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Common Sense


 
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common
Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure
at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his 
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

Common Sense selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, 
homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs
done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits
held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating
such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain,
the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.
    
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies(don't
spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (adults
are in charge, not kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression,
and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural
and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole
language and "new math." But his health declined when he became
infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it"
virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for
the ravages of overbearing federal regulation.
    
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking
lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated
when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies,
reports of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental 
consent to administer aspirin to a student, but cannot
inform the parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an abortion. 
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as Lifetime Values became 
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment 
than victims, and federal judges stuck
their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but
was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable
regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets, "smart" guns, the
nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.
    
Finally when told that the homeowners association restricted
exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values,
he breathed his last.
    
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and
Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers: 
Rights, Tolerance and 
Whiner.
    
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.


 
 

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