"The Satellite of 'Dite,
the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"
By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom
EMAIL: jaimielee_rocket@hotmail.com
Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!
Smut: Uh~ debated
Violence: Hm~ debated
"Episode Twelve: Goodbye,
Kasey is About to Have a Nervous Meltdown,
And Cleo is Frightened by Kasey's Gash"
(I changed the title from what I originally had on episode 11 trailer)
Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. "Goodbye" is owned by [R]Jessie[R]. (Is that right? For some reason, most of my 'fic authors don't include their names on the fic . . . erg, I personally would like to put my name in every possible spot if it wouldn't screw up the 'fic. ^_^) Oh, and all the bad guys, Rob-tachi, sort of belong to me, the idea of them torturing us. But Professor Prime and so on ARE mine, so stay away!!!!! Rob, I suppose, would belong to himself, but that's confusing for me to figure out so let's just continue.
A Big Thanks: To [R]Jessie[R]! She sent me this 'fic without me asking for it! Thank you so very much. People, send more stuff! Frogwoman, where are you!!!! Chibichibi, I can't reach you! Augh! Head will explode . . .
Review Team For Today: Today it will be the ever-tortured Vegeta, Shampoo and Mousse again and, for variety, Naru-chan. Even though she is called "Naru-chan" she uses her dubbed voice, so she has that totally cool Brooklyn accent! (Good dubbing, no, cool sounding, YES!)
WARNING: Whoo, I thought this story would be a tear-jerker, the title being "Goodbye" . . . it WAS. And quite violent . . . very violent. One of the most violent TR 'fics I've read yet, (except for this one that I don't remember the title of, but it was scary . . . shudder). This thing almost made me faint when the violence came. It was outta the blue. So, if you have a weak heart like I do, DON'T read. (I have a fear of things popping out at me outta nowhere, and that's what this did.) Despite that, it is a decent story.
FANFIC FORMAT NOTES: If the person posting this MSTing forgot to follow my format instructions, the readers should know this: When I got the fanfic the format of it was in size FOURTEEN and in BOLD font! So it hurt to look at. When Vegeta-tachi go in to read it and it comes on, and they scream out in pain that the font's too big, but it looks normal to you, it's because it is in SIZE 14 and BOLD FONT to them! It's confusing, but I'd thought I'd keep it that way, for a cheap laugh.
~*~*~*~*~*~
One would figure that after discovering such a new and wonderful game to play would make everyone sane on a satellite that had been stuck in space. Most of the folks there had only been there for approximately a year and three months. Angie, who, as you all should know, was sucked through a portal and ended up on the old Satellite of Love with a mister Joel Robinson, Crow T. Robot, and Thomas Servo. She had been in space only for those three months, the lucky gal. Two people, a cat and two mythological monsters, however, had been living on the Satellite of 'Dite for 3,501 years and 3 months. One was now currently residing on the newer Satellite of Love with mister Michael J. Nelson, and those two robots previously mentioned. She left behind a miss Kasey, a kitty named Cleopatra Athena Minette, a baby harpy and a satyr.
So much for the useless backstory. After all this time, one would get bored. You see the same faces day after day, (even though the SoD had the population of a average Idahoan town, discounting the Aninites), doing the same activities day after day, and putting down the same rebellion by the same bad guys day after day. This used to be handled by three capable Captains, Jessica, Kasey and Cleo; Jessica and Kasey would handle the humans, and Cleo took care of the animal population, which mostly consisted of cute anime creatures, most of them the adorable little things called "Pokémon." But now with Jessica gone, and her cat being a big blubber-butt, Kasey had to handle the factions all by her lonesome self. She rarely got any help from someone else. Sure, if a rival of someone started acting up, that someone would try to help. If a few youma broke free of Curve C and led an attack on Room 7, the Sailor Senshi and other such Magical Girls would offer assistance, and Ash the Demon Hunter always offered to cut up Deadites.
But who was the one always disconnecting Dr. Evil's control panel to make sure he doesn't send anyone into the incinerator? Not Austin Powers, he was always busy flirting with the girls, (he had taken quite a liking to Bulma), plus, if he tried to disconnect it, he probably would have blown up the satellite. Who was the one always solving arguments between the Charizards? No, not Ash, but Kasey. (She thought him a dumbass anyway, and she figured she could control Ash's Charizard better than he.) Who always cleaned Room 7 with nary a help? Kasey. Who cooked all the food? Well, that was Satyr, but Kasey often served it. Who had to stop B-ko from stomping A-ko? Kasey, and she did that by getting stomped on herself.
Kasey was slowly, but surely, going insane.
On this particular day, it had been nearly four weeks since they last heard from Robert Tapert, his Persian, and the totally adorable Professor Prime. This was odd, for he usually got back to the SoD after two weeks of taking care of his other duties with Angie and Jessica in the other dimensions. Everyone feared he might have been dead, for his ship had been attacked by an angry Gyarados the last time they heard from him, and his ship had sank. The crew of the SoD did best they could not to mourn; not for Rob, mind you, but because if he was dead, there was no way they all could get back to THEIR dimensions. Sure, they might be able to gain control of the satellite and drive to a planet, but it wouldn't be THEIR planet, and they may be able to enter a wormhole, but there was no telling where it would take them.
On the Captain's counter, eight people sat and played a board game. They would have been playing Fast Throw, but after a three week championship of that game, (Jessie's team won, natch), it became a little tiring, so everyone found something new to do. Jessie-- with Brock, Cleo and Shampoo at her side-- and James-- with Mousse, Vegeta, and a new friend of James', Osaka Naru-- all sat around a game of Monopoly. It wasn't very competitive, and it was kind of boring, plus, nearly everyone there could barely do math and they didn't understand the concept of the houses and the hotels.
Cleo, who wasn't crying, and neither was James, for they had tired of that as well, watched as Jessie rolled the dice for her. Purring in satisfaction, she moved her top hat ten spaces and landed on Free Parking. James whimpered, and shoved her all the money in the center.
"That's so unfair," he cried as he shook the dice in his hands. Pouting, he tossed them and got a two. He moved his Scottie dog and landed on St. James Avenue. "Ah!" he exclaimed. "This is my square, I don't hafta lose any money."
As he beamed, Mousse rolled an eight. He moved and landed on Broadway. His face fell as Shampoo began to laugh cruelly. Not only was it the most expensive square, but Shampoo owned it, and she had two hotels and a house on it. She pulled out a notepad and a pen and muttered, "Mousse land on Broadway, Shampoo's square, it cost THIS much . . . two hotel, house." She paused and stuck her tongue out in thought. "Carry one," she stopped and scratched her head with the eraser of her pencil. "Carry two, too . . . three . . ." Finally, she just gave up and said, "Mousse owe Shampoo 15,000!"
"Dollars?" he asked glumly.
"Yes, dollar!" She held out her hand and wriggled her fingers, as if telling him to hurry.
He silently counted out that amount and passed it over to her. He grabbed his head and whispered, "SOMEbody land on one of my squares!" He was down to a thousand dollars, and with the way no one knew how to add, he was in danger.
As Naru-chan was about to roll, there was a very large explosion, rocking the satellite slightly. As they straightened the hotels and the cards, a door leading into Room 7 opened and in stumbled Kasey. She was a bit blackened, a strand of hair was on fire, a gash on her left arm, and there was a whip around her neck.
She shoved through the throngs of surprised characters, hurting her hand as she tried to shove Bender, the robot, out of her way, and she collapsed in the armchair that was behind the Monopoly players.
The eight people were silent for a moment, then Naru-chan, in her Brooklyn dubbed accent, (the Captains loved that voice and personally asked her to use it around them), inquired, "Hey, Miss Kasey? You want to play 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'"
"Monopoly," Brock corrected.
"Oh." She blinked and scratched her cheek. "What was I thinking?"
Kasey swiveled the chair so she could stare at them. Her green eyes were wide and unfocused, and one of her eyebrows twitched. "P-play?"
They all nodded with a "meow" from Cleo.
"You expect me to play NOW?"
They all nodded again, with another "meow".
She pulled herself off of the chair and she stood next to James, who edged away a little. She smiled, but it was an insane smirk, frightening everyone. "But why should I play Monopoly? I'm having so much FUN already!" A strange chuckle overcame her.
James glanced at Jessie, then back at the other redhead. "Uh, Cap'n, you all right?"
She began to laugh nonchalantly. "Of course I'm all right!" She shrugged and cocked her blackened head. "I mean, I'm having a BLAST! Literally! I was just blown up trying to stop a fight between a couple of Tenchi's girlfriends! Grand fun! But before that, I was trying to get Robert and François, the Sandshrew and Sandslash, right?" Everyone nodded and a "meow". "Well, they were having a fight over territory in the garden . . . I had to stop it since a certain cat was playing a nice li'l game, and I got SLASHED!" She held up her arm and thrust the jagged scratch in Cleo's face. The cat blanched and scampered off the counter and cowered behind Jessie's legs. "Oh, and by the way James," she leaned on him and smiled up into his face. "Jezebel's lookin' for ya." Kasey tore the whip off from around her neck and thrust it into his hands. "Be a dear and return this to her, please?" She shoved him into the crowd of people nearby. "Thank you!"
There was a familiar reprimand of not doing something properly, and James burst out of the characters, screaming, "GROWLYYYYYY!!!" Chasing after him was the insane finacée and her Vileplume. Jessie shot Kasey a nasty glance, and ran after Jezebel, removing her Arbok's ball, preparing to save her friend. Cleo, scared half to death now by Kasey's cut, darted after the ponytailed girl.
Those who were left, Vegeta, Shampoo, Mousse, Naru-chan and Brock began to edge away, and as they were about to turn around and run away from the Captain's insane glare, a familiar sound began, and an equally as familiar flashing of lights started up. Kasey gasped and clutched her hair, one of her fists putting out the small fire on the side of her head, supposedly from that blast, (or maybe she was playing with matches again). She fell back into the chair, crying and sobbing. "No! No! Not fanfic sign! I can't read another! Not now-ow-ow-ow!"
The five humans glanced at each other in pity for this poor Captain, and they sighed and lowered their heads. "Shampoo will go," the Chinese amazon volunteered. "It make Captain feel good?"
"I'll go, too!" Mousse offered courageously.
Shampoo sighed and said sarcastically, "How brave of Mousse."
He smiled at her, placing his glasses on his face. "Thank you, my dear!"
"Supossin' I hafta go, too," Vegeta muttered grumpily while crossing his arms. "I've been in every single one, why stop now? Besides, I have a feeling I might actually like this 'fic."
"But who else should go?" Mousse wondered aloud.
They glanced at Kasey, who was soaking the arm of the chair with her tears. "I don't think she can make it," Vegeta answered. "I don't want her to snap half way through and then try to strangle me."
Naru-chan stepped forward boldly. "I'll go in her place!"
Kasey lifted her face up and everyone, including Brock, gaped at her in amazement. "You'd really go in for me?" the redhead sniffled.
Naru-chan nodded. "Sure. How bad can it be? The ones you've read so far all sounded interesting." She winked. "Maybe I'll be in it!"
"I hope not," Vegeta replied, "then it'll be a chick 'fic."
Shampoo took hold of the Saiyjin's arm and tugged him along, Mousse walking ahead of her. "Come, monkey-man, we must go in before theater hall sucked of air."
"Hurry, Naru-chan!" he called back.
She nodded and whispered to Brock as Kasey now cried tears of pride, "Get Etoh, she needs help, NOW."
He nodded. "Right. Good luck!" He turned as she turned, and he ran into the crowd of bemused characters, asking where Etoh was.
Naru-chan entered the theater entrance. As Camharpy saw this, she flew to her entrance and began to setup the disk that had been sent without any warning.
~*~*~*~*~*~
(all enter, Vegeta takes the fourth seat out, Mousse next to him, Shampoo by him, and Naru-chan in the first seat.)
MOUSSE: Too bad Rob wasn't here to tell us what this is.
VEGETA: I hope it's something good!
SHAMPOO: What monkey-men like to read?
VEGETA: Dunno, just as long as it's not sappy.
NARU: Hey, guys. (holds up a sheet of paper) Camharpy just handed me this. It says: "The fanfic title is 'Goodbye' by [R]Jessie[R]."
MOUSSE: Is that all?
NARU: That's all it says. (crumples paper and throws it aside)
VEGETA: That sounds sappy. (sighs and sinks in chair) If it gets mushy, I'm taking a nap, 'kay?
>Part 1-
NARU: Jeez, that font's BIG!
VEGETA: (sits up in seat) [R]Jessie[R] wants to make sure that we read it, every single bit of it.
ALL: (rub eyes)
>The Dare
ALL: (sing dramatically) Dare to run, dare to fall, dare to fly, dare to . . . DREEEEAAAM . . .
>Jessie, James, and Meowth
>>Team Rocket ere walking
MOUSSE: Hey! Someone wrote a Team Rocket poem.
SHAMPOO: (reciting) Team Rocket ere walking, Jabberwocky must they defeat.
VEGETA: Death by snigger-snag!
NARU: I have always wondered what that looks like.
>along looking for Ash, Misty, and Brock… as they always do.
MOUSSE: They led a boring life, and nobody liked them.
>It was a beautiful day and the sun was just beginning to set over the tranquil >forest. James slowly turned to Jessie;
SHAMPOO: (James) Slooooowww daaaayyy, huh?
>"We should be reaching Celadon by morning." Jessie growled under her >breath," Oh great. Now we get another chance to get our asses kicked >AGAIN!"
VEGETA: Oooo, sounds promising thus far.
NARU: You never know, some "chick 'fics" swear, as well.
VEGETA: Damn, don't tell me THAT!
SHAMPOO: Remember Rocket Princess III?
MOUSSE: Ah, yes, that "I'm ####ing furious!" thing.
>James frowned at Jessie,"Oh Jess.can't you at least TRY to be positive?" She >smiled sarcasticaly,"No. Because everytime we try to do something it blows >up in our face and we end up getting hurt".
VEGETA: (Jessie) I'm positive we're gonna get our asses kicked.
>James smiled,"Im sure our plans will work this time".
NARU: (James) This time we're using . . .
ALL: (James) . . . A HOLE!
>Jessie spoke in a serious tone,"You say that everytime but one off these times >I'm going to REALLY get hurt and then you will regret it".
MOUSSE: (Jessie) One day I'm going to fall down a cliff, and my immunity to injuries will fail!
>James just smiled and grabbed Jessie by the arm," Come on Jess". They >walked side by side as James glances at Jessie thinking. James secretly loved >Jessie.Yet oddly feared her. Jessie always hit him or yelled at him so it was a >very mixed and confusing feeling for him.
SHAMPOO: It called puberty, and it HARD.
VEGETA: That would explain his squeaky voice.
>He pondered and pondered
NARU: (James as Winnie the Pooh) Think . . . Think . . . Think . . .
>how to tell Jessie how he felt. He knew which words to say but everytime he >saw her, he choked and forgot the words completely.
MOUSSE: I would be afraid to tell her I loved her, too. She's a VERY violent woman.
SHAMPOO: James tell her he love her, he get whap in head for being fresh.
VEGETA: I'd hate to be the one to see her in the morning.
>Jessie walked next to him silently looking at him.
NARU: (Jessie) James, stop staring at me that way, James.
>She too loved James but everytime she looked into his beautiful blue eyes
MOUSSE: I thought they were green.
SHAMPOO: Color change with mood.
VEGETA: Mood eyes!
NARU: Blue means he's happy or in love.
>every thought that crossed her mind totally disappeared. She looked back at >James and caught him looking at her," What are you looking at?" James >smiled,"You.I mean…who COULDN'T look at you!" She blushed at him >slightly," James you are too soft. Why don't you try to be evil for once? BE >MEAN! BE RUTHLESS! HURT SOMEONE!"James whined,"I could be >evil if I wanted to!" Jessie fell over laughing," YOU…. EVIL!Yea right, >PROVE IT!"
MOUSSE: So, James gropes Jessie, pulls out her hidden weapons, smacks her with her own fan, smashes her with her own mallet, and then blows her to smithereens with her bazooka.
>He tilted his head," How should I do that?" She put her hand on her chin and >thought," I KNOW! We are running low on cash so I dare you to go
SHAMPOO: (Jessie) . . . buy lotto ticket!
VEGETA: (James) How's that evil?
SHAMPOO: (Jessie) We seventeen! We too young to gamble!
VEGETA: (James) Oh!
BOTH: (Jessie & James, they laugh evilly)
>rob a bank and get us more. BUT PLEASE TRY TO BE EVIL!" James >Laughed," OK. Jessie,"He gritted his teeth slightly," First thing tommorow, I >will go to the bank. OK?". Jessie nodded still doubting that he could do it >with out messing up. The 3 finally came to a small cottage with a ledge near >by. The sat on the ledge and watched as the sun set. The sky was a beautiful >array of colors.
NARU: God hangs his tie-dye shirt out to dry.
>Like some one had spilt buckets of paint in the clouds.
MOUSSE: (James) I wonder what evil person decided to paint the sky?
VEGETA: (Jessie) James, you're kind of an idiot, aren't you?
>Jessie turned to James,"Let get home". James smiles gently,"Ok". He stood >up and began to walk to the log cabin followed by Meowth.
ALL: Poof!
SHAMPOO: Meowth know teleportation?
NARU: Sure, why not? It's a fanfic, he can do as he darn well pleases.
>Jessie didn't follow she turned back to the sunset and looked at it in a weird >sense.
MOUSSE: (Jessie) The sun's kinda . . . YELLOW, isn't it?
VEGETA: (Jessie) Why are there funny little spots in my vision?
>It was so beautiful. She was suddenly over comed by a weird feeling that as >she watched the final sun ray fade into the night. It was the feeling that the >sunset she just witnessed was her last.
ALL: FORESHADOW ALERT!
NARU: Well, subtle this is not.
SHAMPOO: (in a British-like accent) As sun goes down, Teletubbies say goodbye.
>>>>Part 2- Cabin Night
> James opened the door as Meowth followed in with a few longs in >his hand.
ALL: Yech!
MOUSSE: Meowth! Not in the cabin!
VEGETA: Where'd he get all THOSE?
>Meowth went to the fireplace to work on building a fire while James went to >the kitchen and set to making dinner. Jessie sat out side on a rock looking at >the moon.
NARU: (Jessie, dumb) The moon is kinda like the sun . . . only white and not as bright.
SHAMPOO: Jessie turning to a damn ware-wilf!
>She heard sounds of Meowth and James in the house but still, she could not >rip her eyed from the glowing full moon. She heard the oak door slowly open >as James spoke to hurt in a gentle voice, "Jessie, Dinner's ready.
MOUSSE: That was a very painful thing for him to say, that's why it hurt.
>Come on in. I can't have you getting sick on me." Jessie stood and walked in >side glancing at the moon on more time.
VEGETA: (Jessie, like Bo-ron/Mo-ron) Duh, universe . . . BIIIIG.
>The 3 sat down at kitchen table and happily ate the wonderful meal that >James had cooked.
NARU: (Jessie) This is good! What is it?
SHAMPOO: (James) Fried Togepi.
MOUSSE: (Meowth) NOOOOOOOOO!
>Hey finished thanking James and retired to bed after dinner. Meowth curled >up in a ball in front of the fire. Jessie and James quietly walked down the >hall, Mondo did a wonderful job of setting this place up for us." Jessie said >admiring the cabin. James nodded and agreed with her.
VEGETA: But silently James cursed Mondo, and wished he would die a horrible death.
>Hey reached the bedroom and Jessie got her nightgown," James needs to >change.
NARU: (James) Thanks for offering, Jessie, but I can change myself.
>Would you please close your eyes?" James smirked,"What if I don't want >to?"Jessie shrugged,"Fine then, have it your way".
SHAMPOO: (Jessie) James only be blinded from beauty.
>She began taking off her shirt,
MOUSSE: Well, hey, this is entertaining, isn't it, Vegeta?
VEGETA: Sure is!
>James's eyes widened as he dove under a pillow hiding his eyes,"GOD NO! >ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Jessie smiled and quickly got dressed.
NARU: Then she kicked his butt for making such a rude comment about her.
>James did the same and the two wens to bed.
SHAMPOO: For goodness sake, when Mondo find cabin he forget to get one with bathroom?
>Jessie went to sleep quickly but James just sat up silently threw the night >watching her sleep.
MOUSSE: James was so jealous of the night for watching his Jessie that he threw it against the wall in terrible rage.
>"So peaceful", he thought as he quietly stroked her hair and smiled as a tear >dripped from his cheek.
VEGETA: He's crying because he knows that when she awakens, she'll be in an incredibly bitchy mood and take it out on him.
>>>>Part 3-Goodbye
NARU: After a painful pause, we say "Goodbye" . . .
ALL: (sing) We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when! But we'll meet again some bright and sunny day!
MOUSSE: (sobs) Crud!
> The next day the 3 awoke and quickly got dressed. James grabbed his >rifle
VEGETA: (James) I feel like Meowth hunting today.
>and walked out the door. Jessie walked behind him with Meowth,"James, you >don't have to rob the bank." James stopped and looked down at Jessie,"No >way. I'm going to prove to you that I'm not a wuss, So sit back and relax >Jess." The reached the bank and James busted threw the door."
SHAMPOO: Incredible James! He can pull door off hinge and throw it!
>GIVE ME THE MONEY AND NO ONE GETS HURT! NOW!" Jessie >quietly snickered at James's valiant effort. The clerk at the bank shook in >fear,"OH GOD ITS TEAM ROCKET!
NARU: Huh, the clerk must be Ash Ketchum.
>PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" James smiled,"Put the money and the back >and maybe I wont kill you."The clerk nodded and ran to the back putting >tons of money in the bag. While doing so she secretly pressed a button >notifying the police. (Whose station was NEXT DOOR!).
ALL: Wawawado~ing~
>She slowly walked up to the counter and handed James the bag. Suddenly >police busted in and bullets flew everywhere.
MOUSSE: Elliot Ness and the Untouchables screw up big time.
>Meowth was hit in the head and fell to the ground lifeless.
ALL: Oh my GOD! Oh! Ahhhh! M-chan! Oh!
SHAMPOO: But he just THERE! They no know he Team Rocket member!
NARU: (sobbing) C'mon, Naru, you volunteered to do this and you WILL make it through! You WILL!
VEGETA: You're so brave, but it's all for naught.
NARU: (sobs louder)
MOUSSE: Is THIS death by snigger-snag?
VEGETA: If it is, I feel sorry for that Jabberwocky!
GIRLS: SOOOOOOOOB!
>Lightning crashed outside and it began to rain adding to the chaos. James >grabbed Jessie by the arm and pulled her out side into the rain.
NARU: (sniffling) They left Meowth's body behind?
MOUSSE: I don't think the author likes Meowth that much.
>As the two fled from the pursuing cops,
VEGETA: (narrator) Tonight, on Cops. Two Team Rocket members think they are above the law, but the cops are there to anchor them to the ground. Tonight, on Cops.
>James tripped in the mud.
SHAMPOO: (James) Mud grab me outta nowhere!
>A cop standing 20 feet away jumped on the opportunity and raised his gun >aiming for James's head.
NARU: I don't know much about the police force, but aren't cops only supposed to shoot when they are being shot AT?
MOUSSE: Well, also when the criminal is running away.
NARU: But, still, isn't that in the LEG and not the head?
VEGETA: Maybe this copper failed anatomy class.
>James looked at the nose of the gun and closed his eyes, praying. The gun >fired 3 times…James looked up to see Jesse jump in the way
SHAMPOO: Not HIS Jessie, but A Jesse.
>of the bullets,"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"James >screamed in horror to see Jesse hit in the neck once and in the chest 2 times >as blood gushed from her body,
ALL: Oh my God!
NARU: (retches)
SHAMPOO: So terrible! (sob)
VEGETA: Well, it's what I wanted, but now I feel kinda guilty.
MOUSSE: I don't think I should have had that Cup O' Noodles beforehand . . .
>James jumped up and quickly shot the heads off the cops with his rifle.
NARU: (weakly) Only Team Rocket members have the automatic hunting rifles.
SHAMPOO: (James as Flanders) There Homer! There Homer! There Homer! Bwahahahaha!
>He threw the gun down and fell on his knees next to Jessie,"Jessie? Jessie? >Are you alright…
VEGETA: She's just peachy . . . DO YOU THINK SHE'S ALL RIGHT?!
>SPEAK TO ME!" He cried as the water beneath her turned red and formed >a puddle of blood beneath her. She weakly looked up at James and put her >finger to his mouth hushing him,"Quiet James."
MOUSSE: She's actually TALKING?!
>she spoke so softly as her breathing became shallow. Tears streamed down >James's face as he looked upon his dying companion and true >love,"Jesse…I'm sorry I never told you but…
NARU: (James) I . . . am going to take all your money once you die and move to Apoluco. Bye!
SHAMPOO: So dark!
NARU: I plan to get through this fanfic as calmly as possible, even if it means I have to be dark!
>I love you." Jessie lifted her bloody hand and rubbed James's cheek,"I >know…I have always known."
VEGETA: Dumbass, it's kinda late now.
SHAMPOO: How mean!
VEGETA: My reply is the same as Naru-chan's.
SHAMPOO: Only you naturally mean.
VEGETA: Wha-- HEY!
>James grabbed Jessie's hand as she squeezed it gently. Jessie looked up at >James one last time,"And I will always love you…James."Her voice trailed >off as she closed her eyes and her body went limp.
MOUSSE: James decided to narrate at this point. Let's see what he has to say . . .
>James looked down crying," Jessie? Jessie? Nnnnnnnnoooooooo! Jessie YOU >CAN'T LEAVE ME!"
NARU: (James) We still have to steal that darn Pikachu!
SHAMPOO: Oooo, Giovanni not gonna approve of this!
VEGETA: So much for Meowth's dreams of being Top Cat.
MOUSSE: Be positive, maybe in Heaven he IS the Top Cat.
NARU: Sigh~ That's a nice thought. (she pauses) But I'm still going to throw up.
ALL: (they agree with her)
>James picked her up crying and disappeared into the shrouded mist of the >one rainy day.
>>>Part 4- The After Math
SHAMPOO: No one tell Shampoo there be math!
NARU: Augh! Never mention math or school to me ever again.
MOUSSE: Maybe we'll get some decent math lessons so we can all at least ADD properly and be able to play a decent game of "Monopoly."
VEGETA: No, first we hafta understand the whole CONCEPT of the game, then learn math.
>((3 months later))
NARU: Time sure flies by when reading a bloody fanfic.
> James sat in the log cabin alone with a gun in his hand, staring at the >fire. Memories of Jessie ad Meowth filled his head," Jessie," he whispered," I >cant do this without you.I cant live."
SHAMPOO: And what Meowth? Chop liver?
VEGETA: Basically.
MOUSSE: Oooh! That hurts.
>James looked up remembering their last sunset together as a tear rolled down >his cheek. James quietly put the gun to his head and took out a picture of him, >Jessie, and Meowth,"Goodbye," he mumbled.
ALL: Ah-ha! The title! Ahhh~ (sob)
>A single shot rang out threw the woods, piercing the silence with a scream, as >the bloody picture once in James's hand, fell to the ground…
ALL: Ahhhhhh!!!!
NARU: James, no!
VEGETA: Now I know why the author wanted to make sure we read every single bit of this. . . . to drive us insane!
SHAMPOO: Shampoo try be strong, try hard! But Shampoo think Shampoo traumatized.
MOUSSE: Are you HAPPY Vegeta? You probably brought this upon us!
VEGETA: (tries not to cry) I feel guilty enough. I killed Team Rocket! (runs out of the theater holding back sobs)
NARU: (sniffling) Oh-ho, think he'll start blowing things up again?
SHAMPOO: (sniffling) We better go get him.
(all exuent)
~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, the good news was that Etoh had taken proper care of Captain Kasey, so she wasn't insane anymore, and Cleo would finally approach her. Team Rocket still wouldn't speak with her, however, but you wouldn't either if she had notified your whereabouts to a gal like Jezebel.
The other good news was that Vegeta didn't start blowing things up.
But the bad news was that he was holding a funeral.
The crew of the SoD had to gather in Room 7 and gather around the fighting ring, (which Vegeta had transformed into a podium for the time being), and watch as the Saiyjin stepped solemnly into the center of it. There were three coffins in the center, two of them large enough for a tall human, and one about two feet long. The man wore a nice suit instead of his usual blue bodysuit with the jeans, and his hair was nicely combed, (as nicely combed as it could be in his case).
He noticed that one person was missing, but he didn't think it all that important, for it was Kasey, and she was laying on the review couch, out like a light with much deserved sleep. Vegeta approached the edge of the podium/fighting ring, his head bowed and hands pressed together. He stood for a minute while everyone else stood, shuffling their feet and muttering in boredom. Funerals were such terribly tedious things! Finally, he rose his head up and gestured to the three coffins. "What can one say about three dear people like Jessie, James and Meowth?"
Ash Ketchum almost shouted a reply, but Misty firmly clapped a hand over his mouth as Brock punched him hard on the arm.
"It's true, I wanted to read a fanfic that wasn't a chick 'fic, or completely weird like the last one I read, I wanted something bloody. Something worthy of a Saiyjin viewing! And I got it, at a terrible price. I killed Team Rocket!"
When he shouted this, everyone began to murmur again. "I haven't seen them since the Monopoly game, it's true!" Naru-chan whispered to Usagi, who gave a small gasp.
"They weren't here while they were in the theater!" Belldandy said softly, worry in her voice.
"They weren't at the karoke bar!" Cassidy shouted.
"Or at the noodle stand!" Satyr declared.
Soon, Room 7 was abuzz with concerned whispers, for no one had seen Team Rocket since Monopoly. Maybe the fanfic really did bring about the death of Team Rocket! And if it did, then Vegeta very well could have killed them with his wistful hoping. The sensitive people began to cry, while others bowed their heads in mourning. (All except those that hated Jessie, James and Meowth, of course, but that's a different matter.)
When the noise settled a little, Vegeta resumed his eulogy. "Sure they were annoying sometimes, and they bothered some what with their Pokémon stealing. And sure they blew up things, and broke things with mecha that they didn't know how to control, but still. They were honest thieves, and they still felt pain! You pricked them and they still bled! But since I wished for a violent 'fic, they suffered for it and--"
But he was interrupted as one of the coffins' lids were opening and as everyone gasped in terror. Vegeta turned and looked and his heart nearly stopped as he saw James rise from the coffin and ask loudly, "Is Jezebel gone?!"
The other large casket opened and Jessie sat up. "Gawd, it smells in there," she sneezed.
And the smaller one opened and Meowth stretched and yawned. "Well, that was a nice nap!"
There was pure silence in the room as everyone stared at the three with abject terror. They stared back. Jessie pulled out her compact and opened it to look into the mirror. "What, is my make-up messed up? Is my ponytail messy? What!"
The crew all began to whimper, but soon the whimpers turned into shrieks of panic, and everyone trampled each other to run away from these undead. Vegeta, shocked, backed off the podium/fighting ring and fell to the ground, and the ominous sound of a chainsaw began.
Team Rocket leapt out of their coffins and they all sweat dropped. James scratched his head as he watched everyone dash out of Room 7, and he stated, "We screwed up again, didn't we?"
He was answered by Ash the Demon Hunter, leaping onto the ring, bearing his chainsaw high. He shouted something unintelligible, but Team Rocket could tell that they were in for a lot of pain.
As this pandemonium raged on, the horrified Members running from the crazed Deadite killer, Kasey slept on the couch. But she was awakened, however, by Camharpy, who landed on her face and dug her claws in to wake her up. Shooing the bothersome monster with the camera off, Kasey sat up and looked about. No one was there but Jessie, James and Meowth, who seemed to be playing a game of hide and seek with Ash. And Vegeta, who appeared to be asleep by the fighting ring.
She then realized why Camharpy had awakened her. The Comm Port was ringing. Sighing, Kasey stood and reached up for the button turning it on. Sitting back down and laying against a pillow, she closed her eyes and drowsily asked, "Moshi moshi?"
"Kasey? Kasey, is that you?"
Her eyes opened, the voice was familiar, but it had a touch of fear in it. "Mister Tapert?" she inquired. "You're alive!"
The TV producer certainly was alive, but he sat in the middle of a forest, bedraggled and holding a bunch of machines. "Kasey!" he exclaimed. "Great! Hahahahaha!" He laughed insanely. "I finally got this thing working again! Now I can know if the fanfic reading went well! Did it?"
She cocked her head thought this over. "I dunno."
"What do you mean, 'I dunno'!"
She shrugged. "I had a nervous breakdown, so Naru-chan went in my place." She glanced around. "You could ask her, but she seems to be absent." She added behind her hand, "I think everyone's playing a game of hide and seek, and Ash is it." She pointed toward a food stand. "I think Jessie and James are hiding behind there."
There was a loud, "Ah-hah!" and Ash dashed past, revving his chainsaw. There was a loud shriek, and the Team Rocket Members began their frantic run again.
"So," Kasey began, rubbing her eyes, "how'd you survive the Gyarados?"
"It wasn't that easy!" Rob said. "Prime was no help, and Persian can't stand getting his fur wet! We nearly drowned, but if it weren't for that Goldeen using her horn attack on me, I would have."
"That's . . . inspiring, sir."
"But now," he whispered hoarsely, "now I'm in this forest! I'm looking for Persian and Prime, and I couldn't get the Comm Port on the laptop to work! Just now I was able to, because a wild Pikachu had electrocuted me. That surge was just what I needed to start this thing up again. But after all this time, I can't find those imbeciles, and I haven't found any sign of civilization! And I swear," he lowered his voice. "I swear I've passed through here before, yet I possibly couldn't have! But I swear, when I wake up in the morning, I find myself in the same spot as before!"
Kasey whistled at his insanity, and she replied sarcastically, "Maybe the day is repeating, sir. Like 'Been there, Done That'."
Rob was about to reprimand her, but then he paused, and replied. "Just maybe it is! That makes PERFECT sense!" Kasey groaned and covered her eyes in shame. "By Zeus!" he exclaimed, "I'm trapped in my own plot device! Arrrrrrgh!!!" He then began to sob into one of his machines.
Kasey removed her hand from her face and stared at him again. She slowly stood to her feet and reached for the button to cancel the communication link. "Yessir, that is certainly an inspiring story. Well, it was nice talking to ya. Bye!"
And with that, she pressed the button.
The End
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First of all, I'd like to apologize for my inconstancy of incidents. I just realized that Rob crashed in episode nine, yet he was still able to communicate quite easily with Pearl and Dr. F and send them fanfics with no trouble in episodes 10 and 11. If you didn't notice it, then think about it now. My explanation is this: I wrote episode 10 before I even finished eight and nine because it was such a funny fanfic and I couldn't wait to finish riffing it. So, that's that, which was dumb of me, that's why from now on I do my episodes in chronological order so as not to screw up like that again. Then, when I was writing episode 11, I had that misunderstanding with God over episode 9, or maybe it was Death and Binky that was messing up that file, but either way, I didn't finish episode 9 before 11, so, there's my excuse. I was sick of episode 9 that I didn't even think about continuity. Ah, how nice.
I spelled "Elliot Ness" correctly, right? I hope so. >.<
Wasn't that a lovely 'fic? Nearly made you sick? If not, you must be used to that. But, geez, when Meowth's bloody body fell to the ground, I nearly burst out crying. Besides, I like Meowth. ^_^ I hope Naru-chan was a fun reviewer, I really like Naru-chan and Umino, (they're the only reason I watch some SM episodes now ^_^), and me 'n' Maelstrom believe they should have their own spin off series. (Along with Carl!) Here's some SoD trivia for you: Umino and Dr. Evil share a room because they both wanted that particular room, but neither would give it up for the other. So they simply share it. Great fun.
I present to you the most scariest story EVER told, as told by Carl:
"Little Jimmy Simpkins logged onto his computer one night only to encounter a discontinued server icon. And what he saw when he looked up filled him with shock and terror. For his hardrive had been . . . completely ERASED."
Isn't that just the most frightening thing you ever heard?
JOHNNY: I don't know what he said, but it was the way he told it.
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While doing so she secretly pressed a button notifying the police. (Whose station was NEXT DOOR!).
© 1999, Jaimielée Rocket & Maelstrom
(Next "Week's" Episode:
"Episode Thirteen: Team Rocket Blast Off to America: Part1-A Not So Great Plan,
Jessica Sends a Note to Kasey and Loses her Glasses")