"The Satellite of 'Dite,
the Fanfic of Riffing of Other Fanfics"
By: Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom
EMAIL: jaimielee_rocket@hotmail.com
Disclaimer I: To whom this concerns, it belongs to you!
Smut: Uh~ debated
Violence: Hm~ debated
"Episode Fourteen: What it takes,
Angie is Blue"
Disclaimer II: Jessica and Cleo belong to me, Kasey belongs to Maelstrom and Angie belongs to She-wolf or Bardokmegami. Joel and the 'bots would go under Disclaimer number one along with Dr. F and TV's Frank. "What it takes" belongs to Hitmonchan.
A Big Thanks: To Hitmonchan! She responded to my desperate ad on CTR's bulletin board, or I think she did. Either way, she sent it to me and I now love her to death. Go see her webpage . . . er, I don't have the address as of yet, but I'll list it somewhere sometime if I still have it.
Realization: I've read some of this fic before! Not all of it, but some! It explains Jessie and James training in a believable way, so kudos to you, Hitmonchan!
NOTES: It was originally 25 pages long, so I split it. I'm sorry for that, Hitmonchan, but 1) I want to get three more MSTings done before the New Year's if I can and I want to get this done quickly, and I didn't want it to be over 100 pages like Rocket Princess I, (which was only 21pages long originally).
But I don't think I'm gonna make my goal of three more MSTings . . . . Maybe I'll get Nightbird finished . . . If I get Nightbird done, and counting others that I've done on request, in 7 months I've done 2.86 MSTings per month! Wow! That's a lot. (I have a sad sad life!)
~*~*~*~*~*~
Angie, Joel and Servo were present on the bridge of the Satellite of Love, Joel in the center, Angie on his right and Servo far to his left. The red 'Bot sat behind a black music sheet stand. Angie smiled and pointed up a finger to state proudly to the Mads . . .
"Today's invention is based on that new song 'Blue,' by Eiffel 65 . . . or whatever."
That's right, they began without us.
"So," Joel continued, "we are going to test this out, see if it can be used to make the world a better place." Angie walked away and the Gizmonic janitor gestured to Servo. "Take it away."
Servo hemmed and said in a dullish voice, "And I quote: 'I'm blue, dadididymedadi . . .' and so on . . . 'I have a blue house with a blue window. Blue is the color of my . . .' something indistinguishable . . . 'Blue are the streets, the trees are blue, I have a girlfriend, and she is so blue.' "
"Thank you, Mister Servo. Now, this can easily be done, if you have the right camera filter. Okay, Cambot?" The image of Joel, the satellite, and the departing Servo turns blue. "Imagine, EVERYthing blue! There could be no hate crimes against the color of your skin."
Suddenly, Angie dashed back onto the bridge holding a long knife. She wore a ratty leather jacket and she had a knit stocking cap pulled tightly down on her head. She stopped in front of Joel and pressed the blade against his throat. "Are you African American or Caucasian American?" she asked with harshness in her voice.
"I'm BLUE!" Joel proudly replied.
"I'm blue, too!" She smiled brightly and drew the knife back. "Great!" She took hold of his hand and shook it heartily before running off.
"And all those pesky 'gangstas' will be so confused that they won't fight!"
Joel stepped to the back to allow Servo and Crow room to rush in, holding penknives and wearing bandannas around their heads.
Servo growled and asked, "Are you an enemy 'gangsta'?"
Crow growled back and answered, "Dunno, are you?"
"What color's your bandanna?" he inquired as they continued circling each other.
"What's yours?"
He stopped his circling and responded, "Looks blue."
"Mine, too!" Crow happily exclaimed.
"Well . . ." Servo paused uncertainly. ". . . What do we do now?"
"Dunno . . . wanna go for a smoothie?"
"I would love to!" They both left, chattering cheerfully.
Joel stepped forward and concluded, "So, the 'Blue' thing seems reasonable enough to solve the problems of the world!" Lowly, he added lowly, "Some side effects may occur. All this blue can cause sadness and depression, if color blind everything will be a pitch gray, some will think they are Smurfs." Louder, he asked, "What do you think, sirs?"
Angie, Servo and Crow re-entered to see what the Mads had to say.
Deep 13:
Oddly, Deep 13 was a pitch black, and neither Dr. Forrester nor TV's Frank could be seen. But then, in a flash of blinding light, something appeared. Three white lights came to life with four, smaller, yellow lights below them. It freakishly looked like an evil, smiling face. Then, a small, frightening "r-r-r-r-r-r" sound began.
Satellite of Love:
Everyone screamed in shock and terror, the blue color now replaced by a bright red.
D13:
The lights in the pitch darkness were still on, and the "r-r-r-r-r" sound continued.
SoL:
Everyone still screamed, and now even Cambot was shaking and Gypsy was running in mad circles behind the others.
D13:
"R-r-r-r-r-r . . ."
SoL:
The pandemonium still reigned and now Angie had a death grip on Joel and Servo was sobbing uncontrollably.
D13:
The "r-r-r-r-r" sound was drowned out by loud, evil laughter.
A familiar voice ordered, "Frank, turn on the lights."
A second later, the lights from above flickered on to show a large, black box with three white headlights and four yellow car blinkers set in it.
Dr. F popped up from behind it and he leaned on the box, cackling his head off. Frank walked up and joined him in the evil guffaw, which lasted for a few moments.
SoL:
The regular color had returned and everyone had stopped screaming, but now Angie was sprawled out on the desk gripping her chest and Servo was still crying.
"What the HECK was THAT?!" Crow shouted.
D13:
Dr. F shrugged, wiping tears from his eyes. He sighed and replied, "Me 'n' Frank couldn't think up an invention, so we thought we'd play a joke on you."
"And it was priceless, too," Frank added, red-faced and still giggling.
SoL:
Joel stood over Angie and was flapping Servo's lyric sheet in her face, trying to get her to cool off and come to. He stopped, placed his fists on his hips and told them angrily, "I think you've killed Angie!"
D13:
"Bah, she'll get over it." Dr. F stepped away from his light-box and went toward his computer. He popped in a disk and said, "Now, as much fun as this was--" He was interrupted by a sudden burst of laughter from Frank and he waited until it passed, forcing himself to keep serious. "Anyway, as much fun as that was, you now have to go read a nice, little fanfic. It's called 'What it takes' by Hitmonchan. It's about Jessie and James training to become Team Rocket members." A smiled appeared on his face and he sniggered. "Enjoy it as much as we enjoyed our practical joke!" He and Frank began guffawing anew as he pressed "enter" on the computer.
SoL:
Angie had partially woken up, but she was still delirious from the scare and she grabbed Servo's head saying, "Spook! I said no! Down, Spook, down!" She shoved Servo repeatedly onto the desk as he blubbered.
"I'm beginning to think we don't live with normal people," Crow said matter-of-factly.
Then the movie/fanfic sign went off.
"Oh, we have fanfic sign!" Joel shouted above the din.
He and Crow ran off to their entrances while Angie staggered behind, holding onto Servo's arm, yelling, "Tom! Tom! What'd you do with my DragonBall Z tape!? Tom!"
~*~*~*~*~*~
(all enter and sit in their usual seats, Crow in the first, Joel next to him, Angie sets Servo in the third seat and she is in the fourth. By now both she and Servo have composed themselves.)
SERVO: Who's that Tom you were talking about?
ANGIE: Sorry, I was flashing back to a painful time with my brother Tom.
SERVO: He has the same name as me?
ANGIE: He also has the same initials. "T.S."
SERVO: Wow!
>What it takes
CROW: . . . to make Servo cry? Not much.
SERVO: Shad up.
>By: Hitmonchan
JOEL: (sings) Jynx, Jynx-- Hitmonchan! I think I'm in Jigglypuff with you!
>>Prologue: Many people think that members of Team Rocket are complete
idiots. That's not so.
ANGIE: (author) They're imbeciles, one step ABOVE idiots.
>In fact, Jesse and James themselves aren't
>idiots.
CROW: It's just Meowth. That lazy scratch cat is a bad influence!
>Here's a little story that tells people what it takes to
>become a member of Team Rocket, and also what it takes for Ash to see
>that Team Rocket isn't full of idiots, not to mention what it takes
>to put up with Jesse.
SERVO: That was originally the title of this fanfic, but Hitmonchan decided to tone it down a little.
>Hence the title.
>>Chapter one
>>A small girl sits on the ground of a cabin. Her face is wet with
>tears, and she seems to be hurt.
JOEL: She SEEMS to be hurt. She very well could have spilled her booze all over her face by accident.
>A blue-headed boy comes in quietly
>and strokes her head.
ANGIE: King Player gets a new pet . . .
CROW: Mr. Bigglesworth gets a wig and has a deal with Sailor Moon.
SERVO: Wha?
CROW: Nevermind.
>She jumps at his touch, but looks up.
JOEL: (girl) This is sexual harassment and I don't have to take it!
ANGIE: (girl) But I will. Tee-hee.
>"James...I'm glad it's only you."
>"Training hard today?" She nodded.
>"Lily covered for me while I came in here to rest." The boy we now
>know is James pulled her up.
CROW: (girl) Owiee! James, not by my hair!
SERVO: Is this going to be a "Nikita" crossover?
>"Come on then. Team Rocket doesn't want crybabies."
JOEL: -scoff- He's one to talk.
>"James, don't be so mean!"
ANGIE: (girl) I can whoop your ass, so help me God!
>"I'm not. But you know that He'll do something terrible if you don't
>shape up.
CROW: God is a mean god.
>Now come on. Just harden your muscles. It'll get easier."
SERVO: (girl) How do I do THAT?
ANGIE: (James) Eat a lot of iron, I s'posse.
>They went back out to the training fields. A rather large woman bent
>down to look at the little girl.
ALL: Wahhhhhh!
JOEL: (covers his eyes) Man, I didn't wanna see THAT view!
>"Jesse, are you gonna be okay?"
>"I'm fine." She sniffled a bit more, but then wiped her face and
>stood with the other girls. They were all older than her.
>"James, get back over to the boys side of camp." She laughed
>involuntary
ANGIE: (Jessie) What am I saying, they won't know the difference! Stay all you want!
>at calling this camp. Add the word boot on and
>maybe.....
CROW: Camp boot?
>"Okay ladies! Line up! On your mark, get set, GO!" Jesse
>took off running at full speed. She slowed down in order to keep her
>pace.
ALL: (Jessie, panting) To the ends of the Earth, to the ends of the Earth . . .
>Okay, the first obstacle on The Course. A brick wall.
SERVO: (Jessie) Alls I hafta do is run into it, and I'll pass it.
ANGIE: So, Team Rocket is PURPOSEFULLY trained to be stupid?
>Jesse
>leaped up and grabbed onto the side of it. Other girls were doing the
>same as her, but only a few were making it. Jesse began to slip, but
>she gritted her teeth and dug her feet into the side.
JOEL: (Jessie) Ack! I broke a heel! Wahhhh!
>She gathered
>all her energy into her feet and sprung up towards the top. She
>managed to grab onto the top.
CROW: But . . . I thought she already had, but she started to slip, so she sprang up via a push FROM the wall . . .
SERVO: Try not to think about it.
CROW: I keep on forgetting that rule.
>Jesse breathed a sigh of relief. She
>pulled herself all the way up and then jumped down on the other side.
>Only half of the girls that had started out were there, and she ran
>faster to try and keep up.
JOEL: PE gets harder and harder, don' it?
ANGIE: I'll NEVER complain about having to run the circuit EVER again!
>The Course went on. Jesse wasn't really
>that bad. Jump, duck, slide.
CROW: In no particular order, just do it to look impressive.
SERVO: Scoop, roll, throw, hit, duck!
JOEL: The perfect snowball tossing theory.
>She thought mentally as she performed
>each. Run, run, run....Ow!!!
ANGIE: (Jessie) My OTHER heel!
>She was hit by the same thing that had
>hit her before.
CROW: (Jessie) Damn seagulls!!!!
>She was at the end of The Course, where they threw
>rocks and you had to dodge them.
SERVO: . . . . I don't think I want to be a Team Rocket member anymore.
JOEL: I'm sure THIS wasn't in the "Help Wanted" ad!
>She gritted her teeth to ignore the
>throbbing pain in her leg. She ran faster. The rocks kept coming. She
>dodged them, thinking only of survival the whole time. She was hit in
>the stomach, she clutched her stomach, all the while falling, but she
>got back up and was promptly hit again in the arm. This time she kept
>her balance and began to run again. She dodged some more, and just
>when she saw the finish line, a rock hit her square in her temple.
>She fell.
>When Jesse awoke,
ANGIE: . . . she smelled of blood and bile. "What had I been doing?!" she thought.
>she was sitting in her bed in the cabin. Lily
>jumped to her feet when she saw her eyes open. Jesse took the wet
>cloth off her head, but at Lily's insistence, put it back on.
CROW: (Lily) Screw bandages, a wet cloth will help!
>"Jesse! You were great! You were the only girl to get that close to
>the end! I only got to the barbed wire."
SERVO: (Jessie) You big loser! You suck! Who would be held back by barbed wire! Seesh!
>Jesse saw the many bandages
>on her face, not to mention all the scratches on her legs, so she
>knew that much was true.
>"Ouch."
ALL: --Kapow!!!-- Ouch!
>"How many rocks hit you?"
>"6."
>"And you didn't die! Wow!"
JOEL: (Jessie) It's all right, Lily, they were just PEBBLES.
>Jesse murmured something, then proceeded
>to fall back asleep.
>Meanwhile, James is standing in a big ring with a much older boy.
ANGIE: (James, whiny) Sumo wrestling? But I only weigh seventy-five pounds!
>He
>was barehanded, and he wore a karate-like outfit.
CROW: (James as Johnny Bravo) I am fluent in all forms of martial arts! Did I mention that I'm still working on sumo?
>He seemed to be
>dancing about the ring, and finally the older boy pounced. James
>jumped into the air and over the boy. Edward, (For that was his name)
>came falling down as he clearly missed James. James turned and
>started to attack when Edward turned round and held his arms up.
SERVO: (Edward) I'm going to give you a hug THIS big!
>He
>brought them crashing down onto James. Or so he thought, as did
>everyone who was watching. All the sudden, the people who had their
>eyes closed opened them to see Edward leaned over, and James under
>him. Edward did not move, and nobody could figure out why not.
>Finally James walked back and jumped out of Edward's way, for just
>then, Edward fell forward. They rolled him over and everyone realized
>that James had punched him in the gut while he was trying to attack.
JOEL: If only Edward didn't have that darn beer gut, he might've made it into the finals.
>James was declared the winner, and he changed into his regular
>clothes. Then he went to Jesse's cabin. Lily stood when she heard
>him, but he merely went over to Jesse and looked at her, smiling.
ANGIE: Jeez, Lily was being a perfect gentleman to James, but he didn't even bother to acknowledge it.
>Then he left.
CROW: Some friend he is!
SERVO: I left her five bucks as a "Get Well" present, she'll be fine.
>>* * * *
>>"JAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSSSS!
ALL: AHHHHHHH!!!
(they all gasp after they finish screaming, Angie is grabbing her heart again)
>Help me! I need you to help me!!!!"cried a
>small voice.
>"But I don't know where you are! Or who you are!" James saw before
>him suddenly an image of Jesse running The Course. But he didn't know
>what it was at the time.
JOEL: (James) Oobie-doobie? Are you still here?
ANGIE: (Oobie-doobie) Yes, in spirit.
JOEL: (James) That's kinda creepy.
>He couldn't remember. Suddenly, there were
>people throwing rocks at Jesse, and she fell, not knowing what had
>hit her. James ran to her, but a young boy with black hair stopped
>him from going any further. She suddenly fell into a black hole.
>"NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!"
CROW: Ash IS the dreammaker!
>>James woke in a cold sweat. He jumped out of his sleeping bag and
>went over across the damp floor of the cave to look at the sleeping
>figure of Jesse. He sighed. She was okay, and Ash was nowhere around
>them.
SERVO: Crow! You peeked!
CROW: Did not!
>He shivered in the cold mist that surrounded the cave.
>"Bad dream?" asked an annoying voice.
>"Ahh!!! Meowth, be quiet! Don't wake up Jesse!" But it was too late.
>"You two idiots! What are you doing! It's not even light out yet! I'm
>trying to get my beauty sleep and you two are up and about, being
>noisy and trying to wake me up, no doubt!!!!"
>"Jesse! Please just go back to sleep! It wasn't my fault! Meowth
>scared me and I screamed, a-a-a-and......"
JOEL: (James) And-and-- wow! You grew up FAST! And so did I! And where'd the Jersey cat come from?
>Jesse pulled out her mallet and hit Meowth with it. Then she slapped
>James silly and rolled over and went to sleep. James got a small tear
>in his eye, but he wiped it away. After all, he was a member of Team
>Rocket. He pulled himself together. Hmmp. I don't know why I worry
>about her like I do. He went back to his sleeping bag and slept also.
>>* * * *
ANGIE: And for trivia, that night there were four super novas. Neat, huh?
OTHERS: Ooo, ahhh.
>"James? Is that you?" A smaller Jesse cried out. She couldn't figure
>out why she was so small. It was as if she were a child again. She
>finally saw the figure of James, and she smile in spite of herself.
>"Oh, James, I've been looking all over for you, and......" James
>frowned at her.
CROW: (James) You stole my fudge-cicle, didn't you, you big meanie!
>He was his usual self, physically, anyway. He
>continued to frown, as Jesse began to get scared.
SERVO: (Jessie) James, don't stare at me that way, James.
>Then she was angry
>at him, for not caring about her.
JOEL: (Jessie) You said you would get me a new Barbie doll since you flushed the last one down the john!
>"James! What do you think you're doing, acting like that?"
>"Acting like what?"
>"Like.....like you're mad at me for everything!"
>"Like you?"
>"Like...me? What do you mean like me????" At each word her voice grew
>angrier.
>"Like that. There, you see? You always get mad at me, even when I've
>done nothing!" He yelled the last sentence. "You're the most stuck-
>up, conceited, barbarian woman that I've ever seen. Think back. It's
>not always been like that, has it? We used to be friends." Jesse had
>many times imagined what it would be like if James were more of a
>man.
ANGIE: Maybe if she pulled down his pants--
SERVO: Angie, no!
ANGIE: . . . . Sorry.
>Somehow, this was exactly the way she imagined it. Each word he
>said reminded her of so many times when she had wondered why he
>didn't say them.
CROW: This time, JAMES has the mallet! Whap! Whap! Whap!
>"Do you remember our beginnings? CAN you remember? By the way you
>act, it would seem as though you had forgotten. Not that it would
>surprise me. You didn't say anything about my birthday two weeks ago."
>"But, James, I did remember! I just didn't bother getting you
>anything."
>"I didn't care if you bought me anything! All I wanted was for you to
>say something to show that you recognized that I'm a person, not your
>slave."
JOEL: (Jessie) Well, I was going to pop out of a cake and sing Happy Birthday to You, but I was afraid that Meowth was going to BAKE the cake while I was in it!
>She began to argue back, but the dream was over.
SERVO: (Jessie) -scoff- Typical James, he runs away at any sign of confrontation!
>She awoke,
>trembling all over. She snuck a glance at James, who seemed to be
>having his own nightmare. She didn't get up though. She just turned
>over and went back to sleep. She was still mad at him for waking her
>up earlier.
ANGIE: Maybe she'd look prettier in her sleep if she didn't wear Biore strips . . . if she didn't have a nasal strip on her nose . . . didn't wear a mud mask . . . didn't have to wear her retainers . . . didn't put her hair up in one HUGE curler.
CROW: I've often wondered how she made that hairstyle.
>>* * * *
>>Oy....Jesse woke with a creak in her back. Her head throbbed
>violently, though she couldn't remember why.
JOEL: Could SLEEPING ON A CAVE FLOOR have something to do about it?
>She put her hand to her
>temple, and felt the bandage there.
SERVO: Jeez, I wish the fanfic would WARN us before lapsing into a flashback.
ANGIE: Maybe if it supplied a "doolydoolydoolydooly . . ."
>Then she painfully remembered.
CROW: (Jessie) Gawd, how I HATE playing foosball with James . . .
>Just then the trumpet was sounded, and she and her fellow 'campers'
>had to get up and get dressed.
JOEL: (Jessie) Huh, I wonder why they're playing the death march this morning on the trumpet?
>It was going to be another full day at
>TRTC. Team Rocket Training Center. She dressed and was at breakfast
>in less than five minutes.
SERVO: (Jessie) I only take showers on SPECIAL days!
>She sat down with James and they were
>served their meal.
>"Jesse, how's your head?"
>"It's doing better."
>"What are your activities today?"
>"Um.....self defense, shooting, and robbery. Yours?"
>"Oh wow, you actually get to start working today? I've got all
>physical training. Again."
ANGIE: (James) For some reason, the counselors say that _I_ need it! Why do you think that is?
CROW: (Jessie, nervous) I-I have no clue, femboy-- I mean, James!
>"Well, we were gonna have to do The Course again, but Freda talked
>Them out of it on my account."
>"Freda your counselor?"
>"I guess. I don't know what else to call her."
JOEL: (Jessie) Maybe poopiehead, but never to her face.
SERVO: With a name like "Freda," I should say not!
>"Oh. I won at sparring yesterday when you were knocked out."
>"James! That's great!"
>He blushed a little. "Well, maybe, but Edward says he's gonna kill
>me."
>Jesse's eyes widened. "You beat Big Ed????"
>He blushed even more. "Yeah."
ANGIE: (James) It's not a very big deal, he was dead drunk when I got him.
CROW: (James) I'm just lucky he didn't spew all over me when I jabbed him in the stomach.
>He turned away and ate some more eggs.
>A voice cam out over the loudspeaker.
JOEL: The voices!!!! They're in my HEAAAAAAD!!!
>"Attention all Rocket Trainees. You have ten minutes to finish
>breakfast and get to your activities."
>Jesse and James ate quickly, said their good-byes, and ran off.
>Jesse went to self defense and sat through a boring lecture about
>luring people who want to take advantage of you into a false sense of
>security, and then knifing them and taking all their money.
SERVO: Obviously, Team Rocket trainees don't learn subtlety.
ANGIE: When knifing, they use a plastic dagger, of course.
CROW: (Jessie) Blood and guts-- oh, yawn. How BORING!
>The day
>passed as usual, when a new voice came over the loudspeaker.
JOEL: The voices won't GOOOO!!!
>"Attention all campers and counselors. Evacuate immediately."
>Everyone knew what that meant. The police found this place again.
SERVO: Apparently, the can of Raid didn't work.
>Jesse and Lily ran back to their cabins, grabbed all their stuff and
>met with Freda and they hopped in the TRTC bus, and sped away.
ANGIE: (police officer) There they go, in a remarkably slow bus!
CROW: (sergeant) Ah, it's too late, we'll get 'em later.
JOEL: (another officer) But they're going only forty miles an hour!
CROW: (sergeant) I SAID, we'll get 'em later!
>That's
>why everyone was ordered to keep all their stuff inside their
>backpacks, except for what they needed.
SERVO: Gasp! Even my ARMOIRE?
>They were on their way to the
>northern headquarters to see if it had been taken. If it had not,
>they stayed there until it was safe to travel to the next camp.
>>Chapter two
ANGIE: Escape From Alcatrez . . . Wait, that's another story.
>>Ash sat down on the cold, damp ground and stated the obvious.
CROW: (Ash) The ground is cold and damp!
JOEL & SERVO: (Brock and Misty) Shut up, Ash!
>They
>were lost. What a surprise.
ANGIE: I have a feeling the author doesn't like the heroes that much.
CROW: Nah, whatever gave you THAT idea?
>They were on their way to Cinnabar, and
>the were lost in the Seafoam Islands. They heard whispering, and they
>leaned in to hear what was going on.
>"Look, we're not supposed to argue with the boss. He said to take all
>the people in here alive, and they just happened to be here!"
>"But Jesse, then we'll never get to try and take the Pikachu again!"
>"Quiet. We don't go against da boss's orders!" Team Rocket suddenly
>appeared and said, not surprisingly,
JOEL: (Team Rocket) Hey!!! . . . You have any ice skates?
>"Prepare for trouble!"
>"Make that double!"
SERVO: A double espresso, eh?
ANGIE: No, she wants double mint gum.
>"To protect the world from devastation!"
>"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
>"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
>"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
CROW: (Team Rocket) It's all part of our ten-step aerobics routine!
>"Jesse!"
>"James!"
>"Team Rocker blast off at the speed of light!"
>"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"
>"Meowth! Dat's right!"
>"Okay, okay, I know! Where are Weezing and Arbok?"
JOEL: (Team Rocket, embarrassed) We tried to surf on them, and they both drowned . . .
>"Foolish boy! We aren't here for a pokémon battle. We're here to get
>all the pokémon trainers out of this cave!"
>"Why?"
ANGIE: (Team Rocket) It's being fumigated for roaches, and we don't want anyone to get hurt.
>"Because Team Rocket is going in there to get Articuno! That's why!"
>"You'll never steal that bird! Pikachu and I will defend it to the
>death!"
CROW: (Ash) No I won't! I will defeat you, then I will battle Articuno on my own, then I'll capture it! Hahah!
>"No you won't. We're supposed to take you alive!"
>"Come and get me! Pikachu, Thundershock!" James pulled out an odd
>looking pokéball. It was normal, only it was bigger and painted green
>and red, and it had an 'M' on the button. James carelessly threw it
>at Pikachu, and it was caught. Ash and co. stared in disbelief.
>"A Masterball. We've got millions of them." he explained shortly.
SERVO: (James) We stole it from Silph Co., put it on number 6 of our item list, went to speak to the old man in Veridian, said "Yes," then we went to Cinnabar where we surfed along the shore, came across Missingno., defeated him, thus multiplying our storage. . . . I mean, we just have millions of them! Hehehehehe . . .
>Then he and Jesse put them in a very large net and stole all their
>pokéballs, simply by dipping the net in the water and all pokéballs
>come out under water.
ALL: . . . . . . WHAT?
JOEL: You're telling me that Team Rocket put Ash, Brock and Misty in a net and lowered them UNDER water, letting the Pokéballs float up to the top, and leaving Ash-tachi underwater?
ANGIE: I suppose so.
CROW: So much for getting everyone out ALIVE.
>They had Arbok get in the water and retrieve
>them all. Psyduck escaped, of course, but Jesse and James merely put
>it in a Masterball, and thought nothing more of it.Then they threw
>the net into a cage and locked it up good and tight, then they
>carried it off back to Team Rocket Headquarters.
SERVO: So, they got them out of the water, put them in a cage and carried them back to HQ, which is a stupid thing to do, since they now know where HQ is, and let them sit in wet clothes to catch a cold then die of pneumonia?
ANGIE: It's too complicated, so just shut up.
>James sighed, "I'm gonna miss trying to capture Pikachu." Meowth
>agreed, and Jesse yelled at them for not being more professional.
>Inside the cage, Ash, Brock and Misty are having a discussion.
>"What I don't understand, " began Ash, "is why this is actually
>working. Maybe it's just a dream! And even if it's not, we'll get out
>of this somehow. We always do! After all, this is Team Rocket we're
>talking about here! They always mess up somehow!"
>"Don't you get it Ash?!?!" yelled Misty, "They didn't make mistakes
>this time! They must've gotten brains or something!"
CROW: (Team Rocket) We've always wanted brains, but they were just so expensive, but then they went on sale last Friday, so we bought a few!
>"You're wrong too, Misty." announced Brock, "They've been capable of
>this the whole time. They just haven't shown it to catch us off
>guard." They continued to argue.
JOEL: They just happened to get lucky one day, don't think too hard about it.
>>* * * *
>>"Jesse, James, Meowth, the Boss wishes to speak with you now." They
>stood and walked in.
>"Very well done. You've taken all the travelers without a trace. I've
>already gotten a rumor started that there is a phantom pokémon on the
>loose in the cave. That rumor should buy us enough time to get
>Articuno and get out.
SERVO: Why can't they just go into Seafoam, throw a Masterball and capture Articuno, simple as pie?
ANGIE: Maybe when they bought their brains, they threw away a few "extra" parts.
>You are dismissed." He stood and walked over to
>Meowth. He bent down and picked him up, and, surprisingly, not to
>Meowth's surprise,
CROW: Even though it WAS surprising, it wasn't THAT surprising.
>he stroked his fur. "How's Meowth been?"
>"Just fine, chief!" The Boss laughed and Meowth did too. He set
>Meowth on the floor and turned to the humans. "Here, you earned
>this." He tossed a wad of money at them. They took it and walked out.
>Jesse walked off on her own as soon as they left the office.
JOEL: (Jessie) I am, like, so going on a shopping spree! Bye, guys!
>Meowth
>said he had some business to take care of.
SERVO: (Meowth) I hafta pay off Big Bertha for my co-- uh . . . squeaky toys. See ya!
>So, once again, James was
>on his own. He thought back to being a child, and how great it was to
>spend every day with his best friend Jesse. But her heart had turned.
ANGIE: Some say that her heart was two sizes too small.
>He wondered if he was still in love with her or not. It had been a
>long time since he had last longed to touch her hair, or to hold her.
>As he thought of the idea now, it disgusted him.
CROW: He was afraid to touch her hair now because his hand might stick on it from all the hair spray she uses!
>He needed to get
>away.
>James went downtown to look around.
JOEL: (sings) The lights are much brighter there, you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares, and go DOWNTOWN! Things will be great when you're DOWNTOWN! No finer place for sure! DOWNTOWN, everything is waiting for you!
>He was rather thirsty, but didn't
>feel like going all the way back to the vending machines by the
>grocery store. He heard a noise that sounded like a gun being cocked.
>He ducked into an alley and put his hand on his own gun. He looked
>out to see who was there. Only a hold up. A local jewelry store. He
>thought there was no point in looking into it further, so he left the
>center street and walked off, as he had no taste for being thought to
>be the crime commiter.
SERVO: (James) I guess I COULD stop the robbery, since I have a gun and all, but, nah, I don't feel like it. I'm too thirsty.
>He hated being blamed for crimes he didn't
>commit. He walked down the street whistling, when suddenly he bumped
>into someone.
>"Dreadfully sorry ma'am." He tipped his hat in a fashion that made
>people mistake him for a gentleman. It was Officer Jenny. She didn't
>recognize him though, as the hat tip also secluded his eyes from
>unwanted people. She ran off, and he figured she was on her way to
>the crime scene.
ANGIE: Either that, or she hates southerny gentlemen.
>He was quite right, although he didn't particularly
>care. He walked further until he got into a rather bad neighborhood.
CROW: Skid row! And, wow, look! A flower shop with a huge, Venus flytrap-like plant!
>He breathed deep the sweet smells of the slums.
JOEL: (inhales deeply, then begins to cough up a lung)
>He turned and saw a
>local bar, so naturally, he went in.
ALL: Naturally.
SERVO: I sure would! If I'm in skid row, it would be a crime in itself not to visit a shady bar!
>He still had his half of the big
>wad of money in his pocket. He bought a small beer, and he drank it
>peacefully. A drunk came up to him and asked him where he was from.
>He ignored him.
>"Hey pretty boy! I asked you a question!" Still, James ignored him.
>The man, in a drunken rage, threw a punch. James swiftly dodged it
>without looking up. The man attacked him again, and finally, James
>stood. The drunk clumsily punch at him, but James just dodged. It was
>quite boring actually. He paid for his beer, all the while dodging
>the blows.
ANGIE: It's Big Ed, and boy, has he NOT changed.
OTHERS: (sing) And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you, someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to guide them along . . . . DOWNTOWN! Things will be great when you're DOWNTOWN! . . .
>Then he left. When he did, the man turned to his gang and
>said, "Well, I sure showed him!" James found a nicer looking place to
>spend the night, and he was given a nice room on the ninth floor. He
>didn't unpack anything, he just laid on the bed without pulling down
>the covers, and slept in quick cat-naps all night long. Being in Team
>Rocket gave you a certain feel as if everything was out to get you.
CROW: I know how he feels. Sometimes, when I'm laying in bed, I think the lamp will start strangling me with its cord.
>He was always kept on his toes.
JOEL: That's kinda a hard way to sleep.
>Around five o'clock in the morning,
>someone burst down his door. A man with a gun entered, and a woman
>who was behind him said, "There he is, that horrid man from Team
>Rocket that checked in last night!"
SERVO: (officer) What's the charge, ma'am?
ANGIE: (woman) He stared at me funny, and then he ate all the food at the salad bar!
>About that time was when they
>realized that James wasn't there anymore. Had they looked out the
>window, James might have been in trouble, but they didn't.
>Meanwhile, James was hanging on a windowsill on the building next to
>the hotel.
CROW: (James) Thank God for those Acme Spring-shoes!
>He scrambled up the side, coolly as a cat,
JOEL: As graceful as a moose.
>and then
>continued to jump from roof to roof until he found a good sturdy
>drain pipe to climb down on. Of course, you'd think that anyone who
>would leap roof to roof wouldn't be scared of an unsteady drain pipe,
ALL: Naahhhhh!
>but James knew how to jump. He always took precautions. Being in Team
>Rocket kept one on their toes after all. Nevertheless, the pipe did
>break, but James was prepared.
SERVO: Prepared to break his neck, of course.
>He took his landing stance and landed
>with only a small thud.
ANGIE: --crack!-- (James) Agh!! My ANKLE!
>In order to keep from drawing attraction to
>himself, he climbed over a wall to safety.
ANGIE: --crack!-- (James) Ack! My OTHER ankle!
>>* * * *
>>We go back to training camp.
CROW: Hey, cool! Hitmonchan warned us this time about the flashback!
>It is the same training camp as before,
>only it is one year later. Jesse, James, and their fellow campers,
JOEL: Billy and Kid, Butch and Cassidy, Ted and Kazcinsky . . .
>are all sitting in a large room, waiting for something, or so it
>seems. A large man enters the room, and he is introduced as Giovanni,
>the boss of Team Rocket.
SERVO: (announcer type voice) Ladies and gentlemen . . . . GIOVANNI!
ALL: (muffled cheers)
>"Hello, future members of Team Rocket. This has been one of our best
>years, as we have found several new members to add to our growing
>family.
CROW: (Giovanni) This family of HATRED.
ALL: (trainees) ~whimper~
>Now then, it is at this time that you must decide if this is
>really what you want. If you change your mind now, your memory of
>this whole year will be erased,
ANGIE: (Giovanni) We share our technology with the Men in Black.
>and you will be returned to your
>family. After right now, nobody is allowed to turn back. I will call
>you up here in twos, with the person who will be your partner for
>your entire Team Rocket career. When I call you up, you will receive
>1 pokémon, unless you already have one. When you get up here, you and
>your partner will recite your motto that you made in 'Bad Mottos 101'
ALL: -snicker-
JOEL: So, we were right to assume that Team Rocket WAS trained to be idiots?
>Remember, if you don't like your partner, it is your own fault, as
>you picked them yourself. And further more, whoever's motto I like
>the most will win the grand prize."He began calling people up. He
>finally got to Jesse and James, for they had, of course, picked each
>other.
SERVO: (Jessie) I wanted Lily, actually, but "Jessie" and "James" sounded so much cooler than "Jessie" and "Lily."
>They walked up to the stage and James displayed his Koffing,
>and Jesse displayed her Ekans.
CROW: (Giovanni) Have they been NEUTERED?
ANGIE: (Jessie and James) Yessir . . .
>Then they each took a deep breath.
>James turned on his tape player.
>They cried out in unison, "Allow us to introduce ourselves!"
>"To protect the world from devastation!"
>"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
>"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
>"To extend out reach to the stars above!"
>"Jesse!"
>"James!"
>"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
>"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"
>They looked at each other dramatically. "And we'll convince you, Team
>Rocket is right." They spoke together. Everyone clapped.
SERVO: (random trainee) Hey! That's from a SONG!
>It was Lily
>and Leslie's turn now. They listened.
>"We're Team Rocket, no one can beat in a fight!"
>"We're the best, there ever was, no one can top our cause!" They
>continued their motto, er...their cheer. Jesse and James both
>sweatdropped.
JOEL: Well, they certainly look cute in their cheerleading outfits.
>The ceremonies finally ended, and it was the time to
>announce the winners.
>"And the winners are......Jesse and James!" They grinned all over,
>and they went up to receive their prize.
>"What's our prize? What's our prize???" They shouted.
CROW: (Giovanni) You each get . . . a Pikachu Pez Dispenser!
>"First or all, you each get to wear special Team Rocket uniforms! The
>first ever that are not black. Secondly, you get......."
>"ME!" yelled a gangster's voice from over head.
ANGIE: (Jessie and James) Omigod! Al Capone's found us!!!!
>A small cat pokémon
>landed on their heads.
>"Yes. This is Meowth. The first ever TALKING pokémon.
ALL: (dully) Unless if you count the Gastly at Maiden's Peak . . .
>But be warned.
>You don't own this pokémon. He is a companion. I do not mean for him
>to be in any battles, unless it is absolutely necessary. Otherwise,
>he is as smart as an average human....."
>"Which isn't very smart!"
ALL: (good-natured laughs)
>"Not to mention as witty. I'm sure you three will be the stars of
>Team Rocket!" Everyone cheered them on, and Jesse and James stared at
>the Meowth for a long time.
JOEL: (Jessie) Should we tell him he has a huge piece of food on his face?
SERVO: (James) Shhhhh . . .
>Soon the ceremonies were over, and
>everyone was given their first assignment. Of course, the kids
>weren't given anything hard at first. Jesse and James's assignment
>was to capture some kid's Nidoqueen. It wouldn't be too hard, it
>wasn't really that rare, and they could probably get one without
>stealing,
CROW: But they didn't want to go through the trouble of capturing a Nidorina and buying or finding a Moon Stone to evolve it with.
>but you have to ease into the pokémon thief business.
>"Okay you two. Here's da plan. Look, dere's da kid, and dere's her
>backpack. She isn't wearing a pokéball belt, so her pokéballs are
>probably in her backpack." Meowth announced
>"The way I see it, we should steal all her pokémon, because we don't
>know which one is the Nidoqueen." put in James.
>"James is right, Meowth. We don't know. Besides, the boss will be
>happier if we do it this way. After all, she might have other good
>pokémon."
>"Hmm....I suppose I should be just letting you two figure things out
>anyway. After all, this is only a tutorial mission. But, yes, I
>suppose you ARE right, James. Come on." All this time they had been
>sitting on the roof of a store.
ANGIE: They were trying to get away from the Tremors.
JOEL: (Ash) What kind of Pokémon is THAT? Arrrrgh!!
>"Wait, first we need a plan." said James, "Okay, Meowth, you get down
>there and distract her, by um, being cute, I guess. But, since I can
>see Officer Jenny down there, Jesse can do something to distract the
>cops while I steal her pokémon!"
>"Why do I distract the cops?"
>"Because you can run faster than me! And once everything is done,
>then we all meet back at head quarters. Jesse, lead her on a wild
>goose chase for about four blocks. Can you do that?"
SERVO: (Jessie) Like hell I'm gonna listen to YOU!
>"Yeah. Okay. I'm ready." Jesse and James shook hands. Meowth jumped
>off the side and pretended to hurt himself, and finally go the girl's
>attention. She put down her backpack and got out a small bandage.
CROW: (Meowth) C'mon, goil, spare some o' dat Super Potion! I'm in pain, 'ere!
>Jesse went running and grabbed a lady's purse, but she had already
>covered her face with a mask.
ANGIE: Unfortunately, Officer Jenny was able to peg her for the mugging since the mask didn't cover Jessie's hair.
>Officer Jenny went running after her.
>James hopped down quietly, and stole the bag, then he ducked into an
>alley and climber over a wall. After the girl was done with Meowth,
>she bent to get her bag, but it wasn't there! She turned back to the
>cat, but he was gone as well. Her face got all red,
JOEL: (announcer type voice) Zits, you never know when they will appear.
>and she went
>after Officer Jenny.
>Meanwhile, Jesse was running as fast as she could. Jenny was way
>behind her. She was getting tired so she ducked into an alley, and
>proceeded to climb a wall. She let Jenny see her climb over it, then
>she climbed up one side of a building that was behind the wall, and
>climbed through an open window. She waited until Jenny was long gone,
>and then she hopped back out in the alley, and made her way back to
>headquarters.
SERVO: (Jessie) Thank goodness my father was Spiderman!
>>Chapter three
>>Ash and co.
CROW: (annoucer-type voice) Ash and Company, bringing you the best service in fire ash, ash trees, Deadite hunting, and wussy Pokémon capturing. Ash and Company . . .
ALL: (hum a perky little tune)
>were sitting in a dark room. It seemed almost like a
>dungeon.
ANGIE: (Ash) You know, it's dark in here. Seems almost like a dungeon.
JOEL: (Brock and Misty) Shut up, Ash!
>"Pikachu." cried Ash. "And all the others." Misty cried softly. Ash
>awkwardly put his arms around her.
SERVO: Then, he threw up all over her.
CROW: (Ash) Sorry, that's what happens when I cry too much.
>Brock tactfully said nothing.
ANGIE: (Brock, non-tactfully) Even though our lives are in danger, I MUST say this. Ahem~ Ash and Misty, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
>Misty moved toward him, and sniffled, "Togepi!" she sobbed.
ALL: Yessss!
JOEL: I hope James eats him!
>There was
>a noise, and they all stood, and followed it. They arrived at the
>iron gates of the jail cell they were in.
>"Here's you supper." said a gruff voice. Three plates full of who
>knows what was put in front of them.
SERVO: They, of course, couldn't tell who knows what, since it was dark in the cell, as previously implied.
>They picked out some things that
>were eatable, and all and all it wasn't a bad supper.
CROW: (Misty) No wonder Jessie, James and Meowth steal and eat good food whenever they can.
>Then they laid
>down and went to sleep. A familiar face showed up at the cell.
>"Hmm...it seems so weird to have them locked up down here." said
>James to himself. It almost warmed his heart to look at Ash and Misty
>snuggled up together.
ANGIE: But then, he realized it was because of indigestion.
JOEL: (James) Boy, Brock sure does look good--
OTHERS: No!
JOEL: Sorry.
>It didn't surprise him. They fought so much
>that he knew they truly loved each other. He smiled in spite of
>himself. Why they fought almost as much as he and J......He stopped
>himself from thinking that.
CROW: (James) Josh . . . he doesn't love me anymore, I should just stop thinking of him.
JOEL: Oh, and _I_ can't make a gay joke?
CROW: Your gay joke was GROSS.
SERVO: Maybe Jesus doesn't love him anymore.
>He frowned and walked off. He went
>upstairs to look for Jesse. She was in her room, asleep. He looked at
>her sleeping figure from the doorway, when he suddenly saw her jump
>up with a start.
>"NO! GO AWAY! DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE! PLEASE! JAMES, HELP ME!!!!!" she
>screamed. He ran to her side and, fearing her wrath, he timidly
>pulled her to him.
>"Jess, Jess, calm yourself. Don't worry. Calm down." he tried to
>sound reassuring. "It was just a dream." Her face got all red, and
>James cringed. Here it came. The temper tantrum.
>"J-James?" He nodded.
>"Oh James. I'm glad it's you." She trailed off, and she buried her
>head in his chest.
ANGIE: (Jessie) Oh, gawd, you smell TERRIBLE!
JOEL: (James) I had a run-in with Big Ed . . .
>"That must have been some dream."
>"It wasn't a dream! It was too real! It happened just like it
>happened before!"
>"What happened?"
>Jesse managed to compose herself and told him the whole dream, but I
>won't tell it the way she did, because it would take too long,
CROW: (author) Or maybe because I'm lazy, I don't know. Whatever.
>what
>with all the crying and anger, and James's questions. She finally
>choked the whole story out to him, and here it is.
>
SERVO: (Jessie) I was at a fair, and you were with me, and you asked where the horses were, and then, suddenly, I was in a field with Meowth and Brock, and there were hospital tents, and people were being AMPUTATED with rusty saws, like in the Civil War, and I was left all alone. And suddenly, all these amputees came out and began singing a song about amputation, sung to the tune of "Robot Hell," and blood was squirting all over. . . . Then Austin Powers showed up, and he was HUGE.
OTHERS: . . . . . . .
SERVO: Don't look at me that way!
>Jesse was standing in the middle of some kind of fog. She groped
>around for something familiar, but she found nothing. All of a
>sudden, she heard police sirens, and she started running. Contrary to
>all her other run-ins with the police, she was horribly afraid,
ANGIE: (Jessie) Leslie Nelson was with them, and that frightened me terribly for some reason!
>and
>Jesse said that that was the worst part of the dream. She was
>horribly afraid of everything. The cops were shooting at her, and she
>was hit several times. But it never killed her, not even when it hit
>her heart.
JOEL: Jessie will never love again.
> Instead of just killing her, it just sent searing pain all
>through her body that never went away. Each time she was hit, it hurt
>worse. Eventually, they ran out of bullets, but the pain was still
>there. She figured it was gonna be okay, and she ran to headquarters,
>and called to be taken to the hospital. She was hysterical by the
>time she was attended to.
CROW: Well, I would be too if I was full of bullets.
>But then she wasn't taken to the hospital
>at all. They took her into Giovanni's office. She lay there on the
>floor while Giovanni laughed at her. Finally, he spoke.
>"Jesse, " he began with a flame in his eye, "I've noticed that you
>haven't been working very hard lately. After all, you just were
>caught by the cops!
SERVO: (Jessie) I was not! I was just shot full of their bullets, there's a difference!
>You led them to our hideout Jesse! It's all your
>fault! We had to kill all the police! And it's all your fault! You've
>killed innocent people in the past for me! It's your fault that those
>people are dead! It's your fault that family members are still
>weeping for that little boy who nosed his way into too much of Team
>Rocket's stuff! Yes, it was you, wasn't it? You were the one who
>killed little Timmy, just because he saw you making a getaway.
CROW: (overly dramatic) Nooooo!!! Not little Timmy!!!!
ANGIE: I guess Lassie just couldn't get to him on time.
>Just
>because he saw the license plate that you forgot to take off. His
>mother still cries for him! You are the cause of all the world's
>problems!"
JOEL: (Giovanni) And because of this, I am taking away your telephone privileges.
SERVO: (Jessie) Oh God NOOOOOO!
>With that, he took out a stamper and stamped Jesse's head
>with the word, 'scapegoat'.
CROW: (Jessie) Hey! I ain't no goat!
>Then he began to shout out orders.
>"Get over here and whip her 50 times!"
ANGIE: (Giovanni as Executive Mandark) You were almost late!
JOEL: (Jessie as Number 12 Dexter) I'm TYPING! I'm TYPING!
>A man with a dark mask on came
>over to her with a whip. He pulled up her shirt and whipped her, all
>the while people came and blamed her for everything. She kept yelling
>out, 'I'm sorry', but nobody would listen to her. Finally, the
>beating was over, but people were still yelling at her. Then the man
>with the mask spun her around and said, "It's your fault I'm
>insecure. It's your fault I got killed. You caused all my pain! You
>could have ended my suffering, but you didn't. You only think of
>yourself, Jesse! You saying one nice thing to me could have prevented
>this! But now, there is no hope!" When Jesse could bring herself to
>look at him, she felt as though she wanted to poke out her eyes.
CROW: (Jessie) These new contact lenses! Argh!
>She
>realized that the man who had whipped her had been James.
SERVO: And he had been enjoying it a little too much for her comfort.
ANGIE: (James as Karigari) Looks like I must *punish* you.
>But what
>terrified her was that now he was dangling over a cliff. She tried to
>save, him, and although she had tried her hardest, she felt as though
>she could have done more. There was something she could have done to
>prevent him from falling, she knew it. Then, before she could shed
>any tears, Giovanni was over her again, and now he was slicing her
>arms and blaming her, and laughing.
JOEL: Slicing her arms?
CROW: (Giovanni) Here, let me help you commit suicide. Oops! I missed your wrists! Oops!
>"NO! GO AWAY! DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE! PLEASE! JAMES, HELP ME!!!!!" she
>cried. But then the image of James falling was before her again.
>"I could have if you had let me, Jesse! But I'm dead now!" he cried.
>Then she woke up.
>"Oh James. It was so frightening!" she pulled him ever tighter.
>"Maybe it means something Jess."
SERVO: (James) Maybe it means you should be NICER to me from now on! Hmm? Hmm?!
>"WELL OF COURSE IT DOES!" James winced at her sudden anger. "But
>what?" she asked in a smaller voice.
ANGIE: Man, major "Rocket Princess" flashback, here.
>Then she became furious
>again. "But why am I telling you? It's none of your business! What
>were you doing in my room, anyway? Nevermind, I just want to go back
>to sleep."
JOEL: I think, for Jessie, EVERY day is that time of the month.
>With that she pushed him off the side of the bed and went
>back to sleep. James's face got red, and he just about lashed out at
>her, but then he just sighed. He knew that she would never changed,
>no matter how horrible her dreams were. He left her room and went to
>his own. He couldn't begin to think about sleeping. For the past
>three night he'd had horrible nightmares. Finally though, as there
>was nothing else to do, he slept. But only in small amounts of time.
CROW: He didn't want to deplete his savings account.
>He thought a lot about Jesse's dream in the period of time when he
>was awake. He wondered if it had any connection with his own. What if
>he were in trouble, but to save him, Jesse had to risk her own life.
>That would make sense, he supposed. Finally he drifted into a deep
>sleep, and he didn't wake up until morning came.
>>* * * *
SERVO: But wait, what's this? FOUR suns? James was lost.
>>Jesse, James and Meowth are standing outside the boss's office. A
>secretary sits talking to someone on the phone.
ANGIE: (secretary, to person on the phone) Yeah, Sherry, th' bitch, th' gansta cat an' th' fruitpie are 'ere. I should get my boyfriend o'er 'ere an' have 'im cork 'em one.
>>>Jesse and James,
>seeing as they are only 10,
JOEL: (Jessie) Oh, damn! James, what'd you do NOW?
SERVO: (James) I think it's a flashback.
JOEL: (Jessie) Oh, I see.
>fidget while they wait for her to be
>done. Meowth tries to get them to sit still, but he is trying in
>vain.
CROW: (James) M-chan, I wet myself.
ANGIE: (Meowth) Arrrrrrgh!
>Finally the secretary notices them and presses a button.
>"Giovanni, two kids and a Meowth to see you." There was a voice that
>came softly after, but the kids couldn't hear it.
JOEL: (secretary) Go on in, but th' Boss has th' flu, so's he can't talk very loud.
>"You can go in now." They nodded and the huge door opened to
>Giovanni's office.
SERVO: Boss! You can do MAGIC things!
>They barely dared to breathe.
CROW: It smelled really bad in there.
>"Ah! There you are! How'd the mission go? Oh, forgive me, have a
>seat! Would you like a soda?"
>>Author's note: The boss is not a bad person to the new recruits. As
>long as they don't mess up too many times.
ANGIE: Plus, he had accidentally bought over twelve gross cases of soda.
>>Jesse and James both took a soda eagerly.
JOEL: (Jessie and James) Mmm! Horseradish! My fave!
>Then the Boss gave Meowth a
>kitty treat. The Boss was the only person who ever gave Meowth kitty
>treats.
>"Well sir, we got Nidoqueen, as well as all the girl's other
>pokémon." James handed him the backpack. He pulled out the pokéballs,
>and threw them out on the ground to have a look at them.
>"And, when I was distracting the cops, I stole a lady's purse. She
>had a pokéball in there, as well as fifty dollars!
>"Hmm....Nidoqueen, Bellsprout, and....Abra. I wasn't aware she had
>Abra." Then he looked at the pokéball and the money that Jesse held
>out. "My, my, my!
SERVO: (Giovanni) Have you noticed how British I've been acting lately? How smashing!
>You have done your day's work!" He threw out the
>last pokéball. "Hmm...a Growlithe! Great!" James looked at the
>Growlithe with tears in his eyes,
CROW: (James) It bit me!
>but luckily, Giovanni didn't
>notice. "Well done! I knew you three would make a good team. From now
>on, you guys are my right-hand men. Er, kids. And pokémon." From that
>point on, Jesse, James and Meowth ran all the hardest missions for
>Giovanni.
ANGIE: Like, trying to steal a Pikachu from a ten year-old boy!
>But where did Jesse and James's friendship go wrong?
JOEL: I have no clue, but I have a feeling it had to do with CHEESE.
SERVO: A wedge of cheese, or E-Z-Cheese?
JOEL: Both.
SERVO: Oh.
>Well,
>it began about three years after the scene you've just witnessed.
>Today is Jesse's birthday and James is busy in his room wrapping her
>present.
CROW: A pass to "The World of Rollercoasters!"
>He just knew that she would love what he got her. It was a
>pair of jade earrings. Jesse had gotten her ears pierced last year,
>and he had been wanting to get her earrings for a while now. He was
>so pleased with himself. He was almost giddy. He kept imagining the
>look on her face as she received his gift. Then maybe, just maybe she
>might give him a kiss on the cheek and....He tried to snap himself
>out of it, but he couldn't.
ANGIE: (James) My health teacher told me that one day this would happen to me!
>Giovanni had given them the whole day
>off, just because of her birthday, and he couldn't wait to spend it
>with his best friend. James put the finishing touches on the gift,
>and began making his way to Jesse's room. He whistled as he went down
>the hallway.
>Meanwhile, Jesse was humming 'Happy birthday to me' as she got ready.
>She figured that James would be by any minute now, and he might even
>give her a gift. And he'd give her a kiss as he gave it to her. She
>shook her head, and tried to act more like a member of Team Rocket,
>but she couldn't.
JOEL: Is the author implying something when she ends a sentence like that?
OTHERS: Ewww . . .
>She heard a knock at the door. "James!" she raced
>to the door and opened it, "Why hello Ja....oh, hi Meowth."
>"Yeah, I love you too. Here's your present!"
>"Oh Meowth, you didn't have to get me anything!"
SERVO: (Jessie) Oh, I DO love you! I do, I do!
>She opened the
>present. "Oh, Meowth, it's beautiful!" She held up the silver
>bracelet. It sparkled in the sunlight. There was another knock. "Come
>in!" she sang.
>"Happy birthday Jess!" called James from the doorway. He handed her a
>small gift. She opened it and looked inside. "Oh! Earrings! James
>they're adorable!" She fasted them in and looked in the mirror. They
>looked beautiful on her.
CROW: (Jessie) They're huge and tacky, but they're so loverly!
>James smiled broadly. They both seemed to be
>waiting for something. Then, James broke the ice.
>"Well, where do you want to go for lunch?"
>"I don't care. You pick!"
>"How about.....La Mason Rouge?"
>"Oh James, you know we could go to McDonald's and I'd be happy." Then
>he flashed two reserved tickets for the fancy restaurant.
>"Oh James! This is gonna be the best birthday ever!"
>"But it won't be the last we share together." That day could have
>been a turning point for their relationship, if not for what happened
>later.
ANGIE: Meowth couldn't wait to go out to the sandbox, and he went on Jessie's shoe. James laughed and laughed, and she got POed. That's how their friendship fell to hell. The end.
>They were eating a wonderful lunch together, when all the
>sudden they heard the voice of their waiter.
>"Yes, the red-haired girl with the blue-haired boy. I know they're
>from Team Rocket, I just know it!" he spoke in a whisper,
JOEL: (waiter) And the blue-haired boy ate all of the food at the salad bar!
SERVO: James needs to learn to curb his appetite.
>but Jesse
>and James were experts on eavesdropping. They quietly got up and
>began to excuse themselves from the restaurant. Then the police came
>into the room. They had the whole place surrounded. Rough hands
>caught Jesse and James around the wrists. as they were being carried
>off, James finally got his courage up and did a back kick on the
>officer where the sun don't shine.
ALL: Oooo!
CROW: (James) Hey, dammit, I was the highest paying customer you ever had!
ANGIE: (waiter) He's right! Oh darn, I screwed up again, didn't I?
>James got away from the officer,
>and James pulled out his friend who made three profound statements,
ALL: OH MY GOD!
ANGIE: --gag!--
SERVO: Those statements? "I'm large and in charge, so get used to it!"
ANGIE: (punches Servo in the dome) No!
>and although three people had died,
CROW: Presumedly, from shock of James' action.
>he missed the man who held Jesse,
>but there was no going back now. After all, in Team Rocket you were
>taught to look out for yourself. So James merely watched Jesse be
>taken away to jail from his rooftop perch. He cried, but only for a
>short while.
JOEL: (James, sobbing) She has my wallet!
>Then he went back to headquarters to report the
>happenings to the boss.
>"Well James. I am sorry. You and Meowth will continue on your own
>until our little 'problem' has been solved.
SERVO: (Giovanni) Oh, and James, no pulling out your friend when in trouble.
ANGIE: (punches him again)
>I can't tell you how long
>it'll take. I don't really know. We'll just have to wait it out. You
>are dismissed."
>>Jesse spent three years in the slammer for her crimes.
ANGIE: (Jessie) Alls I did was EAT, though!
CROW: (officer) Yes, but you ate your meat with your SALAD fork!
>She was blamed
>for more crimes then she had actually committed, for she paid for all
>of Team Rocket's crimes. When she was released, she was a hardened
>criminal.
JOEL: The tattoo on her arm said "Susie," and James wondered what all that was about.
>She continued on with James, but everyone could tell that
>she sort of blamed James for it.
SERVO: Well, if he used his friend to take out his cops and not Jessie's, I would be mad, too.
>She took it out on him by always
>beating on him. Now you know the whole story behind Jesse's meanness.
>That brings us up to the day that she and James went after Pikachu
>for the first time. And now we'll go back to after Jesse's horrible
>nightmare.
ANGIE: That's all! For now . . .
(she picks up Servo and they all stand and start to exit)
SERVO: (chuckling) Friend . . .
(Angie drops Servo on the ground and walks out without him)
SERVO: Hey!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Angie sat at the desk, leaning on her arm with a pleased smile on her face. Crow was standing behind her and brushing out her hair, just because she asked him nicely to. Servo and Gypsy sat in front of her, and they all stared at Joel, who was sitting in the center. They were playing twenty questions.
"Is it a vegetable?" Angie asked in a low voice, sighing in content.
"No," Joel answered coolly.
"Uhhh . . ." Crow paused in his brushing. "Is it a mineral?"
"No."
"Is it organic?" Servo asked.
"Yes."
"Richard Basehart?" Gypsy inquired.
"No."
"Oh."
"Is it, some kind of plant?" Angie asked.
"No."
"So, it's animal?" Crow asked.
"Yes."
"Mammal?" Gypsy guessed.
"Uh-huh."
"Human?" Angie queried.
"Yeah."
Everyone was silent for a second, except for the sound of the brush going through Angie's hair. Then, Servo giggled, and asked, "Is it your 'friend?' Heheheh--"
--CRASH!!!--
Angie had kicked the small 'Bot across the room.
"No," Joel answered with the same cool-headedness as before.
"Movie star?" Gypsy continued.
"Yes."
"Richard Basehart?"
"No . . ."
Down in Deep 13:
The lights were all off again, and nothing could be seen, but Dr. Forrester could be heard saying, "Frank? Frank?! Did you blow another fuse? What'd you do, leave a potato in the microwave again?"
Frank didn't respond, but a strange "r-r-r-r-r" sound began.
"Frank~" Dr. F called, apprehension building in his voice.
The lights that had frightened Joel and the others before flickered into sight, the illumination showing some of Dr. F, who, at first, wasn't frightened of the lights, until they began to approach him at an alarming speed. The lights ran him over, and his screams of terror gurgled to a halt when the lights stopped moving.
Soon, the lights in Deep 13 were clicked back on and TV's Frank entered the room. He stared at the box of lights, and down at Dr. F, and he muttered, "Oops . . ."
He stepped over the mad scientist and he reached for the button. Before pushing it, he wondered, "How'm I going to clean up THIS mess?"
--foosh!--
______________________________________________________________________________
I'm sorry about my "Friend" jokes. That just shocked me when I saw it, and I like to drag things like that out. So, I apologize to anyone who was offended. (Snicker~friend)
Some of my riffs were kinda vague, so I'll quickly explain two of them.
The "KAPOW!!! Ouch!" joke is from a stupid little short I watched about molecules and atoms when in science. There were these stupid cartoons, and as the narrator spoke of sodium and how it explodes in water, he says, "Now, do you want to eat THAT?" And a still-frame cartoon pops up of a man being blown apart with the sound effect "Kapow!" and he is merely saying, "Ouch!" I laughed and laughed. His stomach's exploding and all he can say is OUCH? Hahahahaha! Well, it was funny to me. (Plus, you hafta see the lame pix.)
And the dream that Servo described, with the amputees and such. That was truly a dream I had, only it was me with my cousin Angie, then she went off to ride the horses and I was with Maelstrom and my little brother, who was older than he should be, in the valley. It was a freaky dream . . . Austin Powers wanted to know why I didn't like amputation. And when I awoke to go to Drivers' Ed., I had the tune to "Robot Hell" in my head, that's how I remembered the dream vividly. I'm insane, aren't I?
And here's a bunch o' quotes from Dexter's "EGO TRIP," which was so totally cool. (I'll save the really long one for later. Heheheheh.)
ADULT Dexter: (frightened) I'm TYPING, I'm TYPING! ...........
Young DEXTER: What are you doing?
ADULT: I'm TYPING . . .
HERO Dexter: I'd like to take this moment to pat myselves on the back.
VILLAIN Mandark: Dexter? With Dexter, Dexter and Dexter?!
HERO: Now it's just you, me, me, me and me!
Young MANDARK: No! I've always wanted the core!
EXECUTIVE Mandark: No! I stole the core!
VILLAIN: No! The core is mine!
BRAIN Mandark: No! Just because I'm bitter and jealous!
______________________________________________________________________________
James got away from the officer, and James pulled out his friend who made three profound statements,
© 1999, Jaimielée Rocket and Maelstrom
(Next "week's" episode:
"Episode Fifteen: "Episode Fifteen: Nightbird,
Kasey Meets her Role Model!
And Cleo is STILL of No Use")