Picking up my relatively messy room, I end up sitting on my bed flipping through my journal. I saw a flash of something other than silver pen on lined paper and went back to it. The stub of a ticked was taped securely to the page. My eyes trailed laughingly to the two page entry below it.

The night of my second Hanson concert. I looked around at the millions, okay maybe that was an exaggeration, hundreds of girls screaming at the top of their lungs and all I wanted was ear plugs. Pretty sad but that's what I was thinking. They came on stage and another roar sounds from the crowd. Oh shut up! I remember the horrible head ache I had that night. Funny how it didn't really ruin anything but my respect for a certain group of screaming teen girls. We had great seats, better than last time, even better than the "side of the mosh pit" seats we'd had at the amazing Silverchair show. Yup that's me, musically versatile.
They start off with "This Time Around," folowed by "Where the Love," then "Smile," I sing along. Most people are singing to be heard or just cos of the huge adrenaline rush it gives you. You get more of one from on stage. I thought, I sung too, but because of the massive head ache I stuck to actually concentrating on the notes, not like I could really hear myself over the excited crowd. I was almost jealous, I wouldn't have screamed anyway, I love my vocal chords too much, but I wish I was that excited. But I just didn't feel up to it. Pain will do that to you.

The concert went by quickly, but the show was amazing...big surprise, eh? Then we head for Mickey D's AKA McDonald's. I hate that place. I know it's one of the band's fave fast food places, and the only stop on our way to home, but I'm just not a fan of fast food. Non the less I was hungry and needed a drink to take some heavy asprin with. We all, my friends "Roswell," actually Melinda, "Jay," actually Renay, Bobbi, not really Bobbi but close enough, me, and my mom, marched into the restaurant. There was a holler from one of the lines one that had I not been in pain I'd have recognized. But instead I put my hands up and covered my ears. I know I said something to the effect of "oh my freakin' head" because there was a meek "sorry" from the boy who'd shrieked.
Without looking up I know I assured him it was alright. Looking up, I broke out into a smile. No screaming, blushing, nothing but a corny, corny smile. While my friends' mouths hanging open, I just gave him my best "I'm pathetic" smile, that one that comes over you and when you realize how stupid you look you turn tens shades of red. Zac stood there and behind him Tay, and clinging to the other side of him was Mackie. Tay held Avery's hand, and Zoe just stood there in front of Ike, and behind him was Walker, and next to him Diana. There are way too many of them. I'm shy, dead out can't say a word shy, unless something like this happens to me that forces me to gain my little composure. I don't remember the entire conversation, and surprisingly I didn't dictate it to the paper word for word, but I remember congratulating them on the show, and talking about music.

They seemed surprised. I guess they expected me to scream and when I didn't do that they expected me to keep the topic on them and when I didn't do that I think they were rather stunned. I have a horrible tendency to do that to people.

We sat and talked, and inside my heart was going a million miles an hour, but no faster than it would with a normal attractive group of guys. Riiight.
We sat and talked, about music mostly. It's something we could all talk about. I'm a bass player, and I can do some guitar tricks too, Bobbi plays guitar, and so does Jay. And being in a band, all the brothers were musically talented as well, Bobbi ended up talking to Jessica about dancing, and I talked with Ike about guitar, and with him and Tay on music in general. It was a good conversation, the kind you try to build with that cute guy who's winking at you in the mall...just different circumstances.
After talking for way longer than it had taken us to eat, Diana got up and summoned the rest of the family. I shake hands with Ike and Zac, who apologizes again, and Tay said something to the effect of, it was nice talking to you, you were fun to talk to blah blah blah, I didn't expect much, but that's me, I never do. I guess it's so I'm not disappointed. Tay took a napkin, and wrote out an AOL screen name, and an email address. He looked up at me an that's when my breath just kind of sat there instead of coming out. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. Okay okay enough.
Ike looked over his shoulder, took the pen, and scribbled down a AIM name and address, and the wrote "shhh! don't tell anyone PLEASE." I thought it was cute that they thought they could trust me after that one night. Personally, I wouldn't have. But I'm not the trusting type. I'd heard Diana scolding them as the walked out the door. Obviously they'd done something they weren't supposed to. Cant't say I blamed her, but I was still happy. I looked carefully at the napkin names, they weren't at all Hansonish. No wonder.
I skim through the other entries written about emails and time spent chatting on line and long distance phone calls. The first of those pretty much amazed me.
After meeting them, I hadn't expected us to keep in touch, then Zac IMed me and asked for my phone number because he had to get off the net and we'd been in mid convo. I typed in my number and literally jumped out of my chair when the phone rang. We'd talked for hours and hearing his voice renewed the idea of the people I'd been talked to, though it was a hard thing to forget. The phone calls increased any my job salary went towards my returning them. Tay IMed me one day and said they may be around my "neck of the woods" and would drop by if it was okay. This time I didn't jump out of my chair, I fell out of it.

They had come back around here for a bunch of press shoots. The shoots had been in NYC, but that's not too far from where I'd lived. So I went down to NYC with Bobbi and spent the day with them. It was more fun and comfortable than the first meeting. We shopped, well Jess, Bobbi and I shopped, and walked around Times Square. I sat outside two of the press conferences, and learned something very important...never ever go to a press conference with another band. They'll ask you more questions then the band members.
They'd come out and told me they'd been quizzed on if we were girlfriends and a lot of other questions. I think they ended up telling the guy I was a family friend that helped take care of the kids. After I had to keep Zoe from eating a plant in the office, I guess that seemed good enough for them.

I put the journal back in the full box of used notebooks, from 1997 up to the last completed one. I shove it under my bed...well, cot actually but it's comfy so "bed." I finsih cleaning, and I don't feel like going into it, it was so dirty. Now straightened up, my basement-made-room was comfy. I stretch and kind of drag myself up the stairs. It's a lazy day and I feel lazy after that cleaning.
I walk up to say good bye to the rest of the gaint, okay maybe large is a better word, family that's getting ready to head out. I walk out onto the hot paved driveway and look down the street and around the thick summer heat.