The Times Are A-Changin'
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Chris Rice's "Go Light Your World"

life can be so bizarre.

for example, 48 hours ago, i had three jobs i really enjoyed. i worked for Ripple Productions as a writer/director/producer and as head of film development. i worked at the Fertility Center as the head of Media Services. i taught Intro to Photography at Spalding Elementary. today i have one job. i'm still a teacher.

Wednesday evening i was notified that, as much as it breaks Ripple's heart, it simply could not afford to continue to pay my salary. this did not come as much of a surprise, as our last play was in May and it didn't bring in much money. i've been wondering for quite some time how Ripple could continue to my exhorbent salary, but didn't question or complain. i was saddened but not surprised and i honestly felt like this was God saying, "you're growing complacent. I need you over here, doing this instead." so i was actually excited by this change.

Thursday morning, however, brought about a more unexpected change. i ran into my boss (who shall remain nameless) in the parking as we headed into work. he was like, "hey, heard about Ripple. bummer." i said, "yeah, speaking of which, i need to have a pow-wow with you about that." we agreed on a 10am pow-wow. i go into his office and ask if the FCOC would be interested in bringing me on full-time as now i have my afternoons free. he looked at me blankly, i kid you not, and said, "well, actually, the agreement we had with Ripple was should they ever let you go, for whatever reason, we would do the same." i'm shocked. i'm being let go from one job because a completely different job couldn't afford to pay me anymore. not only is this job not interested in bringing me in full-time, they're not interested in keeping me on part-time. for, the only reason they gave me was, "'cos Ripple is letting you go." he then had the gall to say, "and you're getting married in three months. bummer man, bummer. i'll be praying for you."

this only confirms my life-long belief that you should not work for a Christian, as they opt to be concerned about your eternal well-being in lieu of treating you professionally. that's just been my experience.

as "bummed" as i am, i'm actually excited by what this means. due to the subject of my termination, i feel like this is God just moving me where He needs me, as opposed to actually being fired. i haven't been fired. i've just been hired by people who would like for me to continue doing my job for no money.

so. if you'd ever like to do anything, i have some free time on my hands.

Crash
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Sister Hazel's "Your Winter"

i watched the most amazing film last night. it's the kind of picture that deserves the title "film" (as opposed to some of the "movies" studios insist on releasing). it is all at once gripping, nostalgic, hilarious, sad, tragic, shocking, blunt, honest, inspiring, and exactly the kind of picture this society needs right now. it's called Crash, and you owe it to yourself to watch it. if you need star power to spice it up for you, it stars Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Brendan Frasier, Thandie Newton, Matt Dillon, Ludacris, and Ryan Phillipe. i don't remember the last film that made me cry, but this one had me in tears TWICE. please, stop reading this blog and go see this picture.

Have a Nice Day
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day"

life is good.

i've been talking to a lot of my friends lately (something new i think i'm going to try to keep up) and i've come to the conclusion there's a lot of unhappy in the world (startling, i know). everyone seems to be looking to the future. everyone has this goal they want to reach, and apparently, once they reach this goal, they will be happy. but they're not happy right now. they hate now. they think "now" sucks. me, i'm enjoying the journey.

how are you supposed enjoy the goal if you can't enjoy the race? how are you supposed to be happy with someone if you can't be happy alone?

i see so many "adults" around me that are constantly changing what they're doing. so many people change their goals, their priorities. so many people go to school for one thing and end up doing another. are they happy? some are. others are still reaching for this elusive goal they set out before them twenty years ago.

enjoy today. it's all you have.

Yay for Labo(u)r Day!
Now Playing: Maroon 5's "Sunday Morning"

"Labor Day differs in every essential way from the other holidays of the year in any country," said Samuel Gompers, founder and longtime president of the American Federation of Labor. "All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with conflicts and battles of man's prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, of glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor Day . . . is devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race, or nation."

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

i bet ya' didn't know that. i didn't, i had to look it up. google it, it's almost an interesting read.

i celebrated Labor Day by lazing about my apartment watching bad movies. i can't think of a better way to waste a day off from work! it was actually really nice, as my life has been going a mile a minute recently (or so it seems). i also got much writing done, which is always a perk.

i suppose i should mention Katrina (the storm, not the girl). i've made it a habit these past six years or so to avoid the news at all costs (probably why i'm a demmy, who knows). and so it wasn't until Friday night, when Tony and Kelly filled me in, that i realized just how horrific it is down in New Orleans ("Nahlens") right now. i was physically sick when i heard the stories that are coming out of there. then, on Saturday, my dad was called and asked to drive a bus down there (this, after another one of our buses was shot at). i'd be lying if i didn't say it scared the pee outta me to think he was going down to what has become a third-world war-torn city.

he was packed up, ready to go, and they canceled it. story of our life. God is always looking out for that guy. He must still have big plans for him. i'm still praying my thanks over that.

but do find a way to support those people. in your own way, whatever way you can. if all you can afford to do right now is pray, then pray. if you can send money, send money. there's a billion legitimate websites set up right now that's taking contributions.

my favorite one thus far, and the one i contributed to, is www.bungiestore.com, which is the official website for Bungie, the creators of the game "Halo." you can get a clever little t-shirt there that says "Fight the Flood," and has Master Chief from "Halo" kicking a little alien from the Flood race from "Halo." it's an 18$ shirt and 15$ of it goes to the American Red Cross. i signed myself up for one and am expecting it in the mail.

Find Your Voice
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Weezer's
find your voice.
read.
read books.
read poetry.
read articles.
listen to ideas.
listen to theories.
listen to world views.
find your voice
challenge stereotypes.
question ideas.
question rules.
question authority.
don't rely on knee-jerk responses.
ask questions.
ask "why?"
step outside your comfort zone.
agree to disagree.
open your mind.
filter.
find your voice
define your worldview.
share what you've learned.
pass on what you hold dear.
don't let others speak for you.

find your voice.

Jesus Walks
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: Robbie Williams' "Lazy Days"

over the past couple of years, i have noticed how there are fewer and fewer Christian artists with whom i can connect with. that's not to say there aren't any, because that would be untrue. Rich Mullins, dc Talk, Michael W Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, Geoff Moore, Ginny Owens, Newsboys, and Sara Groves still reach me, touch me, and inspire me.

but more and more, i'm connecting with secular artists. why is that?

my personal opinion (hypothesis, if you will) is because Christian artists are hampered by Christian expectations. every single song they sing has to reflect back to Christ.

which, i know, sounds terrible. "isn't that the point? isn't that what we're all supposed to do?" yes, ya' got me there. but the problem is, most Christians, it seems, not only want the Gospel, they want the kosher Gospel. they don't want all the bumps, stains, hiccups, bruises, sweat, scars, heartache and headache that makes the Gospel necessary. they just want the "yay Jesus" songs, as i call them.

now don't get me wrong. i love a good "yay Jesus" song. but Monday through Friday, when i'm going to work, going to school, dealing with taxes, rent, bills, escalating gas prices, i don't need (or want) a "yay Jesus" song. i want someone to reflect with me that this world is crap and that there's a better way. that we need to rise above this.

enter the spiritual guidance councilors Bruce Springsteen, U2, Bon Jovi, Jewel, Alanis Morissette, Eminem, Kanye West, Chris Gaines, and Robbie Williams.

here's a bunch of cats that have touched me on a deeply profound spiritual level and these are the same kids that sing about sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. they confront the real problems and stuff that we have to deal with when you exist in this world and say, "hey, it don't got to be like that."

i have enclosed the lyrics to Kanye West's "Jesus Walks." i hope it ministers to ya'.

Jesus Walks

We at war with terrorism, racism, and most of all we at war with ourselves
Jesus walks
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
Jesus walks with me
With me with me with me [fades]

You know what the Midwest is?
Young & Restless
Where restless Niggaz might snatch your necklace
And next these Niggaz might jack your Lexus
Somebody tell these Niggaz who Kanye West is
I walk through the valley of Chi where death is
Top floor the view alone will leave you breathless
Uhhhh!
Try to catch it
Uhhhh!
It's kinda hard
Getting choked by the detectives yeah yeah now check the method
They be asking us questions, harass and arrest us
Saying "we eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast"
Huh? Ya'll eat pieces of shit? What's the basis?
We ain't going nowhere but got suits and cases
A trunk full of coke rental car from Avis
My momma used to say only Jesus can save us
Well momma I know I act a fool
But I'll be gone til November I got packs to move I Hope

Jesus walks
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
Jesus Walks with me
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now
Jesus walks
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
Jesus walks with me
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long

To the hustlas, killers, murderers, drug dealers even the strippers
Jesus walks for them
To the victims of welfare for we living in hell here hell yeah
Jesus walks for them
Now hear ye hear ye want to see Thee more clearly
I know He hear me when my feet get weary
Cuz we're the almost nearly extinct
We rappers are role models we rap we don't think
I ain't here to argue about his facial features
Or here to convert atheists into believers
I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers
The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way ya'll need Jesus
So here go my single dog radio needs this
They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus
That means guns, sex, lies, video tapes
But if I talk about God my record won't get played huh?
Well let this take away from my spins
Which will probably take away from my ends
Then I hope this take away from my sins
And bring the day that I'm dreaming about
Next time I'm in the club everybody screaming out

Jesus walks
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
Jesus walks
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now

The Movies of My Life
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: The Shins' "New Slang"

as if you asked. like you care. but, what follows is a list (in a very specific order) of my favourite flicks.

1.) Almost Famous
2.) Garden State
3.) Amadeus
4.) Chasing Amy
5.) Braveheart
6.) Fight Club
7.) Moulin Rouge!
8.) Pirates of the Caribbean
9.) Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
10.) Spider-Man 2
11.) X-Men 2
12.) Snatch
13.) Patch Adams
14.) Finding Neverland
15.) Closer
16.) Band of Brothers
17.) Tombstone
18.) Love Actually
29.) Chicago
20.) High Fidelity
21.) As Good As It Gets
22.) Sleepy Hollow
23.) Good Will Hunting
24.) Swingers
25.) Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
26.) Return of the Jedi
27.) Trainspotting
28.) Spider-Man
29.) The Incredibles
30.) Superman
31.) The Empire Strikes Back
32.) X-Men
33.) Episode II: Attack of the Clones
34.) Star Wars: A New Hope
35.) Return of the King
36.) The Fellowship of the Ring
37.) The Two Towers
38.) The Passion of the Christ
39.) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas


it's probably important to note, at this time, that this list is subject to change on a daily basis -- except for the top 5. the top 5 might rearrange themselves, but those five remain the top 5. these aren't necessarily the films i think "are the best films," but simply some of my favourites, the ones i never get tired of watching. and i own all of these. except Episode III, which in fact, has not yet been released.

now you know. and knowing, as you know, is half the battle.

tune in next time (or some time in the future) for the most influencial films of mine.

God's Institution for Crazy People
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy's "You & Me & The Bottle Makes Three"

that's what Dr Womack, our pre-marital counselor called marriage. "God's institution for crazy people, that's what it is, because you have to be committed. That terminology exists for a reason." this is the same man who, when he has seen me at work for the past six months will stop me and ask, "are you guys still getting married?"

i'll respond, "yes."

"really?" he shakes his head, flustered. "but you two seem so happy!"

we got a long famously last night, fun was had by, well, there were only three of us there, so the three of us. we were scheduled to meet for an hour, but we took it to an hour and forty-five minutes without blinking. Kelly and i had a lot to talk about afterward too, which is always good.

Kelly had to dash off to an English Club meeting after our meeting, and i had to finish updating Ripple's website, so we parted ways. on my way home i ran by McKay's to pick up Cliff Notes on Shakespeare's "Richard II" and found a hardback "Ultimate Marvel Team-Up" and Kanye West's "College Dropout" album, so i picked those up too, only spending about 8$, thanks to the McKay's credit i had.

life is good.
very good.

Love in the Time of Scurvy
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: the Chemical Brothers' score for "Fight Club"

this weekend offered up all sorts of surprises.

on Sabbath (Saturday, for you Gentiles not affiliated with the Seventh-Day Adventist Church) i performed "Other Agenda," a very well-written skit about people's various agendas for attending church. it was an ensemble piece and i played "Pastor Jim," the lead, more or less. good fun.

Saturday night we threw a massive pirate-themed surprise party for Amos, Corey, and Kelly, as their birthdays are all right on top of each other. the night can be summed up with the following collage:

after the party, Kelly and i went back to my apartment and watched "Aladdin," which still just cracks me up. love that movie. after Kelly went home, i watched Dancer in the Dark, which was a thoroughly depressing movie. it's directed by Lars Von Tier, who has the single most depressing view of America i have ever encountered. the movie was good, but not as good as von Tier's Dogville, which starred Nicole Kidman and Paul Bettany.

in the wake of "Dancer in the Dark," i sat down and wrote two short film scripts for Ben Mitzelfelt, which i will deliver to him shortly (probably this afternoon).

i then needed a pick me-up, as the Holocaust script i had just written and the "Dancer in the Dark" film had left me a bit drained, so i popped in season 1 of Britain's The Office, which kept me very entertained.

Sunday was slow and relaxing, i went in to Barnes & Noble with Kelly and perused the books. i picked up Chuck Palahniuk's "Survivor." upon returning home, i sat down and flew through 81 pages of the book, something i haven't done in probably more than a year, when i read Palahniuk's "Fight Club." absolutely a fantastic read.

tonight Kelly and i begin our first night of pre-marital counselling. should be a gas. i'll have a play-by-play account for ya' tomorrow.

Trading Insults (and Other Curious Dialect Phenomenon)
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: War's "Why Can't We Be Friends?"

who knew my little blog would stir up so much trouble?

this blog is a direct sequel to the one that has friends old and new up in arms (August 17th's "Exhaustion -vs- My Existence as a Reverse Oreo"). some have posted comments, others have e-mailed me, and one called me.

what follows is not to be confused with me trying to defend myself. it is me explaining myself and my blog further (something, i'm told, an artist is never supposed to do, but i'll make an exception this once).

i grew up believing there were good words and bad words. i didn't question it. i just didn't use them. but growing up on military bases has a way of exposing one to all sorts of words in various languages. i was amazed how many good people used bad words. when my family would sit down on Saturday night with a big bowl of popcorn and watch a movie, i knew any time someone uttered one of those four-letter words, if i looked over at my mom, she would shake her head disapprovingly. i thought it curious that some of my heroes, good people still, would use bad words.

as i grew up, my friends started using these words. the more i heard them, the less i thought they were bad. i realized my friends could call me a "dork," and it wouldn't effect me. but if one of my enemies called me a "dork," i was deeply offended and hurt.

that was the first time i was introduced to the duality of words. it wasn't the word that offended me. it was the intent behind it.

since then i have sat down through MULTIPLE Bible studies with people, as they try to explain their faith or as they tried to make sense of what they read in the Gospel the night before, would swear a blue streak (so far as for one man to call the Saviour "Jesus f*ckin' Christ"), but not once was it offensive (shocking, yes, offensive, no) because i knew this was just their dialect, their language and to them, it wasn't swearing. the words weren't bad.

i was in eighth grade when i adopted "these words" into my vocabulary. as i did, i quickly realized there are people you can say these words around and people you can't, very similar to the way one (living in the south) has to choose the words carefully they use when talking about the south losing the Civil War.

words. we're talking about words here. we're talking about the relevance people put on them, which i think is odd. i think "outlawing" these words is the easy (dare i say, "Republican") way out.

we need to challenge ourselves to ask ourselves why we use the words we do. what do we mean when we use them? that's what Jesus is talking about in Matthew 5:22. it's not whether or not i use "the N word" or not, it's about why i use it. what do i hope to prove by using it? what place am i hoping to put someone in by using it? where is my heart? am i being malicious?

for the record, there are two words i use VERY sparingly as it's hard to be anything but malicious when using them: mediocre and ugly.

i'm not asking anyone to agree with me. this is my world view.