62 Fun Things To Do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
3. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
4. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
5. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
6. 52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
7. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
8. Start playing Calvinball (or football, soccer,etc.); see how many people you can get to join in.
9. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the air fresheners.
10. Challenge all the other customers to duels with tubes of giftwrap.
11. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
12. Re-dress the manequins as you see fit.
13. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin, narrow isles.
14. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
15. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes up to "10".
16. Play with the automatic doors.
17. Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embaressment.
18. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"
19. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
20. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
21. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
22. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
23. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
24. Put M&M's on layaway.
25. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
26. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
27. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
28. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
29. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
30. TP as much of the store as possible.
31. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
32. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
33. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
34. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone."
35. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover!"
36. Make up a nonsense product and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock. i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
37. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joe vs. the X-Men.
38. Take bets on the battle described above.
39. Nonchalantly "test"the brushes and combs in Cosmetics
40. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible
41. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
42. Dart around suspiciously while himming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
43. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
44. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
45. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
46. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
47. Two words: "Marco Polo".
48. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
49. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
50. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
52. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
53. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
54. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
55. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
56. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screamingand having convulsions.
57. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
58. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!
59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
60. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
61. Stuff pairs of underwear and socks into pants pockets, mens sports coats, etc. (I've done this one!)
62. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.