end.
"James!!", she snapped, "Stop acting like a five year old!
JOEL: A drunk five year old.
You're coming
back to camp!".
ANGIE: (Jessie) The counselor's gonna be really mad, and it's time to ride the horses.
"I don't feel so good", Dan muttered and crawled to the nearest bush to
throw up.
SERVO: Ahhh, the smell of the wilderness. (takes in a deep breath)
Jesse looked disgusted and began to drag James slowly along the ground
until they were away from Dan.
CROW: Yech, he was SPLATTERING!
James looked up as he was being dragged, "Jesse?".
She looked down at him as he continued, "Did I ever tell you that you
don't run properly?".
ANGIE: (bad southern accent) You're not runnin' properly!
CROW: (James) Growly, attack Jezebel!
SERVO: And a stray Growlithe, upon hearing this command, mauled Jessie to death. The end.
"That's it!", Jesse shouted and forcibly pulled James to his feet.
"Growly! Help!", James cried out.
SERVO: And a stray-- No wait, I said that already.
JOEL: (chuckle) Getting a bit confused?
SERVO: Yeah.
James swayed as he stood and placed his arm around Jesse's shoulder to
steady himself.
"James, I've had enough of this", Jesse snapped, "You've had your fun
now behave!".
ANGIE: (Jessie) Sit! Roll over! Goooood, James.
James leaned his head against hers, "You know you're gorgeous when
you're angry Jess", he smiled.
"What?", Jesse asked.
"Actually you're always gorgeous", James smiled as he tried to pull her
closer, "You're stunning".
CROW: And Jessie passed out from the terrible smell coming from James' mouth. The end.
"Whatever James", Jesse said brushing him off, "Just shut up, come back
to camp and go to sleep".
"Can I snuggle up with you?", he giggled.
JOEL: Not while WE'RE here to read it, buddy.
"Don't push it James", Jesse turned to him as she pulled him along by
his wrist, "You've annoyed me quite enough for one day".
SERVO: And as they passed by a cliff, James decided to push a little bit more and Jessie fell down it. The end.
ANGIE: Getting kinda morbid with Jessie today, aren't we?
SERVO: It seems like the more probable way for the fanfic to end.
He moved forward to hug her but she pushed him back.
"Aww c'mon Jess", he protested, "Let me make it up to you".
ANGIE: (Jessie) C'mon man, clean yourself up first!
JOEL: (Jessie) You got Dan all over your body!
CROW: I swear, I'm never gonna get drunk for fun ever again.
SERVO: What about during parties? You're always great fun when you're drunk during parties.
CROW: Well, I never get drunk for my own PERSONAL fun.
She yanked him by his wrist again and started towards the camp, "You can
make it up to me by shutting up and sobering up!".
"But Jess, we'd be great together!", James pleaded.
JOEL: (James) Our child's hair will be PINKLE!
Jesse ignored him and continued to pull him along behind her.
"Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse Jesse
Jesse", he began repeating non-stop to wind her up.
CROW: And when you finish winding her, she spins about like a top, serving hours of fun.
Before James knew it Jesse pushed him back onto the ground as hard as
she could.
She bent down next to him and furiously pulled his face up to hers by
grabbing a fistful of his purple hair, "I am **not** going to tell you
again James, **shut up**!!".
James reacted instantly. He pulled her down onto him and kissed her
lips.
ANGIE: Oh, ick, imagine the SMELL. (all shudder)
With all her strength Jesse slapped James's face as hard as she possibly
could.
SERVO: As opposed to "with all her strength".
He let go of her immediately and she pulled herself aside trembling a
little.
CROW: (Jessie) I-Is it just me, or did it get d-drafty?
ANGIE: (James) Maybe if you pull down the back of your skirt where I had been groping you.
'Did he just do that?', she wondered in disbelief.
That was a side of James that Jesse never even knew existed and she was
glad of it.
JOEL: (Jessie) A BOY kissed me! I'm covered with cooties! Ptew! Ptew!
She looked at her hand and wondered how far James would have gone had
she not hit him.
He still lay there staring at her, "I...Love...you".
CROW: (James) And...I'm...a..big fan of...Shatner...
SERVO: (James) And...You...Love me... We're...A happy...Family...
Jesse felt numb.
ANGIE: She shouldn't have asked for a double dose of Novocain at the dentis' office.
She knew James was completely drunk but she couldn't help wondering if
he meant any of it. Did he love her?
Jesse shrugged the thought off. It didn't matter, not after what he had
just tried to do to her.
JOEL: He just KISSED her! If he had started pawing her and tried to take off her clothes I would understand, but he only KISSED her.
Again she pulled him back to his feet and pulled him back to camp by his
hair. She knew she was hurting him by yanking on his hair but it was the
only way she felt safe, at least this way she could drag him along
easier than by his wrist.
"How is he?", Meowth asked as Jesse dragged James back into the camp
site.
"Completely ratted", Jesse said and pushed him over onto his sleeping
bag.
CROW: (Jessie) While dragging him back, a bunch of rats attacked! It was wild!
Somehow James managed to stagger back to his feet and, from behind, he
grabbed Jesse sharply by her hair.
"See how you like it Jesse!", he snarled.
"James!!",
ANGIE: (Jessie) NEVER-TOUCH-THE-'DO! (imitates mallet whap)
Jesse shouted as he tightened the sharp grip on her hair.
Three stinging lines flashed across James's face,
SERVO: Jessie had better stop using so much hairspray! Three hair strands were so sharp they cut James' face!
he let go of Jesse and
held his hands over his face as he cried out.
Before he could open his eyes he was unconscious on the grass.
JOEL: Then they slowly opened, he whispered one word-- (soft) . . . rose . . .-- and they forever stared fixated at the stars.
CROW: (Jessie) Smooth one, Meowth! You killed James.
ANGIE: (Meowth) I forgot I had doused my claws in poison beforehand.
Meowth looked at Jesse, startled.
James's behaviour was out of line so Meowth had instantly delivered a
fury swipe to James but he was shocked when he saw Jesse swing a fist at
him and knock him clean out.
SERVO: Okay, so James was scratched then Jessie punched his dim lights out?
JOEL: Looks like it.
SERVO: Does he realize how big of a wuss he is?
ANGIE: He cries about it every night. I've heard him.
Both stood looking at each other for a couple of seconds and, without a
word, both silently went towards their sleeping bags.
Sunlight.
CROW: And the silence was so great, as represented by that gap.
JOEL: (frighteningly cheerful) Every bottle of Sunny D contains at least three rays of sunlight. Hee hee!
James weakly held his hands over his eyes.
SERVO: (James) Too many colors!
After a few seconds he opened his eyes
ANGIE: Repetition! Thank you! Again? Good!
and brushed his fingers through
his purple hair.
His vision cleared from a messy blur after a few moments.
CROW: The dangers of eyedrops.
He felt terrible.
JOEL: He also felt pretty, but he had no clue as to why.
His head felt like it had been used as a football and he felt slightly
sick.
SERVO: (mother) What did you learn today, James?
ANGIE: (James as a kid) I learned that hangovers really really hurt, mommy!
CROW: Oh, and never let Notre Dame use your head for a football, no matter how much they pay you.
James mustered the energy to sit up.
At first he couldn't understand why he was sleeping on the grass rather
than in his sleeping bag.
Then he remembered.
JOEL: He remembered the Christmas night he thought Santa was visiting, but it turned out to be his dad, wasted again and peeing on the tree!
ANGIE: Brings back memories.
"Uuugh", he groaned, "How much did I drink?".
He looked around and saw Jesse sitting by the remnants of last nights
fire.
She shot him a look and ignored him.
James looked puzzled.
CROW: (James) Ash Ketchum . . . Ash Tree . . . Fire Ash . . . It's a conspiracy! Aaaa!
A sudden memory appeared in James's mind and he gasped.
SERVO: The Easter when his father was so wasted he threw up on the priest while being blessed!
"I didn't!", he whispered to himself, "I...I couldn't have!".
JOEL: (James) I ate the WHOLE thing?
He let his head fall into his hands as he tried to remember.
He remembered racing on the ground with Dan.
ANGIE: And when his father streaked through the church during Ash Wednesday AND Palm Sunday.
James couldn't believe he
had done something so ridiculous.
He thought as hard as he could to piece last night together...
CROW: Look at all the smoke!
SERVO: Let's hope firefighters don't mistake him for a forest fire.
then he
noticed his hand.
ANGIE: He's turning into a damn "ware-wilf"!
There were roughly ten long pink
JOEL: . . . fake nails? Dear Lord, he was so drunk he became a drag queen!
strands of hair tangled in his fingers.
SERVO: The moon came down to visit him.
CROW: Idiot, that's SILVER strands of hair.
SERVO: The moon could do dye jobs!
The images blasted into his mind again...
ANGIE: Kaboom!!! Oh, the carnage! Oh, the humanity!
JOEL: Oh, the Japanity!
Grabbing Jesse on the ground,
SERVO: One . . . two . . . three, and she's pinned! James wins the championship!
ALL: . . . yay . . .
her slapping him, him confessing his love for her...
CROW: He likes it lots when women slap him. Along with other things . . .
and him trying to
hurt her.
"Oh no!!", James whispered.
ANGIE: (James) PLEASE tell me dad didn't pee in the Holy Water like I remember!
Now he felt even worse.
JOEL: He remembered drinking that Holy Water on a dare from Dan.
He looked behind him to where Jesse sat and saw her disappearing out of
the camp towards a stream that was nearby.
SERVO: Things in the mist attacked and took Jessie away.
CROW: How vague and dumb!
SERVO: Wasn't it!
Meowth followed her.
ANGIE: Meowth was her guy now.
Jesse sat by the stream and splashed some water over her face.
JOEL: Ack! Without her make-up she looks hideous! (covers eyes)
She would have to face him sooner or later and she knew that James
wasn't a monster.
SERVO: Just a demon from Hell.
Jesse felt odd. James always feared her but now she was afraid of him.
CROW: You hafta admit it, after all those beatings-- kicks, mallet hits, fan hits, frying pan hits-- she deserved getting her hair yanked.
Irony.
ANGIE: THAT'S what makes a Shakespeare play so great!
JOEL: Irony, that's what she didn't understand in English class and that got her an "F".
SERVO: No, the water tasted irony.
SERVO: She would like to take a bar, maybe something irony, and bash James' face in.
She dried her face with a towel she had brought with her and headed back
to the camp. She couldn't sit by the stream forever.
"Meowth", She said.
The cat looked up.
"I need to speak to James alone", she said quietly.
Meowth nodded, "I'll be here if you need me", he said as he flashed his
claws out.
Jesse nodded and walked back to the camp.
She looked around.
ANGIE: (Jessie) Meowth, I need you!
James was sat on his sleeping back
JOEL: Ouch! I didn't know James practiced yoga.
SERVO: (James) Jessie, could you help me, I seem to be stuck . . .
with his legs crossed and his head
bowed down in shame.
Jesse didn't know what to say or how to begin.
CROW: (Jessie, nervous) Uh, uh . . . Meowth! I need you!
She didn't know if she was angry, sad, afraid or just puzzled.
ANGIE: They must do a lot of jigsaw puzzles.
She moved to her sleeping back
JOEL: Ugh, Jessie must practice it, too!
and put the towel down next to it
SERVO: Just in case if she felt urpy during the night.
when
she noticed something.
CROW: (Jessie) Meowth! In my SLEEPING BAG!?
ANGIE: She noticed her fat free chips were made with Olestra! (makes sick sounds)
Lying on her pillow was a single, perfect, red rose with a small piece
of paper tucked under it.
JOEL: And a mint, those maids are the sweetest things.
Jesse looked at James. He hadn't moved at all.
She reached down, took the rose and unfolded the note.
"Jesse...
SERVO: You are a poop-head and I don't like you at all. Neener neener. Sincerely, James.
Words cannot express my shame at my behaviour.
All I can tell you is that I am truly sorry and will be
for the rest of my life.
James"
CROW: (sobbing) Oh, how beautiful!
JOEL: No wonder all those ladies like him, he's the perfect romantic guy!
ANGIE: Unless if he gets drunk.
SERVO: Then he becomes his dad and pukes and relieves himself on a kid's birthday cake.
Jesse looked and the note and the rose until she heard a sniffling sound
behind her.
CROW: (Jessie) Meowth! He's being all emotional, I need you!
She turned to see that James still sat with his back to her.
JOEL: But since his back was sleeping, it didn't respond to her look.
Nervously she approached him, "Hey".
James said nothing but Jesse could tell that he was crying.
ANGIE: Then, without warning, he LUNGES at her and tears all her hair out!
She pushed his hair back out of his face
ANGIE: And tore it all out?
SERVO: Why do you keep saying that?
ANGIE: I've never seen anyone's hair torn out.
and he turned his head slightly
to look at her in shame.
CROW: (James) I am ashamed . . . as stated fifty THOUSAND TIMES! Argh!!!!!!!
JOEL: (grabs Crow's shoulders) Calm down, Crow!
CROW: Need to send thesaurus to Anni! Must send thesaurus!
JOEL: Later, Crow, later!
CROW: Thesaurus . . . shame! Shame!
Small wet lines ran down James's face as the tears rolled from his eyes.
ANGIE: (James) I'm so sorry I betrayed Jesus.
SERVO: Now what are you talking about?
ANGIE: Well, Peter said that he didn't know Jesus even though he did and he was so ashamed that he cried so much that he had scars from all the tears.
SERVO: Stupid humans and their religions. I'll stick to underwear collecting.
ANGIE: Lucky for you you won't die and go to Hell. . . . wait a minute . . . (laughs evilly)
SERVO: What?
ANGIE: Ever heard of Robot Hell?
SERVO: Uh . . . N-no.
ANGIE: I'll hafta sing that song to you later on. Bwahahahaha! (Servo backs away nervously)
"Shhh", Jesse comforted him.
James couldn't speak, he was distraught and only managed to mouth at her
to say, "I'm so sorry".
JOEL: (sings, dramatically) I'm sorry, so sorry, forgive me! Stop hating, start loving, forgive me!
Jesse reached up and gently rubbed the tears from his face, "It's okay".
He shook his head, "What I did was inexcusable", he whispered.
Jesse shook her head, "James, we've all done crazy things whilst drunk,
even me".
CROW: (Jessie) Me? I start to talk like I'm from the fourteenth century!
James looked down and continued crying.
Jesse took hold of his hands, "James?...Is it true?...Do you love me?".
James broke eye contact from her and looked down.
"James?", Jesse pressed.
ANGIE: (sings) What will James do? What will James do? WHAT WILL JAMES DO!
JOEL: (dully) Cut that out.
ANGIE: . . .
Without a word James slowly nodded.
SERVO: (James) I like peas, yes.
With that Jesse pulled him close and hugged him tightly, "Why didn't you
tell me sooner?".
CROW: (James) Because I love Ringo Star more.
James hugged Jesse back, "I...didn't know how".
JOEL: (James) . . . to put down the toilet seat. I'm so sorry! -sob!-
"James", Jesse pulled her face close to his, "Just shut up".
Jesse leaned forward and kissed James on the lips in forgiveness.
ANGIE: "Just shut up" wins you a kiss? I should try that sometime . . .
"You were right about one thing last night James", she said as their
lips separated.
"What?", James asked, looking a little happier.
SERVO: (James, dumb) I'm gonna get lucky, YEAH!!!
"You said we'd be great together", Jesse grinned.
CROW: (Jessie) Our child's hair will be PINKLE!
ALL: (snicker)
James smiled trying not to remember the previous night.
JOEL: He also tried no to remember when his dad got so drunk that he went from roof top to roof top during New Years, wearing nothing but boots, and destroying all the leftover Christmas decorations.
CROW: I like those dad jokes.
JOEL: They're kinda fun.
"I think you were right James", she smiled at him.
Jesse and James lovingly embraced each other again.
"I love you Jesse",
"I love you James...and I forgive you".
ANGIE: (sniff) I love you, Servo! (cries)
SERVO: I love you, too, Angie! (cries)
CROW: (crying) I just love the hell outta all of you!
JOEL: (sniff) Group hug!
(All gather to hug)
The End
--
Anni
**UK Rocketshipper**
**James/Kojiro fanatic;)**
ANGIE: And I love you fanfic, for ending! (hugs the movie screen)
(all exeunt)
~*~*~*~*~*~
While waiting for Dr. F and Frank to call, Joel and Servo sat together reading a News Week magazine, while Angie sat and stared at Joel. She wondered, if they weren't stuck on a satellite together, could this be considered stalking? Then she began to think of Bardok, and how he would totally murder Joel. That made it even more fun! And besides, how's Bardok gonna get to this E-D? She happened upon it by accident, guided by The Power That Be. And if that Monkey-man really did like her, then he would understand, a girl needs to have little fun! Especially when stuck in space. Boy, was her college GPA gonna suffer for this.
As her thoughts drifted off, she didn't notice a gold object sneak up on her. She certainly noticed the painful poke, however, as something sharp stuck her on the bottom. "HEY!!!" she shrieked as she leapt out of her seat, gripping her rear and hobbling as she balanced in her good foot. "What the hell?!" Crow, the sharp end of his head-net glinting. "You son of a bit---" she didn't finish because that's when she decided to kick the robot. "I told you that I was sorry for getting that fanfic sent up to us! Leave me alone, why don't you!?"
Recovering from the kick, he yelled back, "You're just so much fun to tease, especially while you're staring all *lovingly* at Joel!"
The R-D Earth girl immediately turned red in the face, and she spun around to face Joel, her heart in her throat from fright. But the man and the red robot just continued reading their magazine, unaware of the world going on around them. (And quite a world it is, too.) "You little--" Angie was about to spin back around and kick Crow once more when he decided to prod her rear with the sharp end again. "Eeeek!!!!" She jumped forward a few feet and toppled onto Joel and Servo.
Crow laughed as Angie pulled herself up off the red 'Bot, who's silver beak was jabbing into the knot of her back. Blushing, she removed herself from Joel's stomach, leaning on the counter for support.
"Heh, sorry, Joel," she murmured, sweat dropping and reaching for her crutches.
Joel and Servo picked themselves off from the ground, Servo shaking his head that had nearly been crushed by Angie. "You guys gotta cut this out!" he declared, a bit teed off.
Joel, with fists on his hips, nodded. "Yeah! Crow, Angie said she was sorry, accept it!"
"But one of my favorite movies was being shown on TV during that time, and it won't be shown for another year!" the golden 'Bot protested.
"Which movie?" Angie shrieked.
"Evil Dead II."
She fell to the ground from shock. Shaking from pure fury, she stood back up, picking the crutches off the ground. "Dammit, Crow, you could ask Dr. F to rent it for you! It's not that hard to find! Go to the local Suncoast store and they'll have it on sale! Hell, my cousin Jessica has a copy!"
"It's not the same!" Crow screamed back.
Sighing, Joel noticed the red button flashing. "Hush up, guys, the Mads are calling." He tapped it and Dr. F's face appeared on the screen.
Deep 13:
He smiled evilly, as he is wont to do, and said eagerly, "Am I safe to say that that last fanfic drove you insane?"
Satellite of Love:
"Uhm . . ." They all huddled together to discuss this. They broke apart and Joel answered, "No."
D13:
"What will it take to drive you insane?!"
SoL:
Angie shrugged. "I've read worse fanfics than James getting drunk off his butt. Even though it wasn't exceptional, such as, say, Rocket Princess, it wasn't TERRIBLE."
Crow shook his head. "I didn't like it at all."
Angie's face turned red again, "That's because I said that I liked it."
If Crow had a tongue, he would have stuck it out, but since he didn't, he just made a raspberry sound.
Servo pushed them out of the way and asked, "Will that be all, Dr. Forrester?"
D13:
Grumbling to himself, Dr. F shook his head. "No, Rob said that you got an e-mail. Frank, send them the e-mail."
From the dimensional computer counsel, TV's Frank nodded. "Yessir."
"And once they finish, push the button."
"Okey dokey odilly smokey."
SoL:
There was a flash and a piece of paper landed before all four of them. Crow and Angie, now split up, have stopped bickering. Joel picked it up and read it to the others.
>Subject: Re: Did you get the MSTing?
"I'd hafta say 'yes'," Crow answered. "Since we did riff it after all."
"No, you hafta pretend you are Jaimielée Rocket reading this," Angie told him.
"What do you know?"
"It's obviously for her, but it got good reviews so it is now sent to us."
"That made absolutely no sense."
"It's true, though."
>Date: Fri, 06 Aug 1999 17:51:o4 -0700
>From: icecube
"Hey!" Servo laughed. "It's from that 'Julivanni' gal!"
>At 10:13 AM 08/03/1999 -0600, you wrote:
>>Hi, uh, did you get my MSTing?
>Yes yes! I got it and read it. I'm just taking my last three tests in math 11 (summer school-oh, >joy) and I sorta needed to take a two week sabbatical from my computer. I LOVED the >MSTing, I was SO incredibly pleased about it I told all my friends! (Which means about three >people were confused that day.)
Joel smiled. "We are pleased that you are pleased."
"We aim to confuse and confound!" Crow added, saluting.
>I laughed and cried throughout the entire thing. The characters keep commenting on how good >the story was even though they were supposed to be slamming it.
"I thought we were," Servo said, confused.
"We were," Angie replied, patting him on the shoulder. "But we thought it was good. Well, decent, at least. I still remember the laser thing. Shudder!"
>^_^; Plus they think I'm British. I'm CANADIAN, for crying out loud!
"We're sorry," Joel responded, smiling again. "'Specially me! I didn't mean to yell at all those British spellings, but sometimes it gets on my nerves."
"Mine, too," Angie sighed, staring once more. Then she heard Crow giggle lewdly and she hemmed and tore her gaze away from the man and back to the e-mail.
>But that's okay. British people are kewl. I grew up watching reruns of Red Dwarf and Mr. >Bean and Black Adder and Faulty Towers so maybe I just talk like I'm British or something. I >actually live in Vancouver, B.C. though. O_o Oh well. ^_^ British! Whee! I can be Austin >Powersy now. (It's groovy, baby, YEAH! Freedom!)
"Don't remind me of that man!" Angie said, with a disgusted look on her face.
>> I didn't get a response and I need to know if I
>>can send it to JessieRocket or not. Or are you on vacation? ^_^
>No, no, just studying. (. . .) And trying to do math but it's hard because naughty thoughts about >James and Jessie keep on popping into my head.
"Ohhh . . ." Joel nodded. "I can see tha---"
"Huh?!" all four finished, bemused.
>Noooo. Graphs, not sex. Parabolas! Cubic root functions! Hyperbolas! Don't think about >sex! Cyclical chord-type things with tangents and angles that equal half of things and yes-Sex! I >mean math! : :whamwhamwham: :
"I never thought it could happen," Crow said, amazed, "but I think this gal just managed to make math DIRTY!"
>Braindemons. Rrg. Jeeez, sex death and incest and bulimia, I need to write fics for an older age >group. : :sigh: : Oh, you haven't seen my Jessie-goes-bulimic fic yet have you?
"Should I be reading this?" Servo chuckled nervously.
>Oh well it's not done yet. Yet another thing I must do.
>> It IS summer
>>after all! I'm just making sure if you got it or not and if I can send it in.
>Auughh it doesn't feel like summer, just like school only I get sweaty faster and have to change >my shirts more.
>As for the lateness of this reply, I'm so sorry, I thought I sent you a response after I read the >MSTing. I guess I didn't. O_o Oh well. So very, VERY sorry.
"Well, we thought you were mad at us," Angie said. "So we felt bad."
>I WILL finish the fic. After I try and pass this stupid math course. (I'm not even in grade 11, >I'm just taking this in advance to get it over with--aren't I a nut? Yes, I am a nut. With extra >salt.)
"Whoo-hoo!" Crow murmured. "I want to meet a-you, Miss icecube!"
>Your welcome, much obliged, thanks, and sorry!
>>--Verna (the ever-humbled) -_-
>>Daria: "Just because they're shallow doesn't mean they should be executed."
>Jane: "Yes it does."
>Daria: "Very well. I'm sold."
>>"I'm not, it's a man's dress."-David Bowie, 1971
"David Bowie's weird," Servo stated, shaking his head.
"Verna's cool!" Crow exclaimed. "I hope she e-mails 'Jaimielée' back soon about us and 'Jaimielée' forwards it to us!"
"I'm glad she's pursuing her dream of passing math," Joel said. "I always liked math.
"Uck!" Angie grumbled, gripping her head. "I preferred science."
"Both of you are weird!" the gold 'Bot commented. "I always preferred art."
"You never went to school!" Angie exclaimed, swinging her crutches in frustration.
"You've only been here for two weeks, what do you know?!" he shouted back, flinging his arms.
"C'mon guys," Servo said in a Irish priest voice. "Kiss and makeup, this has gone on too long."
"Yeah," Joel added. "Miss Verna was ready to forgive us for calling her British, can't you forgive each other for all those rude things."
Angie and Crow turned away from each other with a huff. Angie crossed her arms and said out the corner of her mouth, "I already said I was sorry for making Dr. F mad, but he won't forgive me. Then he pokes me in the butt!"
Growling, Crow said, "You kicked me!"
"That's because you POKED me!"
"Crow . . ." Joel and Servo both said with hint of death and pain in their voices directed at him.
He looked at his creator and his friend then at the girl, then back to the other two. Sighing, he turned his body all away around and held out a claw. "I'm sorry, Miss Angie, for being mean at you even though you didn't mean to bring about our torture."
With a considering glance up, as if asking God if she should do this, she turned to face him and took his claw in a shake. "Sure! In my family, you always be nice to strangers. It's good for business." Then, with a dark look on her face, she yanked Crow closer to her. She warned in a whisper, "But if you say anything to Joel or Servo about the staring *lovingly* thing, I will send my boyfriend to rip you limb from limb. Oh, and don't tell my boyfriend."
"Y-yes, ma'am," he answered, a bit shaken, because he remembered hearing about all of Bardok's physical attributes. Angie hobbled a couple of steps back and continued to shake his hand with a smile on her face.
Meanwhile, standing by them, both Joel and Servo looked quite satisfied and proud of themselves for solving this feud. "Okay, Frank!" Servo called. "You can push the button!"
Foosh!
______________________________________________________________________________
For some odd reason, I had trouble riffing this 'fic. I still can't figure out why. So I apologize for any lame riffs, but my brain always shut down when I came across this story. I liked the drunk dad ones though. Those were fun. I also like the side-stories more, maybe that's why, I focused more on the side-stories than the riffing. Oh, well. A little inside joke I figured the readers should know, the "Edit!" thing. I think I used that in Rocket Princess II when James and Serena went into Jessie's room and they merely shouted, "Jessie! Darien!" and everyone shouted "Edit!" Well, during one particularly boring lunch 1/2 hour, Maelstrom, Josh and Justin and I somehow got on a perverted running joke using the word "edit" like, "Luna! What are you doing to that lamp shade?!" "Edit!" Or more graphic ones like, "Ash and Misty are looking for Brock and they look in some bushes: 'James and Brock, no!'" "Edit!" So you see, the edit blocks out all the nasty stuff we COULD have said. So whenever someone just screams someone's name, I'm reminded of that fond, perverted joke, and I tell you what, four teens in Idaho can get pretty disgusting . . . Wait until I recount the "balls" joke during the Freshman pancake breakfast that Maelstrom was absent from, but with the combined mind power of me, Josh, Justin, AMBER AND DANIELLE (two of the biggest pervs I know) then you can guess what occurred while talking about Amber's "balls" that she wore around her neck. (Meaning those chain necklaces that are in the sizes of small or big spherical shape.)
Oh, and I just bought "The MST3K Amazing Colossal Episode Guide" and might I suggest it. Sure it was printed in 1996, before season seven, but it's hilarious and it shows some early pictures from the time at KTMA (aka "Season 0") Servo's name is Beeper ^_^ and he looks WEIRD. Gypsy looks REALLY scary, and Crow basically looked like Crow only thinner and buggier eyes. But, it's a good book, so get it! Go! Now! At Barnes & Noble! Go now! (I'm making up for my lame episode . . .)
Now for a couple of longish quotes. This is from one of Jamie Jeans' MSTings, one of the SM: American Kitsune series: An American named David is talking to Usagi about some salsa or another and makes a rather insensitive comment upsetting Servo:
DAVID: *That's* what the Elonga Gay dropped on Hiroshima!"
SERVO: Real good, David! Hey, you haven't insulted her about her heritage yet! Why don't you do that!!!!!!!
And this is from one of the episode reflections on the MST3K site on Scifi's site:
"I like this Robert Easton. I thought he was really good in Giant Spider Invasion. Even when the spider was stuffing him up his butt, he played the role convincingly." Paul Chaplin
______________________________________________________________________________
"Hey", Dan pondered, "if you two had a kid, what colour hair would the
poor thing end up with?"
"Dunno", James smiled, "What colour do pink and purple make anyway?"
"Uh...Pinkle?".
c 1999, Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom --(celebrating the fact I have finally memorized how to type in the "c" symbol!)
(Next "week's" episode-
Episode Nine- All That Matters
Kasey Remembers-- Unwillingly-- Lunatics: A Love Story")