More Bodacious Wedding Pictures!
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Erasure's "Respect"

you came, you saw, you wanted more.

The Much-Delayed But Brilliant Pictures
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Creed's "My Own Prison"

what up World Wide Web? i'm tired of all your belly achin', so here you go! here's just some of the pictures (i think the last time we counted, there's exactly 2,020 pictures our photographer took). these are some of my faves. if you wanna see more (including the rumoured up-kilt shot) just lemme know and i might be able to slide a couple your way. ;)

Worst Blogger Ever
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day"

hey all!

i must be the worst blogger ever. i haven't updated in forever. which for i apologize. i just wanted to let you all know that pictures are coming but you're gonna hafta wait just a little bit longer. sorry. no Internet access unless i steal some from the 'rents.

with that said, i have to dash. have to meet the wife and some friends at the Olive Garden . . . even on my days off, i can't escape that place. ;)

Mexican Men Love Me!
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Sweet's "Love is Like Oxygen"

before i say anything else, i have to update you. it's my duty as the groom.

THE WEDDING WAS AWESOME!!

absolutely nothing went wrong. nothing. well, except Dr Womack knocked over a candelabra during the rehearsal, but that's nothing. see? nothing went wrong. it was glorious. Kelly was so beautiful. i was so handsome. the brides' maids were delicious. the grooms' men were yummy (or so i was told). Rachel sang, Shawnessey sang, Litch married us, Womack fasted our hands, Tony took our pictures, our mothers cried, our fathers cried, our relatives cried, our friends cried, Kelly cried and . . . i think i was the only one that didn't cry. ;) the reception was off the hook -- it was so off the hook, Santa Claus himself showed up! how more unhooked from the wall can you be?! Brian and Jeff videoed (though i haven't seen the tapes yet, i know they're quality, i mean geez, we were giving them so much good stuff to work with!).

we spent the night in the Sheraton Reed House in downtown Chattanooga. we had room service from Porter's Steak House, had a jacuzzi about ten feet from the bed and had a wonderful view of Aladdin's (think Kinko's knock-off).

simply put, the day was amazing.

but on to the Mexicans! okay, so as some of you may know, on Kelly's and my first date, i had a truck full of Mexican men making eyes with me and just about winking at me. well, yesterday, two Hispanic men ate the Olive Garden, ran up at 41$ check, and left me a 16$ tip! in the words of Inspector Gadget, "Wowzers."

so, apparently the Mexican community loves me and i just have to say, i love the Mexican community. i would like to take this time to thank Hispanics everywhere for Salma Hayek, tacos, burritos, nachos, Antonio Banderas, chimichangas, Robert Rodriguez, salsa and Juan Valdez. the world is better off because of you Mexico, which is more than Canada can say.

editor's note: Scott is only vaguely aware than Antonio Banderas and Juan Valdez aren't from Mexico. furthermore, Scott is only vaguely aware of the existence of Canada.

T - 24 Hours
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music"

Henry Purcell's Allegro from Sonata, i have decided, will be our recessional. i quite like it, despite it not being our original choice, the theme from "Peanuts," but that was deemed too "festive" by the music committee at the church. ah well, such is life (they also shot down Bon Jovi's "Born To Be My Baby").

our current music line up is as follows:

Fathers/Unity Candle Entrance
Shawnessey Cargile performing "You Raise Me Up"

Men's Processional
a string quartet version of Bon Jovi's "Always"

Women's Processional
Patrick Balls' "Carolan's Welcome"

Bridal March
Carol Thompson's "Bridal March" (it's a beautiful Irish harp rendition)

Lighting the Unity Candle/Exchange of Rings
Rachel Komorowski performing "You Are My Home" (from the Broadway show The Scarlet Pimpernel)

Recessional
Henry Purcell's Allegro from Sonata (as previously stated)

the Foggs are in town, baby and it's awesome. last night was spent swapping stories of yore, laughing, and just generally giving each other a hard time (it's how we say "i love you" in Foggish).

everything is lining up. my kilt jacket came in on Thursday and it's MARVELOUS. Dan got outta jail after having to spend only one night in it (over two dollars! two!). everything's clicking and we're firing on all cylinders as we round third and head into the end zone on our final lap (can't think of any more analogies, sorry).

don't worry. i'll post a plethora of pictures when it's all over. ;)

Sexual Harassment Can Be Fun!
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double T's "Pride"

so today i'm in Alley Jr, which is a cute little name for this tiny little section in the middle of the Olive Garden. it's barely wide enough for one person to walk down but on most days, we find ways to pass three through this needle's eye while carrying drinks. i'm this Alley Jr, getting my drinks, and Rebecca T enters (not sure what the T stands for, so we'll just say it's Thumbtack).

Rebecca Thumbtack, for those of you need who need a visual, is like a feminine Legolas (i know what you're thinking, it'd be harder to imagine a masculine Legolas). she walks into Alley Jr, blows her hair out of her face, picks up a glass and, well, this is where it gets interesting. she takes this glass of hers and presses the open part of it (what we'll call the mouth of the glass, as that's where the mouth of the person goes when said person is drinking out of said glass). she takes the mouth of the glass and presses it against my left breast, my man bosom. she then proceeds to twist and grind this glass against my chest. granted, all of this was over in a matter of nanoseconds, but it was the most shocking thing to happen to me between the hours of 11 and 12 this morning.

and it made me think.

had i done this to her, it would have been not cool. uncool, if you will. but since she's a chick and i'm a dude, it is totally acceptable for her to grind her glass against my man-boob.

the lesson kids?

dude sexually harassing a chick = very uncool, man.
chick sexually harassing a dude = very cool, indeed.

stupid friggin' double standards. i have half a mind to grind my glass against her ass on Tuesday, just to prove my point. but by the point in time, i'll be a happily married man, so this is one lesson that might have to go by the wayside. thank your lucky stars, Rebecca Thumbtack, thank your lucky stars.

Friggin' Rainy Days of December
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Weezer's "Sweater Song"

i like rainy days. no, i love rainy days. very little makes one feel as alive as a rainy day. even less makes one feel as alive as running through the rain on a rainy day.

but working at the OG has given me a new-found disdain for rainy days. people don't go out to eat on rainy days. when they do, all they want is soup and salad. when all they order is soup and salad, they're only spending $13.00 and most people (especially old people) are only willing to tip their server a buck fifty on a thirteen dollar tab.

it's at times like this that i muse, "if we lived north of the Mason-Dixon Line, all this rain would be snow."

stupid South.

Dan Fought The Law (and The Law Won)
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Everclear's "Rockstar"

so yesterday morning as i'm driving into work, i'm calling up my groomsmen. i'm just going to remind them that their tuxes should be in tomorrow (now today) and that they can pick them up at any time. Dan, one of my groomsmen and my best friend, stammers:

"Well, Scott, I'm kinda in place right now where I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to the wedding on sunday."

"Really. What place is that? Kentucky?"

"No," he says, "they have a warrant our for my arrest."

"WHAT?!" I yell in capital letters. "What did you do?! Who did you kill? What drugs are you running and does this mean there's an open position for me, because I could really use the extra money."

"I was in an accident a while back and I never paid the fines. I'm going to turn myself in after work."

i've tried calling Dan twice since that fateful call and he hasn't answered. Dan, if you're in the big house and are able to somehow read this, i have one word for you: Soap-On-A-Rope.

i'm enjoying a day off work after working two doubles in a row. have some errands i need to go run and i just completed two little graphic jokes for the wedding. we have these two little billboards, one of which will be on the groom's cake and i designed these to put on them:

so there you go. a little sneak-peek at the wedding, just for you my fans. ;)

5 Days, 5 Nights
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"

life is getting really, really exciting. in just 5 short days, i'll be a married man. that's just 5 more nights of running around my apartment naked, shakin' my groove thing all by myself. in just 120 hours, i won't be ALONE! now there's a visual you don't need. Quincy Jones' "Sanford & Son Theme" blasting over the stereo as me and my lady shake the wagons were draggin'. nice.

okay, so you want to talk about strange? check out the picture that follows this paragraph. this chick used to be a camper of mine. remember when i worked at a summer camp for four summers? no? well, i did. Cohutta Springs Camp. this chick (who shall remain nameless for the time being, to protect the innocent) was a camper there for three of those summers and was in my drama class. and now she's an up and coming model. freaky. i feel so old. old and bald. and fat. but that's okay 'cos i got my lady by my side and she loves old, fat and bald men. and Johnny Depp (which doesn't really help my case, it's just another fact).

i'll call you later. i'm off to the OG.

(in the meantime, if you're looking for something to do, go download the teaser trailers to X3, Mission: Impossible 3, and Miami Vice -- they all look AMAZING)

Gloriousness
Now Playing: Michael W Smith's "Unloved"

what's up, dreamers?

yesterday Kelly and i went and saw The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and it was GLORIOUS. it's such an amazing movie. it's everything i loved about the book(s). i don't think a better job could have been done with it, in all honesty. i guess this is my "Lord of the Rings," because as much as i loved those movies, there's nothing you can say to me to convince me that i need to read the books. i saw the movies and that was enough for me. i own all the special editions and i enjoy watching them every now and again, but "Narnia" is the stuff of my childhood fantasies were about (that and Superman, Robin Hood, and GI Joes). go see it. get off your computer, off your lazy butt, and go see it. if you don't, i'll do this until it gets stuck in your head "i get knocked down, but i get up again, i get knocked down, but i get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, i get knocked down, but i get up again . . ."

eight more days.

oh, and here's something for you comic haters and lovers out there: