Top Ten Version #3 - 8/23/2000
Welcome to this edition of the ring. We are continuing our study of God's Ten Commandments (known in the title as the "Top Ten"). Looking at Deuteronomy 5:7-21, we've already looked at adultery and coveting (Top Ten #1) and worshiping other gods and worshiping idols (Top Ten #2). This time let's take a look at Deuteronomy 5:17, "Do not murder." (I'm reading "The Book" version of the Bible)
God wanted us to respect human life. Life is a great gift that HE has given to us. But like many gifts that we receive in life we don't always respect it. We say thank you when we receive a gift at a birthday party but we don't always mean it. Or if we are rude little brats, we out and out scream that this was NOT what we wanted.
MIRROR PRAYER
- Leslie E. Johnson copyright 2000
Sometimes looking in the mirror
is the most frightening thing to do
See pieces of a young woman
who stupidly wasted her youth
Looking deeper into that face
I see shadows of past mistakes
I see Mama looking back through different eyes
and then I feel Daddy's hate
I can't stand to look very long
want to bust the glass
pretending I am someone else
is all that makes love last
Reflecting back sins of others,
sins of the flesh, sins of my own
weigh so heavily on my heart
there's no place to call home
Prayers of a broken soul
shattered by violent greed
only God can reach down
and heal in this darkened dream
Please my Lord I beg
Please peace be
let me look at my own face
and not have the hatred seethe
Let love flow free
Please peace be
Please my Lord I beg
no mirror reflecting death and grief
I grew up in violence. I grew up with this sense in the back of my mind that death could come at any given moment. I grew up with the feeling that life had no worth and that included mine. And though I know why that is, I won't go into detail here for you gentle souls. At a very young age I faced the prospect of being murdered (more than once) and I don't think I've ever recovered. So speaking from this experience, I think that most murders start with hate of one kind or another. You hate yourself, you hate this other person, you hate the circumstances of your life, you hate the thought of going to prison, you hate God himself. [To me, and I'm speaking purely from my own opinion, murder is an incredibly violent act. It's not something done by accident. You don't accidently murder someone. You might accidently kill someone but that's something different.] Murder is a conscious violent act with thought put into it and it is done with hate somewhere in the mind - either fully blown or in the back.
FOUND A SHIRT
- Leslie E. Johnson copyright 2000
found a shirt
in a used shop
"see you at the pole" it read
had a red stained hole
from being shot
took it home
to think about
all the things we've forgot
freedom of speech
doesn't include
wiping out another
whose beliefs you don't approve
Yet freedom of religion
should mean that we can pray
anytime, anywhere
on a Sunday or a school day
why should we
be made afraid
to bow our heads
and say thanks and praise
why should our
point of view
be silenced from the rest
when this country was founded
by those who found
following God's laws to be best
yet here is this shirt
a silent testimony
in red stain
that when others forget God's love
some are left unable to make a stand
This hate gets in the way of feeling or knowing God's love. And because of this life just doesn't seem as important to so many these days. Death seems an easy thing. It is so easy to forget about God and just follow a darker path. At an early age I was also shown that death is an "easy" way out of life's problems (it still goes back to hate). Again my personal opinion, now I see suicide as just another form of murder - murder of self. And death is not a way out, it's a potential gate to a whole new set of problems. I have had people close to me commit suicide. At times when I was depressed their suicides shaded my own decisions. At the time I could not hear God's voice in my own life because I was screaming too loudly. I am glad to say that now I don't see that as an option. Whatever may be causing pain in my life (either emotional or physical), leaving God's plan is not the answer.
Please hear me.......
-Leslie Johnson copyright 2000
Screaming for help
God give me a sign
looking through philosophies
living life blind
Which is the answer
which ones are wrong
jarring my soul
to an empty rock song
How much more screaming
wanting someone to hear
make some noise
until they feel my fear
echoing in my heart
abrasions silence my throat
communicate the pain
in a vibrating note
raising up head level
heavy dark heat
hold it straight now
no chance to repeat
nervous hand quaking
all the way to my toes
pressure on the darkness
holding for a whisper in the soul
God if you hear me...
Please ... please ...
But I've closed myself off
wanting release
We want so much to be heard, but we're not willing to stop and listen for the answer. Through the veil of hate that Satan cultivates in our hearts, we allow murder to be the answer instead. I am eternally thankful that God spoke to me and HE had stilled me enough that I could hear ever so clearly. I am eternally thankful that I was always stopped short of committing murder every time I contemplated it - self or otherwise.
I know that for some of you it's a bit shocking that I open myself up so wide in these rings. For me I see no other way of showing the world how deeply God has lifted my soul except to put the darkness along side the light so the difference can be seen. I apologize for any offense and ask that you send me an email if there's a problem. I want to resolve it through the love of God.
God be with you. Peace, love, and forgiveness.
Leslie
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