- "A" is for academics, "B" is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're
nothere. So leave a message.
-
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends,
you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
-
(Narrator's voice:) There HC sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the
telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of
toilet paper, with HC in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at
incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort
is in vain.
-
The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
-
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
-
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
-
WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll
assimilate you later.
-
Hi! Joy's answering machine is broken. This is her refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets.
-
Hello, this is Norma's toaster. Norma's new answering machine is in the shop
for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done...
(Cachunk!)
-
(Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message,
please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please
press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your
number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star,
press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If
you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star
twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and (BEEP)
-
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name
and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's
word is "supercilious."
-
*Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know
who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
-
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid
talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help
me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
-
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for
Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP
-
(Rod Sterling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world
without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You
see a signpost up ahead-this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You
have reached, "The Twilight Phone".
-
Thank you for calling the Metropolitan Church of the Holy Bible.
Today's commandment is Number 6, Thou shalt not... er... Bear a... er...Shalt
not witness thy... uh... Neighbor's, Oh, I mean, false... er... Shalt not
commit a bear... Darn...
-
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the
phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm
doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess
it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is
so confusing.
-
(Recorded directly from AT&T:) The number you have reached, 226-0477,
has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
-
You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice
patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once
this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice
for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no
charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional
extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the
benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment.
Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
-
(Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK.
-
You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message
after the beep.
-
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die
before I wake, Remember to erase the tape.
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