Quotes by Not-So-Famous People
(a.k.a. my friends)
1999

La la la la, I forgot my words. -Tori

My estrogen put me over the top. -Lora

"I hate milk with ice in it."
"I hate people who come up and drink out of MY glass and then complain about how I fix MY drink."
-Kaye, Dad

If you can't find something you like there, then you should just die. -Me

Friday plus ten is not Thursday. -Me

I love quotes, in case you didn't know.
Yes, based on observation and examination, I have come to that junction.
-Me, Josh

I don't think the word "mojo" is anywhere in the Bible. -Me

I, personally, don't like to get schmoochems in front of large hordes of drunken gypsies. -Me

If you would have done that at the beginning of school it wouldn't have been cool. But if you did it now, well, come to think of it . . . it wouldn't be cool now, either. -Me

Look, it's Kelly, Sarah, and I heart my cat! -Me

No offense or anything, but you don't look like Tinky Winky. -Me

She's not the sharpest crayon in the Crayola box. -Me

Well, she's got a few things to do, so we have time to look for sex in the clouds if you want to. -Me

You just waltz in, be loud, take gum, I SEE HOW IT IS!! -Me

"How To Be Your Own Veterinarian" - that's a good book to have: how to kill your own horse. -Dad

If a gnat farts in Poland, someone in Nashville is kin to them. -Dad

Well, we're fixin' to leave. We should be here when you get back, and if we're not here then, we'll be back later. If we're not back later, we'll be back sometime. If we're not back sometime we'll be back eventually. If we're not back eventually, then you just enjoy the place. -Dad

He's gonna go to the bathroom, while I change fonts, I think I'll laugh out loud. -Katie C

I just want to marry him, have sex with him for a week and then die. -Katie C

I don't like numbers. They are eeeevil. -Amanda D

My car sounds like a diesel truck. There's one behind me, that's why. -Amanda D

You scared me so bad, my toe hurts! -Amanda D

Not all women are anesthetically pleasing. -Eli

Screw you with an "F"! -Eli

Oh, good lord! What just happened? -Chris D, in a very matron-like tone

Ugh! Ewwww! This stuff is awful! It has a nasty aftertaste! This is killer! . . . Hey, gimme some more. -Chris D, after tasting grape-flavored dental floss

It's a blue cock!
My blue cock is headless. -Meagon, Eli

The great thing about theatre people is that they make us music people look normal. -Dr. Farnsley

Eric, I know you think I'm going to hell, but I'm NOT. -Erica

Even though he is the spawn of satan, this snake is a wonderful example of texture. -Erica

I just burped and it tasted like Tequila and chicken noodle soup. -Erica

It's okay. I read Cosmo. -Erica

My keyboard is nasty. You have been putting nast in my keyboard, haven't you? -Erica

Oh my god! There's the boy I want to have sex with! Hey, do you care if we, like, wreck so he'll have to stop? -Erica

Talk to the girl on the bed! Talk to the girl on the bed! -Erica

No offense. God made dirt and dirt don't hurt. -Jason H

All god's children need powder. -Beth

Stop having sex with me! Quit it! -She wants to remain anonymous

Maybe it's my ignorance and maybe it's my innocence, but what is Parcheesi?
It's a board game.
No, really, what is it?
-Jae, Erica, Jae

Cows in a huddle means tomorrow's a puddle. -Sage farming advice from Valentine

Everyone thinks everyone else is hard to figure out because they are not themselves. -Valentine

Everything we say is a quote, acutally. Because we're just cool like that. Valentine

I know what happy smells like. -Valentine

So i was all forlorn and lonesome in the corner talking to the fraternity boys... -Valentine

You breathe funny. (giggle giggle giggle)-Valentine

You! You took my stall! . . . Oh, cursed day! -Valentine

You're not people! You're my friend! -Valentine

If I had it, I would. -Jimmy, really drunk, trying to explain to Erica and I that if he had not dropped out of school, he would have papers to do also.

I wish I could be where I was before I came here. -Eric

I'm going to make a friend named "Aaaaaaaa Aaa". -Eric

Of course a boat goes faster than a rock. -Eric

Ooooooh, neat! -Eric, as the Prince in Cinderella, picking up Cinderella's imaginary shoe

So he says to me, "Shut up, Stephen" and that was my first clue. -Eric

The louder I am the MORE LOGICAL I AM!! -Eric

That's a prince of a different color.-Leslie

For a driver, you sure are cocky.
For a manager, you sure are dumb.
-Bob, Doug

Life is short. Don't be a dick. -Bob's bumper sticker

Look like you're in love! I'M NOT SAYING YOU HAVE TO SLEEP WITH YOUR PARTNER. JUST LOOK AT THEM LIKE YOU WANT TO! -Dr. Menefee

God planted pot. Or else he wouldn't want us to drink it . . . or eat it . . . or smoke it. -She wants to remain anonymous

Whack, whack, whack. You have to appreciate it when I do it because I make sound effects. -TJ

I don't like candy. But if I did I think I would like Reeces Pieces. There is no logic attatched to this. -Shawna

BREATH! You illiterate fuck! -Luke (The Stary, Scary, Evil Boy of Death)

The volleyball courts are calling my name. They're saying, "Brandon . . . Brandon . . . come and tromp on us!" -Brandon

You! You wicked, evil person! You die and go to hell, you piece of shit! -apparently the way Zach greets his friends