Your mama's a hot chick with a tight ass. -Travis
You know what I've found? I've found I make a really good crumb tray. -Melissa B
Goat cheese is good for the soul. Tangerinians say so!
What??
Goat cheese is something that no one really cares for, but they eat it anyway. So are certain grammatical justifications. Thus, goat cheese. Tangerine is an Island off the coast of Maryland where people who still speak Old English live. Thus, they are our nemesis.
Katie, Me, Katie
MAAAAHHHH TOE TOE IS DOOOOOOOD! -Katie B
You're kidding right? Of ALLL the things you would quote me on, "Mah toe toe is dood" had to be the one you chose?! -Katie B
Sara cooked, mostly.
Oh. Well, it's good, mostly.
-Kaye, Dad
Abstinance makes the head grow weaker. -Me
Are you laughing at me?
No . . . of course I am.
-Me, Tracy
Dad, you're not supposed to mop the butter churner. -Me
Hello random lesbian. I am all slutted up. -Me
I don't even look like jesus; she has blonde hair. -Me
I know it's longer, but it's shorter. -Me
I miss Tonya.
If you listen carefully, you'll probably hear her.
-Me, T.J.
I think he's a secret exhibitionist. -Me
I've touched seven guys in the last minute! -Me
Melissa can be our....fuck. -Me
Only Eric spits when he blows. -Me
Rachel's puking! Peer pressure, peer pressure! -Me
RUN UP!! One of the perks of this job is you get to yell a lot. -Me
That should be in the brochure, "Cumberland, you can be on crack and it's ok". -Me
They don't sell shampoo at On-Cue or the liquor store. -Me
T.J., show Amanda what you got! -Me
Where are my shorts? No, wait, my pants! -Me
Yes, bananas come from cows, duh. -Me
You're high. You can do it. -Me
You're like a thermometer stuck on low. -Me
You are going to do wonders for my site. -Annie
If you are in the vicinity of a black hole, I don't think you'd be running a space program. -My astronomy teacher
You can talk amongst yourselves about the universe. -My astronomy professor
Are you guys in the back back now? We are going to the universe. -My astronomy professor
The floppy part? -Alison
BILLY GRAHAM SUCKS! -Philip
Is my head an isosoles triangle?
Yes.
-Philip, Tonya
What's my name?
Bitch.
-Philip, Jessi
You bummy bummy bum bum bum bum ba ba ba ba ba ba ba boo boo boo be be be ba ba ba ba. -Philip
I can't wait for the day when I'm considered "not ass". -Jessi
Mister Key Signature is very unhappy. -Dr. Farnsley
This was an interesting article on how forensics could be used to link victims in one or more different murders to one murderer by examining the signatures used by the murderer in the different murders. -John
Why can't you be quiet when we cheat? -John
I'm going to lean on you now because I'm drunk. You know that song "Lean On Me"? You should sing that now. -Rachel
It's like 2nd Avenue, only better.
Yeah, only there's no old people or tourists.
Rachel, Me (forgetting that WE were tourists)
Look at her handwriting. You can tell when she's drunk and when she's not. -Rachel
No! God, no! We don't have boyfriends! -Rachel
Oh my god, I do have a knot on my forehead! -Rachel
This is going about as fast as a turtle shit. -Rob
Am I [drunk] or do I have a big forehead? -Brian
I feel like fucking Mr. T. -Brian
I may be white, but I'm not a chair. -Alicia
It's so cold, poor little [girl]'s fat roll just about froze off! -Tonya
Look, I found the socks that I mopped up beer with the other night. -Tonya
What would you do without me?
I would stink and be hairy.
-Tonya, Sara
You have to consumate twice. -Tonya
I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for the stupid fuckers in my life! -Leslie
Jumbo jets are sexy. -Leslie
Yay! Now I have something to snort my cocaine with *snort*. -Leslie
This is very much completely wrong. -My music theory teacher
I really am smart, even if I don't seem like it. *Burp* -Josh
Of all the things you have to be proud of, this takes the taco. -Josh
There are downs and ups to the placement of the fucking hula man..if it faces you, that will be grand. You can see it move and dance around and do its little hula man errands. If it faces outside, others may see your hula man, and its true magnificance. You have to balance and weight both alternatives to the placement of the hula man using the scientific method, using unbias, and your conclusion may be falsifiable..the placement of the hula man is up to you. Man has faced many grave and important decisions, but the placement of the hula man is by far the most important...'NEWS FLASH' 'The world is inevitably coming to an end, but more important news first..'SARA CANT FIGURE OUT WHICH FUCKING WAY TO PLACE HER HULA MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' -Josh
It's the year 2000 and we don't even have floating cars! -Chris O
Are you going to open or are you going to wait for me to DIE? -Amanda P
Random people!
Suck my cock!
-Amanda, random guy
Are you drink yet? -Melissa P
I'll show some boobs! I'll show Tonya's! -Melissa P
Move the chips; I'm gonna dance! -Melissa P
Everyone should do a "T.J. Check" every time they enter a room. And if there's no T.J. there, they should be sad. -T.J.
I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but she's really stupid. -T.J.
I wish I were drunker. Of course, that state would be death. -T.J.
I'm not accusing anybody of anything, but does anybody know where the button of my shorts went? -T.J.
Son of a WHORE! -T.J.
Yep, that's upside-down as hell. -T.J.
HOLY COW TURDS!!! WHAT THE HELL!!! -Shawna
Come on Cookie Monster! Open the fucking door! -Random guy in Americana room 206
This tree is very oaky! -Ryan
For New Year's Eve? I think I'm going to get myself a soda and drink it as fast as I can. -Some guy on Channel 4's Speaker's Corner
Ok, now I want some coconut monkey love! -Some guy on the radio
I didn't invent sex. I just perfected it.
Is that you, Brad?
No, that's a keychain.
-Brad, Me, Brad
I didn't say a question I thought it. -Brad
I have no balls. -Brad
Weed free-that's me! -Brad
Who made bananas? -Brad
You know what I hate? I hate sand in my ass crack. -Brad
Good deal, Lucille. -Stacy
I ain't queer; I'm drunk. -Stacy
I want to get more fucked up than a soup sandwhich. -Stacy
It's ok-we're kin. -The Woodards
That's why I'm out here taking goddamn pictures of security guards. -Woody
You look like Reading Rainbow dude on Star Trek. -Woody
I don't wanna get engrossed in any more of your trivial conversation ploys that will cause me to lose sufficient seconds needed for me to accomplish my homework goal. -Dave
