Quiet Blessings - 12/11/2000
MUTATING
- Leslie E. Johnson copyright 2000
There you are
in your corner of the world
and I don't understand you
like some mutated variant
I can imitate you
on the outside
but to look within
you'll find me a very
different breed
indeed I see and feel
the world in ways
your perception does not grasp
you wrestle with such
complicated issues as managing
a portfolio, matching shoes to the news,
and rather you should go to blue
Meanwhile I sit in a corner
of the universe
trying to break the walls that
make us match
I seek outside of these punched holes
to this Entity so much greater
than myself
Light spills through the holes
mutations exchange realities
where the Light pools
I am transformed
and you sit there in a cafe
laughing and smoking with a friend
never knowing what occurs
just two tables away
I have lived the past few days as though they were my last. I have noticed that a peace has fallen over me during this time. With little effort I find more patience with my children and others. I find myself selfish for holding onto my anger and so have made peace with others. I have made the effort to write notes to old friends seeking to mend fences or to offer words needed for encouragement for difficult situations they may be in. I find myself thankful for the smallest things and without thinking voice my thankfulness. I have called up loved ones just to tell them that I love them and how much I have appreciated them in my life. I smile at my children knowing that they still enjoy simple moments adults seldom have time (or remember how) to do. And I have felt no sorrow during this time of living as though they were my last days. If anything I have felt joy at the thought of coming close to Christ, of joining with eternity.
PONDERING ANGELS
- Leslie E. Johnson copyright 2000
Angels
look like glass
see-through shining souls
reflection and illumination
God's open chorus
Angels
are of beauty fierce
likened to God
loving yet fearful
tremble in their
reflected flight
I wrapped Christmas presents knowing the thought I put into each one and anticipating the joy the recipients will experience when opening it - instead of worrying about their rejection. I decorated the house simply, not feeling any pressure or competition from the neighbors to go all out. I volunteered work on my church's Christmas play - enjoying the time spent with other mothers working on the sets, working with the children and teens in the play, and taking photos for the church to document the occasion. I have felt joy in giving of myself, giving of that which I have been blessed with, and the joy of feeling the Spirit give back. I have lived as though these were my last days. I have lived more truly in the season of Christmas than I ever have before.
THE STORY
- Leslie E. Johnson copyright 2000 (comes with music)
I heard of the lil drummer boy
and I've heard of the 3 wise men
I've heard of the littlest angel
and I know how this story begins
Yeah, I've heard it all before
come hear the knocking at the door
open your heart and invite HIM in
the lil Baby refused at the inn
I heard the story of the 3 trees
and I've heard it from the angel's view
I've heard of the shepherds in their fields
and I know this story in all its clues
Yeah, I've heard it all before
come hear the knocking at the door
open your heart and invite HIM in
the lil Babe who defeated death and sin
I've heard of Christmas without the glitz
and I've heard of the calling star
I've heard of the Virgin Birth and know
for some that it may sound bizarre
Yeah, I've heard it all before
come hear the knocking at the door
open your heart for the King of Kings
let the love of this story your soul sing
While this wasn't exactly an experiment of choice but one brought on by medical doubt, I still found this time to be a blessing. It was a time of knowing more fully than I have ever known what it truly means to be a Christian. I hope that you feel the same things I have felt (without being in a quiet crisis). Merry Christmas to all. May God be with you and bless you deeply in the spirit this season of joy.
Peace, love, and forgiveness.
Leslie Elain
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