The following was some crap J N Caretaker stuck on the main page This has been a moment of insanity with Bloody Fun ... thank you!? ....End of drunken ramble ... well that one?
So we meet again? tc 11/08/01 May 28 2001
Well if any fans of Bloody Fun are reading this? If you want to keep dibs on this movie magic bloody fun covered soap opera of mot life! yours somewhat truly
May 13th, 2001
News flash!!! CHROME BABY Spy V.
February 3rd, 2001
(#9 & 10?)
(#8)
(#7)
(#5)
(#4)
(#3)
(#2)
(#1)
Hi dee ho I wrote this nearly complete and then twitched and Xed out my page.. no save..
Well to recap .. TC finally able to buy camera after 3+ years ..
arrival pre Oct... might make for more annoying fun from bloody fun? ...
Eric moves to Pittsburgh, Mike still there .. haven't heard from either?...
Possible new TC started projects of insanity... maybe a couple vampire tales, a George Deal
... this untitled thing with spyV...
Varney .. no not the late one and only Jim ...
but that purple Mr. Hugs n Love,
familiar to see a Smoochie beat him to it,
TC still has a right to make it after all the Barney witnessed video with daughter raimi ...
who turned the big 2 on Monday Sept 23, 2002 .. favorite words from BFP's youngest allumni of late..
tubbies, hotdog, NO, OK, buddy (the kitten), and of course the long running favs juice & sucker...
well time will have to tell, if Bloody Fun has a future post Chrome Baby,
take care and, or die ... John N. Caretaker .. lurking for the Insomniac ... 9/27/02
He shows up just long enough to go ape sh*t at the keys?
I should have just deleted it, but I guess it's just more BFP now!?!
Well...I guesss I am intoxicated...well i guess I am intox...hmmm...
I sit in the company of a couple jovial buds?.........
Some deer is in distress???...I feel strange that the deer is dead....
Driving deer as a .... hmmm ... field ...
actually to the now confused ... I am ... maybe intoxed ...
so I may be typing a part of a conversation
that is in the backgroun.. were did you get the dudes that got the deerrrr..
... see maybe I am intox.., but with tom greenie what is left,
but video taped blind dates and all that is for real ???
Ok aaaayye this may have been a bad idea .... ... ....
scope 'em scope 'em ... f*ck that ... I gotta go now...
blasted in my ear ... pony comes out.. & BOOM ... any of them got horns ...
after everybodies got .. 250 yards ... I just saying ...
the corn field ... but he can't ... but take a shot ... anyway ...
pony said nobody got a license ... shotguns are loud ..
really loud ... it was powerful ... here comes pony ...
let's get the f*ck out of here!!!
It is I, Tom Colbert, back at the keys, where the hell is John N Caretaker?
I burden him with the bloody stuff & then he just disappears!?!
Anyway.. sorry for the lack of new crap on the site.
I have been catching up on making a living, well eBay...
taking care of my baby & being miserable in my spare time:)
Mikey Maggot, that's Mike Schneider for the ones who know him..
is moving...to Pittsburgh, I guess walking is better there?
Who would blame him anyway, he will just rust here!
One of the guys he knew at the institute moved to California,
HE got to work on Hannibal, that brainy head scene?
That probably just adds to the con side of the list for old Titsville?
We did manage to film a scene at a real funeral home somewhere!
The owner, caretaker?, was a really cool guy too!
We got most of Mike's zombie rising from the dead, still dead, scene done?
We are all invited back ... to finish the rest too!
I told you the guy was really cool, he needs a part in Chrome Baby
Mike laid on that cold table for hours and ... loving it!?
You know one of those tables for the dearly departed
Eric found this guy, Steve, to play the coroner & he was pretty good.
We are scheduled to film some more of Johnny's dungeon next week!
Well! I have to go do something ... else ... now,
Actually, I only came here to make a note of something else?...
I am sad to report, that BFP has fallen to 140 on the Horror 100, boo hoo,
Maybe after I get the new stuff up here, people will visit & vote again?
In other news, I just watched Shrek a few times.
It is a pretty fun flick, overall, well what can you expect it's Hollywood.
It does move fast, but I sensed some tug of wall going on...
like it is daring and fresh, then sometimes typically commercial?
John Lithgow's voice is great for Lord Faarquad, sorry for the spelling!
Oh well it sounds like F---word to me or F---wad?
I think it could have used more torturing of faily tale creatures!
Even the use of old nursery rhymes, you know...
the Muffin Man?...maybe the Farmer, the one in the dell?
What did Jack and Jill do on the hill with that pail,
to cause them the aftermath of chaos?
What did Jack think as the blood gushed from his broken crown?
once upon a next time, god bless us all and to all a good night!
How should I say this?
I, tom colbert, the idiot that wastes too much time on this web site?
I feel the need to come to terms with this entity known as Bloody Fun Pictures!
I have seen, in the past?, that there was something in our crap.
Even if for only our own amusement, we roughly made some cool crap?.
With no-budget to speak off, we did what we did, I proclaim them entertaining?
Well, before I lose my crazy train of thought, should Bloody Fun live on?
With Chrome Baby not so far from an end, I thought, I'd give it more time?
I think emotions are a factor in everything, especially with no-budget!
Big MOVIES, yes even those so called low budget are business laced with art!?
You have contracts, paid people and well...a budget!
With none, a lot of things are based on everybody keeping a faith?
The faith in the project & the faith of going on to a bigger success level!
Also it feels good, if you're strolling down the street & some one recognizes you from something!
That sometimes even helps to fuel the interests of the concerned?!
But definitely you need a heart & soul in everything you do!
Ok whether you get something out of the above crap or not, here goes!
I personally have had a very disgruntled attitude towards making much of anything for a while!
I guess I can't or won't bring all personalities into this!
There has been a lot of stuff twisting in my gut!
I have way too many thoughts in my head and a somewhat raging imagination in my mind!
I've spent a great deal of time hiding up here on the site in the last ... months?
I at least, got to burn off some of the rampant? creativity, that I had to express!
Overflowing from longing to work on one of my shitty movie ideas!
This is where that emotions & interests stuff comes to mind?
I don't want to be lucas, cameron or spielberg, just a movie maker!
I don't want a lot of money, a living maybe and enough to do another?
Well that's what I thought I wanted, but lives & times change!
I feel that I may be able to or be forced to leave it behind?
Bloody Fun's lack & my own of a budget, time & crap,
have delayed making Bloody Fun's Volume 1 to sell & share!
BFP in the reality world have done many things, ok we didn't finish a few.
I personally love doing stuff with nothing, I do not need a spending spree.
Movie making is a living fantasy when in the right frame of mind!
At this time my mind is filled with too many frames!?
I guess I am having difficulty in the closing of some!?
Fearing, I may close the one I need to get to the ones I really need or actually want!?!
Ok how did I get to the frame thing?
I am glad, as it reads to me that my humor is hard to kill even in this manic monday? time?!
A good Bangles tune, but doesn't begin to describe it at all...
it's like a pineapple up hitler's ass!
I now also see that my misery is trying to entertain in some USO hell?!
Hey maybe this news? is curing me, gosh is it the bloody fun!
Hey...I have got a lot of stories, but my muses are getting tired of me or something!?
(Straying off) The human heart is a tough muscle to chew, but may be easy to swallow?
.........
*"put it in your mouth" "now move your teeth up & down"
"tilt your head back..."
"and let the meat slide down your throat hole!"
"DON'T CHOKE!"
*(italic words of wisdom? from the Adam Sandler movie "Little Nicky")
(That Little Nicky movie is fukkin' awesome...bloody fun with stars & budget?)
I can't promise what I'll put on them & probably have to charge something?
If you want to see something that everybody else hasn't...we got that too!
Some of the outsiders that have seen them,
now want us to kill them too...On camera!
That's like Bloody Fun is worth dying for, right?
Bloody Fun seems to me a willing victim to the expected...
"YOU CAN DO IT!" popping pleasantly up!?
I do have to say, I love my baby daughter and her mom for having her!
To all the crap, can't say much more now than..."SORRY"?
Keep checking back, but take care not to step in the flowers!?
...tom colbert
(actually this oozed from my grizzled heart,
meandered through my crampy body
took a dip in my scattered brain
but got ambushed by life rustling humor at the trail of the end?)
...?...
DON'T MISS "CHROME BABY" or someone will probably come to your house and kill you!?
crappy trails & candy road apples?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hi! TC here, my over due BFP news including "Man Lies in the Road to Recovery"
was going well, but eventually went awol?
Instead of waiting for my ass, here is SPYV:
Yesterday afternoon this reporter was witness to a rare and amazing event.
An actual confirmed sighting, of the reclusive, notorious, Bobb Hart.
This star of several of Bloody Fun's most hilarious and grizzly works,
rarely makes appearances in the studio.
As of late he has been at work with his band
and has not made a cinematic appearance in almost 2 years.
Rumor has it that he has more filming in him though.
My money say's that you can look for him in several of Bloody Fun's
on going and up coming films.
My favorite of all Bobb's immortal lines is;
"You cant just blow into those things...... moron?!" (classic)
Work on" Chrome Baby" continues, this eagerly anticipated feature length film from the sick mind of writer Eric James (with a little help from the associates) promises to deliver blood, guts and machine gun butts.
With a cast of several, and a budget of nothing, the production of the movie relys heavily on the various talents of the Bloody Fun Associates.
Still the "wounded man" has been the driving motivation behind the project.
James not only acts in this film but, directs, produces,
and every once in a while we let him get us coffee.
Myself, as well as the other members of BFP also appear in "ChromeBaby" , along with a lot of new faces.
Check out the upcoming pic's of my Bobb Hart sighting on the Bloody Fun page!
[051301]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
CHROME BABY
Waahat can't I say...attitudes, big guns, life & money?
As far as my contributions to the project, you'll have to read:
"MAN LIES IN ROAD TO RECOVERY"
Whenever I get done writing it, of course!?!
When I think of scenes, mostly, they'll what I believe I can do!
Eric thinks big, which is great, but in no budget?
One thing he excells at is drive!
I can see Eric rounding up cast crew & all that!
Eric plays the best as the serious in the silly!?!
Oh great, I'm writing like that again
Screw it, Shakespeare's still does not read well to me.
I wish I could be POE in laymen's terms?
Chrome Baby seems as frozen as the weather here in lovely PA
Hibernation, such a beautiful thought, but life is too short on seasons.
I hate winter, ok not all of it, but it's cold!
I helped Eric move a treadmill? into his apartment!
I have a friend with a treadmill, wow!
It was actually bought by his wife, Bali?
I didn't think she needed one, but Eric?
The guy told him it was in 2 pieces, simple move ahead!?
We arrived to find 3 easy pieces, yes yes...
The bag of misc., power converter & a FIG BUCKING TREADMILL!
Anyway, we got it upstairs, etc, so back to the program!
On the way back across the river he brings up some current events!
He starts to say what seems is to be the "Chrome Baby TRAILER", idea!
As seen in so many movies, an alternate vision of reality flashes!
Me reaching for the wheel & yanking it from Eric's grip!
Causing his father's new pickup to swerve towards the bridge's cement side!
Exploding through it and landing into the icy cold water!
Maybe even an explosion, hey it was my daydream!
Back in the normal, I just said bull sh...crap, we're going to ff*@%##ing finish it!
It has a lot of problems, but I really want to see it completed!
No matter what, it will surely be worthly of viewing!
I have been watching a lot of different stuff lately!
I plan a little MOVIES I'VE SEEN LATELY review type article...soon?
I try to view everything impartially, I try!
I guess this story on Chrome Baby is heading out of control also!?
I'll try this again, if things get a little more straight forward.
Tom Colbert Jan 1st, 2001
(yes it took me month to get here!)
2001 where the ffff...udge is the moon base alpha & all that?
Chrome Baby filming wasn't bad lately, except for some useless footage!
Where I saw nothing a while back, there is now a dim light.
My hopes kicking up with a faint but glimmering finish in the future!
Wow! we might actually get this thing completed?
Hold up there, we got a lot left to tape, effects, then...ouch EDITING!
That latter thing, I see very little pleasure ahead for that!
Maybe a piece of happiness, because we at least made it to EDITING!?
It will surely take it's toll on the ones involved!
I hope I can find the time to be on hand for most of it!?!
I am a glutton for pain, at least for the finished flick.
It will be a lot more fun than half the stuff I've seen this year!
.....hmmm.....
Well keep waiting it should at least entertain for one full showing!
bye tc 9/7-9/00
HOLEY GAWD FOLKS, I'M HERE, BUT I'M NOT?
I am gone now, but the anguished bloody son of fun is here?
Who is that you don't ask?
That would be von ov my berry vest friends?... hiccup .?.?. Rrrriii...
I mean ladies & gentleman...
"Spy V":
Nothing here but Babes, Blades, Blood, and Guns
I am the unknown and yet notorious Spy V, actor/fan
Direct descendant of the Boogey Man
You may have witnessed my debut action
In "My Crepitus" and other coming attractions
The things you have to do to be in movies these days
they say the lord works in mysterious ways
Cue the smoke , fire , explosions, and such
Quiet on the set and make up retouch
Twenty five takes and we still havent got it
cause the lights not the same as the first time we shot it
No animals were hurt in the composition of this poem
So Im taking my prosthetic limbs and Im going home
SPY V
9/5/00
HEY!!! I'm still here, no new HOME!
Listening to Everclear for a place on the beach!
Sometimes...it's hard to find that way to the perfect place?
Perfect? heck...who needs that...crap just something!
Hey I'll be back soon, if anyone is there!
I know in my heart, I think there's somebody?
And everybody knows, if that's so, then everything may be OK!
bye .... tc
By the way, I'm late gettin' to somebody's house!
So the old crap below is goin' to be here 'til next time!
I did film today, it was pretty cool.
If you're anybody don't miss "Chrome Baby", you'll be SORRY
Skipping cd back to that perfect beach song!
Remember! Never give it up, unless it takes you down!
BEWARE! Old CRAP Below:
Hell-O!
Just a short note to say HI...
Still filming...ok video taping with Eric on "Chrome Baby"!
I'm trying to be with this project, but personal sh...crap is gettin to me.
I thank all that have been kind to me!
In my darkest hour, I will never surrender!?!
*smile:) bye & take care....tc 5/14/00
PS:I promise soon to get the My Crepitus page done!
Since my last rambling, I've lost the 10 gallon...
*(checking spelling)...sombrero!?!
Pretty much everything else is the same, maybe a little worse!?!
I did get called a Lunatic by Atom Films!!!
I guess, I'm happy that someone looked at some crap I've done!
You can look at it in a new window, if you want!?
*(Know Don't I'm talking what about?, see the page news bloody old!
ATOM FILMS HONORS AN IDIOT?
Well right now I don't feel like saying too much!
So I'll just leave a jargon of personal notes!
As usual they'll probably be confusing to everybody!?!
Except maybe for the ones involved directly or that know me!
NO filming and need it!
The cheese has left the cracker...sorry spy V
The land of the Idle is still too popular of a place!
The Bastards are everywhere, watch out!
Growing old is not as bad as just growing tired?
White Russians are tasty beverages, but keep your pants on!?!
Love is not always strong enough to stop evil.
Too bad there just isn't more between bliss & misery!
By the way, in those sins, I was not guilty of:
HATE
(At least, Definitely not that of race, creed, etc.)
THEFT
(I wish nobody was, but I guess, that's just not possible?)
Ben Franklin was wrong, Death takes care of taxes too!
Things can not stay the same forever!
Even buying the groceries isn't the same anymore!
I think problems can look smaller in the rearview mirror!
I think I'm getting harpo tunnel, see ya?
lunatic tom signing off!
(April 16th 2000)
PS: I left MY crepitus below, I'll take it off once Mikey writes me something!
"Well howdy thar partners!"...from here in the range!?!
Here's a couple of new comments from nobody!
Old western comics can still teach valuable lessons!
"CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL", is sick & silly!
I finally can say, that Juan deserves his fame!
Moving always sucks, but there is always something up a head!
7 MOST ANNOYING SINS:
*** THEFT ***
*** ENVY ***
*** LONELINESS ***
*** HATE ***
***____ not saying what you really mean ***
*** Invasion of someone's territorial bubble! ***
(and of course...*drumming sound*...)
Purposely trying to make new friends!
(Of late, I'm guilty of all but 2)
Michael Schneider's
"MY CREPITUS"
My short review & 2 abes worth of "MY CREPITUS"
An EPIC (almost 90 minutes) vision by Michael Schneider!
It trowels me in a couple spots, but Crepitus is cool.
Mike is a LOVER of Lynch, Cronenberg, Barker, etc!
I expected to bite my tongue once or twice before the end credits!
It'll be a shame for all involved, if it isn't seen.
Mike can make you unwell, maybe annoyed, yes, but interested!
OUCH that hurt me!
Eric was great, but his scenes need edited again!
They seemed to become a little confusing by the end!?!
Hey!, he said Bali thought so too, his wife can't be wrong, she's British!
Besides it backs my crap up, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!
I decided to pick only one editing "glitch".
Unless you hand a guy, with real editing equipment, the stock footage,
stand over his shoulder and tell him "That's NOT righT"!
Excess smack is uncalled for, editing is no picnic, just ask Bobb!
I wish, I could've been more envolved with "My Crepitus"!
I'm NOT SORRY for calling it "Mike's Crappyass" movie, that was funny!
You may have noticed, I didn't say what the heck, it's about!
I figure I'll let Mike write that, then I'll comment!
Besides there's a little controversy with this project of his!
I thought, maybe the "Blair Witch" would help the little guy!?!
But mostly it just made some aspects of low & no budget worse.
I didn't think much of the "Witch" thing, anyway!
I do apologize to all its fans for my lousy opinion!
Lots of movies still inspire me, but all give a case of ENVY!
Mike, Bobb, Eric, Rich & I could make a killer movie!
Probably for less than catering costs of a big-budget flick!
If they'd just skip lunch, one day, we'd have a budget!
Well I have to either go to sleep or pack some more stuff!?!
Happy Trails, amigos!
tc
This was blurted out between 2:30 a.m. & 7:00 a.m., April 6th, 2000
Nothing from Atom Films about my email*
*(See my last meandering waffle!)
Oops pulling a Columbo, "Excuse me...just one more thing!"
I said I would put that Atom Film Oscar email content up!
Click on the "Mike & me at the OSCARS" photo, to read it!
I decided not to cram anymore on this poor main page!
DIE DIE MY CREPITUS!
(#6)
Hi again!?!
Below is a picture of me & Michael at the Oscars!
OK! We weren't really there, I made the picture 2 days after!
I sent for a red carpet mission kit from ATOM FILMS!
The contest was called "GET CAUGHT"!
They send you a shirt & hat with their logo on them.
Then all you had to do was get caught crashing the awards!
Get proof & be wearing one of their pieces of free apparel.
Well I couldn't have gotten to the ceremonies anyway!
So I made the photo, with the help of E online's Oscar pix!
I wrote some dumb email and sent it all to ATOM FILMS.
If anyone cares, I may print the letter here soon!?!
Well Eric just came in, I have to go keep him from breaking anything!
*I wish he'd quit reading over my shoulder!*
bye tc 3/31/00
PS: Mike's "MY CREPITUS" is finished, I guess, I'll give my 2 cents later!
Wow! I did make it back here!
Just when you thinks it's safe to go back in the water!?
Cue arm sinking down to ocean floor, red karo dyes the salt water!?!
It was the worst of times and the best of times!?!
The dead are walking the Earth!?!
Sometimes you do get cheese with your crackers, SpyV!?!
We all tug on imaginary ropes, trap ourselves behind invisible walls,
and take way too many walks against winds that aren't even blowing!?!
I have been writing a little now, but I think why?
I answer; "Hey Ed Wood made his visions!?!
Then I answer back "No one cared until he was gone!"
I guess for the few that still care, at least seem to!?!
I will be around as long as I can to scar their brains!?!
*Cue music outro:
"You got to go thru Hell before you get to heaven!"
I think I took the wrong exit, or something!?!
Take care and thanks for reading this crap!
tom
2/27/00
SOME NEWS ON FEB 8TH, 2000
(8:01 A.M.)
I thought I knew what I was going to say,
but it took longer to get on and ready...or something!?!
Well...Mike's "His Crapitus" OPUS...hmmm...was done with shooting...
Mike went off to Pittsburgh...to edit...haven't spoken lately
sorry phone calls are blisters this period of my existance
But hey I'll be back, try to make things crystal clear?
HOLD ON...please?
tc
HOLY SH!TE!
NEW BLOODY NEWS!
I'm a "CLEVER BASTARD" !?!
Please do yourself a bloody favor...Watch ANY & ALL movies by PETER JACKSON!
There is ONLY one true "Clever Bastard", it is he!
Thank all involved for choosing such an unworthy bastard!?!"
Check out "THE *OFFICIAL* PETER JACKSON FANCLUB" website!
"The Maker" of Bad Taste, Brain Dead (Dead Alive!),
Heavenly Creatures, The Frightners and Lord of The Rings!
'nuff shead?
There's a LINK below, but please take a look at Bloody Fun 1st!
After all Peter Jackson's famous and his site will always be there!
Hey if I get time, I'll tell you about helping Mike on "My Crap.eh..kiss"?!
Maybe it's Crepitus, whatever, he did do it at Jen's new place!
I guess all in all a very pleasurable experience...JEN RULES!
Got to go, Kirk's complaining about me being out of comic bags!
Until next time you can read the old crap below, Again?!
TC 12/23/99
Lets see...new stuff...hmmm...
Well...(breath)...I recently started working on a short with Mike Schneider, really!
He is, for now?, back from Pittsburgh and now with digital camera too!
I had this idea for a Poe work, "The Tell Tale Heart".
It will be another Bloody classic, I hope!
It is developing into what could have been a classic.
I didn't make a storyboard, script, screenplay, etc!
I would like to start over again, like most of them!
I'm calling this thing, for now, "The Tale Of The Bloody Heart".
I have always loved the original tale, so I should be the one to ruin it!?!
My friend Rich is letting us invade his home for this short!
He's going to do the narration and play 1 of the policemen!
I get to be old evil eye, Mike's the main man!
Eric James will be one of the other 2 policemen.
I will play the 3rd, unless I pick someone else!?
I was originally going to ask Bobb Hart, but I kinda got him mad at me!
I'll tell you more about this project later!?
In other news...I was told by an unreliable source, that Irv Moore is coming home, for good?
I am looking forward to making him laugh at me!
Maybe with his return I will find that urge to work on "The Boundary" again!?!
You may notice some new links on my pages, a lot of them!?
It's something to earn money for me supposedly?
Hey Bloody Fun needs some $upport, if it's worthy of it!?
I was going to put cans around..."SUPPORT THE BLOODY FUND!"
Anyway, some make me a few cents, just by clicking & downloading free stuff!
If you see a place you may or normally order from, Please order it thru my links!?
I would appreciate it from the bottom of My Bloody Heart!
Well it's now...almost 8am, I must be going somewhere!
Type your eyes out later!
YAWN!
TC
12/13/99
Geez! Christmas is almost upon us (Haha) and I'm closer to a pack a day...hack!?(12/23/99)
THIS WAS MY 1ST, DATE? NOV. 1999
Hell-O from Bloody Fun!!!
Not too much to report from the front.
Did some short efforts, but no sorries.
The Boundary shoots made me believe I could make it great.
Terry Wonderling is going to make a great Uncle Frank, so I want to expand his part.
Nate King (Young Fisherman) would be fantastic, if I could figure out his character.
It was usual business, as far as problems with no budjet!
I still don't know if it may become a full blown sick comedy!?!
I want to get Irv Moore (Sorry, Lock Jaw) back in PA for it,
but I think he's doin' ok in Georgia, why screw it up!
He is a nature wonder at his acting presence.
I have started daydreaming about a feature, I've titled it:
"George Makara makes a dope deal!"(I'll probably change it)
It's my "The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty" or "With 8 You Get Eggrolls" (whatever)
Putting dope in title is not very commercial, actually it would be these days?
Well got to give Rich a ride, chat with ya later!
TC
LAST PAGE UPDATE: 1/31/02
CREATED WITH LOVE ON DECEMBER 13th, 1999
