Disclaimer: I hate writing these disclaimer things. I really, REALLY do. Grrrrr..... I don't care if any of these characters belong to me or not! I'm writing with them anyway! If you own any of them, good for you! Sue me or get over it!

Bishojo Senshi Sailor Comet

Act I

Episode 4

Café au Lait

Koji-chan aseru! Musa-chan hatsu date?

Koji-chan upset! Musa-chan's first date?

Malachite appeared before his queen. She was not particularly happy with him at the moment. "What do you plan to do about these two Sailor Nuisances, Malachite? Speak quickly. My patience is wearing thin," Queen Beryl snapped, glaring at her most accomplished general.

"Don't worry, m'queen," Malachite began, desperately trying to appease Queen Beryl, "I captured the original five Scouts for you. These two new ones should be no problem!"

"They had better not be," she said, looking no happier. "Now," she continued, "Tell me of your latest plan to find the Silver Crystal."

"It seems that one of those Scouts posses the crystal," Malachite began, "Every time one of my minions senses the crystal, those two show up."

"Go on," the queen said expectantly.

"Coffee houses are popular with young people their age. As we speak, my servant Cafferina is preparing to overtake one. We're sure to draw one, if not both, of them in," Malachite said, hoping for a favorable reaction from Beryl.

"You may proceed, Malachite," she said nodding. He bowed his head.

"Thank you, my liege," he responded respectfully before disappearing. A black-haired man stepped from the shadows that filled the room. His black armor gleamed with what little light it could catch.

"Prince Darien," Queen Beryl stated, looking squarely at the tall fellow. He bowed his head in respect for his queen.

"Queen Beryl," he began, lifting his head, "May I ask why I have not been included in Malachite's latest missions?" He trained his gaze on the queen. The queen smiled wickedly.

"Such ambition!", Beryl happily exclaimed, " Prince, Malachite has more experience than you do. Also, when you faced the five original Sailor Scouts, they knew you as Tuxedo Mask. You had an advantage because they trusted you. These two new Scouts have never even seen you." Darien looked disappointed. "No, Prince, you would do better to remain here and continue your training."

"Yes, my queen," he said, bowing and backing away into the darkness.

**************************************************

Luna stretched. She was laying in a patch of sunlight on the porch of the Cherry Hill Temple. It was a particularly warm autumn day, and she was enjoying it by taking a catnap. She purred contentedly, not noticing two shadows hovering above her. Suddenly, she felt two human hands lift her into the air, waking her up. One of the hands began to rub her under the chin, the other supported her weight.

"Good kitty," James said as he petted Luna. She was confused for a second; what interest did James have in her? He looked down past her to the floor of the porch. "Are you sure you can understand what she means when she meows?", he asked.

"Of course," Meowth answered confidently, "Just ask her what you want to know." He looked up to his partner in crime. James seemed to blush a little. He raised the black cat to his eye level.

"Purr-reow?" Luna meowed inquisitively, playing along with whatever these two were trying to get at. James looked around to make sure no one else was there to hear him. He looked back to the cat he was holding.

"So, uhm, Luna," he started nervously, still a little unsure of Luna's name. "You're with Jesse all the time now, aren't you?", James asked, waiting on a response from the little cat.

"Re-eow," Luna answered. James looked down at Meowth expectantly. Meowth looked bored.

"She says 'yeah'," he said, uninterested.

James turned his attention back to Luna. "So, umm, does Jesse ever, you know, talk to you about me?", he asked, maybe a little more enthusiastically than he should have. Meowth rolled his eyes.

"Me-e-ow. Prrrow! Eo-o-ow," she replied, realizing that he had a crush on his partner. If she hadn't been in front of these two, she might have laughed. James looked enthusiastically at Meowth.

Meowth tried to fight back a grin. "She says, 'Yeah'," he began. James' face lit up. "'Jesse says you crossdress a lot'," he said, almost snickering. James raised an eyebrow and glared down at Meowth.

"It's all in the line of duty!", he yelled down at the pokemon. Meowth kept trying to fight back the laughter as James turned his attention back to Luna. She was secretly satisfied with the little bit of trouble she was causing these schemers. "All right," he said, regaining his composure, "Has Jesse ever told you, uhhh, well, has she ever said how she feels about me?" Luna tilted her head, trying to think of an "appropriate" response.

"Re-e-eow," she said, satisfied with the response she had given. James looked down at Meowth, more expectant than ever.

"What'd she say, Meowth? Tell me!", he said, watching the cat. Meowth got another amused look on his face.

"'With her hands'," he replied smarmily. James sighed. This was obviously not getting him very far. He thought it best to just cut to the chase. He looked back at the black cat in his hands.

"Well," James began, "Has she ever said if, uhh, well, you know, errr, umm, that is...." His voice trailed off and he looked to the ground shyly. "Has she ever said if she wants to... you know... go out with me?", he said, not looking either Meowth or Luna directly in the eyes. Luna's eyes danced with mischief. This was going to be good.

"Prrr-ow... Meow, eow. Reo-o-ow. Prrrrr-e-e-e-ow," she said, looking directly at Meowth. The cat pokemon looked at her with wide eyes for a second. He blinked. Then he proceeded to roll around on the porch, holding his sides, laughing.

"Pudding!?!", he asked between fits of giggles. James glared at him. Meowth just kept rolling on the porch, incapacitated by the laughter.

"Luna!", a voice cried out from across the grounds. James and Meowth straightened up and looked in the direction the voice came from. Luna jumped from James' hands and ran to the owner of the voice. "There you are! It's about time! I've been looking all over the place for you!", Jesse said, irritated. She wasn't wearing the temple robes like James was. Instead, she wore a tight white sweater with a small red "R" embroidered on the left hand side, and a pair of white jeans with short, black, high-heeled boots. She carried a small newspaper clipping in her right hand. "Come on. Let's go," she commanded the cat.

"Where are you going, Jesse?", James asked, admiring her appearance. He made a mental note to try and get her to wear this outfit more often. Jesse scooped up the black cat and looked at him.

"I'm going out to a coffee house," she began, handing James the clipping, "I wanted to treat myself since I made a little extra money in tips here. Everything at that café is half-priced this weekend." She pointed to the clipping James was studying.

"Café au Lait?", he asked, reading from the paper. 'Maybe I could take Jesse here for a date,' he thought. He pictured them sitting at a little table on a starlit patio, sipping from the same cup using two straws.

"That's right," Jesse said, interrupting his daydream, "I'm going by myself. As in, with no one else around. Alone. I'm going to enjoy myself, by myself. Understand?", she said, glaring.

"B-but," he stuttered, "Don't you want me to come along? Or Meowth?" James looked hurt. Jesse continued glaring at him.

"No, I don't," she said, cooly, "I'm with you two ALL the time. Don't you think I might want to do SOMETHING by myself, other than bathe?" James looked down, not wanting to meet Jesse's irritated gaze. "Well," she said, turning and beginning to walk away, "I'm going. I have to catch a bus - that café's in the Shibuya district and I don't feel like walking there. I'll be back in an hour or two." She ran down the steps to the street and out of sight, as James stared. He looked thoughtful for a second and then shadows began to come over his face. Meowth noticed his partner's now angry expression. The pokemon looked startled for a moment. James was usually so happy-go-lucky. It was more like him to cry because Jesse had said something mean to him. But now he looked angry, maybe even... jealous? Meowth shook his head.

"What's da matter?", he asked, looking up at James, who now had his fists balled up.

"There's only one reason she could want to go alone," James said unhappily, "She must be meeting someone! Jesse must have a date!"

'Yup,' Meowth thought, 'He's jealous.' Meowth looked back up to his human partner. "So whadda ya plan t' do about it?", he asked suspiciously. It was obvious that James was forming a plan. That kind of scared Meowth.

James held up the newspaper clipping in his left hand. "We're going to follow her," he said wickedly. Meowth grinned.

"Goin' t' check out th' competition, huh?", he said slyly. James took the pokemon by the arm and ran into the temple with him.

"We need disguises!", James said as he and Meowth disappeared into the temple.

They came back out about ten minutes later. James was wearing pantyhose underneath a blue skirt that came just above his knees. His blouse was white, and he had blue pumps on to match the skirt. He had taken time to apply a little mascara to his eyes, and a little lip gloss to his mouth. He topped it all off with a black patent leather handbag. He looked just like he'd intended to - female. He held a leash and on the other end of it walked an annoyed Meowth on all fours. "Thought it was 'all in the line of duty'," Meowth spat out. He was obviously peeved at James over something.

"It is!", James snapped back. Meowth thought it was pretty funny listening to James use such a male voice with such female attire. "I'm just very concerned about Jesse's welfare, that's all," he said, sticking his nose in the air.

"Why do I hafta wear dis stupid leash?", Meowth asked, irritated. "It's degrading. It's not like I'm yer pet or anything," he said, glaring at James. James took the piece of newspaper clipping out of the purse and looked at it.

"It's all part of the disguise," he said, studying the clipping, "You know, people don't usually walk around with their pokemon out of their balls. And if they keep them as pets, they usually keep them on leashes." Meowth continued to glare at him as he replaced the paper back into the purse.

"You like ta rub it in, don'cha?", Meowth said sarcastically.

"Come on, let's go," James said, "If we hurry, we won't be too far behind her." He started for the steps.

"Good afternoon, young lady!", a familiar voice came from behind James and Meowth, "Welcome to the Cherry Hill Temple! I can show you around if you like," Gramps Hino said, lechery shining in his eyes at the sight of a pretty "girl". James, on the other hand, looked more than a little uncomfortable with the unwanted attention the old man was paying him. Meowth was trying hard not to laugh at the embarrassing situation.

"Uhm," James said, using his best "girly" voice, "That's okay, Mister. I've got to go!" With that, he turned on his heel and fled down the steps to the nearest bus stop, dragging Meowth along by the leash. Gramps just stared as he watched them go.

"Kids today," he said.

******************************************************

In a dark store room, a brown-haired lady stood alone. Her blue suit looked very professional, and her gold name tag suggested that she was an important person of some sort. Her navy blue pumps clicked as she walked to the back of the store room. She made her way past boxes marked "napkins", and "mugs", and stopped at the back wall. A cold chill swept across the room. She turned around, jostling the french twist she had made of her brown hair. Where she had walked moments before, a new figure stood. "Lord Malachite," she said, bowing her head slightly.

"Preparations are going as planned, I assume," Malachite said, folding his arms across his chest. The lady in the suit smiled evilly and looked at Malachite.

"Of course, sir," she replied, "All the drinks have had the charm you requested put on them. Whenever we sense the crystal, the charm will be activated and whoever's had anything to drink will pass out. Then the crystal's ours for the taking." The lady let a glimmer cross her brown eyes. "We've already had a ton of business this morning," she continued, "but unfortunately, those Sailors either don't have the crystal, or haven't shown up." She looked a little discouraged at the last remark.

"Not to worry, Cafferina," Malachite said confidently, "These two Scouts are more gullible than the last five. Drawing them in should be no problem at all. Eventually, they'll walk right into our trap." And with that, the general disappeared, leaving his minion to carry out their plan. Her high-heeled shoes clicked on the floor as she left the room and shut the door behind her.

****************************************************

"You were a little hard on him, weren't you?", Luna said into Jesse's ear. They had already left the bus and were making their way down the busy streets of the Shibuya district. There were bustling crowds everywhere, but Luna was sure that no one would notice her voice if she kept it low and in Jesse's ear. Everyone was either too noisy or too preoccupied to notice the little black cat.

"I was not!", Jesse argued, not wanting to admit she was ever anything less than perfect, "I just wanted to spend a day by myself, is all. I wouldn't have even taken you along if I was sure I wouldn't run into one of those monsters! AND," she continued, "if I'd have brought James along, he'd have just bummed money off of me. He doesn't wait on enough people at the temple to make anything in tips, you know." The cat smirked.

"Ah, that's it," Luna commented, "You just want to treat yourself because you finally made some honest money!" Jesse scrunched her face up.

"What's that supposed to mean?", she asked, quickly losing her patience. She glared at the cat perched on her shoulder as best she could.

"Nothing," the cat replied nonchalantly, "But, you know, everything in that café is half-priced today. You could have afforded to bring him along." Jesse's eyebrows shot up.

"What are you getting at, Luna?", Jesse asked suspiciously. Luna shifted uncomfortably on her shoulder. Jesse stopped walking. "Are you trying to set me up with James?", she asked, taking the cat off her shoulders and holding her at arm's length and eye level. Jesse didn't sound very happy. Luna looked around and noticed people were starting to stare. Jesse began to notice, too. She placed the cat back on her shoulder and quickly walked down the street. "We'll deal with this later," she hissed, not looking very happy with Luna as she spotted the café. "Here it is," she said, eyeing the café's outdoor patio where customers were happily sipping their drinks in the warm autumn sun. "I want to sit out there," she said, making her way to the door of the establishment. She stepped through the doors and heard the sound of soft music playing and people quietly talking . She looked around a foyer that didn't hold much besides a sign that read, "Please wait to be seated." However, before she could wonder where she was supposed to sit or order, a server in a "French maid" outfit and a little Jigglypuff in a black leather jacket appeared before her.

"Hi! Welcome to Café au Lait!", the perky little waitress said, "My name is Crystal Dawn, this is my Jigglypuff, Psychopuff, and we'll be your hostesses this afternoon! Would you like to sit in 'smoking', 'non-smoking', at the coffee bar, or on the patio?" The waitress wore a green maid uniform and had short, wavy auburn hair with a white streak down the side of her bangs. She was smiling, maybe a little too much, and she seemed hyper, probably from too much caffeine.

"At the patio, please," Jesse said, watching as the hostess turned and went down a hall that branched out from the left side of the foyer.

"This way, please!", she chirped, leading Jesse and Luna to a set of glass patio doors. "Here you are! Just wait here, and one of us will be here in a second to seat you and take your order, okay?" The waitress and the odd pokemon scurried back down the hall before Jesse had time to answer.

"Um, okay," Jesse said, looking after the hyper waitress' hasty retreat. Jesse glanced out through the glass doors onto the patio. She could see a few happy couples chatting away, some business lunches, and at a table near the back... "THEM!?!" Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu, Togepi, and Artemis were at a table with a large umbrella over it to keep away the sun. Ash was drinking a cup of tea, as were Pikachu and Togepi. Brock was drinking a cup of hot coffee. Artemis drank a saucer of half-n-half that Misty had poured for him from the little sealed condiment cups that were served with the coffee. Misty, herself, drank nothing; instead, she munched on a crepe. Meanwhile, inside, Jesse groaned. Then she looked as if she'd been struck by an idea. "I could steal that Pikachu without a hitch right now if I had the right disguise," she said absentmindedly.

Luna looked up at her, confused. "I thought you were on vacation," she protested. Jesse simply studied the waitress that attended their table. She had long blond hair, wore a blue "French maid" outfit, and was being helped by a Chansey. The pink pokemon appeared to be carrying a chainsaw around in one hand for no apparent reason and napkins and straws in the other. The Chansey happily sang its name as it handed out napkins and straws.

"It doesn't matter," Jesse said quickly, looking down at Luna, "We've been trying to catch that Pikachu forever! I'm not going to let a perfect opportunity like this slip through my fingers! I just..." Jesse looked into her purse. "Hmm.... Nurse. No. Police Officer. No. Circus clown. No. Arrgghhh! I don't have the right outfit with me!", she said, rummaging through the contents of the purse.

"Well," Luna said absentmindedly, "If it were Sailor Business, you could use the Luna Pin to change..." She stopped abruptly, realizing what she was saying. Jesse looked down at her, wide eyed.

"What did you just say?", Jesse said, bending down and picking Luna up. Luna got a worried expression on her face.

"Umm, nothing," Luna said nervously.

"What's a 'Luna Pen'?", Jesse asked, holding Luna at eye level.

"Well," Luna started nervously, "It's a disguise pen that the Sailor Scouts can use to transform into whatever outfit they want." Luna continued to look nervous. She knew what was coming next.

"Give it to me!", Jesse snapped quickly.

"I can't," Luna said.

"Why not!?!", Jesse said, shaking the cat.

"You can't use it to do something wrong!", Luna exclaimed. Jesse stopped shaking her. "If you try to do something wrong with it, the disguise will fail!", Luna continued. Jesse looked disappointed as she let the cat fall to the floor. Luna landed gracefully.

Jesse sighed. "Well, I guess you're right," she conceded, "But it still would've been a great joke, waiting on them without them even knowing it." The tone of Jesse's voice made Luna feel a little sympathetic.

"Well," Luna said hesitantly, "I suppose I could..." Jesse's eyes lit up.

"You mean it!?!", Jesse said excitedly. "I can use the pen thingie?", she said happily.

"ONLY if you just use it for a joke!", Luna said desperately. "Remember! This is only a 'test-run'! I'm only letting you have it because you might need to know how to use it later!" Luna jumped into the air and produced the Luna Pen. Jesse caught it in midair.

"How do I use it?", Jesse asked, eyeing the pen carefully. Luna looked up at her.

"Hold it in the air and say, 'Disguise Power!' Then say what you want to become," Luna said, hoping that Jesse kept her word. 'Nah,' she thought, 'I shouldn't worry. If she tries anything, the disguise will fail. She won't be able to pull anything.'

'Wow,' Jesse thought, 'If I could just figure out how to use this thing to steal pokemon! I wouldn't have to lug all those costumes around! James and I could rule the world!' Jesse held the pen in the air. "Disguise Power!", she said, looking around to be sure that no one else was listening, "Turn me into a hot 'Café au Lait' waitress, like these other girls!" Suddenly, instead of the white outfit she had been wearing, she was dressed in a (rather low cut) pink "French maid" outfit, complete with high heels and fishnet stockings. "Wow!", Jesse said, inspecting her new outfit, "It really worked! Oh, I wish Shooting Star could see me now!" Jesse giggled, trying not to trip in the incredibly high heeled shoes.

"Me and my big mouth," Luna mumbled. Jesse picked her up off the floor and looked out onto the patio. Jesse opened the patio door and stepped outside. She let Luna fall to the floor again. The blue-clad waitress with the Chansey had gone to wait on another table. Jesse stepped confidently up to the "pests'" table.

"Hi! My name's Je - err -Jennifer!", Jesse said, hoping her "save" at the last moment had convinced the kids, "Can I refill anyone's drinks or get anyone anything?", she said cheerfully. Misty and Artemis looked up, surprised. Artemis jumped onto Misty's shoulder and whispered in her ear. Jesse watched as Misty stifled laughter. Artemis could obviously see through the Luna Pen's disguise. Ash and Pikachu looked up from their tea. Jesse happened to be standing right next to Brock, and she didn't notice that her bosom was squarely in his face. Brock immediately noticed Jesse's low cut pink dress and began staring uncontrollably.

"M-m-miss!", Brock stuttered, his face turning red, "You could give me your phone number!" Brock produced a notepad and a pen and held them out to Jesse. Jesse, in turn, got an annoyed look on her face. Luna looked up from the floor and thought for a second that Jesse might have an aneurism. Jesse, on the other hand, produced her mallet.

"Why you little male chauvinist....", Jesse said, pounding Brock repeatedly in the head with the mallet, "You womanizing.... Jerk!" She finally tired of beating him with the mallet and disposed of it. Misty and Artemis could barely contain their laughter. Ash and Pikachu stared, stunned.

"Wow," Ash said breathlessly, "She reminds me of someone. I just can't figure out who." Pikachu looked on in awe.

"Pi - ka," Pikachu said, nodding in agreement.

"I always kinda figured someone would do that to Brock one of these days," Ash said. Pikachu nodded its assent again. Brock twitched a little. He was laying flat on his face on the table. But he hadn't spilled any of his coffee. Jesse noticed Pikachu and remembered why she had wanted to come to their table in the first place.

'Maybe Luna was just bluffing me,' she thought, picking up Pikachu, 'Besides, Team Rocket never keeps their word!' She gave Pikachu a hug. "What an adorable little Pikachu!", she said, scratching it between its ears, "I hope you don't mind me holding it." Pikachu looked happy with getting its head scratched. Misty and Artemis stopped snickering and watched Jesse to see what she would do. Jesse happened to turn her head toward the patio doors. She saw the blond waitress welcoming a lady with purple hair and a blue skirt. The waitress seated the purple-haired lady and her Meowth at a small table off to her left. Jesse blinked. 'James!?!', she thought, carefully studying the lady's features, 'Why would I be surprised if he followed me?' Jesse then looked as if she were struck with an idea. 'I can't resist!', she thought with glee, dropping the Pikachu back onto the table. "Here you go!", she said backing away toward James' table, "If you need anything, just let me know!" She moved away from their table and started for James', before she noticed that the blond haired waitress was already attending to him. Her eyes flashed with jealousy for a moment. 'Who does this...girl... think she is, waiting on my James!?!', she thought, balling her hands into fists.

'I can see jealousy rearing its ugly head again,' Luna thought, watching Jesse's expression get more and more irritated. Luna thought Jesse'd have an aneurism for sure this time.

"My name is Sforzie, and I'll be your waitress today!", the blonde said to the "lady" she was waiting on. "What can I get you to drink today?", she said, smiling.

"Chansey!", her Chansey said, plopping napkins and straws onto the table in front of the customer and "her" Meowth.

"Just some Earl Grey tea, thanks," the "lady" said, "And a cup for my pokemon, too. He loves the stuff!" Meowth rubbed his paws together and looked expectant.

"Sure thing!", Sforzie said, smiling, "Be back in a flash!" Sforzie went back through the patio door with her Chansey in tow. The "lady" turned to "her" Meowth.

"Have you seen Jesse anywhere around here?", James whispered to Meowth in a decidedly male voice. Meowth shook his head.

"I looked all through the restaurant before that waitress led us out here," Meowth whispered back, "She's nowhere around." James' face grew dark again. Meowth could tell that wasn't what he wanted to hear.

James could see it. He imagined Jesse stepping into a cab and driving off with some strange man, and he imagined them getting out at the stranger's apartment and walking in to do God-knows-what. He still looked angry when Jesse intercepted Sforzie at the patio doors, taking two cups of tea from her.

"Here, I'll take that table," Jesse said, smiling, "You can go wait on your other tables." Sforzie looked puzzled for a second.

"Okay," she said. Sforzie went to wait on some other tables and Jesse gingerly went over to James' table with Luna in tow. James still had an angry look about him when a cup of tea plopped onto the table in front of him.

"Hi! I'll be your waitress now," Jesse said, smiling mischievously. James' head snapped up at the sound of her voice.

"Jesse?", he said, forgetting to use his "girly" voice. Jesse almost laughed. "Oh, I mean," he began, remembering to use the "girly" voice this time, "Oh, you're not her." He couldn't see through the Luna Pen disguise like Artemis could. He looked disappointed and began to sip the tea. Jesse sat Meowth's tea down in front of him and he immediately began to chug it down happily.

"Can I get you anything to snack on?", Jesse asked, bending down to James' eye level. At the mention of food, he perked up a bit. He turned to face Jesse, but, like Brock, found himself staring straight into her cleavage. James blinked.

"Uhmm," he said, this time using the "girly" voice, "Do you have any... Umm... Steak?" The new waitress got an irritated look on her face as she realized that the customer was speaking directly at her chest.

"No," Jesse said, bored, "Cafes don't serve things like that. Cafes serve finger foods and things like..." She stopped and noticed that he was still staring at her chest. Meowth watched as she smacked James over the head. "Stop that!", she hissed, "Now, is there anything else you'd like?" James flinched and looked up at her face. Meowth almost spit his tea out through his nose, trying not to laugh.

"Well," James said, still using the "girly" voice, "Uhmm..." He was trying hard not to look at her chest anymore. Really. But it was right there! And not only did she look just like Jesse, she hit like her, too. "Do you have any... um... soft-boiled eggs?", he said, hoping that the waitress didn't notice him sneaking another look.

"Grrrrr...." She noticed. Jesse pulled out her mallet, ready to administer another beating. However, before she could make her strike, an odd thing happened. James and Meowth's heads hit the table. Jesse looked around the patio and noticed that everyone else had passed out as well. Even Sforzie and her Chansey were slumped over in the floor.

"Jesse, what's going on?", an unsure voice asked from behind Jesse. She turned around to see Misty, with Artemis perched on her shoulder.

'Well, not everyone passed out,' Jesse thought, shrugging.

"This looks like the Negaverse!", Artemis said, confidently.

"You'd be right about that, kitty cat," a voice came from the patio door. The two girls and two cats turned to see who had just addressed them. In the doorway stood a tall woman with brown hair drawn into a French twist. She was wearing a blue suit with a gold name tag.

Jesse, being the most brash of the group, decided to address the woman first. "I demand to know what you think you're doing!", she screamed, balling up her fists, "Who do you think you are, making James pass out like that!?!" Artemis and Luna looked embarrassed. Misty smirked.

"So you admit you like him?", Misty said teasingly. Jesse hit her over the head.

"It's not like I know anyone else here, is it?", she said, glaring. Misty tried to hold back her laughter. The lady at the door stood looking bored.

"What about Shooting Star?", Misty said, still trying to tease Jesse, "Don't you like him anymore?"

"Of course I do, you dolt!", Jesse said, infuriated, "I never said I like James! Stop laughing! Stop it!" Misty was guffawing by now.

"Ahem," the lady at the door said, clearing her throat, "This is all fascinating, but you have the Imperium Silver Crystal, Red. I want it now." Jesse pointed to herself.

"You mean me?", she asked innocently, "How many times do I have to tell you people? I don't have your stupid crystal. I've never even seen the thing! If I did have the thing, I'd give it to you, just to keep from having to put up with you!" The lady in the blue suit rolled her eyes.

"Then I suppose we're going to have to do this the hard way," she said, sighing. Suddenly, she started shining a bright white light. When the light faded, the lady in the blue suit was gone, and in her place stood a brown skinned creature that had a tea cup for a skirt and two smaller tea cups for a top.

"Hurry," Luna said, "Get your friends some cover! We need Sailor Scouts!" Misty nodded and began putting the guys she had been sitting with under their table. Since all the tables had floor length tablecloths, it wasn't hard to hide them.

"Stop bossing me around, Luna!", Jesse screeched, stuffing James under his table. She was using her foot to try and shove him under the tablecloth. She finally succeeded in getting him covered safely and threw Meowth under the table to join him. She plunked the tablecloth back into place and turned to face the coffee-creature. She produced her transformation wand and held it in the air. "Comet Power!", she said. Ribbons and sparks and light shot out of the top of the wand and suddenly Jesse was Sailor Comet.

"Oh, yeah, right!", Misty said, producing her own wand. "Nereid Power!", she shouted, holding the wand in the air. Bubbles and ribbons flew out the top of the wand. Sailor Nereid stood where Misty had been. The monster yawned.

"Are you done yet?", Cafferina asked, bored.

"Not by a long shot, twerp!", Comet screeched, pointing at the monster, "Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!", Nereid shouted, stepping up to stand beside Sailor Comet.

"To protect our world from the Negaverse!", Comet yelled. The monster began filing its nails.

"To place their evil under our curse!", Nereid said.

"To defend the values of all us girls!", Comet cried. Luna began to make a gagging noise.

'That part's even lamer than some of the stuff Sailor Moon used to spout!', Luna thought.

"To protect the people in our world!", Nereid proclaimed.

"Sailor Comet!", Comet yelled, turning and posing.

"Sailor Nereid!", Nereid yelled, not to be outdone in the posing department.

"Get ready for defeat," Comet began. She pointed at the bored monster.

"And a lot of pain, too!" Nereid finished the line, drawing a gloved hand up to her face.

"In the name of our world, we will punish you!", the two Sailors finished in unison. The monster still looked incredibly bored.

"NOW are you done?", Cafferina asked, putting away her nail file.

Sailor Comet looked at Sailor Nereid. Comet shrugged. "Yeah, I guess," she said.

"Finally!", Cafferina shouted, "Now, have some coffee!" The monster shot a stream of hot coffee from her fingertips. The two Scouts broke their poses and dodged the scalding liquid. Cafferina didn't look very pleased that she had missed and aimed for the smaller Scout. Nereid saw it coming, but didn't have time to move.

"Comet Ekans Bind!" A glowing snake wrapped around Nereid's body and jerked her out of the way just in time. The monster's blast ended up melting a few chairs, but luckily avoided any customers. "Ha ha!", Comet said smugly, "Another fabulous save by the beautiful, talented, lovely, charming, gorgeous, perfect Sailor Scout - me." Nereid rolled her eyes and prepared to attack the monster.

Nereid brought her arms up over her head. "Nereid..." Her ponytail clasp began to glow. "Staryu..." She brought her hands down over her chest, keeping the light from the clasp within them. "Tackle!" A star-shaped blast of light flew at the monster, scoring a direct hit against its forehead. The creature reeled for a second before standing straight up and glowering at the two Scouts.

"So you think you're pretty hot stuff, huh?", Cafferina growled, aiming at the Scouts, "Well, how's this for hot!?!" She fired another stream of scalding hot coffee at the girls. They both screamed as they went rolling.

"I think she got my leg!", Nereid screamed, clutching her left leg. It looked to be in pretty bad shape.

"I think I'm fine," Comet shouted back. She tried to stand up, but her leg collapsed out from under her. "Ahh!", she shrieked in pain, "No! I've turned my ankle! Do something, Nereid!" The monster stepped closer to Comet.

"What am I supposed to do!?!" Nereid cried, "You just sprained your ankle! She got my whole leg!!!" The monster stepped closer to Comet and smiled wickedly.

"Just give me the crystal, Red," Cafferina said mockingly, "Give me the crystal and I'll leave you in one piece." Comet glared at her.

"What makes you think I have the lousy thing in the first place!?!", Comet shouted angrily. The monster grinned evilly.

"I know you have it," Cafferina replied confidently, "When you entered the building, the homing crystal went off." She held up the black crystal, which was glimmering actively, and took another step toward Sailor Comet. She pointed her hand at Comet, ready to fire more coffee at her. Comet screamed at the top of her lungs. Underneath a nearby table, Luna covered her ears with her paws. The monster fired. Luna lifted her head up.

"Oh, no," Luna whispered, "The screaming's stopped. Sailor Comet!" Luna ran out from under the table. She looked frantically for the Scout, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Star Fire Blast!" Luna watched a blast of light slash across the monster's face. Then she turned to where the light had come from. Standing on top of one of the tables, cradling a curled up Sailor Comet in his arms, Shooting Star smiled. Luna breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you okay?", Shooting Star asked. Comet slowly opened her eyes, realizing who was holding her. A broad grin spread across her face, as she wrapped her arms around Star.

"Oh, I am now!", Comet said, putting Star in a "death-grip." The monster looked nowhere near as thrilled as she began to aim again. She fired and Star jumped from the table and landed on the patio deck. He gently laid Sailor Comet down and shielded them both with his cape. Comet, on the other hand, was looking rather irritated at the monster. As she glanced around, she happened to notice that they had landed close to where Sforzie and her chainsaw-bearing Chansey had collapsed. 'Ah hah!', Comet thought with a mischievous grin spreading across her face. Her hand shot out and began prying the Chansey off its possession. She grabbed the chainsaw and revved it up. 'It's pretty heavy, but I think I can manage,' she thought as she dragged herself into an awkward standing position. The ankle still hurt, but now that she was prepared for it, she was better able to adjust to it. The monster watched her now with some interest. She began to run with a hobble toward the stunned monster. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!", she said, giving an "ow" for each step she took. Comet lifted the chainsaw and struck the monster across the neck, turning it into a cloud of dust. Comet let the chainsaw fly out of her hands and strike the outside wall of the café, as she fell to her knees.

"Sailor Comet!", Shooting Star said, running over to help her. He picked her up off the ground and held her steady for a moment as she came back to her senses. Her eyes grew wide as she looked over his shoulder to see the black crystal fly into some familiar hands.

"Malachite!", Comet gasped. This guy just really gave her the creeps. Star turned to face the white haired general, holding his cape up in front of Sailor Comet, like a shield. Malachite grinned wickedly.

"Don't think your little boyfriend there can protect you," Malachite snarled, "He didn't fare too well the last time I fought him. Did you, boy?" Star gave a snarl in return. Comet simply looked puzzled.

'Last time?', she thought, confused.

"Don't worry, little princess," Malachite continued in a patronizing voice, "Now that I know you have the crystal, I'll get it sooner or later." His laughter lingered after he had disappeared.

"Sailor Comet!", Nereid called from her place on the deck, "Help me, over here!" Comet turned to glare at her. Couldn't she see that she was busy? Comet glanced at Nereid's leg and realized that it was pretty bad.

"Why not?", she sighed, "Wanna help me, Shooting Star?" She turned back to where Star had been standing. He had vanished. Again. Comet turned back to Nereid. "See what you did!?!", she screamed, "You scared him off again! If I didn't think I'd get killed, I'd ditch you and go solo!" She stalked over to where Nereid lay and helped her up, letting her lean on her. "And if I didn't think you'd squeal on me for being a Sailor Scout, I'd leave you here!", Comet fumed.

"I still think that guy looks an awful lot like James," Nereid said in her most teasing voice. This only made Comet more irritated.

"No way," she hissed, "James' crossdressing butt is stuffed under that table over there!" Nereid stifled a snicker.

"I dunno," Nereid said, "They're still real similar." Comet growled. As they hobbled toward the door, however, two men came out onto the patio. One wore an assistant manager's name tag and had a Raichu following him. The other wore a manager's name tag and a black cape. He had a Haunter following him. They immediately noticed the two Scouts.

"Say, Haunter," the assistant said, addressing the manager and not his pokemon, "Those two look like Sailor Scouts!" The customers on the patio began to come to. Haunter studied the two girls as they hobbled closer to the door.

"It looks like there was a fight out here, Kilrai," Haunter said, addressing the assistant. The girls just looked on in confusion at the manager with the black cape. Since he wasn't attacking them, they just began to assume the cape was a fashion statement. Kilrai walked right up to the limping Scouts.

"Hey, I guess they really are Sailor Scouts," he said in awe, "I thought they had all got killed or captured or something." The Scouts simply stood there looking confused. "Say, you two haven't heard anything from Sailor Jupiter, have you? She was always my favorite," Kilrai asked expectantly. The two Scouts shook their heads.

"We've never met her," Nereid said. Kilrai looked disappointed.

"But if we find her anytime soon, we'll let her know she's got a fan," Comet said, trying to get out the door. Instead, Crystal Dawn and Psychopuff came through the door. So Comet decided to ask one more question. "And - uh - Why is your manager wearing that cape?", she asked, looking from Crystal Dawn to Kilrai. Crystal Dawn shrugged.

"He just started wearing it a month ago," she said nonchalantly.

"We think it has something to do with Star Wars, but no one is sure," Kilrai said, shrugging as well. Comet and Nereid smiled and edged their way closer to the door. Luckily for them, Sforzie began to stir and drew everyone's attention. Finally, the two Sailor Scouts made it through the door with their cats in tow.

"Has anyone seen that Inspector lady?", Haunter asked, addressing his employees. They all shook their heads. Crystal Dawn helped Sforzie up and Psychopuff helped the Chansey pull its chainsaw out of the wall. "Well," he said, "Since we can't find her, I guess we can assume we passed that inspection, whatever it was."

"I didn't like her," Sforzie said, "She was just creepy. And that blue suit of her's was tacky."

"I didn't like the way she had her hair," Crystal Dawn added, "That French twist was way out of style." Sforzie nodded.

"Well," Haunter began again, "Kilrai, you go call the Boss and tell him we passed whatever inspection that was."

"Do I have to?", Kilrai asked wearily, "I don't think Mr. Giovanni likes me." His Raichu nodded in assent.

"It won't kill you," Haunter said, moving back through the door, "And I have paperwork to do." Kilrai shrugged, defeated.

*****************************************************

Jesse walked through the patio doors with Luna on her shoulder. She glanced to her left. Sure enough, there sat James, in full drag, with Meowth. They were both sipping cups of tea, Meowth looking decidedly happier than his human companion. She started over for the table with a little limp in her step. "Might as well go sit with them since they're already here," Jesse whispered to Luna. Luna smirked. Jesse walked right up to the table without James noticing. She pulled an empty chair away from the table and sat down. "This seat taken?", she asked, snapping James out of his reverie.

"Jesse!", he said, looking up happily, "Where have you been? I've been worried!" Luna jumped from Jesse's shoulder and landed on the table.

"Errr," Jesse said, trying to think up an appropriate response, "Um, I got on the wrong bus." She hoped that excuse went over. She needn't have worried. James' eyes lit up.

"So you weren't on a date?", he asked happily. Jesse got a bored expression on her face.

"Now if I didn't want you to come," Jesse began irritably, "Why would I invite someone else to go with me?" She plopped her head down on her arms, which rested on the table. For some reason that she couldn't even begin to fathom, James seemed to look even happier. "Garcon!" she called. Sforzie and her Chansey appeared. "A cup of whatever 'she's' having, please," Jesse said.

"Sure," Sforzie said as her Chansey plopped a few napkins and straws down in front of Jesse. The waitress and her pokemon then went to get Jesse's tea. Meowth turned his attention to Luna.

"Say, hon," he began, trying to sound smooth, "Why don't you an' me share a bowl o' milk?" Luna hissed and jumped off the table, into Jesse's lap. Meowth shrugged. "I don't understand females," he said weakly, going back to his tea.

End Episode 4