 ~ MRS. SHARP'S TRADITIONS ~  NOTE: The entire text below is taken directly from the book Mrs. Sharp’s Traditions. I cannot take credit in any form for the ideas and creativity on this page unless so noted. The book is written by Sarah Ban Breathnach and is currently out of print. If you can find a copy (the softcover version is called Victorian Family Celebrations), definitely grab it and run…and DON’T lend it to a friend because you’ll probably never get it back! "Christmas! What visions of good cheer this word evokes! A season of cherished custom, ritual, and traditions. Oh, yes, and memories. Let’s learn about The Advent of Christmas (making Advent Wreaths and Advent Calendars), St. Nicholas Day and St. Lucia’s Day while also enjoying making a Victorian Sugarplum Tree. We’ll also visit Christmas Past and learn more about decorating a Victorian Christmas Tree. We will also celebrate Chanukah and New Year’s Eve with a "Good Riddance Party." Come and join me in celebrating this most joyous month!" Mrs. Sharp learned a century ago to spread out the joys of Christmas over 37 days, from the first of December until January’s Epiphany celebration. "Thirty-seven days? Sorry, Mrs. Sharp, but I can barely make it through one! Tradition or not, there’s no way you’re going to get me to celebrate Christmas for thirty-seven days." But that, dear Reader, is precisely your difficulty. Can you not see it is clear folly to crowd Christmas into twelve very full hours of one day and expect everyone to enjoy themselves? There is much to be said for the practical Victorian custom of "keeping Christmas." Our celebration of Yuletide, which embraced both reverently religious and festively secular aspects, was spread out over many weeks and began with Advent. The Advent season – the four weeks preceding Christmas – was the time set aside for prayer and meditation before the nativity of Christ. Remember that for children, Christmas can be the hardest day of the year to live through. Greed, coupled with the stress and strain of "being good" all month, can bring about such tense, nervous excitement in our young ones that they cannot fail to be miserable. By extending the pleasures of the Christmas season, the disappointing letdown that often comes Christmas morning can be diminished. THE ADVENT WREATH Beginning with the first Sunday in Advent, Victorian families would suspend an evergreen wreath with a single red candle over the dining-room table. Every day a white or gold paper star with a Biblical verse would be added and the candle rekindled. Each successive Sunday in Advent a new candle would be added, lit and a small celebration of reading verses, singing carols, and the savoring of holiday treats would occur. To make an Advent wreath, Mrs. Sharp uses a wire hoop with four candle holders or a circular Styrofoam base with four candle holes. Place a plain evergreen wreath on top of the base; if using a wire hoop, secure the wreath with thin wire or pin it to the Styrofoam with hairpins. Next insert four red candles. While the suspended Advent wreath is charming, if there are young children in the house, you might prefer to leave yours lying flat on the table. Each day during the Advent have the children take turns adding one large gold-foil paper star to the top of the wreath. A tradition that young European children especially enjoy is creating a tiny Advent garden within the wreath. Legend has it that beginning with the first Sunday of Advent, the natural world – the kingdoms of minerals, plants and animals – rejoices at the coming of the Christ Child and offers a gift for the Creator’s son. Let your children be of assistance: On the first Sunday have the children form a circle of smooth stones and crystals; the second week add gifts from the plant world: pinecones, holly springs, even small red roses. On the third Sunday, the animal world joins the celebration with small toy figures of sheep, donkeys, and other creatures. On the final Sunday before Christmas, the figures of Mary and Joseph are added to the center of the wreath to stay until Christmas Eve. Finally, at Mrs. Sharp’s house, once our Advent wreath is completed on the first Sunday in Advent, the family gathers for a festive tea. We spend the evening cozy by the fire, singing carols and basking in that happy glow of contentment that only the approach of Christmas brings. CREATING AN ADVENT CALENDAR Each calendar contains 24 windows, and beginning on December, one little flap is lifted each day to illustrate the Christmas story, which is completed Christmas Eve. To maintain domestic tranquillity, just be sure every family member from the youngest to the oldest has his own Advent calendar. To make an Advent calendar, sandwich together two sheets of colored posterboard with a piece of gold foil in between and lay them on a flat surface. Now draw and then cut out the shape (on all three pieces) you would like your calendar to be: a square, rectangle, or perhaps even a Christmas tree. Glue the foil shape to the bottom piece of cardboard. On the top piece of cardboard have the children draw a Christmas scene. Now, using a sharp pencil, draw 24 small square windows on the top sheet, pressing down hard to make sure you leave an outline of the windows on the gold foil. When you have done this, number the windows (1-24) keeping the size of all the windows (one inch square works well) the same except for #24, which should be the largest and placed in the center of your scene. Now draw on a separate piece the pictures you would like to show through the windows (a Christmas tree, Santa Claus, a star, angel, toys, etc.), ending with a picture of the Christ Child in a crib for Christmas Eve. Cut your pictures out and glue them to the foil-covered bottom sheet. Now place the top on a cutting board and carefully cut three sides to each window with a razor or sharp craft knife, leaving the left side of the window intact to act as a hinge. Loop a piece of ribbon in between the cardboard to stick out of the top of your calendar and carefully glue the two pieces of cardboard together around the edges. With a clothespin hold the layers together until the glue is completely dry. Now hang your handcrafted family heirloom with pride! For many Victorian families, as well as families today in Holland, Germany, and England, the Christmas season really begins with a visit from Saint Nicholas on his birthday, December 6. Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra in Asia Minor, was said to have lived around A.D. 325. He was well-beloved for his compassion and generosity, mysteriously providing food, warm clothing, and even bags of gold for the needy. For parents who feel frustrated by the fact that Santa Claus’s visit inevitably overshadows their religious observance of the birth of Christ, a visit from St. Nicholas can help tremendously. A celebration of St. Nicholas Day can continue to satisfy a deep desire children of all ages have to believe in a great, benevolent, and generous gift-giver who rewards the good. Before they go to the bed, Mrs. Sharp’s children place their shoes, filled with hay or a carrot for the saint’s horse, beside the fireplace or front door, along with a beverage for his servant, Ruprecht, who carries the satchel of sweets and novelties for good children and switches for the bad. When the children awaken the next morning, they discover delicious seasonal cakes (lebkuchen, a German honey cake, or a piece of iced gingerbread with the saint’s picture on the front), a small mesh bag of gold-foil-covered chocolate coins, and one longed-for gift form each child’s wish list. Mrs. Sharp’s children have been taught that it is St. Nicholas who inspires us to prepare our Christmas gifts for others, for custom has it that he knows what each family member truly desires and so he puts ideas into their heads. St. Nicholas’s visit provides our family with just enough foretaste of Christmas to make the waiting pleasurable, and it enables us to look outside ourselves to the holiday needs of each other. Sugarplums were exotic sweetmeats, a combination of fruit and nuts, traditionally only available during the holidays. Originally sugarplums were whole figs, which were transformed into a glaceed fruit by long simmering in a sugar syrup. If you would like to create a sugarplum tree, take a cone-shaped form and stick toothpicks all around it; place your sugarplums on each toothpick until the tree is completely covered. SUGARPLUMS 1 lb chopped figs 1 lb chopped dates 1 lb chopped raisins 1 lb chopped currants 1 lb blanched almonds, chopped finely ½ lb chopped walnuts ½ lb chopped pecans 1 lb chopped, unsalted, shelled pistachio nuts ½ lb shredded coconut ½ lb crystallized ginger 1 orange (grated rind and juice) 1 lemon (grated rind and juice) 2 tablespoons good sherry 1 oz orange or peach brandy granulated sugar Chop the dried fruit very finely (a food processor or grinder is a wonderful tool!) and set aside. Next chop nuts in food processor. Set aside. Place coconut, ginger, orange, lemon, sherry, and brandy in food processor and process until orange, lemon, and ginger are thoroughly chopped. Combine dried fruit and nuts and add the juice, sherry, and brandy mixture. Mix together thoroughly. Form into small balls and roll in granulated sugar. Store in a covered tin, lined with waxed paper, for one week in the refrigerator to let flavors blend together. For centuries the traditional observance of Saint Lucia’s Day on December 13 has marked the start of the Christmas celebration in Scandinavia, as it does today in many Swedish American homes. Legend has it that once during a great famine in Sweden, Saint Lucia miraculously appeared, her head circled in light, to deliver food. On this morning, Swedish children awaken early and dress in long white gowns. The girls wear long red sashes and the boys were white cone-shaped hats with gold stars. Wearing a wreath of lighted candles on her head, the eldest daughter – Saint Lucia – leads her brothers and sisters in a procession into their parents’ darkened bedroom to deliver a surprise breakfast. Observing Saint Lucia’s is a wonderful way for children to make a contribution to the family’s Christmas tradition with this gift of thoughtfulness to their parents. Although in the beginning (especially with young children) you may need to assist them – such as preparing the breakfast ahead of time or even carrying the tray upstairs and then returning to bed – it is well worth the effort. A lovely story about this charming custom is Kirsten’s Surprise (click here to order!) from The American Girls Collection. Mrs. Sharp would like to stress that no daughter of hers ever walked around the house wearing a wreath of lighted candles. Instead, when the children were small, she created crowns of greenery and red ribbons for them to wear at a candlelit breakfast. Mrs. Sharp has discovered there is no more enriching way to teach children tolerance than by incorporating different ethnic traditions into our family’s holiday repertoire. CHRISTMAS EVE One Christmas Eve custom you might wish to adapt is that of the Yule log. This is the largest log of would we could find. It is decorated with a sprig of holly, placed in the fireplace and lit with much ceremony, where, we hoped it would continue to burn throughout the twelve days of Christmas. No fireplace? Then try hauling home a festive Christmas cake in the shape of a Yule log and call it your family’s Yule log. Mrs. Sharp would not presume to intrude on your family’s Christmas Eve/Day celebrations, except to suggest that on Christmas Eve while you are assisting Santa Claus, remove four presents from each child’s monstrous mountain gifts. One present the child will receive the day after Christmas (Boxing Day), the other three are to be saved until January 6 (Epiphany). BOXING DAY December 26 is an official holiday in England known as Boxing Day. This was the day that the alms boxes for the poor were distributed, as well as the day that servants took "boxes" of food and gifts from their employers home to their families. In Mrs. Sharp’s house our children celebrate Boxing Day with a treasure hunt. Each child searches for a specially decorated box in which there is nestled a small gift. DECEMBER 27 This is a good day to write holiday thank-you notes, which is done as a family project and made festive with the presentation of new stationery for each family member. DECEMBER 28 Today is the Feast of the Holy Innocents, the young children killed by King Herod during his search for the infant Messiah. The Victorians called this period Little Christmas, and it was the time that festive juvenile parties were held. Invite your children’s friends in for show-and-tell, followed by hot cocoa and Christmas cookies. DECEMBER 30 One day during the holiday break schedule a special entertainment outing (such as The Nutcracker), followed by a festive restaurant luncheon or dinner. But please, no fast-food snack-bar visit. This is a once-a-year grown-up extravaganza for the little set, and they love to live up to the event. TWELFTH NIGHT On January 6, we celebrate the Feast of Epiphany or Twelfth Night. This is the day when the Three Kings from the East arrived in Bethlehem with their gifts for the Christ Child. A Twelfth Night party is a Victorian tradition Mrs. Sharp is sure modern families will enjoy reviving. On this night the children are given three gifts from the Magi (representing one from each King) before a gala dinner with much rejoicing. After dinner, a Twelfth Night cake adorned with figures of the kings and a silver coin or foil-wrapped bean) baked into it. The child who finds the coin becomes king or queen of the family and is presented with a gold cardboard crown. Mrs. Sharp always has some form of frankincense and myrrh incense burning (available at craft and herb-specialty shops and religious stores). Mrs. Sharp thought she might like to share with you two customs that made our trees so wonderful. First, half of the fun on Christmas morning was for the children to search through the evergreen boughs for gifts bearing their names. If your family has never enjoyed the pleasure of a gift-laden tree, why not introduce a small tree just for this purpose? Another idea is to trim your tree with memories. Are there souvenirs from an anniversary, graduation or class reunion? Turn them into ornaments! You’ll recall wonderful memories as well when you add to the tree miniature versions of the children’s yearly activities such as ballet shoes, baseball mitts, or footballs (be sure to ink in the year on the ornament!). You can also place your remembrance ornaments on a permanent family wreath to hang on your front door or perhaps over the mantelpiece. If you are using trinkets, such as charms, coat them with clear nail polish to preserve their finish. In Jewish homes Chanukah is celebrated with the lighting of the menorah on eight nights, the playing of traditional games such as the dreidel, the eating of special foods, and the exchanging of gifts. During the Victorian era, Chanukah was not the major gift-giving occasion that it has become today. While the holiday was celebrated in the home with the lighting of the menorah and a special dinner, it was the custom to give children only "gelt" (the Yiddish word for money), either a few real coins or chocolate-candy coins wrapped in gold foil. Today, many Jewish families are unintentionally offering their children a Jewish substitute for Christmas because it is difficult to resist the powerful pull of Christmas customs when approaching the celebration of Chanukah. For parents who find themselves in an annual dilemma of not wanting to imitate Christmas in their Chanukah celebrations, yet wanting to find a way to make the holiday more meaningful and joyful to their children, perhaps one solution is to begin to reclaim the holiday’s distinct Jewish character. A marvelous resource that can help is The Complete Family Guide to Jewish Holidays (click here to order!) by Dalia Hardof Renberg. Here is a book that celebrates all the Jewish holidays throughout the year with recipes, arts and crafts projects, songs, prayers, and historical background that enhances a family’s understanding of each holiday. Another idea is to make at least one of the gifts something that celebrates Jewish life, such as Jewish calendars, books and magazines of Jewish interest, tickets to a Jewish cultural event, or arts and craft kits to make a Jewish object, such as a wooden dreidel or clay menorah. Finally, remember that at the heart of Jewish holidays are treasured home-centered customs that speak eloquently to people of all faiths. Hosting a Chanukah party one night during the holidays and letting the children invite their Christian friends to come to your home to share in your Jewish holiday traditions can radiate the joy of this festive family celebration. Begin your New Year’s celebration with Mrs. Sharp’s tradition of an annual New Year’s Eve Good Riddance Party. In the late afternoon on New Year’s Eve, everyone gathers together for a festive and substantial tea party (which stands in for supper), and our family celebration begins, complete with paper hats, horns, streamers, and confetti. Before we can welcome in the New Year, we ought to put the Old Year’s unfinished business – mistakes, regrets, shortcomings, and disappointments – behind us. Here’s how: Have each family member write down whatever it is he or she wishes to forget, then place the small slips of paper in a shoe box. While it is not required to reveal what is written down, this is the perfect opportunity for past hurts to be forgiven and hearts to be mended. Next, with ceremony, we wrap the box with black paper, sealing in the sorrow and bad luck. While we hold hands and say, "Good riddance," the box is placed into the fireplace to burn away the past. This restorative tradition grew out of a need to demonstrate to the children in a tangible way that we can put the past behind us and go forward with renewed hopes. If you do not have a fireplace, why not simply "bury" the past in the backyard; or just throw the box away. A ceremony of renewal, it provides much solace as well as positive memories. Now it is time to celebrate! Surely the past year was not just filled with disappointment, but much good. How to show the family? Mrs. Sharp goes to her Bible and takes out our prayer list, written last New Year’s Eve. Look how many of our prayers were answered! Keeping an annual prayer list is a marvelous way to demonstrate to children the power of faith and the miracle of answered prayer. Our prayer requests are then sealed in an envelope and placed in the family Bible until next New Year’s Eve. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
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