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The Ghetto Rocket Action Figures!

The humble origin of the Ghetto Rocket dolls: Okay, you're probably asking - Where in the Hell did you people think up this twisted stuff? The answer is simple. One day, Haunter and myself (that'd be Crystal Dawn, folks) were sitting around wondering why James could eat so much and stay so thin. Innocent enough, yes? And it turned into this. These are our action figures - really warped, Pulp-Fiction-esque versions of Pokemon characters. We sorta began figuring that maybe Team Rocket is actually an international drug cartel... Well, that among other things... Don't ask why there here or what we were thinking - that only leads to insanity. So, here's what you came for - the doll collection!



I want a doughnut... no, make it Maui Wowie...
The "Pothead James" doll
"Drug Dealer Meowth"'s biggest customer. Comes with a cute little purple bong, glassy red eyes, and a paranoid expression!
told ya this was weird...

Meowth, dat's right... Fool!
The "Drug Dealer Meowth" doll
One of "Kingpin Giovanni"'s top pushers. Comes with pants 12 sizes too big and a pager!

Pay up, James... or else...
The "Gang War Jesse" figure
"Drug Dealer Meowth"'s hired enforcer. She spends most of her days beating up on James because he's too broke to pay the cat. When she's not doing that, she's fighting Prof. Oak's gang for pushing in Meowth's territory. Comes with black leather jacket, billy club, and authentic "pull a bazooka outta nowhere" action! *Bazooka sold seperately*

I gotcher 'Love Power' right here!!!
The "Pimpin' Ain't Easy Butch" doll
Pimps for "Kingpin Giovanni". His main ho is "Crack Whore Cassidy". Known to drive a lime-green Pimpmobile with pink shag carpet on the ceiling. *Butch's Pimpmobile sold seperately* Says 8 different 'pimp-tastic' phrases in his 'unique' voice, such as "All aboard the ho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o train!!!", "I will turn her out!", "I got'cher 'Love Power' right here!", and "Cassidy, where are my unfiltered menthols!?!"

10 dallah, me love you long time...
The "Crack Whore Cassidy" doll
Ho's for "Pimpin' Ain't Easy Butch" to support her crack habit. Comes with crack pipe and says 8 authentic 'ho' phrases, such as "Two dollah suckie suckie!", "Me love you long time!", and "I look much bettah in this haltah top than Jesse ever would!!!"

Stop, in the name of the Rocket!!!
The "Dishonest Officer Jenny" doll
Officially on "Kingpin Giovanni"'s payroll. When gang wars break out, or a Rocket gets busted, she's been known to look the other way for a small sum. Comes with standard issue handgun, Rocket badge, and blank check from "Kingpin Giovanni"!

Evil, wrapped up in such attractive packages... O_o
The "Gun Runner Haunter and Crystal Dawn" dolls
Each sold seperately. Haunter comes with flowing black cape tm., "Ruger Super Redhawk 12 inch custom", glowing red eyes, and authentic annoying voice! When you push the button on his back, he may or may not say anything! And he also may start talking for no reason whatsoever! Crystal Dawn comes with "Phoenix" outfit, two jugs of tea, a "Desert Eagle" handgun chambered for a .44 magnum, and real sympathy generating puppy dog eyes! After two blinks, no one can resist her!

Funny part is, I didn't have to change this picture at all... O_o
The "Kingpin Giovanni" doll
Leads the Team Rocket international drug cartel. Comes with Persian, chair, uzi, and real "Punish the lackeys" action! *Giovanni's Torture Chamber and black Limousene sold seperately* Just think of the hours of fun you can have torturing incompetent lackeys in the torture chamber! (And Team Rocket certainly seems to have plenty around...o.O) It's good to be king.

And then there's the rival gang... The Poke Gang!!!

*hiccup*
The "Alcoholic Bum Ash" doll
Trys to push drugs, but usually only succeeds through sheer dumb luck. Comes with two bottles of Jack Daniels, flies, and nifty "elbow exercising action"!

I'll look the other way.... for a 'small' fee!
The "Crooked Cop Brock" doll
Hunts Team Rocket members in hopes of either confiscating their stash and selling it himself, or getting a bribe to look the other way. Leaves Oak's boys alone for a small fee from the Prof. Comes with billy club, bag of weed, and real "stick hand out action"!

Of course I won't tell! Why do you ask?
The "Misty the Narc" doll
Usually works with "Crooked Cop Brock" in hopes of incriminating Rockets and splitting the profits with him. Comes with nifty red jacket and says 8 authentic 'narc-eriffic' phrases, such as "No, I won't tell.", "Yeah, he's the one with the stuff.", and "Hey, Brock, how do ya roll this thing?"

Piiiiii-kaaaaaa.... X_x
The "Heroin Addict Pikachu" doll
Strung out Pikachu doll! Comes with syringe, spoon, and real "withdrawl" action!

I'll just dispose of this properly...
The "Rehab Nurse Joy" doll
Works in the rehab clinc. Steals the patients' stashes and sells them for a profit. Comes with cigarettes, stash of weed, and bottles of prescription medicine! *Chanseys with Chainsaws sold seperately*

*insert Ron Jeremy musak -here*
The "Porn Star Joy" doll
"Rehab Nurse Joy"'s cousin. "Director Todd" directed her in her first film, "Stripper Nurses" starring Ron Jeremy. Comes with the ever-present bag of weed, copy of "Stripper Nurses", and authentic "Fake moaning voice" heard by all porn stars in all porn films ever made! *Chanseys with Vibrators sold seperately*

hehehehe... Hey, baby...
The "Director Todd" doll
Directs some of the biggest porn stars in the business. Discovered starletts such as Duplica, Laura Larimee, and Sabrina! Comes equipped with video camera!

Oh, my god, they killed Togepi! You bastards!!!
The "Ghetto Omlet Togepi" doll
Uh oh. Looks like "Pothead James" got the munchies.

Honey, did you change your underwear?
The "Ash's Mom, the Crack Whore" doll
"Big Daddy Oak"'s favorite crack ho! Comes with crack pipe and says 8 real "annoying mother" phrases, such as "Don't forget your underwear!", "Don't forget to change your underwear everyday!", and "Did you change your underwear today?"

Yo, G, Whussup?
The "Big Daddy Oak" doll
"Kingpin Giovanni"'s rival gang leader. Comes with black shades, a hit list, a Sig Sauer P210 handgun, black lab coat, and "forget your own grandson" action!


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