Sometimes I struggle To keep myself from grabbing That bottle of booze That the prosecutor is snagging
I call David Crosby Who helps me through My craving for alcohol Stupid things it makes me do
I arrive at the courtroom Without any pants I am Miguel Sanchez And I slip into a trance
I lose the case I go back home To the YMCA Curled up alone
Donuts. By Homer Simpson
They are the tasty treat that I like to eat They are the fattening food that I consume
Any day without them is a bad one Wiggum shoots through them with his gun
They come with sprinkles, yellow and green They are the most beautiful things, I’ve ever seen
I shove the donut in my mouth I am happy once more without a doubt
They make my life whole They, the pastries with the holes
Eat My Shorts.
By Bart Simpson
Eat my shorts, they are so good They taste like butter, on a spud
I wear them everyday I even wear them in the month of May
Eating my shorts is the only way to go They have tons of fiber, and the sugar is low
You can pour salt on them if you would like You could even eat them in the night
Once you try them you will see They will make you sick as can be
True Love. By Homer Simpson
Love is like a beer A bottle of the finest If you open it up you will see Mmm beer
Love is like a pork chop Piping hot and covered in apple sauce Once you eat one you will know Mmm pork chops
Love is like a circus Watching a bear drive a car Once you go you will see It is the greatest thing that can be
Death. By Abe Simpson
Death lurks from every corner And takes on many shapes Once you’re my age and you need a donor It’s even dangerous to watch a tape
Because when your watching Your heartbeat slows You start sleeping If you wake up, nobody knows
Your loved one could be it Your pet could too Death has to use it’s wit To try to outsmart you
Ode to the Fallen. By Nelson Muntz
Oh how my fellow man is pained, It's a sort of unwritten law. That as their tainted souls are stained, I always say "ha ha."
Their tears run slowly down their cheek, Agony sticks in it's claw. But I sit there unable to speak, Only able to utter "ha ha."
The dark windy days in mid December, Gives me a slight quiver in my jaw, For I will never be remembered, Just the echo of my "ha ha."
A Poem. By Hans Moleman
Drinking has ruined my life, I thought I would have a wife.
People think I'm old, I am 31 years old.
I try to fit in, But everyone laughs and grins.
Yet I've never been told, That I look 31 years old.
A Friendship. By Ned Flanders
Homer takes my t.v. stand I just tell him, "Your the man!'' I may never see it again My lone t.v. stand
Howdidily-doodly neighbor-o My Christian beliefs are much abode Even though Homer knows that I love him so
Rod, Todd, Maude and Ned All the Flanders left-handed Homer takes our pride too I love him, don't you?
My Life. By Lisa Simpson
My name is Lisa Simpson, I'm in grade number two, My brother Bart, Penalizes me for everything I do.
Just because I find the old wars neat, And the theories of Einstein incredibly cool, He really hates it when I say, How much I love school.
Mom isn't much help when, I'm feeling low, Dad pays no attentions, And it seems he can only sit and say, "d'oh!"
When I was feeling unattractive, She said I was an duckling who was ugly, When I was feeling sad, She said I should be happy.
Dad loves me, This I know is true, But he lies, cheats, and gambles, He smells bad too.
The only solace in my life is music, That's all it ever will be, In any case, thanks for listening, And get me out of this family!
Green Bills & Coins. By Montgomery Burns
Green bills and coins, Green bills and coins, Oh how I love green bills and coins.
I would count them in a box, I would count them with a fox,
I would count them in a jar, I would count them from afar,
I would count them with a bat, I would count them in a hat,
I would count them with a goat, I would count them in a moat,
I would count them with a stick, >I would count them with a hick,
I would count them in a stew, I would count them with Apu,
I would count them here or there, Smithers please don't touch me there.
Lord Hear Me. By Rev. Lovejoy
Dear Lord as I lay myself down to sleep, I pray the Lord my sanity to keep. For if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord Ned's head to break.
Ned Flanders is the cause of my strife, This guy has totally ruined my life. His whines and moans of this and that, Makes me hope he'll be mauled by a cat.
His complains of "Lord, is this ok?", It makes me think he is crazy or gay. He cannot stand to feel like he's a sinner, I'll probably shoot him by next winter.
My Dad. By Bart Simpson
My Dad, my Dad, Thinks I'm a terrible lad!
My Dad, my Dad, He's always is mad,
My Dad, my Dad, As bald as Grand Dad,
But my Dad, my Dad Always makes me glad.
Image Returning. By Marge Simpson
Turning my head all around And feeling some curly blue hair I feel love everywhere My big blue hair is a sample of that
However I feel blue Blue as the hair the mirror is giving me back If I'm not that one Then who am I?
I feel love everywhere My big blue hair is a sample of that With my drag voice I will conquest the world That is my deepest hope
Ode to the Drive-In. By Cletus
Cletus, that's my given name Slack-Jawed Yokel my claim to fame
Some folks may never eat a skunk But there is one thing I must debunk
To those people making fun of me As I create a pretzel-free society
