Jen, Frank, and Athena come into the Rambles laughing about something or other. They immediately stop and look around in shock. Rufus, the Turks, and yes, even Sephiroth are tied up and sitting on the floor.
Frank: What in the world is going on?!
Reno: *scoots across the floor* Mmmmhmf!
Athena: At least whoever did it had enough sense to gag Reno.
Jen: *walks forward and takes the gag out of Rufus' mouth* Okay Rufus, what happened?
Rufus: *snaps* Some crazy loon in a clown costume ambushed us!
Jen: !! And I thought you might actually give me a half way intellegent answer. I think you're losing it.
Rufus: *indingantly* I am not losing my marbles! A clown did tie us up! And his laugh...*shudders* It was worse than Heideggers!
Frank: Let me just take the gags out of everyone's mouth...except for Reno's.
Reno: Fmphk!
Athena: *ponders* A clown...with a crazy laugh...you know, that could be-
????: Uwa ha ha! It was I!
All (except for the gagged Reno): KEFKA!?
Kekfa: Yes, it is I. The evilist villian in Final Fantasy history and proud owner of Tomorrow Never Dies: A Final Fantasy Web Site.
Frank: *whispers to Jen and Athena* Talk about self promotion...
Jen: Why tie them up?
Kekfa: To prove that I am more eviler than Sephiroth. And just look at your mighty Sephiroth now...all tied up! Uwa ha ha!
Sephiroth: *rolls eyes* What a keen wit.
Frank: So, what is it you want?
Kekfa: ?? Hmmm...I haven't got that far yet.
Sephiroth: And he calls himself a villian? I think not.
Athena: Well while Kefka ponders that, I'll just untie everyone. *unties everyone*
Kefka: *stamps his feet* It isn't fair!
Elena: What isn't fair, you-
Rude: *clamps his hand over Elena's mouth* It is best not to incite him any further.
Kefka: I don't know what I want!
Rufus: How about a face full of lead?
Kefka: *blinks* Noooo....are you threatening me?
Sephiroth: *smacks self in head* My, this one is quick.
Reno: *pushes Kefka aside* WHO is that??
Jen: What? *turns to look at the doorway*
Kekfa: *shoves Reno back* That is your daughter, you dunce. So quit drooling! She's only seven! Sheesh!
Reno: WHAT?! No way I have kid! And she's only seven??
Kekfa: *sighs loudly* I will not waste my valuable time explaining this to you. Just know that you have a daughter with Elena.
Elena: *squeeks* Me?
Reno: *bursts out laughing* No way!
Ramza: Who are all these people?
Everyone: Fr-Je-Ath-Ruf-Tse-you know-that's-of course-
Ramza: One at a time!
Jen: Me first! I'm Jen. I'm a fanfic author like Kefka.
Frank: *shoves Athena out of the way* I'm Frank. I write fanfics too.
Athena: *punches Frank in the shoulder* I'm Athena. I write fanfics too.
Ramza: Who's that black haired man?
Tseng: I am Tseng, Leader of the Turks.
Ramza: But...you're dead.
Tseng: What?! *grabs Rude by the lapels of his jacket* What does she mean, I'm dead?!
Rude: ............
Tseng: *seeing Rude is not going to be any help, shoves him aside and attacks the next person* Seph, what does she mean?!
Sephiroth: *sweatdrops* Uh..I killed you. So you do not show up in many fanfics.
Tseng: Thanks a lot! *storms off to Seph's couch and sits on it to pout*
Kefka: H-e-y! Don't ignore me! I need to tell you what I want!
Ramza: Kefka? You're supposed to be defeated.
Kekfa: I can't be defeated. If I was then you wouldn't be here.
Ramza: *pulls out her lightsaber* We'll see about that!
Kefka: *utters his favorite line* Heh. *runs behind Jen and hides*
Jen: Hey! Hide behind....Reno!
Reno: Hell no! But...*charges up nightstick*...move out fo the way Jen and I'll fry this little fruitcake!
Kekfa: *jumps out from behind Jen* Fruitcake?! You son of a submariner! I'll show you!
Rufus: *smirks* When your done there, Keffy, I'll just give you that face full of lead.
Kefka: *jumps up and down* Don't call me KEFFY!
Frank: Psst! Jen...Athena...let's just move back slowly until we reach Seph's couch. We'll push it over and hide behind it.
Athena: Good idea!
Jen: I'm all for it!
Jen, Frank, and Athena run over to Seph's couch, push Tseng off, and use it as a shield.
Tseng: Hey! I can't fight! Make room for me!
Jen: *snorts* Maybe that's another reason you're not in very many fanfics.
Tseng: *shoves his way inbetween Athena and Jen* Shut up!
Ramza: Your days are numbered!
Elena: *reaches into her suit and pulls out a grenade* Couldn't have said it better myself! *she added proudly*
Ramza: *grins* Thanks mom!
Reno: *slings an arm around Ramza's shoulders* A chip of the old block.
Rufus: *slings shotgun over his shoulder and rolls his eyes* This family reunion stuff is really cute...but do you think we could get back to kicking this clowns butt?
Kefka: That does it! I am not a clown! Urgh!
Reno: Oooooh! I'm really shaking now!
Kefka: You asked for it! I call upon the powers of-
Ramza walks forward and with one swipe of her lightsaber, cuts Kefka's summoning session short.
Kefka: *looks down and sees his pants in a pool at his ankles* Eh heh! *turns red*
Reno: *leans down and points* Are those...hearts?
Everyone bursts into uncontrollable laughter and rolls around the room bumping into everything...including Seph's couch.
Kekfa: IEEEEEE! *runs out of the room, but trips and falls in the doorway*
Everyone: *laughs harder*
Kekfa pulls his pants back up around his waist and takes off down the hallway.
Reno: *sits up, clutching at his aching stomach with one hand and wiping his eyes with the other* That was great! You truly are my daugher!
Frank: *peeks out around Seph's couch* Is it over?
Elena: *still giggling* You-should-have-seen-it! Ramza-was-great!
Jen: Hey...what happened to Seph?
Suddenly, the gang hears a scream from the hallway. They all get up and run out the door to see what's going on. They make it just in time to see Sephiroth carrying Kefka underneath his arm.
Athena: Sure wouldn't want to be him.
Frank: Good riddence. Hey...is anyone going to clean up this mess?
One by one, everyone gives an excuse and leaves the room until only Frank, Athena, Jen, and Ramza are left.
Ramza: *shrugs* My Mom always said to pick up my messes.
Frank: *grumbles* Yeah, sure wish she'd listen to her own advice.
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We've had so many visitors this Ramble! Here comes the list:
Kefka, proud author of Tasteless Revenge and owner of Tomorrow Never Dies: A Final Fantasy VII Website stopped by to wreak havoc.
Ramza, that charming blonde heroine from that epic fanfic Tasteless Revenge also payed us a visit.
And you all know Frank, excellent author and owner of OH NO! NOT ANOTHER FINAL FANTASY VII WEBSITE who pays regular visits to the Rambles.
And last, but never least, Athena our favorite authoress and owner of The Edge of Sanity stops by all the time.
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