I’m writing this with my left hand. I’ve been left handed my whole life. My left handed influences include the band Gene, ‘cos they know how it’s to be left handed. I was born in Turkey to Latvian gypsy parents. They sold me to the Karnival at a young age because I was left handed, and the Karnival needed a tambourinist anyway. Well, the Karnie life was not what I had always dreamed about, but it turned out okay. I met others who shared my love for song and dance; who were song and dance. It was soon after we met that my mates and I fully realized how much better we were than everyone else and how much we loved sandwiches. So, we formed up as the Uberkarnies to show the world how great it is to be us rather than you.

We now travel, just as my gypsy ancestors did, to bring our message of song and dance and alcohol abuse to the world. After numerous successes, we have become accustomed to the weight that accompanies our being the standard bearers of Karnival life. This added stress only inspires us to further our message of Karnie superiority. Only a Karnie can reach enlightenment and only a Karnie can truly sing, dance, and abuse alcohol on any level of worth.

We have had our differences, though. It’s true that the lads don’t understand that it’s hard to be left handed. They don’t know why I smile ‘cos I’m not alone. But I’ve taught them quite a bit with my bloody tambourine playing. I guess I still have some resentment towards the instrument and that’s what inspires me to play my heart out with such fierce emotion. The alcohol though, that’s what we really play for and about and blah, blah, blah…. We love the booze, the hooch, the shine, and anything that might make us blind; like running with scissors thru a briar patch. We also want you to enjoy drinking while we sing for you. Drink while you make breakfast, drink yourself to sleep, drink when you’re happy or sad. Or, just drink while running with sharp pointy things, ‘cos like our music you’ll fall down and put your eye out.

I am the heart and soul, the essence, even the myth of the Uberkarnies. I am also left handed and, like the bandmates, I am better than you. So, put our 5 albums in the disc changer, grab some booze and some scissors. We’re gonna put your eye out and take you on a karmic trip through the Karnie life.