This is Camara here! We thought it'd be a good idea to find SOME use for Butch, so we made this phone line! That's right! Now, you can get advice from the one and only Butch! All you have to do is pick up the phone and dial 1-800-Butch4U! Got a problem? Butch can help you! Got a question? Butch knows the answer! So send him your questions today at 1-800-Butch4U! He'd love to get them! *prods Butch with a cattle prod, who is tied to a chair, chained to a phone* Isn't that right, Butch? Butch: Arrrghhh!!! Damn you, Crystal Dawn Phoenix!!! Damn you straight to hell!Our first caller!!!Goldie asks: Hey, Butch... who does your hair?Butch: Oh, do you like it? It's Clarol Natural Instincts, color 42, Mountain Turquoise. Camara asks: What's up with your voice, Butch? It sounds like you gargle with aquarium gravel every morning instead of Listerine.Butch: What are you implying? Hey, just because I was the Marlboro man for two years does NOT mean I have a smoking problem! *coughing* Hey, Cass! Bring me my unflitered menthols!Kika asks: Butch, what would happen if an unstoppable force were to collide with an immovable object?Butch: Well, the kinetic energy of the object in motion would be transferred to the immovable object, which would have no momentum, as expressed in the equation MuoVuoi + MimVimi = MuoVuof + MimVimf, causing an inelastic collision.... either that, or noise. Big noise.Haunter asks: Hey, who smokes more crack: Cassidy, or your Drowzee?Butch: Cassidy smokes more, but if you take into account the Drowzee's size, it smokes more in proportion to her. Novella asks: Butch, boxers or briefs?Butch: Thong.(from the other room)Crystal Dawn: More than we wanted to know, Butch!Cat asks: Is it true that Crack Whore Cassidy and you enjoy D&S? B&D? Are you a masicist or a sadist? Butch: Well, actually, I'm more of a sadist, myself. Although Cassidy's kinda into B&D.(from another room) Crystal Dawn: WAY more than we wanted to know, Butch!!!LaDy LuNa RoCkEt asks: WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU COPY JESSIE AND JAMES' MOTTO!?!?!? And why did you copy James' hair style?Butch: We didn't copy either of them! We stole them outright!LaDy LuNa RoCkEt replies: Stealing, eh? This won't look good with the boss! *Runs toward Headquarters laughing evilly. * Bwahahahahahahaha! Thanks for the dirt on ya! Butch: D'oh! (thinking) Wait... Team Rocket's a group dedicated to stealing Pokemon... ummm... (is confused. Hurts himself in his confusion. Crystal Dawn, Kika, Camara, and Goldie laugh* Sforzie asks: Butch, I like your hair, and your voice isn't too annoying...but, why are you wearing Cassidy's shoes? (That would be in reference to the pic at the top of the page. Sorry, I'm a bad bad person..::giggle::)Butch: I am? (looks down) I am!!! (cries) Oh, God! Does that make me a crossdresser!?! Now I'm just like James! (tortured sobbing)The next three questions are together due to their similar natures.Chibi Jackie asks: Hi Butch! Chibi Jackie here. Do you have a crush on Cass and if so, at a given chance would you tell her how you feel?the Team Rocket Twin asks: So you and Cassidy an item??? And, how can you stand your own voice, i mean I wanna punch a hole thru my television every time I hear it,It makes me wanna rip my ears off...Oh, and I think your motto sucks compared to Jessie and James'... ((prod him once for me!!)) Meercat asks: Hey Butch, your voice isn't that bad it's unique and interesting. You're also cool not to metion cute. Anyway is it true that you and Cassidy are an item like the Neoshippers say you are?Butch: Me and Cass? (turns red) Well, I... that is... I think... maybe we should... I guess that... that is... umm... (faints)Camara: I almost forgot! (gives comatose Butch another shock from the cattle prod, yet he remains in shock)Meowth Mix asks: Hey...if (according to you and Cassidy) Jessie and James are so stupid than how'd you get tricked by the tweerps with there pikachu and sent to prision (also because of the tweerps)? Heeheehee! Got you there, didn't I!Butch: That has nothing to do with it! (laughter from other room) It doesn't! It was just that punk's unbelievable good luck, that's all! (more laughter from other room) Why are you all laughing at me! (more laughter) It's not funny! I swear it's the truth! Stop laughing at me! Stop it!!!Amanda asks: Why is it that James gets all the fame INSTEAD of you?Butch: I guess it just goes to show that the Yaoi community extends a little farther than anyone thought... Crystal Dawn, Goldie, and Camara: JAMES IS NOT GAY! (Crystal Dawn throws a brick at Butch and hits him square in the back of the head)Rosie Q asks: Hi Butch! My sis won't give me her pikachu plush toy, thus i havta steal it from her. Any tips? Butch: Well, I'd have to go with the ol' "Drowzee on Crack" plan. Whatcha do is, you take a Drowzee, give it lots o' crack, and then have it hypnotise that Pokemon! That way, you can have that Pikachu and whatever other Pokemon you want to steal!Rumika48 asks:Yo, Butch, you're cute, but you can't compare to James. And my question is for Cassidy: Is it true you have a crush on James, cause it is the biggest net rumor. And Butch, you like Jess, or what, cause if you do James would mop the floor with you!Butch: Ack! Jesse? No way! That chick scares me! Cassidy: (walks in, reads question) Me? Like James? Nah, he's too femmy for my tastes. (reads rest of letter) Jesse!?! That stuck up, inferior piece of gutter trash!?! (whacks Butch on head with a rolling pin) You'd better NOT have a crush on that little bimbo!Butch: Why not!?! It's not like we're going out or anything! (blushes)Cassidy: Well... that is... I mean... (blushes, walks out, leaving Butch chained to phone) Butch: Dammit! Cassidy, come back! Help me!Anna asks: Hi, it's Anna. I have 3 questions for Butch. 1. What's your favorite Pokemon? 2. You and Cassidy's uniforms are (obviously) very different from Jesse and James. Does that mean you out-rank them or they out-rank you? 3. What did you do to James' Victreebel? He left it in YOUR breeding center, and when you evolved it, it started trying to eat his head! You and Cassidy did something to turn it against James, I know you did!Butch: My favorite Pokemon is my Drowzee! It can smoke more crack than me and Cassidy combined at times! As for me and Cassidy's uniforms, that's top secret Rocket business. But you could just attribute it to our killer fashion sense! And as for James' Victreebell... You'd be amazed what a hit o' that ol' crack pipe will do!Rai, Sailor Moon, the Sailor Scouts, and Chibi Jackie ask: Hi Butch! I gotta question for ya! All of my friends (including Chibi Jackie, I'm using her computer) think you're pretty cool, your voice isn't annoying, it's unique, and you're kinda cute! And Lita's gotta huge crush on ya (He looks like my old boyfriend.....-Lita) Anyways, why don't you just admit that you love Cassidy!? Serena- Yeah! admit it! Kissy-Face!!! Mina- I gotta agree! Ami- Me too! Oh, and Crystal Dawn? Chibi Jackie says 'Be nice to Butch, he's been a good boy!' (Lita- *drool*)Butch: Me..? And... Cass... Well... that is... I mean... (faints again, turning very red. Crystal Dawn walks in and reads letter)Crystal Dawn: Me, nice? Never! (takes cattle prod from Camara and shocks him again for good measure)Blaze Rocket asks: Yo! Um, ok. I heard that the Boss was gonna have your vocal cords removed, but doesn't have the mony at the moment. Do you know where we can donate to this worthy cause so that the TV waves can be free of your voice? I mean, yer a great villin, but GOOD LORD your VOICE!!Butch: Hey! (Camara pushes him out of the way, interjecting)Camara: Just send any and all donations to the Lighthouse, P.O. Box 4242, Viridian City! We'll take anything! Money, socks, precious metals and stones, first born children, ANYTHING! Please donate generously and frequently! And thanks for asking!Lady Auryn asks: Why do you scare my poor baby puppy?!?!?! She cries every time you talk!!Butch: Stupid dog. It's not my fault it can't appreciate vocal talent like mine! (Camara whacks him)Camara: That is NOT talent! It's just plain scary!Molly asks: Butch, it's Molly here, uhh... what kind of unfiltered menthols DO you smoke, I;m trying to go for that sexy voice thing too! Hugs and Kises Molly!Butch: Well, I usually just take the filters off the Menthol Marlboros I get. But if I'm broke, I can roll my own cigarettes from Bugler tobacco! Either way, I get all that full bodied tobacco flavor! (Crystal Dawn, Goldie, Kika, and Camara run in and cover his mouth)Crystal Dawn: You moron! Are you trying to get us sued!?!Goldie: You know how they're cracking down on those cigarette promoting cartoon characters! Kika: They'll take us for all we're worth!Crystal Dawn: Errrm, that's right, kids! Cigarettes are BAD for you! Don't smoke or you'll end up like Butch here! And no one wants to be like Butch, right? Right!!! So don't start smoking!The preceeding public service announcement was paid for by the Public Health Bureau of Viridian City.Sapphire_Rose asks: Hiya Butch! I'm gonna ask you 4 questions, 1. Have you seen all the "Butch and Cassidy Must die!" pages? 2. Have you ever thought about quitting smoking? 3. Do you *like*, like, Cassidy? 4. Do you do your own hair? It looks good!Butch: Eehhh, yeah, I've seen those pages. hehehe. We flamed Crystal Dawn REAL good for hers.Crystal Dawn (from another room): "Suck, you do... page hate ugly no kill." Who the hell sent me this? Yoda?Butch: And as for quitting smoking... why should I? But just so you know, I can quit anytime I want! Goldie, Kika, and Camara (from another room) Yeah right!Butch: Of course my hair looks good! I do it myself! And the question about Cassidy... urrrm... ehhh... that is... Hey! Didn't I already answer a few of those?Arijanian asks: Arijanian here, Butch, and I have three questions. 1) How did you manage to get all these fan sites and recognition even though you've only been in one (count 'em- one) episode I can think of? I have *got* to talk to your agent! 2) What's with the knife and headband? I mean, isn't running amok with a kris in your teeth supposed to be saved for those plagued by sudden insanity or employed as desert marauders? 3) Hey! You're not really chained up! In fact, you look like you're enjoying yourself! (See the header pic.) So either express your emotions better, or quit whining!Butch: Hey! I've been in two episodes! And some people out there obviously recognize true genius and talent when they see it, unlike that James clown. I think "Why are there so many James shrines?" is a better question! What a loser. (Camara comes in and shocks him with the cattle prod again) Camara: Hey! No James bashing!Butch: And as for the knife, I've only got that cause the pulse rifle I stole from Haunter wouldn't fit in my mouth. And they DO have me chained up! Crystal Dawn only put that pic up so people wouldn't think she was cruel for chaining me up!!! (Crystal Dawn and Haunter walk in, Haunter's eyes glowing red)Crystal Dawn: HE'S the one that stole your pulse rifle, Haunter-sama! (Haunter beats the living bejeezus outta Butch and takes his pulse rifle back) And I'm not cruel at all! (cute smile)Haunter: Yeah, and that picture was taken when Butch was filling in for Cassidy in a "1-800-hotmama" session.Laura asks: this is Cassidy.WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU,BUTCH!!I AM STUCK WITH JESSE AND JAMES HERE,AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS READ YOUR FAN MAIL (CALLS) GOSH,WHAT A JERK.Butch: (cries) But I'm chained up here! They're so mean to me! Come get me out!Camara: Stop yer whinin'!(cattle prods him again) That's all for now! Call Butch with your questions! He'd love to hear from you! Right, Butch? *shocks him with the cattle prod again*Butch: Damn you all to hell!!!
