Return Edition - 11/27/99

Hello to all!

After being off the net for several months due to a move back home to Tennessee (and a run of bad luck as well I'm afraid), I have returned and restarted my poetry/writing ring.

Due to circumstances (spiraling out of control) I haven't been able to write as much lately but I do have some offerings for you. This first poem, "HERE I AM" is about my impatience to go out there and do something (anything) big for the Lord. Sometimes it's so hard to see the work of the Lord in our day to day tasks. We want to see immediate things, big things. Washing the dishes, although it serves the Lord by serving our family, just seems terribly insignificant. : ) [Jeremiah 29:11]

HERE I AM
Leslie Johnson copyright 1999

I said the words, "Here I am - use me."
Then silence as I wait.
I know that YOU
have plans for me,
this has already been said.
I could run rampant
with speculations.
Dreams of my writings
awakening an icened heart.
The fact is I should
still myself.
Wait with patience
for YOU to lead.
It seems so hard to do sometimes.
Even Abraham jumped the gun.
Knowing that should be a reminder
to still myself and wait
for YOU hear every word
I have ever spoken.
YOU know that
I am here and am
a willing tool for my Master's hand.

The next poem, "YOU ARE MY ONLY, I wrote after praying for God's comfort and strength. The last few months have had more than it's share of stress but I know that I can always turn to God. HE always listens and I am thankful. : )

YOU ARE MY ONLY
Leslie Johnson copyright 1999

Sunlight on a saddened face
drying tears in a lonely place
YOU are my comfort in the storm
the woolen cloak that keeps me warm
YOU are everywhere I can not see
breaking chains that bind me
When I cry out in my distress
only YOU can bring me rest
Fearful of the darkened kiss
YOU pull me free of confusion's midst
set me straight upon the Rock
clear my soul of death's rot
YOU are my only, one true savior
YOU shine YOUR love without favor
I ask forgiveness - no prejudice held
from within chaos is quelled
That I am blessed is not unspoken
the cross a symbol of love unbroken

Now before I came to Christ in November of 1996, I listened to some VERY different music. I've talked with some of you about it. I listened to some really harsh metal/industrial bands and some other musics that would definitely NOT help me stay the path that I had chosen. All through '96 God spoke to me in an incredible number of ways. HE was working serious overtime to bring me home. When I made the decision to walk with HIM, I knew that I HAD to let go of some things (okay, there were a lot of things). One of those I let go of was music that didn't focus me on Christ. I knew that otherwise, it would pull me away and I didn't want that. Enter dc Talk. Okay that's another story I'll tell you on another rainy day. To get this story over with, I used to listen to Tori Amos. Her music helped bring me through some critical moments when I first began to heal from my childhood (starting in like '92 or so). Had I not had her music and others as a vent for the anger and pain that I felt, I don't know if I would have come to Christ when I did. Which only goes to show you that God can and will use whatever HE wants to bring about the effects HE desires. I saw Tori Amos out promoting a new album on a morning news show and it brought me to write this poem. It's sorta in her styling.

MY RED ANGEL
Leslie Johnson copyright 1999

Tori
I'm thinking of you again
I do from
time to time
I left you
what seems like an eternity ago
you had told
the Lord
to step off
while I had
decided
to take a dance with
HIM
I'm still dancing
I no longer
know
where you stand
heard the other day
that you still like
chasing the darkness
to swallow it
Yet I still feel
thankful
that you were in my life
you helped me know
that I wasn't alone
you helped me
voice
all the anger and pain
find where I buried Elain
so from time to time
I'll think of your rhymes
your image will
return to me
just a blur
of red fluff
and lips
as I dance holding fast to my Partner

That's all for now. I'll send out some more in about a week. I'm actually planning this to be a regular occurrence this time around. Hope that you've enjoyed this. Next time I plan to send out the poems I wrote last Christmas. It's mainly to help get me in the mood for writing this year's Christmas poem (I have GOT to write one). Please let me know what you think - good or bad - about these poems and the stories behind them. God be with you, keep you close, and bless you deeply. Peace, love, and forgiveness.

Leslie

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